1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,457 --> 00:00:03,750 I know, right? 2 00:00:03,775 --> 00:00:05,843 Nice dress. Where's that from? 3 00:00:05,868 --> 00:00:06,890 This that new-new. 4 00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:09,000 Too exclusive for you-you. 5 00:00:09,025 --> 00:00:10,777 And that's what I get for being nice. 6 00:00:10,813 --> 00:00:13,023 Many have tried, Mel, but my swagger 7 00:00:13,024 --> 00:00:14,858 cannot be jacked... 8 00:00:14,859 --> 00:00:16,443 - Oh, my God, Ava! - No. 9 00:00:16,444 --> 00:00:17,944 Twinsies! 10 00:00:17,945 --> 00:00:20,947 - Oh, wow. - I needed this. 11 00:00:20,948 --> 00:00:23,241 Oh, my goodness. Oh, this is just too good. 12 00:00:23,242 --> 00:00:24,868 We have to take a picture. 13 00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:27,579 What... You know, I told Gregory when I tried this on, 14 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:30,540 I said, "Gregory," I said, "this dress is so me." 15 00:00:30,541 --> 00:00:34,377 But now I look at you, and it's so we. 16 00:00:34,378 --> 00:00:37,631 Hear me when I say, we nothing. 17 00:00:37,632 --> 00:00:40,342 Doctor Evil. Mini Me. Good morning. 18 00:00:40,343 --> 00:00:42,135 Good morning. Alright, here we go. 19 00:00:42,136 --> 00:00:44,471 Portrait mode, please. OMG, this is so fun! 20 00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:46,723 OMG, I'm inspired. 21 00:00:46,724 --> 00:00:49,226 I'm gonna post it like one of those tabloid magazines. 22 00:00:49,251 --> 00:00:50,842 Oh, yeah, like "Who wore it better?" 23 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,395 Exactly. Okay. Ready? 24 00:00:52,396 --> 00:00:55,523 Who wore what better? 25 00:00:55,524 --> 00:00:57,609 How is that even possible? 26 00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:59,194 I know, right? 27 00:01:01,906 --> 00:01:06,376 - Synced and corrected by synk - - 00:05:16,743 Uh-huh. 144 00:05:16,744 --> 00:05:17,785 Tell them what you told me. 145 00:05:17,786 --> 00:05:19,078 - The district... - Got tipped off 146 00:05:19,079 --> 00:05:20,455 that something shady is going down at Abbot. 147 00:05:20,456 --> 00:05:21,873 Oh. 148 00:05:21,874 --> 00:05:23,082 Keep going. 149 00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:24,542 - They asked... - Him if he knew anything 150 00:05:24,543 --> 00:05:26,377 because he does IT here. 151 00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:28,588 Don't stop now. 152 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,964 They're coming to investigate tomorrow, 153 00:05:29,965 --> 00:05:31,549 and we think that it was Crystal who told them. 154 00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:33,259 - Oh. - That's a wrap on the grift. 155 00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:35,428 Ooh, it was just a matter of time. 156 00:05:35,429 --> 00:05:37,263 Well, we had a nice run. 157 00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:39,849 All good cons must come to an end. 158 00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:42,560 O-Okay, now wait just a dang-on minute. 159 00:05:42,561 --> 00:05:44,187 My kids are really excited 160 00:05:44,212 --> 00:05:46,130 about the spellers the golf course was getting me. 161 00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:48,072 Yeah, and Janine didn't ask for anything all year. 162 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,141 That type of integrity deserves... one bribe. 163 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,876 Thank you. And they don't have proof, right? 164 00:05:53,906 --> 00:05:55,406 They're coming here to find it. 165 00:05:55,407 --> 00:05:57,784 So now that we know they're coming, we can prepare. 166 00:05:57,785 --> 00:05:59,786 And what do you suggest we do? 167 00:05:59,787 --> 00:06:03,164 This place is crawling with contraband. 168 00:06:03,165 --> 00:06:05,792 I don't know, maybe we can stay after school today 169 00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,585 and hide all the stuff we've gotten. 170 00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:10,588 And, you know, they come audit. Nothing seems out of place. 171 00:06:10,589 --> 00:06:13,216 And then we put all the stuff back after they leave. 172 00:06:13,217 --> 00:06:14,968 - Brilliant. - I've heard worse plans. 