1 00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:04,762 Andy? 2 00:00:04,868 --> 00:00:06,233 3 00:00:07,838 --> 00:00:10,363 Attend the tale Of Sweeney Todd 4 00:00:11,675 --> 00:00:14,610 His skin was pale And his eye was odd 5 00:00:14,678 --> 00:00:15,702 Yes. 6 00:00:15,779 --> 00:00:17,371 He shaved the faces Of gentlemen 7 00:00:17,447 --> 00:00:19,711 Who never thereafter Were heard of again 8 00:00:20,284 --> 00:00:22,616 He trod a path That few have trod 9 00:00:23,187 --> 00:00:24,950 Did Sweeney Todd 10 00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:28,219 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 11 00:00:29,359 --> 00:00:31,020 Did you write this? No. 12 00:00:31,094 --> 00:00:32,322 Who did? Stephen Sondheim. 13 00:00:32,396 --> 00:00:33,556 Who is he? 14 00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:37,396 Swing your Razor wide, Sweeney 15 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:41,164 Hold it to the skies 16 00:00:41,238 --> 00:00:47,404 Freely flows the blood Of those who moralize 17 00:00:47,477 --> 00:00:49,342 What the hell is happening? 18 00:00:49,413 --> 00:00:50,710 We are the cast of Sweeney Todd: 19 00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:52,043 The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. 20 00:00:52,115 --> 00:00:53,309 We open in a couple of weeks 21 00:00:53,383 --> 00:00:54,941 at the Loose Screw Playhouse, here in Scranton. 22 00:00:55,018 --> 00:00:59,580 And today, just doing a wee bit of viral marketing, gov'nor! 23 00:00:59,656 --> 00:01:01,681 ALL: Attend the tale Of Sweeney Todd 24 00:01:01,825 --> 00:01:03,349 25 00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:05,552 He served a dark and a vengeful God 26 00:01:05,629 --> 00:01:07,563 He served a dark and a vengeful God 27 00:01:07,664 --> 00:01:09,188 28 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,358 What happens then Well, that's the play 29 00:01:11,435 --> 00:01:13,198 And he wouldn't Want us to give it away 30 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:14,601 31 00:01:15,105 --> 00:01:16,572 Not Sweeney Todd 32 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,775 The demon barber of Fleet 33 00:01:21,178 --> 00:01:22,304 Street 34 00:01:23,146 --> 00:01:24,875 Wow! 35 00:01:27,918 --> 00:01:31,149 Oh, that was amazing! That was awesome! 36 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,951 I auditioned for this! When did the cast list go up? 37 00:01:34,891 --> 00:01:36,017 Like a month ago. 38 00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:37,685 Really? They didn't call me! 39 00:01:40,364 --> 00:01:41,422 Who am I playing? 40 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,726 Andy? 41 00:02:19,636 --> 00:02:20,625 42 00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:24,804 Two comps for milady and her Gabe. It's closing night. 43 00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,274 Tomorrow we have to give the theater over 44 00:02:26,410 --> 00:02:27,809 to the Scranton's Miss Fitness Pageant. 45 00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:31,541 I am so excited, but I just need one. Gabe can't come. Sorry. 46 00:02:31,615 --> 00:02:33,412 What? Yeah. 47 00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,917 That's awful. Everyone's gonna miss that guy. 48 00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:38,750 Gabe is not coming, which is huge, 49 00:02:38,822 --> 00:02:41,086 because my plan is to make Erin 50 00:02:41,191 --> 00:02:42,954 fall back in love with me tonight. 51 00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:47,122 Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. 52 00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:49,966 It's so powerful, even a lot of men 53 00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:52,467 can't resist a man singing show tunes. 54 00:02:52,536 --> 00:02:54,265 Oh, who else is going? Everyone. 55 00:02:54,338 --> 00:02:55,498 Gabe seemed to think no one was going. 56 00:02:56,273 --> 00:02:59,003 What kind of terrible rumormonger is Gabe? 57 00:02:59,076 --> 00:03:01,544 He is woefully ill informed, all right? 58 00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:02,771 Excuse me. 59 00:03:03,013 --> 00:03:04,344 60 00:03:04,414 --> 00:03:07,406 Everybody, you're all coming to my show tonight, right? 61 00:03:07,484 --> 00:03:08,473 Andy, what time's it start? 62 00:03:08,552 --> 00:03:09,541 8:00 p.m. Sharp. 63 00:03:09,619 --> 00:03:11,086 How long is it? Hour and 45... 