1
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,425
Ron Burgundy.
2
00:00:55,558 --> 00:01:00,019
Many years he was
the news prophet of San Diego.
3
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:04,014
But suddenly he disappeared,
like a flickering comet.
4
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:08,315
Where does the next chapter start
of the legend of Ron Burgundy?
5
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:13,156
Somewhere where all the greats go
for the second part of their lives.
6
00:01:13,285 --> 00:01:14,281
New York.
7
00:01:34,099 --> 00:01:35,558
Ron Burgundy.
8
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:39,393
That lady has an ass
like the Loch Ness Monster.
9
00:01:39,772 --> 00:01:42,726
Mysterious and popular.
10
00:01:43,109 --> 00:01:45,101
Don't you say anything to him?
11
00:01:45,236 --> 00:01:47,193
With an ass like the North Star
12
00:01:47,322 --> 00:01:49,030
you get that wise men want to follow you.
13
00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:52,695
There were no cell phones yet
or steroids.
14
00:01:52,827 --> 00:01:57,406
Life was good for Ron
and Veronica, now his wife.
15
00:01:57,541 --> 00:02:01,159
The tooth fairy's bare chest
made the child shy.
16
00:02:02,212 --> 00:02:05,463
The bishop wore bare-bottomed pants
at the bat mitzvah.
17
00:02:05,591 --> 00:02:07,418
Bat mitzvah.
18
00:02:08,052 --> 00:02:12,264
André the Giant gave
a surprisingly skilled foot massage.
19
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:13,511
Foot massage.
20
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,561
Corningstone. Corningstone.
21
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:21,894
Oh, no.
22
00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:23,899
They come through the back door.
23
00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:25,023
Oh, no.
24
00:02:26,071 --> 00:02:27,269
Oh, no.
25
00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:29,948
Get the kids. Save the children.
26
00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,488
Five, four...
27
00:02:32,036 --> 00:02:34,324
- Good luck with the broadcast.
- You too, honey.
28
00:02:36,832 --> 00:02:37,828
Good evening.
29
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:41,043
This is the weekend edition
from WBC News at 6:30 PM
30
00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:42,451
My name is Ron Burgundy.
31
00:02:42,588 --> 00:02:44,166
I'm Veronica Corningstone.
32
00:02:44,299 --> 00:02:45,757
Our main topic tonight.
33
00:02:45,884 --> 00:02:47,378
The UN announces sanctions against...
34
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:51,460
Send those two to my office
after the broadcast.
35
00:02:51,932 --> 00:02:53,841
Time for change.
36
00:02:57,855 --> 00:03:02,351
Rumor has it
after 35 years at the helm
37
00:03:02,902 --> 00:03:05,571
Mack Tannen is thinking about quitting.
38
00:03:05,696 --> 00:03:06,692
Indeed.
39
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:13,233
Would we get the Nightly News?
40
00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:15,491
That's exactly what's going to happen.
41
00:03:15,623 --> 00:03:17,415
My god, that's really it, isn't it?
42
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:19,499
- I'm going to hyperventilate.
- I see.
43
00:03:21,546 --> 00:03:22,922
Look at me.
44
00:03:23,048 --> 00:03:25,337
You... Well.
45
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:27,376
I laugh like a ventriloquist's dummy.
46
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,005
Indeed.
47
00:03:29,138 --> 00:03:30,929
That has to stop
before we go in.
48
00:03:31,056 --> 00:03:32,467
Don't do that there, honey.
49
00:03:33,142 --> 00:03:36,143
Mr. Tannen, you are an inspiration.
50
00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:41,267
I do the evening news
for over 35 years now.
51
00:03:41,609 --> 00:03:43,519
- And you're doing great.
- Yes.
52
00:03:43,653 --> 00:03:44,898
Great.
53
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:49,027
But it is a demanding job.
54
00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,190
Yes.
55
00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:55,487
I'm starting to think
that you could handle it.
56
00:03:56,792 --> 00:03:58,749
Let me see.
57
00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:03,036
Oh my god.
58
00:04:04,383 --> 00:04:06,257
Can I say you smell wonderful?
59
00:04:06,385 --> 00:04:08,046
-Ron.
- Okay.
60
00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,097
What are you?
61
00:04:11,266 --> 00:04:12,297
Finnish?
62
00:04:14,102 --> 00:04:17,637
Strangely enough
I am 100% Mexican.
63
00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:20,141
I'm from Oaxaca.
64
00:04:20,275 --> 00:04:22,517
Not true, honey.
65
00:04:23,362 --> 00:04:24,986
Hello, sir.
66
00:04:25,114 --> 00:04:27,023
My heart is racing.
67
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:34,284
I must say:
this is terrifying and very unusual.
68
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,201
You approve of the merchandise, don't you?
69
00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:42,579
Sorry.
70
00:04:44,301 --> 00:04:45,711
Correct.
71
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:52,968
We're going to make history.
72
00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:54,929
- Veronica.
- Yes?
73
00:04:55,563 --> 00:05:00,902
You will be the first female
full-time news presenter.
74
00:05:01,027 --> 00:05:03,648
- Heavens.
- I knew it.
75
00:05:03,863 --> 00:05:05,192
And you, Mr. Burgundy...
76
00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:07,986
I will be the first presenter
with lactose intolerance.
77
00:05:08,159 --> 00:05:10,235
- Mr. Burgundy.
- Yes?
78
00:05:10,453 --> 00:05:11,864
You're fired.
79
00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:13,539
Sorry?
80
00:05:13,874 --> 00:05:15,072
Dismissed.
81
00:05:15,584 --> 00:05:19,249
You are the worst newsreader
82
00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:21,750
of all time.
83
00:05:22,508 --> 00:05:25,177
Then what did I do wrong?
Name one thing.
84
00:05:25,511 --> 00:05:29,212
Korean soldiers have been shot at
in the demilitarized zone.
85
00:05:30,057 --> 00:05:31,552
Geez, sorry.
86
00:05:31,684 --> 00:05:34,140
Someone used capital letters.
87
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:36,346
That's what I thought
that I had to scream.
88
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:39,983
President Parter... Shit.
89
00:05:40,235 --> 00:05:44,233
President Carter
will speak at the summit on Tuesday.
90
00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:46,239
Tony, did I just swear?
91
00:05:46,366 --> 00:05:48,359
No, right? Shit.
92
00:05:48,494 --> 00:05:51,245
I mean... Shit. Choke.
93
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:54,951
The murdered civil rights activist
was praised...
94
00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:59,414
Did you see that? Right on the lens.
95
00:05:59,964 --> 00:06:01,340
Sorry, folks.
96
00:06:01,466 --> 00:06:03,957
I think it's important
to be professional
97
00:06:04,093 --> 00:06:06,881
and such language is inappropriate, isn't it?
98
00:06:07,013 --> 00:06:09,255
I'm having a shit day. Goddammit.
99
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:12,685
This is difficult, given your relationship.
100
00:06:12,811 --> 00:06:15,349
I'll give you time tonight
to think about it.
101
00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:16,761
I forbid you.
102
00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:20,683
Do you forbid it?
Are you Julius Caesar or something?
103
00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:22,654
Who is Julius Caesar?
104
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,737
You know I never watch sports, right?
105
00:06:24,865 --> 00:06:27,072
I'm very sorry this happened,
106
00:06:27,201 --> 00:06:29,609
but you and I are a team, baby.
107
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:33,578
If something good happens to me,
it is good for you too.
108
00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:35,121
That's ridiculous.
109
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:37,209
This is only good for you.
110
00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:39,164
You... Quiet.
111
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:40,961
Mom?
112
00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:42,751
Sorry, Mr and Mrs Burgundy.
113
00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:43,999
He doesn't want to sleep.
114
00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:45,714
Damn it, Lupita.
What have you been doing?
115
00:06:45,846 --> 00:06:47,044
Eating nachos?
116
00:06:47,181 --> 00:06:50,467
Mom? Dad? Why are you shouting?
117
00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:52,802
Has mommy again
touched daddy's hair?
118
00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:55,684
Walter, just go to bed, okay?
119
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,021
Mom and Dad need to talk.
120
00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,610
No, he needs to hear this.
121
00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:02,187
He's six. He's a man.
122
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,232
Walter, listen.
123
00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:05,985
Life is not a fairy tale.
124
00:07:06,118 --> 00:07:09,237
It's not just jumping rope
and chasing the girls.
125
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:10,659
It's complicated.
126
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:11,910
What do you want to achieve?
127
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,321
What do you want to be when you grow up?
128
00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:15,831
I want to be an astronaut or a cowboy.
129
00:07:15,961 --> 00:07:18,120
You're not going to succeed.
130
00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:19,204
Ron.
131
00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:21,333
You have to set the bar a lot lower.
132
00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:24,172
Service industry.
Chip baker, prison guard.
133
00:07:24,303 --> 00:07:26,795
Maybe the boy of light
at a porn movie.
134
00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:31,850
Then you hold a flashlight while
adults are doing something.
135
00:07:32,145 --> 00:07:33,474
It's a child, Ron.
136
00:07:33,605 --> 00:07:36,179
No.
He already has hair on his balls.
137
00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:37,858
He's old enough for this.
138
00:07:37,985 --> 00:07:39,183
Your father is a wise man.
139
00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:41,442
I'll lock you in a closet.
140
00:07:41,697 --> 00:07:44,188
Veronica, it comes down to this.
141
00:07:44,909 --> 00:07:46,985
It's a simple choice.
142
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:52,078
Me or that job.
143
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,955
It doesn't have to be a choice.
144
00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:57,004
Don't do this now.
145
00:07:57,213 --> 00:08:01,081
Do not throw away
what we have worked so hard for.
146
00:08:01,843 --> 00:08:03,041
I...
147
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,377
...or that job.
148
00:08:20,905 --> 00:08:23,859
Welcome to the dolphin show
from 3:10 PM at SeaWorld.
149
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:24,987
SIX MONTHS LATER
150
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:26,660
Sponsored by British Petroleum.
151
00:08:26,786 --> 00:08:29,194
B.P. Oil, nature's best friend
152
00:08:29,331 --> 00:08:32,332
Here is your host: Ron Burgundy.
153
00:08:32,751 --> 00:08:35,076
Good afternoon, everyone.
154
00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:38,083
Welcome to
the world famous SeaWorld
155
00:08:38,215 --> 00:08:41,002
in San Diago, California.
156
00:08:41,343 --> 00:08:45,922
A fun fact: dolphins are
not fish, but mammals.
157
00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:48,430
Another fun fact:
158
00:08:48,893 --> 00:08:54,599
I haven't been there for three months
lovingly hugged by a human.
159
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:01,856
I paid a bum
to spoon-feed me.
160
00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:06,655
Here are our top trainers,
161
00:09:06,912 --> 00:09:08,323
Jesse and Paula.
162
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,914
Thank you, Ron.
163
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:14,168
I try to kiss them sometimes.
164
00:09:16,214 --> 00:09:22,169
Let's find the stars of the show
greetings: Chippy and Roo-roo.
165
00:09:22,303 --> 00:09:23,466
For your information:
166
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:27,179
Chippy comes from a shelter
and Roo-roo is an asshole.
167
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:31,099
Look, they are swimming and doing tricks.
168
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:32,938
What did you think?
They are dolphins.
169
00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:36,187
What are you saying?
170
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,110
Look at that permanent grin.
171
00:09:38,237 --> 00:09:40,360
You think you're so smart
with your secret language.
172
00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:42,149
You just fart out of your mouth.
173
00:09:43,826 --> 00:09:46,317
You suck, Ron Burgundy.
174
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:49,997
All children and animals hate you.
175
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,871
I would eat dolphins if it were legal.
176
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,375
Let me go, you clowns.
177
00:09:57,049 --> 00:09:59,919
First you throw up in the shark tank.
178
00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:02,341
Then you feed the seals
a chicken sandwich.
179
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:03,846
And now this?
180
00:10:03,973 --> 00:10:05,965
You're fired, you wasted drunk.
181
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,928
Guess what, Trevor?
182
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,852
I come here every day
half an hour early
183
00:10:09,979 --> 00:10:12,552
to rape a starfish.
184
00:10:14,108 --> 00:10:16,979
This is the end.
I know what I have to do.
185
00:10:18,738 --> 00:10:20,530
Indeed, it is not a pleasant sight.
186
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,068
And you are the only witness.
187
00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:25,281
If you can't handle it,
then go to the hallway.
188
00:10:25,412 --> 00:10:28,413
Goodbye, dear hairy prince.
189
00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:36,828
Whipped cream on nipples.
190
00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:38,758
Mr Burgundy? Hello, I...
191
00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:41,554
Oh my god.
192
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,423
What happened?
193
00:10:46,101 --> 00:10:48,010
I tried to hang myself?
194
00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:49,769
Because my life is in ruins?
195
00:10:50,313 --> 00:10:51,973
And I saw no other way out?
196
00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,266
I believe you are telling the truth,
but why does it sound like a lie?
197
00:10:56,445 --> 00:10:58,153
Because it was a cry for help?
198
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,483
And it didn't work,
because I was too heavy for the lamp?
199
00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:03,820
Something like that?
200
00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:06,705
I think you are telling the truth.
201
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:08,870
Yes, that happened.
202
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:13,169
These are first-class pancakes.
203
00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:17,966
Suicide makes you hungry
trust me.
204
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:22,679
I'm Freddie Shapp.
Producer of a new kind of news.
205
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:25,470
Let's start
a 24-hour news channel.
206
00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:26,923
The first of its kind.
207
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,848
GNN, The Global News Network.
208
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,482
That's the stupidest idea of all time.
209
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:40,191
Only news, 24 hours a day?
210
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,650
A channel that is never off the air, in other words.
211
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:46,071
Yes, just for 24 hours. That...
212
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,915
I don't mean to offend you,
but you're a stupid bastard.
213
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,710
I assure you we are 100% real.
214
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,330
We have a super modern facility
in Manhattan.
215
00:11:56,467 --> 00:12:00,547
And Kench Allenby, multi-millionaire
and owner of Koala Airlines.
216
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,219
I'm so happy
that he has been acquitted of murder.
217
00:12:03,349 --> 00:12:05,223
I'm a fan of Kench Allenby.
218
00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:08,353
He finances the channel. He believes in it.
219
00:12:08,646 --> 00:12:10,473
You don't get it, Freddie.
220
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:16,402
My hero, Mack Tannen, mentioned me
the worst journalist of all time.
221
00:12:17,739 --> 00:12:19,697
I'm not good enough.
222
00:12:19,825 --> 00:12:20,821
Here.
223
00:12:20,993 --> 00:12:23,365
Your salary for the first week.
224
00:12:25,706 --> 00:12:28,114
At the hymen
by Olivia Newton-John.
225
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:30,168
What do you say, Ron?
226
00:12:32,046 --> 00:12:33,838
I'll take the job.
227
00:12:34,382 --> 00:12:37,632
And I swear I'll get back to the top.
228
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:42,176
I get my son and my reputation back,
229
00:12:42,307 --> 00:12:44,383
and I'll make it up to Veronica.
230
00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:46,178
But more importantly:
231
00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:50,439
I'm going to do what God does
Ron Burgundy intended.
232
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:53,776
Have a great haircut
and present the news.
233
00:12:54,403 --> 00:12:57,606
Ron... You make me very happy.
234
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,982
I have the best news team in the world.
235
00:13:00,409 --> 00:13:03,245
- You name it.
- I just have to look for them.
236
00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:06,077
GREAT CLASS
237
00:13:11,796 --> 00:13:15,462
San Diago.
We start our search at home.
238
00:13:15,634 --> 00:13:19,632
Champ Kind was fired when he
showed his dick to Pat Summerall.
239
00:13:22,683 --> 00:13:25,139
- Who loves chicken? You.
- We.
240
00:13:25,269 --> 00:13:27,511
Delicious chicken
Come and visit
241
00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,770
With us
242
00:13:29,899 --> 00:13:33,897
I'm Champ Kind, known throughout
San Diego. I believe in two things.
243
00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:35,024
Good chicken
244
00:13:35,155 --> 00:13:39,568
and if there is a nuclear disaster, and
that will happen, I will make children.
245
00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:41,694
Come by for a chicken wing.
246
00:13:41,828 --> 00:13:44,865
And then you'll shout, 'Whammy.'
247
00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,950
Forbidden for Catholics and Jews.
248
00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:48,247
Please.
249
00:13:48,377 --> 00:13:50,950
One Whammy special
with Whammy salad.
250
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:54,215
There is a used plaster
in my salad.
251
00:13:54,342 --> 00:13:56,251
Oh dear, I'll do something about that right away.
252
00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:59,755
Get out before I bash your brains in
dirty communist.
253
00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:02,427
If you're from the census,
then take me off the list.
254
00:14:03,726 --> 00:14:06,300
You already had that before
no manners, Champ.
255
00:14:06,438 --> 00:14:08,347
Ron? Ron Burgundy?
256
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:10,640
- Come here.
- How's it going, buddy?
257
00:14:10,776 --> 00:14:13,018
I've longed for you so much.
258
00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:14,559
Nice to see you again.
259
00:14:14,696 --> 00:14:16,155
This feels like old times.
260
00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:17,897
Are you okay?
261
00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:20,026
Fine. Much better.
262
00:14:20,202 --> 00:14:22,872
Shall we break the embrace?
263
00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:25,290
- Okay.
- Okay.
264
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,124
Come back.
265
00:14:27,251 --> 00:14:28,414
Don't be silly.
266
00:14:28,962 --> 00:14:31,204
So then Harken said to me:
267
00:14:31,339 --> 00:14:34,293
“Champ, you're dangerous
alcoholic, a racist,
268
00:14:34,426 --> 00:14:36,964
'and I think you have
they know a lot about sports.'
269
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:40,678
I said, 'Ed, you dirty Pole,
it's 10:00 in the morning.
270
00:14:40,807 --> 00:14:42,136
'Let's have a drink,
271
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:45,268
'go to baseball
and seeing Mexicans score touchdowns.”
272
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:46,345
Then he fired me.
273
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,692
Luckily I'm on my way to the exit
pretended to get hurt.
274
00:14:50,818 --> 00:14:52,727
Of the compensation
I bought this tent.
275
00:14:52,862 --> 00:14:54,985
Nice to see
that you ended up well.
276
00:14:56,032 --> 00:14:57,740
Can I ask you something?
277
00:14:57,992 --> 00:14:59,321
Sure. Everything.
278
00:14:59,828 --> 00:15:01,322
Is this chicken?
279
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,162
Of course not.
280
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:06,826
You can't possibly make a profit
if you serve real chicken.
281
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:09,043
Yes, we usually use bats.
282
00:15:09,171 --> 00:15:10,167
- What?
- Yes.
283
00:15:10,297 --> 00:15:12,337
But of good quality.
284
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:14,423
I have never
heard something so horrible.
285
00:15:14,552 --> 00:15:15,500
Oh, yes?
286
00:15:15,636 --> 00:15:17,545
You do what you gotta do, right?
287
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,756
And so you must
serve fried bat?
288
00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:22,464
Yes. You know how bats
be mentioned?
289
00:15:22,727 --> 00:15:24,969
- Bats.
- 'Cave chickens.'
290
00:15:25,104 --> 00:15:26,978
Nobody calls them cave chickens.
291
00:15:27,106 --> 00:15:29,313
Take a bite and stop criticizing.
292
00:15:29,442 --> 00:15:31,150
I don't eat fried bat.
293
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,273
It's wonderful.
294
00:15:32,404 --> 00:15:34,112
All tendons. Then look.
295
00:15:37,075 --> 00:15:38,320
Was that a bat?
296
00:15:38,619 --> 00:15:40,446
Cave chicken.
297
00:15:40,746 --> 00:15:42,240
Why are you here, Ron?
298
00:15:42,456 --> 00:15:45,908
Friend, we have a job.
In New York.
