1 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,540 We're here live at the KOZY 102.1 Hallween Haunt at the South Park docks! 2 00:00:39,575 --> 00:00:41,315 Come on down! We've got a haunted house 3 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,533 and everyone is decorating for tomorrow night, HALLOWEEN, 4 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,360 when the band KoRn, that's right, KoRn, is going to play live! 5 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,360 And don't forget to wear a costume tomorrow, 6 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,800 because there's a big first prize! 7 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,000 Why, here's some kids enjoying the Halloween Haunt now! 8 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:56,080 Say boys, what do you think of KOZY-FM's Halloween Haunt so far? 9 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,760 This one time, like eight months ago, I saw two guys kissing in a park. 10 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,200 And that was the gayest thing I'd ever seen, until I saw the KOZY-FM Halloween Haunt. 11 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,040 Uh-hall right! Well, enjoy the spooky docks, kids. 12 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,600 Hey you guys! You know what time of year it is? - Of course, dumbass, it's Halloween. 13 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,680 That's right, and that means only two more months till Christmas! 14 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,400 You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry... 15 00:01:15,435 --> 00:01:16,005 Christmas? 16 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,280 Christmastime is presents for me. 17 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:23,000 Aw, nuts! Come on, Ned, this ain't no whore house, it's a hor-ROR house. 18 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,240 - Spooky Laboratory, you guys. - Those things are stupid, Cartman. 19 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,200 They just stick your hand in cold spaghetti and tell you it's intestines and stuff. 20 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,200 Well, I'm going to Spooky Laboratory! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells… 21 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,960 Welcome to Spooky Laboratory. 22 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,840 I'm your guide, Dr. Spookalot. Allow me to show around the lab. - Cool! 23 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,080 Here I have a bowl of human eyeballs. 24 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,560 - And here you can feel the brains. - Oh-HO, grohoss. 25 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,040 And here you can feel the warm innards of the body 26 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,520 Eewww, it feels like cold spaghetti! You guys, it feels like cold spaghetti! 27 00:01:55,521 --> 00:01:57,121 You guys, I'm gonna try and win that costume contest! 28 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,354 Give it up, Kenny! You're not gonna win that costume contest! 29 00:01:59,355 --> 00:02:00,355 Your costumes always suck. 30 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,560 We scared you, chickens! 31 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,520 - W-we weren't scared! - Oh no? Well, you should be! 32 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,400 - The pirate ghosts are gonna come getcha! - The what? 33 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,920 Didn't you know? There's an old legend in South Park 34 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,080 that says these docks are haunted by pirate ghosts. 35 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,000 They roam these docks with their swords and hook-hands 36 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,720 looking for victims to cut up! 37 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,600 That's just an old legend. 38 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,600 Gotcha again. 39 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,200 Just wait till tomorrow! We're gonna scare you kids to death! 40 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,640 You guys, my hand totally smells like spaghetti now. Smell it. 41 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,613 I'm sick of those fifth graders scaring us all the time! 42 00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:40,914 We should come up with a way to scare them! 43 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,240 Yeah! Let's see how they like it! 44 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,800 Joining me now is Father Maxi, from the South Park Church. 45 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,400 Father, what do you think of all the preparations here at the docks? 46 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,840 Halloween is an abomination of God! 47 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,680 A celebration of the occult-eh! 48 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,760 Yeah, and how about KoRn playing the big concert tomorrow? Pretty exciting, huh? 49 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,360 KoRn is a devil-worshipping group that plays violent music! 50 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,800 If we allow that demon band to play on this most unholy of holidays, 51 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,000 we may incur the full wrath of evil! 52 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,160 Alright, we'll see you tomorrow for Halloween! 53 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,920 In the meantime here's a KOZY hit by Barry Manilow. 54 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,866 Come on, you guys, think! How can we scare the fifth graders? 55 00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,667 It has to be something reeaally scary. 56 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,840 We could get a big scary plastic spider, and dangle it in front of them on a string… 57 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,640 spooky spider, that's pretty scary. 58 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,800 That's not scary, fatass! 59 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,000 Well, come on! We can think of something better than stupid pirate ghosts! 60 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,120 - Are you sure we're goin' the right way? - I don't know. 61 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,560 This map doesn't make any sense. 62 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,040 That's because you've got it upside down, chowderhead! 63 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,080 When are we gonna get to the gig? I'm starving. 64 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,080 Don't think about it. We'll just keep playing our game. Raady? 