1 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,095 Becker's here. 2 00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:36,701 You know what I like about this place? 3 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,003 Any time I walk in, there's always a seat. 4 00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,005 Morning, John. 5 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,106 Yeah, you know-- 6 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,108 You know what's killing this country? 7 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,845 Those idiotic TV talk shows. 8 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,079 You know, I watched one last night. 9 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,715 I should have just stuck a fork in my eye. 10 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,351 You know, it's like America stepped in something 11 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,888 and is scraping off its shoe directly over my TV set. 12 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,758 I'm telling you, Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, 13 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,994 they're all broadcasting straight from hell. 14 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,995 You know, I watched one the other day. 15 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:06,698 I don't even know what the hell it was. 16 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,667 Apparently, some guy wanted to be a woman, 17 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,569 so he chops it off. 18 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,870 Then he decides he likes chicks after all, 19 00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:14,872 so he becomes a lesbian. 20 00:01:16,308 --> 00:01:19,577 Tell me there's not a wasted step in there somewhere. 21 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,916 You know, Becker, you could have changed the channel. 22 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:25,984 I did. 23 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,385 I ran across a bisexual guy 24 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:30,087 having a three-way with his aunt and his uncle. 25 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,192 I tell you, if I were his dog, I'd be on my toes. 26 00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:38,964 Well, here's a wacky idea: turn it off. 27 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:39,865 Don't you get it, Reggie? 28 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,667 He leaves the TV on so he can get upset. 29 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,903 Hey, nobody called on you. 30 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,004 It doesn't matter if you turn the set off. 31 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:48,906 The people are still in there. 32 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,175 Frankly, I like knowing exactly what they're up to. 33 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,544 Trust me on this one. 34 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,112 White trash; it's the only natural resource 35 00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,649 this country will never run out of. 36 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,719 You're really a miserable human being. 37 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,220 Doesn't mean I'm not right. 38 00:02:04,223 --> 00:02:08,226 You know something? I'm sorry your father died. 39 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,827 You know, when he was running this place, 40 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,997 he was a lot nicer to me than you are. 41 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,666 My father was hard of hearing. 42 00:02:16,134 --> 00:02:17,936 Just give me one of my cigarettes, will ya? 43 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,103 Why don't you get a nicotine patch 44 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,772 like the rest of the world? 45 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,508 I tried one. They're too hard to light. 46 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,542 Jake? 47 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:25,876 Yeah. 48 00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:27,545 You don't want people to know you're blind, 49 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,581 you might wanna stare into that shiny metal part 50 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,749 instead of directly at the napkin. 51 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,223 Oh. Damn! Right. 52 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,126 So, uh, John, how much will you pay me 53 00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:43,595 not to go down to your office 54 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,097 and tell Margaret you're still sneaking cigarettes, huh? 55 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,165 How much will you pay me 56 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,135 not to paint your white cane brown? 57 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,369 You know, if you ever pick up a handicap, 58 00:02:52,371 --> 00:02:54,839 I'm gonna be all over you. 59 00:02:56,642 --> 00:03:00,312 All right, John, I'll see you tomorrow. 60 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,247 And, Reggie, I'll see you for lunch. 61 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,115 Okay, Jake, have a nice day. 62 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,116 Yeah, well, I'd better hurry 63 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,384 if I'm gonna get where I need to go. 64 00:03:11,123 --> 00:03:12,190 Phew! 65 00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:16,761 Hey, John, you're killing me here. 66 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,662 Why don't you park that smelly, oil-burning 67 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,265 heap of yours down the street, huh? 68 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,934 You're just jealous, Jake, that you can't drive it. 69 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,569 Looks like he already did. 70 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:30,575 You know something? You both can go to hell. 71 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,043 Now, if you'll excuse me, 72 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,947 it's time for me to go heal the sick and comfort the dying. 73 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,115 So, what do you think, 74 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,050 that stethoscope is gonna stop people from seeing 75 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,987 the stains on your shirt and the stubble on your face? 76 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,921 The not-shaving is a look. 77 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,491 I saw it in a cologne ad. 78 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,025 As far as the clothes, what's the point? 