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Last season.

2
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I'm George Lopez.

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What are you doing out here in the dark?

4
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I just got my letter from Northern
Vermont.

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Well, Lindsay, there is something I have
to ask you.

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George, call me.

7
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I just went through Mel and Jack's desk.
They're moving the company to Mexico.

8
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Are you George Lopez?

9
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Uh, yeah.

10
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We're looking for your mother. Do you
know where she is?

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Mr. Lopez, if you know where she is and
you don't tell us, you're an accomplice.

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All my friends know the lowrider.

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You just want to talk to her?

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Yes.

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Okay, follow me.

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Hey, but in case she tries to run, don't
bother with the pepper spray. We're

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Mexican.

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That won't do anything. That would be
like me spraying you with mayonnaise.

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Ma 'am?

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Oh, officer.

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I was looking for Benny Lopez. She's not
out here.

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I'll check Mexico.

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Mom, relax.

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She just wants to talk to you.

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You are under arrest for being an
accessory to an armed robbery.

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You lied to me.

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See, this is why people like firemen
better. They don't yell, jump, and then

28
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move the little trampoline thing out of
the way.

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Hey,

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hey, hey, English.

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She said you're very handsome and
lovely.

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Chill out. George, you sold me out.

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You're not my son anymore, George. I
never want to...

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So who's going to bail you out?

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I'll see you one more time.

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Take it easy, Mom. I'm not going to let
anything happen to you. I'll be right

37
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down to bail you out. Yeah, right. The
last time you said that, I spent a night

38
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in jail.

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I was five.

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You're not going to believe what I just
found out.

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Everything's about you, Angie. They just
arrested my mom.

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down to the police station. Okay, well,
on your way home, pick up diapers.

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I'm pregnant.

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How do you know that I'm the... George.

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Okay, Angie, you're pregnant. Okay,
let's deal with this.

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Body George, I know I'm not my -

47
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They said I gotta put up my house as
collateral in case you skip bail.

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And?

49
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Let's see.

50
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That's pretty solid.

51
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I didn't do it. What?

52
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Look, Mom, they said you're a flight
risk. If you leave, I lose my house,

53
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I won't do that to my family. George, I
swear I won't skip bail, okay?

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I give you my word.

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You told me my dad was dead. Then you
never told me I had a sister.

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When I was a kid, you used to make me
dress up like a girl so we could get in

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free at Mother Daughter Day at the
track.

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I'm going to use every penny I got to
get you the best lawyer I can, okay? So

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you don't end up going to prison.

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George, if you bail me out, I won't have
to worry about going to prison because

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I'll be in Mexico by sunup.

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Mom, if I thought you'd stay in Mexico,
it'd be worth losing my house.

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Trust me, the next two weeks...

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working on a science project.

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I'm trying to come up with a cure for a
hangover.

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Hey, there's no cure for a hangover,
man. You wake up in the morning, you got

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that killer headache, the dry heaves,
you're like... And

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then you taste in the back of your
throat like a hot dog at a carnival, but

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don't remember being there. You're
like... And then...

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I got to go.

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Like that.

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George, George, George.

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Everything is going to be okay.

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The factory's not moving to Mexico.

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Yeah, the Powers brothers looked into
it, but it turns out that all the

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Mexicans in our industry, they're
already here.

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You didn't tell me they were thinking
about moving the factory.

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Ernie, I don't listen to your messages.

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What? Why not? Dude, you call me when
you see a hot girl on the freeway. Then

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you take up five minutes of my
voicemail. Judge! Judge! Judge!

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Any luck finding a lawyer for your mom?

82
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Yeah, but they're all $200 an hour.

83
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$200? That's outrageous.

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Benny isn't going to go to jail for
something she did 30 years ago.

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What defender?

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No way.

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00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:56,730
Well, with everything that's going on,
we've got a lot of bills coming in. We

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need to talk about this.

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Ernie, do you mind giving us some
privacy?

90
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But I just opened this can.

91
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I mean, I could put it in the fridge,
but it's not going to be fizzy later.

92
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Oh, you've got that get out look.

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Do you need to hear it? No.

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Angie, we always do.

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Yeah, but we have a new one.

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I didn't get a chance to tell you this
because you were dealing with your mom,

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but Carmen got into college.

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Carmen got accepted?

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That's great!

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Yes. Our little girl is going to be the
first Lopez to go to college.

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For more than two weeks.

