1 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:34,615 Natasha Nikolaevna. 2 00:00:34,745 --> 00:00:37,120 Natasha Nikolaevna. 3 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:41,330 I'm going. Call the priest. 4 00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:44,500 Get my son-in-law. Hurry! 5 00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:46,500 I must talk to him. 6 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:50,050 There's something I must tell him before I die. 7 00:00:50,135 --> 00:00:53,300 There, there, Claudia Ivanovna. You will be all right. Just- 8 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,390 Oh. 9 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:04,980 Kolya! 10 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,400 Kolya, quick. Run to the town hall. 11 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,903 Tell Vorobyaninov his mother-in-law is dying. 12 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,655 Tell him to hurry. I'm going to get the priest. 13 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,659 Oh. 14 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:33,050 Bozhe moi. That poor woman. 15 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,052 That poor woman. 16 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,679 Who is going to take care of me? 17 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:55,197 It's in the hands of God now. All we can do is pray. 18 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,282 Thank you for coming, Father. 19 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,202 It was my pleasure. 20 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,496 Go to her. Go to her, my child. 21 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,873 Comfort her. She needs you. 22 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,042 Courage. Courage. 23 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,512 Father Fyo- Ooh! 24 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,556 Dor. 25 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,100 She's inside. Not to worry. 26 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,145 I, uh� Courage. 27 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,366 Oh. Oh. 28 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,451 Oh, my dear neighbor. 29 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,453 I'm so glad you're here. 30 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,831 She has been calling for you. 31 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,000 I just saw the priest. 32 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,627 He seemed in a great hurry. 33 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,922 He was very peculiar. Very peculiar. 34 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,008 She just confessed. 35 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,011 How is she? 36 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,138 She is doing splendidly. 37 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,016 The doctor says she'll be on her feet in a week. 38 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,352 She'll be dead before morning. She looks terrible. 39 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,897 I'd better go in. 40 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,027 Ippolit, it's you. You've come. 41 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,155 Yes. I'm here. 42 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,908 It's me. Oh, thank God. 43 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,410 Ippolit, 44 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:26,622 do you remember our dining room suite? 45 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,710 Dining room suite? 46 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,837 In the big house in Stargorod. 47 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:39,051 Before the revolution. Ah, yes. 48 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,136 Beautiful furniture. 49 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,764 Made by Hambs of London. 50 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:50,062 Ippolit, my jewels. 51 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,814 My diamonds. 52 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,776 I sewed them into one of the chairs. 53 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,321 What? My diamonds. My jewels. 54 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:05,452 I sewed them into one of the chairs. 55 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:11,124 My gorgeous diamond tiara. 56 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:16,255 I wore it when I was presented at court. 57 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,885 My beautiful pearl earrings. Pearl. 58 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,765 My emerald brooch. Emerald. 59 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,935 My diamond necklace. Diamond. 60 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:34,648 The little gold cat with the ruby eyes. 61 00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,109 Stuffed in a ch� 62 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:41,989 How could you do such a thing? 63 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,658 Why didn't you give them to me? 64 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:46,952 Why should I have given them to you... 65 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,289 when you had already squandered away half my daughter's estate... 66 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,708 with your parties and your horses? 67 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,961 Why didn't you take them out? Why did you leave them there? 68 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,046 I didn't have time! 69 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,924 You remember how quickly we had to flee? 70 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,051 They were left in the chair. 71 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,846 Bozhe moi. 72 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,640 Bozhe moi! 73 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:12,519 50,000 rubles' worth of jewelry... 74 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,646 stuffed in a chair! 75 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,943 Heaven knows who may sit on that chair! 76 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,988 If it's still a chair! 77 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,575 It may be firewood by now. 78 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,747 How could you do such a thing? 79 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:45,344 How could you do such a thing? 80 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,390 Please, Ippolit. 81 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,686 I know I did wrong, but... 82 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,439 please forgive me. 83 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,113 Of course. 84 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,659 Of course, maman. 85 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,497 Of course I forgive you. 86 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,591 Thank you. 87 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:28,720 Now I can die in peace. 88 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:38,438 Hope for the best 89 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,524 Expect the worst 90 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:44,403 Some drink champagne some die of thirst 91 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,738 No way of knowing 92 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,740 Which way it's going 93 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,827 Hope for the best expect the worst 94 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,663 Hope for the best 95 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,665 Expect the worst 96 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,792 The world's a stage 97 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,794 We're unrehearsed 98 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:04,714 Some reach the top, friends while others flop, friends 99 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:08,885 Hope for the best expect the worst 100 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,056 I knew a man who saved a fortune that was splendid 101 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,893 Then he died the day he planned to go and spend it 102 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,563 Shouting Live while you're alive 103 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,565 No one will survive 104 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,733 Life is sorrow 105 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,696 Here today and gone tomorrow Live while you're alive 106 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,698 No one will survive 107 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,033 There's no guarantee 108 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,244 Hope for the best 109 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,955 Expect the worst 110 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:41,001 You could be Tolstoy or Fannie Hurst 111 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,003 So take your chances 112 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:45,005 There are no answers 113 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,966 Hope for the best expect the worst 114 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:09,321 I knew a man who saved a fortune that was splendid 115 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,824 Then he died the day he planned to go and spend it 116 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,327 Shouting Live while you're alive 117 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,454 No one will survive 118 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:21,291 Life is funny Spend your money 119 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,460 Live while you're alive 120 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,462 No one will survive 121 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:28,256 There's no guarantee 122 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,760 Hope for the best 123 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,762 Expect the worst 124 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,264 The rich are blessed 125 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,266 The poor are cursed 126 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,268 That is a fact, friends 127 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,270 The deck is stacked, friend 128 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,900 Hope for the best expect the 129 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,570 Even with a good beginning it's not certain that you're winning 130 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,949 Even with the best of chances they can kick you in the "pantses" 131 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,869 Look out for the Watch out for the 132 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:02,499 Worst 133 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,459 Hey 134 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,466 Give! Open your heart! 