1 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:03,295 Come on, Richmond! 2 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,507 Good ball, Evellyn. 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,511 Whoa! What? Against us? 4 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,721 Referee! 5 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,098 What the fuck is she doing? 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,435 Bad call! Bad refereeing! You saw that, right? 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,813 It's another toothless display from Richmond, who've fallen 8 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,774 from contenders to mere promotion hopefuls, 9 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,485 with hope dwindling by the minute. 10 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:31,532 And it nearly got worse! Another great save by Quinn. 11 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,617 What a save, Boots! 12 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,162 Quinn still on the no gloves thing. I almost respect it. 13 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,414 - Almost. - Bring it on, Lady Greyhounds! 14 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,418 Ah. Back in the day, 15 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,046 a woman that hysterical would have been accused of being a witch. 16 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:48,966 I miss the '80s. 17 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,092 Well done! 18 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,469 Now Richmond do have Gemma Jay on the bench, 19 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,680 - back from injury ahead of schedule. - Right, go on. 20 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,181 I'm ready to go in, Coach. 21 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,725 Ain't no way, Gemma Jay. You ain't cleared to play. 22 00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,769 Why haven't they put her on? 23 00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,813 All right, I know you're using me as a decoy on the bench, 24 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,232 but what if you use me as a decoy on the pitch? 25 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,944 That's the question, isn't it, Jill? 26 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:12,447 They're desperate for a goal and she's surely desperate to play. 27 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,701 I can't believe you're benching me after begging me to come back. 28 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:16,743 I didn't beg. 29 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,957 You're too close to me. Sit down. 30 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,918 Richmond need to get something from this match. 31 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,171 Here comes El Sherif down the wing. 32 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,257 Oh, the cutback. 33 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,842 Whoa! 34 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,927 Could this be the equalizer? 35 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,345 It's Davis! 36 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,140 Oh! 37 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,184 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 38 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,268 Fuck! 39 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,936 - Keeley. - Oh, whoa, whoa. 40 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,021 You all right? 41 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,773 Ooh. 42 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,151 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. You? 43 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,571 Hey, Marcus, go ahead. 44 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,656 A large part of your recent troubles have been 45 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,367 the team's lack of offense since Gemma Jay's injury. 46 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,912 It's been six weeks now. Any update on her return? 47 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,915 Well, look, we ain't exactly sure when she's going to be back with us quite yet. 48 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,750 But I know she's rehabbing the heck out of that knee, 49 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,419 and the only person hoping for a green light more than me and Gemma 50 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,794 is the Great Gatsby himself. 51 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,005 All right, who else? 52 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,424 Lloyd, come on, man. Dazzle me. 53 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,676 Um, there's two games left this season. 54 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,888 Uh, a win this weekend clinches the final promotion spot. 55 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,182 Any other result opens the door to disaster. 56 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,726 Heavens to Murgaloid. Way to set a vibe, baby. 57 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,728 How are the team holding up, 58 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,814 knowing they could drop down into a sea of promotion hopefuls? 59 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,233 Mmm, well, you got that right. 60 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,819 The standings right now are more crowded than a Planet Fitness on January 2nd. 61 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,072 But this team loves each other, 62 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,448 and I'm proud of the way they fight, 63 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:39,993 unless it's at a pub quiz going wild and they get the po-po involved. 64 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,204 But heck, even then it was a team effort, you know? 65 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,789 All right now, next question. 66 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,666 And how are you feeling now? 67 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,751 I'm fine. I really am. I promise. 68 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,461 Are you taking any medication? 69 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,421 Yeah, I take meds for high blood pressure, 70 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,382 one of the many traits that my mum handed down to me 71 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,676 like being overly competitive at board games, 72 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,220 deep love for Irish butter, and boobs. 73 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,430 She sounds like my kind of woman. 74 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,307 But if you've got high blood pressure, 75 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,685 you should be taking it easy at these games. 76 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,103 Do you think that's why I fainted? 77 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,187 Yeah, probably. 78 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,982 Or could you be pregnant? 79 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,692 No! 80 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,026 I mean, no. 81 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,361 When was your last period? 82 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,072 I just had it, like a couple of weeks ago. 83 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:22,494 Well, better safe than sorry. 84 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,914 I'm just gonna, yeah, let me have a check on the app. 85 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,708 It'll be right here. 86 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,377 Yeah, okay. Here it is. It was... 87 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,379 two, three, four... 88 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,256 eight fucking weeks ago! 89 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,658 - Howdy, Mae. - Hey, Ted. 90 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,827 - Tough loss today. - Yeah, tell me about it. 91 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,746 Sorry I'm late. Press conference went long. 92 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,914 Uh, where's the kid? 93 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,582 He's babysitting the lads for me. 94 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,002 - No. You're trying to get it in the eye. - But don't worry, I fed him. 95 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,086 Thank you. 96 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,547 {\an8}And thanks for keeping an eye on him. You've been a real lifesaver. 97 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,173 {\an8}You mind if I give you a little extra cash? 98 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,634 {\an8}No, no, Ted. 99 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:22,304 {\an8}But you can settle his little pinball tab though. 100 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,764 Sounds good to me. What's the damage? 