64 00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,280 No, I can't make it. 65 00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:15,957 They say that no one can take your pride, 66 00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:19,655 but the people who cast Andy's play, they took mine. 67 00:03:20,263 --> 00:03:21,958 Jim, Pam, you guys are in, right? 68 00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:25,934 Oh, we wanted to, but our sitter just fell through. I'm really sorry. 69 00:03:26,403 --> 00:03:27,927 Dwight? No, thank you. 70 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,105 Last time I went to the theater, 71 00:03:31,208 --> 00:03:34,006 a man dressed as a cat sat on my lap. 72 00:03:35,178 --> 00:03:39,512 It would mean so much to me if you came to my show tonight. 73 00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:41,915 I can't, Andy. It's too hard. 74 00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:43,247 That's... 75 00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:47,246 I put everything I had into that audition. Do you understand that? 76 00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:48,450 If it makes you feel any better, 77 00:03:48,525 --> 00:03:52,017 no one who auditioned for the part of Sweeney Todd got that part. 78 00:03:52,095 --> 00:03:53,187 They had to bring in a ringer. 79 00:03:54,531 --> 00:03:57,591 This guy's, like, world class. You should not feel bad. 80 00:03:59,636 --> 00:04:01,729 I'm asking you, thespian to thespian, 81 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:05,571 will you please be the bigger man and come to my show? 82 00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:08,577 I wish I could, Andy, but I can't. 83 00:04:08,645 --> 00:04:11,136 I have plans that night. 84 00:04:11,214 --> 00:04:14,672 I'm going to see a friend in a play called Sweeney Todd. 85 00:04:16,987 --> 00:04:19,478 You're that friend. I'm going to see your play. 86 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:21,152 87 00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:23,019 Nice! 88 00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,027 And scene. 89 00:04:25,295 --> 00:04:28,128 Listen, I would like you to take me to Andy's play tonight. 90 00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:30,327 Please, waste of time. 91 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,561 You know what? Let's just knock this out right now. 92 00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,762 Disrobe. 93 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:38,240 Angela? Don't like her anymore. Not attracted to her anymore. 94 00:04:38,308 --> 00:04:41,209 Just contractually obligated to make a baby with her. 95 00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:43,478 Give me the punch card. No. 96 00:04:43,547 --> 00:04:44,707 If you want to punch the punch card, 97 00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:45,873 you have to take me to the show. 98 00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:47,880 That is not in the contract. 99 00:04:47,951 --> 00:04:50,283 Well, there's a lot of gray area in that clause. 100 00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:51,752 Do you want to re-mediate? 101 00:04:51,822 --> 00:04:55,053 All right, fine! I'll go to your little show. 102 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,183 But I'm not wearing a cape. 103 00:04:56,259 --> 00:04:57,248 Thank you. 104 00:04:57,327 --> 00:04:59,727 Dwight and I have a contractual agreement 105 00:04:59,796 --> 00:05:02,629 to procreate five times, plain and simple. 106 00:05:02,699 --> 00:05:06,726 And should he develop feelings for me? 107 00:05:06,803 --> 00:05:10,000 Well, that would be permissible under item 7C, clause 2, 108 00:05:10,073 --> 00:05:13,440 so I would not object. 109 00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:15,603 Hey. How are those salads? 110 00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:16,703 It's my own fault... 111 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:20,409 My parents used to scramble to find babysitters 112 00:05:20,484 --> 00:05:22,418 so they could take my little brother to do stuff. 113 00:05:22,486 --> 00:05:23,646 I understand how hard it can be. 114 00:05:24,521 --> 00:05:26,352 I just... Tonight, I mean, if you could... 115 00:05:26,423 --> 00:05:27,583 We'll keep looking. 116 00:05:27,657 --> 00:05:28,783 Yes! Really? 