135 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:19,140 Thank you, sir. Thank you. Very generous of you. 136 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,824 Now there's a healthy girl. 137 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,086 What can I say, little father? 138 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,380 It's a miracle. I can see. 139 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,716 I can walk. Rejoice! 140 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,439 Do you love me? 141 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:11,443 Well, let�s just say that I am very much in lust with you. 142 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,987 Oh, my God. My husband! 143 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,071 Your husband? 144 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:20,368 Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 145 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:23,246 Out goes the bad air� What's going on? 146 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,791 - Who are you? - This woman is my wife. I'm her husband. 147 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,503 She fainted just outside the door. I'm giving her artificial respiration. 148 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:34,382 How dare you allow a frail creature like this to carry heavy bundles. 149 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,552 - Has she ever fainted before? - Never. Maybe once. I don't know. 150 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,763 All right. Come on. Take over. 151 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,848 Now remember, out goes the bad air, 152 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,850 in goes the good air. 153 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,811 Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 154 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,814 I should report you for this, but we'll let it go. Thank you. 155 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,776 Thank you. You are very kind. It will never happen again. I promise. Never. 156 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:57,155 See that it doesn't! Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 157 00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:03,161 Out goes the good air, in goes the bad air. 158 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,767 There, there. 159 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,854 Oh, boy. You must have fallen. 160 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,940 Thank you. 161 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,068 Who are you? Ostap Bender at your service. 162 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,362 Cigarette? 163 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,868 Thank you. 164 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,870 Tell me, uh, comrade- 165 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:29,706 "Comrade." "Comrade." 166 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,083 Everybody calls me comrade. 167 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:36,045 Everybody in the new Soviet Union is a comrade. 168 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,882 People you don't know, strangers. 169 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,009 Everybody says "comrade." 170 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,679 Oh, I miss Russia. 171 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,765 Hmm, yes. 172 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:50,560 Tell me, uh, what goes on in this great house? 173 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,438 Mostly dying. 174 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,440 Dying. 175 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:59,819 It's an old-age home for weary, old ladies. 176 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:04,282 They tippy-toe in, they have a little bowl of porridge... 177 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,993 and� That's it. 178 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:10,455 Oh, what a pity. What a pity. 179 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,791 See, I thought it was a hotel. 180 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,960 You, uh� You don't happen to know of any nearby, do you? 181 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,756 You see, I�ve come a long way, and I�m seeking suitable lodgings for the night. 182 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,175 Oh, uh, by the by, 183 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:24,761 do you happen to have a spare bed down there? 184 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,559 No, I don't, Mr. By the By. 185 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,646 I don't happen to have a spare bed. 186 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,398 There isn't a spare bed in all of Russia! 187 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,859 People are sleeping between each other... 188 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,986 and you're talking spare bed. 189 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,323 You make me laugh. Ho, wah, wah, wah, wah. 190 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,409 "Spare bed." You must be nuts. 191 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,706 Listen. 192 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,708 I'll tell you what. 193 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,127 If you'll buy me a drink, 194 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,213 you can sleep on the floor. 195 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,299 Done. Good. 196 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,342 Come on. 197 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,846 What are you doing in Stargorod? You look to me like a Muscovite. 198 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,557 Listen, tell me. Tell me. Who lived here in the old days? 199 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:13,935 Oh, in the old days was my master, 200 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,522 Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov. 201 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,817 He was a marshal of the nobility. 202 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:24,529 I loved him. He hardly ever beat us. 203 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,574 Ah. And whatever became of your lovable master? 204 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:31,244 One night, about 10 years ago, was a fearful noise. 205 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,997 It was bombs and cannons and soldiers shooting. 206 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,999 It was terrible, terrible. 207 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,543 Oh, yes. I think it was called the revolution. 208 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:41,629 That was it. The revolution. 209 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,341 You're smart. You're smart and you're gorgeous. 210 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,552 You're okay. 211 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,637 Anyways, 212 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,308 they all run away. 213 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,395 Well, come on, old boy. 214 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,898 Let us see how drunk... 215 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,026 two Russians can get on one ruble. 216 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,486 I like that. Two Russians, one ruble. 217 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:41,272 Ah. Ivan, fetch the marshal's horse. 218 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,524 He's coming. He's coming. 219 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,374 Master. 220 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,049 I love him. I love him. 221 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:14,764 Please, dear, hurry home. But don't gallop. 222 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,976 "Don't gallop." Do you hear that, Petya? 223 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,646 "Don't gallop," but "Hurry home." 224 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:25,149 That's your job. You'll have to puzzle it out. It's too much for me. 225 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,193 Ippolit, take care. 226 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:29,320 Don't drink too much, and don't gamble. 227 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,656 And stay away from the gypsies. 228 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:35,535 - Ils sont voleurs. - Chere maman, restez calme. 229 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,121 Tout va bien. Tikon, you idiot, my gloves. 230 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,248 There, master. 231 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,253 I love him. I love him. 232 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,769 Here's your castle. 233 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:05,023 Drink vodka, we talk. We have some fun. 234 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,109 You know what we can... 235 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,194 do. 236 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,532 Master? 237 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:15,992 Tikon. 238 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,077 Master? 239 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,039 Is it really him? 240 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,000 It's impossible! It can't be! 241 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,002 It can't be! 242 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:28,212 It can't be! It can't be! 243 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,548 Oh, ma� 244 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,051 Oh, that's him. That's him. 245 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,470 That's my master. 246 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,181 Oh, master, master. 247 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,391 Here, Tikon. Oh, so good to see you. 248 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:44,312 Here is a ruble. You go have some vodka, and you don't come back for a bit. 249 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,523 Vodka. Your master and I have business to discuss. 250 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,525 Come on. 251 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,527 Business. Business. Come on. 252 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,112 Tikon. 