65 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,920 I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter T! 66 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,760 I know! A t-ree! 67 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,960 You've got it. I spy with my little eye 68 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,160 something that begins with the letter R. 69 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,160 - A road? - That's it! 70 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,280 Okay, here's one. 71 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,200 I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter P. 72 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,280 - The letter P? - What the heck starts with the letter P? 73 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,800 Pirate ghosts! 74 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,800 Mom! You got the new Duffy's catalog! 75 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,320 I-I'm gonna circle everything I want for Christmas, okay? 76 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,560 Mom? Okay? 77 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:39,200 O-kay, let's see. I waant… thiis… aand… this… 78 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,892 Eric, your little friends are here. 79 00:04:49,893 --> 00:04:51,493 Mom, mom! You wanna see what I want for Christmas? 80 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,040 E-heric, it's only Halloween. 81 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,320 That's only 72 shopping days left for you! 82 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,960 - Come on, fatass, we have to go! - Ey! Don't call me fat! 83 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,960 - Mom, don't laugh. - I'm sorry, hon. 84 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,880 - I can't go with you guys right now. - Yes you can, porky. 85 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,640 Mom, seriously! 86 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,800 Oh, that's not funny, boys. Eric isn't fat, his big-boned. 87 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,480 He must have a huge bone in his ass, then. 88 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:14,800 God-damnit, mom! 89 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,520 God, I hate you guys! 90 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,280 Okay, so we figured out how to scare the fifth graders. 91 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,080 - How? - What's the scariest thing we could get? 92 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,800 - Spooky spider? - No! A dead body. 93 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,120 Yeah, fatass, a dead body. 94 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,880 You mean, we make something that looks like a dead body? 95 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,497 We could never make one that looks real enough. 96 00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:29,798 To be really scary, it would have to be real. 97 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,720 Yeah, fatass, it has to be real to be scary! 98 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,200 So where the hell are we going to get a dead body? 99 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,000 We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead grandma. 100 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,920 Yeah, fatass, we're goona dig up... 101 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,520 Dig up Kyle's dead grandma? 102 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,360 Dude, she's perfect. She only died, like, three months ago, right? - Are you insane?! 103 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,080 Hi think that's a sweet idea! 104 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,960 Dude! We'er not digging up my grandma; I'll get in trouble. 105 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,880 All we have to do is sneak in the graveyard, dig her up, 106 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,240 scare the fifth graders, then put her back before anyone notices she's gone. 107 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,280 - Naww, let's dig up somebody else. - Relax, dude. What's the big deal? 108 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,021 Think about it: if your grandma knew that she could help you, 109 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,522 even in death, she would want to. 110 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,000 This is gonna be fun! 111 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,040 Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-in', ring ting tingle-in' too. 112 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,520 Outside it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you, and you, and you. 113 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,252 Cartman, will you stop singing Christmas carols? 114 00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:12,026 We have to be quiet, or else we're gonna get busted! 115 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,480 This must be it. 116 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,000 Cleo Broflovski. 117 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,400 That's my grandma. 118 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,840 - Well, let's dig 'er up! - Wait. I don't know if this is cool. 119 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,825 Of course it's cool! She's gonna be all rotted and scary! 120 00:06:21,826 --> 00:06:23,526 I don't think my mom would want me doin' this. 121 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,120 "I don't wanna dig up my dead grandma 'cause I'm such a goody-two-shoes!" 122 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,680 You guys be quiet! Now, do you wanna get back at the fifth graders or not?! 123 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,200 - I don't really care, dude. - Yes you do! Now, dig! 124 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,920 Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling, "You-hoo"… 125 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,840 Okay. It's almost open. Ready? One, two, three! 126 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,320 - Whoa, dude. - Oh, my God. 127 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,000 Hi… Grandma. 128 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,240 Hi, Kyle. 129 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,320 Have you been a good boy, Kyle? Have you been making Grandma proud? 130 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,840 - Damnit, Cartman, that's not funny! - Eheh, yes, it ihis, heh. 131 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Heh heh, I'm sweet. 