0
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:10,500
{\move(10,10,190,230,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\candH000000

1
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:26,202
{\move(400,10,190,270,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\candHFF0000

1
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:33,124
SMALL TOWN KILLERS

2
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:47,707
Well...

3
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:50,749
So, all you think about is sex?

4
00:00:50,875 --> 00:00:53,374
His head is bursting with sex thoughts.

5
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:58,874
Gritt, let's let Ib answer for himself.
I think Ib is able to.

6
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:03,707
Well, answer for yourself, Ib. Tell
Aniannani that your head is full of sex.

7
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:08,374
No, no, I do sometimes have
other thoughts in my head.

8
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,540
If I ask him to water the plants,
he gets a hard-on.

9
00:01:11,666 --> 00:01:15,124
- Oh?
- He can't even reach the window sill.

10
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,540
Oh my.

11
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:20,874
It's only because
I think she's so gorgeous.

12
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,665
Well, that's great, Gritt.
Isn't it?

13
00:01:25,791 --> 00:01:30,707
You have a man who wants you.
I'm sure many women would envy you that.

14
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:34,374
Sure, but does everything have
to be about sex all the time?

15
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,374
The public domain is crammed with sex.

16
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,207
- You can't even open a magazine.
- No...

17
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:44,707
If I go online to find a good offer,
I get a picture of a wiener.

18
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:46,915
Yuckie.

19
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:50,290
And if you can't even
go to your own house -

20
00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:54,040
- and lie down in your own bed without
being confronted with sex there, too...

21
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:57,790
Where the devil will it end?

22
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:02,624
Hi there, you hot piece of ass.

23
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:05,290
Hi.

24
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,665
So, who are you then?

25
00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:10,665
Oh, I'm just Ingrid's ass.

26
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,582
Oh, I see.

27
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:16,790
How would you like me to grope you?

28
00:02:16,916 --> 00:02:18,457
Well, go ahead.

29
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:23,915
Stop talking to my butt as if
it's a pet. You'll confuse Little Per.

30
00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:27,040
You're making me nervous.
It's sick, Edward.

31
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,374
Why do you have to rehearse
that fancy-pants dance every night?

32
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:33,082
Fancy-pants dance?
Salsa is an art form.

33
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:37,457
But then again, your head isn't filled
with art but stone wool, more like it.

34
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:41,790
When was the last time we fucked?
When was it?

35
00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:45,999
- Do you know your Danish history?
- Sure. I live with the Grauballe Man.

36
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,915
- That bog body gets more sex than me.
- Call Ib.

37
00:02:50,041 --> 00:02:54,624
- I'm not in the mood for sex with Ib.
- Don't you have to go to work?

38
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:58,124
You and Ib and your wieners.

39
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:01,832
Maybe they'll let you
have a go after work.

40
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,915
Don't be embarrassed about being a man.

41
00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:26,832
But I think about sex all the time.

42
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:31,624
It's because you never get laid.

43
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:35,249
If you did, you wouldn't
think about it all the time.

44
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,499
It's like breathing.

45
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:40,790
If you were sitting in a submarine
running out of oxygen -

46
00:04:40,916 --> 00:04:42,999
- you'd think about breathing
all the time.

47
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:46,540
Women don't understand
that sex is our way of breathing.

48
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,999
Our dick is kinda like our third lung.

49
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:54,249
Gritt still wants to have kids,
but I'm not keen on it.

50
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:58,499
Of course not. They climb into bed
and lie in the crack.

51
00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:04,332
Kids are crap.
There's no upside to it. None at all.

52
00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:07,457
There's nothing doing with Ingrid.
She doesn't want to have sex.

53
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:10,415
Even if I promise
it'll only take 15 seconds.

54
00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:14,790
So, problems at home?

55
00:05:14,916 --> 00:05:18,499
The bricks are on back order,
Mrs. Hansen. It's a load of bull.

56
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:21,249
But aren't bricks always available?

57
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:25,415
Bricks aren't just bricks,
as I've told you once before.

58
00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:30,915
- I just need a new wall.
- Right, and Rome was built in a day.

59
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:35,540
I clean forgot.
Thanks for reminding me, Mrs. Hansen.

60
00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,124
Thanks a lot.

61
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:40,124
There are two kinds of customers.

62
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,040
With one kind,
you're only in it for the cool cash.

63
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:46,249
With the other kind, like you,
you put your heart into it.

64
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:49,832
- And finish the job!
- Yes, absolutely.

65
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,582
Van Gogh didn't paint for the money.
He painted with his heart.

66
00:05:53,708 --> 00:05:57,874
Are you quite sure
you've got time for this?

67
00:05:59,791 --> 00:06:01,999
Hey, there's our radio and stuff.

68
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:05,915
We wouldn't leave our radio and stuff
here ifwe weren't working here.

69
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:09,415
Ib has been on the phone all morning
about those bricks.

70
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:12,999
We almost gave up on you,
but then, your radio and stuff are here.

71
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:17,457
- Honestly, have you got time for this?
- No...

72
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:20,040
- Look, Steen.
- Henrik.

73
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:24,915
There are two kinds of customers. With
one kind, you're in it for the cash.

74
00:06:25,041 --> 00:06:27,874
- With the other, you put this into it.
- Your heart.

75
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,249
That's what you said a month ago.

76
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:40,624
I thought you wanted the bill dealt with
under the table.

77
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,832
Didn't they want the bill dealt with
under the table? I thought so.

78
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:55,124
But, Steen,
we'll do it by the book. No worries.

79
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,165
It's gonna cost you, but if you want
to upgrade to Business Class -

80
00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:03,415
- we'll do it. We can upgrade Steen
and Pernille to Business Class, right?

81
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:09,915
Sure. You get to sit up front with
champagne and silverware everywhere.

82
00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:13,499
No, no, that's not
what we want, right, Henrik?

83
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:16,082
No, no.

84
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:21,082
- We'll just wait.
- Or we can wait. Whatever you want.

85
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:26,999
We've filled the book for the next six
months. How manyjobs are undeclared?

86
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:29,540
Just about half a million kroner.

87
00:07:33,708 --> 00:07:37,582
Ingrid is faking it the other way round.

88
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,999
- The few times I get to sneak it in.
- The other way round?

89
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:46,207
She pretends not to come, but she does.
I can tell that she's coming, Ib.

90
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:50,249
She stuffs her hand in her mouth
and thinks I don't notice.

91
00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:57,624
But she's coming alright.
She's coming hard.

92
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:01,040
- But why does she do that?
- So I won't see I give her pleasure.

93
00:08:01,166 --> 00:08:03,749
Oh no, Heinz.

94
00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:11,040
Hey there, Laurel and Hardy.
Hans and Fritz.

95
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:14,499
Or what are the names of
the two guys from Dumb and Dumber?

96
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:18,999
- Harry and Lloyd.
- Exactly. How's life, Harry and Lloyd?

97
00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:23,707
Careful or you might shoot yourself
in the thigh with that thing.

98
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:27,749
This thing...
is a Korth Combat. 357 Magnum.

99
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:31,499
It goes by another name, too.
"Responsibility".

100
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:34,082
The responsibility for making sure
citizens can sleep at night.

101
00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:37,749
- Do you tuck in?
- Terrorists don't sleep at night.

102
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:40,457
Some people have to be vigilant, 24-7.

103
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:44,749
You may very well ask:
What's gonna happen in Nibe?

104
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:50,457
We go to work, watch X Factor, drive
scummy cars and eat humid sandwiches.

105
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,999
Peace and quiet everywhere.

106
00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:55,457
But that's just
what they want us to believe.

107
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:58,915
Nibe doesn't even show up
on Google Earth.

108
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:03,207
It's one big grey pixel. The little
yellow man can't move an inch.

109
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:08,832
Anyway, what would the terrorists
blow up? The local bus stop?

110
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:16,749
- What do you need all those radios for?
- You can learn a lot from the radio.

111
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:20,082
I just checked up on your tax returns.

112
00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:24,999
Your little juggernaut of a company
sure rakes in money.

113
00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:27,999
- 125,000 kroner a year.
- That much?

114
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:30,457
Not bad.

115
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,082
You're frigging pathetic.

116
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:36,999
Your wives drive Mercedes
and dance in high heels with Malte -

117
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:41,040
- while you sit here looking like a
couple of early retirees from Bulgaria.

118
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:45,124
Dumb and Dumber.
Don't make me laugh.

119
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:53,790
Your right tail light is out.
Have a nice day.

120
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:59,790
Come here, my angels.
Come.

121
00:10:00,708 --> 00:10:06,582
We may be in a small town,
but we don't think small -

122
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:10,165
- because salsa is in-ter-na-tio-nal.

123
00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:14,582
Understand? When we shake
our booties to salsa in Nibe -

124
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:18,665
- they shake their booties
to salsa in Cuba or Rio -

125
00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:20,999
- in exactly the same way.

126
00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:25,249
We're one big family.
One big pulse -

127
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:29,082
- beating away inside of us -

128
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:32,415
- men and women.

129
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:37,915
We started this class
when fate brought me to Nibe.

130
00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:44,290
And I saw all these withered Danes
under the grey sky.

131
00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:47,207
Then something happened.

132
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:52,207
Suddenly you grew
into goddamn towering tulips.

133
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:56,165
Up through the frozen earth,
and you blossomed -

134
00:10:56,291 --> 00:11:00,790
- and tasted
the sweet pain of the salsa.

135
00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:05,707
Desire and sensuality.

136
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:12,790
And now, dear friends,
it's time to "haul ass", as you say.

137
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:15,999
- Are you ready to haul ass?
- Yes!

138
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:19,374
Five, six, seven, eight.

139
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:32,249
Come to Papa!

140
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:45,165
Salsa for Papi!

141
00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:57,707
Malte is such a breath offresh air.

142
00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:01,499
It doesn't matter if you're from
Nibe or Hollywood.

143
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,915
You grow with him.
I feel I've grown.

144
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:07,790
Malte has helped us grow, hasn't he?

145
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:12,290
If Malte wasn't gay,
I bet he'd be a fantastic lover.

