1
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,256
How many stars
sparkle in the sky?
2
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,092
Ever tried counting them?
3
00:01:55,549 --> 00:02:03,024
It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy alone
4
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,662
How many such galaxies exist?
5
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,700
Scientists reckon
two billion more
6
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:15,442
Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodies
7
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:19,206
a planet with people
like us exists?
8
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:23,316
As we explore space
looking for them,
9
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:28,026
couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?
10
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:33,502
Hindi pop SONG
11
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:22,051
What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship
12
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,719
Without this remote
he could not return home
13
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:30,498
He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here
14
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,695
Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...
15
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,072
.. how will I return home?
16
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:04,964
On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame
17
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:11,033
In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist
18
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,274
But on a beautiful bend
19
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,309
A stranger may we meet
20
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:20,542
Life after fife
21
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,984
Whose memory may persist
22
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,737
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
23
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,205
- Yes sir...
- I'll take it!
24
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,674
Sorry, I raised my hand first
25
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,512
But I called out first
26
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,620
I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poet
27
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,451
I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor
28
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,522
From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized
29
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,952
From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing
30
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,692
Hello, who wants it?
31
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,431
Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of tea
32
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,997
€1OO
33
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,962
€1OO for a €4O ticket?
Black market of poetry!
34
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,166
Queued up
six long hours for this
35
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,637
Time is money
36
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:30,452
- Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first
37
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,253
Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?
38
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:41,295
1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting
39
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:45,001
That's a damn good idea!
40
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,069
10, 20, 30, 4O
41
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:49,732
50 more
42
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,698
-96
-96
43
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,038
€96. How about a discount?
We're from the same countn/
44
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,309
Hail India, bro!
45
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,444
Long live motherland!
€100
46
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,651
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
47
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,059
Sir!
48
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,962
Can I borrow €4?
Please!
49
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,689
Keep my watch till I repay
50
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,025
Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket
51
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,433
Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left
52
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,498
There is one left
with that black marketer
53
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:29,103
Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name
54
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,079
So true!
55
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,477
Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket
56
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,644
OK, Sir
57
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,111
Thank you
58
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,988
Yes!
59
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,172
- Sir!
- Do I know you?
60
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,739
Where's my ticket?
61
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:05,015
Ticket?
Yours for € 100
62
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,049
You bloody cheat!
63
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,685
Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!
64
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,017
Mind your language!
65
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,354
Mind your coat first!
66
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,118
- Now enjoy the show!
- Security!
67
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,626
- Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!
68
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,732
Let's get outta here
69
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,030
I'll get you for this!
70
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,734
Don't chase me...
catch him!
71
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,087
Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!
72
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,156
Forget it
73
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,360
How can I?
74
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,263
That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am
75
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,320
Drop it
76
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:59,059
Why pine for the party
that shuns us?
77
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,499
Follow the moment
that beckons us
78
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,169
I too dabble in poetry
79
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,240
It's nice. Go on
80
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:14,282
No. Ifl go on,
you'll propose to me
81
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,544
- You crazy?
- I mean it!
82
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,087
Your favorite poet,
senior Mr Bachchan
83
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,022
met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse
84
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,592
By dusk they were married.
So I've read
85
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,129
Really?
86
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,195
And boy!
Look what they produced -
87
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,561
Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor
88
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,370
Jaw“
89
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:36,769
Jaggu?
90
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,498
My name
91
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:42,110
Papa named me Jagat Janani:
world's mother
92
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,407
I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu
93
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,480
- From Mumbai?
- No. Delhi
94
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,416
I'm studying TV production
95
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,613
And you?
96
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,719
Sarfaraz. I study architecture
97
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,089
and work pan time
at the Pakistan Embassy
98
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,397
Pakistan Embassy? Why?
99
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,994
Well, I'm from Pakistan
100
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:06,636
Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!
101
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,471
What's wrong?
102
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,438
Nothing
103
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:21,276
My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?
104
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,283
Alright then
105
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,658
Goodbye
106
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:49,339
Ask not my name,
nor my country
107
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:55,710
From bondage of
borders break free
108
00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:02,284
A few steps
on this brief journey
109
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:08,227
Come,
just walk with me
110
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,041
Ask not my name,
nor my country
111
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,474
From bondage of
borders break free
112
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:30,152
A few steps
on this brief journey
113
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,616
Come,
just walk with me
114
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,054
Past the realms of
word and speech
115
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,488
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
116
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,026
A few steps
on this brief journey
117
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,234
Come,
just walk with me
118
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:53,772
Past the realms of
word and speech
119
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,606
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
120
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,244
A few steps
on this brief journey
121
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,489
Come,
just walk with me
122
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:30,309
If the sun scorches
the pathway
123
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,050
A carpet of shade
will I lay
124
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:38,319
If darkness
fills you with dismay
125
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:42,218
I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky
126
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:46,324
If dejection fills up
your day
127
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,190
With laughter
H! shoo it away
128
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:54,365
Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song
129
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,131
Together we shall
walk along
130
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:20,090
With you,
my fellow traveler
131
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,298
Nothing in this world I fear
132
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:28,271
Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong
133
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,635
With you I'll walk along
134
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:36,111
Past the realms of
word and speech
135
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:39,679
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
136
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:44,149
A few steps
on this brief journey
137
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:48,255
Come,
just walk with me
138
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,991
- Thank you
- Thank you
139
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,161
Mom!
140
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,103
Papa!
141
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,640
She's fallen in love!
142
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,369
Fallen in love?
143
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,137
He's so cute!
144
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,706
More photos please!
145
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,672
What's his job?
What's his family like?
146
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,216
Calm down Mom.
I'll tell you
147
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,443
First, the name
148
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,313
Sarfaraz
149
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,521
Muslim?
150
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:59,025
Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in Pakistan
151
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,426
Pakistan!
Which Pakistan?
152
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,224
There's just
one Pakistan, Mom
153
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:04,298
You'll wear burkhas?
154
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,594
Read the Quran?
Have you gone mad?
155
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,605
Don't you disconnect.
Stay put
156
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,236
Stan the car
157
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,477
Ali's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!
158
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,536
I knew exactly
where Papa was headed
159
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,349
Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness
160
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,180
Bye Mom
161
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,650
From bags to bathroom walls,
162
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,050
he was omnipresent
163
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:35,998
Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time
164
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:42,462
He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task
165
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:47,443
Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market
166
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,506
God of Health for workouts
167
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,348
Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courier
168
00:17:56,542 --> 00:18:00,615
were his innovations
169
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,555
Hail, Your Holiness
170
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,091
Hail, Your Holiness
171
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:15,537
Touch his feet Jaggu
172
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:28,983
Why this fatal infatuation?
173
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:32,551
Pick up a pen and write
174
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,353
God
175
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,123
Enlighten me
176
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,291
Yes...
177
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,033
Yes...
178
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,403
Your wish is our command
179
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,076
Write down the prophecy
180
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,436
This Pakistani boy,
181
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,304
Sarfaraz,
182
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,015
will betray you
183
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,344
I know he won't
184
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:09,426
History stands witness:
these people scheme and betray
185
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:13,290
He will pursue
carnal pleasures
186
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,629
But will never marry you.
He'll vanish
187
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:21,631
Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us
188
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,641
Mr Sahni,
I'll talk to her
189
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:28,667
Child, hit the delete button
190
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,239
Banish him
from your system
191
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,012
Hello!
192
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,656
What happened?
193
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,024
Do you love me?
194
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,191
Of course I do. Why?
195
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:51,001
- Will you marn/ me?
- What's the matter?
196
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,124
Yes or no, Sarfaraz?
197
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,302
- Yes, but...
- Tomorrow
198
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,538
Tomorrow?
199
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,367
Tomorrow we get married
200
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,070
His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it
201
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,252
Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next
202
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,465
- James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar
203
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,231
Could you just
hold this please?
204
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,697
- Yes of course.
- Thank you
205
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,434
Hello...
206
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,504
This is for you
207
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,677
- For me?
- Yeah
208
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,544
Thank you
209
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,613
It was from Sarfaraz
210
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,281
He said: marriage isn'tjust
between individuals, but families
211
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:49,626
Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different
212
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,595
We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy
213
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,198
Don't try to contact me
214
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,798
I'm sorry
215
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,216
Where to go young |adV?
216
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:20,649
New Delhi
217
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:29,056
I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me
218
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,201
I joined a news channel
as a reporter
219
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,630
Today's story:
a depressed dog
220
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,300
That's our breaking news!
221
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,201
Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated it
222
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:02,725
Missing: God
223
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,432
If found, contact Tipsy
224
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,608
There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office
225
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,602
Don't be late!
226
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,284
Excuse me?
227
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,286
Why are you
handing these out?
228
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,031
I have a case
pending with Him
229
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,233
He neither solves it,
nor meets me
230
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,729
My life is kaput
231
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,562
He's gone into hiding
232
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,270
Have you seen Him around?
233
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,075
No
234
00:22:51,637 --> 00:23:00,216
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
235
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:04,657
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
236
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,257
By the way,
what's with the helmet?
237
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,532
Got the idea from taxi-tops
238
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,628
Yellow yells out from miles
239
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:16,062
Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic
240
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:20,000
- So?
- So God can spot me easy!
241
00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:24,373
How else will he spot me
in this crowd?
242
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:35,115
A bit to your left - perfect!
243
00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:36,588
Ok, background?
244
00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:38,525
Cue .3899“
245
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:42,229
They say
animals are not suicidal
246
00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:46,662
Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog
247
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:50,773
Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice
248
00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:56,571
Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner
249
00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,073
What's wrong with Nikku?
250
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:02,311
Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?
251
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,316
Is Nikku...
252
00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:08,219
What's wrong Jaggu?
253
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,355
What is this shit, Mitu?
254
00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:18,091
Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continues
255
00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:20,000
right after this break
256
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,534
Going well, Ratan?
Some coffee?
257
00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,270
Get him some coffee
258
00:24:25,431 --> 00:24:27,502
- Chem]...
- Oh no!
259
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:31,103
What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,
260
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:34,546
schizophrenia, or ADHD?
261
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:36,678
Whatever,
why would I care?
262
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,010
Exactly
263
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:43,023
Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?
264
00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:45,559
What would you rather air?
265
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:48,028
Hold him please
266
00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:50,757
See this?
267
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:54,228
I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets
268
00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:57,369
- He is searching for God.
- Found Him?
269
00:24:58,030 --> 00:24:59,532
No... but
270
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:03,978
Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news
271
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,483
If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air
272
00:25:06,705 --> 00:25:08,548
You know the Company policy
273
00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:11,284
No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished
274
00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:13,183
Man, you've changed!
275
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:15,616
Where's the fighter,
Chern/ Bajwa?
276
00:25:16,115 --> 00:25:18,493
You wanna see the fighter?
277
00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:20,597
Take a good look
278
00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:23,531
There are three marks here
279
00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,534
These aren't birthmarks
280
00:25:25,657 --> 00:25:30,072
I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru
281
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:33,572
His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum
282
00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:36,478
Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds
283
00:25:36,602 --> 00:25:39,208
That day I swore -
if you want to live in this country
284
00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:41,178
don't mess with religion.
That's it
285
00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,287
- I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...
286
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,012
3...
287
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:44,748
2...
288
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:45,678
1...
289
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:47,282
Welcome back from the break
290
00:25:47,513 --> 00:25:50,551
We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...
291
00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:53,628
The boss killed my story
292
00:25:54,019 --> 00:25:58,024
But it came back to life
two weeks later
293
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,336
[ DONATION BOX]
294
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,182
Stop! Thief!
295
00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:52,512
He's stealing
from the donation box!
296
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:11,672
Don't let him go!
297
00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,674
Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?
298
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:22,475
Yes
299
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:24,316
He's no thief!
300
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:28,056
While donating
my wallet fell in the box
301
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,423
He was getting it out for me
302
00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,288
Trust me
303
00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:37,159
Check for yourself.
It has Rs 5,000 in it
304
00:27:53,572 --> 00:27:55,347
- That's mine!
- It was
305
00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:57,746
Once in the box,
it's donated
306
00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:01,147
Now, it's God's.
Let them go
307
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:04,627
Dude, what the hell
were you up to?
308
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,128
Claiming my refund
309
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:08,196
God took His fee
but didn't deliver
310
00:28:08,253 --> 00:28:09,960
Hang on...
311
00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:14,393
I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back in
312
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:19,306
I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest
313
00:28:20,299 --> 00:28:22,438
You used to wear
beads and amulets?
314
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,572
Rejected. Gone for good
315
00:28:25,070 --> 00:28:27,573
Why the stickers then?
316
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,313
Self-defense!
317
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:34,047
God pics on walls - prevent peeing
318
00:28:34,279 --> 00:28:37,419
on face - prevent punches
319
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:44,992
Mitu, where are you?
320
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:47,602
Pick me up.
I've no money to get home
321
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:49,266
I'll fill you in later
322
00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:53,032
I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple
323
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:55,467
Hurry.
Thanks, bye
324
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:58,513
Here you go
325
00:28:59,004 --> 00:29:02,042
- For what?
- For the ride home
326
00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:06,982
When someone can't
get home, I feel sad
327
00:29:08,614 --> 00:29:11,993
- Wait.
- That's all I had
328
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,288
I can't accept this
329
00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:18,567
- Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?