132 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,280 Alright, alright, let's get this over with so we can put her back! 133 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,800 Okay, grab the sled. 134 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,240 Silver Bells, Silver Bells, it's Christmas time in the city… 135 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,156 Okay. Let's just hide her here, and tomorrow, during the Halloween party 136 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:23,040 we'll come back in our costumes and use her to scare the fifth graders. 137 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,800 How exactly are we gonna use her to scare them? 138 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,400 We could shove a stick up her ass and use her like a puppet! 139 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,920 I'm scary Grandma! 140 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,275 Alright, that does it, Cartman! That's my grandma! 141 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,176 You show her some God-damned respect! 142 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,800 - Who was that? - Cartman?! - It wasn't me! 143 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,400 Dude, not cool. This is scary. 144 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,080 Hey! Like, it's just some kids. 145 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,640 I was really scared there, for a second. 146 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:48,960 Hay, you're that band KoRn. 147 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,360 Yeah. I'm Jonathan, and this is Munky, David, Fieldy, and Head. 148 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,480 And over there is our pal, Nibblet. Hey, where'd Nibblet go? 149 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,960 Nibblet likes potato chips. 150 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,720 Nibblet! 151 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,640 What are you guys doing out here? 152 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,088 We were just driving our van when all of a sudden we were run off the 153 00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:06,549 road by some super-spooky pirate ghosts. 154 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,120 Aw, dude, that was just the fifth graders. 155 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,320 Yeah. They're tryin' to scare everybody 'cause they're gay wads. 156 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:11,600 Don't worry. We're about to go get 'em back. 157 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,720 Oh, swell. We're supposed to play here tomorrow. Do you know where the stage is? 158 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,200 - Yeah, dude. It's right over there. - O-kay! 159 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,200 Oh, hi. We're KoRn. We're supposed to play the Halloween concert tomorrow. 160 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,680 I know who you are and what you stand for! 161 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,080 I think your music and Halloweenn is an abomination! 162 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,040 Groovy! Could you show us where to set up? 163 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,520 Alright, let's just set her over here behind these boxes. 164 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,520 Shouldn't we hide her better than that? - Kyle, will you stop worrying? God! 165 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,165 Now, we'll all be back here tomorrow with our costumes, and then, 166 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,400 when the Halloween party gets going, we'll bust out dead Grandma! Let's go! 167 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,880 Wait till you guys see my costume! It's gonan be sweet! 168 00:08:40,881 --> 00:08:42,381 Mine is so fuckin' badass it's gotta win now! 169 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,555 Oh, come on, Kenny! You never have a sweet costume! 170 00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:46,056 You're not gonna win the costume contest! 171 00:08:46,057 --> 00:08:48,184 Yes I am! I've got the costume; it's waiting in the house! 172 00:08:48,185 --> 00:08:51,885 Yesterday I got this huge package in the mail, and it was big, okay? 173 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,080 Hold on, kids. 174 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,480 Mrs. Broflovski? 175 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,400 We're from Mt. Peaceful Cemetery. Could we have a word with you? 176 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,160 Eehh, sure, come in. 177 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:13,880 What is it? 178 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,960 Ms. Broflovski… somebody has defiled your mother's grave. 179 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,000 Defiled? How? 180 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,800 Well, I'm afraid that… somebody dug her up. 181 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,040 Dug her up? Why? 182 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,320 Well. The most likely reason is that… 183 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,240 somebody wanted to have sex with her dead body. 184 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,560 We don't want to upset you, but it happens. 185 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,400 Somebody's probably making love to her corpse as we speak. 186 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,640 Every vile position, every disrespectful act imaginable. 187 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,840 Hoh, dear God! 188 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,280 Yes. By now he's probably even removed her eyes 189 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,320 and made love to the empty sockets as well. 190 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,247 No, we don't want to upset you, but you should know 191 00:09:46,248 --> 00:09:48,048 that your mother's body would be stiff and dry, 192 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,993 so he would have to have it soaked in warm water 193 00:09:49,994 --> 00:09:51,994 for several hours before making love to it. 194 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,280 - Yes. And, now for the difficult part. - Brace yourself. 195 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,320 It is highly possible that he has created new orifices in her decomposing flesh, 196 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,560 leaving her to look something like an over loved hunk of Swiss cheese. She probably... 197 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,520 Okay, okay! I get the point! Just tell me what you're gonna do about it! 198 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,560 - Do? - Oh, we don't do anything. We're just the watchmen. 