117 00:05:28,859 --> 00:05:31,521 I mean, who knows? Maybe I have a niece my family never told me about. 118 00:05:31,595 --> 00:05:33,222 Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. 119 00:05:33,296 --> 00:05:34,661 Yeah. For a lot of reasons. 120 00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:37,529 Yeah, I know. Niece! 121 00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:40,428 Oh! Hey, guys. 122 00:05:40,504 --> 00:05:42,165 You brought balloons to a play? 123 00:05:42,239 --> 00:05:44,639 I did, because I am being the bigger man, 124 00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,335 and balloons are bigger than flowers. 125 00:05:46,409 --> 00:05:47,398 It's nice, like Up. 126 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,466 Yes. 127 00:05:49,045 --> 00:05:51,445 Excuse me. Are you the guy that did an entire 128 00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:53,881 Law and Order episode for his audition? 129 00:05:56,319 --> 00:05:57,411 Nope. 130 00:05:58,622 --> 00:06:00,590 Guys? ALL: Hey! 131 00:06:00,657 --> 00:06:01,919 Andy! Hey! 132 00:06:01,992 --> 00:06:04,222 You all made it. Thank you so much. 133 00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:05,761 You should actually thank Erin. 134 00:06:05,829 --> 00:06:07,353 She's the one who agreed to babysit. 135 00:06:09,065 --> 00:06:10,293 She's babysitting? 136 00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:14,861 I really wanted to see Andy's play, because he's so, so talented, 137 00:06:14,938 --> 00:06:17,702 but I've been trying to get in the babysitting game forever. 138 00:06:17,774 --> 00:06:21,232 The 13- year-olds in this town have a complete monopoly. 139 00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,836 It's almost like a babysitters' club. 140 00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:25,381 I understand. 141 00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:29,816 This is, like, a huge opportunity for her. 142 00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,589 This is ridiculous. 143 00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:42,356 You'd think they'd discourage people from bringing in balloons. 144 00:06:42,432 --> 00:06:45,458 Hey, I think this guy playing Sweeney Todd is my plumber. 145 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:49,471 No, Darryl. This guy's a world-class actor. 146 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,370 He doesn't daylight as your plumber. 147 00:06:51,441 --> 00:06:53,875 No, it's my plumber. Says so in his bio. 148 00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:56,344 Apparently, the director discovered him doing karaoke. 149 00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:58,779 It's his first play. He didn't even audition. 150 00:06:58,848 --> 00:07:00,577 Are you kidding me? Shh. 151 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:01,912 If we don't listen to the overture, 152 00:07:01,985 --> 00:07:03,213 we won't recognize the musical themes 153 00:07:03,286 --> 00:07:04,378 when they come back later. 154 00:07:04,454 --> 00:07:05,921 All right, I'm sorry. 155 00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:07,989 God. 156 00:07:08,525 --> 00:07:11,050 Attend the tale Of Sweeney Todd 157 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,429 His skin was pale And his eye was odd 158 00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:18,063 He shaved the faces Of gentlemen 159 00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:20,602 Who never thereafter Were heard of again 160 00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,605 He trod a path That few have trod 161 00:07:23,673 --> 00:07:25,504 Did Sweeney Todd 162 00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:29,376 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 163 00:07:29,646 --> 00:07:31,136 164 00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:36,909 He kept a shop In London town 165 00:07:36,987 --> 00:07:39,717 Excuse me, I think you may be in the wrong seats. 