1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,201
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard

2
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,033
Do you know how fast
you were going?

3
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,737
No, I don't, Officer.

4
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,604
Turn that radio off, please.

5
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,908
That's not the radio.
That's the band practicing.

6
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,378
Is that marijuana?

7
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,282
You got a party bowl up there?

8
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,384
Mm, nah.

9
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,220
It's okay, it's okay.
Is it good?

10
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,220
Mm.

11
00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:07,491
Yeah. Open it up!
I'm fucking boarding you!

12
00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:10,627
5-0!
5-0 coming on board.

13
00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:12,797
Officer, you can't
just waltz on in here!

14
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,331
Do you know
who these guys are?

15
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,533
Unplug this shit right now.

16
00:02:18,069 --> 00:02:19,539
No way.

17
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,972
No fucking way.

18
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,553
Holy shit!

19
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,988
You guys are the highway cops

20
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,390
that got shut down
and became local cops.

21
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,726
Then due to some
kinda crazy "incident"...

22
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,593
you got kicked off
of that force,

23
00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:44,961
so you started playing music.

24
00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:47,734
And before you knew it,
you won America's Got Talent.

25
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,067
You're Cracklin' Bacon!

26
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,402
What a long,
strange trip it's been.

27
00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:53,804
I love you guys!

28
00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,705
Oh, I gotta tell my partner.

29
00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:57,307
He's not gonna believe this!
Okay, hold on.

30
00:02:57,309 --> 00:02:59,476
- Dude, you gotta get over here right now.
<i>- Copy.</i>

31
00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,544
He's gonna shit his pants.

32
00:03:00,546 --> 00:03:01,679
You know what
would be hilarious?

33
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,780
When he comes on the bus,

34
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,348
kick him in the nuts
as hard as you can.

35
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,016
- Really?
- Just drill the guy!

36
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,785
What the hell
is going on in here?

37
00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,961
Oh, my God!
You're Cracklin' Bacon!

38
00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:19,864
You guys are my favorite band,
like, ever!

39
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,365
What? You didn't even know
who Cracklin' Bacon was...

40
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,434
until I played them
for you.

41
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,502
Yeah, I did!

42
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,037
Oh, really?
What's your favorite song?

43
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:26,904
"Pulled Pork."

44
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,605
- Yeah? How does it go then?
- Uh...

45
00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:37,882
This guy's got some pipes!

46
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,817
Hey, how would you like
to join Cracklin' Bacon?

47
00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,319
We're looking
for a new lead singer.

48
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:43,488
Holy shit!

49
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,355
Yeah, oh, I can do it
better than him.

50
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,496
Not bad.

51
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,067
You guys clearly
have the sound.

52
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,635
But do you have the moves?
Hit it.

53
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,806
Fist-pumps!

54
00:04:02,808 --> 00:04:04,876
Pelvic thrusts.

55
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,377
Shake your tail feathers.

56
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,679
Shake that ass.

57
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:08,779
Now kiss each other.

58
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,948
I'm sorry. Come again?

59
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,615
Come on, rock and roll!
Rock and roll, baby!

60
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,949
- Do it!
- Kiss him!

61
00:04:12,951 --> 00:04:15,353
Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!

62
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,727
I knew
you were fucking with us.

63
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,028
You're fucking
with us, man!

64
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,830
All right, all right.
You guys clearly have

65
00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:28,165
what it takes
for rock and roll.

66
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,267
But there's one more test
you gotta pass

67
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,869
before we let you
join Cracklin' Bacon.

68
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:36,607
We wanna know if you can
keep up with Juicy Lucy.

69
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,609
She looks
pretty juicy to me.

70
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:40,710
Oh, no, she's
in the back, okay?

71
00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:42,748
But I warn you,
she can be quite a handful.

72
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,148
Let's go handle that!

73
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:48,419
Juicy Lucy!
Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!

74
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,757
About to get juicy up in here!

75
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,689
Hey, baby.

76
00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,058
Hello, Juicy Lucy.

77
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,794
Oh, that's not Lucy.
Lucy's better.

78
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,265
Oh, man!

79
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:01,398
Fellas, on the other side
of this door

80
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,635
is everlasting fame and glory.

81
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,705
You get the giney,
I'll get the hiney.

82
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,479
Say hello to Lucy!

83
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,549
Move it or lose it!
It's time to cruise it!

84
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,683
Let's do it!

85
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,518
Motherfucker!

86
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,929
- Son-of-a-bitch!
- Crap damnit!

87
00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:36,200
We sang our hearts off
for those guys. Our hearts!

88
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:42,408
We got company.

89
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,984
Can't outrun the law,
motherfucker!

90
00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:59,556
Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon!

91
00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:00,857
Whoa!

92
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,167
Oh, shit!

93
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,839
Motherfucker.

94
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,607
Eat it. Eat it.
Eat it. Eat it.

95
00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,413
Ah.

96
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,852
Suck these
fucking bullets, bitch!

97
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,664
Oh, shit! Mac. Hey,
stay with me. Stay with me.

98
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,503
We almost got
those stupid cops...

99
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,074
- ...to kiss.
- Shit.

100
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,846
What's that?

101
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:56,015
What the...

102
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,184
Whoa!

103
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,195
Shit!

104
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,065
Hey.

105
00:07:12,964 --> 00:07:14,732
I still love those guys.

106
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,700
Yeah, they're cool as hell.

107
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,201
I mean, look at him.

108
00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:19,205
Still cool.

109
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:22,573
We should probably hide
that body, though.

110
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,577
Yeah.

111
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,980
Hey, great driving, Thorn!

112
00:07:27,412 --> 00:07:29,046
Thorny? Thorny?

113
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,780
Oh, my God! He's dead!

114
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,215
- Oh, no!
- Ha-ha!

115
00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,784
- Aha!
- I got you, motherfucker!

116
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,891
- I'm not dead! I'm alive!
- He's alive!

117
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,592
Look out!

118
00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,693
Holy...

119
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,642
Ahhh!

120
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,150
You sleeping, baby boy?

121
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,385
No, I'm just checking out
the ceiling, Farva.

122
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,520
Good work up there.

123
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,354
All right, pull out your caulk
and let's go.

124
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,489
What?

125
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,825
Let's go! I'm standing here
with my caulk in my hand.

126
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,326
Grab your caulk,
let's put it in the holes!

127
00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:17,595
Come on, let me see
that big caulk.

128
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,695
Oh, shut up.

129
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:19,996
Show me your Rabbit caulk!

130
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,064
You know
what's funny, Farva?

131
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,633
You've made that joke
400 times

132
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,801
and it still sucks.

133
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,001
Fuck you, Mac.

134
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:26,436
You don't talk to your
site supervisor like that.

135
00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,539
That's one demerit
on your permanent record.

136
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,506
On my permanent
construction record?

137
00:08:30,508 --> 00:08:32,109
That's right. You want
another one, keep it up.

138
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,476
Yeah, give me another
and I'll pinch your dick.

139
00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,812
- That's two. You want to go for three?
- Okay.

140
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,480
Bingo! You got it!
You want another one?

141
00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,149
- Pretty, pretty please.
- You got it!

142
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,450
- You want another one?
- I'll take them all!

143
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,786
That's seven!
You want another one?!

144
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:42,853
Give me ten!

145
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,220
Bingo!

146
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:46,290
Mac! Stop.

147
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:50,061
You mess with the bull,
you get covered in bullshit.

148
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,500
- What a tool.
- Yeah.

149
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,003
I had the craziest dream.

150
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,571
Who were the cops this time?

151
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:01,939
Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.

152
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,074
Did they almost kiss?

153
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,976
Yeah. Yeah.
Almost got them to.

154
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,012
Uh, hello.

155
00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:11,715
- Morning, Mac!
- Good morning, Uncle Argyle.

156
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,685
Code names? Is Farva nearby?

157
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,920
Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.

158
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,187
Do me a favor,
spackle his mouth shut.

159
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,523
<i>Okay, will do.</i>

160
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,659
So, change of location for
this weekend's fishing trip.

161
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:24,295
Just over the Canadian border.

162
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,162
Oh, sweet! I love Canada.

163
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:29,200
Good one!
I'll mail you the address.

164
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,902
- What, like with a stamp? Just text me.
- <i>Text?</i>

165
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,340
Oh, you mean like,
uh, mail text? Yeah.

166
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,941
I do believe I have
that facility on this phone.

167
00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,343
Okay, will do.

168
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,311
That's it. I'm teaching you
how to text this weekend.

169
00:09:41,313 --> 00:09:43,013
- No personal calls, Mac.
- What the fuck?

170
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,748
- Whoop.
- Oh, God damn it, Farva.

171
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,418
- I told you no personal calls.
- It was a sales call.

172
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,720
Oh, yeah?
What were they selling?

173
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,622
Ooh, was it canned salmon?
I love canned salmon.

174
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,791
It's better than tuna,
you know. It's a salty fish.

175
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:54,892
I like a salty fish.

176
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,527
Like a grouper
or maybe a branzino.

177
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,595
Something that really
jerks off your blood pressure.

178
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,132
You know what's salty? Turtle.
You ever had turtle before?

179
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,800
Saltiest part? The shell.

180
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,935
What do I have to say to get
you to end this conversation?

181
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,336
You could say,
"The guy on the phone

182
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,104
was trying to sell me
hard dicks."

183
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,007
The guy on the phone was
trying to sell me hard dicks.

184
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,908
I bet you bought
a baker's dozen.

185
00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:13,109
Let's lay some caulk!

186
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:15,615
I got fresh caulk, everybody!
Hot caulk here.

187
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,681
Who wants caulk?

188
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:21,218
He really wants to leave
right from work, huh?

189
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,223
He said,
"Real men travel light."

190
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,270
God, he looks ridiculous.

191
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,306
No, I think
he looks pretty cool.

192
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,541
Like the Brawny
Paper Towel Guy.

193
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,210
See, I was gonna say
the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.

194
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,311
- Hey, Thorn.
- Hey.

195
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,913
Job sucks.
It's all sap and splinters.

196
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,649
Now it smells like Bombay.