299
00:15:46,043 --> 00:15:47,621
Whammy. I'm in.
300
00:15:47,795 --> 00:15:49,076
You have a sports reporter.
301
00:15:49,213 --> 00:15:50,162
Nice.
302
00:15:50,298 --> 00:15:51,460
Denny.
303
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:54,207
You close.
304
00:15:54,636 --> 00:15:56,178
Do you know where Brian Fantana is?
305
00:15:56,304 --> 00:15:57,679
Haven't you heard?
306
00:15:57,806 --> 00:15:59,430
Fantana is inside.
307
00:15:59,975 --> 00:16:01,884
Oh, baby.
308
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:06,310
All right, play a little
for me.
309
00:16:06,648 --> 00:16:09,186
Roll a little and raise those legs.
310
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,192
You're quite hairy, aren't you?
311
00:16:13,614 --> 00:16:16,651
Yes, I see something very beautiful.
312
00:16:17,034 --> 00:16:19,526
Well done, yes.
313
00:16:19,787 --> 00:16:22,113
My little fur hat, like that...
314
00:16:24,876 --> 00:16:25,872
Hebbes.
315
00:16:26,836 --> 00:16:29,375
It couldn't be more beautiful.
316
00:16:29,965 --> 00:16:31,459
- Brilliant.
- Yes.
317
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,798
Hey, Brian, do you have time?
for the regular guys?
318
00:16:37,181 --> 00:16:39,553
Now get some.
319
00:16:42,812 --> 00:16:45,385
- Hey, Brian.
-Champ. How are you?
320
00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:46,554
Hey.
321
00:16:46,691 --> 00:16:48,066
- This is...
- Now cut it down.
322
00:16:48,192 --> 00:16:49,651
Unbelievable...
323
00:16:49,777 --> 00:16:51,320
Great to see you.
324
00:16:51,446 --> 00:16:53,937
Welcome to my base.
325
00:16:54,282 --> 00:16:55,860
This is spectacular.
326
00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:57,190
- Unbelievable.
- It's busy now.
327
00:16:57,327 --> 00:17:00,743
The cover of the Cat Fancy is released.
Then you will know.
328
00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:02,497
I've been living in a tent for two years.
329
00:17:02,624 --> 00:17:04,083
This is something different.
330
00:17:04,209 --> 00:17:05,668
We have a sauna in the kitchen.
331
00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:09,080
Many people find that strange,
but I keep my wine there.
332
00:17:09,215 --> 00:17:11,670
I'm not a wine connoisseur
but I know it has to be warm.
333
00:17:11,801 --> 00:17:13,710
And look at this.
334
00:17:13,845 --> 00:17:15,553
That was fun.
335
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:16,676
I Hate Monday
336
00:17:16,806 --> 00:17:18,763
We will have this in two weeks
made in Prague.
337
00:17:18,892 --> 00:17:21,015
Do you know what they call cats?
338
00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:23,469
- Railroad chicken.
- No.
339
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:25,438
- What?
- Ignore him.
340
00:17:25,565 --> 00:17:27,108
- Yes.
- There's a lot of meat on it.
341
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:28,645
I think it's beautiful.
342
00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:31,648
The great thing is that it is so true.
343
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:32,811
I hate Mondays.
344
00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:34,947
I can't find anything on Monday.
345
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:36,783
Ron doesn't like Mondays.
346
00:17:36,911 --> 00:17:38,820
Me neither.
347
00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:41,161
And not from Tuesday either,
Wednesday and Thursday.
348
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,619
Why are you even here?
349
00:17:44,752 --> 00:17:48,584
We bring our news team
back together again.
350
00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:49,711
Real?
351
00:17:49,841 --> 00:17:51,964
And we want to know
whether you will join us.
352
00:17:52,093 --> 00:17:53,504
I don't know.
353
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:56,092
It's all cat's play here.
354
00:17:56,223 --> 00:17:57,765
I don't know if I can.
355
00:17:57,891 --> 00:17:58,970
I get it.
356
00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:01,010
You are the Quincy Jones
of the cat photographers.
357
00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:02,473
Why would you say goodbye to this?
358
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:06,858
Did you know that there are strip clubs in New York
are where they go completely naked?
359
00:18:09,612 --> 00:18:11,652
But the question is...
360
00:18:12,073 --> 00:18:13,615
Where is Brick Tamland?
361
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:16,535
Don't you know that?
362
00:18:16,661 --> 00:18:18,072
No, what then?
363
00:18:18,204 --> 00:18:19,200
Brick is
364
00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:22,072
dead.
365
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:25,832
'I Love Toasters'
366
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,002
'And also Van Wanten,
Because it's so easy to put on'
367
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,924
BRICK TAMLAND, BORN?
DIED MARCH 4, 1979
368
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:33,625
It's been a year since Brick
disappeared at sea.
369
00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:36,170
He saw a bird and wanted to pet it.
370
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,470
He never came back.
371
00:18:37,892 --> 00:18:40,264
We all loved Brick,
372
00:18:40,395 --> 00:18:42,802
even though he didn't have a phone number.
373
00:18:42,939 --> 00:18:46,225
And no address or citizen service number.
374
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,942
In the six years he worked with us,
he never collected his salary.
375
00:18:50,071 --> 00:18:51,151
That sweet Brick.
376
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:52,526
He was a sensitive man.
377
00:18:52,741 --> 00:18:57,783
He wanted his organs before he died
give up to science,
378
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,446
so he could still see
where they ended up.
379
00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:04,784
We will remember him for a long time
and miss him terribly.
380
00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:11,509
Thank you, pastor.
381
00:19:12,971 --> 00:19:14,050
Come on now.
382
00:19:14,973 --> 00:19:16,384
-Brick was a nice person.
- Real?
383
00:19:16,516 --> 00:19:18,058
I will miss him very much.
384
00:19:18,185 --> 00:19:20,723
I will not rest until I
found his killer.
385
00:19:20,854 --> 00:19:22,135
- What?
- Murderer?
386
00:19:22,272 --> 00:19:25,309
I can't believe it
that he is no longer there.
387
00:19:25,734 --> 00:19:27,478
He's still there.
388
00:19:27,903 --> 00:19:30,738
It feels like I have him
saw yesterday.
389
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,774
You probably saw
yourself in the mirror.
390
00:19:32,908 --> 00:19:36,028
When I heard it,
391
00:19:36,245 --> 00:19:39,330
I couldn't make sense of it.
392
00:19:39,499 --> 00:19:40,661
Nobody understands.
393
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:42,786
Why?
394
00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:45,162
Why do you have him?
taken from us?
395
00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:47,752
You're clearly in front of us, Brick.
396
00:19:47,883 --> 00:19:49,211
Damn.
397
00:19:49,384 --> 00:19:51,258
- Brick.
-Brick's dead.
398
00:19:51,386 --> 00:19:53,130
- No, Brick is alive.
-Brick's dead.
399
00:19:53,263 --> 00:19:54,544
- Then look.
- He's not dead.
400
00:19:54,682 --> 00:19:55,844
He's not dead. You're not dead.
401
00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:57,385
- You're Brick.
- Brick, it's you.
402
00:19:57,518 --> 00:19:58,681
He's dead.
403
00:19:58,811 --> 00:19:59,807
No.
404
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,179
You are Brick. Touch yourself.
405
00:20:02,315 --> 00:20:04,640
- Am I Brick?
- Yes.
406
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:06,893
- Am I alive?
- Yes.
407
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,519
Naturally.
408
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:09,983
Naturally.
409
00:20:10,115 --> 00:20:11,313
Good heavens.
410
00:20:11,449 --> 00:20:14,154
You would him anyway
Want to give a punch, huh?
411
00:20:17,414 --> 00:20:21,079
Do you remember when we had Easter?
went to San Francisco?
412
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:24,127
We were so drunk we hit Brick
put in a cardboard box
413
00:20:24,255 --> 00:20:27,006
and thrown off the Golden Gate Bridge.
414
00:20:27,967 --> 00:20:29,046
Then I broke my back.
415
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,428
And when you challenged Champ
416
00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:34,797
for that stein of beer
to drink full detergent?
417
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:37,258
He drank it dry
before you could shout, 'Don't do that.
418
00:20:37,393 --> 00:20:39,303
"That's pure poison."
419
00:20:41,398 --> 00:20:44,482
I was in a coma for six months.
420
00:20:44,735 --> 00:20:50,109
I have so much neurological damage
that I will never get older than 55.
421
00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:54,027
Three more years to go, buddy.
422
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:55,988
And then you die.
423
00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,404
Hey, remember?
424
00:20:59,542 --> 00:21:03,670
I was alone and dreamed about
an orange tree.
425
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:06,751
But instead of oranges
babies were hanging on it.
426
00:21:07,342 --> 00:21:09,880
It was a baby boom.
427
00:21:10,345 --> 00:21:12,836
We don't know that, do we?
It was your dream.
428
00:21:12,973 --> 00:21:16,342
I know a lot,
it all comes down to the same thing.
429
00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:20,139
It's an interesting dream, but...
430
00:21:20,397 --> 00:21:26,187
And when I was born
and came out of the vagina?
431
00:21:27,196 --> 00:21:28,988
And I screamed:
432
00:21:29,115 --> 00:21:33,065
“I'm coming, Mom. I'm coming.'
433
00:21:34,579 --> 00:21:37,035
What do you mean, Brick? We were not there.
434
00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:40,375
We tell stories
from the past of this news team.
435
00:21:44,590 --> 00:21:46,417
Ron, I can't...
436
00:21:46,550 --> 00:21:48,958
I can't stop laughing.
437
00:21:49,094 --> 00:21:50,802
Put a pencil in his mouth.
438
00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:52,258
It's okay.
439
00:21:53,015 --> 00:21:54,011
Go ahead.
440
00:21:54,141 --> 00:21:55,766
It's already going.
441
00:21:55,893 --> 00:21:59,262
This feels good. The news team is back.
442
00:21:59,397 --> 00:22:03,775
Ron, Brian, Brick, me and even Baxter.
443
00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:07,944
That old guy is so short and hairy.
444
00:22:09,157 --> 00:22:10,320
Ron, who's actually driving?
445
00:22:10,450 --> 00:22:12,443
Don't worry,
the cruise control is on.
446
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:16,906
Who likes a chimichanga?
447
00:22:17,208 --> 00:22:20,458
My best idea ever:
installing a chip shop in the van.
448
00:22:20,836 --> 00:22:23,292
Why have you here
a bag with bowling balls
449
00:22:23,422 --> 00:22:25,581
and a terrarium with scorpions?
450
00:22:25,717 --> 00:22:28,671
- That's a long and strange story.
- Hey, Ron.
451
00:22:28,803 --> 00:22:31,259
Cruise control only regulates your speed,
but does not steer.
452
00:22:32,432 --> 00:22:33,807
What are you saying?
453
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:35,909
That will be another wonderful story.
454
00:23:43,466 --> 00:23:46,336
The Big Apple. Ron Burgundy is back.
455
00:23:46,469 --> 00:23:48,378
Why do they call it the Big Apple?
456
00:23:48,513 --> 00:23:51,467
Because there are on every street in New York
there is an apple tree.
457
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:57,311
There we are. Welcome to GNN.
458
00:24:00,358 --> 00:24:02,932
I don't know, Ron. Are you sure?
459
00:24:03,070 --> 00:24:05,359
It's a bit of a mess
but believe me:
460
00:24:05,489 --> 00:24:08,360
tomorrow everything will be ready for our start.
461
00:24:08,492 --> 00:24:12,324
We've combed the entire country
for the best reporters.
462
00:24:12,455 --> 00:24:14,115
Curtis Knightfish from Houston.
463
00:24:14,248 --> 00:24:15,446
Curtis Knightfish.
464
00:24:15,583 --> 00:24:17,243
There is no better one.
465
00:24:17,376 --> 00:24:20,461
Diane Yahwea of Carson City.
466
00:24:20,588 --> 00:24:23,044
Diane Yahwea.
Do you know what she's called?
467
00:24:23,174 --> 00:24:24,834
“Yahwea will.”
468
00:24:24,968 --> 00:24:26,248
That's my aunt.
469
00:24:26,386 --> 00:24:28,426
And the best of them all:
470
00:24:28,555 --> 00:24:31,011
Jack Lime from Chicago.
471
00:24:31,224 --> 00:24:35,174
Rumor has it that Allenby killed him
one million a year.
472
00:24:35,396 --> 00:24:37,472
That's crazy.
Who is worth that much?
473
00:24:39,233 --> 00:24:42,436
My god. What a piece.
474
00:24:42,987 --> 00:24:45,525
His poop probably smells like violets.
475
00:24:45,656 --> 00:24:47,234
Is there anything I can do for you, man?
476
00:24:47,450 --> 00:24:48,825
What did you say?
477
00:24:48,952 --> 00:24:50,232
Can I do anything for you?
478
00:24:51,704 --> 00:24:52,700
What do you mean?
479
00:24:52,831 --> 00:24:55,203
You're staring at me, hunk.
480
00:24:55,333 --> 00:24:57,077
Do you want my autograph?
481
00:24:59,171 --> 00:25:02,955
No, he told you who you were
and I looked for a moment.
482
00:25:03,092 --> 00:25:06,212
And then he said something
and I still watched.
483
00:25:12,727 --> 00:25:14,969
Jack Lime is great.
484
00:25:17,106 --> 00:25:18,305
Do I sound like this when I talk?
485
00:25:22,529 --> 00:25:23,727
Is something wrong?
486
00:25:23,864 --> 00:25:25,737
No. Nothing.
487
00:25:25,866 --> 00:25:28,191
Your face says something is up.
488
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:30,200
Sorry about my face.
489
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:33,413
I didn't want to make that face.
490
00:25:33,540 --> 00:25:34,821
I don't like that face.
491
00:25:34,959 --> 00:25:36,583
Do something about it, and quickly.
492
00:25:36,710 --> 00:25:38,039
Do something to your face.
493
00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:39,914
Is this face better?
494
00:25:40,047 --> 00:25:40,996
I think so...
495
00:25:41,132 --> 00:25:44,299
That new face is driving me crazy.
Change it, now.
496
00:25:44,427 --> 00:25:45,708
You make him angry.
497
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:47,802
I only have a few faces.
498
00:25:48,765 --> 00:25:51,338
I'm just pissing you off, man.
499
00:25:51,476 --> 00:25:53,220
Welcome to our channel.
500
00:25:53,353 --> 00:25:55,809
We're going to have a good time.
501
00:25:55,939 --> 00:25:59,474
Oh my god. That's typical Jack Lime.
502
00:25:59,693 --> 00:26:00,724
Come on, boys.
503
00:26:00,861 --> 00:26:02,059
We're going to the boss.
504
00:26:02,404 --> 00:26:07,150
We have separate cameras for you
and the sports and the weather.
505
00:26:07,410 --> 00:26:09,652
Just a question, Freddie,
how is the new boss?
506
00:26:09,787 --> 00:26:13,287
Linda Jackson has
a closet full of Emmys.
507
00:26:13,791 --> 00:26:17,872
She is tough as nails.
And Linda likes to win.
508
00:26:18,088 --> 00:26:19,915
Hey, Linda.
509
00:26:20,048 --> 00:26:22,800
Let me introduce you
to Ron Burgundy.
510
00:26:23,176 --> 00:26:26,131
Linda Jackson, how are you, friend?
511
00:26:26,263 --> 00:26:27,259
Ron.
512
00:26:28,057 --> 00:26:29,634
This is Linda Jackson.
513
00:26:30,309 --> 00:26:31,637
Hello, Mr. Burgundy.
514
00:26:35,022 --> 00:26:36,102
Black.
515
00:26:37,441 --> 00:26:39,399
- Black.
- Jesus, stop it, Ron.
516
00:26:40,194 --> 00:26:43,943
I'm terribly sorry. I keep saying...
517
00:26:44,532 --> 00:26:46,359
Black. The word 'black'.
518
00:26:46,493 --> 00:26:48,035
Hello, Mr. Burgundy.
519
00:26:48,161 --> 00:26:49,655
Black.
520
00:26:49,788 --> 00:26:51,579
- Black.
- Stop it.
521
00:26:51,707 --> 00:26:52,821
Black.
522
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,037
Stop with that 'black'.
523
00:26:58,756 --> 00:27:01,543
- Black. If I don't say it, I'll faint.
- Stop it.
524
00:27:01,759 --> 00:27:03,752
Donna, will you get me coffee?
525
00:27:03,886 --> 00:27:05,843
- Coming soon, Ms. Jackson.
- Thank you.
526
00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:08,178
- Please sit down, everyone.
- Please.
527
00:27:08,433 --> 00:27:09,713
Take a seat.
528
00:27:12,228 --> 00:27:16,061
Nice. You know
that all news services
529
00:27:16,191 --> 00:27:18,812
laughing at us for what we want here
on the 24-hour news.
530
00:27:18,944 --> 00:27:20,486
But that's why I'm here.
531
00:27:20,612 --> 00:27:21,691
She's the best.
532
00:27:21,822 --> 00:27:24,028
You see, gentlemen, I never lose.
533
00:27:24,158 --> 00:27:26,150
I think I need to clear the air.
534
00:27:26,285 --> 00:27:27,530
Don't do that.
535
00:27:27,661 --> 00:27:29,571
On behalf of the entire news team
I want to say
536
00:27:29,705 --> 00:27:34,451
that we are big fans
of all Africans and Americans.
537
00:27:34,585 --> 00:27:36,459
Veronica has turned so tan.
538
00:27:36,671 --> 00:27:39,791
I remember the first one
African and American I ever saw.
539
00:27:39,924 --> 00:27:41,668
It's African American.
540
00:27:41,801 --> 00:27:43,379
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
541
00:27:43,511 --> 00:27:46,003
Absolutely 100% sure?
Isn't it like...
542
00:27:46,139 --> 00:27:47,254
Ron...
543
00:27:47,391 --> 00:27:48,801
...salt and pepper?
544
00:27:48,934 --> 00:27:52,979
Inside we are all the same:
smelly and pink.
545
00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,054
In high school
546
00:27:54,189 --> 00:27:56,182
I went with my friends
to the girls' locker room.
547
00:27:56,317 --> 00:27:57,692
We peeked
the girls in the shower.
548
00:27:57,818 --> 00:28:01,353
I looked at all the girls,
I didn't care about their color.
549
00:28:01,489 --> 00:28:02,485
So...
550
00:28:02,615 --> 00:28:05,569
This is the worst meeting
of my life.
551
00:28:05,743 --> 00:28:08,151
When the sun shines,
I'm always followed by a black person.
552
00:28:08,288 --> 00:28:10,411
That must be your shadow, Brick.
553
00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,869
I call him Leon.
554
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,040
And when it's cloudy,
what happens to Leon then?
555
00:28:14,169 --> 00:28:15,118
Then he goes home.
556
00:28:15,253 --> 00:28:16,249
It's your shadow.
557
00:28:16,380 --> 00:28:17,375
He talks about his shadow.
558
00:28:17,506 --> 00:28:19,997
Shut up. Sit down.
559
00:28:22,636 --> 00:28:23,632
What is he doing?
560
00:28:23,762 --> 00:28:26,514
You scared him.
He can't stand yelling.
561
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,183
Is he okay?
562
00:28:28,559 --> 00:28:30,967
Would you like a calming song?
sing to him?
563
00:28:31,104 --> 00:28:32,384
Just a high melody...
564
00:28:35,275 --> 00:28:36,685
I'm not going to sing with you.
565
00:28:37,736 --> 00:28:39,693
Come on, Brick.
566
00:28:39,821 --> 00:28:41,565
Linda has a balloon.
567
00:28:45,035 --> 00:28:46,577
Give him a balloon quickly.
568
00:28:46,703 --> 00:28:47,783
Is this really happening, Freddie?
569
00:28:47,913 --> 00:28:49,288
I'm sorry.