146
00:12:12,416 --> 00:12:13,290
Hey!

147
00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:16,082
You can be a good lover
even though you're abnormal.

148
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,874
- Got anything against gays?
- Edward's afraid of gays.

149
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,499
I just don't get gay sex.
Two little bald men headbutting away.

150
00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:27,999
- Men have a hole too.
- Made for something else.

151
00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:31,124
Oh, I don't know.
Ib often circles around that hole.

152
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,582
- Come on, Gritt!
- Like a hungry cat around a pâté.

153
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,624
But that's one way
to avoid having children.

154
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,999
When Edward and I loved each other,
we talked about children, too -

155
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,040
- but then we got Little Per.

156
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:47,582
- Little Per is your surrogate child.
- Hell no!

157
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:52,915
Is it wrong, if your husband's sperm
quality is okay, to look for a donor?

158
00:12:53,041 --> 00:12:58,582
Women should be free to use the sperm
they want. And Ib doesn't want kids.

159
00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:02,457
Try talking a bit louder.
Table 5 can't hear you.

160
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,999
- It must be hard with a guy his size.
- For fuck's sake!

161
00:13:06,125 --> 00:13:11,624
I often think about it when I see you
side by side. He's huge and you're tiny.

162
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,249
- How does he...
- Get it in?

163
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:18,832
- Yes, technically.
- Well, he only manages to peek in.

164
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,207
- Kinda like the Little Match Girl.
- "Hullo!"

165
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,124
In a little turtleneck.

166
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:35,374
It's all down to position. No guy can
get in from all corners of the world.

167
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,874
And it's down to how wide
the woman can spread her legs.

168
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,332
- What do you mean, Edward?
- Is this wine sour?

169
00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:47,999
It's sour!
Bent, what kind of red wine is this?

170
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:53,082
It is...

171
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:56,499
It is...

172
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,499
It is -

173
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:03,207
- a red wine.

174
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:07,582
- Well, I can see that. It's red.
- Leave Bent alone.

175
00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:11,249
- Fine, Bent. Thanks.
- You're welcome.

176
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:15,332
Who the hell hires a spazz as a waiter?
How does he serve soup?

177
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:20,249
- I'd like to announce to the table...
- Good thing he isn't a brain surgeon.

178
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:25,582
I have no problem spreading my legs.
I could do the splits until recently.

179
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:30,165
Gritt's parents thought for a long time
that Gritt would become a model -

180
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:34,790
- but then she stopped growing
at the age of 12.

181
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:39,332
Right!

182
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:43,999
I guess five-foot tall models
aren't in huge demand -

183
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:47,874
- unless it's for a hobbit movie.

184
00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:54,499
But hey, good for fairy Malte
that he makes you grow and grow -

185
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:58,457
- and believe that Hollywood
is located in the church -

186
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:02,082
- every day between 8 and 10 p. m.

187
00:15:13,708 --> 00:15:18,207
- Ib, we're done with this shit.
- What do you mean?

188
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:23,665
Heinz is right.
We are Dumb and Dumber.

189
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:29,374
But we're still young, Ib.
We've got money -

190
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:34,332
- and we've worked our asses off
ever since we got kicked out of school.

191
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:38,165
Let's go to Phuket.
We can live like kings there.

192
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:40,499
We deserve better.

193
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:45,665
I didn't like the atmosphere in there.
It got a little embarrassing.

194
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:50,040
Yeah, just a little perhaps.
You're right, Ib.

195
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:54,249
And we won't get any pussy tonight,
anyway.

196
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,665
Precisely.

197
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:04,999
We lead an empty and pussy-less life.

198
00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:12,249
- Let's get a divorce.
- You mean that?

199
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,332
I sure as hell do!

200
00:16:19,166 --> 00:16:22,249
- Who recommended me to you?
- No one.

201
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:25,082
You were the cheapest hit
on PriceRunner.

202
00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:31,040
- You want a divorce?
- Yes. It's gone all Bulgarian on us.

203
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:34,749
- It's gotten boring.
- Any infidelity?

204
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:38,999
Not unless dancing with a sissy Swede
qualifies as infidelity.

205
00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:42,374
- So is that you?
- Me?

206
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,999
Who dances around
with a sissy Swede?

207
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:47,999
We're not the ones getting a divorce.
Hell no.

208
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:53,207
- No, we're married to our wife.
- To the same woman? But you can't!

209
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:56,082
- No, we've got one each.
- I see.

210
00:16:56,208 --> 00:17:00,207
So you want to divorce your wives
so you two can get married?

211
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:02,999
No, we just want to divorce them.

212
00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:06,665
We thought we'd save money
ifwe chipped in.

213
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:10,832
- Chipped in?
- Yeah, for you.

214
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,832
- Yes, well, the divorce rules...
- Let me just say one thing.

215
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:21,374
We want to take good care ofthe girls.
They must never want for anything.

216
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,499
They haven't lifted a finger
in ten years -

217
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:28,624
- but we won't leave them in the ditch
without a penny.

218
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:32,499
- I agree.
- The rules are simple.

219
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:37,332
- You share everything.
- Sure. They should have their share.

220
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:41,249
When I look at your assets -

221
00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:46,249
- it all looks pretty good.
Two cars...

222
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:49,332
Houses...

223
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:54,790
Property valuation, bills -

224
00:17:54,916 --> 00:17:59,832
- and all of that. You have
pretty large pension savings, huh?

225
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:03,332
And... Oh, not bad.

226
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,290
All in all...

227
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:07,624
Yes!

228
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:12,540
- 2.5 for each.
- Thousand?

229
00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:16,832
- But that's not a whole lot.
- Million.

230
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,749
You have a large equity in your houses
seeing as you built them yourselves.

231
00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:27,332
Add to that alimony amounting
to 4-5,000 kroner a month, minimum.

232
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:33,624
I hope you feel it was worth it.
On the other hand...

233
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,415
...you got the lawyer cheaper.

234
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,832
Well, I have a meeting now.

235
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,874
Feel free to hang around
and recover from the blow.

236
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,040
Kleenex.
Chipped in...!

237
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,999
- Edward...
- I think I'm going to be sick, Ib.

238
00:18:56,083 --> 00:19:00,457
We've got the undeclared money.
Nobody knows about that.

239
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,665
Of course!
Ib, we've got the undeclared money.

240
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,915
What the hell is going on?

241
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:22,040
Oh my lord!

242
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,040
She's on her knees.

243
00:19:30,666 --> 00:19:33,915
That's fucking disgusting.
It's not fair.

244
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:36,749
He's not even handsome.

245
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:41,457
- Please repeat that.
- Well, that's the lie ofthe land.

246
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:44,915
We've reached the end-station.
You'll get some hard cash -

247
00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:49,624
- and we'll skip the lawyer crap
that only serves to confuse you.

248
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:54,790
- Please say it one more time.
- Well, we've reached the end-station.

249
00:19:54,916 --> 00:19:59,999
You'll get some hard cash and we'll skip
the lawyer crap that only confuses you.

250
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:05,124
- It what?
- Confuses you. All that paperwork...

251
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,124
Do I look like an idiot?
Huh?

252
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,915
We have assets worth
five million kroner.

253
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:16,290
Add to that maximum alimony,
not to mention all the undeclared money.

254
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,832
- What undeclared money do you mean?
- What undeclared money?

255
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:24,165
- There isn't any undeclared money.
- It's in the fridge in the cellar.

256
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:27,707
What cellar?

257
00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:32,915
Well, that...

258
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:38,082
That's the fridge in the cellar.
You're spying on us?

259
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:41,790
As you said,
we've reached the end-station -

260
00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:45,249
- so one of us has to get off
and walk back -

261
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:50,707
- and it's only fair that it's you.
You always wear sensible work shoes.

262
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,249
I'm more of a stiletto girl.

263
00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:59,999
- Piglet.
- Yes?

264
00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:13,290
I know this may come as a shock.

265
00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:17,582
How odd!
Ingrid's getting divorced today, too.

266
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:23,999
Our money. All our money!

267
00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:29,624
We had it all!

268
00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:35,290
Let's just drop the whole idea
and get a sex life online.

269
00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:36,624
- No!
- Yes!

270
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:40,707
Sex involves both hands.

271
00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:43,749
Both hands!

272
00:21:46,708 --> 00:21:49,082
Both hands!

273
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:53,249
If only they'd never existed.

274
00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:57,707
It would be so much easier to get
divorced if they weren't there.

275
00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:02,165
You don't have to give half
of everything to someone -

276
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:07,207
- if they aren't there. If none of us
existed, we wouldn't have a problem.

277
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,665
- Do you know what you're saying?
- Yes! No...

278
00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:18,374
If they weren't here...

279
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:23,999
- How about we hire a hitman?
- Yes.

280
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:27,249
- From the east. From Russia.
- Yes!

281
00:22:27,375 --> 00:22:31,832
They're sick in the head.
And they're broke.

282
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,915
We'll send for one.

283
00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:36,290
Bang bang.

284
00:22:36,416 --> 00:22:40,665
Wham bang thank you ma'am.

285
00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:51,749
Edward...

286
00:23:12,875 --> 00:23:16,124
Yeah, a guy from the East.

287
00:25:33,750 --> 00:25:38,915
Hello.
Hi, Edward. So you're awake?

288
00:25:39,041 --> 00:25:44,124
No, he's been asleep for 48 hours.
Or maybe he's dead. I didn't check.

289
00:25:46,083 --> 00:25:48,624
Are you dead?

290
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:54,540
- You hired a Russian hitman!
- I was drunk!

291
00:25:54,666 --> 00:25:59,040
So was I, but I didn't hire
a goddamn Russian hitman!

292
00:25:59,166 --> 00:26:01,915
A Russian hitman.
I'm going insane!

293
00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:04,082
Stupid, stupid Edward!

294
00:26:04,208 --> 00:26:05,999
Gritt, I'm sorry!

295
00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:07,999
Stupid, stupid Edward!

296
00:26:08,125 --> 00:26:12,540
Shit! You're gonna have
to call it off. It's as simple as that.