197
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:53,984
- You wanna put that shirt back on?
- Whew!

198
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,119
Breathe it in, little fella.

199
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,619
That's the smell
of a mountain man.

200
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:59,156
Right. Okay, what time you due
back at the hobo zoo?

201
00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:06,229
Hey, hey!

202
00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,531
What's up, guys?

203
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:08,899
Nice ride!

204
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,133
Hey, Chief.

205
00:11:10,135 --> 00:11:11,438
Son of a bitch.

206
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,970
- Ta-da!
- Hey!

207
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:15,473
What's up, Foster?

208
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,541
He is all yours.

209
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,009
I'm tired of him riding
in my sidecar anyway.

210
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,543
That's not what
you said last night.

211
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,079
<i>Chief, we have a 214</i>

212
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,614
<i>out at
the Shuck n' Rack Motel.</i>

213
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,715
<i>Officer needs guidance.</i>

214
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,349
- I'll be right there.
<i>- Copy.</i>

215
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,152
I wish you guys
didn't get fired.

216
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,888
We weren't fired.
We were invited to resign.

217
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,255
- Ah.
- Ooh, I like that.

218
00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:35,057
No, you were fired. There was
that ride-along gone wrong.

219
00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:37,060
Then you were fired.

220
00:11:37,062 --> 00:11:38,662
We'll just have to agree
to disagree.

221
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:39,796
All right.

222
00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,998
Well, you fellas have fun.

223
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,234
Just get him back
in one piece, all right?

224
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,637
With the rod. I'm gonna
need it next weekend.

225
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,704
Hello!

226
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,672
That's my girl.

227
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,375
All right, boys,
let's go fishing.

228
00:11:53,411 --> 00:11:55,177
And the beauty is,
the black is so black

229
00:11:55,179 --> 00:11:56,346
that it's really blue.

230
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,282
I mean,
it's really midnight blue.

231
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,082
Ah, just like
the old days, huh?

232
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,417
Driving around
the countryside,

233
00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:02,987
listening to Thorny
talk about his dick.

234
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,922
- I miss the old days.
- That's bullshit, man.

235
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,523
That Fred Savage thing
was not our fault.

236
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,325
Actors shouldn't
do ride-alongs.

237
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,926
Actors shouldn't even
try to play cops.

238
00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:11,662
I mean,
they never get it right.

239
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,205
- Hey, there.
- How you doin'?

240
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,540
Good. You boys here
for business or pleasure?

241
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,176
- Just going fishing.
- Good timing.

242
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,777
You'll be up to yer tits
in the walleye.

243
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,146
I caught one last week.
Was seven kilograms.

244
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,580
Is that big?

245
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,863
Is that big? That's like nine
decimeters from tip to tail.

246
00:12:33,785 --> 00:12:36,152
- You a jigger man?
- What did you call me?

247
00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:37,321
Well, I like to use
the jigger rod

248
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,622
for when I'm catching
the walleye.

249
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,923
But of course
when you're doing that

250
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,224
you gotta run extra light.

251
00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:44,128
Unless you're someone like
you there in the back.

252
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,963
- What are you, a bodybuilder?
- No.

253
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,630
What do you bench?
Wait, don't tell me.

254
00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:49,365
I don't want you
to embarrass me.

255
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,569
- But I would like two tickets to your gun show.
- Ah, okay.

256
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,504
You guys are good to go.
Sorry to hold ya up.

257
00:12:55,506 --> 00:12:58,377
- Let them go!
- Thanks! Take her easy.

258
00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:01,744
Typical Canadian hardass.

259
00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,047
"Sorry.
I'm really sorry. Sorry."

260
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,748
"Oh, so sorry."

261
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,750
Hey,
fellas, any chance you can

262
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,053
come over to the house later
and play some Sorry?

263
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,322
Sure.
How about nine o'clock?

264
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,191
Ooh,
nine o'clock doesn't work.

265
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,593
Sorry about that.

266
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,327
French ones are the worst. Ha!

267
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,428
Would you
like some <i>ratatouille</i>

268
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,731
with your <i>pain du chocolat?</i>

269
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:25,268
<i>Oui, oui</i>! I'm gonna get
some <i>jambon et fromage.</i>

270
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,505
This can't be it.

271
00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:31,374
Well, this is the address
Cap sent me.

272
00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:34,109
Although he did just learn
how to text.

273
00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:35,345
Now what would compel somebody

274
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,714
to throw a tire
up on the roof?

275
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,215
What, you never played
"Throw the Tire on the Roof"?

276
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:40,383
No, is that the kind of shit

277
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:41,551
you guys played in Rutland?

278
00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:43,923
Sure. Never got
"tired" of that game.

279
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,797
Uh, we are
in the wrong place.

280
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:58,167
No. You're in the right place.

281
00:13:58,169 --> 00:13:59,302
What's the deal
with the creepy,

282
00:13:59,304 --> 00:14:00,470
remote shithole, Cap?

283
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,038
You gonna make us put
the lotion in the basket?

284
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,641
No, I've got a surprise
for you.

285
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,075
I didn't tell you up front
'cause you tend to be

286
00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:08,479
a bunch of
wide-mouth bassholes.

287
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:13,048
Well, then, why don't you let
me reel in these fish, John?

288
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:14,618
Governor Jessman?

289
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,119
Hey, I didn't see
the motorcade.

290
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,656
- We're keeping my visit quiet.
- Mm.

291
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,023
Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.

292
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,691
Show some respect, Mac!

293
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:22,659
Sorry.

294
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,561
I'm here
on official business.

295
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,864
We've got
an intriguing situation

296
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,599
going on in these parts.

297
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,369
With all the heat
on immigration these days,

298
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,036
the U.S. has been
going through

299
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,470
a border reassessment.

300
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:37,273
It turns out that some
of the original stone markers

301
00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:39,442
that delineated
America from Canada,

302
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,813
weren't where
we thought they'd be.

303
00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:43,714
Here is where the border was.

304
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,784
But here is where
we found the stone markers.

305
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,521
So this town,
St. Georges du Laurent,

306
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,422
and the area surrounding it,

307
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,490
are actually on American soil.

308
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:55,926
So we're going to war?

309
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,195
Ah, gee,
that'd be a quick one, eh?

310
00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:00,898
No. After negotiations,

311
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,832
they've agreed
to turn the land over.

312
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:03,801
Vermont's about to get

313
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,636
- a little more head room.
- Hm.

314
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,305
So, it was up to me to find

315
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,773
a temporary police force
to help with the transition.

316
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,009
A group of officers
familiar with the border area,

317
00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:16,846
experienced in patrolling
a stretch of highway.

318
00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:20,883
Guys who maybe caught a bad
break the last time around?

319
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,186
So, you fellas want
a crack at your old jobs?

320
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,925
Easy, you hooligans!
I'm a senior citizen!

321
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,461
And if this two-week
assignment goes well,

322
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,297
I might be able
to make it permanent.

323
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,700
Trust us. It'll go well.

324
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,032
And who are you?

325
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,869
Oh, I'm one of the cops.

326
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,671
We picked him up
outside of Home Depot.

327
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,505
Fantastic.

328
00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:44,575
You'll be phasing out
a Canadian Mountie unit.

329
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,777
We lined up a meet and greet
with them tomorrow.

330
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,480
Oh, yeah!

331
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,682
I wanted to make sure you had
your full team back,

332
00:15:52,684 --> 00:15:54,618
so I tracked down
your other guy too.

333
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,985
No fucking way.

334
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:56,887
Oh, no.

335
00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,356
Sorry I'm late.
Hit a moose doing 90.

336
00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:02,359
Vaporized the beyotch!

337
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,826
You know they have
Eskimo hookers up here?

338
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,930
When they have sex,
they really get "Inuit".

339
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,663
Pelé!

340
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,736
God damn it.

341
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:11,835
Farva, you fuck.

342
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,003
Back in business!

343
00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:40,196
Bullshit! Who ordered these?
I can't feel my tits!

344
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:05,888
Hey!

345
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,323
Desk buddies, guy?

346
00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,560
Are you positive
you want to quit your old job?

347
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,528
I mean,
Construction Supervisor.

348
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,329
And give up the chance
to crack some Canuck melons?

349
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,134
I don't think so, bro-haim.

350
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,668
Body armor, check.

351
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:22,305
Tactical flashlights. Why not?

352
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,440
Ooh, heat vision goggles.
Check.

353
00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:25,743
Why would we need those?

354
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,943
Uh, we're in Canada now,
Rabbit.

355
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,677
What if we have to find
somebody in the snow?

356
00:17:28,679 --> 00:17:29,745
Uh, there is snow in Vermont.

357
00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:31,481
Okay,
I'm the "order stuff" guy.

358
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:32,851
You do your thing. All right?

359
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,384
Okay.

360
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,788
One yellow safety vest
for Rabbit.

361
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,991
Woo! A roving
GPS triangulator.

362
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,459
Triangulator? Get a load
of James Bond over here.

363
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:47,164
Another yellow safety vest
for Thorny.

364
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,698
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn,
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.

365
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,369
Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod.
You're out, he's in.

366
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,370
Okay.

367
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,706
Hey, place looks great!

368
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,074
What have you
been cleaning, Cap?

369
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,377
I'll clean your clock
if you don't watch out.

370
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,880
Okay, let's get started.

371
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,446
Don't push it, Mac.

372
00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,916
Get started
doing some pullovers?

373
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,250
No, we're not doing
your pullovers.

374
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,553
Everything will be
by the book.

375
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:10,655
Everything!

376
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,724
Cap, you know how hard
I worked on this thing?

377
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:17,526
Big face, big mustache.

378
00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:19,329
I don't care how big
your face is. Shave it!

379
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,397
Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!

380
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,464
I'm good, right?

381
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,532
I got a tight mouth-muff.

382
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:26,269
- Talk about big faces.
- That's face-ism, Cap.

383
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,138
Not regulation! Shave it!

384
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,041
Right! Let's go
and see some Mounties.

385
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,981
Remember the three
B's: Best Behavior, Boys.

386
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:39,851
Hey.

387
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:44,053
- How's it going?
- Feels like 1983 in here.