330
00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:26,973
Money can't get me home
331
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:30,046
Why? Where do you live?
332
00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:41,514
In the step-well ruins
333
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:47,687
But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up
334
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:51,026
Lock-up!
As in police lock-up?
335
00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:54,999
There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them
336
00:29:55,193 --> 00:29:58,436
And they let you check in,
like a hotel?
337
00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:01,303
Come.
I'll give you a demo
338
00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,607
[Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE]
339
00:30:10,576 --> 00:30:12,146
Just watch!
340
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,716
[Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE]
341
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:19,152
Hey, copper -
look here proper!
342
00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:36,743
I'll show you proper!
343
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:48,318
Jaggu!
344
00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:53,085
We have to
follow that van
345
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:56,166
- Who are we chasing?
- A ston/
346
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:13,179
Gimme your wallet.
I need cash
347
00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:16,616
Hurry!
Thanks. Bye
348
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:30,429
Excuse me?
349
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:32,333
Yes?
350
00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:35,131
I want to go
inside the lock-up
351
00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,466
Why?
352
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,535
To meet that guy
353
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,770
You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?
354
00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:47,381
Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?
355
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,175
This is a lock-up, get it?
356
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,386
Only offenders get in
357
00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:57,318
Bribing is an offence!
358
00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:01,063
That's why I'm committing it!
359
00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,131
I can lock you in
360
00:32:02,187 --> 00:32:04,292
Please do... ASAP!
361
00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:14,534
- Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it
362
00:32:14,699 --> 00:32:16,235
I-li
363
00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:21,748
I want your story.
Will you share it?
364
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,483
Why?
365
00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:27,053
I'm a IV reporter.
It's my job
366
00:32:39,591 --> 00:32:44,438
- Go on, ask.
- Awesome!
367
00:32:49,234 --> 00:32:51,475
Your name?
368
00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,248
Don't have a name
369
00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:57,047
They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why
370
00:32:57,109 --> 00:32:59,487
And what do you do?
371
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:04,125
I'm an astronaut
372
00:33:05,684 --> 00:33:07,288
Astronaut!
373
00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,998
Those who shoot off
to the moon?
374
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:13,497
Been there once.
It's kaput
375
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,696
Sure!
376
00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,171
So what's your
favorite planet?
377
00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:22,212
- My own.
- I meant besides Earth?
378
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,471
Eaflh is mega-kaput
379
00:33:24,703 --> 00:33:27,274
I meant my own planet
380
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:35,014
It'll show up there at night
381
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,721
We went bananas,
382
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:43,132
when we found another planet
with people like us
383
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,259
I was sent here
on a research mission
384
00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:48,302
Boy, what a welcome I got!
385
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,733
My remote got robbed
386
00:33:51,563 --> 00:33:55,101
Without it,
I can't signal my people
387
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,306
and without a signal
they won't come for me
388
00:33:58,603 --> 00:34:01,277
They'll think
it's a perilous planet
389
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,080
That I'm dead as a dodo
390
00:34:08,513 --> 00:34:09,321
Hello!
391
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:10,993
- Listen...
- What?
392
00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:12,728
Let me out.
I want to go home
393
00:34:13,151 --> 00:34:17,122
Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops do
394
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:18,666
I'm not a thief
395
00:34:18,990 --> 00:34:20,401
So say all the thieves
396
00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:22,993
Where's officer Pandey?
397
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,530
Out on his rounds
398
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,004
Officer Pandey!
399
00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:28,577
Officer Pandey!
400
00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:31,705
Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich
401
00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:54,300
You think
I'm talking baloney?
402
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,505
Obviously!
403
00:34:57,028 --> 00:34:59,201
Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?
404
00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:01,106
On our planet...
405
00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:04,374
.. there's no language!
406
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:07,377
We read minds.
There's no confusion
407
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:10,587
Here, you utter something
and mean something else
408
00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:13,020
A two-letter word can have
four different meanings
409
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:18,258
When you nod and say “oh“,
it means “Oh, that's cool“
410
00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:22,726
When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news
411
00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:25,998
“Your mother-in-law
is moving in.“ “Oh!“
412
00:35:27,058 --> 00:35:29,470
When angry, you thunder
413
00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:33,198
"Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"
414
00:35:33,532 --> 00:35:36,445
And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!
415
00:35:37,269 --> 00:35:39,613
"Ohhhhhhh! I see!"
416
00:35:40,538 --> 00:35:43,747
As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expression
417
00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:46,011
to get the real meaning
418
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:50,219
It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi
419
00:35:50,348 --> 00:35:53,454
A whole language in 6 hours?
420
00:35:53,518 --> 00:35:56,124
No one let me hold hands
421
00:35:56,554 --> 00:35:58,693
Finally, a nice lady
lent her hand
422
00:35:58,757 --> 00:36:02,637
I held it and transferred
her language into my system
423
00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:07,575
Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!
424
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:10,203
Is your hand a USB cable,
425
00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:14,211
that transfers files
between computers?
426
00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:18,249
And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?
427
00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:19,980
Noooo!
428
00:36:20,245 --> 00:36:21,383
On our planet...
429
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:25,652
.. no one wears clothes.
There we go bare
430
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:28,996
Here, at first I thought
431
00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:32,991
your skins were
different from ours
432
00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:35,665
Some had sparkly hides,
433
00:36:35,994 --> 00:36:38,600
some jet black
434
00:36:39,664 --> 00:36:42,645
Some hides were colorful,
some white
435
00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:47,573
Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy
436
00:36:49,608 --> 00:36:52,521
Then one day
I found a car
437
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:54,121
A dancing car
438
00:37:00,318 --> 00:37:05,700
That day I realized
our skins were the same
439
00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:10,972
but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion
440
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,010
Radio Commercial
441
00:37:19,170 --> 00:37:22,447
Now I could mingle
442
00:37:22,707 --> 00:37:26,450
Yet I was mocked
443
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,556
Look here -
half man, half woman!
444
00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:33,320
Slowly I got it
445
00:37:33,451 --> 00:37:36,489
There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion
446
00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:38,562
There was day fashion...
447
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:40,492
.. and night fashion
448
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,232
Sporting fashion...
449
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,035
.. and sewing fashion
450
00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:51,003
With the clothes,
I found some photos
451
00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:08,696
It hit me - these photos
meant survival
452
00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:12,297
You could
swap them for food
453
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,961
Sol built a portfolio
of this old man's photos
454
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:33,318
What's this?
455
00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:39,725
What are these for?
456
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,326
Why are you giving me
this junk?
457
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,336
Right! Now we're talking!
458
00:38:50,595 --> 00:38:52,370
Here you go
459
00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:57,507
I got it: this photo had value
on just one kind of paper
460
00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:02,246
On any other paper,
it was worthless
461
00:39:04,442 --> 00:39:08,015
For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available
462
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:11,218
They were my bank,
they were my tailor!
463
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:15,361
Once, I got
such magnetic attire
464
00:39:15,587 --> 00:39:18,568
that no photos
were needed
465
00:39:18,623 --> 00:39:20,967
Food was pulled to me
466
00:39:21,126 --> 00:39:22,969
For you, Sir
467
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:29,167
Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language
468
00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:32,440
Without it,
every task was a trial
469
00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:34,507
Like telling this gentleman
470
00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:38,280
there was a defect
in his fashion
471
00:39:45,150 --> 00:39:48,427
i felt i had spoilt his fashion
472
00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,126
So I put it back
where it was
473
00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:20,118
[Radio Announcement]
474
00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:25,501
Found him on the road
475
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:28,228
Some scumbag
hit him and bolted
476
00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:31,064
Seems pretty okay,
477
00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:34,335
but isn't responding
478
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,476
Has his eardrum
called it a day?
479
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:39,715
Are you deaf?
480
00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:43,651
Can hear alright,
but isn't talking
481
00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:46,549
Seems in a state of shock
482
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:50,055
Memory loss, I'm afraid
483
00:41:00,558 --> 00:41:03,539
Remember the scumbag
who hit you?
484
00:41:05,730 --> 00:41:08,142
Remember the license plate?
485
00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:12,476
Remember anything at all?
486
00:41:40,765 --> 00:41:44,235
Come my friend.
Come with me
487
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:49,375
Be my guest till you
get your memory back
488
00:41:51,543 --> 00:41:53,614
Keep slamming your head
489
00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:59,391
One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back
490
00:41:59,584 --> 00:42:01,188
Seen it in the movies
491
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:03,596
To figure what he was
yapping about,
492
00:42:03,655 --> 00:42:08,035
I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language
493
00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:12,002
Hey!
494
00:42:13,565 --> 00:42:17,012
With memon/ loss your gender
sense went for a toss?
495
00:42:17,235 --> 00:42:18,145
Wait a moment...
496
00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:20,615
See this - my license
497
00:42:21,105 --> 00:42:22,516
Sex: MALE
498
00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:23,576
Man...
499
00:42:24,008 --> 00:42:26,682
rogue, rascal, scumbag
500
00:42:28,346 --> 00:42:33,352
To return home
I had to hold someone's hand
501
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,405
Here comes my zany guest
502
00:42:56,541 --> 00:43:00,182
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
503
00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:06,620
Here comes my zany guest
504
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:10,294
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
505
00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:14,094
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
506
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:17,068
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
507
00:43:17,996 --> 00:43:24,675
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
508
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:34,019
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
509
00:44:10,715 --> 00:44:14,424
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
510
00:44:14,585 --> 00:44:17,725
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
511
00:44:18,289 --> 00:44:21,429
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
512
00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:25,005
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
513
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:32,072
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
514
00:44:32,236 --> 00:44:39,017
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
515
00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:42,747
What's the zip code
Of your abode
516
00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:46,493
Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground
517
00:44:46,551 --> 00:44:50,192
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
518
00:44:50,421 --> 00:44:53,197
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
519
00:44:54,025 --> 00:45:01,034
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
520
00:45:02,967 --> 00:45:09,248
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
521
00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:15,556
This memory loss is a blessing
522
00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:22,123
This memory loss is a blessing
523
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:25,599
Feuds forgotten
lenders lefi guessing
524
00:45:25,690 --> 00:45:27,260
Lovable lad
525
00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:29,095
Innocent cad
526
00:45:29,527 --> 00:45:32,565
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
527
00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:39,274
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
528
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:48,581
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
529
00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:25,016
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
530
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,124
Here comes the lusty lad!
531
00:46:27,251 --> 00:46:28,594
Here comes the lusty lad!
532
00:46:28,653 --> 00:46:32,100
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
533
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,238
I feel your pain, bro
534
00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:46,545
But don't go grabbing hands
535
00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:52,453
You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed
536
00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:59,525
Don't give up,
I know place for you
537
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:14,965
Hand, foot -
hold whatever
538
00:47:15,132 --> 00:47:16,975
No one will bash you here
539
00:47:17,235 --> 00:47:18,270
Come
540
00:47:18,503 --> 00:47:23,248
What a neighborhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women
541
00:47:23,641 --> 00:47:27,088
All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home
542
00:47:27,411 --> 00:47:31,689
Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper
543
00:47:31,983 --> 00:47:35,521
Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite
544
00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:26,706
Pepper sat patiently all night
545
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:32,145
For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files
546
00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:38,083
ABC - XYZ,
I drew in everything
547
00:48:48,526 --> 00:48:53,566
First time?... Kaput before you kicked off?
548
00:48:58,703 --> 00:49:00,705
Y---V--- yes!
549
00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:04,552
Where are you from?
550
00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:10,082
Far, far away
551
00:49:10,981 --> 00:49:14,019
From an unheard of village
552
00:49:14,218 --> 00:49:16,664
But you speak my lingo!
553
00:49:17,188 --> 00:49:22,035
Because I learnt it from you,
Sister
554
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:26,040
Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!
555
00:49:28,165 --> 00:49:29,007
Bro!
556
00:49:30,234 --> 00:49:32,214
Bro, wake up!
557
00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:34,381
Bro, wake up!
558
00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:36,048
Bro!
559
00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:38,979
You're talking!
560
00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:41,616
Bro, I need your help
561
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,016
Pepper cleared up your throat!
562
00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:45,990
Bro, come with me quick
563
00:49:46,016 --> 00:49:48,724
Memory and making out
have a direct connection!
564
00:49:49,553 --> 00:49:54,024
Update the docs:
get laid, get well!
565
00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,469
It's urgent, bro!
566
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:57,695
Okay, let's go
567
00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:06,345
Stop... stop!
568
00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:08,415
Stop, bro!
569
00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:15,684
The jerk robbed me
right here
570
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:19,057
I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back
571
00:50:19,216 --> 00:50:21,127
- Precious?
- It's priceless!
572
00:50:21,652 --> 00:50:24,360
The thief must be a local
573
00:50:24,722 --> 00:50:27,532
But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi
574
00:50:27,658 --> 00:50:31,299
If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught
575
00:50:32,329 --> 00:50:34,206
Then I must go
576
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:36,172
Where?
577
00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:38,075
Delhi
578
00:51:02,026 --> 00:51:03,505
- Officer!
- Yeah?
579
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,166
- My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?
580
00:51:07,431 --> 00:51:10,378
Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?
581
00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:13,709
- It's not a TV remote!
- Then?
582
00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:18,119
Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain
583
00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:19,586
Really precious
584
00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:22,513
- Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa
585
00:51:23,514 --> 00:51:27,462
And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?