297
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:14,999
Write and call the whole thing off.

298
00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:18,915
I told you already, I tried.
The link expired.

299
00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:23,999
You pay half, and the link expires.
That's the deal when you hire a hitman.

300
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:27,999
All that's left is this.
Igor Lad... whatever.

301
00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:31,290
Arrival from Kiev 2:45 p. m.

302
00:26:31,416 --> 00:26:34,749
He's on his way?!

303
00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:38,999
Maybe he won't recognize us.
All he knows is that we live in Nibe -

304
00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:43,540
- and there are lots of people in Nibe.
Awhole lot.

305
00:26:43,666 --> 00:26:46,832
There are people living in Nibe
in all kinds of houses.

306
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,040
But he's got the email address
and the name.

307
00:26:50,166 --> 00:26:54,999
He knows exactly where to go.
He's a professional killer, Ib.

308
00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:58,582
I've got it. Let's go to the airport
and tell him it's a misunderstanding.

309
00:26:58,708 --> 00:27:03,707
Good idea. We'll give him a decent tip
and say it's all a misunderstanding.

310
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,249
How hard can it be?

311
00:27:25,125 --> 00:27:30,040
- What if 100 dollars isn't enough?
- Hell, it's a year's income in Russia.

312
00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:33,999
- Got the return ticket?
- Yup. Moscow 6:45 p. m.

313
00:27:34,083 --> 00:27:38,665
- Good. And then this never happened.
- It already never happened.

314
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:42,457
We'll treat him to a steak
and a couple of bottles of Rioja -

315
00:27:42,583 --> 00:27:45,249
- and there you have it.

316
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:01,457
Oh my...

317
00:28:04,791 --> 00:28:07,374
He sure is drunk.

318
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:11,165
I'll give him that.
Impressive.

319
00:28:34,458 --> 00:28:38,415
My friends...
My friends.

320
00:28:56,166 --> 00:28:57,165
Hi.

321
00:28:57,291 --> 00:29:01,582
- Is he a friend of yours?
- Nah, we don't really know him.

322
00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:05,082
- Then why are you holding his name?
- Well...

323
00:29:05,208 --> 00:29:08,624
- What's his business here?
- We're builders.

324
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:14,249
- Igor's here to help us... build.
- Nothing illegal.

325
00:29:14,375 --> 00:29:19,207
But we don't need him after all,
so we've bought him a return ticket.

326
00:29:19,333 --> 00:29:22,749
No way.
He's not flying in that state.

327
00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:25,999
Get him out of here.
Immediately!

328
00:29:31,125 --> 00:29:36,832
We'll take a taxi to the Scandic.
We won't draw attention in a taxi.

329
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,290
We'll get him a room, pour
some coffee on him to sober him up -

330
00:29:40,416 --> 00:29:43,290
- and then we go back here,
he flies back home -

331
00:29:43,416 --> 00:29:46,165
- we go home.
It never happened.

332
00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:09,582
Your friend is okay, right?
He can't puke in my taxi...

333
00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:11,915
I'm gonna get really mad.

334
00:30:12,041 --> 00:30:16,249
He's from Russia.
They hardly ever puke.

335
00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:18,207
Infidel Russian.

336
00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:21,749
Godless pig eater,
drunk, foolish dog!

337
00:30:21,875 --> 00:30:25,374
I curse you to hell -

338
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:29,707
- and I'm going to take a long,
expensive detour to steal your money!

339
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,790
You damn Taliban bastard.

340
00:30:33,916 --> 00:30:37,832
I curse you and your family
and hope you burn in hell.

341
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,999
You talking to me,
you Russian son of a bitch?

342
00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:45,332
I'm going to pull out your intestines
through your filthy throat -

343
00:30:45,458 --> 00:30:48,207
- and hang you in the nearest tree!

344
00:30:48,333 --> 00:30:52,582
Damn you! I'm going to do that to you,
you filthy shit-for-brains!

345
00:30:52,708 --> 00:30:54,665
Stop... stop.

346
00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:57,874
You son of a bitch! I'm going
to kill you, you crazy bastard!

347
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,665
- Stop the car!
- What stop?! Where stop?!

348
00:31:01,791 --> 00:31:04,124
You crazy Russian!

349
00:31:04,250 --> 00:31:08,665
I'll kill you good! We kicked
your entire family out of your country!

350
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,207
Come here, you..!

351
00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:27,124
I can't deal with all that negative
energy in such a confined space.

352
00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:31,082
So much... hatred
between people, Edward.

353
00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:36,457
We're going to sober him up,
and then we're going home.

354
00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:47,249
Well, let's get... going.

355
00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:50,874
Taliban monkey not so loud anymore.

356
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,790
But you don't worry, you my friends.
Igor kill for free.

357
00:31:53,916 --> 00:31:57,332
Besides, he don't care.
He wasn't happy.

358
00:31:57,458 --> 00:32:02,790
Now, I promise he's much happier now
with his 72 fucking virgins.

359
00:32:02,916 --> 00:32:07,207
Now he's happier.
Now he's with his virgins. I'm sorry.

360
00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:16,749
For fuck's sake.
Ib, this isn't happening, is it?

361
00:32:16,875 --> 00:32:20,624
We're going to jail on account of a
drunk Russian that we don't even know.

362
00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:25,790
Edward, we have to take him home with
us. And we can't just leave the body.

363
00:32:25,916 --> 00:32:29,249
- Someone's gonna find him.
- Someone?

364
00:32:29,375 --> 00:32:33,082
That poor immigrant guy and his
immigrant kids who are now fatherless.

365
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:36,999
Maybe he's a fucking ISIS who whips
his family with the Quran every night.

366
00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:41,082
But you don't know that!
Prejudice... bah!

367
00:32:41,208 --> 00:32:44,499
Well, Igor, let's go.

368
00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:14,915
- Let's go get a beer at the inn.
- But what if the girls come home?

369
00:33:15,041 --> 00:33:17,999
Gritt said they were sleeping at your
place. It's just you and me tonight.

370
00:33:27,458 --> 00:33:30,749
Are there any real men left?

371
00:33:31,708 --> 00:33:34,915
I really want a child.

372
00:33:35,041 --> 00:33:38,374
I'm going on 40, and my ovaries
are beginning to look like prunes.

373
00:33:41,625 --> 00:33:44,499
Soon I can only have kids
with nuchal folds.

374
00:33:44,625 --> 00:33:45,790
Yuck!

375
00:33:54,041 --> 00:33:59,582
- I thought we were going to my place.
- You never have any wine.

376
00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:04,374
Will we be happy without them?

377
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:07,874
Oh, come on.
We're gonna have a ball!

378
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,290
You'll meet other men who look you
in the eye instead of ogling your ass.

379
00:34:11,416 --> 00:34:16,290
Who can dance, think and go
to the art museum and watch PBS -

380
00:34:16,416 --> 00:34:20,415
- and who talk about other stuff
than stone wool.

381
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:33,624
- Is this the reception?
- Is he one of their Poles?

382
00:34:34,791 --> 00:34:38,207
- Where is the mini bar?
- How dare he prance in like that?

383
00:34:38,333 --> 00:34:42,874
They stay in the cellar from time
to time, but they never come upstairs.

384
00:34:48,083 --> 00:34:52,999
Life is nothing without beauty and love.
Love is what makes you happy -

385
00:34:53,083 --> 00:34:55,915
- and if you're not happy,
there is no reason to live.

386
00:34:56,041 --> 00:34:59,874
So when Igor meets two beautiful women,
he sees lots of love -

387
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,749
- and that makes him very happy.

388
00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,999
And I do not say that because I'm drunk.

389
00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:10,790
Igor is always drunk
and sees ugly women all the time.

390
00:35:10,916 --> 00:35:16,040
But you are very, very,
very beautiful.

391
00:35:17,083 --> 00:35:20,082
Who says you can leave your cellar?

392
00:35:21,125 --> 00:35:24,457
Who says you can leave your cellar?

393
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,540
You are so hungry woman.

394
00:35:28,666 --> 00:35:33,999
You are like a juicy wet oasis. An oasis
just waiting to feed a thirsty man -

395
00:35:34,125 --> 00:35:38,999
- but you, so beautiful, where is your
thirsty man? No one drinks from you.

396
00:35:39,083 --> 00:35:42,790
And you, beautiful.
Like a painting by Da Vinci.

397
00:35:42,916 --> 00:35:45,874
Please come. Please.

398
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,999
Please!

399
00:35:48,083 --> 00:35:52,749
Where is your man to see
your secret smile, beautiful lips?

400
00:35:52,875 --> 00:35:56,582
I like it very much.
Beautiful.

401
00:35:57,250 --> 00:35:59,749
Thank you.

402
00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:03,540
- Well, Malte, our dance teacher...
- Dance teacher?

403
00:36:03,666 --> 00:36:07,999
He thinks we are very passionate.
He's a Swede.

404
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:12,749
Gay, of course, and sometimes
he compares us to two tulips.

405
00:36:12,875 --> 00:36:17,874
You tulips? But tulip is nothing
but the stupid vegetable.

406
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:24,124
You are not vegetables!
You are women made offlesh and blood!

407
00:36:27,208 --> 00:36:30,915
- This is for every virgin I ever loved.
- Oh my.

408
00:36:31,041 --> 00:36:35,124
She feels a little pain
and I see the tear in her eye.

409
00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:39,749
And Igor says:
If she feels a little pain -

410
00:36:39,875 --> 00:36:43,374
- so Igor shall feel a little pain, too.

411
00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:47,540
So I stab myself every time with knife,
very painful.

412
00:36:47,666 --> 00:36:53,582
You know, guys from the Eastern bloc
can be very romantic.

413
00:36:53,708 --> 00:36:58,207
- You can say that again.
- Very.

414
00:37:00,458 --> 00:37:02,207
Can I...

415
00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:06,999
What's this?

416
00:37:07,083 --> 00:37:10,915
- It's also women you...?
- No.

417
00:37:11,041 --> 00:37:15,040
This is all the men I killed.

418
00:37:15,166 --> 00:37:19,540
- What?
- So you really tried to kill somebody?