173 00:06:14,969 --> 00:06:16,594 - Yeah, I'm down. - Oh, what the hell. 174 00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:19,389 Why not. O'Shon? 175 00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:22,183 Oh, uh, I was never here and know nothing, 176 00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:25,562 but if I was and I did, I'd say, "Sounds good." 177 00:06:25,563 --> 00:06:27,814 And I'd say, "Say less," but you already did. 178 00:06:27,815 --> 00:06:29,315 Hot. 179 00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:30,656 Here's the deal. 180 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,628 Melissa has a teamster bringing a truck at 4:00. 181 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,404 We load up all the stuff the golf course gave us. 182 00:06:34,405 --> 00:06:35,633 When the district comes tomorrow, 183 00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:37,424 we look like the broke school we are in our hearts. 184 00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:40,076 The computers, scoreboard, it's gonna take all night. 185 00:06:40,077 --> 00:06:42,704 No, if everyone helps, it'll be like three, four hours tops. 186 00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:45,039 Yeah, I'm sure Barbara and Mr. Johnson are gonna be 187 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,294 a huge help loading dozens of computers into a truck. 188 00:06:51,171 --> 00:06:52,630 You think I'm too old to whoop your ass 189 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:54,382 - in front of your girl? - Oh. 190 00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:55,759 No, sir. 191 00:06:57,511 --> 00:07:00,305 Pick up that mop. 192 00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:01,682 Yes, sir. 193 00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,943 - What? - That's what I thought. 194 00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:20,992 - I think you can stop now... - Shh, shh, shh. 195 00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:22,201 I'm good. 196 00:07:22,202 --> 00:07:23,911 Welcome to Abbott Elementary. 197 00:07:23,912 --> 00:07:26,497 You are heading here to administration, 198 00:07:26,498 --> 00:07:29,334 where we will meet up with Principal Coleman. 199 00:07:29,335 --> 00:07:31,419 Oh, good morning. How can I help you? 200 00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:33,004 Guys, this is Dia. She runs this place... 201 00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,339 We'd like to speak with Principal Coleman. 202 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,007 - Now. - Please. 203 00:07:36,008 --> 00:07:38,426 Of course. She's just right in her... office. 204 00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:41,304 Let me... 205 00:07:41,305 --> 00:07:43,097 The district. 206 00:07:43,098 --> 00:07:45,266 What are y'all doing here so early? 207 00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,518 i-in the day? 208 00:07:47,519 --> 00:07:49,156 Y'all just work so hard. 209 00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:51,873 Ava, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, we're here on serious business. 210 00:07:51,899 --> 00:07:54,233 We received a credible tip that Abbott Elementary might be 211 00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:56,986 receiving a high amount of unsanctioned donations. 212 00:07:58,238 --> 00:07:59,864 But that would be against district rules. 213 00:07:59,865 --> 00:08:01,866 I know. I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding. 214 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:05,495 Regardless, we'll be doing a thorough walk-through of the school. 215 00:08:05,496 --> 00:08:06,656 Oh. 216 00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:10,100 Well, hate to see your time wasted, but... 217 00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:12,936 I'm so happy that the district is here. 218 00:08:14,713 --> 00:08:16,648 Oh, my God. They're here? 219 00:08:16,673 --> 00:08:19,023 Did she just say that the district is... 220 00:08:20,803 --> 00:08:22,012 Oh 221 00:08:23,542 --> 00:08:26,890 Everybody, the district. The district, everybody. 222 00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:29,286 You guys remember the famous Janine when she worked with us. 223 00:08:29,311 --> 00:08:30,686 She's got the best nickname, 224 00:08:30,687 --> 00:08:32,772 but now is probably not the best time. 225 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,148 - Yeah. - She would definitely know better 226 00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:35,566 than to take any contraband. 