199 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,120 Yeah, I guess, maybe, you might wanna call the police or something. 200 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,800 Now, he probably would make love to the dead body in a cool dry place, 201 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,920 so as not to allow further decomposition. 202 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,000 Package delivery for Mrs. Cartman? 203 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,920 A package? Oh, really? 204 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,200 Well, I think I can sign for that! 205 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,880 Sign heah, and heah, and heah. 206 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,840 I got a Christmas present! I got a Christmas present! 207 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,280 Maybe I can see what it is. I'll just open one little corner. 208 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,960 That's good, I'll rewrap it later! 209 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:48,400 Oh, sweet! Life-sized blow-up Antonio Banderas love doll! 210 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,680 With realistic geni-ta-lia. 211 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,520 Oh, this kicks ass! What a cool Christmas present my mom got! 212 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,200 It's Halloween day, so come on down to the docks and bring your costumes! 213 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,600 Where's Kenny? He said he had the best Halloween costume ever. 214 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,720 Guess wha-at I got? Antonio Banderas blow-up doll. 215 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,360 You guys didn't get one. 216 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,520 Where's your costume, fatass? 217 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,080 Screw Halloween, I already got my Christmas present! 218 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,902 In a few days I'll wrap it back up, and then when I open it on Christmas, 219 00:11:14,903 --> 00:11:16,003 I'll act all, like, surprised, like: 220 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,640 "Oh Mother, Antonio Banderas life-sized blow-up doll! What a surprise!" 221 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,160 Hey, Kenny. 222 00:11:28,161 --> 00:11:30,061 Hey, guys. Uh, check out this kick-ass cool costume. 223 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,600 U-huh, nice costume, Kenny. If you think you're gonna win with that, huh! 224 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,854 Alright. The fifth graders are gonna be here soon. Let's get Kyle's grandma! 225 00:11:34,855 --> 00:11:37,555 This is gonna be sweet! 226 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,920 - Uuh, problem, guys. - What's the problem? 227 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,120 - Nno Grandma. - No Grandma? 228 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,440 - Nno Grandma. - She's not here! - She has to be here! 229 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,720 Well, she's not here! That's just great! 230 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,000 Thanks a lot, Stan! You're gonna get me busted again! 231 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,520 Okay, people. I know we all want to get down to the docks for the Halloween Haunt 232 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,800 but first we just need to inform you about thee people or persons out there 233 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,960 digging up bodies to have sex with them. Gentlemen? 234 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,840 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 235 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:06,040 A person who steals bodies to have sex with them is called a necrophiliac. 236 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,600 So that you all know what to expect, my partner Alan has draw a sketch 237 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,160 of what having sex with a dead body might look like. 238 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,840 Yes, we know it's horrible. It's probably best you not look at it. 239 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,960 Now, Alan will demostrate what having sex with a dead body might sound like. 240 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,400 Excuse me, how is this helping? 241 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:35,040 That's it, folks. Now, we can all go to the docks and enjoy the Halloween Haunt. 242 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,640 Noo! Don't go to the docks! 243 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,360 I'm Captain Bly! 244 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,864 You land-lubbers had better stay away from the docks! 245 00:12:43,865 --> 00:12:46,465 Or else, there'll be hell to pay! 246 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,240 Fire the cannon! 247 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,800 We won't warn ya again! Stay away from our docks! 248 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,560 I warned you! I told you this would happen! 249 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,800 When you allow bands like KoRn to come to town 250 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,200 and play your hedonistic Hallowen concerts, this is what you get! 251 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,240 Great rehearsal, gang. That was really groovy. 252 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,080 Let's practice one more time before the show starts. 253 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:26,000 Guys, I'm sorry, but the Halloween Haunt's been cancelled. - Cancelled? 254 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,480 You best clear out of here! There's pirate ghosts, and they'll kill you. 255 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,120 Well gang, it looks like we have to pack it up. 256 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,680 God-damnit! Now, what the hell are we gonna do?! 257 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,720 Oh, hey! The kids from last night. 258 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,500 Wow! Is that the Antonio Banderas life-sized blow-up doll? 259 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Hey, Kenny. 260 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,800 Say, what's the matter? You kids look kind of glum. 261 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,000 - Somebody took my dead grandma. - What? 262 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,900 We dug her up 'cause we wanted to scare the fifth graders, 263 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,401 but then, something took her body away. 264 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,280 Now she's doomed to walk the earth in limbo. 