586
00:51:28,052 --> 00:51:29,725
The thief came to Delhi
587
00:51:30,020 --> 00:51:32,022
- So?
- So where's the thief?
588
00:51:32,056 --> 00:51:35,037
Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million
589
00:51:35,159 --> 00:51:40,131
Police are human,
not God
590
00:51:41,532 --> 00:51:45,173
Only God can help you
591
00:51:46,237 --> 00:51:51,687
Surrender to God,
you'll succeed
592
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:56,421
Only God knows
593
00:51:56,613 --> 00:52:00,356
Ask God, not me!
594
00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:04,631
Trust in God, my child
595
00:52:05,089 --> 00:52:10,471
Who was this God chap?
AH said only He could help
596
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:14,132
What I saw blew my mind
597
00:52:14,398 --> 00:52:18,244
Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!
598
00:52:18,602 --> 00:52:23,017
Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses
599
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:29,589
Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee
600
00:52:30,114 --> 00:52:33,687
My planet had no such facility
601
00:52:34,118 --> 00:52:39,067
I could not believe it!
So decided to test it
602
00:52:41,058 --> 00:52:43,060
One take-away God
603
00:52:43,093 --> 00:52:46,472
Which one?
Rs 20, 100, 500?
604
00:52:47,031 --> 00:52:50,342
Any difference?
In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones?
605
00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:52,605
Just the size.
Otherwise ditto
606
00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:56,277
Rs 20 God is
equally efficient?
607
00:52:57,308 --> 00:53:01,051
OK, gimme R515!
Nothing less
608
00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:18,139
God, I am famished.
Get me some food please
609
00:53:30,107 --> 00:53:31,609
I went bananas
610
00:53:32,176 --> 00:53:36,147
God actually worked!
Now I could go home
611
00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:39,217
God, my remote is stolen
612
00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:42,590
Please find it.
I want to go home
613
00:53:56,033 --> 00:54:00,140
God's batten] died.
Worked once, then kaput
614
00:54:00,204 --> 00:54:01,649
What do you mean?
615
00:54:01,705 --> 00:54:04,185
Stick a new batten] in.
Where does it go?
616
00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:07,347
- It needs no batten].
- Then why is it off?
617
00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:11,354
- Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff
618
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:17,195
- You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands
619
00:54:17,688 --> 00:54:20,669
You made God,
or God made you?
620
00:54:20,991 --> 00:54:26,031
He made us all-
I only make His statues
621
00:54:26,163 --> 00:54:28,336
Why the statues?
622
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:32,278
To worship Him.
To voice our problems
623
00:54:32,569 --> 00:54:37,040
Is there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?
624
00:54:38,008 --> 00:54:42,616
God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly
625
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,661
Directly?
Then why the statue?
626
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:48,530
What's with him?
627
00:54:49,453 --> 00:54:53,265
Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?
628
00:54:54,058 --> 00:54:56,038
My remote is stolen, Sir
629
00:54:56,193 --> 00:54:59,470
I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply
630
00:55:00,030 --> 00:55:02,010
' Are YOU tipsy?
- Meaning?
631
00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:05,172
You're overloading
this pint-sized God
632
00:55:05,202 --> 00:55:07,978
His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief
633
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:11,110
Bother the big God
inside the temple
634
00:55:11,508 --> 00:55:14,011
He'll run fast
635
00:55:14,044 --> 00:55:17,617
Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver
636
00:55:17,681 --> 00:55:19,627
Thafll be Rs 200
637
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:29,365
Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done
638
00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:32,503
Full 2 hours later
I got the appointment
639
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,165
God,
640
00:55:35,699 --> 00:55:39,203
please get my remote back
641
00:55:41,205 --> 00:55:43,276
- Where is it?
- Move!
642
00:55:43,474 --> 00:55:45,351
Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff
643
00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:50,091
He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee
644
00:55:50,147 --> 00:55:52,149
- Your work will be done.
- But when?
645
00:55:52,216 --> 00:55:54,628
Can't say when,
but it will be done
646
00:55:54,751 --> 00:55:57,561
- Move on.
- But when will I get it?
647
00:55:57,621 --> 00:55:59,328
Don't block the line, scram!
648
00:55:59,423 --> 00:56:02,131
If I scram,
someone else may get it
649
00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:03,034
Are you tipsy?
650
00:56:03,093 --> 00:56:07,007
Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?
651
00:56:07,064 --> 00:56:08,975
At the mental hospital!
652
00:56:09,066 --> 00:56:12,980
What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!
653
00:56:13,003 --> 00:56:15,244
- Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt
654
00:56:15,339 --> 00:56:16,113
Out!
655
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:19,517
Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivenj?
656
00:56:19,576 --> 00:56:22,079
Get out!
657
00:56:22,146 --> 00:56:23,318
But my remote?
658
00:56:23,447 --> 00:56:24,619
Leave!
659
00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:35,298
I can't find my shoes
660
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:39,037
Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick
661
00:56:39,330 --> 00:56:42,277
Rotation is routine
at temples
662
00:56:55,612 --> 00:57:00,186
He took the payment,
didn't deliver
663
00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:05,362
What's his name?
664
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,561
- They call Him God
- Real name?
665
00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:09,470
No idea
666
00:57:11,128 --> 00:57:12,300
Where does he live?
667
00:57:13,063 --> 00:57:15,065
In that temple
668
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:19,077
- You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box
669
00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:21,707
- Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing
670
00:57:21,972 --> 00:57:23,474
Is he mute?
671
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,347
Perhaps... maybe
672
00:57:25,976 --> 00:57:27,512
Oh...
673
00:57:29,146 --> 00:57:31,217
Describe him
674
00:57:34,017 --> 00:57:35,997
Ditto
675
00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:40,259
But a bigger chap
676
00:57:41,225 --> 00:57:42,499
Come near...
677
00:57:44,394 --> 00:57:45,737
Are you tipsy?
678
00:57:46,530 --> 00:57:49,340
Yes.
How do you all know?
679
00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:53,108
Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!
680
00:57:53,203 --> 00:57:56,207
Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap
681
00:57:57,241 --> 00:58:00,222
Frisk him
682
00:58:01,678 --> 00:58:04,215
Let me have a look
683
00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:07,391
Dr D'Me||o...
684
00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:13,033
Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?
685
00:58:13,223 --> 00:58:17,103
Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?
686
00:58:17,628 --> 00:58:22,134
Go to church.
To your own God
687
00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:25,977
Church?
688
00:59:14,351 --> 00:59:15,694
Get out of here
689
00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:18,990
My stuff!
My remote!
690
00:59:19,256 --> 00:59:22,396
God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!
691
00:59:22,959 --> 00:59:26,964
Crucified! When?
692
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:30,609
2,000 years ago.
For your sins!
693
00:59:31,201 --> 00:59:34,307
What did I do?
I just got here
694
00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:38,110
" A .
re you upsy?
“ Yes!
695
00:59:38,175 --> 00:59:40,985
God is watching you.
Behave
696
00:59:41,545 --> 00:59:43,183
Where?
697
00:59:43,447 --> 00:59:44,721
Where is God?
698
00:59:45,248 --> 00:59:46,727
What's in the mug?
699
00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:48,292
Wine
700
00:59:48,519 --> 00:59:52,433
Wine!
Now I got it!
701
00:59:53,290 --> 00:59:56,032
God was bored of
coconut water
702
00:59:56,226 --> 01:00:00,106
Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive
703
01:00:00,297 --> 01:00:02,334
So I had to muster money
704
01:00:04,067 --> 01:00:08,573
I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentleman
705
01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:11,577
who held out a bowl
of dole everyday
706
01:00:12,075 --> 01:00:15,215
You could withdraw
as per need
707
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:32,130
[Radio Announcement]
708
01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:37,503
Sir, any God house
around here?
709
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,614
Right there
710
01:00:39,736 --> 01:00:48,781
Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode
711
01:00:52,415 --> 01:00:59,196
Or show me a place
where there is no God
712
01:01:00,123 --> 01:01:02,603
Stop!
What's that?
713
01:01:03,026 --> 01:01:05,006
Wine, for God
714
01:01:05,295 --> 01:01:07,206
Where is He?
715
01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:49,577
This lady looked very sad
716
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,714
To know why,
I grabbed her hand
717
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:55,521
Hitting on a widow,
you |ech!
718
01:01:55,746 --> 01:01:58,090
Widow?
How do you know?
719
01:01:58,215 --> 01:02:00,217
Don't you see
she's clad in white?
720
01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,063
Is everything fine?
721
01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:15,131
Everything is fine.
722
01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:18,212
Just relax. Smile.
723
01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:22,243
So sorry
your husband's dead
724
01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:23,648
- What?
- When?
725
01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:27,011
How do I know?
You are clad in white
726
01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,023
Brides wear white!
727
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:31,685
No, widows wear white
728
01:02:32,048 --> 01:02:33,459
Widows wear black,
stupid!
729
01:02:33,517 --> 01:02:36,657
Now don't
stress her out. Go!
730
01:02:46,663 --> 01:02:49,166
All three lost your husbands?
731
01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:51,706
I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?
732
01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:55,509
After many whacks,
I learnt
733
01:02:55,572 --> 01:02:59,179
there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods
734
01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:01,586
Each with His own
set of rules
735
01:03:02,045 --> 01:03:04,321
Each God had floated
His own Company
736
01:03:04,981 --> 01:03:06,983
They called it religion
737
01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:10,423
Each Company had
its own agents
738
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:15,660
All Earthlings belonged to
some religion
739
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:20,632
and followed the God
of that religion alone
740
01:03:21,298 --> 01:03:25,007
What was my religion,
who was my God?
741
01:03:25,502 --> 01:03:28,346
To find the remote
I had to know my God
742
01:03:44,187 --> 01:03:46,133
What are you doing?
743
01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,029
Where is the label?
744
01:03:48,224 --> 01:03:50,067
What label?
745
01:03:50,527 --> 01:03:52,200
The Religion label
746
01:03:53,129 --> 01:03:55,666
How do you know which
Company he belongs to?
747
01:03:56,299 --> 01:03:58,779
Where does God
label them?
748
01:03:59,469 --> 01:04:00,447
Security!
749
01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:10,481
Finding my religion
was tough
750
01:04:11,114 --> 01:04:15,995
So I decided to
worship all Gods
751
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:19,998
One of them would be
my God, who'd help me
752
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:26,505
It's You who governs
The world I hear
753
01:04:26,997 --> 01:04:32,675
Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me
754
01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:38,347
God where are You
755
01:04:40,010 --> 01:04:45,722
Tell me where are You
756
01:04:47,017 --> 01:04:53,525
You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way
757
01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:59,666
I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray
758
01:05:00,163 --> 01:05:05,203
God where are You
759
01:05:06,670 --> 01:05:12,552
Tell me where are You
760
01:05:40,303 --> 01:05:43,307
Shall I worship You
in temples
761
01:05:43,706 --> 01:05:46,687
In mosques
do my faith I show
762
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:53,117
Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go
763
01:05:53,716 --> 01:06:00,361
Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere
764
01:06:00,557 --> 01:06:06,530
My hope now,
has turned to despair
765
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:12,474
My hope now,
has turned to despair
766
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:20,144
My hope now,
has turned to despair
767
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:30,196
Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout
768
01:06:31,288 --> 01:06:37,170
Like millions around
i submit without a doubt
769
01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:42,499
God where are You
770
01:06:44,234 --> 01:06:49,308
Tell me where are You
771
01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:24,209
You have many names
And many faces too
772
01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:30,583
I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You
773
01:07:31,281 --> 01:07:37,425
In no shrine did I find You
774
01:07:38,021 --> 01:07:43,130
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
775
01:07:44,627 --> 01:07:50,100
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
776
01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:57,041
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
777
01:08:02,045 --> 01:08:07,654
I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure
778
01:08:08,618 --> 01:08:14,466
Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure
779
01:08:15,124 --> 01:08:19,539
God where are you
780
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:26,138
Tell me where are you
781
01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:33,581
God where are you
782
01:08:35,211 --> 01:08:41,423
Tell me where are you
783
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:53,598
God - I'm all confused
784
01:08:55,432 --> 01:09:00,211
What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?
785
01:09:01,637 --> 01:09:04,277
Understand my plight
786
01:09:04,674 --> 01:09:06,984
Give me some guidance
787
01:09:07,377 --> 01:09:09,379
Please
788
01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:14,218
Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,
789
01:09:14,517 --> 01:09:19,523
or on bent knees,
head to the ground?
790
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,130
Do I wake you
with temple bells?
791
01:09:24,461 --> 01:09:26,441
Or call out on a loudspeaker?
792
01:09:27,464 --> 01:09:32,971
The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?
793
01:09:33,403 --> 01:09:37,408
Your different managers
say different things
794
01:09:38,074 --> 01:09:42,545
Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday
795
01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:47,994
Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise
796
01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:52,566
Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her
797
01:09:53,289 --> 01:09:58,705
Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church
798
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:02,005
What is right,
what is wrong
799
01:10:02,298 --> 01:10:04,608
I am clueless
800
01:10:06,302 --> 01:10:09,044
I'm at breaking point
801
01:10:11,307 --> 01:10:13,446
I want to go home
802
01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:18,220
I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home
803
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:20,425
Please
804
01:10:22,118 --> 01:10:24,064
Say something
805
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:27,034
At least one of you...