388
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:45,588
Oh, there they are.

389
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:47,590
I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.

390
00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:50,394
Mayor of Saint Georges
du Laurent, Canada!

391
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663
Or, as it's about to be known:

392
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,398
St. George of Lawrence,
America.

393
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,435
I don't know. I'm not so good
with American. Welcome.

394
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:00,169
Uh, the Guy LeFranc?

395
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:02,438
From the Montreal Canadiens
Minor League system?

396
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,875
The leading scorer
of the Halifax Bear Eaters?

397
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,743
Eighth most points
in CHL history.

398
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,111
Yeah, I know. Two points
behind Shotti Fitznugly.

399
00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:10,179
Look at this guy!

400
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:11,415
I love hockey.

401
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,782
Your nickname, um,

402
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,517
don't tell me,
it was, uh, "The Explosion".

403
00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:16,387
"The Halifax Explosion."

404
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,420
Named after
the single greatest

405
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,890
man-made explosion
before Hiroshima.

406
00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:22,591
It was 1917,

407
00:19:22,593 --> 00:19:24,026
ship laden with dynamite

408
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:26,429
crashed into another ship
in Halifax Harbor.

409
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,997
Tremendous explosion
and loss of life.

410
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:29,733
Burned people's eyes out
with the blast.

411
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,401
Many were blinded
by the light.

412
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,534
Like the song says.

413
00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,138
And a First Nations tribe
was lost.

414
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,639
Probably would've
happened to them anyway,

415
00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:38,207
but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh?

416
00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:42,178
So, I am the second biggest
explosion from Halifax.

417
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,312
But enough about me.

418
00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:44,747
Meet the Mounties. Guys!

419
00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:46,949
Guys, come on over here.

420
00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:50,119
This here is Sergeant Major
Roger Archambault.

421
00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:53,823
This is Staff Sergeant Major
Henri Podein,

422
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:56,392
and Sergeant
Christophe Bellefuille.

423
00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:57,694
Total gobbledygook.

424
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,597
I'm John O'Hagan.
This is Rod Farva,

425
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,567
Robbie Roto, Carl Foster,
MacIntyre Womack

426
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,369
and Arcot Ramathorn.

427
00:20:08,806 --> 00:20:10,205
I'll let
you guys chew the cud.

428
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,707
Why don't we go fuck off
to the other room here?

429
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:14,011
Yeah, sure.

430
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,384
I'm gonna get a Schlitz!
That's American for beer.

431
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,719
So, you do guys
ride horses or...

432
00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:25,288
Yeah, this isn't 1957.

433
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,823
We drive Crown Victorias.

434
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,657
Hey, us too.
You get a little soup in them,

435
00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:31,026
they can really rip
your knob off. Am I right?

436
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,130
We hear about you guy, heh?

437
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:37,433
Because first, you get your
highway station shut down.

438
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:39,101
And then, you get kick out

439
00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:41,873
from your second job
because of this, uh,

440
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,407
Fred Savage thing.

441
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,676
"Savage."

442
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,310
Makes it
sound intriguing, at least.

443
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,279
So, what are you going to do here?

444
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,613
Go for the hat trick?

445
00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:54,029
Well, we're actually hoping
to hold on to these jobs.

446
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,719
What are you guys
doing after the turnover?

447
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,590
Oh, they're transferring us
up to Labrador City.

448
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,657
- Oh!
- Cool.

449
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:01,992
It's cool, all right.

450
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,494
Average winter temperature
is minus 18 degrees Celsius!

451
00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:07,129
Yeah, all you have
to do to convert

452
00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:10,567
is times two, add 32 and join
the rest of the human race.

453
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,667
Hey, Rookie,

454
00:21:11,669 --> 00:21:13,035
they got non-alcoholic Molsons
over here.

455
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,370
Want me to get you
a half carafe?

456
00:21:15,372 --> 00:21:18,641
Oh, we got a rookie there?
They shave your nuts yet?

457
00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:20,377
Canadian tradition says
you got to shave

458
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,544
the rook's nuts,
otherwise it's bad luck.

459
00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:24,080
- You don't say?
- Bad luck?

460
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,715
I'm actually not a rookie...

461
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,184
Which one of you guys
has least seniority?

462
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,584
I mean, technically I...

463
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:30,821
Shave this guy ball!

464
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,655
Come on,
shave both of his ball.

465
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:36,260
Shave your ball, your dick.

466
00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,860
Hello,
hello! Welcome to Canada.

467
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,664
I'm Genevieve Aubois,

468
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:43,166
Cultural Attaché
of Saint Georges du Laurent.

469
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,636
I will see that
things go smoothly

470
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,036
in the next few weeks.

471
00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:49,371
And please,
if you have any questions,

472
00:21:49,373 --> 00:21:51,043
don't hesitate to ask.

473
00:21:54,978 --> 00:21:57,046
Keep heading north,
big fella.

474
00:21:57,048 --> 00:21:59,649
You don't look at the mantel when you're
poking the fire, you know what I'm saying?

475
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,131
- Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right?
- Jesus, Farva.

476
00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:03,753
Okay.

477
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:06,423
Well, they are waiting for us
in the other room.

478
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:08,792
So, please, <i>suivez-moi.</i>

479
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,463
Who is waiting where?

480
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,810
Boy, I didn't know the whole
town was gonna be here.

481
00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:40,157
Oh.

482
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:42,592
It's about my
mustache, right?

483
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,894
They're laughing
at my mustache?

484
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,795
Please, let's give a big
Canadian welcome

485
00:22:46,797 --> 00:22:49,599
to the Vermont Highway Patrol.

486
00:22:51,902 --> 00:22:53,235
Hey, hey, everyone!

487
00:22:53,237 --> 00:22:54,504
Come on, guys.
They've come up here

488
00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:55,571
to tell us how great
it's gonna be

489
00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:56,872
for all of us
to become Americans.

490
00:22:56,874 --> 00:22:59,010
So, let them speak. Captain?

491
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,744
Uh...

492
00:23:01,746 --> 00:23:04,214
<i>Bonsoir.</i>

493
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,951
You know, this reminds me
of the story of the rabbi,

494
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:11,053
the priest,
and the Hindu in a canoe.

495
00:23:11,055 --> 00:23:12,621
Go blow yourself!

496
00:23:13,891 --> 00:23:15,724
I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I...

497
00:23:15,726 --> 00:23:18,094
Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!

498
00:23:19,063 --> 00:23:21,464
Hey, easy.
Hey, look, look.

499
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,699
Technically,
we're all Americans, right?

500
00:23:23,701 --> 00:23:25,267
North Americans.

501
00:23:25,269 --> 00:23:27,804
Very little is gonna change
around here.

502
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,038
Oh, yeah, right!
You're probably gonna tell us

503
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,473
we can't listen
to Rush anymore!

504
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,907
Or the Barenaked Ladies!

505
00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:34,410
Hey. Hey. Hey!

506
00:23:34,412 --> 00:23:35,712
People, people.

507
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,647
I love Rush
and the Barenaked Ladies.

508
00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:38,848
You should listen to both.

509
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,817
So, you are telling us
who to listen to!

510
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:41,951
No, no. I'm just...

511
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,019
And then that one's
gonna tell us

512
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,454
we have to start
eating tortillas!

513
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:46,825
- It's a common mistake.
- Bullshit!

514
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,692
Hey! Listen up.

515
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:50,793
This is America now.
Like it or lump it!

516
00:23:50,795 --> 00:23:52,262
Repeat after me:

517
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,631
I pledge of allegiance
to the flag

518
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,169
of the United States
of America.

519
00:23:58,704 --> 00:23:59,969
Learn the words!

520
00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:01,503
Learn the words!

521
00:24:01,505 --> 00:24:02,507
Fuck you!

522
00:24:10,114 --> 00:24:11,880
You don't even know
how to play hockey!

523
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:16,852
I didn't think they'd see us
as an occupying force.

524
00:24:16,854 --> 00:24:18,420
Oh, my God!
Your eye.

525
00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:19,789
That might leave a scar.

526
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,031
I was looking
too pretty anyway.

527
00:24:22,092 --> 00:24:23,859
I can sew you up at my car.

528
00:24:23,861 --> 00:24:25,026
You're a doctor?

529
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,128
No, no. I coach
the girls' hockey team,

530
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,301
so I know my way
around a gash.

531
00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:31,067
Are you making a...

532
00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:34,771
<i>Oui</i> . A double entendre
for <i>la vagine.</i>

533
00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,474
Let's go, quickly!

534
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:40,810
I thought Canadians
are supposed to be harmless.

535
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,579
Oh, come on.
Cut them some slack.

536
00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:44,446
They're upset
about losing their identities.

537
00:24:44,448 --> 00:24:47,449
They called you an old donkey.
Doesn't that piss you off?

538
00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:48,818
Well, I don't love it.

539
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,186
Actually, I didn't sleep
at all last night.

540
00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:52,488
But we got a job to do.

541
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,890
- Rabbit, how's your head?
- It's okay.

542
00:24:54,892 --> 00:24:59,263
That, uh... Genevieve,
she, uh, patched me up.

543
00:25:01,365 --> 00:25:02,331
Oh, please!

544
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,967
Frenchy had her eyes
on my thighs all night long.

545
00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:06,101
- Yeah.
- Did she, now?

546
00:25:06,103 --> 00:25:07,337
Oh, yeah?
Keep laughing.

547
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,638
I bet you a buck I bang
the crêpe out of her first.

548
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:10,807
Okay.

549
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,042
Put your money
where your mouth's been.

550
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:14,778
Fuck the buck.
Loser sits on a cactus.

551
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,978
No, loser gets a perm.

552
00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:19,916
No, loser cuts his
pinky-toe off with a shovel.

553
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,517
Take that bet.

554
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,520
- I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly.
- Jump on it.

555
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,721
Please shut up, Farva.

556
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:26,188
Okay. We have a deal.

557
00:25:26,190 --> 00:25:27,657
You heard it, right?
We have a deal.

558
00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:30,327
Oh, so, this is where they
keep the illegal aliens, huh?