101 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:24,932 £6,000. 102 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,309 Come on, now. 103 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,936 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, big guy. 104 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,854 {\an8}- How was your game? Yeah? - It was great. 105 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,814 {\an8}We were tied 2-2 at the end of the second half, 106 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,067 {\an8}and I had a pretty open shot on goal, 107 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,528 {\an8}but instead of taking it, I passed it upfield to Walter Buns, 108 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,905 {\an8}- and he kicked it in for the win. - I love it. 109 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,491 {\an8}That you made the extra pass and that you play with a kid named Wally Buns. 110 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,619 {\an8}But, hey, I'm sorry I missed another one, big guy. 111 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,580 {\an8}I know, but you were busy coaching a bunch of girls. 112 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:51,834 {\an8}Ooh, I bet they're the ones that are coaching your dad. 113 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,418 {\an8}Ain't that the truth. Yeah. 114 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,045 {\an8}Come on, let's hop upstairs, grab your stuff. 115 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,338 Your mom's gonna be here any minute. 116 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,798 - Night, Mae. - Night, darling. 117 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,007 Thanks again, Mae. 118 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,133 My pleasure. 119 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,389 {\an8}I'm just saying you're lucky you didn't bump your head. 120 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,473 {\an8}Mm-hmm. 121 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:07,558 Even though head trauma 122 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,227 can occasionally unlock savant level superpowers, 123 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,688 most of the time, people just end up dead. 124 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:17,150 Thank God you were sat with Rebecca and her Warrior Princess guns of steel. 125 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,235 Yeah. 126 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,738 {\an8}Look, I know work has been stressful for you this year. 127 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,156 {\an8}It's been stressful for me as well. 128 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,410 {\an8}But I do really think you need to try and relax. 129 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,245 Tell you what. 130 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,498 When both our seasons are over, I could take us on a holiday. 131 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,125 Great. 132 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,460 We can finally go to Marbella. 133 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,839 Not for six weeks, obviously. That was fucking mental. 134 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,841 But at least for four or five. 135 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,273 {\an8}You have been in there a while, babe. You okay? 136 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,942 Babe? 137 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,569 Be right out. 138 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,738 Well, I hope it wasn't the starters. 139 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,282 You think you're safe with MandS cheese puff pastries, 140 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,034 but you never know with feta. 141 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,621 {\an8}I said you never know with feta. 142 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,081 {\an8}Yeah, it's such an unreliable cheese. 143 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,170 Um... 144 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,437 {\an8}Sorry, I'm fine. Don't worry. 145 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,356 - Wow. - Good. 146 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,359 Here, try this. 147 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,818 {\an8}You go first. 148 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,154 {\an8}Okay. You don't trust me. 149 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,074 {\an8}Any word yet on Roy's contract? 150 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:50,327 {\an8}Uh, no, apparently his agent is at a silent retreat 151 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,204 {\an8}where you're not allowed to use your phone. 152 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,499 {\an8}I only know this because he texted me from there. 153 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,583 {\an8}Prick. 154 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,627 {\an8}Well, you have fun in space, okay? 155 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,630 {\an8}Yeah, and call me when you splash down. 156 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,714 {\an8}If they ever do. 157 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,800 {\an8}Did we have a meeting scheduled for this morning? 158 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,760 {\an8}Oh, schedules. 159 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,387 {\an8}I mean, they are just so... 160 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,555 {\an8}- Necessary. - Helpful. 161 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:10,639 {\an8}Draconian. 162 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,725 {\an8}I mean, who likes to know where and when they need to be all the time? 163 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,018 {\an8}- Human beings. - We do. 164 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,979 {\an8}Oh. I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt. 165 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,146 {\an8}Didn't you? 166 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,400 {\an8}No. I mean, not for this long anyway. Please do continue. 167 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,902 {\an8}Where was I? Oh, we finally heard back from Rupert. 168 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,571 {\an8}- Did we? - Well, his lawyers. 169 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,532 {\an8}They deny knowing anything about people selling shares, 170 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,326 {\an8}but since then there's been a pause in the buying. 171 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,537 {\an8}Oh, because he's plotting his next move. 172 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,957 {\an8}Rupert may be unreliable and unfaithful, but he is not unpredictable. 173 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,003 {\an8}Yeah, if men were as clever as they think they are, they'd still be stupid. 174 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,881 {\an8}Well, as long as the Milk sisters don't sell their stake, 175 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,883 {\an8}you keep control no matter how many shares he buys. 176 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,843 {\an8}What's the deal with the Milk sisters? 177 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,554 {\an8}How come they got so much money? Did they invent milk? 178 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,306 {\an8}Yes, before them, cows were just in the way. 179 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,391 {\an8}We actually don't know the deal with them 180 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,143 {\an8}because I haven't been able to get hold of them. 181 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,853 {\an8}Which is a bit concerning, 182 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,271 {\an8}seeing as they've sold their shares before, 183 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,064 {\an8}- to Rupert, no less. - Mmm. 184 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,234 {\an8}Which they told me was a complete and utter mistake. 185 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:05,819 {\an8}Udder mistake. 186 00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,070 {\an8}So they got a sense of humor, yeah? 187 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,363 {\an8}- Not at all. - No, they haven't. 188 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,659 {\an8}- Please. - Let me through. 189 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,204 {\an8}- Hey, guys. - Hey, Coach. 190 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,039 {\an8}- Hey, Coach. - Y'all have a good Sunday? 191 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,291 {\an8}- No. - Oh, why? What happened? 192 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,918 {\an8}Yesterday there was an incident at our family's... 193 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,044 {\an8}- pig farm. - Pig farm. 194 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,838 {\an8}All the pigs are really smart, but there is this one that is an... 195 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,465 {\an8}- idiot, Oo Goobley. - Idiot. Oo Goobley. 