806
01:10:27,657 --> 01:10:30,069
.. give me some answer
807
01:10:30,326 --> 01:10:31,669
Please
808
01:10:33,696 --> 01:10:35,266
Please
809
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,609
Please
810
01:10:49,612 --> 01:10:52,559
Missing: God
811
01:10:59,355 --> 01:11:01,062
Missing: God
812
01:11:10,166 --> 01:11:11,144
Missing: God
813
01:11:46,502 --> 01:11:48,175
Why the lock man?
814
01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:50,274
I gotcha today
815
01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:52,178
ope
“.8 m n!
V emw.
816
01:11:52,242 --> 01:11:54,313
Lord Shiva, slayer of sins
817
01:11:54,711 --> 01:11:56,156
who fears none
818
01:11:56,513 --> 01:11:59,050
Security!
Who are you?
819
01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:01,220
Don't you recognize me?
820
01:12:01,684 --> 01:12:03,994
I'm Tipsy!
821
01:12:05,288 --> 01:12:07,598
Where the hell is security?
822
01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:11,438
Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?
823
01:12:13,129 --> 01:12:15,268
Unlock that door now!
824
01:12:15,431 --> 01:12:17,138
My remote first!
825
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,409
- What remote?
- Of my spaceship
826
01:12:20,703 --> 01:12:22,011
Space... ship?
827
01:12:22,205 --> 01:12:25,482
Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,
828
01:12:26,042 --> 01:12:28,716
I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet
829
01:12:29,045 --> 01:12:30,115
Smooch!
830
01:12:30,313 --> 01:12:34,227
Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?
831
01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:38,030
Brother let me go.
I've little kids at home
832
01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:40,466
I know!
You fathered two Gods
833
01:12:40,523 --> 01:12:43,299
Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone
834
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:46,101
First my remote,
then your family reunion
835
01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:48,509
Oh God, save me please...
836
01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:50,271
There's a God
above you too?
837
01:12:50,333 --> 01:12:51,607
Lord Shiva, help
838
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,510
Where?
839
01:12:55,538 --> 01:12:59,145
Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless
840
01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:00,312
Help!
841
01:13:00,777 --> 01:13:01,721
Help!
842
01:13:03,980 --> 01:13:05,186
Help!
843
01:13:11,988 --> 01:13:14,434
Help!
844
01:13:15,525 --> 01:13:16,526
Help!
845
01:13:33,543 --> 01:13:37,047
Hail Lord Shiva
846
01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:59,511
Hail Lord Shiva
847
01:14:00,169 --> 01:14:05,676
I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the Himalayas
848
01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:09,316
when, suddenly - light!
849
01:14:09,612 --> 01:14:11,990
Dazzling light!
850
01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:18,032
It came from a bead
lying in the snow
851
01:14:18,688 --> 01:14:23,262
I shut my eyes
and invoked God
852
01:14:23,326 --> 01:14:26,398
Next moment,
I was connected
853
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:29,306
I said,
"God, enlighten me,"
854
01:14:29,532 --> 01:14:32,000
What is this
miraculous object,
855
01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:35,175
that is warm
even in this biting cold?
856
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,015
God said,
857
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:41,750
it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace
858
01:14:42,011 --> 01:14:47,757
Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple
859
01:14:48,084 --> 01:14:54,467
Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering
860
01:14:54,524 --> 01:14:57,368
Hail Lord Shiva
861
01:14:58,161 --> 01:15:00,539
Are you ready
for the sighting?
862
01:15:01,030 --> 01:15:03,704
The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!
863
01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:12,111
Hail Lord Shiva
864
01:15:12,608 --> 01:15:16,715
Hail Lord Shiva
865
01:15:25,621 --> 01:15:28,261
Hail Lord Shiva
866
01:15:28,558 --> 01:15:30,435
Hail Lord Shiva
867
01:15:30,626 --> 01:15:31,536
Stop.
868
01:15:31,594 --> 01:15:36,009
Let him through.
He's awed by the sight
869
01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:38,034
Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva
870
01:15:38,101 --> 01:15:41,241
Not there child.
Come here
871
01:15:41,504 --> 01:15:43,347
Express your ecstasy
872
01:15:43,473 --> 01:15:45,714
Hail Lord Shiva
873
01:15:46,108 --> 01:15:49,521
Hail Lord Shiva
874
01:15:50,012 --> 01:15:52,322
God, where are you?
Please step out,
875
01:15:52,348 --> 01:15:54,589
I want to thank you
876
01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:57,429
He's right here
877
01:15:57,753 --> 01:15:59,528
I met Him in the toilet
878
01:15:59,589 --> 01:16:02,229
I asked for my property
and He bolted
879
01:16:02,492 --> 01:16:04,369
I thought He vamoosed
880
01:16:04,627 --> 01:16:08,302
But no!
He led me to my property
881
01:16:08,531 --> 01:16:11,068
Hail Lord Shiva
882
01:16:12,001 --> 01:16:14,072
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead
883
01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:17,184
It's my property,
misdelivered to you
884
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:19,242
Your bead must be
misdelivered too
885
01:16:19,475 --> 01:16:24,288
Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify
886
01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:29,262
Anyway,
I'll take my property
887
01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:34,235
That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?
888
01:16:36,225 --> 01:16:40,139
Hail Lord Shiva
889
01:17:40,022 --> 01:17:45,529
Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?
890
01:17:47,730 --> 01:17:54,045
Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist
891
01:17:55,037 --> 01:17:59,144
Time up! Rs 500 can buy
only this much jail time
892
01:18:05,981 --> 01:18:07,983
Here's my card
893
01:18:08,551 --> 01:18:12,624
My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish
894
01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:15,601
Feel free to call. Okay?
895
01:18:16,993 --> 01:18:18,666
Take care
896
01:18:20,630 --> 01:18:22,974
Thank you officer Pandey
897
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:27,505
You don't believe my stow?
898
01:18:29,605 --> 01:18:33,985
Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku
899
01:18:34,410 --> 01:18:37,016
That's the story for you
900
01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:47,295
I need to go back in
for 2 minutes
901
01:18:48,090 --> 01:18:51,264
Quit these entry - exits
902
01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:56,473
Another Rs 500,
he's all yours
903
01:18:56,665 --> 01:19:00,340
When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?
904
01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:02,374
You didn't
905
01:19:02,638 --> 01:19:04,549
So how do you know?
906
01:19:05,007 --> 01:19:09,683
When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts
907
01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:12,454
You thought:
this story is dead
908
01:19:12,615 --> 01:19:14,219
I got to live with the
Nikku story
909
01:19:14,417 --> 01:19:17,364
Don't lie!
I must have mentioned it
910
01:19:17,486 --> 01:19:20,956
I cannot lie.
Lies need language
911
01:19:21,123 --> 01:19:24,593
On our planet
we hold hands, read minds
912
01:19:25,595 --> 01:19:27,040
- Gimme your hand.
- No way
913
01:19:27,163 --> 01:19:29,370
- Try it...
- Help me, son
914
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:34,980
My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs 10,000
915
01:19:35,137 --> 01:19:39,347
I'm Rs 500 short
If you can help...
916
01:19:39,475 --> 01:19:41,148
I'll give you
917
01:19:41,977 --> 01:19:43,081
Here
918
01:19:43,179 --> 01:19:45,989
Give your address.
I'll courier a check
919
01:19:46,015 --> 01:19:49,155
Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it
920
01:19:49,318 --> 01:19:51,059
Thank you
921
01:19:51,987 --> 01:19:53,091
Sir...
922
01:19:53,589 --> 01:19:56,627
Here's another Rs 100.
For the tip
923
01:19:58,994 --> 01:20:01,031
Bless you
924
01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:06,045
Confirmed.
You are no mind reader
925
01:20:06,268 --> 01:20:11,342
You got conned.
There is no hospital around here
926
01:20:11,540 --> 01:20:13,019
I know!
927
01:20:13,109 --> 01:20:16,022
He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner
928
01:20:16,045 --> 01:20:18,184
It's her 75th birthday
929
01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:21,091
She'd never been
to a fancy place
930
01:20:21,250 --> 01:20:24,129
He's been saving from
his pension for months
931
01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:27,565
She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput
932
01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:30,603
With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks
933
01:20:30,626 --> 01:20:32,196
Another yarn!
934
01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:36,471
On our planet, we don't lie
935
01:20:37,399 --> 01:20:39,208
Anyway, it's up t0 you
936
01:21:39,628 --> 01:21:41,232
- Here.
- Thank you Sir
937
01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:44,039
One moment. Tip him
938
01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:48,615
Why hold back -
it's your birthday!
939
01:21:48,771 --> 01:21:50,045
Thank you
940
01:22:19,001 --> 01:22:21,038
Address: Step-well ruins
941
01:22:45,361 --> 01:22:48,638
I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie
942
01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:53,078
Hope you haven't told anyone...
943
01:23:00,075 --> 01:23:02,055
.. that you're an alien?
944
01:23:02,244 --> 01:23:03,416
No way!
945
01:23:03,579 --> 01:23:08,358
They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!
946
01:23:10,285 --> 01:23:13,129
How come you told me?
947
01:23:14,590 --> 01:23:16,297
Ever since
I set foot on this planet
948
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:19,496
everyone has taken
money from me
949
01:23:19,695 --> 01:23:23,199
You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a box
950
01:23:23,699 --> 01:23:27,374
I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust you
951
01:23:30,739 --> 01:23:33,276
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy
952
01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:36,046
How?
953
01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:40,452
I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home
954
01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:43,195
That's my promise
955
01:24:30,566 --> 01:24:32,637
What are you goggling at?
956
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,103
You
957
01:24:35,104 --> 01:24:37,516
Aliens don't drop by everyday
958
01:24:38,741 --> 01:24:42,883
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
959
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,616
Yup, ditto
960
01:24:46,682 --> 01:24:51,722
And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?
961
01:24:52,254 --> 01:24:55,963
That crow is naked -
does he look weird?
962
01:24:56,191 --> 01:24:59,570
If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird
963
01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:04,578
Tipsy, I was awake all night...
964
01:25:05,467 --> 01:25:08,573
.. thinking how to get
your remote back
965
01:25:09,471 --> 01:25:10,108
Hello
966
01:25:10,472 --> 01:25:13,078
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
967
01:25:13,676 --> 01:25:14,814
Wrong number
968
01:25:15,210 --> 01:25:16,917
Isn't this Foflis Hospital?
969
01:25:17,179 --> 01:25:20,092
Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number
970
01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:24,188
Impossible!
I can't be wrong even] time!
971
01:25:25,487 --> 01:25:27,933
So how do we get
the remote?
972
01:25:31,126 --> 01:25:33,970
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
973
01:25:34,029 --> 01:25:37,033
Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late
974
01:25:37,499 --> 01:25:39,172
Balbir died this morning
975
01:25:39,702 --> 01:25:43,809
Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?
976
01:25:44,072 --> 01:25:46,609
Embarrassing,
but don't worn]
977
01:25:46,842 --> 01:25:48,981
Death Certificate
will say heart attack
978
01:25:49,177 --> 01:25:51,157
so the family saves face
979
01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:53,685
- Come for the body.
- On my way
980
01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:55,825
Ok, bye
981
01:25:58,687 --> 01:26:00,132
Why did you say that?
982
01:26:00,522 --> 01:26:01,865
Doling out joy
983
01:26:02,024 --> 01:26:05,995
When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!
984
01:26:06,061 --> 01:26:07,005
What!
985
01:26:07,129 --> 01:26:11,475
I was sick of his calls.
Sol played a prank
986
01:26:11,934 --> 01:26:15,143
- A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!
987
01:26:22,077 --> 01:26:23,647
l sot it!
988
01:26:24,646 --> 01:26:27,889
Someone is playing pranks
989
01:26:28,183 --> 01:26:30,754
When His Holiness dials God,
990
01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:34,193
cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',
991
01:26:34,590 --> 01:26:36,729
his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
992
01:26:37,092 --> 01:26:40,005
Someone out there
plays pranks
993
01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:44,234
The real God won't call
my remote a bead
994
01:26:45,667 --> 01:26:52,516
Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput
995
01:26:52,741 --> 01:26:55,085
All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!
996
01:26:55,511 --> 01:26:56,819
As in?
997
01:26:56,878 --> 01:27:01,224
Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?
998
01:27:01,783 --> 01:27:05,663
Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!
999
01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:08,457
Aren't we God's children?
1000
01:27:08,624 --> 01:27:13,801
Would a father make his kids
roll for help?
1001
01:27:14,463 --> 01:27:19,469
Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Stan rolling!
1002
01:27:20,135 --> 01:27:24,675
Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!
1003
01:27:25,140 --> 01:27:31,182
And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?
1004
01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:36,188
He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets
1005
01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:39,623
Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose shower
1006
01:27:40,055 --> 01:27:43,730
I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did
1007
01:27:44,159 --> 01:27:47,003
Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks
1008
01:27:47,229 --> 01:27:49,209
I didn't clear his confusion
1009
01:27:49,698 --> 01:27:52,508
for a crazy idea was
forming in my head
1010
01:27:52,701 --> 01:27:56,581
An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote
1011
01:27:57,606 --> 01:27:58,710
Who's this Tipsy?