227 00:08:37,403 --> 00:08:39,445 Contraband? At Abbott? 228 00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:40,863 We barely have pens. 229 00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:42,164 You have pens? 230 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,593 I had to make notes with my eyeliner this morning. 231 00:08:44,618 --> 00:08:45,827 We're going into every classroom... 232 00:08:45,828 --> 00:08:47,412 - Bathroom, lunchroom... - Rec room 233 00:08:47,413 --> 00:08:49,914 so we can do a proper investigation. 234 00:08:49,915 --> 00:08:51,374 Well, just let us know how we can help. 235 00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:53,501 Yes. Yes, yes, yes. It'd probably be more efficient 236 00:08:53,502 --> 00:08:56,879 to start on the third floor in Morton's classroom, right? 237 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,757 Oh, talk about your dire straits. 238 00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:02,510 - Materially, spiritually. - Romantically. 239 00:09:02,511 --> 00:09:06,180 It would be great if we could focus on the task at hand. 240 00:09:06,181 --> 00:09:08,516 - We're not here to judge. - Well, you haven't met him yet. 241 00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:10,733 - We're here to audit. - With scrutiny. 242 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,927 Absolutely. Let's head there. 243 00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,791 I'm actually excited to see what the third floor looks like. 244 00:09:16,984 --> 00:09:19,068 - Nice meeting you. - Hi! 245 00:09:19,069 --> 00:09:21,154 Our secret's safe with Morton since he's not in on it. 246 00:09:21,155 --> 00:09:22,864 He hasn't gotten a thing from the golf course. 247 00:09:22,865 --> 00:09:24,157 When they knock, he'll probably think 248 00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:27,201 he's being served divorce papers again and flee on foot. 249 00:09:27,202 --> 00:09:28,536 No car, so... 250 00:09:28,537 --> 00:09:30,329 - Oh. - Okay, here's the plan. 251 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,874 As they work their way down, we stay one step ahead of them. 252 00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:35,042 We gather up everything the golf course has given us 253 00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:36,669 and hide whatever will fit into Melissa's safe 254 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:37,837 or Mr. Johnson's closet. 255 00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:39,839 But I have kindergartners to watch. 256 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,966 Right, okay, so you stay with them. 257 00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:43,342 I'll have my class double up with Janine's, 258 00:09:43,343 --> 00:09:44,802 and we'll just rotate hiding duty. 259 00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:46,471 - Yeah. - Okay. I'll man the admin computers, 260 00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:48,681 but just in case, youse guys know Morse code, right? 261 00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:50,183 Mm... Okay, you know what? 262 00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:52,852 It's never been my best subject, but I will take the gym. 263 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,770 And I'll go hide the white kid. Anyone have bronzer? 264 00:09:54,771 --> 00:09:57,273 - Hey. - Oh, my. 265 00:09:57,274 --> 00:09:59,264 Yay. Fun. 266 00:09:59,289 --> 00:10:02,671 You know what's better than one class, guys? A joint class. 267 00:10:02,696 --> 00:10:04,363 You're gonna have so much fun with Mr. Eddie. 268 00:10:04,364 --> 00:10:06,324 Yes, 53 kids in one class. 269 00:10:06,325 --> 00:10:08,034 So fun. 270 00:10:08,035 --> 00:10:11,120 - Yes. - Are you and Miss Teagues married? 271 00:10:11,121 --> 00:10:13,289 - Please hurry. - I will. 272 00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:14,457 Stop having so much fun 273 00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:16,334 with all the fancy, new equipment. 