196 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,592 - I'm sorry? - That's his name. 197 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,219 He's always awake when all the other pigs are asleep. 198 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,303 - He has insomnia. - He has insomnia. 199 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,722 So when we woke up and we didn't see him, we thought he'd run away. 200 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,807 And he's so dumb. Of course he ran away. So then we go to... 201 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,226 - Neighbor's house. Morag. - Morag. 202 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,769 She used to be our babysitter. She's got purple hair. 203 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,102 Listens to Norwegian death metal. 204 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,188 Because the thing is this pig 205 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,105 - loves music. - Loves music. 206 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,149 So we go to Morag's and we're yelling like, 207 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,526 - "Oo Goobley! Oo Goobley!" - "Oo Goobley! Oo Goobley!" 208 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,944 But he's not there. So then we go back to... 209 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,862 Follow his hoofprints, and they lead us to a well, 210 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,322 - and then we're thinking... - "Oh, no. 211 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,740 - He's in the well." - "He's in the well." 212 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,033 But there's no way he'd be able to fit. 213 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,117 He's our fattest pig. 214 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,410 But he's completely gone. So then we're like... 215 00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,579 - "He's been pig-napped!" - "He's been pig-napped!" 216 00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,290 So then we go to the market to get some sweets to make ourselves feel better, 217 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,960 - and who do we see? - Oo Goobley eating from a cheese wheel. 218 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,753 - It was Parmesan. His favorite. - His favorite. 219 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,089 So then we come back from the market with a pig 220 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,882 and an entire cheese wheel because we had to buy 221 00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,801 - the whole thing. - The whole thing. It was three kilograms. 222 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:11,885 It cost 150 quid. 223 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,394 Did all that really happen? 224 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,104 - Of course it did. - Yeah. 225 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,730 Unless we had the same dream. 226 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,482 - 'Cause that has happened before. - 'Cause that has happened before. 227 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,359 Mm-hmm. 228 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,528 Well, hey, I'm happy y'all found Oogly Boogly. 229 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,988 - Oo Goobley. First name Oo. - Oo Goobley. 230 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,114 Last name Goobley. 231 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,365 - Right. Yeah. - Thanks, Coach. 232 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,576 - See you in a bit. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 233 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,580 One sec. Just let me fix this. 234 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,081 Take your time. 235 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,165 Okay, go. 236 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,500 Should we start Shannon? 237 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,710 No. 238 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,044 - Good morning. - Morning. 239 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,713 Hey, have you guys noticed the whole 240 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,549 ESP mind meld thing that the twins got cooking? 241 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,217 When they're not beating the shit out of each other? 242 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:53,510 Yeah. 243 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,762 There was one day Siobhan burned her thumb on a tea kettle, 244 00:09:55,846 --> 00:10:00,267 and the next day Niamh had no fingerprint on the same thumb, completely smooth. 245 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,227 I don't believe that at all, but you know... 246 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,563 This chair is broken. Okay. 247 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,274 But how do we use their witchy ways to turn that there whiteboard 248 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,693 into a Ouija board, uh, football speaking? 249 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,278 We could do a diamond formation. 250 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,406 Oh, my God. 251 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,743 Sorry, I'm still getting used to it. Uh, what is a diamond formation? 252 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,953 You put one twin at the point of a diamond midfield 253 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,330 and the other twin directly behind her. 254 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,332 In theory, they would help us get the ball up the pitch, 255 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,750 meaning more chances in attack. 256 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,960 Because, yeah, when we have Gemma, we get more goals. 257 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,962 So without Gemma, we need more shots on goal. 258 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,048 Okay. Which one of the twins are we gonna put up front then? 259 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,176 Siobhan, she's older by three minutes, she's used to being out front, 260 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,178 meaning Niamh has more to prove, 261 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,388 so she'll put the ball exactly where Siobhan needs it. 262 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,057 I love it. Let's give it a shot. 263 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,268 Now, speaking of nonidentical twins. 264 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,187 Coach, these new? 265 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,773 Oh, these. 266 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:52,069 I was just in Camden Town yesterday, so I got myself a few piercings 267 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,987 from a deeply agnostic Satanist. 268 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,697 Hmm. Wait. A few piercings? 269 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,449 Yes, I have a door knocker on my butthole. 270 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,034 Hey, guys. What are you up to? 271 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,954 Are you figuring out what to do against Bristol? 272 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,455 - Yes. - Uh-oh. 273 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,500 Look who's coming off the bench 'cause her knee's all better. 274 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,210 - No, it's not. - It's Gemma Jay. 275 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,211 She runs onto the pitch. 276 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,295 The other team are like... 277 00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:13,006 - No. Oh, God. Stop it, stop it. - "Oh, no, she's back! We're doomed!" 278 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,508 Okay, now Richmond, they're ahead, 279 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,969 but Gemma Jay's lagging behind. 280 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,637 "Oh, no, did she come back too soon?" 281 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,806 - Stop it. Don't... - Nah, she's faking it. 282 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:21,723 She drives ahead. 283 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:24,017 - She shoots. She scores! - Don't touch the magnets. No. 284 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:27,855 No, not until Beaumont clears you. 285 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,648 Get out. Don't touch this again. 286 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,525 - It's an option. Okay. - Get out. 287 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,403 So thirsty. 288 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:42,452 Honestly, this shareholder stuff is driving me up the wall, 289 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:47,374 which is why I'm declaring this lunch a let-the-wine-flow zone. 290 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,917 - Mmm. - Hello, ladies. 