1012
01:27:59,207 --> 01:28:01,118
That's a mystery
1013
01:28:01,510 --> 01:28:04,218
But the way he sees
this world is unique
1014
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:07,787
- As in?
- If he saw you smoking,
1015
01:28:08,050 --> 01:28:10,621
he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide
1016
01:28:10,886 --> 01:28:11,591
Why?
1017
01:28:11,653 --> 01:28:14,725
The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away
1018
01:28:16,091 --> 01:28:18,071
So what's the big idea?
1019
01:28:19,862 --> 01:28:21,136
Face-off
1020
01:28:21,597 --> 01:28:24,476
Between
Tipsy and His Holiness.
1021
01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:27,576
We'll take
the face-off to TV
1022
01:28:28,036 --> 01:28:30,516
Ratings will go
through the roof!
1023
01:28:31,139 --> 01:28:33,983
I have three trident marks
on my right bum
1024
01:28:34,509 --> 01:28:37,046
You want three more on my
left for balance?
1025
01:28:37,512 --> 01:28:38,490
Don't worn]
1026
01:28:38,580 --> 01:28:43,620
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...
1027
01:28:43,952 --> 01:28:46,990
.. his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number
1028
01:28:47,556 --> 01:28:50,537
His Holiness will be stumped
1029
01:28:51,026 --> 01:28:51,834
Cherry!
1030
01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:55,698
Tipsy's here.
Just meet him once
1031
01:28:56,031 --> 01:28:58,568
I bet his queries
will baffle you
1032
01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:00,541
Trust me. Please!
1033
01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:12,924
Excuse me,
you dropped this
1034
01:29:12,981 --> 01:29:14,483
Oh, thank you
1035
01:29:17,886 --> 01:29:20,059
That's not mine
1036
01:29:21,623 --> 01:29:24,467
Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavor
1037
01:29:25,727 --> 01:29:28,731
I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys
1038
01:29:29,064 --> 01:29:31,567
It's not mine.
Buzzed bozo!
1039
01:29:33,735 --> 01:29:35,942
- Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!
1040
01:29:36,138 --> 01:29:40,518
- Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless cad!
1041
01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:44,185
- Has to be yours.
- No, not mine
1042
01:29:44,613 --> 01:29:46,183
Tipsy, it's his
1043
01:29:46,582 --> 01:29:50,997
Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in
1044
01:29:55,490 --> 01:29:56,594
What's this?
1045
01:29:57,659 --> 01:29:59,161
It's a condom
1046
01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:04,237
- What does it do?
- Controls the world's population
1047
01:30:04,866 --> 01:30:05,867
How?
1048
01:30:06,435 --> 01:30:10,713
It has to be worn
while having sex
1049
01:30:13,008 --> 01:30:16,148
How does your wearing it
control the world's population?
1050
01:30:16,445 --> 01:30:19,619
Not just me...
millions wear it
1051
01:30:19,815 --> 01:30:21,795
They all borrow it from you?
1052
01:30:21,984 --> 01:30:23,861
No. Everyone has it
1053
01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:28,032
- I've a question
- Go on Tipsy, shoot
1054
01:30:28,457 --> 01:30:32,633
If money is dropped,
all run for it
1055
01:30:32,728 --> 01:30:38,007
If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?
1056
01:30:38,567 --> 01:30:40,911
Sex is a very private matter
1057
01:30:41,036 --> 01:30:42,515
Why?
1058
01:30:42,637 --> 01:30:46,016
You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today
1059
01:30:46,508 --> 01:30:51,514
But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bands
1060
01:30:51,546 --> 01:30:56,518
why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?
1061
01:30:58,620 --> 01:30:59,963
What's the matter?
1062
01:31:00,722 --> 01:31:05,694
I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you
1063
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,107
Thank you!
1064
01:31:09,097 --> 01:31:12,704
Let's beat it before
he changes his mind
1065
01:31:14,636 --> 01:31:17,082
Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness
1066
01:31:17,439 --> 01:31:19,441
My trident is on its way
1067
01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:26,751
At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to God
1068
01:31:26,882 --> 01:31:28,725
for solutions to their woes
1069
01:31:29,051 --> 01:31:31,930
Listen carefully to his calls
1070
01:31:32,020 --> 01:31:38,494
If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alefl him
1071
01:31:38,827 --> 01:31:42,468
- Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...
1072
01:31:42,531 --> 01:31:47,071
...the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote
1073
01:31:47,135 --> 01:31:50,207
Good plan. Let's go
1074
01:31:51,673 --> 01:31:54,745
To build a home for someone
is a holy deed
1075
01:31:54,809 --> 01:31:59,485
To build a home for God
is the holiest deed
1076
01:31:59,881 --> 01:32:02,589
So donate for the temple
1077
01:32:02,784 --> 01:32:05,594
And see
your woes flee
1078
01:32:06,421 --> 01:32:09,891
Son, voice your woe
1079
01:32:10,859 --> 01:32:12,167
Your Holiness,
1080
01:32:12,894 --> 01:32:15,500
my wife's been paralyzed
for six months
1081
01:32:15,764 --> 01:32:19,507
The doctors have given up.
What shall I...
1082
01:32:20,969 --> 01:32:22,607
God
1083
01:32:23,438 --> 01:32:24,712
Enlighten me
1084
01:32:31,780 --> 01:32:33,123
Yes...
1085
01:32:36,551 --> 01:32:38,724
What place?
1086
01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,538
What transport?
1087
01:32:48,063 --> 01:32:50,509
Your wish is our command
1088
01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:55,774
Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?
1089
01:32:55,837 --> 01:32:57,043
No
1090
01:32:57,539 --> 01:33:01,954
It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to Silliguri
1091
01:33:02,777 --> 01:33:05,553
then a bus to Gangtok
1092
01:33:06,414 --> 01:33:10,863
then an eight day trek
1093
01:33:11,486 --> 01:33:15,992
You'll reach a grand temple
1094
01:33:16,925 --> 01:33:20,099
Pray there,
your problem will be solved
1095
01:33:20,428 --> 01:33:22,738
Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!
1096
01:33:23,031 --> 01:33:24,908
- What?
- Wrong Number
1097
01:33:25,166 --> 01:33:30,616
Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput
1098
01:33:31,440 --> 01:33:33,511
Your calls are going to
a Wrong Number
1099
01:33:33,708 --> 01:33:37,554
and a fake God is
playing pranks
1100
01:33:37,679 --> 01:33:40,888
What are you trying to say?
1101
01:33:41,149 --> 01:33:44,062
I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?
1102
01:33:44,753 --> 01:33:45,731
Yes, so?
1103
01:33:45,921 --> 01:33:49,664
Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you
1104
01:33:49,991 --> 01:33:52,733
Will you help promptly,
or will you say
1105
01:33:52,861 --> 01:33:56,138
kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away
1106
01:33:56,464 --> 01:33:59,502
Come there, tell me
the same problem again
1107
01:33:59,701 --> 01:34:02,079
Then I'll solve it.
What bull!
1108
01:34:02,504 --> 01:34:07,715
If the call went to real God, He'd
say: Son, tend to your ailing wife,
1109
01:34:08,043 --> 01:34:10,523
don't run after me
1110
01:34:10,712 --> 01:34:13,716
after death
you'll come to me anyway
1111
01:34:13,848 --> 01:34:17,557
give her your time now. Right?
1112
01:34:21,756 --> 01:34:24,202
I can prove it's a prank
1113
01:34:24,526 --> 01:34:27,769
Call this fake God
again and ask
1114
01:34:28,029 --> 01:34:30,635
What's the guarantee
she will get well
1115
01:34:30,832 --> 01:34:34,905
Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side
1116
01:34:35,070 --> 01:34:38,051
Just call,
and clear all doubt
1117
01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:42,250
It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence
1118
01:34:44,012 --> 01:34:53,126
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1119
01:34:55,824 --> 01:35:00,796
This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead
1120
01:35:01,096 --> 01:35:04,043
He's playing a prank
1121
01:35:05,533 --> 01:35:08,070
He is no God.
He is a fraud
1122
01:35:08,737 --> 01:35:10,739
He is a FRAUD
1123
01:35:10,939 --> 01:35:14,614
God doesn't talk
to us mortals
1124
01:35:15,176 --> 01:35:18,885
He communicates
through His managers
1125
01:35:19,481 --> 01:35:22,826
- Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?
1126
01:35:24,219 --> 01:35:27,598
Is God really talking
to the managers?
1127
01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:28,565
No
1128
01:35:28,623 --> 01:35:32,833
So where do the commands
for us come from?
1129
01:35:33,128 --> 01:35:36,803
- From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?
1130
01:35:36,998 --> 01:35:40,810
Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers
1131
01:35:40,869 --> 01:35:43,577
Help each other
in difficult times
1132
01:35:43,872 --> 01:35:50,949
A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers
1133
01:35:51,145 --> 01:35:54,149
Rely on each other
1134
01:35:56,251 --> 01:36:00,097
Hail Lord Shiva
1135
01:36:01,523 --> 01:36:05,903
Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him
1136
01:36:06,027 --> 01:36:08,098
What's in your pocket?
1137
01:36:10,632 --> 01:36:13,476
- Do you smoke?
- Yes
1138
01:36:13,635 --> 01:36:17,777
- You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally
1139
01:36:17,973 --> 01:36:21,182
You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcohol
1140
01:36:21,209 --> 01:36:24,918
despite knowing
their fatal effects
1141
01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:27,987
Governments
permit these poisons,
1142
01:36:28,516 --> 01:36:33,693
factories manufacture them,
stores sell them
1143
01:36:33,788 --> 01:36:35,961
Nobody questions this
1144
01:36:36,191 --> 01:36:43,803
But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and Krishna
1145
01:36:43,898 --> 01:36:46,640
if I wish to build a temple
1146
01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:49,209
why these questions?
1147
01:36:50,038 --> 01:36:57,547
Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?
1148
01:36:57,779 --> 01:36:59,520
Who's this Tipsy?
1149
01:36:59,881 --> 01:37:01,952
What's his real name?
1150
01:37:03,218 --> 01:37:07,462
Why's he hiding it?
Is he a Muslim?
1151
01:37:08,056 --> 01:37:12,471
If question you must,
go ask Tipsy
1152
01:37:12,494 --> 01:37:14,098
what is his religion?
1153
01:37:14,529 --> 01:37:18,773
Find out his religion,
Find out his faith
1154
01:37:21,670 --> 01:37:24,651
Centuries ago,
Mohammad of Ghazni
1155
01:37:25,507 --> 01:37:27,544
came and destroyed
our temples
1156
01:37:28,009 --> 01:37:32,617
Today another invader
wants to repeat history
1157
01:37:32,780 --> 01:37:33,952
But we won't allow...
1158
01:38:00,875 --> 01:38:05,449
Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...
1159
01:38:05,547 --> 01:38:07,891
...the religions of these people
1160
01:38:07,982 --> 01:38:12,453
- What nonsense?
- Call up your God!
1161
01:38:12,487 --> 01:38:16,936
Why bother God?
I'll tell you
1162
01:38:17,158 --> 01:38:19,069
This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...
1163
01:38:19,494 --> 01:38:21,098
.. Sikh, Jain and...
1164
01:38:21,496 --> 01:38:24,136
.. that one is of your religion
1165
01:38:25,900 --> 01:38:28,608
Enlighten him
1166
01:38:29,003 --> 01:38:32,507
Hello. I'm Sikh
1167
01:38:32,741 --> 01:38:36,018
Greetings.
I'm Muslim
1168
01:38:36,477 --> 01:38:38,514
I'm Jain
1169
01:38:38,579 --> 01:38:40,957
Hi,
I'm Christian
1170
01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:44,825
Hello! I'm Hindu
1171
01:38:45,486 --> 01:38:46,794
Bamboozled!
1172
01:38:47,088 --> 01:38:50,797
I swapped their robes.
Get it?
1173
01:38:50,992 --> 01:38:52,994
Faith is connected
to fashion
1174
01:38:53,061 --> 01:38:56,167
Want a demo?
Check the math
1175
01:38:56,831 --> 01:38:59,573
Beard moustache turban = Sikh
1176
01:38:59,968 --> 01:39:02,676
Minus turban = Hindu
1177
01:39:02,837 --> 01:39:06,011
Minus moustache = Muslim!
1178
01:39:06,741 --> 01:39:09,745
This difference is
made by the fake God
1179
01:39:10,011 --> 01:39:12,491
If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us
1180
01:39:12,547 --> 01:39:15,551
- Is there a label on your body?
- Mine?
1181
01:39:15,617 --> 01:39:18,723
Don't gape, strip and check!
1182
01:39:19,020 --> 01:39:20,966
Why be coy?
1183
01:39:21,556 --> 01:39:26,471
Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
ls there any label?
1184
01:39:26,761 --> 01:39:30,675
Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first
1185
01:39:33,034 --> 01:39:35,674
See the bare facts
1186
01:39:36,805 --> 01:39:41,720
Is there a label?
1187
01:39:42,543 --> 01:39:44,022
Nothing! You see!
1188
01:39:44,212 --> 01:39:45,919
Check some more...
1189
01:39:46,514 --> 01:39:48,619
Remove this ruffian
1190
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:52,089
Hey!
I'm proving a point
1191
01:39:52,187 --> 01:39:54,189
Stan the chants!