253 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:58,159 You're not to say a word to anyone about my being here. 254 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,328 It is secret. 255 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,627 I'm not to tell anyone my master is in Stargorod. 256 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,839 It's a secret. My master told me a secret. 257 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,721 So, 258 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,599 you'd prefer to keep your whereabouts a secret. 259 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,601 Very interesting. 260 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,978 Who are you? 261 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:29,649 What is this business you have to discuss with me? 262 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:33,236 I have no business with you. 263 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,571 What do you want? 264 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,573 Oh, I don't know. 265 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,076 I guess maybe it depends upon what you're hiding. 266 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,705 Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter. Give me that. That's mine! 267 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,709 Oh, how very impressive. 268 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,712 This ought to fetch quite a lot. 269 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,842 Please give me that paper. It's personal property. 270 00:18:55,926 --> 00:19:00,638 Oh, haven't you heard? There is no personal property in the Soviet Union. 271 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,807 Everything belongs to the people. 272 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,309 Will you please give me that paper? 273 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,729 It is a private matter, and I am not at liberty to discuss it. 274 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,816 Yes, of course. Of course. One shouldn't interfere in private matters. 275 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,819 It's considered gauche. There you are. 276 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:17,738 Now, I must be off. 277 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:23,828 - Where are you going? - Ah, the eternal question. 278 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,830 Quo vadis? 279 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:29,917 Well, if you must know, I am "vadising" off to gossip with the secret police. 280 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:38,342 - "Secret police"? - Well, what can I do, old cock? 281 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,512 After all, I am a patriotic citizen of the Soviet Union. 282 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:45,099 It is my sacred duty to turn you in. 283 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,812 Now, maybe if you weren't such a selfish pig, we could do business. 284 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,856 I can't. I'm going. 285 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,482 Wait. Why? 286 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,234 Let's talk. About what? 287 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,028 Things. What things? 288 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,863 I don't know. Situation� I�m going. 289 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,072 Wait. Why? 290 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,532 Let's talk. About what? 291 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,700 It. What's "it"? 292 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,202 You know. I know what? 293 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,996 What we're talking about. We're talking about nothing. I'm going. 294 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,206 You mustn't. I must. 295 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,332 Why? The reward. 296 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,833 What reward? For turning you in. 297 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:11,876 Wait. Why? 298 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,169 We'll talk. About what? 299 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:16,130 About the diamonds, the diamonds, the diamonds! 300 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,927 The diamonds. 301 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,934 And most of this stuff was purchased... 302 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:31,229 20 or 30 years ago for about 50,000 rubles, hmm? 303 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,314 Yes. 304 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,483 That means that today... 305 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:41,489 they'd probably be worth between 150,000 and 200,000. 306 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,617 As much as that? 307 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:47,036 Not a kopeck less. 308 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,413 And maybe more. 309 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:54,001 I've got to find those chairs. 310 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,674 Tikon is back. 311 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,718 - Tikon, come here. - Coming, master. 312 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,472 - Tikon� - Coming. I'm coming. 313 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:10,142 Coming, master. I'm coming. Coming. Coming. Coming. 314 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:13,354 Coming. Coming. Coming. Coming. 315 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,190 I'm coming, master. I'm coming. 316 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,277 I'm coming. I'm coming, master. 317 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,279 I'm coming. I'm coming, master. 318 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,991 Tikon. You see? I'm here. 319 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,911 Tikon, the furniture. What happened to the furniture? 320 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,955 The furniture. Yes, the furniture. 321 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,125 What happened to the furniture? The furniture? 322 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,961 What happened to the furniture? 323 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,926 Tikon. Tikon. 324 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:51,434 Well, cross-examination of the witness... 325 00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:54,061 will have to be adjourned until tomorrow morning. 326 00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:57,064 Let's go to bed. 327 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,831 Oh, thou who knowest all� 328 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,917 You know. 329 00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:38,564 Tikon. 330 00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:40,566 Master. Mmm. 331 00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:43,319 Oh, master, you're still� Shh. 332 00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:45,446 Where is the furniture? 333 00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,865 The furniture? Yes, Tikon. 334 00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:49,867 Where is the furniture? 335 00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,828 You mean upstairs in the house? 336 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,830 Yes 337 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,208 Some of it is still there. 338 00:22:57,292 --> 00:23:01,545 The velvet sofa is there. It's a mess now. 339 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:05,091 And the andirons. They kept the andirons. 340 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,843 Did they keep the chairs? 341 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,930 There was a dining room suite with 12 chairs, 342 00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:12,973 made by Hambs of London. 343 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:17,645 They were upholstered in gold brocade. 344 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,272 Do you remember? 345 00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:24,610 Twelve chairs. Walnut. Covered in gold brocade. 346 00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:26,320 Yes! Yes! That's them! That's them! 347 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,072 They're gone. 348 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:33,202 - All but one. - Where is it? 349 00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:36,080 The pantry, outside the kitchen. 350 00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:39,250 Sits there. A major. A beauty. 351 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:42,628 Good. Now what happened to the other 11 chairs? 352 00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:45,673 One morning, a big van came... 353 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:48,592 from the Bureau of Housing, took everything. 354 00:23:48,718 --> 00:23:51,095 The Bureau of Housing? Shh. 355 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:54,598 Now, think, Tikon. What street is the Bureau of Housing on? 356 00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:04,150 Headache! Headache! I have such a headache! 357 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,153 What I did last night. All right. Never mind. I'll find it. 358 00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,864 What do you mean you'll find it? 359 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,032 Look, I don't give a damn who finds it. 360 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,326 All right. It's time for action. 361 00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,996 You will go upstairs and occupy chair number one, 362 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,373 and I will lead the attack at the Bureau of Housing. 363 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:22,209 I'm off. Uh, wait. 364 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,795 What shall I tell them? 365 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,340 You will tell them that you are Cousin Michael from Kiev, 366 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:31,427 and you will say that all the Vorobyaninovs are dead... 367 00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:35,514 and that you are willing to pay hard rubles for something... 368 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,933 to remember them by. 369 00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:46,358 Cousin Michael from Kiev. All the Vorobyaninovs are dead. 370 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:50,154 I am Cousin Michael from Kiev. All the Vorobyaninovs are dead. 371 00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:01,040 Yes? I am Cousin Kiev from Vorobyaninov. 