419
00:37:19,666 --> 00:37:21,999
- Okay.
- How is it?

420
00:37:22,083 --> 00:37:24,915
- To kill somebody?
- Yes.

421
00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:28,374
Oh, it's nothing.

422
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:31,874
First they breathe,
then they don't breathe.

423
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:37,332
So, you stay long here in Nibe?

424
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,832
As long as it takes.

425
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:46,165
- Do you know Ib and Edward?
- Yes.

426
00:37:46,291 --> 00:37:48,499
They are my new friends.

427
00:37:48,625 --> 00:37:52,249
- You keep secrets with me?
- Of course.

428
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:56,749
Wives not make them happy anymore.

429
00:37:58,083 --> 00:38:00,457
What do you precisely mean by that?

430
00:38:00,583 --> 00:38:04,624
Igor help them
not to be unhappy anymore.

431
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:06,582
How?

432
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,040
I kill them.

433
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,207
You know where I can find them?

434
00:38:47,625 --> 00:38:49,707
Igor?

435
00:38:50,583 --> 00:38:56,624
You need something
stronger than wine, yes.

436
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,832
- You need whisky.
- Okay.

437
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,999
Where am I, by the way?
Is this hotel lobby?

438
00:39:04,083 --> 00:39:07,040
We go and we buy...

439
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,207
...whisky.
Lots ofwhisky.

440
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:14,040
And you can stay here in hotel lobby.

441
00:39:16,916 --> 00:39:19,749
- What are we gonna do?
- Get in the car!

442
00:39:19,875 --> 00:39:22,540
You're too drunk to drive.

443
00:39:29,250 --> 00:39:33,332
- I think I've peed my pants.
- Shit, Gritt!

444
00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:35,749
We're married to a couple of killers!

445
00:39:35,875 --> 00:39:39,374
I don't remember
when I last peed my pants.

446
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:42,082
Fuck!
Ever heard anything that wild?

447
00:39:42,208 --> 00:39:46,624
Maybe it was at camp in '92...

448
00:39:46,750 --> 00:39:50,457
You don't chip in for a hitman.
If anyone's gonna kill me -

449
00:39:50,583 --> 00:39:54,207
- I want my own personal killer.

450
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,415
I peed on my shoes... everywhere.

451
00:40:01,708 --> 00:40:05,082
- And then I saw...
- Have you been drinking?

452
00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:09,582
What the fuck do you think?
Do I seem sober or shitfaced?

453
00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:13,707
Down my legs and into my shoes...

454
00:40:13,833 --> 00:40:17,624
"What is this?
Did you pee your pants?"

455
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,582
I peed my pants.

456
00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:24,665
Damn! It burst.
That's a first.

457
00:40:24,791 --> 00:40:26,832
Get out ofthe car.

458
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,915
And the bitches can sleep on the couch
in a studio apartment on loser street.

459
00:40:32,041 --> 00:40:33,540
Loser street.

460
00:40:33,666 --> 00:40:37,749
They go see a lawyer only to find out
they're married to two strong women.

461
00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:41,499
Strong women
who knows their rights, Gritt.

462
00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:44,874
- Free women like you and me, Gritt.
- Yeah, we're totally free.

463
00:40:46,625 --> 00:40:49,207
We may very well be from Nibe -

464
00:40:49,333 --> 00:40:53,249
- but Malte says
this might as well be Hollywood -

465
00:40:53,375 --> 00:40:58,040
- and those women over there know how
to squeeze the last cent out of a man.

466
00:40:58,166 --> 00:41:02,624
- The last cunt?
- No, the last cent out of a man.

467
00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:04,665
We'll show them!

468
00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:08,374
We have a future, Gritt.
We can dance our way through life.

469
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,915
- They can only sit on their fat asses.
- Hell, we'll convert Malte.

470
00:41:12,041 --> 00:41:16,457
- Yeah, why not?
- With our gigantic big balls.

471
00:41:17,375 --> 00:41:19,332
We rock!

472
00:41:19,458 --> 00:41:24,749
We'll be lucky to find a drop of blood
in your alcohol. What were you thinking?

473
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:28,040
- You're looking at a minimum of...
- Where?

474
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:30,999
- Where are you going?
- Where's the cell, Heinz?

475
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:33,290
Down the end of the hall, 9 o'clock.

476
00:41:36,291 --> 00:41:39,040
He's been awake.

477
00:41:39,166 --> 00:41:42,832
No man can drink that much.

478
00:41:58,208 --> 00:42:01,999
Why don't we just tell the police?

479
00:42:02,083 --> 00:42:05,540
- The police?
- Yes.

480
00:42:05,666 --> 00:42:08,665
"Why don't we just tell the police?"

481
00:42:08,791 --> 00:42:13,374
- What can the police do?
- They can fix it.

482
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,332
- Fix it? The police?
- Yes.

483
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:21,082
No, they'll put them away for a couple
of years, and when they're released -

484
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:24,499
- they'll rob us of everything anyway.

485
00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,415
The police!

486
00:42:38,708 --> 00:42:41,582
If they can hire a killer...

487
00:42:46,833 --> 00:42:49,290
...why can't we?

488
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,332
Well, because it's against the law.

489
00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,915
- Against the law?
- Yes.

490
00:42:57,041 --> 00:42:59,999
No, it's equality!

491
00:43:04,125 --> 00:43:06,832
It's equality, Gritt. Hey!

492
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:11,499
We have just as much right
to be bastards as men.

493
00:43:11,625 --> 00:43:13,499
Sure.

494
00:43:15,041 --> 00:43:18,874
- Okay.
- I'll tell you what we're gonna do...

495
00:43:33,333 --> 00:43:36,249
- Sure this is a good idea?
- We have to defend ourselves.

496
00:43:36,375 --> 00:43:42,707
- And Igor? Think she's a match for him?
- Wait and see. This girl is special.

497
00:43:42,833 --> 00:43:48,332
The British have got style. Downton
Abbey, Midsomer Murders and so on.

498
00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:52,915
The British are posh.
Discreet and soundless.

499
00:43:53,041 --> 00:43:56,457
When something is really complicated -

500
00:43:56,583 --> 00:43:59,290
- theyjust sweep it under the rug.

501
00:43:59,416 --> 00:44:02,540
- I need to go pee again.
- And I'm thirsty.

502
00:44:02,666 --> 00:44:05,665
- Shouldn't she have landed by now?
- I need some wine.

503
00:44:25,791 --> 00:44:28,999
Excuse me.
Where do you come from?

504
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:31,999
Oh, I'm sorry, young man.

505
00:44:32,083 --> 00:44:35,082
I didn't think that
you'd be taking any interest -

506
00:44:35,208 --> 00:44:39,165
- in a silly old woman like me.
I'm flattered, dear.

507
00:44:39,291 --> 00:44:42,124
It's check-up day today,
so pure routine.

508
00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:43,999
I understand, dear.

509
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:48,582
Now, what am I smuggling into this
lovely little country of yours today?

510
00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:53,040
Hard drugs, endangered species
or lethal weapons?

511
00:44:53,166 --> 00:44:57,040
- Can I check your bag?
- You most certainly may.

512
00:45:08,458 --> 00:45:10,999
Good God!

513
00:45:15,583 --> 00:45:19,665
Ingrid, I don't like this.

514
00:45:19,791 --> 00:45:25,540
No, but let's go to the summerhouse
and get acquainted, okay?

515
00:45:25,666 --> 00:45:29,249
Sure she's not crazy? I think
she's straight out of a horror movie.

516
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:32,332
No, she's just an oddball.

517
00:45:32,458 --> 00:45:37,415
You can't get enough of oddballs.
They're just barmy.

518
00:45:37,541 --> 00:45:41,999
Mrs. Nipplesworthy, we are going now
to a very nice and cozy place.

519
00:45:42,083 --> 00:45:45,082
- Is there anything you need?
- Liver.

520
00:45:46,083 --> 00:45:47,832
- Liver?
- Liver?

521
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,624
Raw liver.

522
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:53,665
With a nice bottle of Chianti.

523
00:45:59,875 --> 00:46:02,832
Ladies... ladies!

524
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:07,290
I'm only messing with you.

525
00:46:14,083 --> 00:46:16,624
So you want me to erase his memory?

526
00:46:16,750 --> 00:46:21,124
Not all of it.
Just the last couple of days maybe.

527
00:46:22,375 --> 00:46:25,249
- What is this all about?
- We'Il give you 5,000 kroner.

528
00:46:25,375 --> 00:46:29,790
It's purely business. We brought him in
from the East to help us -

529
00:46:29,916 --> 00:46:33,915
- but he drinks too much.
He's Russian and more or less useless.

530
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:37,624
Still, we felt bad
having dragged him all the way here -

531
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:41,249
- only to fire him on the spot.

532
00:46:41,375 --> 00:46:45,457
So we thought it would be better
if he'd never had that experience.

533
00:46:50,833 --> 00:46:53,790
You're so full of crap.

534
00:46:53,916 --> 00:46:56,915
- 20,000.
- Done deal!

535
00:46:57,041 --> 00:46:59,832
- Wait outside.
- Deal.

536
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,082
Ib... Where are you going?

537
00:47:08,250 --> 00:47:10,040
Poul?

538
00:47:13,083 --> 00:47:15,290
Poul!

539
00:47:18,625 --> 00:47:20,790
What the hell are you doing?

540
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:29,040
- Where did you find her again?
- She had a website.

541
00:47:29,166 --> 00:47:33,540
- Awebsite?
- Yeah, to do with euthanasia.

542
00:47:33,666 --> 00:47:36,249
- Euthanasia?
- Yeah.

543
00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:41,124
She worked at a home for many years -

544
00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:45,582
- and was unjustly convicted of having
helped a lot of miserable old -

545
00:47:45,708 --> 00:47:50,040
- really broken old people,
who were dying anyway.

546
00:47:50,166 --> 00:47:55,915
She's dedicated her life to helping
people, who need to die, to die.

547
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,624
And she also helps out
if you need help -

548
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:06,540
- to make other people,
who need to die, die.