291 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,460 - Hello again. - Nice to see you. 292 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,087 - Yes. - Would you care for something to drink? 293 00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:54,381 Yes, we would. Two glasses of Sancerre, please. 294 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,883 I'll just stick with water actually. 295 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,217 - Thanks. - Oh. 296 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,052 They were both for me anyway. 297 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,762 I'm joking. 298 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,515 And would you like yellowtail jalapeño to start as usual? 299 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:04,600 Oh. Perfect. 300 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:08,061 Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm-I'm not doing raw fish at the moment, so... 301 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,815 Do you know what, just, uh, give us a moment on the food. 302 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,484 We'll just have the water and the wine. Thank you. 303 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,528 - Thanks. - Both wines. Please. 304 00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:18,197 - Sounds good. - Thanks. 305 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,949 Are you... You're not? 306 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,913 - Are you? - I am. 307 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,874 - Whoa! - Whoa! 308 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:30,876 Have you been trying? 309 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:34,671 My pills started making me break out, so I've been a bit lax about taking it. 310 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:38,217 So instead of acne, I guess you're having a baby. 311 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,510 Yeah. 312 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,679 - Whoa. - Whoa. 313 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,517 I mean, this is not how I thought it was gonna happen. 314 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,726 - No. - And I've thought about 315 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,687 having a baby with Roy. Of course. Someday, you know? 316 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,232 But we just got back together like two seconds ago. 317 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,817 But I also am in the groove with work, finally. 318 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,320 And the team is all going so well, the girls are just kicking... 319 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,780 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 320 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,490 Are you happy? 321 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,617 Yeah. 322 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,536 I'm really happy. 323 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,164 Well, in that case... 324 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:15,087 - I'm so sorry. It's just... - Sorry. 325 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,631 Come here. 326 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,592 Oh, my gosh. 327 00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:23,720 I've just thrown all this baby stuff at you and it's really insensitive. 328 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,222 - I'm so sorry. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 329 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,182 No, no, not at all. 330 00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,769 Everything with Matthijs is wonderful, and Jelka is such a love. 331 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,605 My best friend just told me she's having a baby and I've got two wines on the go. 332 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,734 - It's all good. - Good. 333 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,778 Oh, have you told Roy? 334 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,406 Who? 335 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,532 No. 336 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,576 I wanted you to be the first person to know. 337 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,371 Well, that's an honor. 338 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,165 Cheers. 339 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,917 - Oh, that's bad luck. Here. - Oh, is it? 340 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,544 Yeah. 341 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,628 Here. 342 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,464 We're having a baby. 343 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,800 We're having a baby. 344 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,137 I love you. 345 00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:07,139 I love you. 346 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,808 - Oh, fuck. - Fucking shit, fuck. 347 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,977 - Fuck me! - Ow! 348 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:16,273 Ow. Ow, ow, ow. So... Fuck. 349 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,317 All right, let's see how this new formation works. 350 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,693 Mm-hmm. 351 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,320 Oh, nice touch. 352 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,282 Who the heck was that to? 353 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,828 - Whoa. - Where did she come from? 354 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,830 Ireland. 355 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:33,707 Yeah. 356 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,501 Top of the morning to all of us. 357 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,170 Nice play, Neom and Cinnabon! 358 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,423 Yep. 359 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,426 - Oh, my... - Oh, for fuck sake! 360 00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,386 You are so frustrating, Shannon, 361 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,431 because you could be so brilliant but you're just thinking too much. 362 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,725 And look, I get it. I'm the same. 363 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,685 I'm actually a brilliant dancer. 364 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:54,811 I'm just shit at choreography. 365 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,191 It is absolutely true. 366 00:15:02,778 --> 00:15:05,531 Listen, you're-you're too in here. 367 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,992 You just gotta bring it down here. 368 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,078 Yeah? 369 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,539 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right. 370 00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:14,623 Hey, come, come, come. 371 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,758 - Hey. - Hi. 372 00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:25,843 How are you doing? 373 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,929 Oh, nothing, I'm just googling high blood pressure. 374 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,931 Because I've got it, so I thought I would google it. 375 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,058 No, I said, "How are you doing?" 376 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,644 Oh. Sorry. Yeah. 377 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:37,896 - I'm good, thank you. - Good. 378 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:42,359 I do think that maybe I should stay home this weekend, take it easy. 379 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,778 Not go to the Bristol City game. 380 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:46,530 It's better to play it safe than sorry, right? 381 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,447 Yeah, 382 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:51,201 but aren't you worried the team won't do as well without all your screaming? 383 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,871 - Screaming? - Oh, cheering, cheering. 384 00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,080 That's better. 385 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,959 - Do you want dinner later? - Yes, please. 386 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,127 Okay. 387 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,211 Great. 388 00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:04,214 - I'll text you when I'm leaving, yeah? - Yeah. 389 00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:09,803 And uh, after we eat, I'm gonna make you cheer all night. 390 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,139 Toodles. 391 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,778 - Hey, Siri... - Mm-hmm? 392 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,197 Will I be a good mum? 393 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,699 I can't predict the future, Keeley. 394 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,911 However, my data shows that people who ask that question 395 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,787 tend to be good at parenting. 