1192
01:39:54,555 --> 01:39:57,058
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1193
01:39:57,191 --> 01:40:01,105
That's no divine bead
1194
01:40:09,003 --> 01:40:10,073
Jaggu!
1195
01:40:11,172 --> 01:40:12,674
Stop this farce!
1196
01:40:13,041 --> 01:40:14,042
Papa!
1197
01:40:16,477 --> 01:40:20,584
You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you
1198
01:40:20,715 --> 01:40:24,527
Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too
1199
01:40:25,086 --> 01:40:27,464
He named me
Jagat Janani
1200
01:40:27,689 --> 01:40:29,134
How can he ruin it further?
1201
01:40:29,523 --> 01:40:32,527
You!
Name your price
1202
01:40:32,760 --> 01:40:33,465
Papa!
1203
01:40:33,628 --> 01:40:36,507
Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money
1204
01:40:36,664 --> 01:40:37,142
No, no
1205
01:40:37,565 --> 01:40:42,480
You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!
1206
01:40:47,542 --> 01:40:50,079
Thank you Papa!
Thank you
1207
01:40:50,912 --> 01:40:54,553
I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together
1208
01:40:54,749 --> 01:40:56,490
Fear is the key
1209
01:40:56,684 --> 01:41:01,997
The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?
1210
01:41:02,590 --> 01:41:04,968
Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?
1211
01:41:05,059 --> 01:41:09,030
You bet! I can prove it.
Follow me
1212
01:41:10,432 --> 01:41:12,469
I don't have time
for this nonsense
1213
01:41:12,733 --> 01:41:16,738
If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show
1214
01:41:29,584 --> 01:41:33,896
Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff
1215
01:41:34,121 --> 01:41:39,070
Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory
1216
01:41:50,205 --> 01:41:52,708
Machine installed
1217
01:41:57,745 --> 01:42:00,624
A little seed capital
1218
01:42:04,485 --> 01:42:07,955
Now the inauguration
1219
01:42:17,065 --> 01:42:21,980
Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes
1220
01:42:27,909 --> 01:42:29,479
Look there
1221
01:42:31,546 --> 01:42:33,082
The first customer!
1222
01:42:33,781 --> 01:42:37,058
Tea... piping hot tea
1223
01:42:37,552 --> 01:42:39,828
Check the investment
of the tea vendor
1224
01:42:40,121 --> 01:42:43,568
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos
1225
01:42:43,891 --> 01:42:47,566
And here -
a rock and a red mark
1226
01:42:47,762 --> 01:42:49,571
Hot and piping tea...
1227
01:42:49,730 --> 01:42:51,903
There, you gotta
woo the clients
1228
01:42:52,133 --> 01:42:55,012
Here you shoo them away
1229
01:42:55,136 --> 01:42:59,516
Hey, scram.
Give others a chance
1230
01:43:02,009 --> 01:43:04,489
There you bow
before the customer
1231
01:43:04,578 --> 01:43:06,854
Here the customer
bows before you
1232
01:43:09,450 --> 01:43:13,523
If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal
1233
01:43:14,589 --> 01:43:18,969
The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear
1234
01:43:19,427 --> 01:43:22,465
He knows - those in dread
to the temple head
1235
01:43:23,064 --> 01:43:26,011
You too seem afraid!
Off with these...
1236
01:43:27,435 --> 01:43:29,881
Do not question religion
1237
01:43:30,538 --> 01:43:32,677
It's a matter of faith!
1238
01:43:32,873 --> 01:43:35,581
If God didn't want us
to raise questions
1239
01:43:35,677 --> 01:43:39,716
He wouldn't give us
the power to reason
1240
01:43:40,081 --> 01:43:43,927
Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us
1241
01:43:44,085 --> 01:43:48,056
They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent
1242
01:43:48,489 --> 01:43:53,063
So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand
1243
01:43:53,528 --> 01:43:56,008
Friends, pick up your phones
1244
01:43:56,464 --> 01:44:01,209
When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us
1245
01:44:01,736 --> 01:44:03,943
We'll put it on TV
1246
01:44:04,472 --> 01:44:07,009
Dump your fear,
ask questions
1247
01:44:16,083 --> 01:44:18,029
Holy Sir!
1248
01:44:18,519 --> 01:44:19,759
One question
1249
01:44:19,820 --> 01:44:22,130
If you can conjure gold
from thin air
1250
01:44:22,523 --> 01:44:25,163
why don't you end
the nation's poverty?
1251
01:44:25,560 --> 01:44:27,506
Answer please
1252
01:44:28,096 --> 01:44:29,097
Holy Sir!
1253
01:44:29,163 --> 01:44:34,044
Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?
1254
01:44:36,571 --> 01:44:38,881
God is great!
1255
01:44:39,106 --> 01:44:41,518
This is a Wrong Number
1256
01:44:41,642 --> 01:44:45,089
- Jaggu... come with me
- Cherry give me a moment
1257
01:44:45,513 --> 01:44:49,222
Come with me
1258
01:44:49,517 --> 01:44:51,258
The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage
1259
01:44:51,819 --> 01:44:55,164
- What!
- It's spread like wild fire
1260
01:45:00,695 --> 01:45:03,539
Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow
1261
01:45:03,731 --> 01:45:07,110
Is this cow
an employment agent?
1262
01:45:07,468 --> 01:45:11,075
Or posts CVs on Monstencom?
Wrong Number
1263
01:45:11,172 --> 01:45:12,480
Watch this one!
1264
01:45:12,773 --> 01:45:15,583
He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned
1265
01:45:15,910 --> 01:45:19,619
If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth
1266
01:45:19,980 --> 01:45:23,189
Why convefl now?
Wrong Number
1267
01:45:23,718 --> 01:45:25,595
These girls want to
go to school
1268
01:45:25,853 --> 01:45:28,959
A new dictat says:
kill them if they do
1269
01:45:29,123 --> 01:45:33,799
ls God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?
1270
01:45:34,495 --> 01:45:35,997
Wrong Number
1271
01:45:36,630 --> 01:45:39,975
What God has destined for you
will happen
1272
01:45:40,501 --> 01:45:44,574
He has a master plan
for the Universe
1273
01:45:45,006 --> 01:45:46,747
Accept it
1274
01:45:46,941 --> 01:45:51,549
Your disciples say:
to get a male child,
1275
01:45:51,679 --> 01:45:56,094
buy this book,
and chant the mantras
1276
01:45:56,517 --> 01:45:59,964
So buy a Rs 10 book
1277
01:46:00,021 --> 01:46:03,867
and bust
God's master plan!
1278
01:46:12,066 --> 01:46:16,208
Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in
1279
01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:18,141
Here's one more
1280
01:46:23,111 --> 01:46:24,488
What happened?
1281
01:46:25,179 --> 01:46:29,150
It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughter
1282
01:46:32,987 --> 01:46:35,695
I was in tenth grade
1283
01:46:36,891 --> 01:46:39,599
when I wrote my first poem
1284
01:46:40,161 --> 01:46:42,232
For Papa
1285
01:46:43,197 --> 01:46:48,704
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,
1286
01:46:49,537 --> 01:46:52,677
but I'm my Daddy's girl
1287
01:46:52,974 --> 01:46:55,511
I recited it
on the Annual Day
1288
01:46:55,977 --> 01:46:58,014
All parents clapped
1289
01:46:58,513 --> 01:47:02,518
but one whistled with joy
1290
01:47:03,651 --> 01:47:07,656
The applause ended,
the whistling continued
1291
01:47:08,622 --> 01:47:10,101
It was Papa
1292
01:47:10,658 --> 01:47:12,695
He was so proud of me
1293
01:47:14,061 --> 01:47:18,635
And now this message.
Ashamed of you
1294
01:47:19,166 --> 01:47:24,514
There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head
1295
01:47:25,105 --> 01:47:30,748
The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again
1296
01:47:31,111 --> 01:47:32,852
It won't happen
1297
01:47:33,514 --> 01:47:36,495
Don't be sad. Come with me
1298
01:47:36,517 --> 01:47:40,727
On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?
1299
01:47:41,088 --> 01:47:42,590
What?
1300
01:47:42,823 --> 01:47:45,599
Recharge the battery!
1301
01:47:45,826 --> 01:47:48,636
- What!
- Just copy me
1302
01:47:53,767 --> 01:47:55,508
What are we doing?
1303
01:48:01,509 --> 01:48:03,113
Shut your eyes!
1304
01:48:03,210 --> 01:48:04,951
How do I copy then?
1305
01:48:05,012 --> 01:48:06,923
Right.
Keep them open
1306
01:49:41,142 --> 01:49:44,146
To steal glances at you all clay
1307
01:49:44,545 --> 01:49:47,185
To strain for every word you say
1308
01:49:47,648 --> 01:49:50,595
To put every chore aside
1309
01:49:50,851 --> 01:49:53,832
And follow your every stride
1310
01:49:53,988 --> 01:49:56,662
That's nothing but a
waste of time
1311
01:49:57,091 --> 01:49:59,935
Love is a waste of time
1312
01:50:00,494 --> 01:50:02,940
Amore is nothing more
1313
01:50:03,497 --> 01:50:06,444
Love is a waste of time
1314
01:50:06,834 --> 01:50:09,838
But my mind and heart insist
1315
01:50:10,037 --> 01:50:12,881
Once in this life at least
1316
01:50:13,440 --> 01:50:15,716
I must waste my time
1317
01:50:16,043 --> 01:50:18,785
Without reason or rhyme
1318
01:50:19,180 --> 01:50:22,059
I want to waste my time
1319
01:50:22,483 --> 01:50:24,986
I love this waste of time
1320
01:50:42,102 --> 01:50:46,573
A zillion peeps into the mirror
1321
01:50:48,542 --> 01:50:53,184
A million times
I've styled my hair
1322
01:50:54,982 --> 01:51:00,125
Countless sets of
clothes I've tried
1323
01:51:01,489 --> 01:51:05,904
Emptied perfume
bottles with flair
1324
01:51:07,561 --> 01:51:13,443
Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile
1325
01:51:14,101 --> 01:51:16,945
Now I understand
1326
01:51:17,171 --> 01:51:19,913
That love is waste of time
1327
01:51:20,440 --> 01:51:23,444
But my mind and heart insist
1328
01:51:23,644 --> 01:51:26,648
Once in this life at least
1329
01:51:26,914 --> 01:51:29,485
I must waste my time
1330
01:51:29,650 --> 01:51:32,529
Without reason or rhyme
1331
01:51:32,886 --> 01:51:35,765
I want to waste my time
1332
01:51:36,056 --> 01:51:39,469
I love this waste of time
1333
01:52:14,895 --> 01:52:19,571
My world has
topsy-turvy turned
1334
01:52:21,602 --> 01:52:26,551
I know not how to tell you
1335
01:52:27,908 --> 01:52:32,914
I smile without rhyme
or reason
1336
01:52:34,114 --> 01:52:38,790
What's happening
I have no clue
1337
01:52:40,621 --> 01:52:46,469
The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yeH
1338
01:52:46,961 --> 01:52:53,071
Now! understand
Love is a waste of time
1339
01:52:53,467 --> 01:52:56,573
But my mind and heart insist
1340
01:52:56,704 --> 01:52:59,617
Once in this life at least
1341
01:52:59,840 --> 01:53:02,013
I must waste my time
1342
01:53:02,909 --> 01:53:05,515
Without reason or rhyme
1343
01:53:05,679 --> 01:53:08,751
I want to waste my time
1344
01:53:08,982 --> 01:53:12,486
I love this waste of time
1345
01:53:52,025 --> 01:53:55,199
The donation box is getting
more questions than cash
1346
01:53:55,629 --> 01:54:00,544
Your relics don't sell anymore
1347
01:54:00,935 --> 01:54:05,042
Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter
1348
01:54:06,606 --> 01:54:09,883
- Just five?
- Those are in support
1349
01:54:10,210 --> 01:54:12,190
The abuses are in here
1350
01:54:12,880 --> 01:54:19,058
It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous
1351
01:54:23,724 --> 01:54:25,226
Missing: God
1352
01:54:25,626 --> 01:54:27,037
Call Cherry Bajwa
1353
01:54:27,728 --> 01:54:31,608
Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one
1354
01:54:31,765 --> 01:54:34,712
- Hey Jaggu
- What happened?
1355
01:54:35,669 --> 01:54:39,082
His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy
1356
01:54:39,206 --> 01:54:41,982
- Tipsy'|| rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!
1357
01:54:42,209 --> 01:54:45,679
Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out
1358
01:54:45,946 --> 01:54:49,758
'The Fina! Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1359
01:54:51,652 --> 01:54:56,123
Don't miss, 'The Fina! Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1360
01:54:56,223 --> 01:55:01,070
My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star
1361
01:55:01,194 --> 01:55:04,971
Rock star was
roaming butt naked
1362
01:55:05,165 --> 01:55:10,478
I made him a star.
The bloke's on IV
1363
01:55:10,904 --> 01:55:17,014
and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shack
1364
01:55:17,477 --> 01:55:21,823
guzzling booze with
a jackass like you
1365
01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:24,088
Star my foot!
1366
01:55:40,133 --> 01:55:42,704
Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you
1367
01:55:42,970 --> 01:55:44,074
Bhairon!
1368
01:55:44,204 --> 01:55:46,047
Take that line
1369
01:55:47,507 --> 01:55:49,817
- Bro!