559
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:32,328
Ah, welcome, Officers!

560
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:33,964
Welcome to the guys
who stood around

561
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,630
while people threw
hockey pucks at us?

562
00:25:35,632 --> 00:25:36,765
You gonna
come up here talking

563
00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:38,334
all that
"Make America Great" crap,

564
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,170
you're bound to catch a face
full of Canadian tomato.

565
00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,539
Okay, okay.
Listen up.

566
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,507
Two of you are gonna ride
with the Mounties.

567
00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,341
They'll show you where
the bodies are buried.

568
00:25:46,343 --> 00:25:48,344
- Not it.
- Actually, it is you two.

569
00:25:49,413 --> 00:25:51,414
It's not our idea
of a good time either, fellas.

570
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,953
Personally, I'd rather
fuck a moose.

571
00:25:54,852 --> 00:25:56,552
You would need a ladder
to do that.

572
00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:59,955
Obviously, I would need
a ladder to fuck a moose.

573
00:25:59,957 --> 00:26:02,926
But I would find one,
and I would fuck that moose.

574
00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:04,093
Okay!

575
00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,596
Thorny, Rabbit,
I got a highway job for you.

576
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:07,599
Let's do it!

577
00:26:11,969 --> 00:26:13,668
Hey, Cap? Cap?

578
00:26:13,670 --> 00:26:14,971
Whose car do I ride in?

579
00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:17,040
Why don't you
stay here with me?

580
00:26:17,042 --> 00:26:18,640
Sit over here.

581
00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:20,011
That's the radio, though.

582
00:26:20,411 --> 00:26:21,378
Great idea!

583
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,813
That way, if a call comes in,
you can answer it.

584
00:26:24,815 --> 00:26:26,081
Huh?

585
00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:30,052
Okay, just today, though,
okay?

586
00:26:30,054 --> 00:26:32,358
Everyone takes a turn.
It's a new station.

587
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:35,727
Fuckin' radio.

588
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:39,598
What the fuck is this shit?

589
00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,732
I mean, it's not gonna
kill him, is it?

590
00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:45,070
I don't know. Do you
want it to kill him?

591
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:47,803
<i>Allons-y!</i>

592
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:50,674
Just a minute!

593
00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,042
Just a, uh...

594
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,976
What's Canadian
for "minute"?

595
00:26:58,784 --> 00:26:59,983
Ah.

596
00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,520
There they are. Okay.

597
00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:04,255
Hm.

598
00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,861
Are you swallowing
MandM's whole?

599
00:27:12,863 --> 00:27:15,500
Yeah. The green ones
make me horny.

600
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:19,301
Why don't you chew them first?

601
00:27:19,303 --> 00:27:22,073
They all go
to the same place, right?

602
00:27:27,344 --> 00:27:29,011
<i>Hey, Farva,
can I get a radio check?</i>

603
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,454
Why did you shock
your buddy, buddy?

604
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,891
You know, every job has that
one guy that you love to hate.

605
00:27:42,893 --> 00:27:44,593
Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish.

606
00:27:44,595 --> 00:27:47,097
Oh, yeah, you mean like
your typical American?

607
00:27:51,268 --> 00:27:52,703
Still waiting
on that radio check.

608
00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:01,679
Fuckin' shit!

609
00:28:02,412 --> 00:28:03,980
This is an awesome assignment.

610
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:06,582
Oh, come on, it's great.
Outside. On duty.

611
00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:10,352
Hey, what's 80 kilometers
per hour in English?

612
00:28:10,354 --> 00:28:14,057
I guess
49.7097 miles per hour.

613
00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:16,024
Uh, I don't think
we have any decimals.

614
00:28:16,026 --> 00:28:18,195
- Do you have a Sharpie?
- Uh, no.

615
00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:20,964
<i>Unit 23. Come in, 23.
Unit 23. Come in, 23.</i>

616
00:28:20,966 --> 00:28:23,965
Radio, until the turnover,
we have to keep things metric.

617
00:28:23,967 --> 00:28:28,603
So we are now Unit 37.015.
Try again.

618
00:28:28,605 --> 00:28:29,539
Whatever.

619
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:33,042
I got a call out
on Rue de Autoroute 77

620
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,776
or some
<i>Frère Jacques</i> bullshit.

621
00:28:34,778 --> 00:28:37,179
There's a gaggle of dead
Canadian Geese on the road.

622
00:28:37,181 --> 00:28:39,282
Yeah, up here, they just
call them geese, Radio.

623
00:28:39,284 --> 00:28:41,384
<i>Yeah, well, in two weeks,
I call them American Geese.</i>

624
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,185
Honk, honk. Go clean them off.

625
00:28:43,187 --> 00:28:46,891
That's a big 16.09-6436,
good buddy.

626
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:51,359
Ah, ya,
there's the Pancake Shed.

627
00:28:51,361 --> 00:28:53,329
And that's the Flapjack's.

628
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:54,496
Oh, there on the right,

629
00:28:54,498 --> 00:28:56,599
that's Gigi's Bait,
Tackle and Pancakes.

630
00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:59,202
- But they're really known more for their waffles.
- Yeah, they are.

631
00:28:59,204 --> 00:29:01,503
Sounds like the Queen
must really love pancakes.

632
00:29:01,505 --> 00:29:03,039
What's that supposed to mean?

633
00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:05,375
Aren't you guys still
ruled by the Queen of England?

634
00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:06,442
I mean, she's
all over your money.

635
00:29:06,444 --> 00:29:07,510
I'll have you know that

636
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,312
we achieved
our independence in 1982.

637
00:29:10,314 --> 00:29:11,580
- Ooh!
- Oh!

638
00:29:11,582 --> 00:29:13,215
1982.

639
00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:15,685
Did Wham! perform at the ceremony?

640
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:17,620
Maybe if we had
our independence sooner,

641
00:29:17,622 --> 00:29:19,588
we'd have no gun control,
not believe in evolution

642
00:29:19,590 --> 00:29:22,694
and all be morbidly obese
without healthcare.

643
00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,462
Why don't you
pull in right up here?

644
00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:28,867
Time for you to meet
the local business owners.

645
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:48,917
Escorts?

646
00:29:48,919 --> 00:29:50,253
Here we are, boys.

647
00:29:56,627 --> 00:29:58,494
Are we here
to bust up a cat-house?

648
00:29:58,496 --> 00:30:00,830
You can't arrest
people for having boners.

649
00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:02,264
It's legal up here, Yank.

650
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:04,466
A hockey-themed,
dual-sex bordello.

651
00:30:04,468 --> 00:30:06,101
Do we have that in the U.S.?

652
00:30:06,103 --> 00:30:07,703
I don't know,
but put me in, Coach.

653
00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:09,538
Oh, oh! Look who it is!
It's the fuzz.

654
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,273
The Mayor hangs out
in a bordello?

655
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,908
No, the Mayor
own the bordello.

656
00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:14,843
Here you go, boys.

657
00:30:14,845 --> 00:30:16,911
How about a beer and a tug?
On the house.

658
00:30:16,913 --> 00:30:18,648
- Hey!
- Oh, uh...

659
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,616
Uh, maybe later.

660
00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:22,385
Oh, I understand.
Scram, girls.

661
00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:24,986
- How's it going, eh?
- Yeah, no, no. Maybe later.

662
00:30:24,988 --> 00:30:26,188
You guys!

663
00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:27,590
You don't like women,
you don't like men.

664
00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,559
I mean, what should I get, a
river beaver to pleasure you?

665
00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,361
It's a joke. Their teeth are so
sharp, it would be horrible.

666
00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:33,597
How can I help you fellas?

667
00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,665
Oh, the Yanks want to talk
about their U.S. laws.

668
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,899
You know,
like serving weaker beer

669
00:30:37,901 --> 00:30:39,836
and shutting down brothels.

670
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,270
Shutting down
brothels?

671
00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:42,405
Who put you up to this?

672
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,572
Was it Jean-Paul
down at Chez Poontang?

673
00:30:44,574 --> 00:30:46,109
Huh?
You guys pulling my chain?

674
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:47,176
Look, I don't think
this is anything

675
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,610
we need to get
too hung up on right now.

676
00:30:48,612 --> 00:30:49,978
I can't believe
down in the States,

677
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:51,880
it's illegal to have a beer
and enjoy tits and a dick.

678
00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:54,250
I mean, beep beep!

679
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:55,952
- There's no harm there.
- Oh. Uh...

680
00:30:57,956 --> 00:30:59,722
- Good workout, eh?
- Wow.

681
00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:02,524
Honestly, Guy, we're not
here to lay down any laws.

682
00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:04,693
We're very sorry if there's
been a misunderstanding.

683
00:31:04,695 --> 00:31:07,562
"We're sahrry?" "Sahrry."

684
00:31:09,233 --> 00:31:11,303
I'm sorry,
but that sounds stupid.

685
00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:14,436
- So sahrry.
- Sahrry.

686
00:31:14,438 --> 00:31:16,339
It's funny. I know.

687
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:19,208
And what exactly
is your beef with our beer?

688
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,708
Oh, I don't have
any problem with the beer.

689
00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:22,611
I mean, I think the limit in the U.S.
is what, nine percent?

690
00:31:22,613 --> 00:31:25,113
Nine percent? How are you
supposed to get drunk?

691
00:31:25,115 --> 00:31:26,482
I mean, you know,

692
00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:28,083
I think the idea is you drink
more of the weaker stuff.

693
00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,252
I bet it is.

694
00:31:29,254 --> 00:31:30,753
You Americans drinking
and eating everything.

695
00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:33,255
- Oh, no, you shouldn't.
- So fat.

696
00:31:33,257 --> 00:31:34,823
How about a little help
over here, huh?

697
00:31:34,825 --> 00:31:37,060
Yeah, I don't think we have
jurisdiction here anymore, buddy.

698
00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,528
Okay, all right.

699
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,329
It's not like we're here to
"screw you" out of your rights.

700
00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:41,898
Darn tootin' you're not.

701
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:42,999
Okay, look, relax.

702
00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,266
Go away, you American pigs!