396 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,540 Thank you. 397 00:16:38,624 --> 00:16:39,625 You're welcome. 398 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,342 So are you guys gonna beat Bristol City or what? 399 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,511 Because they embarrassed you the last time, 400 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,971 - 6-nil. - Whoa, it was actually 5-nil. 401 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:55,891 Do you think correcting me makes it any less embarrassing? 402 00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,268 - No, ma'am. - We're gonna give it a shot, Mae. 403 00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,146 - You're gonna be there though, yeah? - I can't do it. 404 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:06,443 Two and a half hours is a long drive for someone with my, uh, level of seasoning. 405 00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:08,278 Oh, I hear you. Hey, you know what you could do? 406 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,946 You could roll with us on the team bus. 407 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,031 I wouldn't want to be a bother. 408 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,742 You love to be a bother. 409 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,036 - I do. - Yeah, okay. It's been decided. 410 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,704 We're gonna roll out the red and blue carpet, 411 00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:20,207 give you a little peek behind the curtain, show you how the sausage is made. 412 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,291 Like the time I took you in the back room 413 00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:24,502 and showed you how the sausage was actually made. 414 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,964 I don't have many regrets in life, but that is definitely one of them. 415 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,049 - Ah, I'd love to. Thank you, Ted. - Yeah? 416 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,927 - You got it. - But if you guys lose... 417 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,096 Yeah. No, I hear you. 418 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:25,689 Yes! 419 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,294 I just heard from Caroline, 420 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,172 - who just spoke to Dr. Beaumont. - And? 421 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,007 - Gemma's been cleared to play. - Hey! 422 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,300 All right, there we go. 423 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:54,384 Uh, does Gemma know yet? 424 00:18:58,597 --> 00:18:59,598 She knows. 425 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:01,934 Mm-hmm. 426 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,310 It seems like she knows. 427 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,235 - Hi. Morning. - Hiya. 428 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,403 - Morning, Kenneth. - Hi. 429 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,614 Can't wait to listen to those Pink Floyd bootlegs you got me. 430 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,950 All I got to do now is track down a reel-to-reel player. 431 00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,744 Or you could sleep with them under your pillow. 432 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,788 Always does the trick for me. 433 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,624 Yeah, no, I'll give that a try first. Thanks. 434 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,835 All right, y'all. Hey, let's listen up. 435 00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:30,921 We got a special guest riding over to Bristol with us today. 436 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,924 Please give it up for the one, the only, Mae Green. 437 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,386 - Come on! - Go on, Mae! 438 00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,137 - Excited to be tagging along. - Yeah. 439 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:43,141 Hey, let's make sure we show Mae a nice and respectful time, all right? 440 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,561 By all of us being on our best behavior. Yeah? 441 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:48,272 No, come on, Ted. 442 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,608 Not since I saw Shirley Bassey at the London Palladium 443 00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:54,736 in '73 have I been around so much energy and estrogen. 444 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,363 I want the full experience. 445 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,156 Hey, I've got that show on eight-track. 446 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,241 Uh, that's great, Kenneth. 447 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,285 Uh, hey, fine by me, y'all cut loose. 448 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,786 - Yeah! - Whoo! Come on! 449 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:05,622 Ooh! 450 00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,374 Oi, Mae, Mae, come and sit with us. 451 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,292 All right. 452 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,544 - Mae, I hope you're ready for this. - Why? 453 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,296 Yeah, we're about to grill you for three hours straight. 454 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,631 About everything you've ever seen, heard, lost, and learned in your life. 455 00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:15,924 Do your worst. 456 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,259 All right, guys. Everyone. 457 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,844 Uh, hello. I'm gonna take a picture. 458 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,262 - Ooh! - Yep. 459 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,555 Okay, smile. 460 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:24,725 - Great. - Wait, that's it? 461 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,809 You're gonna take one photo? 462 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,853 Well, I don't want to waste my memory. 463 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,272 Too tight to pay for iCloud storage. 464 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,607 - One photo? - Really? 465 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,530 - Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. - Hey. 466 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:41,450 You know, Rebecca, even without the Milk sisters selling, 467 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:44,286 someone could still get 49% of the shares. 468 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,330 Is this how we're saying hello now? 469 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:50,250 Sorry, I'll let you settle in, have a glass of wine. 470 00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,335 Merci. 471 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,171 Oh, is that sushi? 472 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,589 - On an aeroplane? - Yeah. 473 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:59,426 I love it when it's a little bit warm, 'cause it makes it easier to chew. 474 00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:02,346 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 475 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,140 You know, I'm gonna hit the loo before we take off. 476 00:21:05,224 --> 00:21:09,228 'Cause anybody else afraid of getting sucked into an airplane toilet 477 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,939 and spit out into the clouds? 478 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,149 No. 479 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,692 - Oh, it must be nice. - Mmm. 480 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:17,861 It really happens, you know? 481 00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:20,405 Happened to some bloke. Awful. 482 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,660 Why did I sit next to the toilet? 483 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:28,622 And so to the starting lineup for the visiting Richmond women, 484 00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,500 who will begin this match in a 4-4-2 diamond formation 485 00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:33,377 for the first time this season. 486 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,463 The tactical switch moves the Harrigan twins up into midfield. 487 00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:39,132 And you have to wonder if a change like this before 488 00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:43,846 {\an8}the biggest match of Richmond's inaugural season will be cohesive or chaotic. 489 00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:45,597 But there's good news for the traveling fans: 490 00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:48,684 Star striker Gemma Jay has been cleared to play 491 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:50,936 for the first time since her injury against Charlton. 