570
00:28:49,415 --> 00:28:51,039
It doesn't matter.
571
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:53,325
So you're getting nervous
from a black boss.
572
00:28:53,461 --> 00:28:54,575
Yes or no?
573
00:28:54,712 --> 00:28:56,669
- Well, a little, to be honest.
- And you?
574
00:28:56,797 --> 00:28:58,707
- Does it make you nervous?
- She has a knife.
575
00:28:58,841 --> 00:29:00,799
I don't care.
576
00:29:00,927 --> 00:29:03,003
We're not here
to sing Kumbaya.
577
00:29:03,596 --> 00:29:04,794
Black.
578
00:29:05,056 --> 00:29:09,101
If you get good ratings,
there is nothing wrong.
579
00:29:09,436 --> 00:29:12,639
If not, I'll be freezing.
580
00:29:12,773 --> 00:29:14,101
And annoying. Do you catch him?
581
00:29:14,233 --> 00:29:16,902
I'll catch him. We catch him.
582
00:29:17,152 --> 00:29:18,267
I like to grasp.
583
00:29:18,404 --> 00:29:22,152
Especially handles.
584
00:29:22,283 --> 00:29:24,026
Out.
585
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,240
You should never give in
in those kinds of situations.
586
00:29:28,373 --> 00:29:30,164
We have good
stood firm.
587
00:29:30,291 --> 00:29:31,454
Boys.
588
00:29:31,584 --> 00:29:34,835
We have an apartment
for those of you on the Upper East Side
589
00:29:34,963 --> 00:29:36,505
and new clothes.
590
00:29:36,631 --> 00:29:39,632
Great. When is
our first broadcast?
591
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,135
Tomorrow is the festive start
592
00:29:41,261 --> 00:29:42,755
- at 12 noon.
- Okay.
593
00:29:42,888 --> 00:29:46,802
You are scheduled
from 2:00 AM to 5:00 AM.
594
00:29:47,184 --> 00:29:50,304
What? That's the night shift.
595
00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:52,354
"I'm not afraid of ghosts."
596
00:29:52,648 --> 00:29:54,558
Come on, it's going to be a lot of fun.
597
00:29:54,692 --> 00:29:56,732
I'll get your keys. Come.
598
00:29:58,988 --> 00:29:59,984
Is there alcohol in the apartment?
599
00:30:00,114 --> 00:30:01,941
Of course there is booze.
600
00:30:24,223 --> 00:30:25,504
It doesn't stop.
601
00:30:25,892 --> 00:30:29,095
Sometimes yes, but then it starts again.
602
00:30:31,106 --> 00:30:34,060
What are you going to do, Chani? Pick up.
603
00:30:35,110 --> 00:30:37,316
Hello. Yes, I will connect you.
604
00:30:38,071 --> 00:30:39,945
You have to answer the phone.
605
00:30:40,491 --> 00:30:42,863
I'm preparing for Christmas drinks.
When is that?
606
00:30:42,993 --> 00:30:45,994
At Christmas. When else?
607
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,576
I'm Brick. Last week I was dead.
608
00:30:52,086 --> 00:30:53,367
I'm Chani.
609
00:30:53,838 --> 00:30:56,792
I like that part
between your head and your body beautiful.
610
00:30:57,092 --> 00:30:58,716
I like your hair.
611
00:31:00,178 --> 00:31:01,838
It looks like wet popcorn.
612
00:31:02,514 --> 00:31:03,925
Thank you.
613
00:31:04,057 --> 00:31:06,679
Do you want to see my smile?
that I put on for photos?
614
00:31:06,810 --> 00:31:07,889
Yes, please.
615
00:31:09,313 --> 00:31:12,729
Do you want to see my face?
when I see a candy snake?
616
00:31:12,858 --> 00:31:14,269
Yes.
617
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,311
Very good.
618
00:31:19,157 --> 00:31:20,900
What is your favorite part of the day?
619
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,196
Now.
620
00:31:23,494 --> 00:31:25,072
And what is your favorite part of the day?
621
00:31:25,371 --> 00:31:26,782
A minute ago.
622
00:32:06,373 --> 00:32:08,496
Surprise. Daddy's back.
623
00:32:08,667 --> 00:32:09,747
Ron.
624
00:32:11,379 --> 00:32:12,837
What are you doing here?
625
00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:15,633
I work at GNN.
I live in the city again.
626
00:32:16,217 --> 00:32:18,423
You should have called.
627
00:32:18,553 --> 00:32:21,126
It doesn't matter
who was to blame for our breakup, okay?
628
00:32:21,264 --> 00:32:22,675
I was stubborn.
629
00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:27,386
And you looked like a crazy whore
with two centuries of PMS.
630
00:32:27,521 --> 00:32:29,229
Where do you want to go, Ron?
631
00:32:29,523 --> 00:32:33,307
I'm home again.
632
00:32:33,610 --> 00:32:35,852
And I want the rest of my life...
633
00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:37,482
Honey, who's there?
634
00:32:43,204 --> 00:32:45,873
Hello, Ron. I'm Gary,
Veronica's lover.
635
00:32:54,466 --> 00:32:57,337
Is that a gift for me, Ron?
636
00:32:57,594 --> 00:32:59,587
No.
637
00:33:00,931 --> 00:33:01,927
It's for Walter.
638
00:33:02,182 --> 00:33:03,178
Okay.
639
00:33:03,475 --> 00:33:05,552
When were you going to tell me about Gary?
640
00:33:05,686 --> 00:33:07,478
You left me.
641
00:33:07,605 --> 00:33:10,357
What did you expect?
642
00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:13,734
This is embarrassing, I understand.
643
00:33:14,028 --> 00:33:17,148
I'm sitting here with your wife.
We have sex.
644
00:33:17,574 --> 00:33:20,610
I feel like blowing your dick off
with an alarm gun.
645
00:33:20,744 --> 00:33:21,823
Ron.
646
00:33:22,204 --> 00:33:24,161
What does Gary do for a living?
647
00:33:24,289 --> 00:33:25,664
Have you checked him out?
648
00:33:25,791 --> 00:33:27,202
Gary is one of the most
649
00:33:27,334 --> 00:33:30,703
successful psychologists
here in Manhattan.
650
00:33:30,838 --> 00:33:31,834
How sweet of you.
651
00:33:32,339 --> 00:33:33,834
Are you reading my thoughts now?
652
00:33:33,966 --> 00:33:36,884
Do you even know what a psychologist is?
653
00:33:38,054 --> 00:33:39,465
Drop dead.
654
00:33:40,473 --> 00:33:41,469
Ron.
655
00:33:41,683 --> 00:33:43,058
- It's okay.
- Stop it.
656
00:33:43,184 --> 00:33:44,465
He expresses himself, that's allowed.
657
00:33:44,602 --> 00:33:46,595
- No, that's not allowed.
- He's angry.
658
00:33:46,730 --> 00:33:50,562
You knew I was going to hit you
because you read my mind.
659
00:33:51,401 --> 00:33:53,477
Mom, I'm home.
660
00:33:53,612 --> 00:33:54,940
- Hey, man.
- Hi, honey.
661
00:33:55,072 --> 00:33:56,780
- Hello, Walter.
- Hi, Dad.
662
00:33:57,741 --> 00:33:58,939
I missed you.
663
00:33:59,410 --> 00:34:01,616
Your father has a present for you.
664
00:34:01,912 --> 00:34:05,281
Especially for you, Walter.
665
00:34:06,334 --> 00:34:07,365
Please.
666
00:34:07,502 --> 00:34:08,700
Yes, Gary.
667
00:34:13,925 --> 00:34:15,716
Okay, that's actually for me.
668
00:34:15,844 --> 00:34:18,002
No. It's for Walter.
669
00:34:18,138 --> 00:34:19,513
It's a superhero costume.
670
00:34:19,806 --> 00:34:20,969
From whom?
671
00:34:21,433 --> 00:34:23,924
'Man van Kant', a new superhero.
672
00:34:24,144 --> 00:34:26,351
I become the Man of Lace.
673
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,188
Co-parenting is not easy.
674
00:34:28,315 --> 00:34:32,479
But together we have to get there
for this little guy, okay?
675
00:34:32,695 --> 00:34:34,023
Not nice.
676
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,530
Excuse me?
677
00:34:35,656 --> 00:34:37,898
You, Veronica,
you are unfit to be a mother.
678
00:34:38,034 --> 00:34:41,485
Do you remember when you had that child?
taken to a cockfight?
679
00:34:41,704 --> 00:34:43,448
- The championship battle.
- I am the Man from Lace.
680
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:44,957
He thought it was fantastic.
681
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:47,000
He was covered in blood.
682
00:34:47,127 --> 00:34:49,962
He chose eight winners.
That had never been seen before.
683
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,748
You never built a bond
with Walter.
684
00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:55,673
Let's keep it neat
in front of the boy.
685
00:34:56,637 --> 00:34:59,045
It's bad enough that his mother
likes to suck off rodeo clowns.
686
00:34:59,181 --> 00:35:01,340
- Okay, out.
- Grab your things, get out.
687
00:35:01,475 --> 00:35:02,471
Fine, I'm going already.
688
00:35:02,602 --> 00:35:04,345
- Once is enough.
- Grab your things.
689
00:35:04,479 --> 00:35:06,970
- I'll see you again.
- Indeed.
690
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:09,728
Bye, Dad. Thanks for the gift.
691
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:10,855
Hello, Walter.
692
00:35:10,985 --> 00:35:14,734
Ron, nice to meet you.
You have to go now.
693
00:35:15,323 --> 00:35:16,403
Ron.
694
00:35:17,117 --> 00:35:18,944
You knew it.
695
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:20,904
You saw it coming
because you read my mind.
696
00:35:21,038 --> 00:35:22,034
Now I know for sure.
697
00:35:30,423 --> 00:35:31,585
There you have Lime.
698
00:35:31,716 --> 00:35:35,299
Just look. He is a prince.
699
00:35:35,428 --> 00:35:38,382
He really has something, huh?
700
00:35:38,515 --> 00:35:40,424
I would love to be friends with him.
701
00:35:40,850 --> 00:35:43,009
I don't see it.
702
00:35:43,144 --> 00:35:44,520
He's not that great.
703
00:35:46,523 --> 00:35:47,721
What did you say there?
704
00:35:48,525 --> 00:35:49,723
What?
705
00:35:49,902 --> 00:35:51,313
You just said something.
706
00:35:52,863 --> 00:35:55,235
Oh, me? Nothing, mind you.
707
00:35:55,449 --> 00:35:56,991
You said something.
708
00:35:57,118 --> 00:35:58,446
He said you weren't that great.
709
00:35:58,577 --> 00:35:59,573
Brick.
710
00:35:59,704 --> 00:36:01,531
Did you say that about me?
711
00:36:01,748 --> 00:36:03,206
- He's coming here.
- I know.
712
00:36:03,374 --> 00:36:05,118
I'll tear that man in two.
713
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,286
No, no. Let me go my way.
714
00:36:08,713 --> 00:36:10,706
Jack, look, it came...
715
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,257
The boys admire you so much
that I got a little jealous.
716
00:36:14,386 --> 00:36:15,666
I made a lame comment.
717
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:17,878
Funny.
718
00:36:18,015 --> 00:36:23,175
Aren't you the man who wants his job?
lost to his wife?
719
00:36:25,815 --> 00:36:27,439
Shouldn't you do her makeup?
720
00:36:32,822 --> 00:36:35,360
- Enough, guys.
- Shut up, Freddie.
721
00:36:35,617 --> 00:36:38,452
You just shut up, Jack 'Lame'.
722
00:36:41,957 --> 00:36:45,907
- Listen, big boy.
- Yes?
723
00:36:47,171 --> 00:36:50,706
I bet our ratings
are better than yours.
724
00:36:52,802 --> 00:36:54,960
Sorry, I'm trying to keep it together.
725
00:36:55,096 --> 00:36:57,053
No, don't. Don't.
726
00:36:57,181 --> 00:36:59,886
You're at 2:00
and Jack is in primetime.
727
00:37:00,059 --> 00:37:02,811
Maybe... No. Hey, Freddie.
728
00:37:03,646 --> 00:37:06,185
I'll take the bet.
What is the stake?
729
00:37:06,816 --> 00:37:09,568
If we lose, I'll leave New York.
730
00:37:10,570 --> 00:37:12,480
And I will never present the news again.
731
00:37:12,906 --> 00:37:16,026
And what about Easter and Pentecost
fall in one day
732
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,244
and Mr Snorremans
causes a miracle?
733
00:37:20,790 --> 00:37:25,037
Then you change your name
in Jack Lame. Officially.
734
00:37:25,545 --> 00:37:28,961
Great. Agreed, long one.
735
00:37:29,215 --> 00:37:30,709
Has everyone heard?
736
00:37:30,842 --> 00:37:32,420
- Freddie, did you hear?
- Sure.
737
00:37:33,011 --> 00:37:35,549
- This is going to be as exciting as Pong.
- Okay.
738
00:37:40,811 --> 00:37:43,017
Why did you want that bet?
739
00:37:43,147 --> 00:37:45,602
We're the night shift.
We don't stand a chance.
740
00:37:46,233 --> 00:37:47,644
Okay, folks.
741
00:37:47,776 --> 00:37:49,853
Ladies and gentlemen,
742
00:37:49,987 --> 00:37:55,693
this wouldn't have been possible without it
the visionary behind GNN.
743
00:37:56,244 --> 00:37:58,949
Mr Kench Allenby.
744
00:38:02,042 --> 00:38:03,500
Thank you.
745
00:38:04,628 --> 00:38:06,585
Okay, then.
746
00:38:07,506 --> 00:38:11,420
I'm off track, you know,
completely in the beans.
747
00:38:11,552 --> 00:38:13,509
Do any of us speak Australian?
748
00:38:13,637 --> 00:38:15,179
I thought they talked just like us.
749
00:38:15,389 --> 00:38:18,307
Say it all with me...
750
00:38:20,853 --> 00:38:22,846
We don't quite understand you.
751
00:38:22,980 --> 00:38:25,685
This then? I'm Kench Allenby.
752
00:38:26,025 --> 00:38:27,817
- Yes, very good.
- There he goes. Thank you.
753
00:38:27,944 --> 00:38:31,230
I'm Kench Allenby
and you know my story.
754
00:38:31,364 --> 00:38:32,479
I am a self-made man.
755
00:38:32,949 --> 00:38:37,243
My late father, the great one
Vadge Allenby, gave me $300 million
756
00:38:37,371 --> 00:38:42,531
and I had to struggle really hard
to make it $305 million.
757
00:38:42,668 --> 00:38:44,293
True story.
758
00:38:46,422 --> 00:38:48,747
This is a 24 hour news channel...
759
00:38:48,925 --> 00:38:50,419
This is historic.
760
00:38:50,551 --> 00:38:52,627
Like Columbus discovering America.
761
00:38:52,762 --> 00:38:57,638
The captain on this fantastic trip
is America's best reporter,
762
00:38:57,976 --> 00:38:59,221
Mr. Jack Lime.
763
00:39:00,562 --> 00:39:02,851
Put it on, Jack.
764
00:39:03,398 --> 00:39:05,889
Thank you. And good luck too
for Ron Burgundy.
765
00:39:07,986 --> 00:39:09,445
Are you getting nervous yet, compadre?
766
00:39:10,865 --> 00:39:11,896
Come on.
767
00:39:12,158 --> 00:39:14,446
Did you see how he
jumped over that table? Great.
768
00:39:14,577 --> 00:39:16,071
Silence, please.
769
00:39:17,497 --> 00:39:18,659
Okay.
770
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:20,498
Okay, we're going live. Here he comes.
771
00:39:20,708 --> 00:39:24,243
In five, four, three, two...
772
00:39:25,964 --> 00:39:28,799
Good afternoon and welcome to GNN.
773
00:39:28,925 --> 00:39:32,757
Thanks for watching the start
of a new era for news.
774
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:34,301
I'm Jack Lime,
775
00:39:34,431 --> 00:39:38,725
your guide on this journey we humble
call it 24 hour news.
776
00:39:38,852 --> 00:39:40,810
First of all today: Mount St. Helens.
777
00:39:40,938 --> 00:39:43,939
It's just a whim, a hype.
778
00:39:44,066 --> 00:39:45,181
Let's hope so.
779
00:39:45,651 --> 00:39:46,647
Let's see.
780
00:39:46,778 --> 00:39:51,356
'Global warming,
scientists are sounding the alarm.' Boring.
781
00:39:51,491 --> 00:39:54,243
'China will be possible in ten years
dominate the global economy.”
782
00:39:56,955 --> 00:39:58,236
No.
783
00:39:58,373 --> 00:39:59,369
Anyone else?
784
00:39:59,499 --> 00:40:01,243
What if we just broadcast porn?
785
00:40:01,376 --> 00:40:02,408
Freddie?
786
00:40:02,544 --> 00:40:04,336
No way.
787
00:40:04,463 --> 00:40:05,542
Come on now.
788
00:40:05,673 --> 00:40:07,083
We are brainstorming
789
00:40:07,383 --> 00:40:09,921
about how we get the news
make it less boring
790
00:40:10,052 --> 00:40:12,128
and you act like we
pissed in your milkshake.
791
00:40:12,430 --> 00:40:14,588
The news is supposed to be boring, Ron.
792
00:40:14,724 --> 00:40:16,266
These are serious matters.
793
00:40:16,726 --> 00:40:18,932
You're the stupid one
made a bet.
794
00:40:19,270 --> 00:40:24,396
We don't need the people anyway
provide necessary information?
795
00:40:24,734 --> 00:40:27,142
We can't just tell
what they like to hear?
796
00:40:28,030 --> 00:40:29,690
Wait, wait.
797
00:40:31,283 --> 00:40:32,446
Say that again.
798
00:40:32,826 --> 00:40:38,034
We don't need the people anyway
provide necessary information?
799
00:40:38,582 --> 00:40:40,659
We can't just tell
what they like to hear?
800
00:40:40,918 --> 00:40:42,745
And what do they want to hear, Ron?
801
00:40:43,045 --> 00:40:45,963
That we live in God's very best country.
802
00:40:46,633 --> 00:40:49,040
- That's just how it is.
- He's happy.
803
00:40:49,344 --> 00:40:51,383
We tell stories
about patriotism.
804
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,800
And cute animals. Or diets.
805
00:40:54,933 --> 00:40:57,804
Why blondes have more fun.
806
00:40:58,103 --> 00:40:59,847
Serious investigations
807
00:40:59,980 --> 00:41:02,388
to how much sperm there is
sits on hotel duvets.
808
00:41:02,691 --> 00:41:04,850
And only the best sports moments.
809
00:41:04,985 --> 00:41:08,355
Home runs, slam dunks, touchdowns
and no football.
810
00:41:08,614 --> 00:41:09,777
I like wind.
811
00:41:09,991 --> 00:41:12,067
Brick is right.
People think hurricanes are beautiful.
812
00:41:12,201 --> 00:41:15,487
Tornadoes, earthquakes,
floods. Brick goes right into the middle of it.
813
00:41:15,622 --> 00:41:16,617
Do you want that?
814
00:41:17,499 --> 00:41:18,957
People are going crazy. Me, too.
815
00:41:19,167 --> 00:41:24,921
This is against all journalistic principles.
816
00:41:25,299 --> 00:41:30,008
As a wise man once said:
"And so what?"
817
00:41:30,679 --> 00:41:32,506
We still have ten hours.
818
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:33,885
We only need eight hours.
819
00:42:09,971 --> 00:42:12,296
- Is that candy?
- Don't know.
820
00:42:18,605 --> 00:42:19,601
Yes, it's candy.
821
00:42:20,983 --> 00:42:23,189
- I like you.
- I like you too.
822
00:42:24,111 --> 00:42:25,819
Tell us something about yourself.
823
00:42:26,530 --> 00:42:29,615
I am 19 years old.