372 00:25:01,124 --> 00:25:04,084 All the Michaels are dead. What? 373 00:25:08,715 --> 00:25:10,633 What can I do for you? 374 00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:12,885 I am Cousin� Chair! 375 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,399 Aaah! Give me that� I want that chair! 376 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,443 Stop or I�ll call the police! Police? 377 00:25:30,987 --> 00:25:34,114 Give it to me! Give it to me! No! No! No! No! 378 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,242 Aaah! 379 00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,433 Father Fyodor. 380 00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,524 How are ya? 381 00:26:08,608 --> 00:26:12,736 Well, this is disgusting. 382 00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:15,614 This is truly disgusting. 383 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:18,075 Not so fast! Not so fast! 384 00:26:18,159 --> 00:26:20,286 That's my chair. Ah. 385 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:24,039 It's the Holy Father. Taking up a collection, are you? 386 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:28,002 Here's a donation. 387 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,671 Thank you. 388 00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:40,723 Why are you after my chair? It's not yours. 389 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:43,976 Then whose is it? It's nationalized property. 390 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:46,604 It belongs to the workers. Did you say the workers? 391 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,440 - Yes. The workers. - Maybe the Holy Father... 392 00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:51,734 is a member of the Communist Party. 393 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,278 Maybe. But the party is for atheists. 394 00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:56,655 How can a priest join the party? 395 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:00,868 The church must keep up with the times. 396 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,777 How did you find out about the jewels? 397 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:37,529 People talk. 398 00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:42,159 Why, you disgusting creature. 399 00:27:42,243 --> 00:27:45,454 You used the sacred sacrament of confession... 400 00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:48,040 to further your own ends! 401 00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,876 Not really. Well, you are just about... 402 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,338 the most contemptible creature... 403 00:27:54,422 --> 00:27:57,800 it has ever been my misfortune to meet. 404 00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:02,304 You're not worth spitting on! 405 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:05,974 Well, you are! 406 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:08,852 Come back, you coward! 407 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:11,563 You'd better keep away from my chairs! 408 00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:15,734 Finders, keepers! 409 00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:23,200 Hmm. It�s just like a detective story. 410 00:28:23,284 --> 00:28:25,786 We have a mysterious rival. 411 00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:32,126 Hey, uh, you'd better get out of here. You look rather conspicuous. 412 00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:35,421 You're right. You're right. 413 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:39,049 Oh, how I hate him. Oh, God, how I hate him. 414 00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:41,135 Go. 415 00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:26,532 "Hambs." 416 00:30:26,616 --> 00:30:30,118 "Drapes." 417 00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:35,332 Here we are. 418 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,568 Hello. 419 00:31:03,903 --> 00:31:05,737 Ah. 420 00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:11,034 Oh. 421 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:23,714 That's it. 422 00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:29,428 Can I help you? 423 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,513 Well? 424 00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:39,938 I didn't know anybody was... here. 425 00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:44,610 I came in and� 426 00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:46,612 I� 427 00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:50,157 Persons seeking information are to wait in the waiting area prescribed for them. 428 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,659 It is a criminal offense for unauthorized citizens... 429 00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,661 to tamper with official files. 430 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,039 Oh, yes. Yes, to be sure. To be sure. 431 00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:02,961 Remove your hat. Oh. 432 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:06,965 All right. Now that you are in the proper area, would you please state your business? 433 00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:09,551 Chairs. Dining room, 434 00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,095 walnut, made by Hambs, 435 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:17,184 belonging to a certain Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov. 436 00:32:17,310 --> 00:32:19,269 Tell me, comrade. Yes. 437 00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:23,774 Why exactly are you seeking this particular set of chairs? 438 00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:26,401 It's, uh� it's personal. 439 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,905 I'm sorry. 440 00:32:29,989 --> 00:32:32,199 No information, no information. 441 00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,368 All right. All right. 442 00:32:35,703 --> 00:32:38,622 I'll tell you everything. 443 00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:41,291 I am Vorobyaninov's son. 444 00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:45,420 His firstborn. 445 00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,464 He was like a father to me. 446 00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:50,092 So, 447 00:32:50,176 --> 00:32:53,887 you are Vorobyaninov's son. 448 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,890 Yes, I am. 449 00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,934 How old are you? Forty-six. Forty-four. 450 00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:01,019 Which is it? Forty-two. I'm 42. 451 00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:05,107 According to our records, Vorobyaninov is 53. 452 00:33:05,191 --> 00:33:08,151 That means that when you were born, your father was... 453 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,195 11. 454 00:33:14,575 --> 00:33:17,452 Ah. 455 00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:29,756 Ticktock. 456 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,260 - Are you trying to bribe a Soviet official? - Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. 457 00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:35,554 I was hoping for the best. 458 00:33:35,638 --> 00:33:39,599 Well, since you are Vorobyaninov's only son, 459 00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,518 I�ll see what I can do. 460 00:33:41,602 --> 00:33:43,520 Thank you. Bless you. 461 00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:46,273 Now, if you will just excuse me, 462 00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:48,358 I will be back in one moment. 463 00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:51,570 Oh, thank you. Bless you. 464 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,870 Ah. Perfect. 465 00:33:59,954 --> 00:34:04,291 One dozen Hambs chairs, property of General Polyakov. 466 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,293 Ah. 467 00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:08,462 Better make that 11. 468 00:34:10,965 --> 00:34:14,217 Sent to a certain engineer Bruns, irkutsk- 469 00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:19,139 Siberia. 470 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,976 Here we are. Ah. 471 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,063 Here's your shipping order. Ah. Oh. Ah. 472 00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:28,148 One moment, please. Excuse me. 473 00:34:28,274 --> 00:34:30,275 Procedure. Uh-huh. 474 00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:34,071 I hope you find your chairs. Ah. 475 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:41,244 Eleven chairs. 476 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:43,580 That's it. Thank you. Thank you. 477 00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:46,416 Thank you. Thank you. 478 00:34:47,543 --> 00:34:49,753 Bless you. Bless you. 479 00:34:49,837 --> 00:34:53,090 Bless you. Bless you! Bless you! 480 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:41,805 Moscow. 481 00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:44,766 The chairs are in Moscow. 482 00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:46,810 I can hardly believe it. 483 00:35:46,894 --> 00:35:50,021 I mean, we're actually going to see them. 484 00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:53,066 My chairs are in a museum. 485 00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:57,112 I never realized they were so valuable. 486 00:35:57,196 --> 00:36:00,073 If they only knew. 487 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,243 Moscow! 488 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:50,457 They're not here. The chairs are not here. 489 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:53,543 Look. See that cabinet? Empire. 490 00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:56,421 And those writing tables. Louis Quinze. 491 00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:59,716 We're on the wrong floor. I know we're on the wrong floor. Take it easy. 492 00:36:59,842 --> 00:37:03,386 Take it easy. And what if they're not here at all? 493 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:06,056 How would we ever find them, hmm? Where would we look? 494 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:08,683 Who would we ask? They're lost, I tell you. Lost. 495 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,602 I never should have� 496 00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:17,192 My chairs. 497 00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:20,237 My chairs! 498 00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,280 That's my furniture! 499 00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,659 I wonder which one it is. 500 00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:29,329 Don't you worry about it. We will know soon enough. 