492 00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,397 She'll be available off the bench, and there's no doubt 493 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,690 the fans will be... 494 00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,652 - Oh, what's this? - Lunch. 495 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:02,406 I'm here to keep you company and make sure you don't watch the match. 496 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:03,532 Rebecca's orders. 497 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,869 Naughty, naughty Keeley. 498 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:10,622 Good afternoon from Bristol in England's beautiful South West. 499 00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:12,833 Bristol's been around for over a thousand years, 500 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,544 and now the first-year Lady Greyhounds arrive 501 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:19,631 seeking the all-important promotion that would help ensure their own survival 502 00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,300 in this season-defining match. 503 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,593 All right, y'all. Here we go. 504 00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:25,470 Just like the acknowledgment section in the back of a book, 505 00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:26,930 it's all been building to this. 506 00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:31,018 Look, we know what's at stake today, so I ain't gonna prattle on and on about that 507 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:33,937 but if anybody's got something they wanna say, now's your time. 508 00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,856 - Yeah. - Let's go. 509 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,149 - Let's have it. - Yeah. 510 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:39,818 I feel you. All right. Mae, you wanna say something? 511 00:22:39,902 --> 00:22:41,820 Oh, no. I'm good. 512 00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:44,072 - Come on, Mae. - Come on, Mae. Come on. 513 00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:47,075 Okay. All right. 514 00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:50,287 Uh, so, listen, um, growing up, 515 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,248 all I wanted to do was be a footballer, 516 00:22:53,332 --> 00:22:56,293 but women weren't allowed to play officially. 517 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,045 You'd have been a professional, Mae, wouldn't you? 518 00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:00,547 No, I had a right foot like a rosebush. 519 00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:05,052 But my left, even worse. 520 00:23:06,637 --> 00:23:08,639 But you girls are different. 521 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,809 You're talented. You belong on that pitch. 522 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,312 And I love to see it. 523 00:23:17,189 --> 00:23:21,735 So go out there and make an old lady happy. 524 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:26,198 And beat the fucking shit out of them! 525 00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,121 All right, come on. Let's go. Everyone in. 526 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:37,000 Everybody in, yeah? 527 00:23:37,084 --> 00:23:38,293 - Go. Come on. - All right. 528 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,878 Richmond on three. 529 00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:40,921 One, two, three... 530 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,673 Richmond! 531 00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:45,801 Greyhounds, go! 532 00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:49,680 We welcome all of you out in the streamersphere to Ashton Gate Stadium, 533 00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:52,099 home of Bristol City WFC, 534 00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:57,229 as they welcome AFC Richmond Women for a season-defining match. 535 00:23:59,231 --> 00:24:00,566 - Ms. Welton... - Yes. 536 00:24:00,649 --> 00:24:02,943 Your guest, Mae Green, has requested to sit 537 00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:04,903 - in your supporters' section. - Oh. 538 00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:07,281 So we've had her switch seats with this woman. 539 00:24:08,407 --> 00:24:10,659 She appears to be normal... ish. 540 00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:13,620 - Is that all right? - Course, thank you. 541 00:24:15,414 --> 00:24:17,332 - Hmm. Hello, there. - Rebecca Welton. 542 00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:18,417 Suzi Campbell. 543 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,585 Pleasure to meet you. 544 00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:20,669 To meet all of you. 545 00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,671 - Mmm. - Okay. 546 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,090 Thanks, big guy. 547 00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,675 Here's a little something for you. 548 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:31,013 Used Kleenex. Lush. 549 00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,433 Yeah! 550 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,227 For Richmond, the stakes are clear, 551 00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:41,440 secure promotion today or risk heartbreak tomorrow. 552 00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:45,652 When you've got opportunity in your hands, it's important to hold on to it tight, 553 00:24:45,736 --> 00:24:48,655 like a lover who you know is about to leave you. 554 00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:49,823 We've all been there. 555 00:24:49,907 --> 00:24:53,285 Not like I have, Rebecca, not like I have. 556 00:24:53,368 --> 00:24:54,578 No one has... 557 00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:57,831 except Lily Allen. 558 00:24:57,915 --> 00:24:59,541 Ooh, shit. 559 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:03,253 Nina Simone, Patsy Cline, 560 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:05,255 Lucille Ball, 561 00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:06,673 the lads from Snow Patrol. 562 00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:08,550 We get the idea, Jill. 563 00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:12,221 I'm just watching porn. 564 00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:14,348 You're not meant to be watching the match. You have to stay calm. 565 00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:16,183 Roy, I am so calm. 566 00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,726 Mmm. 567 00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:20,687 I'm so cool and calm. 568 00:25:21,897 --> 00:25:23,732 Please, can I watch the match? I really wanna watch it. 569 00:25:23,815 --> 00:25:25,359 - It's so unfair. - Keeley. 570 00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:28,570 Roy, I wanna watch the match. Please, please, please. 571 00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:30,697 - Please, Roy. Please. - Okay. 572 00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:32,115 But... 573 00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:34,201 Still goalless in the early going. 574 00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:38,205 Quite the bold choice for Richmond to try a new tactic in such a huge match, 575 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,207 but they'll need more from this new formation. 576 00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:41,959 Come on, come on. 577 00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:49,508 Davis to El Sherif, who can't quite get there. 578 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:52,636 Oh, no, no. 579 00:25:58,141 --> 00:25:59,643 - Oh! - No! 580 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:02,062 The Robins of Bristol City draw first blood. 581 00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:04,773 But you have to think Quinn should've done better there, Jill. 582 00:26:04,857 --> 00:26:07,985 No one respects a goalie's quirks more than me. 583 00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:09,903 That's all they get today. Come on. 584 00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:13,949 But if Quinn had been wearing gloves, it would still be nil-nil. 585 00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:18,954 Well, like they all say, it is a game of fingertips, you know? 586 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,247 Literally no one says that. 587 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,832 - No one? - No. 588 00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:23,417 - I just came up with that? - Yeah. 589 00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:25,669 Oh, fuck this. 590 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:27,546 I'm getting four shots of Fireball. You want anything? 591 00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:33,719 She's a torture, that one. 592 00:26:34,845 --> 00:26:39,099 - Okay. Uh, Fuzzy Pencil... - It's a makeup brush, but carry on. 593 00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:42,394 Makeup Brush passes the ball up the field. 594 00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:43,687 Wait, who is the makeup brush? 