274 00:10:16,335 --> 00:10:18,920 Yep, I will take that. 275 00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:20,171 Watch out, Mr. C! 276 00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:21,548 Ah! 277 00:10:24,218 --> 00:10:26,260 Sorry. 278 00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:30,348 Aah, we need to get rid of the beanbags. 279 00:10:30,349 --> 00:10:32,099 On it. This isn't my first raid. 280 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,851 Okay. Excuse me. 281 00:10:33,852 --> 00:10:35,353 Hi. Sorry, sorry. 282 00:10:35,354 --> 00:10:37,355 Um, hi. I'm sorry. 283 00:10:37,356 --> 00:10:38,397 No, I'm sorry. You have to... 284 00:10:38,398 --> 00:10:40,952 I'm sorr... You got to get up! 285 00:10:45,197 --> 00:10:47,365 Hey, Wendall, you got anything from the golf course in here? 286 00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:49,033 Oh, damn. 287 00:10:49,034 --> 00:10:51,327 When'd this state-of-the-art stove come in? 288 00:10:51,328 --> 00:10:53,120 Hey, we all got needs. 289 00:10:53,121 --> 00:10:55,957 And I needs the kids to try my cacio e pepe. 290 00:10:55,958 --> 00:10:57,708 Oh, wow. You know, a lot of times 291 00:10:57,709 --> 00:10:59,877 people add the Pecorino too soon. Makes it gummy. 292 00:10:59,878 --> 00:11:03,381 This is nice and creamy. Well done. 293 00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:05,466 But we gotta hide the evidence. Mr. Johnson, get rid of that. 294 00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:07,134 Don't mind if I do. 295 00:11:07,135 --> 00:11:09,887 And here we have our cafeteria. 296 00:11:09,888 --> 00:11:13,015 Nothing fancy. We do okay. Our kids barely eat. 297 00:11:13,016 --> 00:11:15,685 Huh. Smells good in here. 298 00:11:15,686 --> 00:11:17,103 Too good, one might say. 299 00:11:17,104 --> 00:11:19,522 I'll say it. It smells too good in here. 300 00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:21,190 What gives? 301 00:11:21,191 --> 00:11:22,400 Nuggets. 302 00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:24,068 - Can we take a look back there? - Yeah. 303 00:11:24,069 --> 00:11:27,321 Not with those gators on. Crocs-only kitchen. 304 00:11:27,322 --> 00:11:29,282 Health code thing. 305 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,950 What do you think we're hiding back there? 306 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,577 A Michelin-star chef? 307 00:11:34,788 --> 00:11:35,913 How about I show you the rest of the... 308 00:11:35,914 --> 00:11:37,999 Yeah, uh, we'll circle back here. 309 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,959 We don't need a guided tour. We'll just bop around. 310 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,878 - Oh, I'm happy... - Do our own thing. 311 00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:45,048 That feels good. Mm-hmm. 312 00:11:49,453 --> 00:11:51,596 I'm gonna need to take that. It looks expensive. 313 00:11:51,597 --> 00:11:53,472 You will do no such thing. It's mine. 314 00:11:53,473 --> 00:11:54,640 Barbara, the district is gonna think 315 00:11:54,641 --> 00:11:55,748 you got it from the golf course. 316 00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:57,143 Well, that is preposterous. 317 00:11:57,144 --> 00:12:01,731 My aching joints and I need this hand massager now. 318 00:12:01,732 --> 00:12:05,985 And might I emphasize, it's mine. 319 00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:07,278 Do you have a receipt for it? 320 00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:09,447 They e-mailed it to me, so no. 321 00:12:09,448 --> 00:12:11,449 I'm so sorry, Barbara. Hey. I'm sorry. Sorry. 322 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,159 You... You... JULIAN: Mrs. Howard, 323 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,662 Amelia drew a poop on my paper. 324 00:12:16,663 --> 00:12:18,999 Oh. And I have to poop. 325 00:12:21,376 --> 00:12:23,377 Hey, how's it going? Okay, I've secured the computers 326 00:12:23,378 --> 00:12:24,629 on the second and third floor. 327 00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:26,422 Ava's taking the district by the library, 328 00:12:26,423 --> 00:12:28,466 so I have time to handle this floor. We should be good. 329 00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:30,051 They decided they'd lead their own tour, 330 00:12:30,052 --> 00:12:31,677 which isn't a tour, but okay. 331 00:12:31,678 --> 00:12:35,640 Okay. Oh, bad. Bad. Bad. 332 00:12:35,641 --> 00:12:37,516 I notice you're wearing pants. 