My middle name is Courtney.
824
00:42:29,867 --> 00:42:33,319
I always know
how many candies are in a jar,
825
00:42:33,454 --> 00:42:34,829
even if I'm wrong.
826
00:42:35,081 --> 00:42:36,492
And you?
827
00:42:36,874 --> 00:42:38,914
My name is Chani Lastnamé.
828
00:42:39,043 --> 00:42:41,713
I am a real go-getter
and a human people.
829
00:42:42,172 --> 00:42:46,419
I can type 50 words per minute
with only 300 errors.
830
00:42:47,010 --> 00:42:49,003
I have a degree...
831
00:42:49,137 --> 00:42:51,095
To a military
launch a missile installation.
832
00:42:51,223 --> 00:42:52,219
Me, too.
833
00:42:53,475 --> 00:42:56,476
I have here
all telephone messages from last week.
834
00:42:56,604 --> 00:42:57,979
Why did you email it to me?
835
00:42:58,105 --> 00:43:00,098
How could I do them differently?
send to you?
836
00:43:00,524 --> 00:43:02,149
You just give them to me.
837
00:43:03,486 --> 00:43:05,858
You are the dumbest person of all time
838
00:43:05,989 --> 00:43:08,230
and I'm not exaggerating.
839
00:43:08,408 --> 00:43:09,522
Now I'm sad.
840
00:43:09,659 --> 00:43:11,699
It's true, Chani.
841
00:43:11,828 --> 00:43:13,370
You.
842
00:43:13,788 --> 00:43:16,576
- Leave her alone.
- Excuse me? Sir.
843
00:43:17,626 --> 00:43:21,327
Keep your dirty fingertips off her.
844
00:43:21,463 --> 00:43:22,578
Help.
845
00:43:22,715 --> 00:43:23,794
Sir.
846
00:43:23,924 --> 00:43:26,047
- Leave me alone.
- Excuse me?
847
00:43:26,177 --> 00:43:28,846
She is a goddess.
848
00:43:31,641 --> 00:43:32,839
Glen.
849
00:43:33,518 --> 00:43:35,142
My messages.
850
00:43:35,270 --> 00:43:37,227
Stay away from him.
851
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:38,559
Not today.
852
00:43:39,190 --> 00:43:42,061
- She has butterflies in her heart.
- Chani.
853
00:43:42,194 --> 00:43:45,029
I'll see you and I'll give you the bag.
854
00:43:45,155 --> 00:43:46,234
Why?
855
00:43:55,207 --> 00:43:56,702
Are you okay?
856
00:43:57,418 --> 00:43:59,209
You saved my life.
857
00:43:59,754 --> 00:44:01,581
She wanted to put me in a bag.
858
00:44:01,964 --> 00:44:04,372
I didn't ask for these powers.
859
00:44:04,509 --> 00:44:05,920
I got them.
860
00:44:06,219 --> 00:44:10,134
Yesterday there was a bird
after me
861
00:44:10,599 --> 00:44:12,508
and I wish it was you.
862
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,054
Can we go on a date?
863
00:44:15,854 --> 00:44:16,886
Yes.
864
00:44:31,246 --> 00:44:34,531
God, let me make it.
865
00:44:34,874 --> 00:44:39,038
If you help me, I will become a monk.
866
00:44:39,171 --> 00:44:42,088
I'm shaving my head
and become a monk...
867
00:44:43,383 --> 00:44:45,091
What am I saying? I'm never going to do that.
868
00:44:45,344 --> 00:44:46,542
Have you heard it yet?
869
00:44:46,679 --> 00:44:48,755
Evan said
that there was something strange on the teleprompter.
870
00:44:48,973 --> 00:44:50,171
It's 2:00 in the morning.
871
00:44:50,307 --> 00:44:52,430
Freddie is responsible,
not me. Come on.
872
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:56,225
Who changes history,
usually doesn't notice it at first.
873
00:44:57,023 --> 00:45:01,981
Ron and his team wanted the news
just make it a bit more fun.
874
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:07,397
Did they know much that they
change television forever?
875
00:45:07,534 --> 00:45:10,452
Hello, America.
It's 2:00 in the morning.
876
00:45:10,871 --> 00:45:16,245
I'm Ron Burgundy,
and tonight it's about America.
877
00:45:16,502 --> 00:45:18,245
The most beautiful country on earth.
878
00:45:18,420 --> 00:45:20,247
The most beautiful thing in world history.
879
00:45:20,381 --> 00:45:21,412
That's just how it is.
880
00:45:24,010 --> 00:45:26,465
The news goes too often
about everything that's wrong.
881
00:45:26,596 --> 00:45:27,592
Say so, brother.
882
00:45:27,722 --> 00:45:30,557
It's okay tonight
about what's good about America.
883
00:45:31,101 --> 00:45:33,343
Finally someone says
something sensible on TV.
884
00:45:33,478 --> 00:45:35,767
First of all, we always win.
885
00:45:35,981 --> 00:45:38,187
From the Nazis. From the Russians.
886
00:45:38,442 --> 00:45:39,770
What is he doing?
887
00:45:39,902 --> 00:45:41,396
He talks about America.
888
00:45:41,528 --> 00:45:42,691
Do you have a problem with that?
889
00:45:42,821 --> 00:45:45,573
Some experts say
that breast implants are dangerous,
890
00:45:45,699 --> 00:45:47,692
unhealthy and misogynistic,
891
00:45:47,827 --> 00:45:52,453
but as a reporter I say:
'Keep those party balloons coming.'
892
00:45:52,582 --> 00:45:54,325
Damn.
893
00:45:56,544 --> 00:45:57,825
Whammy.
894
00:45:57,962 --> 00:45:59,754
Whammy, whammy, whammy.
895
00:45:59,881 --> 00:46:01,790
Whammy.
896
00:46:07,222 --> 00:46:08,467
Whammy!
897
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:09,761
Back to you, Ron.
898
00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:12,727
The wind is very windy.
899
00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:15,225
Brick, can you hear me?
900
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:16,933
I can't hear you, Ron.
901
00:46:17,233 --> 00:46:20,898
You'll answer,
so I think you hear me.
902
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,060
No.
903
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:25,316
Do you think there is danger?
for the ordinary citizen?
904
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,858
I fear for the animals of New York.
905
00:46:28,370 --> 00:46:32,783
A woman was walking her dog
and it fluttered in the wind.
906
00:46:33,041 --> 00:46:36,493
Are we talking about gusts of wind?
at the speed of a jet plane?
907
00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:39,079
Her dog looked like a balloon.
908
00:46:39,465 --> 00:46:40,710
And now... Switch.
909
00:46:41,175 --> 00:46:44,461
And now our eighth
and final animal story.
910
00:46:44,595 --> 00:46:47,265
The people of North Yulk
have in Montana
911
00:46:47,390 --> 00:46:50,759
the cutest patriotic animal
on God's green planet.
912
00:46:54,397 --> 00:46:55,891
Look at that little guy.
913
00:46:57,025 --> 00:46:59,730
What fun he had.
914
00:47:00,570 --> 00:47:05,067
On behalf of all of us at GNN
this was Ron Burgundy.
915
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:09,494
I don't wish you good night,
just an American night.
916
00:47:12,666 --> 00:47:14,077
That's it.
917
00:47:16,712 --> 00:47:19,879
- I had to keep watching.
- Yes.
918
00:47:20,216 --> 00:47:22,423
You were fantastic, Ron. Whammy.
919
00:47:22,552 --> 00:47:24,295
That felt good.
920
00:47:24,429 --> 00:47:25,592
I was outside.
921
00:47:25,722 --> 00:47:28,011
Sure, Brick. Well done.
922
00:47:28,141 --> 00:47:29,600
Super. Nice work.
923
00:47:29,726 --> 00:47:33,427
What the hell was that?
924
00:47:33,981 --> 00:47:36,768
Calm down, Linda.
We wanted to try something new.
925
00:47:36,900 --> 00:47:39,142
You're changing the whole format
behind my back?
926
00:47:39,278 --> 00:47:40,274
I don't accept that.
927
00:47:40,404 --> 00:47:43,441
You bet, sister.
We rocked it.
928
00:47:43,574 --> 00:47:46,112
And you can't have that, Mom.
929
00:47:46,244 --> 00:47:48,913
Out. You are
summarily dismissed.
930
00:47:49,330 --> 00:47:50,955
If you were a man
I knocked you out.
931
00:47:51,249 --> 00:47:53,871
Real? Go ahead.
932
00:47:54,002 --> 00:47:56,125
Come on then. With your best fist.
933
00:47:56,838 --> 00:47:57,953
I have five brothers,
934
00:47:58,090 --> 00:48:00,166
two of which play football,
so bring it on.
935
00:48:00,300 --> 00:48:01,878
- Do you really want this?
- Yes.
936
00:48:02,052 --> 00:48:03,428
This boy doesn't feel good.
937
00:48:03,554 --> 00:48:04,550
Do it, Ron. Go ahead.
938
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,637
Are you afraid? What's the problem?
939
00:48:06,891 --> 00:48:08,800
Is he a jerk?
Are you a jerk?
940
00:48:12,313 --> 00:48:13,476
I'm not a jerk.
941
00:48:13,606 --> 00:48:15,848
I'll hit you
until the blood drips from your mustache.
942
00:48:17,735 --> 00:48:18,850
Oh...
943
00:48:19,404 --> 00:48:21,064
You're dawdling, Ron.
944
00:48:21,197 --> 00:48:22,526
Not at all.
945
00:48:22,657 --> 00:48:26,240
Just do something guys
have been doing for centuries
946
00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:27,912
and punch that woman.
947
00:48:28,038 --> 00:48:29,236
- Hit her.
- You're procrastinating.
948
00:48:29,373 --> 00:48:30,322
Hit that person.
949
00:48:30,457 --> 00:48:33,375
Here comes the Toledo Express.
Everyone get in.
950
00:48:37,173 --> 00:48:38,548
No.
951
00:48:40,843 --> 00:48:43,002
I didn't do anything. Get off me.
952
00:48:45,598 --> 00:48:48,172
Mommy, your baby is in pain.
953
00:48:48,727 --> 00:48:50,221
Your baby.
954
00:48:51,813 --> 00:48:54,387
What sound are you making there? Jesus.
955
00:48:56,193 --> 00:48:58,232
You sound like a balloon.
956
00:48:58,529 --> 00:48:59,904
Be a man.
957
00:49:00,114 --> 00:49:01,312
Surveillance.
958
00:49:01,448 --> 00:49:03,240
They saw my penis.
959
00:49:03,367 --> 00:49:06,119
Those big boys saw my dick.
960
00:49:06,495 --> 00:49:08,287
Are you saying 'little dick'?
961
00:49:08,414 --> 00:49:10,870
In the locker room
they saw my penis.
962
00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,285
You have it
sent back to primary school.
963
00:49:13,419 --> 00:49:14,582
Get him out of here.
964
00:49:16,214 --> 00:49:18,123
Now get a didgeridoo.
965
00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:19,705
We knew the beginning
would be difficult,
966
00:49:19,843 --> 00:49:22,299
but these figures are even lower
than I thought.
967
00:49:22,429 --> 00:49:24,303
Thank goodness for that 2am peak.
968
00:49:24,431 --> 00:49:26,091
That saved our start.
969
00:49:26,391 --> 00:49:28,633
Peak? What do you mean?
970
00:49:29,103 --> 00:49:30,099
Which peak?
971
00:49:30,312 --> 00:49:32,352
Burgundy. Who is Ron Burgundy?
972
00:49:33,441 --> 00:49:34,472
No, this can't be right.
973
00:49:35,902 --> 00:49:40,480
His team started with 0.2%
and ended with 5.6.
974
00:49:40,615 --> 00:49:43,735
Incredible. Three times as many viewers
as Jack Lime.
975
00:49:43,868 --> 00:49:47,035
How is that possible? Who are those guys?
976
00:49:47,414 --> 00:49:49,905
A regional team from San Diego.
977
00:49:50,333 --> 00:49:51,413
Beauty of mine.
978
00:49:51,668 --> 00:49:53,460
They don't work for us anymore.
979
00:49:55,714 --> 00:49:56,710
I fired them.
980
00:49:57,174 --> 00:50:02,251
Men, of course I need you
to apologize.
981
00:50:02,638 --> 00:50:07,431
I dragged you here and...
it was doomed to failure.
982
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,098
No, don't blame yourself.
983
00:50:10,230 --> 00:50:11,772
It's okay, Ron.
984
00:50:12,023 --> 00:50:13,102
Gin.
985
00:50:14,484 --> 00:50:16,393
Brian, what are you going to do now?
986
00:50:16,528 --> 00:50:17,808
Back to LA
987
00:50:17,946 --> 00:50:19,524
I have some good friends there.
988
00:50:19,656 --> 00:50:22,408
O.J. Simpson. Phil Spector.
Robert Blake.
989
00:50:22,534 --> 00:50:24,194
Sounds like a nice club.
990
00:50:24,328 --> 00:50:25,952
We're going on a woman hunt.
991
00:50:26,121 --> 00:50:27,746
We call ourselves the 'Ladykillers'.
992
00:50:27,873 --> 00:50:30,281
Good name. Put those on your jackets.
993
00:50:30,418 --> 00:50:31,912
That's not a bad idea.
994
00:50:36,132 --> 00:50:37,163
Boys?
995
00:50:39,093 --> 00:50:40,292
Hi.
996
00:50:40,553 --> 00:50:42,345
I have news.
997
00:50:42,514 --> 00:50:45,266
We want the word 'news'
don't hear it right now.
998
00:50:45,434 --> 00:50:46,548
Yes.
999
00:50:46,685 --> 00:50:50,184
You're right. Forget I was here.
1000
00:50:50,731 --> 00:50:53,566
Forget that GNN wants you back.
1001
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:58,488
On prime time
and at a higher salary.
1002
00:50:58,948 --> 00:51:02,068
Don't jerk us off, Freddie.
How about that?
1003
00:51:02,201 --> 00:51:04,443
Yeah, don't brush us off.
1004
00:51:04,579 --> 00:51:06,737
No, I don't like you...
1005
00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:11,168
Your viewing figures were phenomenal.
1006
00:51:11,294 --> 00:51:13,916
The people loved it.
1007
00:51:14,631 --> 00:51:16,540
You are a success.
1008
00:51:16,675 --> 00:51:21,337
Then get it.
You guys are a big, fat hit.
1009
00:51:21,931 --> 00:51:24,338
At Gene Rayburn's bedpan.
1010
00:51:24,767 --> 00:51:27,436
It's complete garbage
and they don't want to miss any of it.
1011
00:51:28,104 --> 00:51:30,939
The news team was famous
in San Diego,
1012
00:51:31,065 --> 00:51:34,150
but that was nothing
compared to New York.
1013
00:51:34,819 --> 00:51:36,942
Their fame was like a rocket.
1014
00:51:37,072 --> 00:51:41,449
A rocket with free drinks
and topless flight attendants.
1015
00:51:41,576 --> 00:51:43,534
That's it from us at GNN.
1016
00:51:43,662 --> 00:51:47,197
Thank God for the events
and thank me for the news.
1017
00:51:47,332 --> 00:51:48,708
This was Jack...
1018
00:51:51,879 --> 00:51:52,958
...Lame.
1019
00:51:54,715 --> 00:51:56,791
RON BURGUNDY
AND THE GNN NEWS CROWD
1020
00:51:56,926 --> 00:51:58,919
Hey, hey, hey.
1021
00:51:59,053 --> 00:52:00,334
More pictures, okay?
1022
00:52:00,471 --> 00:52:02,014
There are already a lot of them.
1023
00:52:02,140 --> 00:52:04,346
You heard it. More pictures.
1024
00:52:04,476 --> 00:52:07,014
May an ordinary man
Would you also like to ask something?
1025
00:52:07,145 --> 00:52:10,514
Father Ron wants half a second
keep his lid closed?
1026
00:52:13,151 --> 00:52:16,936
This goes against everything I believe
I've worked for all my life.
1027
00:52:17,072 --> 00:52:18,270
Honey anyway.
1028
00:52:34,924 --> 00:52:36,170
Viewing figures
1029
00:52:40,555 --> 00:52:42,762
BRIAN FANTANA
STAR REPORTER, GNN
1030
00:52:42,891 --> 00:52:46,723
Someone like me needs underwear
that suits an active life.
1031
00:52:46,854 --> 00:52:49,559
In the better specialty stores
and department stores.
1032
00:52:49,690 --> 00:52:52,360
I'm weatherman Brick Tamland
and I love butter.
1033
00:52:52,485 --> 00:52:56,565
Butter is nutritious and tastes delicious.
1034
00:52:57,156 --> 00:52:58,781
Butter.
1035
00:53:00,618 --> 00:53:03,074
There is something new in the nightlife
of New York.
1036
00:53:03,204 --> 00:53:04,782
Nice, quite innocent
1037
00:53:04,915 --> 00:53:08,200
and just as expensive as a can of soda
in the supermarket.
1038
00:53:08,335 --> 00:53:09,710
Brian Fantana explains
1039
00:53:09,836 --> 00:53:14,214
why everyone matters
now smoking crack.
1040
00:53:14,341 --> 00:53:16,667
I understood
that we have some crack
1041
00:53:16,802 --> 00:53:18,510
to smoke here in the studio.
1042
00:53:18,637 --> 00:53:19,800
Can we get a shot of that?
1043
00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:21,757
What? Did you know about that?
1044
00:53:21,891 --> 00:53:22,922
No.
1045
00:53:23,101 --> 00:53:25,674
You put a piece in your pipe.
1046
00:53:25,812 --> 00:53:28,350
Here comes the expression
'going out of business' comes from?
1047
00:53:28,481 --> 00:53:29,892
I don't care.
1048
00:53:30,316 --> 00:53:33,068
I always like your cooking section.
1049
00:53:36,865 --> 00:53:39,617
You feel it immediately. Nice.
1050
00:53:39,743 --> 00:53:41,285
An immediate euphoric feeling.
1051
00:53:41,412 --> 00:53:45,244
You will be surprised. The effect is very...
1052
00:53:45,374 --> 00:53:47,533
They really like it.
1053
00:53:47,668 --> 00:53:49,495
Naturally. It's crack.
1054
00:53:52,173 --> 00:53:56,088
Now we know you're live on TV
not allowed to smoke crack.
1055
00:54:07,731 --> 00:54:08,846
Hey, guys.
1056
00:54:08,982 --> 00:54:10,975
You know what this beautiful day
would make it even more beautiful?
1057
00:54:11,110 --> 00:54:12,141
What?
1058
00:54:12,319 --> 00:54:14,193
Everyone gets a perm.
1059
00:54:27,294 --> 00:54:29,085
Come in and close the door.
1060
00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:35,800
If this concerns the audience survey,
1061
00:54:35,928 --> 00:54:38,763
I think Brian Fantana
has a strong story.
1062
00:54:38,889 --> 00:54:41,012
It's about airplane parts
1063
00:54:41,142 --> 00:54:46,219
the one from the air
falling on the ground and on people.
1064
00:54:46,355 --> 00:54:48,265
We call it 'Death from above'.
We can...
1065
00:54:48,399 --> 00:54:49,977
You. Come here.
1066
00:54:55,156 --> 00:54:56,900
I've been watching you.
1067
00:54:57,033 --> 00:54:58,314
Oh, yes?
1068
00:54:59,911 --> 00:55:01,988
Very often.
1069
00:55:03,332 --> 00:55:04,909
You do what you want.
1070
00:55:05,042 --> 00:55:07,615
I'm a bit stubborn, I think.
1071
00:55:07,753 --> 00:55:09,497
You don't care about the format.
1072
00:55:09,630 --> 00:55:14,173
You walk around like you're the king.
1073
00:55:14,552 --> 00:55:17,125
I'm a worker bee, nothing more.
1074
00:55:17,764 --> 00:55:19,591
- And you know what?