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Thank you.

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And on top of that, we have all the
expenses with the baby.

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Angie, this is crazy.

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We can't handle another kid at our age.

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What about adoption?

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I am not giving up this baby.

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I'm talking about Mac.

109
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You know, he smells funky.

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You know, he sleeps till noon. I don't
see what we're getting out of the deal.

111
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I'm just worried that our bills are
going to bury us.

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Don't worry, all right? I've got a plan.

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We're going to get my mom a great lawyer
and deal with the rest of the bills

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later. That's not a plan.

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I didn't finish.

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Then we're going to play the lottery,
right?

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And then we're going to invent something
that everyone needs, like socks that

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have sandpaper at the end.

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So that way when you walk, you trim your
toenails.

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There might be a bleeding issue, but
this is just off the top of my head.

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Come here, not dressed.

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My mom's hearing's in an hour. Tell her
I'm sorry, but I can't make it. I have

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to help Carmen finish packing.

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I can't believe our baby's leaving for
college today. She just got accepted two

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weeks ago.

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Come on. Look, she got a job on campus.
Angie, this is a good thing.

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We fed this baby bird for 18 years.

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And now it's time to nudge her out of
the nest.

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She'll either fly or she'll land in the
yard and the neighbor's cattle eat half

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her body.

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Great news.

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Lindsay finally said yes.

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What got him married?

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Oh, come on.

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Congratulate me.

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Daddy, Carmen is leaving today for
college. George has to go to his

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hearing. We've got other things on our
minds.

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Yeah, I know what the problem is. You
can't accept the fact that I'm marrying

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woman who's only 27.

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I can accept that she's 27, Vic. What
I'm not so sure about, dude, is that is

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she really a woman?

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00:11:04,770 --> 00:11:08,590
When you asked her to marry you, did she
look in your eyes and say, I will?

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You come home as soon as the hearing's
over. Carmen really wants you to come to

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the airport.

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I'll be there.

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So, I guess congratulations are in order
for you.

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Look, we don't know if my mom's going to
prison yet.

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No.

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I heard you're having a baby.

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Oh, yeah.

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00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,960
But you don't sound too excited.

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I'm not. Look, I thought I was done
raising kids, but what can I do?

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Wait.

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There's something important I need to
say to you, son.

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And it's something that helps me
whenever I'm facing tough times.

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I'm marrying a 27 -year -old!

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That's great, Vic. You know, in ten
years, when she goes to her high school

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reunion, she can take your ashes.

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00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,340
That's not an ashtray. You just fit your
gum in my husband.

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Where's the judge, man? I gotta take my
daughter to the airport.

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Oh, it'll be a while, George.

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The judge is running late.

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You know, I'm not paying you till the
judge gets here.

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Sorry, old chum, but if I'm in the
court, I'm on the clock.

165
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:36,500
Well, if I'm paying you, then you're
going to work. Hey, give me some coffee.

166
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,160
ever fetched coffee for a client before?

167
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:48,220
And again, I've never had a client agree
to pay me $200 an hour. Would you like

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cream?

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Mom. Narc.

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All right, if we're going to get this
thing thrown out, you have to make a

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impression on the judge.

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So when you talk about yourself,
accentuate the quality.

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Make you look empathetic.

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You don't have any of those. Stick to
the facts, Mom.

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The facts are going to get me sent to
jail.

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Facts are subjective.

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Last night, I had a romantic liaison
with my secretary in the office.

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My wife called.

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I told her I couldn't come home because
I had something on my desk that needed

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my attention.

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Now, did I lie?

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Corchino, yeah, you lied.

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I hear what you're saying.

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Mom, don't do this, okay? If you get
caught lying, you're going to make this

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worse.

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00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,660
Yeah, you're right. George, lying never
works.

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You're the smartest guy I know.

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00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:09,170
Sorry I'm late.

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Be seated.

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00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,150
Okay, let's get started.

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00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:15,590
We're here to determine if the United
States v.

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00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:19,490
Benita Lopez will be going to trial.
I'll hear from both sides. Is the

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00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:20,930
present? Here, Your Honor.

194
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:25,770
Okay, Ms. Lopez. Now, why don't you tell
me what happened on the day in question

195
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,050
when the convenience store was robbed?

196
00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:32,390
Well, it started out like any other day.

197
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,170
I was on my way to church.

198
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,110
From the soup kitchen.