79 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:50,161 I can almost guarantee you by the end of the day 80 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,197 some kid will have thrown up on me. 81 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,033 Well, then, it's true what they say. 82 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,802 Kids are wonderful judges of character. 83 00:03:59,104 --> 00:04:00,671 Bite me. 84 00:04:04,609 --> 00:04:08,713 You sure he's really a doctor? I mean, he's such an ass. 85 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:12,016 He's not just a doctor, he's a brilliant one. 86 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,118 As far as I can tell, that's his only flaw. 87 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,220 Otherwise, he'd be a perfect ass. 88 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,436 I know, I know, I know, I'm late. 89 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:37,174 You're late! And you forgot to shave. 90 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,843 No, I didn't. It's a look. 91 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,779 Well, it's not a good look. 92 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,948 And you've been smoking. I can smell it. 93 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,082 That's not true, Margaret. 94 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,919 It was Jake down at the newsstand. 95 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:48,986 He blew it all over me. 96 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:52,157 What was I gonna do, yell at a blind guy? 97 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,993 John Becker, you're a damn liar. 98 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,829 Mrs. Zellman's in 1. Oh, perfect. 99 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:01,032 How's she doing today? All hands on deck? 100 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,300 Well, she remembered her teeth. 101 00:05:04,870 --> 00:05:06,838 Well, thank God for that. 102 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,973 Otherwise, it's like talking to a sock puppet. 103 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,043 Whoa, get back. Back, back, back, back, back. 104 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,245 Mr. Capelli's waiting in 2. Yeah. 105 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,081 Marvin Johnson is in your office. 106 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,682 You wanna tell me why they're here, please? 107 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,717 Not especially. That's why I gave you their charts. 108 00:05:22,287 --> 00:05:27,024 Aw, jeez! Mrs. Zellman, put your clothes back on! 109 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,993 You're here about an eye infection. 110 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,997 Serves you right for being late. 111 00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,701 Hey, doc, how you doing? 112 00:05:40,071 --> 00:05:41,973 What? 113 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,675 That diet I put you on. 114 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,977 The one you asked me for. Right. 115 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,680 Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. 116 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,316 You have to do more than just read the piece of paper. 117 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,285 You've gained six pounds. 118 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,853 You sure about that, doc? 119 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,623 'Cause, you know, this sweater is pretty bulky. 120 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,392 Yeah, right. It's the sweater. 121 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:02,627 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 122 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,662 I'm gonna stand way over here, 123 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,432 and I'm gonna give you my diagnosis, free of charge. 124 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,800 Your blood pressure's too high, 125 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,602 your cholesterol's through the roof, 126 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,303 and your legs are killing you. 127 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,371 But then why wouldn't they be? 128 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,673 Look what they're trying to hold up. 129 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,041 Geez, doc, I kind of thought that-- 130 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,409 Kind of thought what? 131 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,744 That I'd give you a pat on that continent 132 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,179 you call a butt? 133 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,281 Tell you everything's gonna be fine and send you home? 134 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,950 Whoa, whoa, aren't doctors supposed to be nice? 135 00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:29,086 Check out the Hippocratic Oath. It doesn't mention nice. 136 00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:32,423 Look, Mr. Capelli, I like you. 137 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:35,659 More importantly, your wife and your kids probably love you. 138 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,261 So if you care about them at all, 139 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,297 or, hell, if you just care about yourself, 140 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,066 I want you to remember this one word: 141 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,701 salad. 142 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:50,041 Hey, you can do this. 143 00:06:52,844 --> 00:06:54,312 Morning, doctor. 144 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,481 Ah, yeah, good morning...? 145 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,482 Linda. 146 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,616 Right, right. 147 00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,451 I knew it was something weird like that. 148 00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:04,856 I know you said never to talk to you 149 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,758 unless it was absolutely necessary-- Right. 