- What?
1075
00:55:24,604 --> 00:55:26,348
I find that incredibly exciting.
1076
00:55:26,773 --> 00:55:28,481
Are you going to hurt me?
1077
00:55:28,608 --> 00:55:30,019
It's like this, Mr. Burgundy.
1078
00:55:30,152 --> 00:55:32,857
You're going like crazy,
and I want to take it for a ride.
1079
00:55:33,405 --> 00:55:35,113
I'm terrified.
1080
00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:37,233
I want to hear you meow like a cat.
1081
00:55:41,706 --> 00:55:43,414
And bark like a dog.
1082
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:45,415
Bark. Bark.
1083
00:55:46,127 --> 00:55:47,669
Like a puppy.
1084
00:55:53,134 --> 00:55:54,629
Yes, come on. Do it.
1085
00:55:58,432 --> 00:55:59,926
Don't cry.
1086
00:56:01,518 --> 00:56:04,852
It's sexy and scary.
A strange combination.
1087
00:56:05,731 --> 00:56:06,727
Inside.
1088
00:56:07,775 --> 00:56:08,973
Linda.
1089
00:56:09,110 --> 00:56:11,019
Excuse me, Linda.
1090
00:56:11,445 --> 00:56:13,522
Ron, Jack wants to know
1091
00:56:13,656 --> 00:56:16,990
or himself again
Jack Lime may mention.
1092
00:56:17,118 --> 00:56:18,577
He's really struggling with it.
1093
00:56:18,703 --> 00:56:21,241
No, that's not possible. We bet.
1094
00:56:21,498 --> 00:56:22,992
Jesus.
1095
00:56:23,125 --> 00:56:24,667
If you want something different, that's okay.
1096
00:56:25,210 --> 00:56:26,241
Like?
1097
00:56:26,378 --> 00:56:27,457
Art Areola.
1098
00:56:27,588 --> 00:56:29,794
That's even worse. You know that very well.
1099
00:56:29,923 --> 00:56:32,000
Lyle Tit or Steve Anus.
1100
00:56:32,676 --> 00:56:34,005
Steve Anuse.
1101
00:56:34,136 --> 00:56:36,924
- No, you have to say 'Anus'.
- It should be 'Anus'.
1102
00:56:37,056 --> 00:56:38,052
I can't do that.
1103
00:56:38,182 --> 00:56:41,136
Listen carefully.
This isn't over yet, okay?
1104
00:56:42,020 --> 00:56:44,059
I'll see you in the schoolyard.
1105
00:56:47,150 --> 00:56:48,430
Well.
1106
00:56:49,903 --> 00:56:55,776
This was a productive conversation.
1107
00:56:55,909 --> 00:56:57,736
Pick me up at 8pm.
1108
00:56:58,162 --> 00:57:02,456
I don't really understand what's happening here.
1109
00:57:03,459 --> 00:57:04,490
Out.
1110
00:57:14,512 --> 00:57:15,508
Ron.
1111
00:57:15,638 --> 00:57:20,846
You're missing a few
very good Garfield jokes.
1112
00:57:20,977 --> 00:57:22,769
I just got raped by our boss.
1113
00:57:22,896 --> 00:57:23,845
What?
1114
00:57:23,981 --> 00:57:25,605
I don't know what happened.
1115
00:57:25,733 --> 00:57:27,393
It's a bit blurry.
1116
00:57:27,526 --> 00:57:31,109
There were hands, hair, breath and lips.
1117
00:57:31,238 --> 00:57:32,781
Maybe there were others too.
1118
00:57:32,907 --> 00:57:34,187
She wants you.
1119
00:57:34,325 --> 00:57:35,274
Hey, man.
1120
00:57:35,409 --> 00:57:37,616
I can't fight them off
now that we're famous.
1121
00:57:37,745 --> 00:57:41,280
I don't want to brag, but I have
Florence Henderson flats given.
1122
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:44,827
That's nothing to brag about.
That's nasty.
1123
00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:47,796
The mother of The Brady Bunch
had fun with you
1124
00:57:47,923 --> 00:57:51,126
and woke up the next day
with pubic lice.
1125
00:57:51,260 --> 00:57:53,929
A whole one
Brady Bunch family pubic lice.
1126
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:57,055
She shouldn't be such a slut.
1127
00:57:57,182 --> 00:57:58,463
I have a date.
1128
00:57:58,601 --> 00:57:59,881
Does Brick have a date?
1129
00:58:00,019 --> 00:58:01,015
Nice.
1130
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:02,260
What is a date?
1131
00:58:02,396 --> 00:58:04,804
A date is like two people
come together,
1132
00:58:04,941 --> 00:58:07,610
to do something fun,
have a drink, blablabla...
1133
00:58:07,735 --> 00:58:08,898
Taking off their clothes...
1134
00:58:10,572 --> 00:58:12,280
- That's okay.
- It's something fun.
1135
00:58:12,407 --> 00:58:13,735
It's fun. Calm down.
1136
00:58:13,867 --> 00:58:16,702
Don't worry, Brick. We support you.
1137
00:58:17,037 --> 00:58:20,620
First of all, we need to care
for protection.
1138
00:58:24,670 --> 00:58:25,785
Please.
1139
00:58:26,088 --> 00:58:28,959
Brian Fantanas
glorious condom collection.
1140
00:58:29,091 --> 00:58:32,840
I know a good one.
'The guy with the hood'.
1141
00:58:32,970 --> 00:58:34,678
You have style.
1142
00:58:35,890 --> 00:58:37,515
It has extra ridges.
1143
00:58:37,642 --> 00:58:40,727
Like a shield
wears over your private parts.
1144
00:58:40,854 --> 00:58:42,099
It takes two hours to put it on.
1145
00:58:42,230 --> 00:58:44,768
With a hood.
She doesn't see you coming.
1146
00:58:44,900 --> 00:58:46,014
Guard.
1147
00:58:46,151 --> 00:58:47,432
Do you think what I think?
1148
00:58:47,569 --> 00:58:49,313
“Lou Dobins
good times sausage packaging'.
1149
00:58:49,446 --> 00:58:50,442
That's a good one.
1150
00:58:51,448 --> 00:58:54,236
A wanderer who likes
looks at people making out.
1151
00:58:54,368 --> 00:58:57,618
Made of denim, so it looks
looks better after every wash.
1152
00:58:57,747 --> 00:58:59,407
Talk about a good turn.
1153
00:58:59,540 --> 00:59:02,114
Wait, I got it.
1154
00:59:03,044 --> 00:59:04,538
'The stiff mind'.
1155
00:59:04,671 --> 00:59:07,126
The best piece there is.
1156
00:59:07,257 --> 00:59:10,957
Four of my seven illegitimate children
use it too.
1157
00:59:11,136 --> 00:59:14,053
But Brian, that's what it's all about
with condoms?
1158
00:59:14,181 --> 00:59:15,924
That you don't get women pregnant?
1159
00:59:16,183 --> 00:59:19,018
You know this expression: 'Nietes.'
1160
00:59:23,607 --> 00:59:24,687
Thanks, Ron,
1161
00:59:24,817 --> 00:59:28,815
and Happy St. Patrick's Day
to all our Indian friends.
1162
00:59:28,946 --> 00:59:30,144
On the big map...
1163
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:33,231
Where is my card?
1164
00:59:33,952 --> 00:59:35,779
He's completely green.
1165
00:59:35,995 --> 00:59:38,119
There is a map.
Just look at the monitor.
1166
00:59:38,248 --> 00:59:40,573
Okay.
1167
00:59:40,709 --> 00:59:42,084
Where are my legs?
1168
00:59:42,210 --> 00:59:43,954
- Where are my legs?
- There are.
1169
00:59:44,087 --> 00:59:45,546
I have no legs, Ron.
1170
00:59:45,839 --> 00:59:48,046
I don't know how I can still stand.
1171
00:59:50,135 --> 00:59:51,678
Brick, there's nothing wrong with your legs.
1172
00:59:51,804 --> 00:59:54,046
The color of your pants is the same as...
1173
00:59:54,432 --> 00:59:56,056
Ron, I have no legs anymore.
1174
00:59:56,225 --> 00:59:57,257
...the screen behind you.
1175
00:59:57,435 --> 00:59:59,262
93?
1176
00:59:59,395 --> 01:00:01,851
93?
1177
01:00:01,981 --> 01:00:03,061
Be quiet.
1178
01:00:07,237 --> 01:00:10,024
After I graduated
from Columbia,
1179
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:13,823
I got a job
at ABC News in London.
1180
01:00:13,952 --> 01:00:15,067
London.
1181
01:00:15,371 --> 01:00:17,826
That's one of my favorite cities
around the world.
1182
01:00:17,957 --> 01:00:19,451
It's in my top 90.
1183
01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:23,913
Between Omaha
and Jacksonville, Florida.
1184
01:00:24,380 --> 01:00:27,583
What are your favorite spots there?
1185
01:00:27,717 --> 01:00:29,508
I like everything.
1186
01:00:30,804 --> 01:00:33,010
Big Ben. The Tower of London.
1187
01:00:34,182 --> 01:00:36,590
Naughty Hill. The Wailing Wall.
1188
01:00:36,726 --> 01:00:39,644
Walking along the Thames with an ice cream.
1189
01:00:39,771 --> 01:00:44,232
You pronounce it 'Temz'.
You shouldn't pronounce the 'T-H'.
1190
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,103
Piccadilly.
1191
01:00:46,237 --> 01:00:47,517
Madison Square Garden.
1192
01:00:47,655 --> 01:00:49,694
The hometown of Sherlock Holmes.
1193
01:00:49,824 --> 01:00:51,235
Are you nervous?
1194
01:00:51,492 --> 01:00:52,488
Absolute.
1195
01:00:52,785 --> 01:00:54,778
Did I scare you?
with my behavior?
1196
01:00:55,204 --> 01:00:56,319
Well, a little bit.
1197
01:00:56,873 --> 01:00:58,949
It's not
that you are not attractive...
1198
01:00:59,083 --> 01:01:01,076
I'm just a bit old fashioned.
1199
01:01:01,378 --> 01:01:04,129
And I am a modern woman.
1200
01:01:04,548 --> 01:01:08,546
And I tell you:
If I want something, I go for it.
1201
01:01:08,969 --> 01:01:10,594
Can I ask something?
1202
01:01:11,764 --> 01:01:14,171
Is your foot between my thighs?
1203
01:01:14,391 --> 01:01:15,387
No.
1204
01:01:15,601 --> 01:01:17,475
Sorry.
1205
01:01:18,396 --> 01:01:19,806
It was my hand.
1206
01:01:20,022 --> 01:01:21,018
So...
1207
01:01:21,232 --> 01:01:22,430
We're going to do it, right?
1208
01:01:22,775 --> 01:01:26,227
For sure.
1209
01:01:26,529 --> 01:01:31,986
I feel a bit uncomfortable. I'm going
have sex with a black woman.
1210
01:01:32,118 --> 01:01:33,910
I'm sorry.
1211
01:01:34,371 --> 01:01:37,076
I'd rather not act like that.
1212
01:01:37,541 --> 01:01:41,491
When I'm nervous, I sometimes
no more control over my voice.
1213
01:01:41,921 --> 01:01:45,420
It doesn't matter, because I have you tonight.
1214
01:01:45,883 --> 01:01:49,003
Let's leave
and have interracial sex.
1215
01:01:50,888 --> 01:01:52,086
Sorry.
1216
01:02:38,063 --> 01:02:40,436
This machine
is the most beautiful of all my dates.
1217
01:02:41,108 --> 01:02:43,397
It has five stars.
1218
01:02:50,285 --> 01:02:51,945
Can I ask something personal?
1219
01:02:52,287 --> 01:02:53,995
I don't know what that is, but okay.
1220
01:02:54,205 --> 01:02:55,913
Have you ever kissed?
1221
01:02:56,208 --> 01:02:58,781
Counting lunch boxes
and sleeping people too?
1222
01:02:58,919 --> 01:03:00,164
Naturally.
1223
01:03:00,295 --> 01:03:01,706
Then yes.
1224
01:03:01,839 --> 01:03:04,508
I kissed Scooby-Doo and Roy.
1225
01:03:05,884 --> 01:03:07,842
I've only kissed in my dreams.
1226
01:03:08,179 --> 01:03:13,220
With a tiny dragon
and a woman with burning hair.
1227
01:03:13,559 --> 01:03:18,186
I don't have much kissing experience
but i do know...
1228
01:03:18,439 --> 01:03:20,100
That you should always use your teeth.
1229
01:03:20,859 --> 01:03:23,979
I want that kissing thing
I think I'll try.
1230
01:04:01,026 --> 01:04:02,520
Hello, Ms. Jackson.
1231
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:04,601
I didn't want to scare you.
1232
01:04:04,905 --> 01:04:07,396
Mr Allenby, I didn't expect you.
1233
01:04:07,867 --> 01:04:09,943
I know. Me neither.
1234
01:04:10,995 --> 01:04:12,537
But I heard about that story
1235
01:04:12,664 --> 01:04:15,534
that Burgundy and Fantana are investigating.
1236
01:04:15,875 --> 01:04:17,833
A few planes
of my society
1237
01:04:17,961 --> 01:04:19,918
his last
lost some parts.
1238
01:04:20,338 --> 01:04:22,130
Is that a problem? Yes.
1239
01:04:22,257 --> 01:04:25,128
Is anything being done about it? Surely so.
1240
01:04:25,469 --> 01:04:28,885
But when that story comes on TV,
Koala shares collapse.
1241
01:04:29,473 --> 01:04:32,308
We can tell the story
don't just withdraw.
1242
01:04:32,601 --> 01:04:35,721
The news is ours.
We can do anything we want.
1243
01:04:36,230 --> 01:04:37,890
That's one of the advantages.
1244
01:04:38,316 --> 01:04:41,899
It's called synergy. The one company
works together with the other.
1245
01:04:45,490 --> 01:04:46,901
On synergy.
1246
01:04:55,209 --> 01:04:57,664
You seem a little quiet.
1247
01:04:58,128 --> 01:05:01,747
I just want to say that I think it's fine
to eat with your family.
1248
01:05:02,508 --> 01:05:04,133
They will like you very much.
1249
01:05:05,177 --> 01:05:07,336
How wonderful.
1250
01:05:09,265 --> 01:05:10,261
And...
1251
01:05:10,975 --> 01:05:12,553
How long have you been dating?
1252
01:05:12,977 --> 01:05:14,009
Mother.
1253
01:05:15,188 --> 01:05:17,347
Doesn't matter. It's a logical question.
1254
01:05:18,984 --> 01:05:23,231
Our love is young, but it burns bright.
1255
01:05:24,239 --> 01:05:28,107
And it's hot and sweaty and smelly.
1256
01:05:28,244 --> 01:05:30,651
There's a stink about that love.
1257
01:05:31,038 --> 01:05:32,367
What are you talking about?
1258
01:05:32,582 --> 01:05:34,907
We shake the bed every night.
1259
01:05:35,042 --> 01:05:37,830
Am I right? Not then?
1260
01:05:37,962 --> 01:05:40,632
Such conversations
we don't have this at the table.
1261
01:05:40,757 --> 01:05:44,671
I'm constantly freaking out, brother.
1262
01:05:45,512 --> 01:05:46,840
High-five.
1263
01:05:47,347 --> 01:05:48,510
Put that hand down.
1264
01:05:48,682 --> 01:05:49,678
Ron, what are you doing?
1265
01:05:49,808 --> 01:05:52,643
I'm doing something with the white elephant
in this room.
1266
01:05:52,770 --> 01:05:55,771
I break the racial divide
by adapting.
1267
01:05:55,898 --> 01:05:58,140
- That's all.
- You come across as a jerk.
1268
01:05:58,401 --> 01:05:59,943
I think it's going fine.
1269
01:06:00,069 --> 01:06:02,856
I hear you're having a lot of success
at the transmitter.
1270
01:06:03,114 --> 01:06:04,822
I'm only doing my best.
1271
01:06:05,158 --> 01:06:07,993
I walk around looking dope.
1272
01:06:08,620 --> 01:06:09,734
And the first thing I did
1273
01:06:09,871 --> 01:06:13,157
was after that ugly pale fart
from a boss. I said:
1274
01:06:13,291 --> 01:06:16,209
“Hey, boss. I'm talking to you.
1275
01:06:16,461 --> 01:06:18,335
'You have to dock. Where's my money?
1276
01:06:18,463 --> 01:06:20,255
"Give me my money."
1277
01:06:20,424 --> 01:06:23,460
In case you haven't noticed,
we don't talk like that.
1278
01:06:23,594 --> 01:06:25,421
Okay then.
1279
01:06:25,763 --> 01:06:27,471
Look at that big man.
1280
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:29,846
He thinks, 'Shit. Look at that white one.
1281
01:06:29,976 --> 01:06:35,480
'Sit at my table, eat all my food
and drinks my drink. What?'
1282
01:06:35,690 --> 01:06:37,232
Good heavens.
1283
01:06:37,442 --> 01:06:40,396
'I'll send the pit bull after him.
Cujo, come here.'
1284
01:06:40,528 --> 01:06:43,483
Linda, I don't understand
what to do with him.
1285
01:06:43,657 --> 01:06:47,108
You know what I'm saying
big black mother of Linda.
1286
01:06:47,244 --> 01:06:48,822
We throw it into the mix.
1287
01:06:48,954 --> 01:06:51,445
- And make it nice and hot.
- My goodness.
1288
01:06:51,582 --> 01:06:54,287
- That's my mom, man.
- Don't be like that.
1289
01:06:54,919 --> 01:06:57,208
Which of you crack smoking bitches
1290
01:06:57,338 --> 01:06:58,334
Could you please give me the puree?
1291
01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:01,506
The dinner went excellently.
1292
01:07:01,634 --> 01:07:02,713
Are you disturbed?
1293
01:07:03,094 --> 01:07:05,585
No. I had a wonderful evening.
1294
01:07:06,306 --> 01:07:08,049
My father attacked you.
1295
01:07:08,183 --> 01:07:12,596
Otherwise you're the one
who invited me.
1296
01:07:12,729 --> 01:07:14,521
Sorry.
1297
01:07:14,648 --> 01:07:16,190
- No, I'm sorry.
- I...
1298
01:07:16,608 --> 01:07:20,143
I'm stressed because Allenby
1299
01:07:20,279 --> 01:07:23,363
doesn't want you to continue
with that story for the audience survey.
1300
01:07:23,949 --> 01:07:24,945
'Death from above'.
1301
01:07:25,076 --> 01:07:26,700
That's a very good story.
1302
01:07:26,828 --> 01:07:28,452
Listen, Ron.
1303
01:07:29,622 --> 01:07:31,579
Have you ever heard of synergy?
1304
01:07:37,631 --> 01:07:41,794
Your mother thought we should have some time
had to spend together.
1305
01:07:42,761 --> 01:07:46,344
She thinks I have no connection with you.
1306
01:07:47,766 --> 01:07:49,925
What bullshit, huh?
1307
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:53,180
Dad.
1308
01:07:53,564 --> 01:07:56,814
Sometimes I hear noises at night
and then I'm scared.
1309
01:07:56,943 --> 01:07:59,695
I think there's a ghost in my closet.
1310
01:08:01,448 --> 01:08:03,108
Listen, son.
1311
01:08:03,241 --> 01:08:07,191
Ghosts don't exist. Period.
1312
01:08:07,329 --> 01:08:09,072
Which scary things really exist?
1313
01:08:09,206 --> 01:08:12,242
Do you really want to know?
what should you be afraid of?
1314
01:08:12,543 --> 01:08:14,120
Yes.
1315
01:08:14,628 --> 01:08:15,659
Voodoo.
1316
01:08:15,796 --> 01:08:17,872
- Voodoo?
- Yes, voodoo.
1317
01:08:18,007 --> 01:08:19,881
That drives you crazy.