166 00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,786 What if none of Their souls were saved 167 00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:46,920 They went to their Maker impeccably shaved 168 00:07:46,997 --> 00:07:48,362 By Sweeney 169 00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,664 By Sweeney Todd 170 00:07:52,435 --> 00:07:55,097 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 171 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:02,544 I feel you 172 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:05,911 Johanna 173 00:08:06,016 --> 00:08:10,419 I feel you 174 00:08:10,487 --> 00:08:12,785 I was half convinced I waited 175 00:08:12,856 --> 00:08:14,448 I work with that guy. 176 00:08:14,524 --> 00:08:18,221 Satisfied enough To dream you 177 00:08:18,294 --> 00:08:21,730 Happily I was mistaken 178 00:08:21,798 --> 00:08:24,767 Johanna 179 00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:29,896 Oh! There's gum on the seat, and now it's on my work skirt. 180 00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:31,702 I have to go change. 181 00:08:31,775 --> 00:08:34,300 Too bad I'm not gonna explain anything that you miss. 182 00:08:34,377 --> 00:08:36,174 Oh, Dwight, just move. 183 00:08:37,781 --> 00:08:41,342 Do they think that walls can hide you? 184 00:08:42,352 --> 00:08:45,515 His name's Andy. He's a terrible salesman. 185 00:08:45,588 --> 00:08:49,115 I am in the dark beside you 186 00:08:51,094 --> 00:08:52,925 What time is it? 187 00:09:00,537 --> 00:09:01,765 Michael! 188 00:09:02,605 --> 00:09:03,799 Shelby Thomas Weems, the director. 189 00:09:03,873 --> 00:09:04,999 Hello. 190 00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:08,101 I promise you that if you keep auditioning 191 00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,839 with a similar gusto... Okay. 192 00:09:09,913 --> 00:09:13,747 ...we are going to find a production with a role for Michael Scott. 193 00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:14,943 Okay. Yes? 194 00:09:15,018 --> 00:09:16,042 Yes. Good. 195 00:09:16,119 --> 00:09:17,381 Good. Enjoy the second act. 196 00:09:17,454 --> 00:09:18,716 You enjoy the second act. Have a refreshment. 197 00:09:18,788 --> 00:09:20,119 Thank you. You, too. 198 00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:22,320 Thank you, thank you. 199 00:09:24,728 --> 00:09:26,320 Come on, Dwight. 200 00:09:26,796 --> 00:09:28,764 Why are you dressed like a seed catalog model? 201 00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:32,593 These are just my dirty old gardening clothes. 202 00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:34,330 They were all that I had in my car. 203 00:09:34,404 --> 00:09:35,666 Let's go. 204 00:09:39,609 --> 00:09:42,544 Hey, Erin, it's Pam. Hey, how you doing... 205 00:09:42,612 --> 00:09:44,842 No, no, don't put Cece on the phone, because she can't talk yet. 206 00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:49,473 Okay. No, I was just calling to see how everything's going. 207 00:09:49,552 --> 00:09:51,349 Yeah? Yeah? It's good? 208 00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:54,790 The play? The play is kind of great. 209 00:09:54,891 --> 00:09:59,123 I mean, it's fun to hear Andy sing in the appropriate setting. 210 00:09:59,195 --> 00:10:02,358 No, he's really sorry you couldn't make it, too. 211 00:10:02,432 --> 00:10:06,300 Yeah. So thank you so much again. We're having a great time. 212 00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:09,031 Oh, they're flashing the lights, so we should go in. 213 00:10:09,105 --> 00:10:10,504 Thanks. Bye. 214 00:10:11,574 --> 00:10:12,871 Okay, so we called, and everything's fine. 215 00:10:12,942 --> 00:10:14,170 Everything's fine. 216 00:10:14,244 --> 00:10:15,268 We can relax. 217 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:16,903 We can relax. Let's get our Sweeney on. 218 00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:20,472 Then I go Walking with you-hoo 219 00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,074 You-hoo 220 00:10:22,152 --> 00:10:25,485 I warm me bones On the esplanade 221 00:10:25,555 --> 00:10:28,524 Have tea and scones With me gay young blade 222 00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:29,615 Hey, Michael! 223 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:32,354 I'll knit a sweater While you write a letter 224 00:10:32,428 --> 00:10:36,023 Unless we've Got better to do-hoo 225 00:10:36,599 --> 00:10:38,226 Anything you say 226 00:10:38,635 --> 00:10:42,264 Think how snug it'll be Underneath our flannel 227 00:10:42,338 --> 00:10:45,705 When it's just you and me And the English Channel 228 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:49,074 In our cozy retreat Kept all neat and tidy 229 00:10:49,145 --> 00:10:52,012 We'll have chums Over ev'ry Friday 230 00:10:52,081 --> 00:10:53,571 By the sea 231 00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:54,776 Anything you say 232 00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:58,218 Don't you love the weather 233 00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:00,614 Just checking my e-mails. 