501 00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:33,124 We will get the chairs at closing time. 502 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:36,002 Closing time. 503 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,755 Closing time. Closing time. 504 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,466 Closing time. 505 00:37:41,550 --> 00:37:45,220 Closing time. Closing time. 506 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:51,268 What shall we do? 507 00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:55,230 Wait until these people go by, and then you follow me. 508 00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,793 Here we are. 509 00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:20,672 Get those Hambs dining room chairs... 510 00:38:20,756 --> 00:38:22,966 and put them on the cart. 511 00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,885 Shh, shh, shh. 512 00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:29,472 Don't make a sound. 513 00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:32,309 Calm. Calm. 514 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:34,894 At all costs. 515 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,564 No. 516 00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:41,735 No, no, no, no, no. Don't take them all. 517 00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:43,778 Leave four. 518 00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:47,198 Four. We are only taking seven. 519 00:38:47,283 --> 00:38:50,452 Why are they only taking seven? 520 00:38:50,536 --> 00:38:52,662 We are only taking seven... 521 00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,706 because four is enough... 522 00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,708 to represent the period. 523 00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:59,586 That's why. 524 00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:02,380 Good. Good. Now, 525 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:05,633 take the chairs to the freight entrance. 526 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:09,387 They will be collected at 8:00 a.m. Tomorrow morning. 527 00:39:09,472 --> 00:39:11,598 Good. 528 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:21,149 They're getting away. They're getting away. 529 00:39:21,233 --> 00:39:23,693 They're not getting away. 530 00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:26,488 We know exactly where they're going. 531 00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:31,409 And if luck is with us, we will never have to see those other chairs again. 532 00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:34,829 What do you mean? I mean, thickhead, 533 00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:38,249 the jewels might very well be hidden... 534 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:42,212 in one of these four beauties. 535 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:49,427 - What are you doing? - Maybe we missed something. 536 00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:51,805 Does this look like we missed anything? 537 00:40:07,696 --> 00:40:09,906 The chairs! The chairs! 538 00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:12,826 I know, I know. Shut up. 539 00:40:14,161 --> 00:40:17,580 "Columbus Repertory Theatre." 540 00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,958 Two, 541 00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:24,003 four, six. 542 00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:28,425 Six. Seven. 543 00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:30,552 Where's seven? 544 00:40:30,636 --> 00:40:32,554 They're leaving! 545 00:40:32,638 --> 00:40:34,681 It's all right. We know where they're going. 546 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,683 Our problem is number seven. 547 00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,769 Where is number seven? 548 00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:43,273 Well, I must find out. 549 00:40:43,357 --> 00:40:45,275 Yes, we must find out. 550 00:40:45,359 --> 00:40:47,527 Not "we." /. 551 00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:50,447 You sit here and wait for me. 552 00:40:50,531 --> 00:40:55,076 Sit. 553 00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:00,165 Stay. 554 00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:14,280 Irkutsk! Irkutsk! 555 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,366 Siberia! 556 00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:08,209 Whoo! 557 00:43:08,335 --> 00:43:11,004 Yes? I am looking for Engineer Bruns. 558 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:14,257 I am Engineer Bruns. 559 00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:16,718 What do you want? 560 00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:21,472 What is it? What are you doing? 561 00:43:24,768 --> 00:43:26,853 Olga! What's going on? What's going on? 562 00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:29,564 Andrei, why is that man kissing your knee? 563 00:43:29,648 --> 00:43:31,733 I don't know. Dear lady- 564 00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:34,193 Oh! Oh! On you I rest all my hopes. 565 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,488 Ooh! Ow! Ooh! On the chair. 566 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,907 No, no, no. Don't� I must grovel at your feet. 567 00:43:40,034 --> 00:43:42,744 Put him up on the chair. No, no, no, no. 568 00:43:42,828 --> 00:43:45,455 Now, once and for all, who are you and what do you want? 569 00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:48,750 I want to grovel at your feet. I must grovel at your feet. No groveling. 570 00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:51,711 There will be no groveling in this house. This is a Soviet household. 571 00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:53,838 We don't allow groveling. What do you want? 572 00:43:53,922 --> 00:43:56,633 I� Hmm. 573 00:43:56,717 --> 00:44:00,511 These chairs. I must have these chairs. 574 00:44:01,847 --> 00:44:04,515 He wants our chairs. Maybe he's a furniture dealer. 575 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,309 Are you a furniture dealer? Is that it? 576 00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:11,147 Not for personal gain. I assure you, not for personal gain. 577 00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:13,650 My motives are pure. Ohh. 578 00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:16,486 They're the very best motives. I� I� I think... 579 00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:18,946 you're going to be very impressed with my motives. 580 00:44:19,031 --> 00:44:20,948 Yes. 581 00:44:21,033 --> 00:44:23,076 - Well? - Well what? 582 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,912 Your motives. You didn't tell us your motives. 583 00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:29,874 Oh, yes. My motives. My motives. 584 00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:31,918 Come on, brain. 585 00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:34,962 Got it! 586 00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:39,175 The chairs belonged to my wife and her mother before her, 587 00:44:39,259 --> 00:44:41,511 and now my wife is ill. 588 00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:46,516 She's very ill. She's dying, dying. Dead. 589 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:51,062 Dying. Uh, she keeps calling for her chairs. 590 00:44:51,146 --> 00:44:53,106 Oh, please. You cannot deny me. 591 00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:56,192 It's a dying woman's wish. 592 00:44:56,276 --> 00:44:59,737 Olga, what shall we do? Shall we give him the chairs? 593 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:03,491 Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's taking my chairs. You dirty- 594 00:45:03,575 --> 00:45:05,702 I'm sorry. I cannot let you have the chairs. 595 00:45:05,786 --> 00:45:09,956 I didn't hear that. 596 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,999 I didn't hear that. 597 00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:15,044 I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. I don't want to hear that. 598 00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:17,714 Don't you understand? I don't want to hear that. 599 00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:19,799 Ooh! That's a hot� 600 00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:22,969 That's a hot� 601 00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:29,225 My dear lady, don't you understand? 602 00:45:29,309 --> 00:45:32,270 I need those chairs! 603 00:45:32,354 --> 00:45:34,772 - Andrei! - Oh, please. 604 00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:37,108 - Oh, please. - Stop that! Andrei! 605 00:45:37,192 --> 00:45:39,360 Out! 606 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,779 I want him out of this house immediately! 607 00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,032 Well, that's done it. 608 00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:49,620 Wait. Wait. Let's discuss this like adults! 609 00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,792 Don't judge a book by its cover. 610 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,885 A memento. A memento of my visit to your lovely home. 611 00:46:03,969 --> 00:46:05,970 Ow! Ow! 612 00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:08,973 Ow! 613 00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:15,104 Ah! 614 00:46:17,357 --> 00:46:20,401 Wait! Wait! I'll pay! 615 00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:23,196 100 rubles! 616 00:46:25,699 --> 00:46:28,409 102? 617 00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:44,425 You down there. 618 00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:47,637 If we don't sail in 10 minutes, I'll miss the tide. 619 00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:51,307 Wait, please. A few more minutes. 620 00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:55,019 One of my actors is missing. 621 00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:05,363 Wait. 622 00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:14,872 Gronsky. Where is Gronsky? 623 00:47:16,959 --> 00:47:21,045 How the hell can I do the play without Gronsky? 624 00:47:21,129 --> 00:47:24,340 Sevitsky, how could you let this happen? 625 00:47:24,424 --> 00:47:26,592 It's your job to make sure that the actors... 626 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,387 are supposed to be where they're supposed to be... 627 00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:31,264 and not wandering around drunk somewhere. 628 00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:34,016 Well� Shut up. 629 00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:36,018 Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. 630 00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:38,104 That's all I hear from you. 631 00:47:39,273 --> 00:47:41,649 Oh, my goodness. 632 00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:45,152 I look dreadful. Why didn't you say something? 633 00:47:45,237 --> 00:47:48,656 Time and tide wait for no man. 634 00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:51,200 I like that reading. 635 00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:53,327 Maybe he could play the count. 