549
00:48:06,666 --> 00:48:10,374
People, who want to die...
but perhaps don't know it yet.

550
00:48:11,291 --> 00:48:13,290
What home did she work at?

551
00:48:13,416 --> 00:48:18,999
- I think it was Broadmoor Home...
- Home for what?

552
00:48:19,083 --> 00:48:22,457
Broadmoor Mental Institution is -

553
00:48:22,583 --> 00:48:26,707
- a well-reputed home
for psychopaths, sweethearts.

554
00:48:26,833 --> 00:48:29,540
Okay.

555
00:48:29,666 --> 00:48:34,040
- You worked there as a nurse, or...?
- Yes, of course.

556
00:48:34,166 --> 00:48:37,665
Yes, of course I was a nurse.

557
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:46,540
"Now you travel back in your life, Igor.
Now you let yourself fall -

558
00:48:46,666 --> 00:48:48,832
- and see the job you should do. "

559
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,582
Igor says this is nuts,
but stupid woman says:

560
00:48:52,708 --> 00:48:56,040
"Yes, you see the job
you should do for Ib and Edward. "

561
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,832
"No, no," I say. "I don't see anyjob. "

562
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,915
"Oh yes," she says. "You will. "

563
00:49:02,041 --> 00:49:04,915
And then she hypnotize.

564
00:49:05,041 --> 00:49:10,832
And then Igor sees all Igor's jobs!
They come to me, everyone of them!

565
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:15,249
The Taliban swine, the three
horny midgets, the six Chinamen -

566
00:49:15,375 --> 00:49:18,165
- the stupid journalist,
who didn't like my friend Putin -

567
00:49:18,291 --> 00:49:22,207
- the woman with the big dick etc. etc.
So now she starts screaming.

568
00:49:22,333 --> 00:49:25,332
So Igor wake up.
"Why do you scream, stupid woman?"

569
00:49:25,458 --> 00:49:30,624
- So she screams: "Police! Police!"
- Yes, we heard. We heard.

570
00:49:31,541 --> 00:49:35,082
- She never should have locked the door.
- I asked her: "Why do you scream?"

571
00:49:35,208 --> 00:49:39,999
"Please stop screaming, you ugly woman
with ugly glasses. Please stop...!"

572
00:49:40,125 --> 00:49:43,082
Did you really have to...

573
00:49:44,416 --> 00:49:50,124
You know, Igor help.
Igor put her out of her misery.

574
00:49:50,250 --> 00:49:53,540
I could see she was not happy.

575
00:50:00,916 --> 00:50:05,124
Always look for the positive,
my mom always said.

576
00:50:05,250 --> 00:50:07,915
Like when my budgie died.

577
00:50:08,041 --> 00:50:12,124
"See, Ib. The good thing
about the budgie dying is -

578
00:50:12,250 --> 00:50:17,499
- that you can get a stuffed budgie now.
Not many people have that. "

579
00:50:18,541 --> 00:50:21,915
Maybe all these horrific experiences
are good for us.

580
00:50:22,041 --> 00:50:26,540
I mean, right now we're parked right
in the middle of nature.

581
00:50:26,666 --> 00:50:30,915
Look! A live lark.
It gives you food for thought -

582
00:50:31,041 --> 00:50:35,165
- that in the middle of all this mess
there's still stuffto rejoice in.

583
00:50:35,291 --> 00:50:39,915
Hell, Ib, you're going crazy.
Pull yourself together, Ib.

584
00:50:41,416 --> 00:50:45,290
No... I didn't mean it like that.

585
00:50:48,041 --> 00:50:51,415
I miss my budgie.

586
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:58,040
And here comes Heinz.

587
00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:06,624
Well...

588
00:51:15,041 --> 00:51:18,749
So, what's up, Dumb and Dumber?

589
00:51:18,875 --> 00:51:21,874
- Yeah, what's up, Heinz?
- Drunk bitches.

590
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,915
Moonlighting.
What's next?

591
00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:30,124
Now that your missus
has lost her license -

592
00:51:30,250 --> 00:51:33,165
- her Mercedes is just collecting dust
in the garage.

593
00:51:33,291 --> 00:51:37,915
- What do you want, Heinz?
- Why, I want a Mercedes.

594
00:51:38,041 --> 00:51:41,665
- If you can moonlight, so can I.
- Why?

595
00:51:41,791 --> 00:51:43,624
Why?

596
00:51:43,750 --> 00:51:46,665
It's up to you whether I should drive
toward you with the tax man -

597
00:51:46,791 --> 00:51:50,249
- or drive off in a Mercedes.

598
00:51:54,291 --> 00:51:57,832
- Who's that guy?
- Just a friend of ours.

599
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,540
- Yeah, he's just a friend.
- Oh. Does he have a work permit?

600
00:52:02,375 --> 00:52:05,332
Hey there.

601
00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:08,540
I'd like to see your passport,
papers and work permit.

602
00:52:08,666 --> 00:52:10,874
Right away.

603
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,124
- Hello.
- Heinz, he doesn't speak Danish.

604
00:52:14,250 --> 00:52:17,915
- Heinz, you'd better not.
- Frigging Poles.

605
00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:22,332
Don't piss him off.
Igor's from Russia, not Poland.

606
00:52:22,458 --> 00:52:25,082
So what's he gonna do?
Blow on me?

607
00:52:26,875 --> 00:52:29,332
Hey, buster.

608
00:52:29,458 --> 00:52:32,749
Let me see your papers,
passport and work permit.

609
00:52:32,875 --> 00:52:36,999
It's a bad idea, Heinz.
You are a human being after all.

610
00:52:37,125 --> 00:52:39,624
- What?
- You've got a heart, too.

611
00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:43,374
- Haven't you got a wife and kids?
- Not on your life!

612
00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:46,999
- A dad or a mom?
- What the fuck are you talking about?

613
00:52:47,125 --> 00:52:51,749
All the people who love you
and who you love and go on picnics with.

614
00:52:51,875 --> 00:52:54,457
No, all that family crap just isn't me.

615
00:52:54,583 --> 00:52:59,040
So the day you pass away,
no one will mourn you -

616
00:52:59,166 --> 00:53:03,332
- with a cake buffet
and cousins singing country songs?

617
00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:09,082
You're losing it big time.
What the hell are you guys up to?

618
00:53:09,208 --> 00:53:11,582
- Is this your friend?
- No.

619
00:53:11,708 --> 00:53:16,915
I actually feel a bit sad for him,
because you know -

620
00:53:17,041 --> 00:53:20,040
- Heinz is not very happy.

621
00:53:20,166 --> 00:53:22,915
- Ib!
- Not happy?

622
00:53:23,041 --> 00:53:25,915
Not happy at all, Igor.

623
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,707
No love, no family -

624
00:53:29,833 --> 00:53:32,415
- and not very happy.

625
00:53:32,541 --> 00:53:34,749
Ib, what the fuck are you up to?

626
00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:37,832
- You bet your ass I'm not very happy.
- Damn.

627
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,707
Look, tell me what's going on.
Out of the way, buddy.

628
00:53:41,833 --> 00:53:46,415
You're digging a hole in the middle
of nowhere. What's going on?

629
00:53:46,541 --> 00:53:48,207
What is this?

630
00:53:48,333 --> 00:53:49,624
No!

631
00:53:52,833 --> 00:53:55,665
It's... No, never mind the time!

632
00:53:57,708 --> 00:53:59,999
You're under arrest
and you have the right to one...

633
00:54:00,125 --> 00:54:02,540
He doesn't speak Danish, Heinz.

634
00:54:02,666 --> 00:54:07,082
You have the right to maintain silence,
and according to law you can just...

635
00:54:07,208 --> 00:54:09,207
Okay.

636
00:54:21,041 --> 00:54:22,707
We have more drink?

637
00:54:24,916 --> 00:54:30,124
Well, Ib.
This is the end of the road.

638
00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:33,624
Heinz is going to get help.
It's all over -

639
00:54:33,750 --> 00:54:35,915
- and I will accept my punishment.

640
00:54:36,041 --> 00:54:39,124
- It'll ease my gut and my mind...
- Car keys... where are the keys?

641
00:54:39,250 --> 00:54:43,790
We'll get everything out in the open.
Don't worry, I'll take the rap.

642
00:54:43,916 --> 00:54:48,832
No need for both of us to spend 12 years
in the can getting buggered by goons.

643
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,040
Don't get all worked up.
Igor's got a handle on it.

644
00:54:52,166 --> 00:54:57,457
Let's just be happy
that it can't possibly get any worse.

645
00:55:04,750 --> 00:55:07,915
- He missed.
- You're way too negative.

646
00:55:15,833 --> 00:55:20,624
No, we won't get away with this.
I've seen it too many times on TV, Ib.

647
00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:25,915
A man walks his dog, and the dog comes
back with a big bone wearing a sock.

648
00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:29,999
Next thing you know,
you're the star of a lame crime docu.

649
00:55:30,125 --> 00:55:34,415
We have to find a better place
where they won't be found.

650
00:55:39,916 --> 00:55:43,624
How slowly would you like it to happen?

651
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:45,999
How slow?

652
00:56:03,458 --> 00:56:08,915
Now, this will leave them bleeding
for several hours -

653
00:56:09,041 --> 00:56:12,457
- before their eyes pop out
oftheir heads.

654
00:56:13,666 --> 00:56:16,415
It's quite painful, it must be said.

655
00:56:16,541 --> 00:56:20,249
Meanwhile, now this one...

656
00:56:21,666 --> 00:56:26,415
I call this Autumn Leaves.

657
00:56:27,583 --> 00:56:30,999
This will prolong the process
even further still -

658
00:56:31,125 --> 00:56:35,290
- causing to lose their hair and teeth
over a period of several weeks -

659
00:56:35,416 --> 00:56:42,124
- before finally their skin peels off
like leaves in autumn.

660
00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:45,665
Yes... yes.

661
00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:49,665
Anything tickle your fancy, ladies?

662
00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:53,457
First and foremost -

663
00:56:53,583 --> 00:56:58,290
- I personally don't think
their eyes should pop out.