595 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,648 - Gabi. Frosted tips. - Gabi. 596 00:26:46,732 --> 00:26:48,358 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 597 00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:54,114 Passes the ball towards, um, Squishy Eye Scissors. 598 00:26:54,198 --> 00:26:56,033 Roy, you have a sister. It shouldn't be that hard. 599 00:26:56,116 --> 00:26:57,117 Eyelash Curlers. 600 00:26:57,201 --> 00:26:59,578 Eyelash Curlers, moves the ball forward. 601 00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:01,914 - Yeah. - Now City. 602 00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:04,458 Ronnie to Gibbons. 603 00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:05,792 Acres of space. 604 00:27:05,876 --> 00:27:08,212 Ooh, broken up by Harrigan. No! 605 00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:10,506 Dispossessed! Conn finds Del Mio. 606 00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:11,924 Del Mio! 607 00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:16,303 What? 608 00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:20,724 2-nil. Richmond's in utter disarray as Quinn can only get a hand to it. 609 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,392 Are you broken? 610 00:27:24,186 --> 00:27:25,270 Ooh. 611 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:26,855 No, that is broken. 612 00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:28,649 All right, we're gonna need some offense now. 613 00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:30,108 Yeah. Attackers get warm. 614 00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:31,235 Come on! 615 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:37,574 Shannon, that's you too. Come on! 616 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:39,451 It's only 2-nil. 617 00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,578 And that's okay because, remember, 618 00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:43,956 nothing really matters in the grand scheme of things. 619 00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:47,376 Because we are just stardust floating in a void. 620 00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:48,710 Hmm. 621 00:27:48,794 --> 00:27:52,548 Richmond's season is on the brink. This may call for an early move. 622 00:27:52,631 --> 00:27:53,799 Who we gonna sub in? 623 00:27:54,466 --> 00:27:55,717 Gemma. 624 00:27:56,802 --> 00:27:58,220 - Yeah. Gemma. - Yeah, okay. 625 00:27:58,303 --> 00:27:59,513 Hey, Gemma Jay! 626 00:28:00,347 --> 00:28:02,057 - You're going in. Yeah. - Okay. 627 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:03,934 Oi, be careful out there. 628 00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:05,018 Listen to your body. 629 00:28:05,102 --> 00:28:07,312 If anything makes you uncomfortable, you can stop. 630 00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:10,274 It's a knee injury, I'm not losing my virginity. 631 00:28:10,858 --> 00:28:11,859 I'm trusting you. 632 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,530 - What's going on over there? - I guess Gemma's a virgin. 633 00:28:17,281 --> 00:28:19,616 It's the moment Richmond fans have waited for. 634 00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:22,160 Gemma! Gemma! Gemma! 635 00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:25,664 One minute of added time remains. 636 00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,791 Jenks finds Song. 637 00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:29,751 One touch to Jay, rampaging forward 638 00:28:29,835 --> 00:28:32,462 and she's brought down in the box! 639 00:28:33,714 --> 00:28:36,133 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! Yes! 640 00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:37,551 Here we go. It's a chance. 641 00:28:38,093 --> 00:28:39,303 Wait. Hold on a second, is she all right? 642 00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,680 But Richmond's worst nightmare, Gemma Jay is still down. 643 00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:44,266 Oh, I knew... I knew it. I knew this would happen. 644 00:28:47,936 --> 00:28:49,062 Fuck you. Behave. 645 00:28:50,189 --> 00:28:51,690 - You all right? You okay? - Yeah, yeah. 646 00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:52,774 Get up. 647 00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:54,443 Yes, fucking come on. Come on! 648 00:28:54,526 --> 00:28:57,738 Well, she's back on her feet. But is she still herself? 649 00:28:57,821 --> 00:28:59,865 Ted, I know you're trying to make me a more positive person, 650 00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:02,993 but let's face it, the world sucks fucking dick. 651 00:29:03,076 --> 00:29:04,203 - With teeth. - Amen. 652 00:29:04,286 --> 00:29:07,164 Oh. Okay, you two, why don't you cool your jets 653 00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:09,082 and let's see how the penalty turns out, please. 654 00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:12,085 First game back from injury, 655 00:29:12,169 --> 00:29:15,255 suffers a scary fall that could have been doomsday, 656 00:29:15,339 --> 00:29:17,925 and she's taking the penalty herself. 657 00:29:18,008 --> 00:29:20,719 That's toughness. That's grit. 658 00:29:23,555 --> 00:29:26,642 Scented Candle lines up to take the penalty kick, 659 00:29:26,725 --> 00:29:28,727 and everyone is really chill about it. 660 00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:33,607 - All eyes on Richmond's talisman. - Come on. 661 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:36,860 Can she fire her side back into this crucial match? 662 00:29:45,369 --> 00:29:47,579 She can! Of course she can. 663 00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:49,456 - It's 2-1. - Yes! 664 00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:51,875 - And everyone is calm. - Yeah. 665 00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:53,919 And no one is celebrating 'cause there's no need to. 666 00:29:54,002 --> 00:29:55,629 We can breathe about it. 667 00:29:55,712 --> 00:29:57,798 It's not a big deal. It's 2-1. 668 00:29:57,881 --> 00:29:59,299 It's only football. 669 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,051 Silly, silly football. 670 00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:07,099 This match was all Bristol 671 00:30:07,182 --> 00:30:08,934 - until Gemma Jay came along... - Yeah. Come on. 672 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:12,020 And since then Richmond have looked a different proposition altogether. 673 00:30:12,104 --> 00:30:13,814 They've been transformed. 674 00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:17,693 Like they stopped drinking and started doing Pilates three days a week. 675 00:30:18,277 --> 00:30:21,405 I need to sit down, recharge for the second half. 676 00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:24,116 That's a great idea. 677 00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:41,216 You are the man! You! 678 00:30:42,759 --> 00:30:44,511 - Great penalty. - Thanks. 679 00:30:44,595 --> 00:30:46,013 You shouldn't play the second half. 680 00:30:47,431 --> 00:30:48,473 I saw you limping. 681 00:30:50,184 --> 00:30:51,476 Look, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. 682 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,145 I'm not gonna tell Ted what to do. 683 00:30:55,981 --> 00:30:57,024 I felt a twinge. 684 00:30:58,483 --> 00:30:59,484 It hurts. 685 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:03,655 You're right, I should come out. 686 00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:07,034 But if we lose, I'll be fuming. 687 00:31:07,117 --> 00:31:08,535 I'll be fucking livid. 688 00:31:16,168 --> 00:31:17,169 Hey. 689 00:31:17,753 --> 00:31:19,129 Stop me if you've heard this one. 690 00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:23,258 What brings no benefit to the bee brings even less to the hive. 691 00:31:27,304 --> 00:31:29,640 I know you like to feel everything. 692 00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:32,392 But I want you to feel what it's like to get promoted. 693 00:31:47,908 --> 00:31:49,868 Buying a bra, huh? Nice. 694 00:31:53,038 --> 00:31:54,248 Let's go, Greyhounds! 695 00:31:57,084 --> 00:31:58,585 Hey, Shannon, uh, 696 00:31:58,669 --> 00:32:00,754 Gemma's gonna sit second half, so I'm gonna need your help. 697 00:32:00,838 --> 00:32:02,673 Oh, yeah, cheer her up on the bench? Sure. 698 00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:04,925 But just so you know, she's a lot. 699 00:32:05,008 --> 00:32:08,095 No, no, I'm gonna need you to go out there and help us win this game. 700 00:32:09,263 --> 00:32:11,473 Wait. Wait. I'm going in? 701 00:32:12,057 --> 00:32:13,225 Yes, ma'am. 702 00:32:17,771 --> 00:32:19,022 Well, now, hold on a second. 703 00:32:19,106 --> 00:32:20,148 You gotta take off all this junk. 704 00:32:20,232 --> 00:32:21,650 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Come on now. 705 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:23,569 All right, everybody, come on. Let's go, circle up. 706 00:32:23,652 --> 00:32:25,362 Bring it in. Bring it in. 707 00:32:25,445 --> 00:32:27,030 All right, we're only down one goal, 708 00:32:27,114 --> 00:32:29,950 so second verse is gonna be the same as the first, yeah? 709 00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:32,411 We're gonna do one thing different though, and that... 710 00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:36,748 - Ooh la la, look at this. Okay. - Okay! Boots! 711 00:32:36,832 --> 00:32:38,625 Sorry, we're gonna do two things different. 