199
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:46,330
Before I started my shift at the Braille
Institute.

200
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:49,270
Your Honor,

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00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,870
I demand that this case be thrown out.

202
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:54,610
On what grounds?

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00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:01,410
Due to my mom's sexual history.

204
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:06,770
It is impossible for her to get a fair
trial in Southern California.

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00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:09,270
The jury...

206
00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:22,700
No jury here. This is my calling.
Besides, who are you? Are you acting as

207
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,800
attorney? Uh, no.

208
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:27,360
Um... I'm her son. Hello.

209
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,680
Well, go have a seat, son, and don't say
another word or I'll hold you in

210
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,680
contempt.

211
00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:37,080
Yes, Your Honor. I could never do
nothing in court.

212
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:42,200
You'd be lucky to hold me because I can
talk whenever I want because I'm a human

213
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,500
being. Second, I don't... You don't
like... Get down!

214
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,820
but we have to get going if Carmen's
going to make a flight.

215
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,280
What is it?

216
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,060
I got my period.

217
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,760
I'm not pregnant.

218
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,020
I guess the test was a false positive.

219
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,600
Well, that happens sometimes.

220
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,040
Oh, Princess, I'm so sorry.

221
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,400
George is going to be relieved.

222
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:23,740
What about you?

223
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:31,430
It's funny, I wasn't sure how I felt. It
was so unplanned.

224
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,610
But now, I'm a little sad.

225
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:42,510
Remember how I used to cheer you up when
you were a little girl?

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00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:47,190
I don't think the tickle monster is
going to help me right now.

227
00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:49,970
Probably not.

228
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:56,780
But remember, the thing about tickle
monsters is that... You never know when

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00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:57,780
they're going to attack.

230
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,300
Okay,

231
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,380
okay, okay. Thank you, Daddy. You can
stop now.

232
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,960
I know you're too old for this.

233
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,460
But age means nothing to the tickle
monster.

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00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:21,540
The truth is, Your Honor, it couldn't
have been me in the car at

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00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,560
the convenience store.

236
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,619
I was busy donating bone marrow to a
stranger.

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00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,020
Thank you, Ms. Lopez.

238
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,360
Have a seat.

239
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,440
Does the prosecution have anything they
wish to say?

240
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,580
Yeah.

241
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:47,240
We have a videotape from the parking lot
security camera of the defendant

242
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,080
driving the getaway car.

243
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:57,250
We have blown up the tape and you can
see her laughing and stuffing money into

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00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,250
her bra.

245
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:11,490
Also, she was wearing the same shirt she
is wearing now.

246
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,060
Trial is set for three days. Three weeks
from today.

247
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,740
Angie, I'm here.

248
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,540
Carmen?

249
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,260
They couldn't wait anymore. Mom had to
take Carmen to the airport.

250
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:51,550
I can't believe I missed her.

251
00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:55,470
Since you'll probably miss it when I go
to college, want to say goodbye to me

252
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:56,470
now?

253
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:01,110
College? Dude, I've seen your report
card. You're going to live above the

254
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:02,110
like Fonzie.

255
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,080
Where were you?

256
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,180
I got held up in court.

257
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,660
Are you okay?

258
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,620
Angie.

259
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:07,940
Yeah, honey.

260
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,920
I'm really glad we're gonna have this
baby.

261
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,540
Really?

262
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,260
Yeah.

263
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:21,020
Absolutely.

264
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:23,980
Because...

265
00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:29,310
I thought you might actually be relieved
if you found out we weren't having this

266
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:30,690
baby. No.

267
00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:33,090
No, look.

268
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,490
I didn't know Carmen's leaving would hit
me like this.

269
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:41,830
The baby's the one thing we gotta look
forward to.

270
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,370
So you're ready to raise another kid?

271
00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:47,770
Yeah. Aren't you?

272
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,690
Yeah.

273
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,310
I'd like that.

274
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:59,510
We're going to see you in nine months.
Or maybe ten or eleven months.

275
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:04,270
It depends on the date of conception, so
don't start counting weeks or anything.

276
00:21:04,650 --> 00:21:05,650
What are you talking about?

277
00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:07,650
Nothing. Hormones.

278
00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:12,070
So, I forgot to ask. What happened with
your mom?

279
00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:13,330
Oh.

280
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:14,450
She's going to trial.

281
00:21:17,570 --> 00:21:19,990
You'll probably get out before your
grandma does.