664
00:56:58,416 --> 00:57:02,499
I think this eye-popping-out thing
sounds a little too much.

665
00:57:02,625 --> 00:57:07,540
What do you think, Ingrid?
Do you think their eyes should...

666
00:57:07,666 --> 00:57:09,415
No, no.

667
00:57:09,541 --> 00:57:13,582
No, personally,
I don't like the eye thing -

668
00:57:13,708 --> 00:57:17,790
- and also I don't know
about the Autumn Leaves.

669
00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:22,665
So difficult to decide.
Right, Gritt?

670
00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:28,374
Yes, it's very difficult.
So many things to choose among.

671
00:57:28,500 --> 00:57:34,124
Maybe it's all a little bit
too dramatic.

672
00:57:34,250 --> 00:57:38,790
Perhaps we could find something
a little more simple.

673
00:57:38,916 --> 00:57:42,374
- More Scandinavian style?
- Yes, more Scandinavian maybe.

674
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:45,207
You mean dull and dark?

675
00:57:47,833 --> 00:57:52,290
Perhaps we could concentrate on Igor.

676
00:57:52,416 --> 00:57:57,374
And perhaps just give Ib and Edward -

677
00:57:57,500 --> 00:57:59,582
- perhaps just a little warning?

678
00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:03,040
A little warning?

679
00:58:03,166 --> 00:58:06,332
Maybe just... I dunno...

680
00:58:07,416 --> 00:58:10,457
Maybe just a little
unexpected diarrhea maybe.

681
00:58:10,583 --> 00:58:14,790
- Diarrhea?
- Just a little pooh-pooh in the pants.

682
00:58:19,875 --> 00:58:24,624
Pooh-pooh!
That would be hysterical.

683
00:58:25,416 --> 00:58:27,999
You asked me to come here.

684
00:58:28,083 --> 00:58:34,249
I packed my things. I put a great deal
of effort into my preparations.

685
00:58:34,375 --> 00:58:39,582
Because that is what we British
stand for. Discipline. Honor.

686
00:58:39,708 --> 00:58:44,832
And last, but not least, the renouncing
ofthe revolting human body.

687
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:50,124
And what do I mean by that? Well,
the British do not like the human body.

688
00:58:50,250 --> 00:58:54,999
We live with it, it's true. Because we
have no option. We are forced to do so.

689
00:58:55,083 --> 00:59:01,707
And that is precisely why
I am skilled at what I do.

690
00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:07,624
I am an expert at helping people
vacate their bodies.

691
00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:12,165
That is my calling.
That is my life's work.

692
00:59:12,291 --> 00:59:18,290
I am here to save us all
from our human bodies!

693
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:31,874
- She's utterly crazy.
- No, we're utterly nuts.

694
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,707
- What the hell are we doing?
- Let's keep a cool head now.

695
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:41,124
Why the hell didn't we buy more?

696
00:59:41,250 --> 00:59:44,832
I can't think without Chardonnay.
I'm going out for more.

697
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,665
- Are you leaving me alone with that?
- Everything's going to be okay.

698
00:59:48,791 --> 00:59:50,999
I just need some wine.

699
00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:59,124
What a surprise.

700
00:59:59,250 --> 01:00:03,999
- When do you expect to finish it?
- We found a pile of bricks.

701
01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:07,290
And more are on the way from...

702
01:00:07,416 --> 01:00:09,624
From Krakow.

703
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:15,332
- Isn't it quite wide?
- What do you mean, Mrs. Hansen?

704
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:19,665
It's almost a meter wide.

705
01:00:21,291 --> 01:00:25,540
Yes, it's a solid wall
that no one can ever tear down again -

706
01:00:25,666 --> 01:00:30,790
- so that they'd find something
or someone inside it.

707
01:00:30,916 --> 01:00:34,374
- Not that there'd be that in a wall.
- Mrs. Hansen.

708
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:36,665
Thanks, Ib.

709
01:00:36,791 --> 01:00:41,249
- Can we have a cup of coffee?
- You bet.

710
01:00:45,083 --> 01:00:46,082
There!

711
01:00:47,125 --> 01:00:48,915
Well, well...

712
01:00:51,416 --> 01:00:53,707
Maybe we should wall him up, too?

713
01:00:53,833 --> 01:00:56,790
I don't think Igor's very happy.

714
01:00:56,916 --> 01:01:01,124
No, it must be hard to sleep with
so many dead people on your conscience.

715
01:01:02,125 --> 01:01:05,415
Tell you what, Ib.

716
01:01:05,541 --> 01:01:08,374
- I'm going to tell it to him straight.
- No. Are you crazy?

717
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:12,540
- I'll keep a civil tone.
- He's gonna kill us. You can't!

718
01:01:12,666 --> 01:01:15,165
Igor... Igor.

719
01:01:15,291 --> 01:01:19,999
It's all a big misunderstanding.
You don't need to kill our wives.

720
01:01:20,125 --> 01:01:25,124
It was just me and Ib...
a little crazy one night.

721
01:01:25,250 --> 01:01:29,290
- It's not because we don't like you.
- No, absolutely not.

722
01:01:29,416 --> 01:01:34,124
We like you a lot.
You have a great charisma and...

723
01:01:34,250 --> 01:01:40,082
We also want you to know that we
think you are a very, very good killer.

724
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:42,582
Oh, absolutely.

725
01:01:42,708 --> 01:01:47,582
Truth is, Igor, we don't want you
to kill anyone anymore.

726
01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:51,540
- You are getting soft.
- Look, Igor.

727
01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:55,999
You don't have to kill your wife
or your husband -

728
01:01:56,125 --> 01:01:58,165
- because you don't make love anymore.

729
01:01:58,291 --> 01:02:01,874
Actually, it's very normal in this
country that you stop having sex -

730
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,207
- when you get married.

731
01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:05,999
Then what do they do?

732
01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:10,124
They... they take care of the dog -

733
01:02:10,250 --> 01:02:12,499
- or the kids.

734
01:02:12,625 --> 01:02:16,415
You know, jog together and go
to Silvan Saturday morning -

735
01:02:16,541 --> 01:02:19,874
- and buy a have grill, for example.

736
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:24,874
- Have grill?
- You know, cozy time with have grill.

737
01:02:25,916 --> 01:02:27,915
- No.
- No?

738
01:02:28,041 --> 01:02:32,499
You are my friends. I don't want you
to live unhappy lousy lives -

739
01:02:32,625 --> 01:02:34,999
- with your frigid wives.

740
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:39,582
But wives love us again.
They're not frigid anymore, nope.

741
01:02:41,041 --> 01:02:45,290
Okay.
If they really love you again -

742
01:02:45,416 --> 01:02:48,999
- I want to hear it
from their own mouths.

743
01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:51,707
Not from you two soft chicken.

744
01:02:53,416 --> 01:02:55,457
Of course, Igor.
You're absolutely right.

745
01:02:55,583 --> 01:02:59,665
Of course you should hear it from their
mouths, and you should meet them -

746
01:02:59,791 --> 01:03:03,582
- and you should talk to them. Then they
will tell you how much they love us.

747
01:03:03,708 --> 01:03:06,707
And then you can go home.

748
01:03:06,833 --> 01:03:09,790
- Okay.
- But we'll never talk them into that!

749
01:03:11,666 --> 01:03:14,082
Ib, I've got a plan.

750
01:03:15,916 --> 01:03:19,290
How terrible.
The girls haven't said a word.

751
01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:22,915
Both of you at the same time?

752
01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:26,290
Where is God in all this?
Is it work-related?

753
01:03:26,416 --> 01:03:29,624
- I'm sure it is.
- All the stuff you inhale.

754
01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:33,874
I haven't got any wigs for men,
but I can cut these in shape.

755
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,207
You haven't lost your hair yet.

756
01:03:36,333 --> 01:03:39,290
The chemo will make it
come off in giant tufts.

757
01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:41,749
Try them on.

758
01:03:43,541 --> 01:03:46,415
- Hi, Ib.
- Bent.

759
01:03:46,541 --> 01:03:48,415
Hi, Edward.

760
01:03:48,541 --> 01:03:53,874
What's up?
How come you look like that?

761
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:59,540
- Ib and Edward have got cancer.
- Yeah, we're gonna be bald as eggs.

762
01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:01,999
Skinheads.

763
01:04:02,125 --> 01:04:04,374
You... you...

764
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:08,624
You just ought to...

765
01:04:08,750 --> 01:04:11,582
...ought to go to...

766
01:04:11,708 --> 01:04:14,332
Bent thinks you should take up salsa.

767
01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:18,374
Salsa, Bent.
Hell, that's just what we need -

768
01:04:18,500 --> 01:04:21,540
- with a body full of cancer.
For fuck's sake!

769
01:04:21,666 --> 01:04:25,999
- Thank you, Bent.
- You're welcome, my friend.

770
01:04:38,791 --> 01:04:42,874
- Why do we always make fun of Bent?
- Because we always have.

771
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:47,582
Not before the accident.
We used to look up to him.

772
01:04:47,708 --> 01:04:51,457
He was the best footballer on the team.

773
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:56,707
And then the ball rolled out in front
of the car on the highway.

774
01:04:56,833 --> 01:05:00,874
He was gone for six months and when
he returned, he'd turned into a spazz.

775
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:04,665
- I told you, kids are a load of crap.
- But why do we make fun of him?

776
01:05:04,791 --> 01:05:09,582
He never should have chased
that ball on to the goddamn highway.

777
01:05:11,291 --> 01:05:14,749
Because we're afraid
of Spazzy Bent, Edward.

778
01:05:14,875 --> 01:05:19,457
We're afraid of kids. We're afraid
they'll run out in front of the cars.

779
01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:23,082
- Yeah right.
- But he's happy.

780
01:05:23,208 --> 01:05:27,790
- He dances and he's got a sex life.
- And that's strange.

781
01:05:27,916 --> 01:05:30,249
And what have we got?

782
01:05:30,375 --> 01:05:33,915
You want me to throw myself in front
of a car to get laid? That's stupid.