150 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,092 --but I-I just wanna say thanks a lot 151 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,394 for making me a nurse's aide. 152 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,963 I never thought I'd be a professional anything. 153 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,965 And this is way better 154 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,700 than sweeping up hair at a beauty salon. 155 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,735 Although the fumes from those hair dyes 156 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,804 can give you a pretty good buzz. 157 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:20,638 You know-- 158 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,972 You know, this one time, I had a-- 159 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,008 If you shut your mouth, 160 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,145 it keeps the words from just falling out like that. 161 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,747 I know. I know, I talk too much, and I'm working on that. 162 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:33,051 But you just don't know what it's like in here. 163 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,054 All these thoughts keep flying around, and... 164 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,424 I'm sensing a little hostility. 165 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,725 Go with that. 166 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:41,960 You mean--? I mean go. 167 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,693 Yeah. 168 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,533 Hey, doc? 169 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,868 Yeah? 170 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,471 What's this? 171 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,406 Uh...that's called an ovary. 172 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:58,810 Don't worry about it. You don't have one. 173 00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:01,880 Where's your mother? 174 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,814 She had to work, but my brother brought me. 175 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,016 Should I get him? 176 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,150 No, no, that's all right. 177 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,553 You and I can have a little talk right here. 178 00:08:12,224 --> 00:08:13,491 So, what's the deal? 179 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,495 Well, M.J., the deal kind of stinks. 180 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,866 Remember last week how we talked about good and bad blood cells? 181 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:22,766 Yeah. 182 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:25,436 Well, the bad guys are-- Are winning. 183 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,639 You mean, my T cells are down again? 184 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,408 Boy, you're getting the hang of this, aren't you? 185 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,243 Uh, yes, they are, but I, uh-- 186 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,844 I don't want you to worry about it, 187 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,047 'cause I'm gonna try to come up with something new for you. 188 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,815 I could use a new bike. 189 00:08:39,384 --> 00:08:41,185 Nice try. 190 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,954 Um... 191 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,990 Okay, next week I want you to... 192 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,159 Oh, hell, you know the drill, don't you? 193 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,293 Yeah. Yeah. 194 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,397 Are you okay? You don't look so good. 195 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,234 No, I'm fine. Thank you. 196 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,535 Are you smoking again? 197 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,636 Oh! 198 00:09:00,572 --> 00:09:05,276 Yeah, I'm-- I'm, uh-- I'm trying to quit. It's just... 199 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,911 Hey, do me a favor, will you? 200 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,679 Please, don't-- Don't tell Margaret. 201 00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:13,451 Oh, yeah. All right, what--? What are we talking? 202 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,353 Candy or cash? 203 00:09:52,524 --> 00:09:54,926 Hey, foreign guy! 204 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,161 Do we have to go through this every night? 205 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,464 Just finish killing your cat and go to sleep! 206 00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:05,269 Turn it off, or I call Immigration! 207 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:30,628 Dr. Kagan, please. 208 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,364 "Whom may I say is calling?" 209 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,199 Hey, just drop the Harvard attitude 210 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,967 and tell him it's an old friend. 211 00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,042 Lee, hey, it's Becker. 212 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,811 Uh, I know it's been a long time since I-- 213 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,779 No, no, don't hang up. Just-- 214 00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:52,884 I have no idea how your ex-wife is. 215 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:56,521 As of a year ago, she's my ex-wife too. 216 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,689 Yes, really. 217 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:02,292 Yeah, well, screw you too, you Ivy League quack. 218 00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:05,063 Hey, can you do me a favor? 219 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,465 Yeah, I've got a kind of tricky case here. 220 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,966 Yes, yes, me. 221 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,968 I got a-- 222 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:14,638 I got an HIV-positive 7-year-old. 223 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,207 Uh, transfusion. 224 00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:19,710 Yeah, the ice under this kid's getting pretty thin. 225 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,113 Look, I-- I-I'm afraid that I maybe missed something. 