703
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,003
- Go home!
- Oh!

704
00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,205
Take it easy.

705
00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:50,876
Fight, fight, fight, fight!

706
00:31:52,377 --> 00:31:53,976
Sorry about that.
It was an accident.

707
00:31:59,516 --> 00:32:00,718
Get out of here!

708
00:32:05,189 --> 00:32:06,390
Get the fuck off me.

709
00:32:07,691 --> 00:32:09,593
Fuck you, motherfuckers.
Fuck you!

710
00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:15,997
- Vermont sucks, eh!
- Thank you.

711
00:32:15,999 --> 00:32:17,367
See you later, sunshine!

712
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:20,035
- Stupid Americans!
- Cheerio!

713
00:32:20,037 --> 00:32:23,004
Okay, this job isn't as fun
as I thought it was.

714
00:32:23,006 --> 00:32:24,106
Arrogant American!

715
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:26,375
The whole world's metric.
What's your problem, eh?

716
00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:27,676
Just doing our job, sir.

717
00:32:27,678 --> 00:32:29,445
You're 185 centimeters tall,

718
00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:31,582
you weigh 92 kilogram.
Get used to it!

719
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,582
Okay.

720
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:36,418
Your authority don't mean
cheese up here.

721
00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,888
I can't tell if he's
calling me skinny or fat.

722
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,122
<i>Officers requesting assistance</i>

723
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,091
<i>at the L'Explosion Bordello
on Route Four.</i>

724
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,292
We are under assault
by hookers.

725
00:32:44,294 --> 00:32:45,593
Lots of them. Male and female.

726
00:32:45,595 --> 00:32:47,530
Copy, 91.
We'll be right there.

727
00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:49,532
Just as soon as we
finish taking selfies

728
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,699
with the Victoria's Secret
Blow Job Team.

729
00:32:51,701 --> 00:32:54,204
<i>I'm not kidding, Thorny!
There's too many of them.</i>

730
00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:55,603
Will you get your dick
out of my face!

731
00:32:55,605 --> 00:32:57,372
<i>I just... I got glitter!</i>

732
00:32:57,374 --> 00:32:59,175
Glittering and...
Glittering and...

733
00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:01,342
I love it.
It's like we never left.

734
00:33:03,380 --> 00:33:06,448
What the hell?
Remote driver?

735
00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:07,651
Ghost car?

736
00:33:16,393 --> 00:33:18,360
We drilled that sign!

737
00:33:18,362 --> 00:33:19,563
They're kids.

738
00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:21,363
Give me those keys.

739
00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,499
Ow! No biting,
you little shitsky!

740
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:24,567
What's your name, kid?

741
00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:25,968
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!

742
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,169
Where did you get the car?

743
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,739
Suck it, cop!

744
00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:34,076
Holy Christmas.

745
00:33:34,078 --> 00:33:35,544
Oh, my God.

746
00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:37,379
They're all hopped up
on goofballs.

747
00:33:37,381 --> 00:33:39,583
You can't catch me!

748
00:33:40,384 --> 00:33:42,150
I'm gonna get my
bean bag gun!

749
00:33:42,152 --> 00:33:43,218
Show me where you got these

750
00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:44,387
and I'll let you
play with my Taser.

751
00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:45,623
Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

752
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:49,558
We gotta be careful.

753
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,197
This is the kind of image
that could go viral.

754
00:33:53,296 --> 00:33:54,463
There!

755
00:33:58,503 --> 00:34:00,472
All right. Whoa,
whoa, whoa, boys.

756
00:34:02,473 --> 00:34:04,142
Stay! Stay.

757
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:26,061
What's up, Soapy?

758
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:27,064
More pills?

759
00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,902
Did Apple change their logo?

760
00:34:32,235 --> 00:34:33,604
What have we here?

761
00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:36,405
Cubans.

762
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:38,173
Must make you feel
right at home.

763
00:34:38,175 --> 00:34:39,640
Good one.

764
00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,142
Pills, pills, pills!

765
00:34:41,144 --> 00:34:42,211
Oh, boy.

766
00:34:45,849 --> 00:34:48,184
<i>Viva la revolución,</i> baby!

767
00:34:48,186 --> 00:34:49,484
- Ay, ay, ay!
- Ugh.

768
00:34:49,486 --> 00:34:50,986
You ever hear
of the Cuban Embargo?

769
00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:52,655
That embargo
is yesterday's news.

770
00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:53,923
Not for me it isn't.

771
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,595
That's like sucking
Castro's cold wrinkled dick.

772
00:34:58,530 --> 00:34:59,762
Cuban cigars,

773
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,763
counterfeit iPhones
and unmarked pills.

774
00:35:01,765 --> 00:35:02,999
We got something here.

775
00:35:03,001 --> 00:35:05,934
You boys stumbled
on quite a booty closet.

776
00:35:05,936 --> 00:35:07,068
A what now?

777
00:35:07,070 --> 00:35:08,838
Booty. Contraband.

778
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,773
What? They don't say
"booty" anymore?

779
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,776
- Not really, no.
- Nah.

780
00:35:13,577 --> 00:35:14,709
Canadian counterfeit iPhones?

781
00:35:14,711 --> 00:35:17,044
We should call them
"A"-Phones, eh? Right?

782
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:26,055
They all have the same number?
That's a rip-off.

783
00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:28,323
So, what pills do we have?

784
00:35:28,325 --> 00:35:29,591
Not sure.

785
00:35:29,593 --> 00:35:32,028
Five different kinds.
None of them have markings.

786
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:33,195
Send them to the lab.

787
00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:35,330
I tried! The U.S. lab said
send them to the Canadian lab.

788
00:35:35,332 --> 00:35:36,432
The Canadian lab said,

789
00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:37,566
"Oh, ya, hey there.

790
00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:38,600
"Send 'em over
to the U.S. lab there."

791
00:35:38,602 --> 00:35:39,968
Maybe the Mounties
have some pull?

792
00:35:39,970 --> 00:35:41,604
Boo!

793
00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:42,671
Fuck the Mounties!

794
00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:43,939
- Fuckin' Canada.
- Fuck that.

795
00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:45,740
For all we know,
this was the Mounties.

796
00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:47,742
Easy on the local cop
conspiracies.

797
00:35:47,744 --> 00:35:49,945
We'll solve
this case ourselves.

798
00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:51,546
I'll put a call
out to Montpelier,

799
00:35:51,548 --> 00:35:54,283
see if they can
line up a lab for us.

800
00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:56,519
Wah, wah!
I don't need some nerd

801
00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:58,201
in a lab coat
to tell me what this shit is.

802
00:36:01,691 --> 00:36:03,658
Sometimes even
I've gotta hand it to you,

803
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,959
you weird son of a bitch.

804
00:36:04,961 --> 00:36:06,662
But why is it that
you chew a pill

805
00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:08,564
yet you swallow MandM's whole?

806
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,934
I'm a complicated guy, Mac.

807
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,303
Okay. All right.

808
00:36:13,637 --> 00:36:15,504
See you boys
in the Renaissance Period.

809
00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,571
Huzzah!

810
00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:24,981
Can't move.

811
00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,716
My mouth's dry.

812
00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:28,249
What do you think,
like a heavy barbiturate?

813
00:36:28,251 --> 00:36:29,417
Maybe a muscle relaxant?

814
00:36:29,419 --> 00:36:30,852
You really can't move?

815
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:33,821
I'm numb. I'm totally numb.

816
00:36:33,823 --> 00:36:35,360
Okay.

817
00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:37,593
What are you doing?

818
00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:38,693
Oh!

819
00:36:38,695 --> 00:36:40,829
Fuck you, Mac.
I need medical attention.

820
00:36:40,831 --> 00:36:43,298
Side effects may include
fatness and irritability.

821
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:45,069
I think it's a mood enhancer.

822
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:47,903
God damn it.

823
00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,305
I know I'm in a better mood.

824
00:36:50,307 --> 00:36:51,372
Do we have
any more fly strips?

825
00:36:51,374 --> 00:36:52,874
I want to make him a headband.

826
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,582
- That's gotta be speed, right?
- Absolutely.

827
00:37:01,584 --> 00:37:04,019
Wow. You seem kinda wired.

828
00:37:04,021 --> 00:37:05,988
I'm just psyched
to be back on the job!

829
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,722
<i>Yeah, okay, well,
I knew you would be.</i>

830
00:37:07,724 --> 00:37:08,791
Ooh, did I tell ya the oth...

831
00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:09,992
Oh, yeah, I got,
I got a triangulator.

832
00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:11,994
Why would you
need a triangulator?

833
00:37:11,996 --> 00:37:13,095
Why does everyone
keep saying that?

834
00:37:13,097 --> 00:37:14,930
To triangulate, baby!

835
00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:16,231
Hey, how come we never
go dancing anymore?

836
00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:19,167
When I get home, we're
gonna go fuckin' dancing.

837
00:37:19,169 --> 00:37:20,234
Okay. I can't wait.

838
00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:23,539
Rabbit, get
me some lemonade.

839
00:37:23,541 --> 00:37:26,041
Rabbit. Get me
some lemonade, please.

840
00:37:27,010 --> 00:37:29,544
Get me some
goddamn lemonade, rookie!

841
00:37:29,546 --> 00:37:31,814
Don't you call me rookie,
you fucker!

842
00:37:31,816 --> 00:37:34,082
I will fucking put my fist
right through your head!

843
00:37:34,084 --> 00:37:35,785
- I'm thinkin' 'roids.
- Absolutely.

844
00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:37,486
How about you?
You feel anything?

845
00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:40,155
Wet mouth. Sweaty palms.

846
00:37:40,157 --> 00:37:44,892
Moist ear canals. And I'm
just feeling emotional.

847
00:37:44,894 --> 00:37:46,664
Hm. Okay.

848
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,167
I think you took
a Canadian female

849
00:37:52,169 --> 00:37:55,970
sexual enhancement drug
called Flova Scotia.

850
00:37:55,972 --> 00:37:58,472
"Made in Canada,
but banned in the U.S."