1318
01:08:20,134 --> 01:08:22,755
And it's 100% real.
1319
01:08:23,054 --> 01:08:26,055
Promise you'll never go to Haiti.
1320
01:08:26,474 --> 01:08:27,933
I promise.
1321
01:08:28,142 --> 01:08:30,219
This was nice.
I enjoyed being with you.
1322
01:08:30,437 --> 01:08:31,432
Me too, Dad.
1323
01:08:31,688 --> 01:08:33,894
Hey, do you want to go to Haiti sometime?
1324
01:08:34,149 --> 01:08:35,976
- No.
- Good.
1325
01:08:36,234 --> 01:08:38,026
What did you tell him?
1326
01:08:38,195 --> 01:08:39,689
Nothing.
1327
01:08:39,947 --> 01:08:42,070
He hasn't slept in four days.
1328
01:08:42,324 --> 01:08:45,242
When we go somewhere
he asks if we are going to Haiti.
1329
01:08:45,369 --> 01:08:46,448
What does that mean?
1330
01:08:46,620 --> 01:08:51,448
I'm so tired of it
that you protect him from voodoo.
1331
01:08:51,667 --> 01:08:54,455
You need a healthy bond
build with him.
1332
01:08:54,587 --> 01:08:56,627
I don't want to be funny
1333
01:08:56,756 --> 01:08:59,294
but he is not a dwarf
with an intellectual disability?
1334
01:08:59,592 --> 01:09:02,547
He is seven years old.
1335
01:09:02,804 --> 01:09:04,298
- Okay.
- Listen carefully.
1336
01:09:04,514 --> 01:09:09,426
It's tomorrow at 8am
physics project. He wants you to come.
1337
01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:12,183
I'm coming. Okay?
1338
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:13,560
What are you going to do?
for the audience survey?
1339
01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:16,064
I don't talk about my work to you, Ron.
1340
01:09:16,193 --> 01:09:18,815
Be at school tomorrow at 8am.
1341
01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:19,942
Fine.
1342
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,031
It will be the interview
of the decade.
1343
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,567
Veronica Corningstone
talk to Yasser Arafat.
1344
01:09:25,954 --> 01:09:26,950
Yasser who?
1345
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,618
Head of the PLO and the key
to peace in the Middle East.
1346
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:33,291
Ms Corningstone is of course
Ron Burgundy's ex-wife,
1347
01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:36,126
so that must hurt Ronny.
1348
01:09:36,298 --> 01:09:37,876
Don't mind him, Ron.
1349
01:09:38,008 --> 01:09:40,879
Thanks for watching GNN.
This was Jack Lame.
1350
01:09:42,263 --> 01:09:43,923
He still says it.
1351
01:09:44,056 --> 01:09:47,508
We are being crushed.
1352
01:09:47,977 --> 01:09:50,184
I really thought we had a chance.
1353
01:09:50,396 --> 01:09:52,685
And my
'Death from above' story then?
1354
01:09:54,025 --> 01:09:56,647
Just ask Ron.
1355
01:09:57,612 --> 01:09:59,023
We are withdrawing that story.
1356
01:09:59,197 --> 01:10:01,985
What? Why?
I worked hard on it.
1357
01:10:02,117 --> 01:10:05,451
It was my decision, okay?
Matter of synergy.
1358
01:10:05,579 --> 01:10:06,610
What does that mean?
1359
01:10:06,747 --> 01:10:08,289
Take it easy, Ron.
1360
01:10:08,415 --> 01:10:09,910
We have come further
than everyone thought.
1361
01:10:10,042 --> 01:10:11,038
We'll get them next time.
1362
01:10:11,168 --> 01:10:14,169
Take it easy yourself. I'm not here
to come second.
1363
01:10:14,338 --> 01:10:15,881
Champ just means...
1364
01:10:16,007 --> 01:10:19,257
I know what he means, Brian.
1365
01:10:19,385 --> 01:10:22,137
I'm not surprised
that you don't care.
1366
01:10:22,263 --> 01:10:24,801
Let's be honest:
I get the ratings.
1367
01:10:25,642 --> 01:10:27,967
I wonder
what you clowns actually do.
1368
01:10:28,770 --> 01:10:31,641
Chani likes clowns.
But not scary ones.
1369
01:10:31,815 --> 01:10:32,846
Shut up, Brick.
1370
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,357
Shut up for once.
1371
01:10:36,195 --> 01:10:39,315
Ron yells at me.
1372
01:10:39,448 --> 01:10:40,646
You bet I'll scream.
1373
01:10:44,745 --> 01:10:46,572
You can't yell at Brick.
1374
01:10:47,081 --> 01:10:48,540
Do you still smoke crack?
1375
01:10:48,958 --> 01:10:50,287
No.
1376
01:10:50,794 --> 01:10:52,870
Not after that one time.
1377
01:10:53,421 --> 01:10:56,625
That's a lie.
I did it six more times.
1378
01:10:56,842 --> 01:10:58,122
Now Brick is upset.
1379
01:10:59,845 --> 01:11:02,217
Those ratings are driving you crazy, Ron.
1380
01:11:02,347 --> 01:11:03,462
You know what?
1381
01:11:04,141 --> 01:11:06,348
We are a news team.
That's a bond for life.
1382
01:11:06,477 --> 01:11:08,268
But I don't like
how you have become.
1383
01:11:08,396 --> 01:11:11,147
We were happy when you found us.
1384
01:11:11,274 --> 01:11:13,313
I photographed kitties.
1385
01:11:13,443 --> 01:11:16,609
Champ served bats
and Brick was dead.
1386
01:11:16,738 --> 01:11:18,398
We took a chance and followed you.
1387
01:11:18,531 --> 01:11:20,904
But now I realize it all
revolved around you
1388
01:11:21,034 --> 01:11:23,359
and for Veronica
to be defeated anyway.
1389
01:11:23,495 --> 01:11:26,531
It wasn't about the news.
Not about our team.
1390
01:11:26,665 --> 01:11:28,076
And certainly not about your son.
1391
01:11:28,250 --> 01:11:29,246
Yes.
1392
01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:31,790
Excuse me, Brian.
1393
01:11:32,504 --> 01:11:38,210
My back hurts from those 15 years
that I carried you along.
1394
01:11:39,178 --> 01:11:40,507
You know, Burgundy?
1395
01:11:40,972 --> 01:11:43,926
Your mouth writes checks
where your body doesn't...
1396
01:11:44,058 --> 01:11:46,181
Nothing... Nothing is possible.
1397
01:11:52,609 --> 01:11:55,314
Fine, go ahead. I don't need you.
1398
01:11:55,988 --> 01:11:58,146
I'll do the news alone.
1399
01:12:02,995 --> 01:12:05,830
Tonight I will talk to Yasser Arafat...
1400
01:12:05,998 --> 01:12:07,540
- Terrible.
- ...the mysterious leader of the PLO.
1401
01:12:08,668 --> 01:12:10,744
- Another 20 minutes, Ron.
- Okay.
1402
01:12:11,504 --> 01:12:12,500
Are you ready?
1403
01:12:13,131 --> 01:12:14,590
What is that?
1404
01:12:15,008 --> 01:12:16,039
Nothing.
1405
01:12:16,176 --> 01:12:19,592
A car chase
via satellite in Milwaukee.
1406
01:12:20,764 --> 01:12:22,139
You know what?
1407
01:12:22,599 --> 01:12:25,007
Give me that live footage
for the broadcast.
1408
01:12:25,143 --> 01:12:27,599
That's not news, Ron.
1409
01:12:27,813 --> 01:12:29,687
Give me that live footage.
1410
01:12:29,815 --> 01:12:31,226
And don't argue again.
1411
01:12:31,358 --> 01:12:32,354
Bill.
1412
01:12:32,485 --> 01:12:34,810
- For the modern viewer...
- Here we go.
1413
01:12:34,946 --> 01:12:37,437
...is a car chase
sliced cake...
1414
01:12:37,573 --> 01:12:40,859
- Three, two...
- ...but in 1980 it was unheard of.
1415
01:12:40,994 --> 01:12:45,039
Good evening, this is Ron Burgundy,
live from New York.
1416
01:12:45,165 --> 01:12:48,664
We just received news
from the center of the country.
1417
01:12:48,794 --> 01:12:52,376
There is a raging one
car chase takes place...
1418
01:12:52,506 --> 01:12:54,914
Keep that connection with 'news' in view.
1419
01:12:55,050 --> 01:12:56,046
...at speeds of 160 km per hour.
1420
01:12:56,218 --> 01:13:00,050
For the first time in history
we will follow this live,
1421
01:13:00,181 --> 01:13:03,680
until a huge accident
whether a mass shooting occurs.
1422
01:13:03,809 --> 01:13:04,758
Richard.
1423
01:13:04,894 --> 01:13:07,848
Hurry up. There is
a car chase on the news.
1424
01:13:09,065 --> 01:13:11,022
When is daddy coming?
1425
01:13:11,151 --> 01:13:12,349
He'll come.
1426
01:13:12,861 --> 01:13:13,940
Are you upset?
1427
01:13:14,070 --> 01:13:19,278
Shall we do that thing again?
where we talk about our feelings?
1428
01:13:19,451 --> 01:13:21,444
- Please don't.
- Okay.
1429
01:13:21,620 --> 01:13:25,488
This is the core of what is happening right now
going on in our country.
1430
01:13:25,791 --> 01:13:27,036
Freddie, what is this?
1431
01:13:27,168 --> 01:13:29,160
Why do we send
a car chase?
1432
01:13:29,295 --> 01:13:30,754
Burgundy. He insisted.
1433
01:13:30,963 --> 01:13:32,671
Don't you see what that jerk is doing?
1434
01:13:32,798 --> 01:13:34,376
We had no story,
so he makes one.
1435
01:13:34,509 --> 01:13:35,919
That's not possible.
1436
01:13:36,260 --> 01:13:38,087
Tell Ron to speculate
about the driver.
1437
01:13:38,263 --> 01:13:41,133
Speculate about the driver.
1438
01:13:41,474 --> 01:13:45,223
We think the driver
may be under the influence of drugs.
1439
01:13:45,353 --> 01:13:47,845
He is around two meters tall.
1440
01:13:47,981 --> 01:13:50,472
But very slim. Just over 70 kilos.
1441
01:13:50,692 --> 01:13:52,851
Maybe he likes
one or two people taken hostage.
1442
01:13:52,987 --> 01:13:55,026
We don't know that. He may have...
1443
01:13:55,155 --> 01:13:57,943
The phones are ringing off the hook.
About the chase.
1444
01:13:58,075 --> 01:13:59,451
I've never experienced this before.
1445
01:13:59,785 --> 01:14:02,952
Mr. Arafat, there is a chance
1446
01:14:03,081 --> 01:14:05,453
on peace with Israel?
1447
01:14:05,583 --> 01:14:07,790
Peace is what my heart beats for.
I would like...
1448
01:14:07,961 --> 01:14:08,957
What was... Sorry.
1449
01:14:09,629 --> 01:14:11,123
What happened to...
1450
01:14:11,256 --> 01:14:13,047
We've switched
to another story.
1451
01:14:13,175 --> 01:14:15,048
A wild car chase.
1452
01:14:15,177 --> 01:14:17,134
Who shows a car chase?
1453
01:14:17,387 --> 01:14:21,136
I'm doing the most important interview here
from my career
1454
01:14:21,266 --> 01:14:22,761
and then they send out a chase?
1455
01:14:22,893 --> 01:14:24,518
I'd like to see that.
1456
01:14:24,645 --> 01:14:25,843
You gotta shut up.
1457
01:14:26,022 --> 01:14:27,267
This is extremely exciting.
1458
01:14:27,398 --> 01:14:30,019
He just crashed into a car.
1459
01:14:30,151 --> 01:14:31,314
He just crashed. Did you see that?
1460
01:14:31,444 --> 01:14:32,440
He crashed.
1461
01:14:33,613 --> 01:14:35,024
- He crashed.
- Collided.
1462
01:14:35,156 --> 01:14:37,113
Since when is the news so fun?
1463
01:14:38,076 --> 01:14:39,985
He goes crazy.
1464
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:43,037
That's a good thing,
because it got a bit boring...
1465
01:14:46,543 --> 01:14:48,832
Hey, you did really well.
1466
01:14:49,004 --> 01:14:50,831
Thanks, Gary.
1467
01:14:51,090 --> 01:14:52,501
I don't think daddy is coming anymore.
1468
01:14:52,633 --> 01:14:54,460
Sorry, honey, but we have to go.
1469
01:14:56,095 --> 01:14:58,218
Stop reading my mind.
1470
01:14:58,890 --> 01:15:00,088
Okay.
1471
01:15:04,312 --> 01:15:06,221
This worries me.
1472
01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:11,233
- Did you do that with your mind?
- No.
1473
01:15:11,361 --> 01:15:12,476
Liar.
1474
01:15:12,738 --> 01:15:16,736
We just heard that the police
arrested the suspect.
1475
01:15:17,284 --> 01:15:21,911
It is an old man of 80 years,
1476
01:15:22,039 --> 01:15:23,948
- who was just confused.
- Unbelievable.
1477
01:15:24,166 --> 01:15:25,365
This was Ron Burgundy.
1478
01:15:25,835 --> 01:15:29,999
I don't wish you good night,
just an American night.
1479
01:15:31,841 --> 01:15:33,549
And we're off the air.
1480
01:15:33,885 --> 01:15:34,881
Yes.
1481
01:15:35,428 --> 01:15:36,424
Great.
1482
01:15:36,555 --> 01:15:37,669
Hurrah.
1483
01:15:37,973 --> 01:15:39,882
Unbelievable. You did it, Ron.
1484
01:15:40,058 --> 01:15:42,300
Dear help. Thank you, Freddie.
1485
01:15:43,437 --> 01:15:45,015
I don't deserve this.
1486
01:15:45,230 --> 01:15:47,188
We have it
done with the whole team.
1487
01:15:47,775 --> 01:15:50,729
GNN DEFEATS CORNINGSTONE
AND THE PUBLIC BROADCAST!
1488
01:15:50,861 --> 01:15:53,103
RON BURGUNDY BREAKS UP
VIEWING RATINGS RECORD!
1489
01:15:56,117 --> 01:15:57,695
Ladies and gentlemen,
1490
01:15:58,161 --> 01:16:02,574
we all know
which put GNN at the top.
1491
01:16:03,208 --> 01:16:06,743
We have
the best presenter in the world.
1492
01:16:06,878 --> 01:16:08,373
May he reign long.
1493
01:16:08,672 --> 01:16:09,668
Mr Ron Burgundy.
1494
01:16:10,549 --> 01:16:12,791
Yes, Ron.
1495
01:16:20,977 --> 01:16:22,601
Put it on, Ronny.
1496
01:16:46,587 --> 01:16:47,750
We oil it.
1497
01:16:47,880 --> 01:16:50,502
Ron Burgundy can get the shit.
1498
01:16:51,884 --> 01:16:53,842
We did it,
my naughty little zebra.
1499
01:16:56,347 --> 01:16:57,379
You are a miracle.
1500
01:16:59,726 --> 01:17:01,968
Ron, you should see yourself.
1501
01:17:18,412 --> 01:17:20,204
In the myth of Icarus
1502
01:17:20,498 --> 01:17:24,496
flew Icarus, filled with foolish pride,
too high
1503
01:17:24,627 --> 01:17:26,038
and the sun melted his wings.
1504
01:17:27,714 --> 01:17:31,582
Burgundy's fame was greater
than he ever expected.
1505
01:17:32,260 --> 01:17:34,300
And his fall was dizzying.
1506
01:17:42,688 --> 01:17:44,147
Oh, God, Ronny.
1507
01:17:44,565 --> 01:17:45,644
Ron.
1508
01:17:45,983 --> 01:17:47,691
- Open that gate.
- Call an ambulance.
1509
01:17:47,819 --> 01:17:50,061
Don't you dare die.
1510
01:17:51,072 --> 01:17:53,694
Don't you dare die.
1511
01:17:55,702 --> 01:17:57,280
Great class, Ron Burgundy.
1512
01:17:57,412 --> 01:17:59,239
Call an ambulance.
1513
01:18:10,968 --> 01:18:12,593
Damn it, Milton, what is it?
1514
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:14,179
Well, Ron...
1515
01:18:16,224 --> 01:18:18,631
Both the optic nerves
1516
01:18:18,768 --> 01:18:21,438
have been cut off from the cornea.
1517
01:18:22,063 --> 01:18:24,103
- What?
- I can't say it any other way...
1518
01:18:24,566 --> 01:18:25,562
You are blind.
1519
01:18:25,692 --> 01:18:27,981
I'm a newsreader.
1520
01:18:28,111 --> 01:18:31,730
I read the news from the teleprompter.
That's what I do.
1521
01:18:32,241 --> 01:18:33,521
What should I live on then?
1522
01:18:33,742 --> 01:18:36,412
I am not a careers advisor,
but you can still do quite a lot.
1523
01:18:36,829 --> 01:18:38,786
Become an oracle or fortune teller.
1524
01:18:38,998 --> 01:18:40,540
There must be something
1525
01:18:40,666 --> 01:18:43,870
in this ultra-modern room
what can help me.
1526
01:18:44,003 --> 01:18:45,747
- Calm down now.
- There must be something here.
1527
01:18:45,880 --> 01:18:46,876
Calm.
1528
01:18:47,674 --> 01:18:49,501
Zombies.
1529
01:18:51,886 --> 01:18:54,591
If I get a hold of me,
I will kill you.
1530
01:18:55,682 --> 01:18:57,224
The world of the blind.
1531
01:18:57,351 --> 01:19:01,395
Ron Burgundy, who had achieved fame
in a visual medium,
1532
01:19:01,522 --> 01:19:04,807
was forever in darkness.
1533
01:19:05,109 --> 01:19:07,814
TWO MONTHS LATER
1534
01:19:23,503 --> 01:19:24,499
Who's there?
1535
01:19:27,382 --> 01:19:29,209
It's us.
1536
01:19:29,343 --> 01:19:32,593
The gentlemen must be hungry
after their long journey.
1537
01:19:32,721 --> 01:19:36,340
I hope you like baguette
with liverwurst.
1538
01:19:36,684 --> 01:19:38,724
Straight from the oven.
1539
01:19:39,061 --> 01:19:40,224
Please.
1540
01:19:40,772 --> 01:19:43,014
They all miss you very much, Ron.
1541
01:19:43,900 --> 01:19:46,438
Jack Lime is recording your program.
1542
01:19:46,986 --> 01:19:49,026
He's quite nice.
1543
01:19:50,490 --> 01:19:52,282
He now calls himself Jack Lamé.
1544
01:19:52,409 --> 01:19:54,152
That's not right.
1545
01:19:54,286 --> 01:19:55,911
It's still Jack Lame.
1546
01:19:56,371 --> 01:19:57,320
Brick.
1547
01:19:57,456 --> 01:19:58,487
Brick.
1548
01:19:58,832 --> 01:20:00,872
These are checkers and kit. Do not eat.
1549
01:20:02,086 --> 01:20:03,746
Linda hasn't called again.
1550
01:20:03,879 --> 01:20:05,078
Linda is very busy.
1551
01:20:05,590 --> 01:20:07,878
Can I have your recipe?
1552
01:20:08,050 --> 01:20:09,628
What do you do like this all day?
1553
01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:11,504
You live so remote here.
1554
01:20:11,638 --> 01:20:13,761
Every day starts the same way.
1555
01:20:14,224 --> 01:20:16,300
I wake up screaming
1556
01:20:16,434 --> 01:20:18,261
because of the darkness
and think I'm dead.
1557
01:20:18,395 --> 01:20:19,426
Every day?
1558
01:20:19,563 --> 01:20:21,187
Yes. Every day.
1559
01:20:21,398 --> 01:20:24,482
And then I start
to my great adventure.