234 00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:04,182 See if I got any last-minute "break-a-legs" 235 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:06,490 or "l-still-Iove-you" type texts. 236 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:13,360 Doesn't look like I got anything. Maybe on my Facebook wall. 237 00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:21,900 Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production of Sweeney Todd, 238 00:11:21,978 --> 00:11:24,674 the real terror comes from the vocal performances. 239 00:11:24,747 --> 00:11:25,941 New paragraph. 240 00:11:26,015 --> 00:11:28,813 Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd! I found her! 241 00:11:30,119 --> 00:11:31,882 You found Johanna. 242 00:11:31,955 --> 00:11:34,549 That monster of a judge has locked her... 243 00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:37,320 �MUSICAL TONE PLAYING ON CELL PHONE� 244 00:11:38,962 --> 00:11:40,088 Locked her away... 245 00:11:40,163 --> 00:11:41,528 �MUSICAL TONE CONTINUES PLAYING� 246 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:49,866 There's a little bird fluttering around. Do hope it ceases chirping. 247 00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:51,472 248 00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:53,503 How is that funny? 249 00:11:53,576 --> 00:11:57,603 The bird continues to call. Someone please turn off your bird. 250 00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,341 �MUSICAL TONE CONTINUES PLAYING� 251 00:11:59,415 --> 00:12:02,714 Oh, for the love... Turn your phone off! There are signs! 252 00:12:02,785 --> 00:12:03,877 Oh! 253 00:12:04,888 --> 00:12:08,619 It appears the bird was in mine own pocket this whole time. 254 00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:11,285 He's gone to sleep now. I closed his beak. 255 00:12:12,462 --> 00:12:13,793 256 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,525 What is the news of my darling daughter Johanna? 257 00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:17,930 �MUSICAL TONE PLAYS ON CELL PHONE� 258 00:12:18,034 --> 00:12:20,332 You know what? Let me just double check. 259 00:12:20,403 --> 00:12:22,667 Make sure that bird... 260 00:12:24,173 --> 00:12:26,641 Okay, good. It's off. 261 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:31,039 I mean, silenced. I silenced it by killing it. 262 00:12:31,114 --> 00:12:34,914 I've killed it! I'm a murderer! Just like you, Sweeney Todd! 263 00:12:34,984 --> 00:12:36,451 See? It all connects. 264 00:12:38,655 --> 00:12:40,247 Not that I know you're a murderer. 265 00:12:40,323 --> 00:12:41,847 My character doesn't know that yet. 266 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,823 But I'm suspicious, because of all the razors that you have laying around. 267 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:50,559 And you spend time alone, 268 00:12:51,768 --> 00:12:53,497 but you're a barber, so that's legit. 269 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,003 So there's that. 270 00:12:56,072 --> 00:12:57,198 But... 271 00:12:57,273 --> 00:12:58,604 Where is Johanna? 272 00:12:58,675 --> 00:12:59,801 A madhouse. A madhouse? 273 00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:01,867 Yes, a madhouse. 274 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:03,344 A madhouse? 275 00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:05,142 Johanna is as good as rescued. 276 00:13:05,214 --> 00:13:06,909 Where do you suppose all the wig makers 277 00:13:06,983 --> 00:13:09,781 of London go to obtain their human hair? 278 00:13:09,852 --> 00:13:11,376 Do you think... 279 00:13:12,755 --> 00:13:14,279 So you think... 280 00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:26,265 So you think... Fogg's Asylum, why not? 281 00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:28,031 282 00:13:29,205 --> 00:13:30,263 283 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:33,505 Sounds like Cece. 284 00:13:33,576 --> 00:13:35,908 Okay, I think everybody just needs to relax. 285 00:13:35,979 --> 00:13:36,968 Oh, my God. Go, go. 286 00:13:37,046 --> 00:13:38,138 Oh, my God. 287 00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:44,613 288 00:13:45,254 --> 00:13:49,520 That's really irresponsible of Erin. She's a terrible babysitter. 