636 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,873 Sevitsky, that vulgar man in the wheelhouse, 637 00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:59,500 it's only good for one thing� 638 00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:01,586 running ships... 639 00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:06,716 and trying to browbeat his superiors. 640 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,720 Well, if worse comes to worse, 641 00:48:10,804 --> 00:48:13,598 I shall play the count. 642 00:48:13,682 --> 00:48:17,101 Worse shall never come to that worse. 643 00:48:19,271 --> 00:48:21,188 Excuse me. 644 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:24,775 I'm looking for the commissar producer of the Columbus Theatre. 645 00:48:27,821 --> 00:48:30,698 That's me. Good, good. I'm in time. 646 00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,786 And what do you want? 647 00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:38,164 I've just come from Gronsky. He told me to find you. 648 00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:40,875 - Where is he? - Moscow General Hospital. 649 00:48:40,959 --> 00:48:44,712 - Yes, he was a little in his cups, you might say. 650 00:48:44,796 --> 00:48:48,382 He tried to stop a streetcar. He suffered two broken legs and minor contusions. 651 00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:50,718 And, uh, who are you? 652 00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:53,888 Well, I am from the Artists' Union, theater division. I'm to accompany you. 653 00:48:53,972 --> 00:48:56,724 I took the liberty of getting an immediate replacement for Gronsky. 654 00:48:56,850 --> 00:49:00,770 Fine actor. Made for the part. With your permission, I will just bring him right on board. One moment. 655 00:49:00,854 --> 00:49:02,355 I� 656 00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:09,362 Guess what. From now on, you are an actor. 657 00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:28,089 Sevitsky. 658 00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:34,303 Where are you going with that samovar? What samovar? 659 00:49:34,429 --> 00:49:37,640 That samovar. Oh, this samovar. 660 00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:40,518 Yes. Well, I was going to have it polished up... 661 00:49:40,602 --> 00:49:42,520 for the show tonight. 662 00:49:42,604 --> 00:49:46,941 Sevitsky, if I catch you trying to sell another piece of company property, 663 00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:50,611 Siberia! 664 00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:54,281 I was going to have it polished. I swear! I swear! 665 00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:58,619 I hate people I don't like. 666 00:50:09,589 --> 00:50:11,799 I feel something. 667 00:50:11,883 --> 00:50:15,386 I knew it. I felt it. I felt it in my bones. 668 00:50:15,470 --> 00:50:18,597 Lucky seven. Little lucky seven. 669 00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,766 That is seven. This is eight. 670 00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:23,102 Lucky eight. Lucky eight. 671 00:50:25,939 --> 00:50:29,400 Well, seems much too small for all that loot. 672 00:50:29,484 --> 00:50:31,485 Open it, open it. 673 00:50:35,615 --> 00:50:37,575 Empty. 674 00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:42,580 Empty. 675 00:50:42,664 --> 00:50:46,584 Somebody must have got to the jewels before us. 676 00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:49,045 Oh, there were never any jewels in this box. 677 00:50:49,129 --> 00:50:51,380 It was put in by the furniture maker. 678 00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:53,549 "One set of 12 chairs... 679 00:50:53,633 --> 00:50:56,260 "crafted for I.M. Vorobyaninov... 680 00:50:56,344 --> 00:50:58,345 by Christopher Hambs of London." 681 00:50:58,430 --> 00:51:01,974 I really thought we had them. 682 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,935 I really thought we had them. 683 00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:06,979 Next. 684 00:51:09,983 --> 00:51:12,276 What's going on here? Ah. 685 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,447 We are actors. We are members of the Columbus Repertory Theatre. 686 00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:19,950 As you can see, my dear sir, some of our chairs were broken in transit. 687 00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:22,912 We are repairing them. Misha, hand me the leg. 688 00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:24,997 Misha. Hmm? 689 00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:28,042 Oh. 690 00:51:28,126 --> 00:51:31,587 If you're actors, you'd better get up to the ship's theater. The show's starting. 691 00:51:31,671 --> 00:51:33,589 Oh, yes, of course. Of course. 692 00:51:33,673 --> 00:51:36,675 Come along, Misha. Come along. Come along. 693 00:51:42,140 --> 00:51:45,226 "The workers are dissatisfied. They intend to make a revolution. 694 00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:48,145 Is there any truth to this rumor?" 695 00:51:48,230 --> 00:51:51,524 "An uprising of peasants and workers. I have never heard anything so absurd." 696 00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:54,401 Good. Bender, the other three chairs in the hold. 697 00:51:54,486 --> 00:51:57,446 The other three chairs in the hold depend upon you, my friend. 698 00:51:57,572 --> 00:52:00,449 Hmm? If you go out on that stage and make a fool of yourself, 699 00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:04,870 you will get us thrown off this ship before you can say Nicholas and Alexandra. 700 00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:07,540 It's only a play. 701 00:52:07,624 --> 00:52:11,627 I have attended a theater before, you know. 702 00:52:11,711 --> 00:52:13,671 Ah, Krakov. 703 00:52:13,755 --> 00:52:17,633 It will be so marvelous to see that stimulating Count Krakov again. 704 00:52:17,717 --> 00:52:20,302 Oh, yes. I too have missed him. 705 00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:23,681 - Where's Krakov? - That must be Count Krakov now. 706 00:52:23,765 --> 00:52:25,766 You're on. 707 00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:32,940 Ah, Count Krakov. 708 00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:49,999 Ostap. Take me with you! 709 00:52:50,083 --> 00:52:52,084 Not a chance. 710 00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:55,921 Ostap- 711 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,340 You'll never catch up with that boat. 712 00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:02,636 I don't intend to. I'm going to take the train and meet the boat at Yalta. 713 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,272 Ostap! Ostap! 714 00:53:13,356 --> 00:53:15,608 I'm not a strong swimmer! 715 00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:19,945 I'm not a swimmer. Help! 716 00:53:26,536 --> 00:53:37,004 Vorobyaninov. 717 00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,050 Help. Help. 718 00:53:41,134 --> 00:53:43,135 Help. 719 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,981 Thank you. Thank you. 720 00:54:00,528 --> 00:54:02,780 I� 721 00:54:02,864 --> 00:54:04,823 Cold. 722 00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:06,825 It's cold. 723 00:54:12,540 --> 00:54:14,667 Here. 724 00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:21,632 Thank you. 725 00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:25,344 You're a good soul, Bender. 726 00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:28,347 A good soul. 727 00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:15,894 Mmm! This borscht is delicious, Olga. 728 00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:18,605 I love it cold! 729 00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:21,817 Why didn't you ever make it cold? 730 00:55:21,901 --> 00:55:24,570 How could I make it cold in Irkutsk? 731 00:55:24,654 --> 00:55:27,406 If we didn't eat hot things, we'd have died there. 732 00:55:28,783 --> 00:55:31,327 Smell that air. 733 00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:33,996 Smell that air! 734 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,165 Like wine. 735 00:55:36,249 --> 00:55:37,875 I know. I know. 736 00:55:37,959 --> 00:55:42,504 Every night I thank God for your transfer to Yalta. 737 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:45,466 I don't think I could have survived another winter there. 738 00:55:45,550 --> 00:55:47,468 My dear. 739 00:55:48,553 --> 00:55:51,096 My dearest dear. 740 00:55:55,894 --> 00:55:58,062 103. 741 00:55:58,146 --> 00:56:00,105 What? 742 00:56:01,733 --> 00:56:03,650 I didn't say anything. 743 00:56:05,403 --> 00:56:07,404 104. 744 00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,531 Olga? 745 00:56:15,413 --> 00:56:17,456 105. 746 00:56:20,001 --> 00:56:22,294 Good. Oh, good. 747 00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:25,047 Good. Good. 748 00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:29,676 Oh, thank you. Thank you. How very generous of you. 749 00:56:29,761 --> 00:56:32,388 You really shouldn't have done it. 750 00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:34,556 Please, go now. 751 00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,767 I never want to see you again. 752 00:56:36,851 --> 00:56:38,769 Oh, I must say good-bye to Madame Bruns. 753 00:56:38,853 --> 00:56:42,022 How can I leave without saying good-bye to Madame Bruns? 754 00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:43,482 No! 755 00:56:54,994 --> 00:56:58,288 The chairs. I don't see the chairs. 756 00:57:14,055 --> 00:57:17,015 Yes? Uh, we're still thinking. 757 00:57:24,399 --> 00:57:28,694 Sevitsky. He looks pregnant. 758 00:57:28,778 --> 00:57:31,196 Come on. Let's not lose him. 759 00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:34,366 We must see where he delivers his child. 760 00:58:14,908 --> 00:58:18,452 Ah, it's a boy. 761 00:58:38,389 --> 00:58:42,976 Comrade Sevitsky! You are under arrest for selling property belonging to the state. 762 00:58:43,102 --> 00:58:47,022 Polished. I'm having it polished. 763 00:58:47,106 --> 00:58:49,816 Oh, it's you, 764 00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,194 Count Krakov. 765 00:58:52,278 --> 00:58:54,696 Well, you've had your little joke. 766 00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:57,282 Now, if you don't mind, I'll be on my way. 767 00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:59,993 Wait a minute. I would like to talk a little business. 768 00:59:00,078 --> 00:59:01,954 Business? Yes. 769 00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:05,624 I'm interested in some chairs. Three of them, to be exact. 770 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,585 They're in your present production at the Columbus Theatre. 771 00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:12,297 Oh, yes. Walnut. Gold covers. 772 00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:16,176 I'm afraid they are already spoken for. 773 00:59:16,261 --> 00:59:19,179 Listen, scum! I want those chairs. 774 00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:22,182 Do you hear me? I want those chairs! 775 00:59:22,267 --> 00:59:24,977 You don't understand. It's quite impossible. 776 00:59:25,061 --> 00:59:28,438 I promised them to a certain individual. He's giving me 10 rubles apiece. 