851
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:04,579
<i>When the time is right,</i>

852
00:38:04,581 --> 00:38:05,916
<i>but you're not.</i>

853
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,917
<i>Flova Scotia, eh?</i>

854
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:10,218
<i>Side effects may include</i>

855
00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:12,287
<i>wet mouth, sweaty palms,
damp ears, moist groin,</i>

856
00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:15,925
<i>varicose breasts, hair loss,
queefing, and bitchiness.</i>

857
00:38:15,927 --> 00:38:18,026
<i>Flova Scotia, eh?</i>

858
00:38:18,028 --> 00:38:20,396
You can say "queefing"
on Canadian TV?

859
00:38:20,398 --> 00:38:21,796
Ha! What a country!

860
00:38:21,798 --> 00:38:23,564
What about you?
You're awful smiley.

861
00:38:23,566 --> 00:38:24,767
I'm on acid.

862
00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,003
Pharmaceutical acid?
Is there such a thing?

863
00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:29,070
Don't know. But I do know
you have exactly

864
00:38:29,072 --> 00:38:31,307
1,509 hairs in your mustache.

865
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:34,977
Close! 1,521. I had them
counted for my birthday.

866
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,812
- Really?
- Yeah.

867
00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,448
- Really?
- Yeah!

868
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,749
I don't know
what to believe, Thorn!

869
00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:42,651
- Okay.
- Don't you do that.

870
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,119
I'm really looking
forward to this.

871
00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:45,122
Well?

872
00:38:46,055 --> 00:38:47,222
You guys come up
with anything?

873
00:38:47,224 --> 00:38:49,825
Indeed we have some
very interesting leads.

874
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,225
Some of them
from that computer!

875
00:38:51,227 --> 00:38:53,762
I think that we are
on top of this case.

876
00:38:53,764 --> 00:38:55,296
We're gonna
find out who did this

877
00:38:55,298 --> 00:38:58,001
and we're gonna stomp in
their stupid fucking faces!

878
00:38:58,501 --> 00:38:59,769
Okay.

879
00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,671
Well, the shack's a dead end.

880
00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:04,138
It's on abandoned land owned
by a defunct mining company.

881
00:39:04,140 --> 00:39:06,207
So, anyone could have
put the booty out there.

882
00:39:07,610 --> 00:39:08,979
Why you laughing, Guy Smiley?

883
00:39:14,985 --> 00:39:17,218
Okay, if we
stake out the shack

884
00:39:17,220 --> 00:39:19,588
maybe we can catch
someone coming or going.

885
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:20,655
Let's get back out there.

886
00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:25,227
Farva, hit the radio.

887
00:39:39,175 --> 00:39:40,642
You hearing this?

888
00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:42,477
Come on! Hit the radio!

889
00:39:42,479 --> 00:39:44,048
Farva! Come on!

890
00:39:51,088 --> 00:39:53,222
Uh-oh.

891
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,657
Woo-hoo!

892
00:39:54,659 --> 00:39:56,425
I love grass!

893
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,193
I love life!

894
00:39:58,195 --> 00:39:59,563
I love music!

895
00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:02,597
Think puppies,
not steroids.

896
00:40:02,599 --> 00:40:04,800
Think puppies, not steroids.

897
00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:07,372
Smiling. Puppies.

898
00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:11,342
Whew!

899
00:40:15,878 --> 00:40:18,747
Bunnies! Bunnies!

900
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,483
Hi, bunny. Hi.

901
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:23,986
Rabbit. My name's Rabbit.
Oh, so cute little thing.

902
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,423
Bub, bub, bub, bub.

903
00:40:37,867 --> 00:40:39,702
Just stay there!

904
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,740
Feel the steroids melting away.

905
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,843
Don't let the job
stress you out.

906
00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,044
I love the job.

907
00:40:50,046 --> 00:40:52,780
Doesn't stress me out.
Farva stresses me out.

908
00:40:52,782 --> 00:40:53,981
Such a shame.

909
00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:56,621
Why are the good-looking ones
always so obnoxious?

910
00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:58,921
You think he's good-looking?

911
00:41:00,390 --> 00:41:03,892
"The bigger the cushion,
the better the pushing."

912
00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:06,095
- No.
- No.

913
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:09,265
I would rather have sex
with a baboon.

914
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,600
It's funny though, huh?

915
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,436
We all have that one
horrible person we work with.

916
00:41:14,438 --> 00:41:17,740
For me, it's my office manager
Lonnie Laloush.

917
00:41:17,742 --> 00:41:21,175
Oh, he can be
such a "deeckwad".

918
00:41:21,177 --> 00:41:23,278
What?

919
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,345
It's just with your accent,

920
00:41:24,347 --> 00:41:26,314
the way you say "dickwad"
is adorable.

921
00:41:26,316 --> 00:41:28,649
No, but it's true.
He is a deeckwad.

922
00:41:31,521 --> 00:41:33,689
First you steal our job

923
00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:34,856
and now you sit here

924
00:41:34,858 --> 00:41:37,294
gazing lovingly
into the eyes of our women.

925
00:41:37,727 --> 00:41:39,260
Your women?

926
00:41:39,262 --> 00:41:41,162
Well, maybe we should
take him in the back,

927
00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,265
give him
Canadian handshake, eh?

928
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:44,265
What's that?

929
00:41:44,267 --> 00:41:46,901
Let's just say it involve
a bag of hockey puck

930
00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:49,437
and a lot of warm gravy.

931
00:41:49,439 --> 00:41:50,606
Mm. Sounds delicious.

932
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:52,140
Make way!

933
00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:54,044
Hot soup coming through!

934
00:41:54,878 --> 00:41:57,345
Oh, Canadian standoff, huh?

935
00:41:57,347 --> 00:41:59,146
Oh, it look like
professor Stephen Hawking

936
00:41:59,148 --> 00:42:01,015
has really let himself
go these days.

937
00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,287
When God created Canada,

938
00:42:06,289 --> 00:42:09,390
it was like
the universe farted.

939
00:42:10,293 --> 00:42:12,160
Why do all the fat one
always ride around

940
00:42:12,162 --> 00:42:13,528
on these little scooters?

941
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,664
You ever stop and think
that if you walk,

942
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:16,899
you might actually be thin?

943
00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:20,801
Wow.

944
00:42:20,803 --> 00:42:23,939
These pigs are harassing
the handicapped!

945
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:26,307
Everybody look.
Take a phone video!

946
00:42:26,309 --> 00:42:31,046
- Hey! Leave him alone!
- Hey! This it is far from over.

947
00:42:31,048 --> 00:42:33,314
- You want to go to TJ's Arcade?
- <i>Oui.</i>

948
00:42:33,316 --> 00:42:35,316
I have some loonie
I need to break.

949
00:42:35,318 --> 00:42:36,619
<i>C'est bon.</i>

950
00:42:38,456 --> 00:42:39,957
Fuckin' Frenchies.

951
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:44,392
What are you two doing together?
Mall walking?

952
00:42:44,394 --> 00:42:47,195
We ran into each other
at the pet store.

953
00:42:47,197 --> 00:42:50,231
Rabbit.
You shopping for a new gerbil?

954
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,937
Hey, Gwenevieve
how about the two of us

955
00:42:54,939 --> 00:42:56,437
go over to
the Saskatchuan Palace

956
00:42:56,439 --> 00:42:58,707
and get a wang dang doodle?

957
00:42:58,709 --> 00:42:59,841
Uh, <i>non.</i>

958
00:42:59,843 --> 00:43:02,276
Ooh, woof woof. Put a little
bark on that and I'll bite.

959
00:43:02,278 --> 00:43:05,449
Okay, I'm going to go.

960
00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:08,850
It was great seeing you.

961
00:43:08,852 --> 00:43:10,621
Don't leave on my account.

962
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:13,358
Uh-huh! Cocky, huh?

963
00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:15,657
How about we up the bet?

964
00:43:15,659 --> 00:43:16,957
There is no bet, Farva.

965
00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:18,394
Okay, new bet then.

966
00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:21,662
Loser not only cuts off
his pinky toe with a shovel,

967
00:43:21,664 --> 00:43:22,997
he puts it in a blender

968
00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:25,633
and drinks it in a smoothie,
toenail and all.

969
00:43:25,635 --> 00:43:26,867
Come on.

970
00:43:26,869 --> 00:43:28,169
Shake it, don't mistake it.

971
00:43:28,171 --> 00:43:29,637
You're serious?

972
00:43:29,639 --> 00:43:30,805
Serious as a heart attack.

973
00:43:30,807 --> 00:43:33,508
And I should know.
I've had two.

974
00:43:36,012 --> 00:43:37,547
- Wow.
- Pinky toe smoothie!

975
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,657
Somebody clean this up.

976
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:56,899
Son of a bitch.

977
00:43:56,901 --> 00:43:57,966
Hey!

978
00:43:57,968 --> 00:44:00,070
Heat goggles have arrived!

979
00:44:01,037 --> 00:44:02,472
Looking hot, Mac.

980
00:44:03,206 --> 00:44:05,474
Hey, nickel plated cuffs!

981
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:08,843
Oh, shit.
These things are defective.

982
00:44:08,845 --> 00:44:10,012
What's wrong with them?

983
00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:11,213
They don't seem to lock.

984
00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:12,914
Here. Let me see.

985
00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:14,552
Here you go, Rabbit,
give me that hand.

986
00:44:17,887 --> 00:44:20,055
- I got mine to work.
- Maybe it's this one.

987
00:44:20,057 --> 00:44:21,856
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good.

988
00:44:21,858 --> 00:44:23,124
Try the ankle ones.

989
00:44:23,126 --> 00:44:24,359
Oh, you always gotta
check the ankle ones.

990
00:44:24,361 --> 00:44:25,628
That's the most important.

991
00:44:25,630 --> 00:44:26,495
And here we go.

992
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,162
You son-a-bitches.

993
00:44:28,164 --> 00:44:29,664
You're not shaving my balls!

994
00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:31,566
It would be an insult to our
Canadian hosts if we didn't.

995
00:44:31,568 --> 00:44:33,436
I'm not a rookie anymore.
Get these off me.