333 00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:39,477 Funny enough, I'm wearing a pair, too. 334 00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:41,812 Small world. Excuse me, sir. 335 00:12:41,813 --> 00:12:43,648 Funny you should say that. 336 00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:46,901 Did you know that the phrase "excuse me" was invented by a janitor? 337 00:12:46,902 --> 00:12:49,779 It was 1953, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. 338 00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:51,697 Actually, it's pronounced Beaver "Fulls" 339 00:12:51,698 --> 00:12:54,283 as the sharp "A" hadn't been popularized yet. 340 00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:57,453 You know what? The origin actually goes back way further. 341 00:12:57,454 --> 00:12:59,622 You know, linguistically, we're talking. 342 00:12:59,623 --> 00:13:02,124 And that's just part of the legend. 343 00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:04,753 Think we're... we're gonna scooch in here. 344 00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:08,958 Good job distracting them, Mr. Johnson. 345 00:13:09,257 --> 00:13:10,759 Distracting who? 346 00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:14,970 - Come on. - We got 'em all. 347 00:13:14,971 --> 00:13:16,138 Okay, I got like five minutes 348 00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:17,807 before one of my kids breaks something, 349 00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:19,058 so what are we doing with these bad boys? 350 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:21,310 'Cause my safe and Mr. J's closet are full. 351 00:13:21,311 --> 00:13:23,145 Yeah, 'cause maybe I'm biased, 352 00:13:23,146 --> 00:13:24,855 but right outside the principal's office 353 00:13:24,856 --> 00:13:26,148 is literally the worst place. 354 00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:28,025 Guys, the best option is the basement. 355 00:13:28,026 --> 00:13:29,485 The basement? 356 00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:31,612 It's got suspicious activity written all over it. 357 00:13:31,613 --> 00:13:33,906 Then what are we supposed to do? 358 00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:35,908 Mm, there is one place. 359 00:13:35,909 --> 00:13:37,159 Look, I'm about to tell you something, 360 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,577 but you can't be mad at me or complain, 361 00:13:38,578 --> 00:13:40,287 because I'm saving the day. 362 00:13:40,288 --> 00:13:41,622 I have a secret bathroom in the basement. 363 00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:42,665 - Ava! - What? 364 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:43,816 What did I just say? 365 00:13:43,841 --> 00:13:45,644 Now, come on. We gotta move the computers. 366 00:13:45,669 --> 00:13:47,044 Right. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 367 00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:48,879 Close the door. Close the door. 368 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,048 Girl. 369 00:13:51,049 --> 00:13:53,050 - Hey. - Hello. 370 00:13:53,051 --> 00:13:54,635 What are you all doing down here? 371 00:13:54,636 --> 00:13:57,096 Oh, just, uh, checking the rat traps. 372 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,056 Oh, yeah, they're empty, but not for long. 373 00:13:59,057 --> 00:14:00,683 Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it seems like 374 00:14:00,684 --> 00:14:02,059 you've been through the whole school, though. 375 00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,395 Well, everything does look copacetic. 376 00:14:04,396 --> 00:14:06,522 Oh, great. Looks like your job is done here... 377 00:14:06,523 --> 00:14:09,108 Although we still have two places left, your office... 378 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,110 - And the gym. - Be my guest. 379 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,195 Your hospitality's been lights-out, though, Ava. 380 00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:15,364 - I mean it. Amazing. - Thank you, Manny. 381 00:14:15,365 --> 00:14:16,983 Yeah. Alright. 382 00:14:17,008 --> 00:14:19,511 Jacob! You got everything out of the gym, right? 383 00:14:19,536 --> 00:14:21,412 - Yep! - Okay, great. 