777 00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:31,900 Sell him something else. I want those chairs. 778 00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:34,027 Don't worry. You won't be out a kopeck. 779 00:59:34,112 --> 00:59:36,488 You will get your 30 rubles. 780 00:59:36,614 --> 00:59:38,782 Oh, my throat! When can you deliver the chairs? 781 00:59:38,908 --> 00:59:42,035 Tonight. After the performance. You'll bring them here? 782 00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,037 Yes. I'll bring them here. 783 00:59:44,122 --> 00:59:46,248 All right. 784 00:59:46,332 --> 00:59:48,417 Now, Sevitsky, please don't disappoint me. 785 00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:51,920 Because if you do, I�m afraid I�ll have to break your neck. 786 00:59:52,046 --> 00:59:54,673 A threat to the wise, hmm? All right. 787 00:59:54,757 --> 00:59:58,260 Midnight. Here on this spot. 788 00:59:58,344 --> 01:00:01,346 You bring the money, I�ll bring the chairs. 789 01:00:05,184 --> 01:00:10,314 Bender, Bender, 30 rubles? How do we raise 30 rubles? 790 01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,089 Thank you. 791 01:00:37,383 --> 01:00:39,885 Fine day for a picnic. 792 01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,888 The others should be along any minute. 793 01:00:42,972 --> 01:00:45,307 Thank you. 794 01:00:45,391 --> 01:00:48,810 Thank you and good-bye. 795 01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,521 Good-bye. Have a nice day. 796 01:00:51,606 --> 01:00:53,565 Good-bye. 797 01:00:55,234 --> 01:00:57,778 Get out of here! 798 01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:27,849 Ooh! Oh, what beautiful wood. 799 01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:31,520 What fine detail. 800 01:01:31,604 --> 01:01:35,065 Beautiful workmanship. Beautiful workmanship! 801 01:01:35,149 --> 01:01:37,401 What a gorgeous chair! 802 01:01:43,157 --> 01:01:46,118 Oh, it can't be. 803 01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:50,706 It can't be! It can't be! 804 01:01:50,790 --> 01:01:54,459 It couldn't be! 805 01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:58,630 It can't be! It can't� It can't be! 806 01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:04,803 I don't want to live. I don't want to live! 807 01:02:04,887 --> 01:02:07,848 I don't want to live! 808 01:02:07,932 --> 01:02:12,769 I don't want to live! I don't want to live! 809 01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:16,898 Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! 810 01:02:25,032 --> 01:02:27,659 Thirty rubles! Tsk, tsk, tsk. 811 01:02:52,643 --> 01:02:55,562 Of course! Of course! 812 01:03:01,861 --> 01:03:04,488 Dostoievsky. 813 01:03:04,572 --> 01:03:06,448 What? Never mind. 814 01:03:06,574 --> 01:03:08,617 Can you roll your eyes? Roll my eyes? 815 01:03:08,701 --> 01:03:11,119 Yes, roll your eyes. 816 01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:12,996 I don't know. Try it. 817 01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:19,836 Oh, that's wonderful. Born to do it. 818 01:03:19,921 --> 01:03:23,465 Now, at a given signal� Stop it. 819 01:03:23,549 --> 01:03:25,801 At a given signal from me, 820 01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:29,012 you will fall from this bench onto the ground... 821 01:03:29,096 --> 01:03:31,807 and pretend to have an epileptic fit. 822 01:03:31,891 --> 01:03:34,643 You will roll your eyes, 823 01:03:34,727 --> 01:03:37,979 you will move your arms and legs... 824 01:03:38,064 --> 01:03:40,649 in short, spastic jerks... 825 01:03:40,733 --> 01:03:44,152 and generally writhe around out of control. 826 01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:47,614 I will call attention to your pitiful state, 827 01:03:47,698 --> 01:03:52,285 and the good-hearted citizens of Yalta will shower you with coins. 828 01:03:54,121 --> 01:03:57,749 What a disgusting idea. 829 01:04:00,044 --> 01:04:03,338 What filthy taste! 830 01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:10,303 There never was and there never will be... 831 01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:14,182 a Vorobyaninov who begs! 832 01:04:18,646 --> 01:04:20,730 Parasite! 833 01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:24,317 Parasite! Parasite! 834 01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:28,071 Disgusting, helpless, inept, 835 01:04:28,155 --> 01:04:30,699 bloodsucking parasite! 836 01:04:30,783 --> 01:04:35,453 Vorobyaninovs never beg! I begged all my life! 837 01:04:51,721 --> 01:04:53,805 Now listen, old man. 838 01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:57,893 Pride is a luxury that neither you nor I can afford... 839 01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,978 at this time in our lives. 840 01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:05,317 We need 30 rubles to make our dreams come true. 841 01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:09,237 It's sink or swim. 842 01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:12,115 I choose swim. 843 01:05:12,199 --> 01:05:16,453 Now, to beg or not to beg? That is the question. 844 01:05:16,537 --> 01:05:19,539 I will give you five... 845 01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:22,042 to decide yes or no. 846 01:05:22,126 --> 01:05:25,462 On the count of five, it is farewell. 847 01:05:25,546 --> 01:05:30,300 One� Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 848 01:05:30,384 --> 01:05:32,594 Good. 849 01:05:32,678 --> 01:05:35,096 Now, do your stuff. 850 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:43,605 Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! 851 01:05:43,689 --> 01:05:48,026 A comrade, a citizen, a fellow human being... 852 01:05:48,110 --> 01:05:51,029 cries out for our attention! 853 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:54,616 Epilepsy, my friends! Epilepsy. 854 01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:58,745 The same disease that struck down our own beloved Dostoievsky. 855 01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:03,875 God knows what genius, what great works of art may be trapped... 856 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,878 in the mind of this poor, wretched soul. 857 01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:10,090 Ah, this poor man. This poor man. 858 01:06:10,174 --> 01:06:12,092 Roll your eyes! 859 01:06:12,176 --> 01:06:15,011 Yes, give! Give... 860 01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:18,473 so that this quivering, shivering, helpless victim... 861 01:06:18,557 --> 01:06:21,434 can receive desperately needed medical attention. 862 01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:24,229 Give! Give, please! 863 01:06:24,313 --> 01:06:26,982 Open your hearts. Give. Give. Give. 864 01:06:27,066 --> 01:06:29,109 Thank you. 865 01:06:30,861 --> 01:06:33,279 Please give. 866 01:06:55,761 --> 01:06:57,721 Cigarette? 867 01:06:57,805 --> 01:06:59,889 No, thank you. 868 01:06:59,974 --> 01:07:02,642 Hmm. Still angry, huh? 869 01:07:04,186 --> 01:07:08,440 When this business is over, 870 01:07:08,524 --> 01:07:13,778 I never want to see you again. 871 01:07:30,546 --> 01:07:33,798 Oh, you're here. Good. 872 01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:36,176 Yes. Won't you come in? 873 01:07:36,260 --> 01:07:38,261 Yes. 874 01:07:40,222 --> 01:07:44,100 Sorry I�m late. I had to wait till everybody left the theater. 875 01:07:44,185 --> 01:07:47,896 It was opening night, and there was a party. What can I tell you? 876 01:07:47,980 --> 01:07:52,150 You can tell me why you only brought two chairs. We made a deal for three. 877 01:07:52,276 --> 01:07:56,196 Well, yes, I tried, but� Where's the other chair? Where is the other chair? 878 01:07:56,322 --> 01:08:00,200 Do you know what I went through to raise money for those chairs? 879 01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:04,913 Shh. Come on. You're gonna ruin everything. 880 01:08:04,997 --> 01:08:08,750 What's the matter with you people? Every time we meet, you go for my throat. 881 01:08:08,834 --> 01:08:11,544 What happened to the other chair? 882 01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:14,380 There is a thief in our company. 883 01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:16,382 It's terrible. 884 01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:19,219 He sold the chair to a Finnish aerialist for 10 rubles. 885 01:08:19,303 --> 01:08:21,721 A Finnish aerialist? 886 01:08:21,806 --> 01:08:25,725 Yes. He works at the fair, just outside of town. 887 01:08:25,851 --> 01:08:28,812 Can I have my 30 rubles now, please? Twenty! 888 01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:31,981 Y-Y-Yes. Sorry. Twenty. 889 01:08:32,108 --> 01:08:35,193 Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. 890 01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:37,237 Shh. Shh. Shh. 891 01:08:37,321 --> 01:08:40,698 - Again the throat. - Here. Here's your money. 892 01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:44,494 Twenty. Thank you. 893 01:08:44,578 --> 01:08:48,289 Tell me, why are you so interested in these chairs? 894 01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:51,709 - Shut up. - Oh. That's the reason. 895 01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,795 Bye. 896 01:09:21,782 --> 01:09:23,783 Well, 897 01:09:23,868 --> 01:09:26,244 don't give up, old friend. 898 01:09:26,328 --> 01:09:29,205 Remember the famous 899 01:09:29,290 --> 01:09:32,917 "The hungrier you get, the tastier the meal." 900 01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:36,087 On the other hand, 901 01:09:36,172 --> 01:09:39,340 Merde! 902 01:09:41,051 --> 01:09:44,679 Thy love will banish sorrow 903 01:09:44,763 --> 01:09:49,309 Thy love shall cleanse my grief 904 01:09:49,393 --> 01:09:54,147 The sun will shine tomorrow 905 01:09:54,231 --> 01:09:59,861 My a-a-a-a-anguish 906 01:09:59,945 --> 01:10:02,906 Will be brief 907 01:10:02,990 --> 01:10:06,951 Oh, foolish man. 908 01:10:07,036 --> 01:10:09,746 Foolish, foolish man that I am. 909 01:10:09,830 --> 01:10:13,958 I must not weep. I must count my blessings. 910 01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:16,252 My blessings. 911 01:10:23,969 --> 01:10:26,137 I don't want to live! 912 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:33,144 Ooh. 913 01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:36,064 Ooh-ooh-ooh! 914 01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:42,445 Thy love shall banish sorrow 915 01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:47,242 Thy love shall cleanse my grief 916 01:11:02,341 --> 01:11:04,676 The chair! 917 01:11:17,898 --> 01:11:20,233 Come down, you thief! 918 01:11:20,317 --> 01:11:22,568 Come down here this instant! 919 01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:25,113 That's my chair! Do you hear me? 920 01:11:25,197 --> 01:11:27,782 My chair! 921 01:11:30,494 --> 01:11:34,080 Listen, you! That's my chair! 922 01:11:34,164 --> 01:11:38,459 Get down, you fool! Get down! You'll kill us both! 923 01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:44,799 I want that chair. Give me that chair! 