783
01:05:34,041 --> 01:05:37,207
You're not making any goddamn sense.

784
01:05:53,666 --> 01:05:56,874
Gritt, what are you doing?

785
01:05:58,291 --> 01:06:00,749
I can't take it anymore.

786
01:06:00,875 --> 01:06:05,832
I've had it!
No more perverted psychos.

787
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,999
Are you going to dump her in there?

788
01:06:09,083 --> 01:06:14,040
We're going to do like the British.
Sweep it under the rug. Gone!

789
01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:19,540
I want to be normal, Ingrid.

790
01:06:19,666 --> 01:06:22,540
I miss Ib and his potbelly.

791
01:06:22,666 --> 01:06:26,165
I don't want to go looking for men
who watch PBS -

792
01:06:26,291 --> 01:06:29,999
- because I know that Ib loves me -

793
01:06:30,083 --> 01:06:36,582
- and you're crazy ifyou can't see
that we've just got our lines crossed.

794
01:06:38,250 --> 01:06:43,374
We used to be happy.
Why can't we be happy again?

795
01:06:45,750 --> 01:06:50,582
I can't take you seriously
if I have to look down on you.

796
01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:56,582
Give me the shovel, quick!

797
01:06:56,708 --> 01:07:00,374
You fucking bitches!

798
01:07:12,125 --> 01:07:15,082
<i>- Hello.
- Igor, this is Edward.</i>

799
01:07:15,208 --> 01:07:17,457
<i>Can you see the house behind you?</i>

800
01:07:17,583 --> 01:07:22,040
<i>It's my house. Gritt and Ingrid are
both waiting for you inside, okay?</i>

801
01:07:22,166 --> 01:07:24,874
<i>- Okay, I kill them?
- No, no!</i>

802
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,582
No, no, Igor. No kill.
They're happy now, very much.

803
01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:31,332
<i>You wanted to hear it
from themselves, right?</i>

804
01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:36,624
Hi, you must be Igor.
I'm Ingrid.

805
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,707
I'm very happy I'm not frigid.
Come in.

806
01:07:44,166 --> 01:07:48,207
Igor, please sit down and have a drink.

807
01:07:48,333 --> 01:07:52,624
I'm Gritt, and I'm very happy
and not frigid.

808
01:07:52,750 --> 01:07:55,749
We are sorry that it's so dark -

809
01:07:55,875 --> 01:08:00,207
- but we forgot
to pay the electricity bill.

810
01:08:00,333 --> 01:08:03,790
Ib and Edward told us
about the little mistake.

811
01:08:03,916 --> 01:08:09,582
If you ask me, I don't think
you should kill us. Right, Ingrid?

812
01:08:12,083 --> 01:08:17,999
You see, Igor, we love our husbands
very, very, very much -

813
01:08:18,083 --> 01:08:22,624
- but sometimes marriage gets
a little bit tired, you know?

814
01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:27,582
It's a bit like tide water.
Sometimes the water is high -

815
01:08:27,708 --> 01:08:30,540
- and sometimes it's low.

816
01:08:30,666 --> 01:08:35,624
And for the last day,
the water has been very, very, very low.

817
01:08:35,750 --> 01:08:40,457
- I hate water.
- Yes, of course you hate water.

818
01:08:40,583 --> 01:08:43,457
Who doesn't?
Don't you hate water, Ingrid?

819
01:08:43,583 --> 01:08:46,832
Hate water! I hate water.

820
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,249
But you see, Igor...

821
01:08:50,375 --> 01:08:54,665
Women have so many feelings.
Their heart is so big -

822
01:08:54,791 --> 01:08:57,665
- and sometimes it's like
there's a storm inside. A storm, Igor.

823
01:08:57,791 --> 01:09:01,749
- Shit, Ib!
- I remember my first date.

824
01:09:01,875 --> 01:09:06,165
I was only 15,
and Sofus his name was.

825
01:09:06,291 --> 01:09:10,374
I had a good eye to him.
He was in my parallel class.

826
01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:12,582
And after many, many, many months -

827
01:09:12,708 --> 01:09:16,540
- finally he asked if I would walk out
and eat pizza with him.

828
01:09:16,666 --> 01:09:18,165
Ib, what the hell are you doing?

829
01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:24,165
I was so nervous and also hungry,
so of course I said yes.

830
01:09:25,208 --> 01:09:28,832
When he kissed me outside
Pizzeria Milano...

831
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:34,707
...I swear my knees were like rubber
and my heart missed a slag.

832
01:09:35,916 --> 01:09:41,499
You probably are the two ugliest
trannies I have ever laid my eyes on.

833
01:09:41,625 --> 01:09:45,332
I think I am gonna be sick.

834
01:09:45,458 --> 01:09:50,040
- I agree.
- What are you saying?

835
01:09:52,041 --> 01:09:57,749
I am saying you both look like retired
Ukrainian hookers in a car crash.

836
01:09:57,875 --> 01:10:00,207
I'm glad the lights are out.

837
01:10:00,333 --> 01:10:05,332
- How dare you talk to women like that?
- How dare I?

838
01:10:05,458 --> 01:10:08,082
- Ib, goddammit.
- You are very ugly.

839
01:10:08,208 --> 01:10:11,165
- Fuck you!
- Please don't.

840
01:10:15,833 --> 01:10:17,499
No!

841
01:10:18,291 --> 01:10:24,457
What the hell got into you, Ib?
What the hell got into you, man?!

842
01:10:24,583 --> 01:10:27,374
I won't have him talk
to Gritt like that.

843
01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:31,540
- You're not Gritt, you're Ib!
- Where am I? Is my hair okay?

844
01:10:31,666 --> 01:10:34,207
You're not Gritt, you're Ib.
You're a man!

845
01:10:34,333 --> 01:10:38,624
It was the woman inside me, Edward.
She came thundering out.

846
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:42,582
Suddenly I felt breasts,
ovaries and everything.

847
01:10:42,708 --> 01:10:46,999
Suddenly I'd like to have kids.

848
01:10:49,583 --> 01:10:53,832
Give it to me. Give it to me.
Give it to me!

849
01:10:56,500 --> 01:11:00,040
Ib, stop looking at me like that.

850
01:11:00,166 --> 01:11:03,415
We have to get outta here!
We must find the girls.

851
01:11:03,541 --> 01:11:05,415
We have to put an end to this!

852
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:28,624
- Pick up the goddamn phone, Ingrid.
- Ingrid speaking.

853
01:11:28,750 --> 01:11:32,665
<i>- Hi, Ingrid, it's me.
- Hi, Edward.</i>

854
01:11:32,791 --> 01:11:36,332
Look, we have to meet right away!

855
01:11:36,458 --> 01:11:41,540
- Don't you boss me around.
- Oh, I didn't mean to boss you around.

856
01:11:41,666 --> 01:11:44,999
You bet you didn't.
You sound so grumpy.

857
01:11:45,125 --> 01:11:49,624
- No, I'm just a bit stressed out.
- You sound grumpy.

858
01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:53,707
I know I'm grumpy.
We've been over it like 4,000 times.

859
01:11:53,833 --> 01:11:57,082
<i>- But it doesn't sink in, does it?
- We have to meet right away.</i>

860
01:11:57,208 --> 01:11:59,624
Let's meet at the inn, then.

861
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:04,165
No, we can't meet there.

862
01:12:04,291 --> 01:12:06,082
- What's up?
- Be there.

863
01:12:06,208 --> 01:12:09,332
<i>- We'll meet there. No problem.
- Just be there.</i>

864
01:12:09,458 --> 01:12:12,624
Goddamn it, Ib,
We're meeting at the inn.

865
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:15,165
I couldn't... shit.

866
01:12:15,291 --> 01:12:20,582
Let me out! Fucking bitches!

867
01:12:24,625 --> 01:12:27,874
- What the hell...?
- What the hell happened to you?

868
01:12:31,166 --> 01:12:36,749
- Look, we can't talk here.
- This is a fine place to talk.

869
01:12:36,875 --> 01:12:39,665
You can't hurt us here, you see.

870
01:12:39,791 --> 01:12:42,915
Well, what happened to your killer?

871
01:12:44,416 --> 01:12:46,999
Yes...

872
01:12:47,083 --> 01:12:51,249
- You know?
- We know everything.

873
01:12:51,375 --> 01:12:56,249
As a matter offact,
we've got Heinz on the phone.

874
01:12:56,375 --> 01:12:59,374
We told him we felt threatened -

875
01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:02,374
- so he's ready to move out
if you try anything.

876
01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:06,040
- Oh, Heinz?
- Right, Gritt?

877
01:13:22,333 --> 01:13:24,749
Why are you looking like that?

878
01:13:24,875 --> 01:13:28,374
Maybe you'd like to explain -

879
01:13:28,500 --> 01:13:34,290
- what the hell is going on
in your sick heads. A hitman?!

880
01:13:34,416 --> 01:13:39,457
This whole mess with the divorce
and the moneyjust really got to us -

881
01:13:39,583 --> 01:13:42,374
- and then we did a stupid thing.

882
01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:44,832
It's very human -

883
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:50,290
- to mess up and live to regret it.

884
01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:55,457
Maybe it's subconscious.
You do something against your will.

885
01:13:55,583 --> 01:13:58,165
You want to do something -

886
01:13:58,291 --> 01:14:00,540
- but you don't want to after all.

887
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:02,999
We know what subconscious means.

888
01:14:03,125 --> 01:14:07,832
We'd never kill you
on account of alimony.

889
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:10,165
Nobody deserves to die. Not you either.

890
01:14:10,291 --> 01:14:14,249
- Do you want me to call the police?
- Mind your own business, will you?

891
01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:19,415
- Aren't they threatening to kill you?
- Do we look dead? No, right?

892
01:14:19,541 --> 01:14:24,332
- Ingrid, you'd better keep it down.
- You don't discuss killing your wife.

893
01:14:24,458 --> 01:14:28,249
- We're discussing them considering it.
- Well, you don't consider it either.

894
01:14:28,375 --> 01:14:32,999
So none ofyou have ever had
forbidden thoughts?