226 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,949 You know, some new treatment, some-- Some drug. 227 00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,985 M-maybe there's a program you could, uh, get him into? 228 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,989 Do me a favor, let me just fax-- Fax this chart to you, will you? 229 00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,158 Oh, come on, you owe me. 230 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,495 If I hadn't met your wife, you'd still be married to her. 231 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,533 You're welcome. 232 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,770 Yeah, please. Thank you. 233 00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:49,173 And get-- And get back to me quick, will ya? 234 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,143 I wanna make sure this kid gets to his next birthday. 235 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,210 Yeah. 236 00:12:04,789 --> 00:12:07,258 Hey, man. Spare change? 237 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,959 You mean extra change? 238 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,630 Money that if you weren't here, I'd just throw away? 239 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,698 Uh... 240 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,967 No, man. Spare change. 241 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,435 Oh, like a spare tire. 242 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:21,272 For when something goes wrong with my regular change? 243 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,374 O-oh, no. You're that doctor 244 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,275 from over on Lester Avenue, aren't you? 245 00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:28,112 Forget it. I don't need this. 246 00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,784 Your reputation's growing, John. 247 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,586 These-- These car ads are such a crock. 248 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,688 You can't even buy a used car anymore. 249 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,189 They're all "previously owned", you know. 250 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,692 "Formerly experienced." "Well-serviced." 251 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,060 If I added the word slut, 252 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,662 you could be talking about my ex-wife. 253 00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,498 You were married? 254 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:51,803 Yeah. Why? 255 00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:57,341 Who would--? I mean, why would--? 256 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,410 So, what kind of car are you looking for? 257 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:02,980 Basic transportation. 258 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:05,082 Something to get me from here to there. 259 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,384 Get a bicycle. 260 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,553 Uh-oh. What?! 261 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:12,223 They're inexpensive, great exercise and pollution-free. 262 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,524 Oh, yeah. That's just what I wanna be: 263 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,793 another schmuck riding down the street 264 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,194 with a little bell and a stupid helmet, 265 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,829 trying to save the environment. 266 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,397 Like my little two-wheeler's 267 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,765 gonna make a difference in a city 268 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:25,202 with 50 million cabs belching out toxic smoke. 269 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,872 Oh, little Timmy can't breathe, but don't worry, 270 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,673 Becker's riding a bike. 271 00:13:32,343 --> 00:13:33,811 I tried to warn you. 272 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,946 I swear, Becker, if you're not talking medicine, 273 00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,115 you're, like, just an idiot. 274 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,485 I think she likes you. 275 00:13:42,921 --> 00:13:44,355 You know, just 'cause you're blind 276 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,623 doesn't mean you have some sixth sense about these things. 277 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,159 It just means you're blind. 278 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,440 So, Linda, just curious. 279 00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:05,209 How long have you had the nipple ring? 280 00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:10,147 Uh, gee, what makes you think I even do? 281 00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:18,089 See, I-I-I just wondered what it would look like. 282 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,789 It looks like that. 283 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:22,026 That machine is not a toy. 284 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,294 If you keep x-raying your breasts, 285 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:25,529 you're gonna grow a third one. 286 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,964 Would you like that? 287 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,800 I've got all the trouble I can handle with these two. 288 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,404 Hello, doctor. 289 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,638 Uh, hello...? 290 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,741 Linda. Right. 291 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,976 Did my, uh, friend from Harvard Med call back yet? 292 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,544 No, not yet. 293 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,346 All right, uh, get M.J.'s mom on the phone. 294 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,814 See how he's doing, will you, please? 295 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,349 And then would you, uh--? 296 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:48,152 Would you mind draining Mrs. Salazar's boil? 297 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,087 What did I do? 298 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,254 Nothing. 299 00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:52,856 I-I just found a car I'm interested in, 300 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:54,358 and I wanna go check it out. 301 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,927 Oh, finally. 302 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,361 The only downside 303 00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:00,064 is dealing with those parasitic car salesmen. 