996
00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:35,003
Do you not want to be
an ambassador of goodwill?

997
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,539
No. I don't. Get these off me.

998
00:44:36,541 --> 00:44:38,673
Rabbit, it's not like
we want to shave your balls.

999
00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:40,242
Thorny, do you want
to shave his balls?

1000
00:44:40,244 --> 00:44:41,776
- Me? Hell no.
- Foster?

1001
00:44:41,778 --> 00:44:43,678
- No way.
- You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva?

1002
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:44,879
Hell yeah, I do!

1003
00:44:44,881 --> 00:44:45,948
I even went out and bought

1004
00:44:45,950 --> 00:44:47,314
one of those
old-timey straight razors.

1005
00:44:47,316 --> 00:44:49,417
- No. No.
- Check this out.

1006
00:44:51,421 --> 00:44:52,287
Jesus!

1007
00:44:52,289 --> 00:44:54,122
Goddamn Canadian wiring!

1008
00:44:54,124 --> 00:44:56,160
It's wrecking
my freakin' sperm count!

1009
00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,495
Are you still taking
the Flova Scotia?

1010
00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:02,129
What part of
"side effects include

1011
00:45:02,131 --> 00:45:03,832
"queefing and bitchiness"
did you not understand?

1012
00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:06,600
Dude, the orgasms are
like a moonshot.

1013
00:45:06,602 --> 00:45:08,169
You can't keep taking
female hormones.

1014
00:45:08,171 --> 00:45:09,537
It's gonna mess you up.

1015
00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:10,506
Jealous much?

1016
00:45:10,508 --> 00:45:12,140
Now who are you
orgasming with?

1017
00:45:12,142 --> 00:45:14,309
Her name is Quebecois Debbie.

1018
00:45:14,311 --> 00:45:17,345
Oh, Thorny, your cock,
she is so wide.

1019
00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,981
I'd fuck her.

1020
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:23,121
- Okay, let's shave this.
- Don't.

1021
00:45:35,898 --> 00:45:36,965
Ready?

1022
00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:38,466
Seriously,
cut the crap, guys.

1023
00:45:43,706 --> 00:45:46,008
Ahem!

1024
00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:47,575
There's a bear in the station.

1025
00:45:47,577 --> 00:45:50,312
Is that a euphemism
for something?

1026
00:45:50,314 --> 00:45:53,282
It's a euphemism for
there's a goddamn bear

1027
00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:56,753
eating slabs of raw meat
in the goddamn station!

1028
00:46:01,358 --> 00:46:03,024
- Yeah. Bear.
- Okay.

1029
00:46:03,026 --> 00:46:04,091
Where are the guns?

1030
00:46:04,093 --> 00:46:05,794
In the room with the bear.

1031
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:07,028
Tear gas grenades?

1032
00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:09,030
- I just got a new delivery!
- There you go! Where is it?

1033
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,499
In the room
with the guns and the bear.

1034
00:46:11,501 --> 00:46:13,434
What if we send Rabbit
out to fuck the bear

1035
00:46:13,436 --> 00:46:14,903
as a means
of distracting said bear?

1036
00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,370
- Yes.
- God damn it,

1037
00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:17,909
we've got to get
the meat out of there!

1038
00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:21,042
Fine, fuck it. I'll do it.

1039
00:46:21,044 --> 00:46:22,577
- I'll go with you.
- Really?

1040
00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,046
Yeah. What's the worst
that could happen?

1041
00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:25,213
You get mauled by the bear.

1042
00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:26,648
Or that bear
could get mauled by me.

1043
00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:28,416
- You ever think about that?
- No, I didn't.

1044
00:46:28,418 --> 00:46:29,484
Okay, here's the plan:

1045
00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:30,753
I'll go out there
and distract the bear,

1046
00:46:30,755 --> 00:46:31,619
while you get the meat

1047
00:46:31,621 --> 00:46:32,921
and get it the hell
out of the station.

1048
00:46:32,923 --> 00:46:33,988
Team Ram-Rod!

1049
00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:35,492
Please don't start
with that shit.

1050
00:46:40,863 --> 00:46:42,365
Good luck, fellas.

1051
00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:46,203
Okay.
You stay here.

1052
00:46:49,872 --> 00:46:51,905
Big boy. Hey, big boy!

1053
00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,211
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, no.

1054
00:46:56,213 --> 00:46:59,213
Come here, Ditka.
Come here. Come here, boy!

1055
00:46:59,215 --> 00:47:00,418
Go, go, go.

1056
00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:02,419
Come on!

1057
00:47:02,985 --> 00:47:04,419
Come on! Come on!

1058
00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:05,820
Come, come!

1059
00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:06,887
Okay.

1060
00:47:06,889 --> 00:47:08,390
Okay, okay.

1061
00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:09,457
Fuck you, bear.

1062
00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:10,995
Shit.

1063
00:47:14,764 --> 00:47:15,765
Shit.

1064
00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:26,310
Go, go, go, go!

1065
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:37,986
Oh, shit.

1066
00:47:40,923 --> 00:47:42,157
Hey. Hey.

1067
00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:44,425
Get out of there. Stop.

1068
00:47:44,427 --> 00:47:46,195
- Should I shoot him?
- Who? Farva?

1069
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,329
Ooh, good idea.

1070
00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,932
No, no! No, no, no.

1071
00:47:52,269 --> 00:47:53,934
Go away!

1072
00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,675
Oh!

1073
00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,441
Get away, bear.

1074
00:48:03,646 --> 00:48:05,946
Go! Go! Go!

1075
00:48:05,948 --> 00:48:07,418
Get out of here. Fuck.

1076
00:48:11,988 --> 00:48:14,088
Holy shit,
I "bear-ly" made it.

1077
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,925
That could've been "grizzly".

1078
00:48:17,927 --> 00:48:19,494
Yeah.

1079
00:48:19,496 --> 00:48:21,428
I think someone took
a "growler" in here.

1080
00:48:21,430 --> 00:48:22,765
Shoot him.

1081
00:48:22,767 --> 00:48:25,867
Fuckin' Mounties!

1082
00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:27,135
Son of a bitch!

1083
00:48:27,137 --> 00:48:29,738
Those guys have been assholes
since the moment we arrived

1084
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,405
and now they are
trying to kill us.

1085
00:48:31,407 --> 00:48:33,240
This goes a lot farther
than just being angry

1086
00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:34,709
about losing their jobs.

1087
00:48:34,711 --> 00:48:36,345
Cap, we've been
pelted by hockey pucks,

1088
00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:37,945
had dicks tugged
in front of our faces

1089
00:48:37,947 --> 00:48:40,548
and gotten our asses kicked
by prostitutes of both sexes.

1090
00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:42,984
I think it's time we had
our own fun. Who's with me?

1091
00:48:42,986 --> 00:48:44,253
Yeah! Let's go!

1092
00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:46,854
Dude, you fuckin' stink.

1093
00:48:46,856 --> 00:48:47,992
Sorry.

1094
00:48:48,825 --> 00:48:52,693
Guys! Guys! Anyone?

1095
00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:54,930
The shaving cream
is starting to burn.

1096
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,164
Did you use menthol?!

1097
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,934
<i>Hair loss,
queefing and bitchiness.</i>

1098
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,669
<i>Flova Scotia, eh?</i>

1099
00:49:01,671 --> 00:49:04,705
Fuckin' rights.
It's the same guy, bud.

1100
00:49:04,707 --> 00:49:07,408
No, no, no. It's
a different guy, that guy, eh.

1101
00:49:07,410 --> 00:49:09,510
Yeah, no!
That's Danny DeVito!

1102
00:49:09,512 --> 00:49:12,280
Danny DeVito
is the actor from <i>Taxi,</i>

1103
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:13,615
but that guy I like,

1104
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:16,350
he come out on <i>Always
Sunny in Philadelphia's.</i>

1105
00:49:16,352 --> 00:49:17,686
Bud, they're the same guy.

1106
00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:19,653
How many 145-centimeter actors
do you think there are?

1107
00:49:19,655 --> 00:49:21,222
They're both Danny DeVito!

1108
00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:24,792
No, Danny DeVito
<i>Taxi</i> long time ago.

1109
00:49:24,794 --> 00:49:27,662
But this producer
from <i>Always Sunnys,</i>

1110
00:49:27,664 --> 00:49:29,530
they like him so much,

1111
00:49:29,532 --> 00:49:31,932
they put him it
into the show, eh.

1112
00:49:31,934 --> 00:49:34,401
That doesn't mean they
can't be the same guy, bud.

1113
00:49:34,403 --> 00:49:35,836
That's one guy.
It's a different era.

1114
00:49:35,838 --> 00:49:37,704
He can do two shows
in fucking 30 years.

1115
00:49:37,706 --> 00:49:39,673
How many times
do we have to go over this?

1116
00:49:39,675 --> 00:49:41,577
It's the same fucking guy!

1117
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:46,981
He is right, you know.
It is the same guy.

1118
00:49:46,983 --> 00:49:48,983
Danny DeVito was in <i>Taxis</i>

1119
00:49:48,985 --> 00:49:51,921
but he is also in <i>It's Always
Sunny in Philadelphia's.</i>

1120
00:49:52,588 --> 00:49:54,455
I know. I make joke on him.

1121
00:49:54,457 --> 00:49:57,291
He think I don't know
but I know, eh.

1122
00:50:00,063 --> 00:50:02,997
You know who is my favorite,
uh, superhero villain?

1123
00:50:02,999 --> 00:50:05,499
Is the Penguin
from <i>Batman</i> film, eh.

1124
00:50:05,501 --> 00:50:07,903
That's fuckin'
Danny DeVito, bud.

1125
00:50:07,905 --> 00:50:09,204
Get a fucking clue!

1126
00:50:09,206 --> 00:50:10,771
That's Danny DeVito
you just said!

1127
00:50:10,773 --> 00:50:12,407
Can you believe
this fuckin' guy doesn't know

1128
00:50:12,409 --> 00:50:13,474
who Danny DeVito is?

1129
00:50:13,476 --> 00:50:14,742
Who you mean? The singer?