289 00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:54,996 I just didn't think you guys were gonna see us. 290 00:13:55,064 --> 00:13:56,998 We were just gonna stop by and then get some ice cream 291 00:13:57,066 --> 00:13:58,090 and then go home. 292 00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,200 Okay, this was pretty simple. Right? 293 00:14:00,269 --> 00:14:01,293 Why are you here? 294 00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:03,202 All you had to do was play with her 295 00:14:03,272 --> 00:14:05,069 for, like, 30 minutes and then put her to bed. 296 00:14:05,141 --> 00:14:07,075 Then we were kind of hoping that you wouldn't touch her again. 297 00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:08,940 Babies shouldn't have ice cream, by the way. 298 00:14:09,479 --> 00:14:12,471 I'm sorry. I just... I really wanted to see Andy. 299 00:14:12,548 --> 00:14:13,947 You guys made it sound so un-missable, 300 00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:16,110 and you set me up with a car seat and everything. 301 00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:18,710 Well, the car seat was to take her to the hospital or... 302 00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:21,085 But why would I take her to the hospital? 303 00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:24,159 You know what, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 304 00:14:24,227 --> 00:14:26,855 Why don't I just take her home, and let you guys finish, 305 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:28,794 and then you should stay out as late as you want. 306 00:14:28,865 --> 00:14:30,730 No, we're good. Thank you, though. 307 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:31,926 Yeah. Thanks. 308 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,060 Okay. All right, bye, Cece. 309 00:14:34,837 --> 00:14:36,498 Okay. All right. 310 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,298 Well, we're never leaving the house again. 311 00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:39,398 Not together. 312 00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:53,312 313 00:14:58,761 --> 00:15:00,524 314 00:15:07,236 --> 00:15:09,363 That was more horrifying than Nunsense. 315 00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:10,599 All that singing got in the way 316 00:15:10,673 --> 00:15:12,834 of some perfectly good murders. 317 00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:15,641 Where's my car? 318 00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:25,945 Come on. 319 00:15:28,524 --> 00:15:30,924 Mmm! Fruit is so much better when it's dried. 320 00:15:30,993 --> 00:15:32,688 I've already eaten, like, 30 apricots. 321 00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:33,786 Darryl? 322 00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:34,852 Hey! 323 00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:36,330 Didn't know you were gonna be here. 324 00:15:36,399 --> 00:15:37,991 How's the toilet? Silent. 325 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,762 Look, congratulations. Thank you. 326 00:15:39,836 --> 00:15:43,363 I had no idea. This plumber has pipes. 327 00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:45,600 Yeah, good job. Well done. 328 00:15:46,175 --> 00:15:47,301 You're the guy who booed me. 329 00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,004 Mmm-mmm. 330 00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:52,407 No, there were a lot of people booing you. I wasn't one of them. 331 00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:55,076 No, I saw you, and you were the only one. 332 00:15:55,618 --> 00:15:57,085 Get your eyes checked, chucklehead. 333 00:15:57,153 --> 00:16:00,418 Be cool, Michael. I saw this guy kill a bunch of people. 334 00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:02,355 Good work. Thank you. 335 00:16:05,862 --> 00:16:06,886 You didn't have to boo him. 336 00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:08,863 He was getting a lot of applause, 337 00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:10,558 and I just didn't think it was indicative 338 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:11,964 of how people were really feeling. 339 00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:13,331 How would you like it if we booed you? 340 00:16:13,402 --> 00:16:15,302 That would never happen. 341 00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:16,598 Okay. 342 00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,266 I appreciate the feedback. 