- You lusty lad
1370
01:55:50,010 --> 01:55:51,990
You're a rock star!
1371
01:55:52,112 --> 01:55:54,524
Bro, where are you?
1372
01:55:54,614 --> 01:55:57,720
In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow
1373
01:55:57,952 --> 01:56:00,728
With a gift for you
1374
01:56:01,054 --> 01:56:05,469
I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff
1375
01:56:05,725 --> 01:56:08,706
He sold it for 40 grand
1376
01:56:09,196 --> 01:56:11,540
- Guess to whom.
- Whom?
1377
01:56:11,999 --> 01:56:15,469
His Holiness!
1378
01:56:17,637 --> 01:56:24,612
God said." it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it...
1379
01:56:25,045 --> 01:56:30,859
.. and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...
1380
01:56:31,017 --> 01:56:32,496
Hey,
1381
01:56:33,687 --> 01:56:35,860
what happened?
1382
01:56:36,223 --> 01:56:40,035
The thief who stole
my remote is caught
1383
01:56:40,194 --> 01:56:41,696
What! Really?
1384
01:56:41,862 --> 01:56:47,210
Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness
1385
01:56:47,501 --> 01:56:49,208
Then His Holiness is finished!
1386
01:56:49,937 --> 01:56:53,783
We'll tell him -
return the remote,
1387
01:56:54,040 --> 01:56:56,520
or the thief tells all on TV
1388
01:56:57,110 --> 01:57:02,685
So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying
1389
01:57:03,684 --> 01:57:07,791
Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...
1390
01:57:08,188 --> 01:57:10,566
.. but by His Holiness
1391
01:57:12,893 --> 01:57:15,169
You knew this Jaggu?
1392
01:57:15,462 --> 01:57:17,772
Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number
1393
01:57:18,031 --> 01:57:23,003
All his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
1394
01:57:23,203 --> 01:57:27,948
I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum
1395
01:57:28,174 --> 01:57:31,951
If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you
1396
01:57:32,112 --> 01:57:34,217
People crave for the unique
1397
01:57:34,547 --> 01:57:36,083
Wrong Number!
1398
01:57:36,483 --> 01:57:39,191
Your Wrong Number
concept was unique
1399
01:57:39,586 --> 01:57:42,066
Today the world supports you
1400
01:57:42,189 --> 01:57:46,831
Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!
1401
01:57:51,565 --> 01:57:54,944
You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend
1402
01:57:55,168 --> 01:57:58,012
Whoosh... gone
1403
01:57:59,707 --> 01:58:02,586
We'll never meet again
1404
01:58:04,044 --> 01:58:07,116
There will be such a void
1405
01:58:08,448 --> 01:58:11,088
I'll really miss you
1406
01:58:12,853 --> 01:58:14,924
Shall I stay back?
1407
01:58:17,791 --> 01:58:20,465
How can you?
1408
01:58:21,127 --> 01:58:24,574
Simple,
I have a job
1409
01:58:25,031 --> 01:58:28,103
I'll get some ID made
and settle here
1410
01:58:28,602 --> 01:58:32,812
I'll find someone to
'waste time' with me
1411
01:58:33,473 --> 01:58:35,851
I'll marry her
1412
01:58:36,109 --> 01:58:38,851
- Who'll marn/ you!
- Why not?
1413
01:58:39,145 --> 01:58:43,685
Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -
1414
01:58:44,485 --> 01:58:48,023
Meet my husband.
He's Tipsy!
1415
01:58:48,989 --> 01:58:52,198
That's not my name!
1416
01:58:52,492 --> 01:58:55,098
- Tipsvvv!
- I'll get a real name
1417
01:58:56,497 --> 01:59:02,140
Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love
1418
01:59:02,903 --> 01:59:08,581
A man's name must
match his personality
1419
01:59:08,775 --> 01:59:10,448
Right!
1420
01:59:10,577 --> 01:59:13,080
So how is my personality?
1421
01:59:13,513 --> 01:59:15,459
I'll explain
1422
01:59:16,016 --> 01:59:18,690
A poet once wrote...
1423
01:59:20,453 --> 01:59:23,457
Irony of mismatched names...
1424
01:59:23,623 --> 01:59:26,900
No poetry, please!
I've something to say
1425
01:59:27,561 --> 01:59:32,010
Who says
‘What's in a name?‘
1426
01:59:33,567 --> 01:59:37,208
If you don't get the right one,
what a pain
1427
01:59:38,205 --> 01:59:42,153
Mr Burns is in fact so cool
1428
01:59:42,609 --> 01:59:45,488
With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule
1429
01:59:46,813 --> 01:59:52,491
His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail
1430
01:59:53,486 --> 01:59:58,060
“I love you Jaggu"
1431
01:59:58,491 --> 02:00:02,496
One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower
1432
02:00:02,963 --> 02:00:06,775
At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower
1433
02:00:06,934 --> 02:00:08,641
Very nice... very nice
1434
02:00:08,869 --> 02:00:12,476
Here's a bunch of cards
with different names
1435
02:00:12,773 --> 02:00:16,152
Pick the one you like
1436
02:00:16,476 --> 02:00:19,013
Dand u ram Thatte?
1437
02:00:19,546 --> 02:00:21,958
- Disaster!
- Next!
1438
02:00:22,716 --> 02:00:24,491
Tutari Singh?
1439
02:00:24,785 --> 02:00:26,560
Phooey!
1440
02:00:27,621 --> 02:00:29,123
Sarfaraz
1441
02:00:33,627 --> 02:00:36,164
- Sarfaraz...
- What happened?
1442
02:00:36,563 --> 02:00:39,237
Keep going,
find a good name
1443
02:00:42,702 --> 02:00:44,204
What's the matter?
1444
02:00:44,905 --> 02:00:46,578
Nothing
1445
02:01:38,992 --> 02:01:40,903
“I love you Jaggu"
1446
02:01:55,008 --> 02:01:56,783
Brother!
1447
02:02:29,442 --> 02:02:33,015
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1448
02:02:33,479 --> 02:02:36,756
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1449
02:02:37,450 --> 02:02:41,455
Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around
1450
02:02:41,588 --> 02:02:45,593
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1451
02:02:53,666 --> 02:02:57,113
Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand
1452
02:02:57,604 --> 02:03:01,609
Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand
1453
02:03:01,808 --> 02:03:06,086
Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound
1454
02:03:53,727 --> 02:03:57,072
A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast
1455
02:03:57,497 --> 02:04:00,637
They say this was
a mock drill
1456
02:04:01,100 --> 02:04:03,808
Persecute our people,
and real war will follow
1457
02:04:04,103 --> 02:04:07,084
We shall protect our God
1458
02:04:28,528 --> 02:04:30,701
Where are you
going, Tipsy?
1459
02:04:31,531 --> 02:04:32,737
On the show
1460
02:04:32,999 --> 02:04:35,036
You don't have to
1461
02:04:37,504 --> 02:04:39,950
I must.
More than ever
1462
02:04:54,554 --> 02:04:59,799
‘The Final Question’
Welcome to our special show
1463
02:04:59,992 --> 02:05:01,562
in which we meet Tipsy...
1464
02:05:01,628 --> 02:05:03,665
Wait a minute
1465
02:05:09,536 --> 02:05:11,482
Bring it
1466
02:05:16,943 --> 02:05:18,752
What is this?
1467
02:05:19,012 --> 02:05:23,688
God says: it's a divine bead
from His necklace
1468
02:05:23,950 --> 02:05:27,591
This man claims,
it's his property
1469
02:05:28,488 --> 02:05:31,833
God says: build a temple
1470
02:05:32,492 --> 02:05:35,871
And this man opposes it
1471
02:05:36,096 --> 02:05:41,569
Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentleman
1472
02:05:41,934 --> 02:05:47,714
who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?
1473
02:05:49,075 --> 02:05:52,113
First he claimed,
God is missing
1474
02:05:52,812 --> 02:05:54,792
Then said, God is a fraud
1475
02:05:55,015 --> 02:05:58,792
Next he'll say,
God is dead
1476
02:06:00,187 --> 02:06:05,728
What do you want, son?
A world without God?
1477
02:06:07,894 --> 02:06:12,502
Do you have any clue
how people suffer?
1478
02:06:12,832 --> 02:06:15,108
No food to eat
1479
02:06:15,802 --> 02:06:17,804
No place to live
1480
02:06:18,705 --> 02:06:21,515
No friend to talk to
1481
02:06:21,975 --> 02:06:28,620
People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings
1482
02:06:28,915 --> 02:06:32,920
Why?
Because they have no hope
1483
02:06:33,486 --> 02:06:37,935
If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,
1484
02:06:38,691 --> 02:06:43,504
wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,
1485
02:06:43,697 --> 02:06:48,510
then who are you
to snatch away that hope?
1486
02:06:48,968 --> 02:06:57,080
And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?
1487
02:06:58,011 --> 02:07:02,050
This man rants about
Wrong Numbers
1488
02:07:02,515 --> 02:07:08,193
Today he must tell us:
what is the Right Number?
1489
02:07:16,029 --> 02:07:19,101
You are right, Your Holiness
1490
02:07:19,866 --> 02:07:25,475
There was a time
I too had no food to eat
1491
02:07:26,105 --> 02:07:27,914
No place to live
1492
02:07:28,541 --> 02:07:33,615
I cried a lot
because I had no friend
1493
02:07:34,981 --> 02:07:38,190
I had only one hope then -
1494
02:07:40,753 --> 02:07:42,596
God
1495
02:07:43,589 --> 02:07:46,729
Each day I hoped:
tomorrow will be better
1496
02:07:47,026 --> 02:07:49,836
God will find a solution
1497
02:07:51,631 --> 02:07:58,241
I agree
belief in God gives hope,
1498
02:07:59,672 --> 02:08:03,814
the strength to face ordeals
1499
02:08:04,944 --> 02:08:07,515
But I have one question
1500
02:08:10,516 --> 02:08:13,463
Which God shall I believe in?
1501
02:08:14,454 --> 02:08:17,697
You say there is ONE God
1502
02:08:18,624 --> 02:08:20,604
I say no
1503
02:08:21,594 --> 02:08:23,073
There are T\NO Gods
1504
02:08:24,630 --> 02:08:26,769
One who created us
1505
02:08:28,534 --> 02:08:32,175
And the other
whom you created
1506
02:08:33,105 --> 02:08:36,518
We know nothing about
the God who made us
1507
02:08:36,876 --> 02:08:41,655
But the God YOU made up,
is just like you
1508
02:08:41,948 --> 02:08:46,556
Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises
1509
02:08:46,653 --> 02:08:50,692
Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting
1510
02:08:51,024 --> 02:08:54,494
Thrives on flatten].
Makes you live in fear
1511
02:08:56,529 --> 02:08:58,770
My Right Number is simple
1512
02:09:00,199 --> 02:09:04,909
The God who created us all,
believe in Him
1513
02:09:06,472 --> 02:09:09,783
The God YOU created -
1514
02:09:10,710 --> 02:09:12,917
abolish him
1515
02:09:13,179 --> 02:09:14,658
Yes!
1516
02:09:15,047 --> 02:09:19,052
You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?
1517
02:09:19,519 --> 02:09:23,558
I know how to
protect my God
1518
02:09:23,723 --> 02:09:25,634
You will protect God?
1519
02:09:26,192 --> 02:09:28,103
You!
1520
02:09:28,494 --> 02:09:30,064
This is a puny planet
1521
02:09:30,796 --> 02:09:33,709
Billions of bigger planets
float in space
1522
02:09:33,900 --> 02:09:38,747
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to say
1523
02:09:38,938 --> 02:09:42,647
you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?
1524
02:09:43,709 --> 02:09:48,488
He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself
1525
02:09:51,951 --> 02:09:57,526
Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died
1526
02:09:58,491 --> 02:10:01,131
This is all that's left -
his shoe
1527
02:10:01,828 --> 02:10:04,104
Stop protecting God
1528
02:10:04,664 --> 02:10:08,043
Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes
1529
02:10:08,467 --> 02:10:10,777
A Muslim terrorist
blows up a train
1530
02:10:11,671 --> 02:10:17,053
and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice
1531
02:10:17,443 --> 02:10:22,222
What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label
1532
02:10:23,483 --> 02:10:26,157
You created these differences.
Not God
1533
02:10:26,919 --> 02:10:32,892
This is the deadliest
Wrong Number ofthis planet
1534
02:10:33,093 --> 02:10:35,835
It kills people,
separates them
1535
02:10:36,195 --> 02:10:41,144
Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz
1536
02:10:41,467 --> 02:10:47,474
- What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray
1537
02:10:47,707 --> 02:10:50,153
He did betray her
1538
02:10:50,476 --> 02:10:54,788
- What's going on?
- Hold it
1539
02:10:56,782 --> 02:11:03,996
You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?
1540
02:11:04,190 --> 02:11:05,430
Exactly!
1541
02:11:05,491 --> 02:11:09,633
Then prove it -
prove my prophecy wrong!
1542
02:11:09,762 --> 02:11:14,177
Failing that,
fall at my feet and admit
1543
02:11:14,533 --> 02:11:18,481
that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me
1544
02:11:19,072 --> 02:11:21,143
What if I prove it?
1545
02:11:21,541 --> 02:11:23,179
Tipsy... don't!