384 00:14:21,413 --> 00:14:22,913 - Wait. - Damn it. 385 00:14:22,914 --> 00:14:24,707 The scoreboard. 386 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,584 Oh, great. Something small. 387 00:14:26,585 --> 00:14:27,793 You gotta start looking up, Jacob. 388 00:14:27,794 --> 00:14:28,878 - Go, go, go. - I know. 389 00:14:28,879 --> 00:14:31,213 - Damn it. - I know. I know. 390 00:14:31,214 --> 00:14:33,632 Okay. How are we supposed to get rid of a scoreboard? 391 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,092 I don't have a Persian rug this big. 392 00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:36,302 Guys, we don't have time. 393 00:14:36,303 --> 00:14:38,053 The district could be here any second. 394 00:14:38,054 --> 00:14:40,222 We gotta... We gotta just make it disappear. 395 00:14:40,223 --> 00:14:43,142 Damn it. I can't remember one magic trick under this pressure. 396 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,977 - Okay, so I got this. Right? - Yes. 397 00:14:44,978 --> 00:14:46,687 Oh. Oh. And then... Ooh, tall. 398 00:14:46,688 --> 00:14:48,898 Yeah, just step back. Why don't you let a pro do it? 399 00:14:48,899 --> 00:14:51,442 Okay. Barb, Jacob, hold the ladder. 400 00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:52,443 - Greg, spot me. - Got it. 401 00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:53,527 Got you. 402 00:14:53,528 --> 00:14:54,695 Hey, Barb, while I got you, 403 00:14:54,696 --> 00:14:55,821 are you really taking over music class? 404 00:14:55,822 --> 00:14:57,072 Hey, Jacob, while I got you, 405 00:14:57,073 --> 00:14:58,157 why don't you mind your own beeswa... 406 00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,075 Ow! MELISSA: Ohh! 407 00:15:00,076 --> 00:15:02,536 Father God, why hast thou forsaken me?! 408 00:15:02,537 --> 00:15:03,788 Oh, my God, Barb. 409 00:15:03,789 --> 00:15:05,831 This day could not get any worse! 410 00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:06,999 Come down safely but quickly. 411 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,626 - Got it. There you go. - Yes. 412 00:15:08,627 --> 00:15:10,294 - Okay. - Yes. Good job, Melissa. 413 00:15:10,295 --> 00:15:11,504 Yay! Okay, okay, okay. 414 00:15:11,505 --> 00:15:13,255 Move the... Move... Move it away. 415 00:15:13,256 --> 00:15:14,298 Barbara, are you okay? 416 00:15:14,299 --> 00:15:15,758 - No, I'm not okay. - What happened? 417 00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:16,926 - You stepped on me. - You stepped on her. 418 00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:18,385 - And here we are... - I am so sorry. 419 00:15:18,386 --> 00:15:20,763 our very bare gym. 420 00:15:20,764 --> 00:15:22,765 See? Ready to move on? 421 00:15:22,766 --> 00:15:26,852 And why is that still up? 422 00:15:26,853 --> 00:15:29,980 It's neither 2009... Nor Christmas. 423 00:15:29,981 --> 00:15:32,274 Allow me. 424 00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:34,819 You see, back in 2009, 425 00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:37,613 we were in the midst of a subprime mortgage crisis. 426 00:15:37,614 --> 00:15:41,646 But actually, you contract that crisis back to a single fish. 427 00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:42,828 - No way. - You know what? We're good. 428 00:15:42,829 --> 00:15:46,163 - A fish? - I said we're done. 429 00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:47,373 Hmm. 430 00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:48,808 See ya. 431 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,854 Okay, but respectfully, I told you guys. I know Abbott. 432 00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:54,421 They're always on the up and up. 433 00:15:54,422 --> 00:15:56,090 Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone. 434 00:15:56,091 --> 00:15:58,342 We felt we had a credible tip. 435 00:15:58,343 --> 00:16:00,719 We will get out of your way now. 436 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,388 - Bye, you guys. - Take care, now. 437 00:16:02,389 --> 00:16:04,223 - Come back anytime. - Bye-bye. 438 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:07,142 The Abbott Supply Fairy has returned! 439 00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:10,688 Coming in hot with some fresh bribes 440 00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:12,606 for my number one scheming school. 