343 00:16:18,341 --> 00:16:19,740 344 00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:23,469 I don't like that at all. 345 00:16:25,248 --> 00:16:26,738 Are you ready? 346 00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:27,942 Yes. 347 00:16:28,017 --> 00:16:30,713 I'm so scared! Okay, kill me! Just kill me! Kill me! 348 00:16:30,853 --> 00:16:32,218 349 00:16:32,455 --> 00:16:33,547 350 00:16:33,656 --> 00:16:35,590 Blood everywhere. Oh, no. 351 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:38,885 I'm so glad we're hanging out again outside of work. 352 00:16:38,961 --> 00:16:40,223 Yeah, me, too. 353 00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:42,786 Okay, I kill you now. 354 00:16:42,865 --> 00:16:43,854 Okay. 355 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,392 All right. 356 00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:47,928 All right, let's do this. 357 00:16:48,004 --> 00:16:50,905 You know, actually, Dwight, I didn't realize how far this walk was, 358 00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:52,235 and I'm exhausted. 359 00:16:52,308 --> 00:16:53,502 It's okay, I smell. 360 00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:55,908 No. No, no, no. I think I just want to go home, 361 00:16:55,978 --> 00:16:58,572 but it's okay. This can count as one of your times. 362 00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:00,912 No, no, no. Contractually, we're obligated to have sex. 363 00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:02,643 Well, I won't tell if you don't. 364 00:17:02,718 --> 00:17:04,549 I will tell. I will tell the mediator. 365 00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,050 What... What are you... Oh, okay. 366 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,351 Oh, was that in the way? Get rid of it. Oh! 367 00:17:14,497 --> 00:17:16,226 Good night, Dwight. 368 00:17:22,838 --> 00:17:24,203 Good night. 369 00:17:27,143 --> 00:17:30,442 These would have been your seats. Best seats in the house. 370 00:17:30,513 --> 00:17:33,676 Lot of people think it would be the front row, but, actually, right here, 371 00:17:33,749 --> 00:17:36,274 this is where the speakers converge 372 00:17:36,352 --> 00:17:39,150 and the sound just, like, nails you right here. 373 00:17:39,222 --> 00:17:40,814 This is awesome. 374 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,118 Oh. 375 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,351 Sorry. Oh. Oh. 376 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:44,817 Hi, Gabe. 377 00:17:46,128 --> 00:17:49,859 Yeah, I just stopped by Andy's cast party to say hi to everyone. 378 00:17:49,932 --> 00:17:53,163 Sure, I can pick you up some soup. What do you want? 379 00:17:53,236 --> 00:17:54,965 That's broth, Gabe. 380 00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:57,732 Okay, I'll see you soup. 381 00:17:58,641 --> 00:18:01,075 Okay, I have to go. Thank you so much. 382 00:18:01,143 --> 00:18:03,907 This was so much fun, and I'm really sorry that I missed your play, 383 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:06,039 but next time, I'll be there. 384 00:18:06,115 --> 00:18:08,083 Or here. Right here, I promise. 385 00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,640 Awesome. Okay. 386 00:18:10,253 --> 00:18:11,277 See you later. 387 00:18:11,354 --> 00:18:12,685 Thank you. 388 00:18:18,594 --> 00:18:19,891 389 00:18:20,096 --> 00:18:21,120 390 00:18:21,197 --> 00:18:23,461 It's like The Hurt Locker. 391 00:18:23,532 --> 00:18:24,829 This night was a disaster. 392 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,061 No, it was not a disaster. 393 00:18:27,136 --> 00:18:29,161 It was weird, but it wasn't a disaster. 394 00:18:30,106 --> 00:18:33,507 I think we have, like, a gift bottle of Irish Cream. 395 00:18:33,576 --> 00:18:35,339 Yeah? We could put that in orange juice. 396 00:18:35,411 --> 00:18:36,537 Get it. Yeah? 397 00:18:36,612 --> 00:18:38,546 Let's get our juice on. Yeah. 398 00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:40,211 399 00:18:41,951 --> 00:18:43,282 PHYLLIS: Found him. 400 00:18:43,753 --> 00:18:47,314 Hey, what's going on here? Post-show blues? 401 00:18:47,390 --> 00:18:48,857 Yeah, I guess you could say that. 402 00:18:48,924 --> 00:18:50,949 Yeah, I get those every day after work. 403 00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:52,460 Your show was really great, Andy. 404 00:18:52,528 --> 00:18:55,656 Interesting subject matter. I'm surprised you pulled it off. 405 00:18:56,666 --> 00:18:57,963 It was like amateur hour. 406 00:18:58,034 --> 00:18:59,626 It was an amateur production, technically. 