712 00:32:38,709 --> 00:32:40,043 Shannon, come on, get up here now. 713 00:32:40,127 --> 00:32:41,211 Come on now, let's go. 714 00:32:41,295 --> 00:32:42,212 I'm coming. 715 00:32:42,296 --> 00:32:44,173 The other one is, Shannon's gonna be starting the second half for us. 716 00:32:44,256 --> 00:32:47,634 - Come on! - Come on. All right. Let's go. 717 00:32:47,718 --> 00:32:49,511 Come on, Greyhounds on three. One, two, three. 718 00:32:49,595 --> 00:32:52,598 - Greyhounds! Come on! - Greyhounds! Yeah! 719 00:32:53,265 --> 00:32:56,393 - Congratulations. You got this. Come on. - Okay. 720 00:32:58,478 --> 00:32:59,813 Shannon, just... 721 00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:01,398 Remember... 722 00:33:04,693 --> 00:33:06,278 - You got this, go on. - Yes. Yes. 723 00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:47,361 A Richmond reshuffle for the second half. Gemma Jay cannot continue. 724 00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:51,073 She's replaced in the lineup by Shannon Stone, making her season debut. 725 00:33:51,156 --> 00:33:53,742 Richmond have all their chips on the table. 726 00:33:53,825 --> 00:33:55,369 Do they have an ace up their sleeve? 727 00:33:55,452 --> 00:33:57,496 Shannon, stop thinking. 728 00:33:57,579 --> 00:33:58,580 Okay, okay. 729 00:33:59,373 --> 00:34:01,416 Richmond have lost their defensive shape. 730 00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:03,126 This is dangerous here. 731 00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:05,587 Bristol. From long range. 732 00:34:05,671 --> 00:34:07,297 What a save from Quinn! 733 00:34:07,381 --> 00:34:08,422 Yes, Boots! 734 00:34:08,507 --> 00:34:09,632 Yeah! 735 00:34:11,092 --> 00:34:13,719 Yeah. 736 00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:17,808 And Quinn appears to be wearing... gloves? 737 00:34:18,433 --> 00:34:20,686 Oh, I get it. Right. 738 00:34:21,186 --> 00:34:23,230 - Yes. - El Sharif finds Harrigan 739 00:34:23,313 --> 00:34:24,398 on the edge of the box! 740 00:34:24,481 --> 00:34:28,527 Back heel to nowhere. Oh! Hang on! 741 00:34:28,610 --> 00:34:31,905 The other Harrigan! 742 00:34:32,697 --> 00:34:35,909 - The equalizer! It's 2-2! - Yes! 743 00:34:36,869 --> 00:34:38,161 Yes. 744 00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:40,246 Yeah! 745 00:34:40,330 --> 00:34:41,331 Come on! 746 00:34:43,208 --> 00:34:44,208 Yes. 747 00:34:44,293 --> 00:34:47,129 Really good teamwork from Rouge and Contour. 748 00:34:47,212 --> 00:34:48,964 Yes! Yes! 749 00:34:50,090 --> 00:34:53,342 We can be relaxed because that is 2-2, 750 00:34:53,427 --> 00:34:56,304 and the balance of the universe has been restored. 751 00:34:56,388 --> 00:34:59,433 There will be a minimum of four minutes' injury time. 752 00:34:59,516 --> 00:35:02,269 Stone with the intercept. She's been growing into this game. 753 00:35:03,645 --> 00:35:07,357 The Richmond attack in full flow now, and Harrigan is in. 754 00:35:09,234 --> 00:35:11,069 Cleaned out by the keeper. 755 00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:15,866 Loose ball into the box. 756 00:35:17,910 --> 00:35:19,828 Who's gonna get there first? 757 00:35:32,633 --> 00:35:33,884 - Yeah! - Yes! 758 00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:36,011 - Face Wash scored. - Oh! 759 00:35:37,763 --> 00:35:41,016 O Captain! My Captain! 760 00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:42,434 Lizzie Davis. 761 00:35:42,518 --> 00:35:45,812 The mother of two scores a mother of a goal 762 00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:49,858 to put Richmond on the brink of the Super League. 763 00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:54,404 Yeah! 764 00:35:54,488 --> 00:35:55,822 Yes! Yes! 765 00:35:55,906 --> 00:35:57,074 - Whoo! - Hey. 766 00:35:57,658 --> 00:35:59,451 All right, all right. Come on, let's focus. 767 00:35:59,535 --> 00:36:01,578 Settle up, switch on. Game's not over. 768 00:36:01,662 --> 00:36:04,164 Yeah! Yes! Oh! 769 00:36:04,665 --> 00:36:06,250 Oh, it's about the Milks. 770 00:36:06,333 --> 00:36:08,418 - I'm gonna take this. Okay, okay. - Take it. 771 00:36:11,255 --> 00:36:12,256 Whoo! 772 00:36:12,339 --> 00:36:13,674 Hey, okay. 773 00:36:13,757 --> 00:36:15,217 This had better be good news. 774 00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:17,427 I have found the Château de Milk. 775 00:36:18,887 --> 00:36:21,056 Hugo, you magnificent bastard. 776 00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:23,392 I'm so sorry for ever underestimating you, 777 00:36:23,475 --> 00:36:25,853 but it's only because I think so little of you. 778 00:36:25,936 --> 00:36:27,896 We've no time for your linguistic foreplay, 779 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:29,439 my wicked pussycat. 780 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,692 I need to know how high you're willing to go. 781 00:36:31,775 --> 00:36:33,068 Whatever it takes. 782 00:36:33,151 --> 00:36:35,279 Listen, you skinless hemorrhoid. 783 00:36:35,362 --> 00:36:38,615 If I get these shares, then I'll have majority control of the club, 784 00:36:38,699 --> 00:36:40,450 so don't fuck it up. 785 00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:46,373 Oh, God, that's the yellowtail. 786 00:36:46,915 --> 00:36:49,334 Oh. Ooh. 787 00:36:52,713 --> 00:36:55,174 My apologies. 788 00:36:55,716 --> 00:36:56,717 That was God. 789 00:36:57,509 --> 00:36:59,428 I was just letting him know 790 00:36:59,511 --> 00:37:02,806 that I'd found two of his most gorgeous angels. 791 00:37:06,643 --> 00:37:08,854 Richmond need to stay frosty here. 792 00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:10,606 One slip and all is lost. 793 00:37:10,689 --> 00:37:12,065 And there is your slip. 794 00:37:12,816 --> 00:37:15,444 Bristol are still alive. The cross goes in. 795 00:37:18,530 --> 00:37:21,575 Boots Quinn with a one-handed save. 796 00:37:21,658 --> 00:37:23,076 - Go on, Boots! - And she made it look easy. 797 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,245 Isn't it mad what gloves can do? 798 00:37:25,329 --> 00:37:27,664 But surely she'll stay down to run out some clock? 799 00:37:27,748 --> 00:37:29,041 What is she thinking? 800 00:37:34,796 --> 00:37:37,216 Quinn thumps it up the pitch to Stone. 801 00:37:37,716 --> 00:37:39,092 Show 'em, Stoney. 802 00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:45,516 She's got one defender to beat! 803 00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:53,357 Oh! She's won it for Richmond! 804 00:37:54,983 --> 00:37:55,859 Yeah! 805 00:37:58,362 --> 00:37:59,321 Keeley! 806 00:37:59,404 --> 00:38:01,240 I lied, football does matter! 807 00:38:01,323 --> 00:38:04,952 It's the most important thing in the world, and you did it. You did it, babe. 808 00:38:05,035 --> 00:38:08,372 This is incredible. I-I-I gotta go call my wife and my bookie! 809 00:38:08,455 --> 00:38:10,457 Oh, well done. 810 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,794 Oh, man! 811 00:38:14,378 --> 00:38:18,423 Improbably, dramatically, incredibly... 812 00:38:18,507 --> 00:38:20,133 Richmond have done it. 813 00:38:20,217 --> 00:38:22,094 Welcome to the Super League. 814 00:38:22,177 --> 00:38:23,637 Help! Come on! 815 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:26,932 Shannon Stone. She'll be returning home a hero. 816 00:38:27,015 --> 00:38:30,769 Incredible. This is why football's the best sport in the world. 817 00:38:30,853 --> 00:38:32,479 {\an8}Madam? Madam? 818 00:38:33,397 --> 00:38:34,857 Keeley would have loved this. 819 00:38:34,940 --> 00:38:36,358 You know what else she'll love? 820 00:38:36,441 --> 00:38:38,735 When we move the last match of the season to Nelson Road... 821 00:38:38,819 --> 00:38:41,989 - Yes. - And fill the whole fucking place. 822 00:38:47,452 --> 00:38:49,037 Great game, Shower Gel. 823 00:38:49,121 --> 00:38:50,289 I knew you had it in you. 824 00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:53,542 And you, Weird Shoe, perfect goal. 825 00:38:54,251 --> 00:38:59,923 And you two, Rouge and Contour, great teamwork despite your differences. 826 00:39:00,007 --> 00:39:02,176 "She was shite. I was grand." 827 00:39:02,259 --> 00:39:04,553 "Don't be a bastard, you little shite." 828 00:39:04,636 --> 00:39:05,971 Stop it, you two. 829 00:39:06,054 --> 00:39:09,850 You're both very powerful face coloring things. 830 00:39:11,476 --> 00:39:12,477 And you... 831 00:39:13,061 --> 00:39:15,063 - Mmm. - What's wrong? 832 00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:17,733 Nothing. 833 00:39:17,816 --> 00:39:19,193 Okay. 834 00:39:19,276 --> 00:39:21,653 - You've got to be yourself. - But why not, just for a minute... 835 00:39:21,737 --> 00:39:23,447 - Of course. - Excuse me, I... 836 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:24,656 I'm sorry to interrupt. 837 00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:27,326 But there's been an incident. 838 00:39:27,409 --> 00:39:28,744 Oh, what is it? 839 00:39:30,204 --> 00:39:32,039 It's Ms. Green. 840 00:39:36,376 --> 00:39:37,878 Can I tell you something? 841 00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:39,379 Yeah, of course. 842 00:39:54,853 --> 00:39:57,397 That's the best fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. 843 00:40:12,913 --> 00:40:15,999 We are going up! Say we are going up! 844 00:40:32,182 --> 00:40:35,185 We are going up! Say we are going up! 845 00:40:39,022 --> 00:40:41,984 We are going up! Say we are going up! 846 00:41:05,799 --> 00:41:07,217 Hey, what you doing? 847 00:41:07,301 --> 00:41:09,386 Get in here and celebrate with us. 848 00:41:12,264 --> 00:41:13,265 What's wrong?