441 00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:15,067 Today's menu? These random spellers. 442 00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:18,237 Pricier than I thought, but you can't put a price on silence. 443 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,989 Oh, man. More teachers. 444 00:16:19,990 --> 00:16:22,199 How much do these kids need to learn? Jesus. 445 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,660 Uh, we're not teachers. We're from the district. 446 00:16:24,661 --> 00:16:26,161 Oh. Well, it's hard to tell. 447 00:16:26,162 --> 00:16:27,955 You guys should carry yourselves with more confidence. 448 00:16:27,956 --> 00:16:30,040 So what, you guys gonna start blackmailing me, too? 449 00:16:30,041 --> 00:16:31,792 - Oh, my God. - Wait, you're saying 450 00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:34,587 that Abbott Elementary has been blackmailing you for supplies? 451 00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:37,006 Which part don't you get? 452 00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:39,550 Which of you is responsible for this? 453 00:16:39,551 --> 00:16:43,722 Yeah, any teacher found to be taking bribes will be suspended. 454 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,208 None of the teachers had anything to do with this. 455 00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:53,397 It was all me. 456 00:16:53,398 --> 00:16:55,399 Ava, you did this? 457 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,902 Yeah. So just go ahead and give me my suspension, 458 00:16:57,903 --> 00:16:59,695 and I'll... I'll go to Cabo. 459 00:16:59,696 --> 00:17:02,990 Are you sure it was only you? 460 00:17:02,991 --> 00:17:03,991 Well... 461 00:17:03,992 --> 00:17:06,118 Please. 462 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,788 Do any of them look like they have the brains to pull this off? 463 00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:13,417 In that case, Ava, I really hate to do this, 464 00:17:13,418 --> 00:17:15,502 but we have to relieve you of your duties. 465 00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:17,379 Yeah. For how long? 466 00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:18,839 For good. 467 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,341 You're fired. 468 00:17:20,342 --> 00:17:21,383 - What? - Wait, you... 469 00:17:21,384 --> 00:17:23,010 You said it was just a suspension. 470 00:17:23,011 --> 00:17:24,762 That's when we thought that a teacher was responsible. 471 00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,680 Teachers are annoyingly hard to fire, 472 00:17:26,681 --> 00:17:27,806 thanks to your union. 473 00:17:27,807 --> 00:17:29,600 However, principals? 474 00:17:29,601 --> 00:17:31,852 It's a piece of cake. 475 00:17:31,853 --> 00:17:33,562 Pack your things, Miss Coleman. 476 00:17:33,563 --> 00:17:35,898 - This... This isn't fair, okay? - Yeah, you have to reconsider. 477 00:17:35,899 --> 00:17:37,274 Ava doesn't deserve this. 478 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:38,901 She's done wonders for this place. 479 00:17:38,902 --> 00:17:41,153 - And she loves our kids. - Guys, I'm sorry, 480 00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:43,614 but the district has a zero tolerance policy 481 00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:45,115 when it comes to administrators. 482 00:17:45,116 --> 00:17:47,159 The protocols are very clear on this. 483 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,788 Of course, we'll also be confiscating all bribes, 484 00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:52,831 wherever you've hidden them. 485 00:17:52,832 --> 00:17:54,625 And every red penny we gave you 486 00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:56,294 at the district budget meeting. 487 00:17:59,881 --> 00:18:02,509 Cool. But, um, I can go, right? 488 00:18:04,469 --> 00:18:05,970 Take that as a yes. 489 00:18:05,971 --> 00:18:07,847 Stay golden, Dia. 490 00:18:09,307 --> 00:18:11,725 Don't worry. I'm gonna do what I always do. 491 00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:13,018 I'm gonna put on my thinking cap, 492 00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:15,229 and I am going to figure out a way to solve this. 493 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,022 Think, damn it. 494 00:18:17,023 --> 00:18:19,608 They've already e-mailed me a letter of termination. 