924 01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:31,888 Oh, Lord. 925 01:12:31,972 --> 01:12:35,516 Oh, Lord, your lamb is lost. 926 01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:39,896 Please help me. Oh, please help me, Lord. 927 01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:42,148 Thank you. 928 01:12:56,163 --> 01:12:58,998 It's mine! Do you hear? Mine! Mine! Mine! 929 01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:01,000 Mine! Mine! 930 01:13:01,085 --> 01:13:04,337 Very nice. Very nice, indeed. 931 01:13:04,421 --> 01:13:06,381 A partner in the firm... 932 01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:09,467 running off with the company's assets! 933 01:13:13,472 --> 01:13:15,723 So you wanna play horsey, huh? 934 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:19,143 Mine! Mine! Mine! 935 01:13:26,443 --> 01:13:28,694 Father Fyodor! 936 01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:59,559 - Need a hand, mon p�re? - Oh, come on, God! 937 01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:19,412 The chairman of the board. 938 01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:22,623 Where is he? Yah, yah, yah! 939 01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:28,921 Yah, yah, yah! 940 01:14:29,006 --> 01:14:32,884 Ah, hate! Hate! Hate! 941 01:14:35,220 --> 01:14:37,305 God sees. God sees all. 942 01:14:37,389 --> 01:14:39,640 Why do you think he gave me the strength... 943 01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:42,935 to climb straight up a mountain wall and deny the same to you? 944 01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,272 There must be some reason. Yah-dee-tah-tah! 945 01:14:46,356 --> 01:14:48,858 Oh, God, how I hate him! 946 01:14:48,942 --> 01:14:51,944 He mustn't get away! He mustn't get away! 947 01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:54,989 He mustn't get� Mustn't get away. Mustn't get away. 948 01:14:55,073 --> 01:14:58,034 Fear not, my dear marshal. 949 01:14:58,118 --> 01:15:00,328 He will not get away. 950 01:15:00,412 --> 01:15:02,788 As a matter of fact, he can't get away. 951 01:15:02,873 --> 01:15:06,167 There's no way down. Come on. I'll show you. Come on. 952 01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:13,508 See? No way down. 953 01:15:16,720 --> 01:15:20,014 There's no way down. 954 01:15:20,098 --> 01:15:22,934 He can't get down. He's trapped. 955 01:15:23,018 --> 01:15:26,020 He's trapped. You're trapped! 956 01:15:26,104 --> 01:15:29,190 You're tra-a-a-apped! Yah, yah, yah! 957 01:15:29,316 --> 01:15:32,026 Yah, yah, yah! Yah, yah, yah! 958 01:15:32,110 --> 01:15:35,488 Yah, yah, yah, yah� 959 01:15:45,624 --> 01:15:48,584 Ah. It stopped raining. 960 01:15:50,087 --> 01:15:54,257 It's very quiet. What do you suppose he's doing? 961 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:57,718 Do you think he found the jewels? 962 01:15:57,803 --> 01:16:01,055 Shh, shh, shh. In a moment, 963 01:16:01,139 --> 01:16:03,766 the jury will bring in a verdict. 964 01:16:05,185 --> 01:16:09,647 Oh, Lord, you're so strict! Oh! 965 01:16:11,775 --> 01:16:14,527 Well, the last chair is in Moscow. 966 01:16:17,489 --> 01:16:20,741 Only 3,000 miles away. 967 01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:24,996 Come, my friend. Let us take a stroll. 968 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:27,707 Oh, Lord! 969 01:16:27,791 --> 01:16:31,502 Oh, Lord, if this is your pun... 970 01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:35,965 ...ishment. 971 01:16:39,511 --> 01:16:41,971 How did I get here? 972 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,937 There's no way down. 973 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:52,523 There's absolutely no way down. 974 01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:56,819 I'm gonna need a great deal of help to get down. 975 01:17:01,241 --> 01:17:03,534 Boys! 976 01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,244 Oh, boys! 977 01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:10,291 Yoo-hoo! Vorobyaninov! 978 01:17:10,375 --> 01:17:13,753 I have always liked you. You know that. 979 01:17:13,837 --> 01:17:17,298 We come from the same village. 980 01:17:17,382 --> 01:17:22,094 For 25 years, I have been your priest. 981 01:17:22,179 --> 01:17:25,640 Oh, for Christ's sake, get me down! 982 01:17:31,104 --> 01:17:35,941 Get... me... down! 983 01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:54,663 I'm hungry. Where did you lose the man with the chair? 984 01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:57,792 Look around. Does anything look familiar? 985 01:20:02,214 --> 01:20:05,382 "The international"] All right. Come on. 986 01:20:20,232 --> 01:20:23,150 I now officially open... 987 01:20:23,235 --> 01:20:26,320 the Moscow Railway Workers'... 988 01:20:26,404 --> 01:20:30,491 Communal House of Recreation. 989 01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:54,557 May it serve to comfort... 990 01:20:54,641 --> 01:20:58,352 those brave heroes of Soviet transportation, 991 01:20:58,436 --> 01:21:02,356 the railway workers of the U.S.S.R.! 992 01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:11,949 A free buffet lunch will be served immediately. 993 01:21:24,212 --> 01:21:27,214 Come on! Come on! There's other people waiting. 994 01:21:29,634 --> 01:21:31,635 Let's go! Let's go! 995 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,680 Come on! Come on! 996 01:21:37,517 --> 01:21:40,060 What are you doing? Go on! 997 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,815 I didn't get a roll. 998 01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,901 Come on. I didn't get a roll! 999 01:22:05,545 --> 01:22:07,504 Here. 1000 01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:29,234 Would you mind very much if I took something from your plate? 1001 01:22:29,319 --> 01:22:31,278 I didn't get a chance to get any food. 1002 01:22:31,363 --> 01:22:33,489 There was a greedy pig holding up the line. 1003 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:39,161 Animal. 1004 01:22:47,003 --> 01:22:49,380 Thirsty. 1005 01:23:23,873 --> 01:23:26,667 Ostap. Ostap! 1006 01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:29,586 Yes, old man. 1007 01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:33,007 The last chair. 1008 01:23:44,436 --> 01:23:48,522 See! We are not the only smart ones. 1009 01:23:48,648 --> 01:23:52,276 Hello, comrades! Hello. 1010 01:23:53,945 --> 01:23:56,447 Hello, comrades. Welcome. 1011 01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,870 Maman! 1012 01:24:05,248 --> 01:24:06,790 Eat. 1013 01:24:10,712 --> 01:24:13,255 Take your eyes off that chair. 1014 01:24:13,339 --> 01:24:15,299 I'm gonna check the window. 1015 01:24:25,643 --> 01:24:27,603 Mm-hmm. 1016 01:24:41,534 --> 01:24:44,369 I have unfastened the window latch, 1017 01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:48,540 and we will return tonight after the club has closed. 1018 01:24:54,047 --> 01:24:56,006 Shh. 1019 01:25:19,864 --> 01:25:22,699 One, two, three! 1020 01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:26,328 Come on. 1021 01:25:26,412 --> 01:25:28,580 Come on! 1022 01:25:39,968 --> 01:25:43,220 Chair. Where is the chair? You're sitting on it. 1023 01:25:43,304 --> 01:25:46,390 Here. Come on. Let me do it. Let me do it! 1024 01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:05,742 Well? Well, well, well, well? 1025 01:26:08,121 --> 01:26:09,872 They're not here. 1026 01:26:10,915 --> 01:26:12,332 What? 1027 01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:15,210 They're not here. 1028 01:26:15,295 --> 01:26:18,589 The jewels are not here. 1029 01:26:20,508 --> 01:26:24,261 It can't be. It can't be. 1030 01:26:24,345 --> 01:26:26,388 It can't be. Do you hear me? 1031 01:26:26,472 --> 01:26:29,016 It can't be! 1032 01:26:31,769 --> 01:26:34,229 What's going on here? 1033 01:26:36,107 --> 01:26:38,025 What are you doing? 1034 01:26:38,109 --> 01:26:42,237 Where are my jewels? My jewels were in this chair. 1035 01:26:42,322 --> 01:26:45,407 They were your jewels? 1036 01:26:45,491 --> 01:26:49,077 What do you mean "were"? They are. 1037 01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:52,039 Are my jewels. Where are they? 1038 01:26:52,123 --> 01:26:55,209 Where are they? Look around you. 1039 01:26:55,293 --> 01:26:59,421 See these chess tables, all this fine furniture? 1040 01:26:59,505 --> 01:27:01,548 This club was built with them. 1041 01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:03,884 When were they found? 1042 01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:08,222 Four months ago. Right on this spot in the old club. 1043 01:27:08,306 --> 01:27:11,058 Kaminsky was putting up a curtain. 1044 01:27:11,142 --> 01:27:13,393 He was standing on a chair. 1045 01:27:13,478 --> 01:27:16,939 Suddenly, bang, his shoe went right through the seat, 1046 01:27:17,023 --> 01:27:19,316 and all that stuff came tumbling out� 1047 01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:23,153 diamonds, rubies, necklaces. 1048 01:27:24,197 --> 01:27:26,490 It was a miracle. 1049 01:27:27,825 --> 01:27:29,326 No, no. 1050 01:27:30,328 --> 01:27:32,287 They were mine. 1051 01:27:33,289 --> 01:27:35,290 Mine. 1052 01:27:47,428 --> 01:27:50,889 I'd better get the police! 1053 01:27:50,974 --> 01:27:53,141 Help! Police! Help! 1054 01:28:00,483 --> 01:28:03,777 See? See? He's mad! You! Put that down! 1055 01:28:03,861 --> 01:28:08,240 Oh, you wanna play rough, eh? 1056 01:28:08,324 --> 01:28:10,325 That has done it. 1057 01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:14,621 Come on. We better make tracks. 1058 01:28:14,706 --> 01:28:16,623 Never hit a policeman. 1059 01:28:16,708 --> 01:28:19,751 Never, ever hit a policeman. 1060 01:28:40,106 --> 01:28:41,898 Halt! 1061 01:28:41,983 --> 01:28:43,859 It's too high. The horse! 1062 01:28:43,985 --> 01:28:45,402 The horse? Jump! 1063 01:28:46,195 --> 01:28:48,530 - Come on. - Halt! 1064 01:28:48,614 --> 01:28:51,158 - Come on! - Halt! Halt! 1065 01:30:26,254 --> 01:30:28,588 Why don't you get rid of that thing? 1066 01:30:34,220 --> 01:30:36,179 Listen, old man. 1067 01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:40,434 We have got to split up. 1068 01:30:42,854 --> 01:30:45,480 It's the only sensible thing to do. 1069 01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:48,567 The police are looking for a handsome, young desperado... 1070 01:30:48,651 --> 01:30:51,486 and a crazy old man with a broken chair. 1071 01:30:52,530 --> 01:30:54,531 I think I'll do better without you. 1072 01:30:56,534 --> 01:30:59,244 Look, what are you shaking your head for? 1073 01:30:59,328 --> 01:31:02,289 I'm not taking a vote. I'm telling you something. 1074 01:31:02,373 --> 01:31:05,250 This partnership is over, dissolved, finished. 1075 01:31:05,334 --> 01:31:07,919 The company is bankrupt. 1076 01:31:10,047 --> 01:31:11,965 Look. 1077 01:31:12,049 --> 01:31:14,718 Here. Look, you maniac. 1078 01:31:14,802 --> 01:31:16,720 Three kopecks! 1079 01:31:16,804 --> 01:31:19,347 How far can we go together on three kopecks? 1080 01:31:20,391 --> 01:31:23,852 I simply can't afford you anymore! 1081 01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:41,680 Epilepsy, my friends! Epilepsy! 1082 01:32:41,764 --> 01:32:44,891 The same disease that struck down... 1083 01:32:44,976 --> 01:32:47,686 our own beloved Dostoievsky. 1084 01:32:47,770 --> 01:32:50,230 Give. 1085 01:32:50,314 --> 01:32:52,566 Give... 1086 01:32:52,650 --> 01:32:56,611 from the bottom of your hearts.