1560
01:20:24,735 --> 01:20:26,359
Preparing breakfast.
1561
01:20:26,612 --> 01:20:29,103
I've already eaten everything
from nails to coasters.
1562
01:20:29,323 --> 01:20:31,861
I bit down hard once
on a marble ashtray,
1563
01:20:31,992 --> 01:20:33,819
because I thought it was a waffle.
1564
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:38,414
I was really craving a waffle.
Broken all my teeth.
1565
01:20:38,541 --> 01:20:40,866
You didn't notice
that the ashtray was not warm?
1566
01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:43,374
No, I can't, because I'm blind.
1567
01:20:43,713 --> 01:20:47,462
I'm not blind 23 or 22 hours a day,
1568
01:20:47,592 --> 01:20:50,510
I'm blind all the damn time.
1569
01:20:50,637 --> 01:20:53,804
Any idea what it's like
to drink half a bottle of ketchup,
1570
01:20:53,932 --> 01:20:57,681
because you think it's a
Châteauneuf-du-Pape from 1946?
1571
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:00,516
I even decanted it.
1572
01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:03,857
Half a bottle...
1573
01:21:04,152 --> 01:21:05,646
That's nine or ten big gulps.
1574
01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:07,356
You didn't taste it then
that it was ketchup?
1575
01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:08,817
Did I not speak clearly?
1576
01:21:08,948 --> 01:21:11,902
I'm blind.
1577
01:21:12,035 --> 01:21:13,778
You're having a hard time, Ron.
1578
01:21:14,037 --> 01:21:15,697
Do you know what the worst humiliation is?
1579
01:21:16,498 --> 01:21:17,957
I can't even masturbate.
1580
01:21:18,083 --> 01:21:21,084
- What do you mean?
- I was busy for 20 minutes once
1581
01:21:21,253 --> 01:21:25,915
rubbing my shin.
I thought, 'Why don't I feel anything?
1582
01:21:26,050 --> 01:21:27,378
'When will it be good?'
1583
01:21:27,510 --> 01:21:29,549
You rubbed your leg
and thought it was your penis?
1584
01:21:29,679 --> 01:21:31,718
- You think I'm stupid, don't you?
- No.
1585
01:21:31,848 --> 01:21:34,220
That idiot in his weird lighthouse
1586
01:21:34,350 --> 01:21:35,548
in no man's land.
1587
01:21:35,685 --> 01:21:38,010
You have yourself for that one
'weird lighthouse' chosen.
1588
01:21:38,146 --> 01:21:39,344
Do you know why I live here?
1589
01:21:39,689 --> 01:21:43,473
I'll say it slowly and clearly.
1590
01:21:44,319 --> 01:21:46,111
I am
1591
01:21:46,238 --> 01:21:48,859
blind.
1592
01:21:49,908 --> 01:21:51,367
We just had to get on.
1593
01:21:51,493 --> 01:21:52,904
Go ahead, yes.
1594
01:21:53,370 --> 01:21:54,948
Get over it.
1595
01:21:55,456 --> 01:21:57,912
Despite my total isolation
1596
01:21:58,042 --> 01:22:01,126
has your visitors
made it even worse.
1597
01:22:08,845 --> 01:22:10,220
Hello, Ron.
1598
01:22:12,516 --> 01:22:13,511
What?
1599
01:22:14,476 --> 01:22:15,555
No, don't leave.
1600
01:22:15,978 --> 01:22:20,058
Guard. I'm all alone.
Come back.
1601
01:22:25,071 --> 01:22:27,562
Guard. Come back.
1602
01:22:28,533 --> 01:22:30,241
Come back.
1603
01:22:33,496 --> 01:22:34,990
I'm all alone.
1604
01:22:35,915 --> 01:22:39,664
Why do you have me?
done this to, God?
1605
01:22:40,504 --> 01:22:44,122
Couldn't you heal a sick child?
or create a new animal?
1606
01:22:44,466 --> 01:22:48,167
But no, you absolutely had to
Blinding Ron Burgundy.
1607
01:22:49,513 --> 01:22:50,889
Never thought
1608
01:22:51,015 --> 01:22:54,514
that I am the great Ron Burgundy
would look so full of self-pity.
1609
01:22:54,644 --> 01:22:57,349
Who's there? What is that sound?
1610
01:22:57,730 --> 01:22:58,726
Take my hand.
1611
01:22:59,482 --> 01:23:00,727
I can't see that.
1612
01:23:00,858 --> 01:23:02,021
Extend your hand, Ron.
1613
01:23:02,569 --> 01:23:04,811
You have to learn to help yourself.
1614
01:23:05,697 --> 01:23:07,488
Okay, that... That's him.
1615
01:23:07,616 --> 01:23:08,861
To get up. There he goes.
1616
01:23:11,578 --> 01:23:12,989
Cher, is that you?
1617
01:23:13,121 --> 01:23:14,699
Don't you recognize me by my voice?
1618
01:23:15,165 --> 01:23:18,250
Every channel is imitating you now, Ron.
1619
01:23:18,377 --> 01:23:23,004
All stories are about animals,
car chases and strip clubs.
1620
01:23:23,341 --> 01:23:25,713
The genie is out of the bottle
1621
01:23:26,260 --> 01:23:28,419
and old Ron Burgundy
popped the cork.
1622
01:23:28,638 --> 01:23:31,129
- That's why I'm leaving WBC News.
- What?
1623
01:23:31,307 --> 01:23:33,514
They don't do real news anymore.
1624
01:23:33,643 --> 01:23:34,888
It's all about the ratings.
1625
01:23:35,270 --> 01:23:36,550
Veronica.
1626
01:23:37,147 --> 01:23:38,392
Why are you here?
1627
01:23:38,523 --> 01:23:40,231
For our son.
1628
01:23:40,567 --> 01:23:41,943
Walter needs you.
1629
01:23:42,069 --> 01:23:45,901
I want you to be responsible
takes for him and yourself.
1630
01:23:46,031 --> 01:23:47,858
Do you realize you're talking to a man?
1631
01:23:47,992 --> 01:23:51,776
who tried his teeth this morning
to clean with a lobster?
1632
01:23:52,038 --> 01:23:53,152
What?
1633
01:23:54,374 --> 01:23:56,200
You immediately feel...
1634
01:23:56,334 --> 01:23:59,288
I just want to say
that it won't be a piece of cake.
1635
01:23:59,712 --> 01:24:02,001
Then we have to
get started right away.
1636
01:24:02,632 --> 01:24:03,712
Drink your tea.
1637
01:24:08,055 --> 01:24:11,554
- I'll get a sponge.
- No, stay there.
1638
01:24:11,767 --> 01:24:13,676
I cleaned it up in no time.
1639
01:24:20,651 --> 01:24:22,443
Think about the contours.
1640
01:24:22,570 --> 01:24:23,566
Contours.
1641
01:24:23,696 --> 01:24:25,689
- Green eyes.
- Green eyes.
1642
01:24:25,865 --> 01:24:27,739
You have to now
use your other senses.
1643
01:24:28,118 --> 01:24:29,316
I can't.
1644
01:24:38,712 --> 01:24:39,661
Again.
1645
01:24:39,797 --> 01:24:41,836
- Did you throw it?
- Yes.
1646
01:24:56,856 --> 01:24:59,430
It sure is a lot of scratching, huh?
1647
01:24:59,568 --> 01:25:02,273
No, it's beautiful.
1648
01:25:03,822 --> 01:25:05,447
Beautiful.
1649
01:25:20,214 --> 01:25:21,839
What about Gary?
1650
01:25:21,966 --> 01:25:23,591
We've been broken up for two weeks.
1651
01:25:23,843 --> 01:25:26,761
He was so stable. I was really annoyed.
1652
01:25:29,641 --> 01:25:30,886
You did it.
1653
01:25:34,438 --> 01:25:40,192
'Sometimes what a shark has to do
what he has to do.'
1654
01:25:41,737 --> 01:25:44,193
The latter makes no sense.
1655
01:25:44,323 --> 01:25:46,233
But the rest of the book
was a lot of fun.
1656
01:25:46,367 --> 01:25:49,119
Promise you'll never leave again.
1657
01:25:49,245 --> 01:25:53,457
If I say I'll be there, I'll be there.
1658
01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:55,790
I'm happy about that.
1659
01:25:56,837 --> 01:25:59,838
Me too, kid.
1660
01:25:59,965 --> 01:26:04,177
Read that piece again where he
order a salami pizza with seaweed.
1661
01:26:16,190 --> 01:26:19,560
I found beautiful mussels
at the river mouth.
1662
01:26:19,694 --> 01:26:21,687
We can prepare that tonight
1663
01:26:21,821 --> 01:26:25,902
with a butter sauce and some wine.
1664
01:26:27,661 --> 01:26:28,657
Veronica.
1665
01:26:28,996 --> 01:26:30,241
Yes, Ron?
1666
01:26:31,165 --> 01:26:32,623
Can you explain this?
1667
01:26:35,669 --> 01:26:38,789
Dr Brangley here.
I have already left many comments.
1668
01:26:38,923 --> 01:26:40,666
My messages are apparently being deleted.
1669
01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:44,880
There is a treatment
which may help you see again.
1670
01:26:45,346 --> 01:26:47,884
Call me back if you are interested.
1671
01:26:48,266 --> 01:26:51,516
Well? Did you delete those messages?
1672
01:26:51,728 --> 01:26:54,398
Yes. I can explain.
1673
01:26:54,523 --> 01:26:55,518
How could you?
1674
01:26:55,691 --> 01:26:58,442
We have never been happier.
I thought...
1675
01:26:58,569 --> 01:27:00,229
You thought if I could see again,
1676
01:27:00,362 --> 01:27:02,604
I don't love you anymore
and Walter would keep?
1677
01:27:02,781 --> 01:27:03,777
Yes.
1678
01:27:04,366 --> 01:27:08,411
Damn it, man.
You lied to me.
1679
01:27:09,413 --> 01:27:11,121
I gave you everything.
1680
01:27:11,290 --> 01:27:14,457
My heart, my smile,
1681
01:27:15,545 --> 01:27:16,743
my seed.
1682
01:27:17,464 --> 01:27:18,662
And you lied.
1683
01:27:18,840 --> 01:27:20,121
- Dad.
- Darling.
1684
01:27:20,258 --> 01:27:21,717
No, daddy.
1685
01:27:22,010 --> 01:27:23,670
Don't leave, Dad.
1686
01:27:24,346 --> 01:27:25,674
- Dad.
-Walter, don't...
1687
01:27:26,181 --> 01:27:27,973
We have to let him go.
1688
01:27:28,350 --> 01:27:30,010
He wants to be free.
1689
01:27:32,062 --> 01:27:34,269
He'll come back. He promised that.
1690
01:27:35,900 --> 01:27:39,316
Would you call me a taxi?
I'm blind.
1691
01:27:39,445 --> 01:27:40,441
Naturally.
1692
01:27:41,239 --> 01:27:44,074
The operation was successful.
1693
01:27:44,868 --> 01:27:47,822
But we won't know for sure until now
when the bandage comes off.
1694
01:27:55,045 --> 01:27:56,623
And?
1695
01:27:56,755 --> 01:27:58,629
Yes.
1696
01:27:58,757 --> 01:28:00,252
I can see again.
1697
01:28:04,221 --> 01:28:07,721
Oh my god. Ron Burgundy, folks.
1698
01:28:07,934 --> 01:28:09,511
You are my inspiration.
1699
01:28:09,644 --> 01:28:11,352
Thank you.
1700
01:28:12,689 --> 01:28:13,685
Welcome back.
1701
01:28:13,982 --> 01:28:15,476
Thanks, Bri-man.
1702
01:28:16,067 --> 01:28:17,312
Good luck in Vietnam.
1703
01:28:18,111 --> 01:28:19,392
Brick.
1704
01:28:19,613 --> 01:28:20,811
Brick and I are having a baby.
1705
01:28:20,948 --> 01:28:22,110
We call him Tortilla Jackson.
1706
01:28:22,533 --> 01:28:24,241
- Nice.
- I am now 22 months pregnant.
1707
01:28:24,368 --> 01:28:25,399
Come here, jerk.
1708
01:28:25,536 --> 01:28:26,698
One drink, Ron. Come on.
1709
01:28:27,872 --> 01:28:31,454
Hold that drink.
I need some fresh air.
1710
01:28:43,471 --> 01:28:44,966
How are you?
1711
01:28:47,142 --> 01:28:49,550
Fine. I...
1712
01:28:50,729 --> 01:28:52,188
There are a lot of people there.
1713
01:28:52,564 --> 01:28:56,479
I'm sorry I didn't call
or have visited.
1714
01:28:56,735 --> 01:28:58,479
You don't have to explain it.
1715
01:28:58,904 --> 01:29:00,149
But now you're back.
1716
01:29:00,281 --> 01:29:01,277
Hello, Ron.
1717
01:29:02,784 --> 01:29:03,898
What are you doing here?
1718
01:29:04,243 --> 01:29:07,198
I had to tell you something important.
1719
01:29:09,249 --> 01:29:10,577
You must be Linda Jackson.
1720
01:29:10,750 --> 01:29:12,209
You must be Veronica.
1721
01:29:12,335 --> 01:29:13,711
Indeed. Nice to meet you.
1722
01:29:13,962 --> 01:29:15,587
This is a moving moment.
1723
01:29:15,714 --> 01:29:19,961
Please don't take it the wrong way,
but if you touch Ron one more time,
1724
01:29:20,094 --> 01:29:22,051
I'll break into your car
1725
01:29:22,179 --> 01:29:24,255
and I burn
your face with a curling iron.
1726
01:29:25,224 --> 01:29:26,766
You can put on a big mouth,
1727
01:29:26,892 --> 01:29:29,430
but this cat has claws, bitch.
1728
01:29:29,729 --> 01:29:31,188
Stay away from me, Linda,
1729
01:29:31,314 --> 01:29:34,434
because this 'White tornado'
blows everything away.
1730
01:29:34,567 --> 01:29:36,061
I was a little down,
1731
01:29:36,194 --> 01:29:38,317
but this works wonders
for my mood.
1732
01:29:38,446 --> 01:29:40,569
I'll leave you alone for a moment.
1733
01:29:40,699 --> 01:29:43,616
It was me
a great pleasure, Miss Corningstone.
1734
01:29:43,869 --> 01:29:44,865
It was unique.
1735
01:29:44,995 --> 01:29:46,703
Would you like to kiss each other?
1736
01:29:46,830 --> 01:29:48,657
Ron, make an assessment.
1737
01:29:49,041 --> 01:29:50,369
That certainly means 'no'.
1738
01:29:51,168 --> 01:29:52,828
Hello, Linda.
1739
01:29:53,420 --> 01:29:55,497
I know why you don't call me back.
1740
01:29:55,673 --> 01:29:59,801
But I didn't call for myself.
Walter has a piano concert later
1741
01:29:59,927 --> 01:30:02,679
at the Tishman School on 65th Street.
1742
01:30:02,805 --> 01:30:05,261
He composed something for you.
1743
01:30:06,226 --> 01:30:07,257
Walter.
1744
01:30:07,394 --> 01:30:10,229
It would mean a lot to him
when you came.
1745
01:30:10,355 --> 01:30:13,558
I just got a call from the control room.
Oh, I'm a fan of yours.
1746
01:30:14,526 --> 01:30:17,812
The actress Sheila Blackledge,
who plays the mother in the hit series
1747
01:30:17,946 --> 01:30:19,939
Four's a Family, Five's a Crowd,
1748
01:30:20,115 --> 01:30:22,523
just discovered
that her husband is cheating on her
1749
01:30:22,660 --> 01:30:25,495
and she cut off his penis
while he was sleeping.
1750
01:30:25,663 --> 01:30:26,659
Good heavens.
1751
01:30:26,831 --> 01:30:30,366
The police came
and she fled in her white Bronco
1752
01:30:30,543 --> 01:30:33,995
and now there is
a high-speed chase in progress.
1753
01:30:34,130 --> 01:30:36,253
We have the exclusive live footage,
1754
01:30:36,383 --> 01:30:38,257
but we have to get in the air right away.
1755
01:30:38,426 --> 01:30:41,593
This could be your comeback.
1756
01:30:41,972 --> 01:30:44,178
- Veronica, I...
- No, Ron.
1757
01:30:45,184 --> 01:30:47,011
This results in extremely high viewing figures.
1758
01:30:47,603 --> 01:30:50,557
-Walter understands.
-Walter understands.
1759
01:30:51,190 --> 01:30:52,221
Come.
1760
01:30:52,984 --> 01:30:54,526
Come on. Setting priorities.
1761
01:30:54,735 --> 01:30:56,527
- Veronica.
- Come on.
1762
01:30:58,698 --> 01:31:00,406
- Do you hear me?
- Yes.
1763
01:31:00,533 --> 01:31:01,731
Loud and clear.
1764
01:31:01,868 --> 01:31:03,243
You're back and you have this story.
1765
01:31:03,370 --> 01:31:05,243
- This is going to be huge.
- Correct.
1766
01:31:05,372 --> 01:31:07,032
Nice to be back?
1767
01:31:07,165 --> 01:31:08,494
I feel good.
1768
01:31:08,625 --> 01:31:11,116
Look at him.
A beacon in the night.
1769
01:31:11,879 --> 01:31:13,124
My golden goose.
1770
01:31:13,255 --> 01:31:14,334
Okay, baby.
1771
01:31:14,465 --> 01:31:16,007
You'll get all the details from me.
1772
01:31:16,217 --> 01:31:17,497
Five, four,
1773
01:31:17,635 --> 01:31:18,880
three, two...
1774
01:31:20,471 --> 01:31:21,467
Good evening, America.
1775
01:31:21,597 --> 01:31:25,726
After my absence
it's nice to be back with you again.
1776
01:31:25,852 --> 01:31:27,394
This is Ron Burgundy.
1777
01:31:27,520 --> 01:31:30,806
We have a story about an affair,
1778
01:31:30,940 --> 01:31:35,353
a severed penis,
a TV star and a chase.
1779
01:31:35,487 --> 01:31:36,767
Show the images.
1780
01:31:38,991 --> 01:31:40,401
The only problem is...
1781
01:31:41,952 --> 01:31:43,779
- What's he doing?
- Are you okay, Ron?
1782
01:31:44,538 --> 01:31:45,949
...that it's not news.
- What?
1783
01:31:46,081 --> 01:31:47,196
Turn off the teleprompter.
1784
01:31:47,333 --> 01:31:48,329
Ron, this is Kench.
1785
01:31:48,459 --> 01:31:49,704
What are you doing to me, buddy?
1786
01:31:49,835 --> 01:31:53,501
Read the text
or I'll make mincemeat of you. Don't.
1787
01:31:53,756 --> 01:31:55,749
Don't. Let Kench be in your head.
1788
01:31:56,759 --> 01:31:59,215
- Damn.
- He took out his earpiece.
1789
01:31:59,429 --> 01:32:02,134
Dear people, I often have
presented the news,
1790
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:06,803
but I only now realize
1791
01:32:07,938 --> 01:32:10,227
what the real news is.
1792
01:32:10,691 --> 01:32:12,980
The real news informs people
1793
01:32:13,277 --> 01:32:17,524
about the mighty of the earth,
so that they do not abuse their power.
1794
01:32:17,907 --> 01:32:20,065
But what if a powerful man
owns the news?
1795
01:32:20,201 --> 01:32:22,407
Son of a bitch.
1796
01:32:22,537 --> 01:32:24,364
He blows the whole thing up.
1797
01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:27,535
I have quite a personal one
development.
1798
01:32:27,917 --> 01:32:31,702
I had sex with a proud,
intelligent black woman.
1799
01:32:33,298 --> 01:32:34,792
I have become blind.
1800
01:32:35,467 --> 01:32:38,041
And I've smoked quite a bit of crack.