895
01:14:33,125 --> 01:14:36,624
If only you could blow the head off the
guy who cuts you off at the crossing -

896
01:14:36,750 --> 01:14:39,332
- or the guy blocking the escalator.

897
01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:43,832
Or your husband who always forgets your
anniversary and gives you a blender.

898
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:49,457
Or when you're busy and stuck
in the line at the supermarket -

899
01:14:49,583 --> 01:14:52,874
- I'm just saying, that makes
some of us think certain thoughts.

900
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:56,832
- But not you.
- That blender works like a dream.

901
01:14:57,000 --> 01:15:00,540
No, you're so polite and you've
got your head so far up your ass -

902
01:15:00,666 --> 01:15:02,999
- you can look out through your throat.

903
01:15:10,833 --> 01:15:13,499
Don't drink any more!

904
01:15:17,291 --> 01:15:19,165
- She's here.
- Get out!

905
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:28,665
- It's flat! They're all flat!
- Run!

906
01:15:28,791 --> 01:15:33,165
- They're all flat.
- Taxi! Taxi!

907
01:15:39,250 --> 01:15:40,415
Go!

908
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:49,207
I don't think
you look very happy tonight.

909
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,040
What is wrong with you people?

910
01:16:00,333 --> 01:16:04,374
You have no problems.
You have no problems.

911
01:16:04,500 --> 01:16:08,624
My mother and father in Murmansk
far away, they have problems.

912
01:16:08,750 --> 01:16:12,290
They live together for 50 years.
They are married for 50 years -

913
01:16:12,416 --> 01:16:15,540
- but they still kiss.

914
01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:21,124
They have problems, they fight.
She hit him, he fall, she pick him up.

915
01:16:21,250 --> 01:16:26,707
But they love each other, they kiss
each other, they fuck each other.

916
01:16:26,833 --> 01:16:31,832
She's very, very big woman,
and he has a very, very small dick.

917
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:37,415
But you know, a little tiny fuck
is always better than no fuck.

918
01:16:37,541 --> 01:16:43,374
And you have everything. You have
woman, man, car, house, money.

919
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:46,499
You have everything,
but you have no fuck!

920
01:16:46,625 --> 01:16:50,999
Edward... Edward?
What are you doing, Edward?

921
01:16:51,750 --> 01:16:54,999
Sit.
Sit down, Edward.

922
01:17:01,291 --> 01:17:06,999
I really like you guys, but it just
makes me so sad when I see sad people.

923
01:17:07,125 --> 01:17:10,665
Hello, Igor?
You're alright, you're okay.

924
01:17:10,791 --> 01:17:15,874
You talk about being happy
all the time -

925
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:19,999
- but are you happy, Igor?
Where is love in your life?

926
01:17:20,125 --> 01:17:25,707
I think you just kill people
because they're like you. Unhappy.

927
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,790
You really think this is some kind
of stupid movie moment?

928
01:17:30,916 --> 01:17:36,040
Yes, Igor. This is where
the good guy talks to the bad guy -

929
01:17:36,166 --> 01:17:41,332
- and he makes him realize
that he's totally wrong.

930
01:17:41,458 --> 01:17:43,999
I haven't seen that work in a movie.

931
01:17:44,083 --> 01:17:47,540
Then you haven't seen many, many movies.

932
01:17:47,666 --> 01:17:51,040
- There's many, many, many movies...
- Name one.

933
01:17:54,583 --> 01:17:58,457
Okay, Igor, then try this one.

934
01:17:58,583 --> 01:18:03,040
Have you ever given it a thought
that maybe people are unhappy -

935
01:18:03,166 --> 01:18:07,707
- just before you're going to kill them,
because you are going to kill them?

936
01:18:08,583 --> 01:18:11,915
Maybe that makes them
just a tiny little bit unhappy.

937
01:18:12,041 --> 01:18:17,457
Think that might just play a tiny little
fucking role, huh, you stupid Russian?

938
01:18:18,875 --> 01:18:22,457
Okay, Edward, now you tell me -

939
01:18:22,583 --> 01:18:24,665
- or I will kill you.

940
01:18:24,791 --> 01:18:27,790
When was the last time
you made your woman happy?

941
01:18:27,916 --> 01:18:31,457
There's never any time! She's going to
her goddamn salsa lessons all the time.

942
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:33,332
Oh, cut it out!

943
01:18:39,541 --> 01:18:42,040
- Now we have a little time.
- What?

944
01:18:42,166 --> 01:18:45,707
So try to make her happy, Edward.

945
01:18:49,875 --> 01:18:53,999
- Well, what do you want me to say?
- Christ, you're romantic!

946
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:58,290
- Say something to her.
- Sure.

947
01:18:58,416 --> 01:19:00,457
Sure...

948
01:19:00,583 --> 01:19:03,249
Ingrid, I think you're hot.

949
01:19:03,375 --> 01:19:07,207
And I think
it's a waste of tits and ass...

950
01:19:07,333 --> 01:19:11,457
- Holy crap!
- At least pretend I'm making you happy!

951
01:19:11,583 --> 01:19:15,457
He doesn't understand Danish.
Or would you rather die?

952
01:19:15,583 --> 01:19:19,290
Edward, try to talk about her eyes.

953
01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:26,832
Yes, well... Your eyes are so...

954
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,499
Sure, your eyes are...

955
01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:33,790
...round and blue.

956
01:19:33,916 --> 01:19:37,082
Grey, green, no, brown.

957
01:19:37,208 --> 01:19:39,582
- They're blue-grey, you idiot!
- Shit!

958
01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:44,624
Ingrid, you're always on my mind.
You're with me all the time.

959
01:19:46,833 --> 01:19:52,249
And it's not your ass I see, but your
eyes, because they're really special -

960
01:19:52,375 --> 01:19:57,790
- your eyes are.
Both deep and... naughty.

961
01:19:57,916 --> 01:20:00,790
You have very intense eyes.

962
01:20:00,916 --> 01:20:05,874
I don't understand
why you're with a grump like me.

963
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:09,874
But then you aren't anymore.

964
01:20:11,166 --> 01:20:15,999
All I know is
that for the rest of my life -

965
01:20:16,125 --> 01:20:19,415
- I'll remember those eyes.

966
01:20:22,583 --> 01:20:26,290
But then that's only
a couple of minutes.

967
01:20:26,416 --> 01:20:29,374
I'm sorry, darling.

968
01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:33,915
Oh, Edward,
I don't want anybody else than you.

969
01:20:34,041 --> 01:20:37,540
If only you were someone else.

970
01:20:45,583 --> 01:20:47,874
That was beautiful.

971
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:51,999
Edward, you make us happy.

972
01:20:59,041 --> 01:21:01,165
Igor?

973
01:21:04,208 --> 01:21:08,874
<i>Cyanide... 30 seconds.
And nothing...</i>

974
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:12,415
Haven't tasted such shitty vodka
since I was eight.

975
01:21:40,541 --> 01:21:41,749
No!

976
01:21:55,375 --> 01:21:56,999
No!

977
01:22:16,750 --> 01:22:19,582
The word salsa!

978
01:22:19,708 --> 01:22:25,374
Some say it comes from the sound
the Cuban musicians made -

979
01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:28,582
- while they played.

980
01:22:28,708 --> 01:22:35,249
Others claim it's because
salsa is a blend of many styles.

981
01:22:35,375 --> 01:22:40,540
Like the salsa sauce.
A little bit of everything.

982
01:22:40,666 --> 01:22:46,082
A little soft, a little sweet,
a little spicy.

983
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:51,457
Like life itself.
We love, we hate.

984
01:22:51,583 --> 01:22:54,874
We fight -

985
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:56,499
- and we kiss.

986
01:23:56,125 --> 01:23:59,707
Shit, I hate this.
It just isn't me at all.

987
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:03,207
It's a load of bull.
These clothes are too tight.

988
01:24:03,333 --> 01:24:07,040
They're not intended to be worn.
They make you look stupid.

989
01:24:07,166 --> 01:24:09,540
It's not me at all.

990
01:24:09,666 --> 01:24:13,457
- Well, Gritt and I are off now.
- Already?

991
01:24:13,583 --> 01:24:16,040
Gritt's ovaries hurt.

992
01:24:16,166 --> 01:24:19,040
You're brave.
What about nuchal folds?

993
01:24:19,166 --> 01:24:23,540
With or without nuchal folds.
Ovulation in an hour.

994
01:25:14,500 --> 01:25:19,040
So, you finally finished
the Great Wall of China, huh?

995
01:25:19,166 --> 01:25:21,457
No need for sarcasm.

996
01:25:21,583 --> 01:25:26,415
- How are things with the girls at home?
- Just fine, Mrs. Hansen.

997
01:25:26,541 --> 01:25:30,874
It sure sounds like
you're boring in bed.

998
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:35,999
- But, Mrs. Hansen...
- Time for a screwdriver!

999
01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:41,707
Oh dear.
Give me a hand, will you?

1000
01:25:41,833 --> 01:25:44,665
As for your women...

1001
01:25:44,791 --> 01:25:49,040
Men don't understand
it's all about the clitoris.

1002
01:25:49,166 --> 01:25:51,415
Most can't even find it.

1003
01:25:51,541 --> 01:25:55,415
And not only my late Poul,
but all my lovers.

1004
01:25:55,541 --> 01:25:57,665
Couldn't find it.

1005
01:25:57,791 --> 01:26:03,040
Searched for it like
it was the Higgs Boson in Switzerland.

1006
01:26:03,166 --> 01:26:06,707
They kept licking away
in all the wrong places.

1007
01:26:06,833 --> 01:26:13,457
No, I won't climax
if you put my big toe in your mouth!

1008
01:26:13,583 --> 01:26:17,040
How about I show you how it's done?

1009
01:26:17,166 --> 01:26:20,457
We could all go lie on the sofa.

1010
01:26:20,583 --> 01:26:23,999
My crawl space could do
with a nice makeover.

1011
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:28,165
Let's just settle the bill later,
Mrs. Hansen.

1012
01:27:00,083 --> 01:27:22,082
 ★★★★★ POOP ★★★★★