265 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,600 Aw, I hate to see little clowns cry. 266 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,040 Well, that does it. Somethin' funny is going on here. 267 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,320 Your missing grandma must be connected somehow to those creepy pirate ghosts. 268 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,560 They're not pirate ghosts, Jonathan, they're ghost pirates. 269 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,600 "Pirate ghost" would suggest that a pirate died, and became a ghost, 270 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,360 but a ghost pirate is a ghost that later made a conscious decision to be a pirate. 271 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,640 No, David. Then they are pirate ghosts, because they're the ghosts of pirates. 272 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,560 You're wrong, because there were no pirates in Colorado. 273 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,440 So these must be ghosts that have decided to become pirates after the fact. 274 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,000 - But that makes them pirate ghosts. - No. It makes them ghost pirates. 275 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,480 Guys! Guys! Guys! Fighting isn't gonna solve anything. 276 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,880 Don't you see? This is exactly what those ghost pirates want us to do. 277 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:35,840 Pirate ghosts. 278 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,080 Then, you'll help us? 279 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,680 Sure, we'll help you. If there's one thing we like more than playing music, 280 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,360 it's solvin' a groovy mystery. 281 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,320 Al-right! 282 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,760 Is everybody okay? 283 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,360 People stealing bodies to have sex with them? Pirate ghosts destroying the town? 284 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,160 When did everything go so wrong? 285 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,885 I hate to say it, but I think Priest Maxi was right. This is what we get 286 00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:57,640 for celebrating Halloween and allowing that band KoRn to come play. 287 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:02,160 He's right! Nothin' ever went wrong in this town before that evil KoRn band showed up. 288 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,200 Well, I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town! 289 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,560 Lynch mob! 290 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,760 So this is where you last saw your dead grandma? 291 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,200 Right. Maybe there really are pirate ghosts and they took her inside. 292 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,800 Alright, gang, we have to split up and look for clues. 293 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,640 How should we split up? 294 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,574 I know. Let's have everyone who enjoys having obstacles in their life, 295 00:15:25,575 --> 00:15:27,075 which they can overcome, go this way, 296 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,179 and everyone whose insecurities sabotage 297 00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,780 their potential to overcome those obstacles go that way. 298 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,600 Okay! 299 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,200 Wow! That was easy. 300 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,680 Here's their van! Here's their van! 301 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,800 - Let's flip it over! - Okay, people, let's try to stay orderly. 302 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,360 The best way to do this is, all get on one side and push it from the top. 303 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,680 Devil woshippers! 304 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,040 Come on, they gotta be around here somewhere! 305 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,280 This place gives me the creeps. 306 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,840 Say, this looks like a clue. 307 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,520 "Pirate Lore of South Park". 308 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,400 Now, why would pirate ghosts need a book on pirates? 309 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:04,680 Whoa. What was that? 310 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,760 The noise came from in here. Stay close, everybody! 311 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,400 Oh, no! I lost my glasses. 312 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,320 What does this dead grandma look like? 313 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,240 Uh, she was all, like, crunchy and crispy and stuff. 314 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,920 Hey, I got an idea. We should set a groovy trap. 315 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,000 Good idea. 316 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,400 How do we trap a bunch of pirate ghosts? 317 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,800 We need something that might catch their eye to use as bait. I know! 318 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,960 Your Antonio Banderas love doll. 319 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,849 Oh, no! This is my Christmas present! 320 00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:30,750 If anything happens to it, my mom will know I opened it early! 321 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,800 Come on, kid. We all have to do our part, even Antonio. 322 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,000 My glasses gotta be around here somewhere. 323 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,600 Is that you, Jonathan? Boy, I'm glad to see you. I lost my glasses. 324 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,400 Hey, you got a cold, Jonathan? 325 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,640 Yeah, that sounds like a groovy song, man! Remember that one! 326 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,680 Fieldy, what are you doing?! 327 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,560 Oh, I was talking to you, Jonathan. 328 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,800 Hey, wait a minute. 329 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,160 If you're over there, then how could you be over here? Unless you're actually a… 330 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,360 Puh-puuhh pirate ghost! 