1801
01:32:38,512 --> 01:32:42,925
But the most important thing was
the emptiness I felt
1802
01:32:43,559 --> 01:32:47,260
when I was the three best friends
that you can have, suffocated.
1803
01:32:47,772 --> 01:32:48,934
Hello, Ron.
1804
01:32:49,065 --> 01:32:50,725
So, if it's okay with you,
1805
01:32:50,858 --> 01:32:53,017
I'm going to my child's concert now
1806
01:32:53,153 --> 01:32:56,937
and I tell the woman I love
that I still love her.
1807
01:32:58,283 --> 01:33:00,988
Good evening, America,
and never forget:
1808
01:33:02,329 --> 01:33:03,492
you deserve the truth.
1809
01:33:07,751 --> 01:33:09,329
Good. He's been there.
1810
01:33:09,461 --> 01:33:11,668
Linda, get that blonde chick.
Anyone.
1811
01:33:11,797 --> 01:33:13,340
He's coming back.
1812
01:33:13,466 --> 01:33:15,126
And then something else.
1813
01:33:15,259 --> 01:33:18,177
Koala Airlines is
a crappy airline.
1814
01:33:18,471 --> 01:33:21,472
Son of a bitch.
1815
01:33:25,937 --> 01:33:26,933
Guys, I'm sorry.
1816
01:33:27,355 --> 01:33:30,392
I didn't know anymore for a moment
who was Ron Burgundy.
1817
01:33:30,776 --> 01:33:33,314
Brick, I'm sorry
that I yelled at you.
1818
01:33:34,238 --> 01:33:35,234
Brian...
1819
01:33:35,447 --> 01:33:37,736
I had
don't have to throw your story away.
1820
01:33:37,867 --> 01:33:39,147
It was stoneware.
1821
01:33:39,618 --> 01:33:42,869
Champ, I'm sorry for all those
1822
01:33:42,997 --> 01:33:46,781
nightly massages from you
have rejected.
1823
01:33:48,336 --> 01:33:49,961
Ron, you're a good guy.
1824
01:33:50,088 --> 01:33:53,374
But you became the victim
of your ego and your pride.
1825
01:33:53,925 --> 01:33:57,377
Before others can forgive you,
you must first learn to forgive yourself.
1826
01:34:00,807 --> 01:34:01,803
What are you saying, Brick?
1827
01:34:02,351 --> 01:34:04,011
I'm wearing two pairs of pants.
1828
01:34:06,355 --> 01:34:07,553
Thank you.
1829
01:34:07,690 --> 01:34:09,481
We are a team.
1830
01:34:10,902 --> 01:34:11,897
We need you.
1831
01:34:12,028 --> 01:34:13,570
Let him go, Champ.
1832
01:34:18,868 --> 01:34:20,066
Ron.
1833
01:34:20,829 --> 01:34:23,616
Long live Ron Burgundy.
1834
01:34:32,174 --> 01:34:34,926
I'm Brick Tamland for GNN News.
1835
01:34:35,678 --> 01:34:39,343
Hansje Pansje beetle,
he once climbed a fence.
1836
01:34:39,682 --> 01:34:43,383
The rain fell,
Hansje washed it away.
1837
01:34:43,519 --> 01:34:45,179
You, you bastard.
1838
01:34:45,647 --> 01:34:47,141
What do you think?
1839
01:34:47,273 --> 01:34:48,472
After everything I've done for you,
1840
01:34:48,608 --> 01:34:50,980
is this my salary? I'll crush you.
1841
01:34:53,864 --> 01:34:55,323
And again, Mr. Burgundy,
1842
01:34:55,449 --> 01:34:58,070
shows you that you have balls.
1843
01:34:58,202 --> 01:34:59,779
Who cares?
1844
01:35:00,579 --> 01:35:02,371
One more to unlearn.
1845
01:35:09,005 --> 01:35:10,001
Thank you.
1846
01:35:10,131 --> 01:35:12,124
Is daddy coming too?
1847
01:35:12,258 --> 01:35:14,050
No, honey, daddy has to work.
1848
01:35:14,177 --> 01:35:16,335
He'll come. I'm sure.
1849
01:35:16,805 --> 01:35:17,801
Taxi.
1850
01:35:18,557 --> 01:35:20,549
Taxi.
1851
01:35:20,684 --> 01:35:21,680
Damn.
1852
01:35:22,019 --> 01:35:25,222
It's difficult for a proud Mexican
to get a taxi here.
1853
01:35:26,106 --> 01:35:27,387
I have to go see my son.
1854
01:35:27,858 --> 01:35:32,105
And now, with its own composition
for his father,
1855
01:35:32,238 --> 01:35:35,025
here is seven-year-old Walter Burgundy.
1856
01:35:37,368 --> 01:35:40,038
Reserved for Ron Burgundy
HE PROMISED HE WOULD COME
1857
01:35:43,792 --> 01:35:46,199
I promised my son.
1858
01:35:49,923 --> 01:35:50,919
What is this?
1859
01:35:51,466 --> 01:35:53,044
Hello, Ron.
1860
01:35:53,635 --> 01:35:54,715
Are you jogging?
1861
01:35:54,970 --> 01:35:56,299
Jack Lime.
1862
01:35:57,514 --> 01:35:58,760
Where is everyone going?
1863
01:35:58,891 --> 01:36:01,845
I don't have time to talk.
I have to go somewhere.
1864
01:36:02,269 --> 01:36:04,096
Funny. I don't have to go anywhere
1865
01:36:04,814 --> 01:36:06,937
because you are my career
you ruined it.
1866
01:36:07,608 --> 01:36:11,227
Do you know how I felt about it?
to call myself Jack Lame?
1867
01:36:12,364 --> 01:36:14,190
It was hell.
1868
01:36:16,576 --> 01:36:19,696
I'm sorry, but I do
the news no more.
1869
01:36:19,830 --> 01:36:21,028
I got out.
1870
01:36:21,164 --> 01:36:23,453
That's not possible.
1871
01:36:23,584 --> 01:36:26,371
You have to let me go.
1872
01:36:26,712 --> 01:36:28,539
Don't worry, four against one.
1873
01:36:29,298 --> 01:36:30,674
It just happened.
1874
01:36:31,509 --> 01:36:33,133
Maybe not.
1875
01:36:36,681 --> 01:36:38,839
My news team. Thank goodness.
1876
01:36:40,769 --> 01:36:45,230
There is no day
that we do not support Ron Burgundy.
1877
01:36:45,482 --> 01:36:47,391
No problem.
When I'm done with those idiots
1878
01:36:47,526 --> 01:36:48,937
I wipe my soles on the sidewalk.
1879
01:36:49,111 --> 01:36:50,771
Oh, yeah, Jack Lime?
1880
01:36:51,196 --> 01:36:52,655
When I'm done with you,
1881
01:36:52,781 --> 01:36:55,451
my mother is coming to pick me up
to take me home.
1882
01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:56,739
Guard.
1883
01:37:00,206 --> 01:37:03,326
Too bad you don't get it for free
have health insurance,
1884
01:37:03,459 --> 01:37:08,585
because the BBC World Service
is going to beat the hell out of you.
1885
01:37:09,966 --> 01:37:12,042
God save the Queen
1886
01:37:12,177 --> 01:37:15,546
and God kills Ron Burgundy.
1887
01:37:17,182 --> 01:37:18,807
No. Not now.
1888
01:37:18,934 --> 01:37:20,097
Withdraw.
1889
01:37:24,231 --> 01:37:25,311
If you're going to fight,
1890
01:37:25,441 --> 01:37:28,276
want Wesley Jackson
and the MTV News team participate.
1891
01:37:28,444 --> 01:37:29,938
What is MTV?
1892
01:37:30,696 --> 01:37:32,025
I think it's a venereal disease.
1893
01:37:32,323 --> 01:37:34,115
Today's most popular video?
1894
01:37:34,242 --> 01:37:37,326
A new band:
Burgundy's Open Chest Wound.
1895
01:37:43,627 --> 01:37:45,454
It's not a fight without Jill Janson.
1896
01:37:45,587 --> 01:37:47,913
And Wendy Van Peele
from Entertainment News.
1897
01:37:48,048 --> 01:37:50,207
Entertainment News is an abomination.
1898
01:37:50,551 --> 01:37:53,089
What brand are you wearing today?
Oh, your own blood.
1899
01:37:53,429 --> 01:37:55,089
Stars celebrating a birthday today... None.
1900
01:37:55,264 --> 01:37:56,545
Stars who died today...
1901
01:37:56,682 --> 01:37:58,307
All you losers.
1902
01:38:00,395 --> 01:38:01,640
Hey.
1903
01:38:02,522 --> 01:38:05,558
There will be no fight
without Scott Riles
1904
01:38:05,817 --> 01:38:08,273
and the incredibly polite team
from Canadian News.
1905
01:38:09,988 --> 01:38:12,562
And what about the French-language Quebec News?
1906
01:38:12,741 --> 01:38:14,200
The true voice of Canada.
1907
01:38:14,326 --> 01:38:15,322
Now break it up.
1908
01:38:15,452 --> 01:38:17,943
Stop it. They have no news.
1909
01:38:18,163 --> 01:38:19,444
Nothing ever happens in Canada.
1910
01:38:19,623 --> 01:38:21,118
We wipe the floor with you.
1911
01:38:21,250 --> 01:38:22,413
We give you cotton.
1912
01:38:22,543 --> 01:38:23,539
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
1913
01:38:23,669 --> 01:38:27,003
We'll gouge your eyes out
and kick in your skull.
1914
01:38:27,131 --> 01:38:28,460
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
1915
01:38:28,591 --> 01:38:30,085
You have some nice ginger ale.
1916
01:38:34,055 --> 01:38:36,511
Jeff Bullington, ESPN, Sports Only.
1917
01:38:36,641 --> 01:38:38,883
Today's match is me.
1918
01:38:39,019 --> 01:38:40,928
I'll pull your spine out of your dead body.
1919
01:38:41,188 --> 01:38:43,062
Shit, there's a lot of news.
1920
01:38:43,232 --> 01:38:45,474
That's right. The market is becoming saturated.
1921
01:38:45,693 --> 01:38:49,311
Hey, The History Network wants it too
participate. We are news too.
1922
01:38:49,447 --> 01:38:51,985
But then news
which will be told much later.
1923
01:38:53,618 --> 01:38:56,903
The ghost is there
by Stonewall Jackson?
1924
01:38:57,121 --> 01:38:59,909
Yes. And the mighty Minotaur.
1925
01:39:01,084 --> 01:39:02,329
I don't know.
1926
01:39:02,502 --> 01:39:05,420
The Minotaur is not historical.
He is mythological.
1927
01:39:07,132 --> 01:39:09,041
Listen, everyone.
1928
01:39:12,888 --> 01:39:17,597
Now that we're on the battlefield,
we can't go back anymore.
1929
01:39:19,186 --> 01:39:20,645
People are going to die.
1930
01:39:21,022 --> 01:39:22,220
This makes me so horny.
1931
01:39:22,398 --> 01:39:24,058
Some will be maimed.
1932
01:39:24,275 --> 01:39:28,403
And there will be some
long-lasting friendships are created.
1933
01:39:29,447 --> 01:39:33,694
As usual, you're not allowed
touching someone's hair or face.
1934
01:39:34,077 --> 01:39:36,236
Come on, we all know that.
1935
01:39:36,371 --> 01:39:37,367
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
1936
01:39:37,581 --> 01:39:39,289
When El Trousias,
1937
01:39:39,541 --> 01:39:42,661
the cloud maiden,
blows the battle trumpet,
1938
01:39:43,295 --> 01:39:45,288
the fight begins.
1939
01:39:45,548 --> 01:39:47,837
I am El Trousias.
1940
01:39:49,844 --> 01:39:51,967
Hear my siren song.
1941
01:39:54,349 --> 01:39:57,184
El Trousias... Is a nice thing.
1942
01:40:03,400 --> 01:40:04,811
Now you can start.
1943
01:40:06,320 --> 01:40:08,229
Brick, what the hell is that?
1944
01:40:08,947 --> 01:40:10,228
A gun from the future.
1945
01:40:10,699 --> 01:40:12,407
Not fair.
He has a gun from the future.
1946
01:40:12,868 --> 01:40:14,612
How do you get it?
1947
01:40:29,928 --> 01:40:33,677
In the name of the king,
the Queen and St. George.
1948
01:40:36,727 --> 01:40:37,758
Huzzah.
1949
01:41:10,471 --> 01:41:11,882
You didn't see that coming.
1950
01:41:13,349 --> 01:41:14,891
Twenty degrees to the right.
1951
01:41:32,619 --> 01:41:33,615
Sorry.
1952
01:41:34,455 --> 01:41:36,163
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
1953
01:41:36,916 --> 01:41:38,873
Activate the powers of Sex Panther.
1954
01:42:03,152 --> 01:42:05,310
In the name of Margaret Thatcher...
1955
01:42:05,446 --> 01:42:07,355
- No.
...I sentence you to death.
1956
01:42:07,490 --> 01:42:09,032
Please, no.
1957
01:42:12,829 --> 01:42:14,572
In Dan Issel's name.
1958
01:42:16,958 --> 01:42:17,954
Gary.
1959
01:42:18,168 --> 01:42:19,413
Yes, Ron.
1960
01:42:20,837 --> 01:42:22,746
We didn't like each other that much.
1961
01:42:22,923 --> 01:42:24,547
But with my mind
1962
01:42:24,675 --> 01:42:27,344
I could see you in the future
was going to do something good.
1963
01:42:29,263 --> 01:42:30,638
- Go.
- I knew it.
1964
01:42:30,764 --> 01:42:32,223
Go to your son's concert.
1965
01:42:32,391 --> 01:42:33,969
I knew you had mental powers.
1966
01:42:34,101 --> 01:42:36,177
And make this the best day of your life.
1967
01:42:36,395 --> 01:42:38,518
Almighty, Almighty,
let them pop.
1968
01:42:38,648 --> 01:42:40,557
309914, roast those idiots.
1969
01:42:40,691 --> 01:42:42,102
I repeat: Roast those idiots.
1970
01:42:53,413 --> 01:42:55,620
We have to get out of here.
There is too much news.
1971
01:42:55,749 --> 01:42:57,327
Kicking, say.
1972
01:42:57,459 --> 01:42:58,835
That monster is my friend.
1973
01:42:58,961 --> 01:43:01,000
We can still make it to your son's concert.
1974
01:43:02,423 --> 01:43:04,131
Hey, Ronny.
1975
01:43:04,425 --> 01:43:07,462
Jack Lime, come on, I want to
to my son's concert.
1976
01:43:07,595 --> 01:43:09,386
No. No way.
1977
01:43:09,514 --> 01:43:10,510
We are in the minority.
1978
01:43:10,640 --> 01:43:12,265
Make way, because I'm coming.
1979
01:43:27,992 --> 01:43:30,115
And then there came
four men on motorcycles.
1980
01:43:30,619 --> 01:43:33,407
Wes Mantooth and the news team
from Channel Nine.
1981
01:43:33,748 --> 01:43:35,076
What are you doing here?
1982
01:43:35,208 --> 01:43:36,536
This is not a regional fight.
1983
01:43:36,876 --> 01:43:38,454
You made one mistake.
1984
01:43:39,337 --> 01:43:41,246
You had foreseen it
on someone from San Diego.
1985
01:43:41,798 --> 01:43:44,834
You pronounce it San Diago.
1986
01:43:45,135 --> 01:43:47,590
Ron and I don't agree on everything,
1987
01:43:48,513 --> 01:43:49,758
but we have a bond.
1988
01:43:49,890 --> 01:43:51,598
We both come from the most beautiful city
on earth.
1989
01:43:53,477 --> 01:43:54,722
Cute, you know.
1990
01:43:55,479 --> 01:43:57,021
But we are in the majority.
1991
01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,735
It's like this: while I was talking,
1992
01:44:00,860 --> 01:44:04,311
has my team
dumped all the gasoline on you.
1993
01:44:07,367 --> 01:44:09,988
If I drop this,
y'all go 'kaboom'.
1994
01:44:10,328 --> 01:44:12,368
You're forgetting something, apprentice.
1995
01:44:12,497 --> 01:44:14,122
If you do that, you will die too.
1996
01:44:18,045 --> 01:44:19,836
After everything I've done in my life,
1997
01:44:20,798 --> 01:44:22,707
I will burn in hell.
1998
01:44:23,842 --> 01:44:26,464
So I'm not afraid
to burn on earth.
1999
01:44:26,887 --> 01:44:28,430
Oh my goodness.
2000
01:44:28,639 --> 01:44:30,762
That's the coolest thing
what I ever heard.
2001
01:44:31,517 --> 01:44:32,680
Okay.
2002
01:44:34,103 --> 01:44:35,183
This fight is over.
2003
01:44:37,273 --> 01:44:38,436
Come along, guys.
2004
01:44:39,651 --> 01:44:42,486
Hooray, we won. Party.
2005
01:44:42,654 --> 01:44:43,852
Asterisks.
2006
01:44:43,989 --> 01:44:46,658
- No, no, Brick.
- No.
2007
01:45:10,642 --> 01:45:12,931
- Bravo.
- Yes.
2008
01:45:15,230 --> 01:45:16,261
Dad.
2009
01:45:16,481 --> 01:45:18,770
I fought a Minotaur
to be here.
2010
01:45:19,443 --> 01:45:20,641
And I would do it again.
2011
01:45:20,903 --> 01:45:24,438
Together we can defeat voodoo.
2012
01:45:24,865 --> 01:45:27,535
Ron had finally learned
more of his son
2013
01:45:27,660 --> 01:45:30,282
and to keep his wife
than of his career.
2014
01:45:31,414 --> 01:45:33,988
It later turned out that this was his last broadcast
2015
01:45:34,542 --> 01:45:37,746
the most watched TV moment
of the year.
2016
01:45:38,505 --> 01:45:40,996
Him, his team and Veronica
2017
01:45:41,133 --> 01:45:43,624
could get any job
anything they wanted.
2018
01:45:44,428 --> 01:45:48,129
But first they had to
do something different.
2019
01:45:50,601 --> 01:45:54,599
Before I commit this couple to marriage,
2020
01:45:55,106 --> 01:45:59,483
Brick and Chani ask for your attention
for their vows.
2021
01:46:00,528 --> 01:46:01,559
Dearest Brick.
2022
01:46:02,030 --> 01:46:03,690
Everything I have is yours.
2023
01:46:04,741 --> 01:46:07,066
My four lawnmowers. My sister.
2024
01:46:08,161 --> 01:46:09,821
My 35 ferrets.
2025
01:46:09,955 --> 01:46:12,161
My enormous student debt and mortgage.
2026
01:46:12,749 --> 01:46:13,912
All from you.
2027
01:46:15,919 --> 01:46:17,248
Oh, Chani.
2028
01:46:17,379 --> 01:46:20,546
I never forget the moment
that I saw you.
2029
01:46:20,674 --> 01:46:26,678
My penis started to itch
in my pants. I thought, 'Oh, dear.
2030
01:46:26,806 --> 01:46:31,053
'Here comes that warm milkshake again
from the tip of my belly stick.'
2031
01:46:31,686 --> 01:46:34,308
Then I now pronounce you man and wife.
2032
01:46:34,439 --> 01:46:35,850
You may kiss the bride.
2033
01:46:49,914 --> 01:46:52,583
Beautiful. Beautiful ceremony.
2034
01:52:23,851 --> 01:52:25,808
Okay, go ahead.
2035
01:52:27,188 --> 01:52:28,682
Do you think...
2036
01:52:28,814 --> 01:52:30,309
I don't know how a computer works.
2037
01:52:30,441 --> 01:52:33,526
I just saw Jack Lime.
2038
01:52:33,653 --> 01:52:35,895
He's scary.
2039
01:52:36,030 --> 01:52:38,272
I was terrified.