495 00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:21,194 It's over. 496 00:18:22,696 --> 00:18:24,697 I'll allow one tear. 497 00:18:24,698 --> 00:18:26,407 Just wait till I'm not looking. 498 00:18:26,408 --> 00:18:28,264 Alright, Dia. 499 00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:30,415 Come on. Grab your stuff. We out of here. 500 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,817 I don't work for you. 501 00:18:32,956 --> 00:18:34,957 I work for the school. 502 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:37,751 You've said it before, but... 503 00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:39,629 sounds like you mean it this time. 504 00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:45,260 Ava, I'm really sorry, but I think you have to leave your badge. 505 00:19:02,485 --> 00:19:04,696 Ava. Ava. 506 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:10,534 Ava, quite honestly, I thought this would have happened much sooner. 507 00:19:10,535 --> 00:19:12,745 I thought that you were too selfish 508 00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:14,455 to really care about our students. 509 00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:18,751 I thought that we would all be so much better off without you. 510 00:19:18,752 --> 00:19:20,502 But... 511 00:19:20,503 --> 00:19:24,131 now I see how wrong I've been. 512 00:19:24,132 --> 00:19:27,885 Actually, I've been seeing it for a long time. 513 00:19:27,886 --> 00:19:29,428 Well, thank you. 514 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,056 And, Barb, I didn't ask you to teach the music class 515 00:19:32,057 --> 00:19:34,308 to make your job harder. 516 00:19:34,309 --> 00:19:37,936 I just... I know you've been tired, and... 517 00:19:37,937 --> 00:19:39,396 sometimes doing something you love 518 00:19:39,397 --> 00:19:42,608 is the kind of thing that can reinvigorate educators. 519 00:19:42,609 --> 00:19:44,360 Yeah. 520 00:19:44,361 --> 00:19:47,154 And to make my job easier, but... 521 00:19:47,155 --> 00:19:49,907 Now I'm unemployed. 522 00:19:49,908 --> 00:19:51,993 Never too late to become a sugar baby. 523 00:19:55,038 --> 00:19:56,915 Coleman out. 524 00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:03,018 There are no guarantees in this career, only challenges. 525 00:20:03,379 --> 00:20:05,714 But the trick is to find a way 526 00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:08,959 to deal with those pesky challenges. 527 00:20:08,984 --> 00:20:11,819 I've watched Ava step out of her comfort zone 528 00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:14,890 into true leadership, 529 00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:17,643 and I'm feeling I should follow her lead 530 00:20:17,644 --> 00:20:20,354 by stepping outside of mine. 531 00:20:24,779 --> 00:20:26,693 Mrs. Howard, are you filling in? 532 00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:30,280 Actually, I'm... 533 00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:31,693 taking over permanently. 534 00:20:31,718 --> 00:20:33,260 That's awesome. I thought I'd never get 535 00:20:33,285 --> 00:20:35,011 to have you as a teacher again. 536 00:20:35,036 --> 00:20:36,912 Oh. 537 00:20:45,028 --> 00:20:47,315 Style section, naturally. 538 00:20:47,340 --> 00:20:49,341 Mm, just gonna take the whole thing. 539 00:20:49,342 --> 00:20:51,426 Yeah. 540 00:20:57,433 --> 00:20:58,725 What the hell? 541 00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:01,019 Oh, yeah, the word got out. 542 00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:02,938 But, you know, the hype's gonna die down. 543 00:21:02,939 --> 00:21:04,815 And once everyone forgets about it, 544 00:21:04,816 --> 00:21:06,608 that's when I swoop in and call dibs. 545 00:21:06,609 --> 00:21:09,194 That's how my sister bagged her first husband. 546 00:21:09,195 --> 00:21:10,850 No cuts, Tiny. You after me. 547 00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:13,502 No, no, no. We agreed on spot savesiez. 548 00:21:13,527 --> 00:21:14,861 He could go get a snack 549 00:21:14,886 --> 00:21:16,803 as long as he got me my phone from my classroom. 550 00:21:16,828 --> 00:21:18,496 You're after me. 551 00:21:18,521 --> 00:21:21,006 But you're not gonna wanna be! 552 00:21:23,211 --> 00:21:27,211 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.MY-SUBS.com -