1546
02:11:29,148 --> 02:11:30,889
Then this is yours
1547
02:11:36,923 --> 02:11:38,527
I accept
1548
02:11:38,958 --> 02:11:43,737
Turn the cameras towards
Jagat Janani
1549
02:11:49,902 --> 02:11:56,615
I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully
1550
02:11:59,011 --> 02:12:04,085
In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy
1551
02:12:05,551 --> 02:12:06,757
True or false?
1552
02:12:07,053 --> 02:12:09,465
Please spare my personal life
1553
02:12:09,589 --> 02:12:18,065
On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you
1554
02:12:18,531 --> 02:12:22,877
The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's office
1555
02:12:23,436 --> 02:12:25,109
but he didn't show up
1556
02:12:25,705 --> 02:12:28,083
True or false?
1557
02:12:28,174 --> 02:12:31,553
Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this
1558
02:12:32,945 --> 02:12:39,089
Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?
1559
02:12:39,519 --> 02:12:43,467
- Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!
1560
02:12:43,522 --> 02:12:46,025
No. Tell us
what happened that day
1561
02:12:46,459 --> 02:12:47,733
Please!
1562
02:12:47,894 --> 02:12:51,535
Just once,
for my sake
1563
02:12:56,469 --> 02:12:59,507
I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office and
1564
02:12:59,805 --> 02:13:01,648
a letter was brought to me
1565
02:13:01,708 --> 02:13:03,949
Did Sarfaraz bring it?
1566
02:13:05,811 --> 02:13:09,953
No.
He sent it through a kid
1567
02:13:10,149 --> 02:13:13,096
- Was it signed?
- No
1568
02:13:13,419 --> 02:13:17,094
How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?
1569
02:13:20,159 --> 02:13:24,539
It could have been
for some other girl
1570
02:13:27,066 --> 02:13:31,742
There was another girl.
With a cat, right?
1571
02:13:33,706 --> 02:13:37,677
She gave you the cat
to hold for a while
1572
02:13:38,644 --> 02:13:42,456
The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?
1573
02:13:42,582 --> 02:13:45,461
- No!
- Did you know him?
1574
02:13:45,851 --> 02:13:46,761
No
1575
02:13:46,853 --> 02:13:50,596
Then how would he know
the letter was for you?
1576
02:13:51,790 --> 02:13:58,503
Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat
1577
02:14:00,633 --> 02:14:07,050
You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz
1578
02:14:07,640 --> 02:14:09,881
Did you?
1579
02:14:10,676 --> 02:14:17,821
Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray
1580
02:14:18,151 --> 02:14:20,529
Sarfaraz didn't betray you
1581
02:14:20,653 --> 02:14:21,927
What's going on?
1582
02:14:22,521 --> 02:14:27,493
You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?
1583
02:14:27,527 --> 02:14:28,767
One minute
1584
02:14:29,128 --> 02:14:33,201
We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz
1585
02:14:33,533 --> 02:14:35,672
Hurry up!
1586
02:14:37,770 --> 02:14:41,217
This number does not exist
1587
02:14:42,075 --> 02:14:45,522
Any other number?
Friend, college, something?
1588
02:14:45,711 --> 02:14:48,783
- C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University
1589
02:14:53,218 --> 02:14:55,061
- Hello.
- Hello!
1590
02:14:55,121 --> 02:14:59,160
I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students
1591
02:14:59,525 --> 02:15:01,004
Sarfaraz Yousuf
1592
02:15:01,093 --> 02:15:03,539
Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year
1593
02:15:04,530 --> 02:15:05,907
Has he left a number?
1594
02:15:05,965 --> 02:15:08,639
Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information
1595
02:15:08,868 --> 02:15:10,575
This is really important
1596
02:15:10,636 --> 02:15:13,549
E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs
1597
02:15:13,806 --> 02:15:15,183
Have a nice day dear
1598
02:15:15,507 --> 02:15:17,214
His Pakistan number?
1599
02:15:17,477 --> 02:15:20,549
- Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darling
1600
02:15:21,480 --> 02:15:23,926
I work at the
Pakistan Embassy
1601
02:15:24,483 --> 02:15:27,054
His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium
1602
02:15:27,753 --> 02:15:29,994
Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium
1603
02:15:30,055 --> 02:15:32,501
- Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers
1604
02:15:35,761 --> 02:15:37,672
Greetings.
Pakistan Embassy
1605
02:15:38,197 --> 02:15:39,733
Hello
1606
02:15:41,233 --> 02:15:44,544
A student from Lahore
worked with you
1607
02:15:44,737 --> 02:15:48,583
- Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- Is your name Jaggu?
1608
02:15:51,177 --> 02:15:53,680
Hello... is your name Jaggu?
1609
02:15:54,113 --> 02:15:55,786
How do you know?
1610
02:15:56,148 --> 02:15:59,891
She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called
1611
02:16:00,019 --> 02:16:01,760
Farah, it's Jaggu calling
1612
02:16:01,821 --> 02:16:05,462
Mr Sayyed, hum],
it's Jaggu's call from India
1613
02:16:05,691 --> 02:16:08,171
On the double everyone!
1614
02:16:10,930 --> 02:16:16,744
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, even] day at 9 am
1615
02:16:17,670 --> 02:16:21,743
And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:
1616
02:16:22,074 --> 02:16:26,887
Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?
1617
02:16:27,113 --> 02:16:30,151
We say "No",
and he disconnects
1618
02:16:30,550 --> 02:16:32,496
He's driven us crazy
1619
02:16:32,685 --> 02:16:35,256
Wait.
I'll connect you to him
1620
02:16:50,669 --> 02:16:51,773
Hello...
1621
02:16:52,705 --> 02:16:55,914
- Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking
1622
02:16:56,208 --> 02:17:00,122
- Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?
1623
02:17:00,613 --> 02:17:05,562
- Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?
1624
02:17:05,985 --> 02:17:09,762
Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?
1625
02:17:10,089 --> 02:17:14,469
Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt
1626
02:17:15,661 --> 02:17:17,698
Pardon me?
1627
02:17:19,198 --> 02:17:21,576
You have a call from Delhi
1628
02:17:27,473 --> 02:17:30,010
Please speak here
1629
02:17:30,576 --> 02:17:32,817
Hello...
1630
02:17:33,713 --> 02:17:36,523
Sarfaraz...
1631
02:17:39,785 --> 02:17:41,526
Jaw“ - - -...
1632
02:17:43,522 --> 02:17:44,967
Hello...
1633
02:17:46,092 --> 02:17:49,232
.. hello Jaggu,
what's the matter?
1634
02:17:51,096 --> 02:17:53,576
Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?
1635
02:17:53,599 --> 02:17:57,513
I had,
but you had left
1636
02:17:58,203 --> 02:18:00,046
Why didn't you call?
1637
02:18:00,272 --> 02:18:05,620
I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'
1638
02:18:06,545 --> 02:18:09,025
I knew you were
under family pressure
1639
02:18:09,148 --> 02:18:15,656
But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me
1640
02:18:18,023 --> 02:18:21,527
What took you so long?
1641
02:18:22,461 --> 02:18:26,705
I am sorn].
I had your Wrong Number
1642
02:18:33,973 --> 02:18:38,581
Just got the right number
from a friend
1643
02:19:04,036 --> 02:19:05,743
Thank you son
1644
02:19:40,640 --> 02:19:42,517
Here, hold this
1645
02:20:06,632 --> 02:20:09,943
Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?
1646
02:20:10,135 --> 02:20:14,914
- Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?
1647
02:20:15,140 --> 02:20:19,088
Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded
1648
02:20:19,478 --> 02:20:20,752
What sounds?
1649
02:20:21,013 --> 02:20:25,519
Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking
1650
02:20:25,650 --> 02:20:27,960
Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?
1651
02:20:28,186 --> 02:20:33,135
Now and then -
when I miss this planet
1652
02:20:35,561 --> 02:20:39,008
Hey, wait!
There's one more bag
1653
02:20:39,098 --> 02:20:40,668
Forget it, Tipsy!
1654
02:20:40,732 --> 02:20:44,544
You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries
1655
02:20:44,703 --> 02:20:47,081
Wait!
1656
02:20:50,075 --> 02:20:53,522
Driver... please stop!
1657
02:21:07,025 --> 02:21:10,837
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
1658
02:21:12,031 --> 02:21:15,171
And they roam around naked?
1659
02:21:16,702 --> 02:21:19,706
Why are you staring?
Something on my face?
1660
02:21:23,842 --> 02:21:29,451
I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,
1661
02:21:30,982 --> 02:21:32,825
for Papa
1662
02:21:33,885 --> 02:21:39,198
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...
1663
02:21:46,698 --> 02:21:50,544
Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts
1664
02:21:53,005 --> 02:21:54,916
Pal, you're really cute
1665
02:21:56,708 --> 02:22:00,155
Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy
1666
02:22:01,046 --> 02:22:04,926
Who says
"What's in a name?"
1667
02:22:06,051 --> 02:22:10,124
No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking
1668
02:22:10,889 --> 02:22:14,029
Every tape had
just my voice
1669
02:22:21,733 --> 02:22:23,770
“I love you Jaggu"
1670
02:22:28,173 --> 02:22:29,880
Got it!
1671
02:22:35,180 --> 02:22:37,786
He sure made me run!
1672
02:22:40,986 --> 02:22:44,456
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?
1673
02:22:44,890 --> 02:22:47,996
Told you -
crows, traffic honking
1674
02:23:00,472 --> 02:23:04,750
Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes
1675
02:23:05,978 --> 02:23:11,587
And wave at you.
Like this
1676
02:23:13,719 --> 02:23:17,633
Will you wave back...
now and then?
1677
02:23:19,625 --> 02:23:22,606
Haven't you recorded my voice?
1678
02:23:22,961 --> 02:23:25,532
Your voice?
1679
02:23:25,864 --> 02:23:30,040
I think I have...
that one poem you recited
1680
02:23:31,136 --> 02:23:33,946
One poem? That's it?
1681
02:23:36,975 --> 02:23:39,581
I'm not exactly
in love with you...
1682
02:23:39,945 --> 02:23:42,983
.. to waste all my time
over you!
1683
02:24:01,900 --> 02:24:05,109
He didn't look back.
Not once
1684
02:24:05,503 --> 02:24:07,676
He was hiding his tears
1685
02:24:08,573 --> 02:24:13,545
One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us
1686
02:24:13,912 --> 02:24:16,552
He learnt from us
how to He...
1687
02:24:16,915 --> 02:24:21,091
.. and taught us
how to love
1688
02:24:22,020 --> 02:24:25,024
He loved me enough
to let me go
1689
02:24:25,690 --> 02:24:31,003
He came here naked.
As children do
1690
02:24:32,130 --> 02:24:37,978
Asked a lot of questions.
As children do
1691
02:24:40,105 --> 02:24:43,211
And then one day...
1692
02:24:44,710 --> 02:24:47,816
.. he went away
1693
02:24:48,646 --> 02:24:53,095
Four billion miles away
1694
02:24:54,519 --> 02:24:58,661
He left me two parting gifts
1695
02:25:00,526 --> 02:25:02,767
Sarfaraz
1696
02:25:03,561 --> 02:25:06,474
and Papa
1697
02:25:08,567 --> 02:25:15,746
Till I live... even] night I'll look
at his planet and wave
1698
02:25:17,776 --> 02:25:22,623
I'm sure,
he'll do the same
1699
02:25:25,550 --> 02:25:28,588
I miss him
1700
02:26:07,191 --> 02:26:11,606
Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth
1701
02:26:11,663 --> 02:26:15,736
Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments
1702
02:26:15,967 --> 02:26:18,846
One:
Do not roam around naked
1703
02:26:19,137 --> 02:26:24,644
Cuddling, making love etc.
must be done in closed rooms
1704
02:26:24,776 --> 02:26:28,724
But fighting, making war etc.
is allowed in the open
1705
02:26:29,013 --> 02:26:32,756
Two." Beware of language,
it's confusing
1706
02:26:32,817 --> 02:26:36,663
If Earfhfings say,
'I love chicken and fish, '
1707
02:26:36,821 --> 02:26:40,496
it doesn't mean
they love animals,
1708
02:26:40,725 --> 02:26:45,071
but that animals are
on the lunch menu
1709
02:26:45,497 --> 02:26:50,139
The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research
1710
02:26:50,768 --> 02:26:54,511
Three: On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes
1711
02:26:54,572 --> 02:27:01,751
Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thieves
1712
02:27:01,980 --> 02:27:05,086
Four: the mother commandment
1713
02:27:05,150 --> 02:27:09,621
If anyone says:
H! connect you to God,
1714
02:27:09,788 --> 02:27:14,168
dump the research, take a U-tum
and run for your life
1715
02:27:26,738 --> 02:27:29,548
Come, don't be afraid
1716
02:27:34,679 --> 02:27:37,489
What are you goggling at?
1717
02:27:38,083 --> 02:27:40,893
- I have a question.
- What?
1718
02:27:41,986 --> 02:27:46,765
On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?
1719
02:27:54,699 --> 02:27:57,509
- What's this?
- Self-defense!
1720
02:27:57,769 --> 02:27:59,874
Safety gadgets?
1721
02:28:00,105 --> 02:28:03,575
- Let's go.
- Not there! This way
1722
02:28:03,708 --> 02:28:04,778
Kaput!