331 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,440 Okay. Here's how the trap will work. 332 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,880 When the pirate ghosts walk in, they should go right for Antonio Banderas. 333 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,200 When they hit the super-slippery floor, they'll slide onto this mining cart, 334 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,520 which should travel down this path, into the next room, 335 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,680 where the fish net will fall on them. 336 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,240 Wow, cool! - Hey! Somebody's coming. 337 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,040 We've got to hide! 338 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,900 Hey, there's Antonio Banderas! He'll help us. 339 00:17:21,935 --> 00:17:22,900 Jonathan, no! 340 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,400 Hold on, guys! 341 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,400 lright, KoRn, time for you to get out of town! 342 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,200 KoRn is sending their demon minions upon us! 343 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,840 Alright, gang. Looks like we're gonna have to use our special KoRn powers. 344 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,800 KoRn powers, vitalize! 345 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,440 Form of… CORN! 346 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,200 Alright! Great job, gang! 347 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,800 - That didn't help at all. - We know. It's just cool to do. 348 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,560 Nibblet! 349 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,080 What the hell is that thing? 350 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,800 You did it, Nibblet! You trapped them! 351 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,640 Yeah. And now let's see who these pirate ghosts really are! 352 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,120 Oh, I guess they really were pirate ghosts. 353 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:35,600 Alright, KoRn, you can stop your demonic shenanigans and come downtown with me! 354 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,560 Hehey, look what Nibblet sees. 355 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,200 - What the…? - Fr. Maxi? 356 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,480 Well, what are you waiting for, Barbrady?! Arrest that band! 357 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,000 No! Arrest him! 358 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,440 I think I've got this groovy mystery solved! 359 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,720 Well, I must say I still don't get this at all. 360 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,040 It's simple. Priest Maxi didn't want there to be a Halloween, 361 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,280 so he decided to scare everyone away from the docks. 362 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,480 Yeah. And then he used this flashlight and some cotton swabs to create the ghosts. 363 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:08,760 Then all he needed was some sound effects created by this cup and a piece of cheese. 364 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,760 And all he had to do then was create a ghost ship, 365 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,240 by using some candles, a mirror, and two squirrels. 366 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,800 Father, why did you go to all this trouble? 367 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,240 Because Halloween is an abomination of God. 368 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,400 I would do anything to stop this wretched, unholy holiday! 369 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,440 Including killing people and wreaking havoc all over South Park? 370 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,749 Don't you see that by trying to stop Halloween 371 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:32,965 you've scared the hell out of everybody? - No. 372 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680 Okay buddy, you can explain downtown! 373 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,318 Well, this is all fine and good, 374 00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:39,319 but it doesn't explain what happened to my mother's body! 375 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,440 Yeah! Where's Grandma? 376 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,040 There she is! 377 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,880 Well thanks a lot, KoRn! You KoRn powers really came through for us! 378 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,120 Yes! We were wrong about you. Will you please play for our Halloween party? 379 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,460 Well, sure. Why the heck not? - All right! 380 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,480 Oh, no! The pirate ghosts are back! 381 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,960 Nibblet! 382 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,960 Well, this sure has been a wacky night, 383 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,160 but me and the gang learned a lot, and we hope you did too. 384 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,560 You all perceived us to be mean, evil people, 385 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,120 but, really, we're just normal guys. And we all 386 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,720 perceived pirate ghosts to be real when, actually, they were just cotton swabs. 387 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,226 So I guess the lesson is: 388 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,527 it's easy to perceive somethin' someway, and then be wrong. 389 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,880 So we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive. 390 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,720 The gang and I wrote a song about it, and it goes goes a little somethin' like this: 391 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,200 And a-one, and-a-two, and a... 392 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,880 Sweet! 393 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,560 Antonio, no! 394 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,480 You son of a bitch chicken from outer space thing, come back here! 395 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,040 And the winner of the costume contest is: 396 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,280 Wendy, for her Chewbacca costume! 397 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,440 Come on up, Wendy. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net