304 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,667 I tell you, if there's one form of life on this planet-- 305 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,368 Don't you start. 306 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,770 If you're trying to get me to choose 307 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,371 between another one of your tirades 308 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,339 and Mrs. Salazar's infected behind, 309 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,108 I'll take the butt. 310 00:15:18,015 --> 00:15:21,986 No, no! No more lies, Phil! We're over! 311 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:23,587 You can go straight to hell! 312 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:37,168 Hi, I'm Beverly Stone. Can I help you? 313 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,571 Uh, yeah. Hello. 314 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,307 Now let's let that do it for the pleasantries, shall we? 315 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,609 Now before we get started, let me say something. 316 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,612 I know all the gimmicks, all the angles. 317 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,481 There isn't anything you could say to me 318 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,416 that I haven't heard before. 319 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,351 I've been sleeping with the manager of this place, 320 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,986 and I just now found out that he's married. 321 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:57,354 In order to get even with him, 322 00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,089 I'm prepared to give you a deal on this car 323 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:00,858 that you won't believe. 324 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,430 Well, I haven't heard that one. 325 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,968 What do you think? 326 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,870 Think I'm an idiot. Think I'm gonna fall for that? 327 00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,672 Sticker says 18-five. 328 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,309 I'll give you 16, not a penny more. 329 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:22,079 He told me he loved me. You can go lower. 330 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,984 You--? You want me to pay less? 331 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,119 Yes, I really wanna hurt him. 332 00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:33,758 What do you mean? Like 15-five? 333 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,027 We were talking about having kids. 334 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,361 Fourteen? 335 00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,196 Thirteen. Sold. 336 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,965 No, no, no, wait a second. Wait a minute. 337 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:44,101 Just... Let... 338 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,203 I'm not saying yes. 339 00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:51,075 But if I did, would you, uh, throw in a new set of tires? 340 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,276 Absolutely. 341 00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:54,978 Oh, wait a minute. 342 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:58,015 All right, all right, what's wrong with the car? 343 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:58,915 Nothing. 344 00:16:58,917 --> 00:16:59,849 Come on, what is it? 345 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,885 What, is, uh, the engine block cracked? 346 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,387 There is no engine? 347 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,523 Was it a cab in Mexico City? 348 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,490 Come on, what is it? 349 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,891 There's nothing wrong with the car! 350 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:12,096 He broke my heart. 351 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:12,996 Oh, no, don't-- 352 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,869 Th-- This is not working. 353 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,139 Can I talk to a man salesman, please? 354 00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,088 Okay. 355 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:41,191 I got the latest lab work in. 356 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,826 And to tell you the truth, 357 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:46,697 M.J.'s numbers are not quite as good as I was hoping for. 358 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,800 Maybe they're wrong, 'cause I feel pretty good. 359 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:54,271 M.J., honey, why don't you--? I know. 360 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,206 You guys wanna talk about me. 361 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,942 So I'll go out and talk to that new girl. 362 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,678 She's weird. 363 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:03,546 I like that in a woman. 364 00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:06,884 Now, M.J., don't be rude. 365 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,920 He's right. She is weird. 366 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,724 Mrs. Johnson, I have to be honest with you. 367 00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:18,863 M.J. needs better care than I can give him. 368 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:23,868 He needs a cutting-edge program, the newest treatments. 369 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,269 We don't have that kind of money. 370 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,637 Nobody does. 371 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,938 That's why hospitals name buildings after rich people. 372 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,641 Don't worry about it. There are ways. 373 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,110 But where will I find a program like that? 374 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,145 I already have. A friend of mine-- 375 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,614 Actually, he's, uh-- He's not really a friend. 