407 00:18:59,702 --> 00:19:03,866 Oscar, enough with the sass, please! God! What is wrong with you? 408 00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:05,531 Andy, listen to me. 409 00:19:05,608 --> 00:19:06,973 Look me in the eye. 410 00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:08,841 I thought that you were awesome. 411 00:19:08,911 --> 00:19:09,969 Stop just saying that. 412 00:19:10,046 --> 00:19:11,445 I am not just saying that. 413 00:19:11,514 --> 00:19:13,505 You can trust that I am telling you the truth. 414 00:19:13,582 --> 00:19:16,574 I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. 415 00:19:16,652 --> 00:19:19,018 And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed. 416 00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:20,851 And if I thought you had done a better job, 417 00:19:20,923 --> 00:19:23,619 I would be saying nicer things right now. 418 00:19:23,693 --> 00:19:26,594 But I thought that you were exactly awesome. 419 00:19:26,662 --> 00:19:28,425 No better, no worse. 420 00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:31,493 Thank you. That feels good. 421 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:36,027 I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. 422 00:19:36,105 --> 00:19:37,697 Total integrity. 423 00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,400 DARRYL: Andy, sing us another song. 424 00:19:39,475 --> 00:19:41,238 Thanks, but I feel like a Ioner right now. 425 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:42,675 Come on, Andy. You were the highlight. 426 00:19:42,745 --> 00:19:44,042 Come on, Andy, seriously. 427 00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:45,273 Andy! Andy! 428 00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:46,440 ALL: Andy! 429 00:19:46,515 --> 00:19:48,574 Andy! Andy! 430 00:19:48,651 --> 00:19:50,175 Okay, all right. 431 00:19:50,252 --> 00:19:53,813 I try to say goodbye And I choke 432 00:19:53,889 --> 00:19:56,483 Try to walk away And I stumble 433 00:19:56,559 --> 00:19:58,823 Though I try to hide it It's clear 434 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:01,795 My world crumbles When you are not here 435 00:20:02,365 --> 00:20:07,667 I play it off but I'm dreaming of you 436 00:20:07,737 --> 00:20:11,070 I keep my cool But I'm fiending 437 00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:14,166 ALL: I try to say goodbye And I choke 438 00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:17,272 Try to walk away And I stumble 439 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,008 Though I try to hide it It's clear 440 00:20:20,082 --> 00:20:23,677 My world crumbles When you are not near 441 00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:26,051 My world 442 00:20:26,155 --> 00:20:27,713 It crumbles 443 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:31,692 When you are not here 444 00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:38,694 445 00:20:46,909 --> 00:20:48,467 In the criminal justice system, 446 00:20:48,544 --> 00:20:52,537 the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, 447 00:20:52,615 --> 00:20:54,048 the police who investigate the crimes, 448 00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:56,812 and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. 449 00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:58,183 These are their stories. 450 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,617 451 00:21:00,189 --> 00:21:01,781 452 00:21:01,857 --> 00:21:04,223 I'm just a cleaning lady. 453 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,260 A dead body! 454 00:21:06,662 --> 00:21:08,994 He wrapped his belt around his own neck. 455 00:21:09,064 --> 00:21:12,227 It looks like a classic case of autoerotic asphyxiation. 456 00:21:12,301 --> 00:21:15,600 Yeah, looks like everybody's tightening their belts in this economy. 457 00:21:15,671 --> 00:21:17,571 �HUMMING LAW and ORDER THEME� 458 00:21:19,175 --> 00:21:21,769 Last time you saw the victim, was he happy? 459 00:21:21,844 --> 00:21:25,439 Last time I saw this John he was... 460 00:21:25,514 --> 00:21:27,448 He wasn't a victim, if you know what I'm talking about. 461 00:21:27,516 --> 00:21:28,744 DIRECTOR: Thank you. No! 462 00:21:28,818 --> 00:21:30,843 That was just part... I was just getting into the first act.