376 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:41,051 It's more like we share custody of an ex-wife. 377 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,921 Anyway, uh, h-he's recommended 378 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,789 a program downtown at Mount Sinai, 379 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,625 and I really think that we should give it a try. 380 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,927 Now, I know that you work, so if you can't take him, 381 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:53,096 I thought maybe that I-- 382 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:57,300 Well, uh, you know, maybe somebody from this office 383 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,569 could take him down. 384 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,003 And I promise not, uh... 385 00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,672 Linda? Right, Linda. 386 00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:08,345 Jesus blessed us when he sent M.J. to you. 387 00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,347 Yeah. Jesus, right. 388 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:11,982 Uh, if you're gonna talk to him, 389 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,717 you might wanna leave my name out of it. 390 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,453 We don't exactly have a great working relationship. 391 00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,155 You gotta admit that if he's really 392 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,558 sitting up there, uh, watching us, 393 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,626 I think he fell asleep at the wheel, you know? 394 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,829 I mean, how else could you explain how a disease like this 395 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,931 could slip through the cracks, let alone--? 396 00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:34,738 Sorry. 397 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,675 Obviously, I have a little work to do in the faith department, 398 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:41,044 so why don't I just, uh, say amen and shut up? 399 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:44,114 Thank you, doctor. 400 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:47,751 You just may go to heaven whether you like it or not. 401 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,786 Thanks, that's the first time 402 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:54,191 anyone's ever suggested I go in that direction. 403 00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,875 Oh, John, your accountant just called. 404 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,577 He said to tell you that he transferred the money 405 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,579 into your checking account for the new car. 406 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:18,281 Uh, you know, I changed my mind about the car. 407 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,250 Ahem. I couldn't make a deal. 408 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,720 I knew it was too good to be true. 409 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,990 All right, I'll tell him to transfer the money back. 410 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,625 No, don't do that. Uh, just keep it in checking. 411 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,794 I've got some expenses coming up. 412 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,096 What expenses? 413 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,131 Just stuff, okay? 414 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,332 Don't worry about it. 415 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,667 Okay, fine. 416 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,470 Oh, I forgot to tell you. M.J.'s all squared away. 417 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,104 But there seems to be some mistake. 418 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:42,439 The hospital said that they would 419 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:44,642 contact you personally for payment. 420 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,809 Is that what--? Yeah, that's-- That's okay. 421 00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:49,246 Uh, thank you. See you Monday. 422 00:21:01,192 --> 00:21:02,793 Hello, Reg. 423 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,394 I'll have a club sandwich, 424 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:07,298 French fries and a cup of coffee. 425 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,534 No, make that a milkshake. Chocolate. 426 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:13,771 Do you have any of that pie left over from yesterday? 427 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,873 Oh, hi, Becker. It's you. 428 00:21:20,578 --> 00:21:22,346 I'm not getting my dinner, am I? 429 00:21:23,648 --> 00:21:25,149 I have a date. 430 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:29,787 Well, this isn't right. Who goes out on a Friday night? 431 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,255 Look, Becker, he's gonna be here any minute, 432 00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:36,960 and I don't wanna waste the first two hours explaining you. 433 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,263 Who is this guy? Wh-what's he do? 434 00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:41,364 Why do you care? 435 00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,432 I don't. I-- 436 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:43,934 You know, forget it. 437 00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:47,171 Okay, well, if you must know. 438 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,372 He's a dentist. 439 00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:50,207 A dentist? 440 00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,374 You're going out with a guy 441 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,110 who couldn't even get into medical school? 442 00:21:55,412 --> 00:21:56,747 Good night, Becker. 443 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,148 All right, all right. 444 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,016 I'm not being fair. 445 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,418 Uh, you and your dentist go have a wonderful dinner, 446 00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:06,055 and I'll-- Let me just grab one of my smokes. 447 00:22:06,057 --> 00:22:10,794 You know, when you came in, you sounded...different. 448 00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:12,696 Almost, I don't know, happy. 449 00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,064 Happy? Well, for you. 450 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,299 No, no, no, no. 451 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:18,935 No, just end of the week, that's all. 452 00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:22,505 Well, have a good time. Don't forget to floss. 453 00:22:28,879 --> 00:22:31,814 Would it have killed you to say something about the dress?