1130
00:50:14,744 --> 00:50:17,479
No, the fuckin' actor!
Danny DeVito.

1131
00:50:17,481 --> 00:50:19,513
The guy who's married
to Rhea Perlman!

1132
00:50:19,515 --> 00:50:21,349
Oh, I like him in <i>Hellboy.</i>

1133
00:50:21,351 --> 00:50:22,785
That's Ron Perlman!

1134
00:50:22,787 --> 00:50:25,887
Doesn't matter. Archambault!
Hockey is back on!

1135
00:50:25,889 --> 00:50:27,187
What the fuck is wrong
with you guys?

1136
00:50:27,189 --> 00:50:28,923
Both of you. You're fucki''
from another planet.

1137
00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,725
I can't believe we live
in the same country.

1138
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:32,093
Oh, the fucking phone

1139
00:50:32,095 --> 00:50:33,628
is ringing during
hockey night in Canada!

1140
00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,662
Who is calling during
hockey night in Canada?!

1141
00:50:35,664 --> 00:50:37,832
Who the fuck even has
a hard line anymore?

1142
00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:40,401
Archambault, rip the fuckin'
phone out of the wall!

1143
00:50:40,403 --> 00:50:41,637
What's next?
You're gonna have someone

1144
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:43,704
deliver a pizza during
the fuckin' overtime?!

1145
00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:47,943
What the fuck?

1146
00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:56,751
You know,
the other guy I like,

1147
00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:58,586
is the one
giving Billy Crystal

1148
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,990
the problem in
<i>Throw Momma and the Trains.</i>

1149
00:51:03,860 --> 00:51:05,729
Holy <i>merde.</i>

1150
00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:21,779
Get him!

1151
00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,490
Great fight, guys!

1152
00:51:35,492 --> 00:51:38,292
Pennyworth ADH4
SureShot Cattle Prod.

1153
00:51:38,294 --> 00:51:39,494
Every station needs one.

1154
00:51:41,497 --> 00:51:43,501
I can't breathe.

1155
00:52:00,150 --> 00:52:03,050
We know it's you guys.
We can see your mustaches.

1156
00:52:03,052 --> 00:52:04,919
Come on, you can't
leave us out here.

1157
00:52:04,921 --> 00:52:07,789
We are at least
100 <i>kilomètres</i> in the woods!

1158
00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:09,193
Maybe more, huh?

1159
00:52:15,764 --> 00:52:18,568
Ah, <i>tabernacle.</i>
Here come the mosquito.

1160
00:52:23,572 --> 00:52:24,805
We got 24 hours

1161
00:52:24,807 --> 00:52:26,975
to desecrate the good names
of these dickfucks.

1162
00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,244
Let's do it!

1163
00:52:34,285 --> 00:52:36,120
Let's do it.

1164
00:52:39,956 --> 00:52:42,126
License and registration, eh!

1165
00:52:43,293 --> 00:52:44,291
Here you go.

1166
00:52:44,293 --> 00:52:45,660
<i>Captain, come in, Captain.</i>

1167
00:52:45,662 --> 00:52:47,495
- Officer.
<i>- Captain, come in.</i>

1168
00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:49,231
Officer, here you go.

1169
00:52:49,233 --> 00:52:50,532
<i>Are you hearing
anything, Captain?</i>

1170
00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:51,865
You think maybe
your buddy is getting

1171
00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:53,938
a little old for this?
I mean, a deaf cop?

1172
00:52:54,438 --> 00:52:56,338
Who said that, eh?

1173
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:59,673
Ooh. You, sir,
have the nose of a king.

1174
00:52:59,675 --> 00:53:02,443
Hold tight, I'm gonna
get my ticket book.

1175
00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:05,613
Ya! Hey there.

1176
00:53:05,615 --> 00:53:07,548
- License and registration.
- All right.

1177
00:53:07,550 --> 00:53:09,416
Let's go!
License and registration, eh!

1178
00:53:10,619 --> 00:53:11,686
What's so funny...

1179
00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:14,354
...Mr. Matt Tomon?

1180
00:53:14,356 --> 00:53:15,423
You think it's funny that

1181
00:53:15,425 --> 00:53:16,925
I lost my balls
in a tractor pull?

1182
00:53:16,927 --> 00:53:18,727
Wait, you both
got your nuts ripped off

1183
00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:19,861
in a tractor pull?

1184
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:21,695
I lost mine in the spokes
of my bicycle.

1185
00:53:21,697 --> 00:53:23,666
You know how fast
that will stop a bicycle?

1186
00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,468
Hey, Officer!

1187
00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:29,870
- Hey, you're on my wagon.
- What?

1188
00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:33,039
Come on! Wake up! Wake up!

1189
00:53:33,041 --> 00:53:34,877
License and registration, hey?

1190
00:53:36,445 --> 00:53:38,678
'Scuse me one second, eh.

1191
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,080
You bitch!

1192
00:53:40,082 --> 00:53:42,052
- Get back here, you!
- Ow! Ow!

1193
00:53:44,287 --> 00:53:46,254
- Hey, there.
- Hi.

1194
00:53:46,256 --> 00:53:48,323
License and registration.

1195
00:53:48,325 --> 00:53:51,559
Aren't you the two
that pulled me over before?

1196
00:53:51,561 --> 00:53:52,861
Beg your pardon?

1197
00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:56,497
How are you Mounties now?
Or should I say Meow-nties?

1198
00:53:56,499 --> 00:53:58,133
Say what now?

1199
00:53:58,135 --> 00:54:00,166
Few years ago,
you pulled me over

1200
00:54:00,168 --> 00:54:02,269
and you played some game
where you said "meow."

1201
00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:04,271
Buddy, I've said
a thousand stupid things

1202
00:54:04,273 --> 00:54:05,472
to people over the years.

1203
00:54:05,474 --> 00:54:07,140
You asked if I saw you
jumping around

1204
00:54:07,142 --> 00:54:09,843
all nimbly-bimbly
from tree to tree?

1205
00:54:09,845 --> 00:54:12,012
I can assure you
I've never said the words

1206
00:54:12,014 --> 00:54:14,481
"nimbly-bimbly"
in my life.

1207
00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,151
- You fucker!
- Oh, you bitch!

1208
00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:19,620
Where's the gosh darn cruiser?

1209
00:54:20,856 --> 00:54:22,724
Dude, your partner
is about to get mucked!

1210
00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:24,691
Where you going, mister?
Freeze!

1211
00:54:27,396 --> 00:54:28,431
Ow. Ow!

1212
00:54:35,472 --> 00:54:37,338
Bro!

1213
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,374
Hang on. Do you really
not remember this guy

1214
00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:40,508
or you just fuckin' with him?

1215
00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:41,709
Yeah,
I have no idea who he is.

1216
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,044
You know I heard
everything you said.

1217
00:54:43,046 --> 00:54:44,778
Son of a bitch. We've been
doing that for years.

1218
00:54:44,780 --> 00:54:46,948
Forget it. Am I getting
a ticket here, or...

1219
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:48,249
You know what? I want
to get my head around this

1220
00:54:48,251 --> 00:54:49,850
'cause now
it's driving me crazy.

1221
00:54:49,852 --> 00:54:51,820
Let's do this. We'll switch.
You'll be me, I'll be you

1222
00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:53,220
and then
you'll do the routine.

1223
00:54:53,222 --> 00:54:54,122
What? All right.

1224
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:55,759
Ah, you'll kill it,
you'll kill it.

1225
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,961
License and registration meow.
Come on, meow.

1226
00:55:00,963 --> 00:55:03,330
Hey! Now I remember it!

1227
00:55:03,332 --> 00:55:05,432
- I remember it now.
- You remember that.

1228
00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:07,736
In the meanwhile, never give
your car keys to a stranger.

1229
00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:08,836
Why is that?

1230
00:55:08,838 --> 00:55:10,805
See you, sucker!

1231
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:14,041
I knew it was you
the whole time, asshole!

1232
00:55:14,043 --> 00:55:16,343
What
the hell's going on here? Huh?

1233
00:55:16,345 --> 00:55:18,847
Looks like someone's smoking
the reefer joints.

1234
00:55:18,849 --> 00:55:20,247
No, that's not marijuana.

1235
00:55:20,249 --> 00:55:21,416
We'll see about that.

1236
00:55:21,418 --> 00:55:23,117
Farva, that's not a good idea!

1237
00:55:25,287 --> 00:55:26,354
What's the...

1238
00:55:28,791 --> 00:55:30,059
Okay, this is happening.

1239
00:55:37,066 --> 00:55:38,265
Sorry.

1240
00:55:40,604 --> 00:55:41,669
We're from America.

1241
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:42,937
We don't speak French.

1242
00:55:42,939 --> 00:55:43,974
Oh.

1243
00:55:49,479 --> 00:55:50,945
Do neither of you
speak English?

1244
00:55:50,947 --> 00:55:52,613
- I do.
- Oh.

1245
00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:54,448
Em...

1246
00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:55,950
Your papers.

1247
00:55:55,952 --> 00:55:59,954
We would like
to eat your papers.

1248
00:55:59,956 --> 00:56:02,990
Can you
show me your party papers?

1249
00:56:02,992 --> 00:56:05,459
- You want to see our party papers?
- Party papers?

1250
00:56:05,461 --> 00:56:06,928
<i>Bon vivant bouillabaisse,</i>

1251
00:56:06,930 --> 00:56:09,162
<i>cul de sac, les serve
chicken cordon bleu.</i>

1252
00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:10,965
<i>Formidable
Baton Rouge.</i>

1253
00:56:10,967 --> 00:56:13,234
<i>No bles or blis, o bon
pain</i> Château Marmont?

1254
00:56:13,236 --> 00:56:15,202
<i>- Croque monsieur?
- Croque madame!</i>

1255
00:56:15,204 --> 00:56:16,271
<i>Non!</i>

1256
00:56:16,273 --> 00:56:17,405
<i>Est stupid!</i>

1257
00:56:17,407 --> 00:56:19,573
<i>Frère Jacques, Grey
Poupon, Marquis de Sade,</i>

1258
00:56:19,575 --> 00:56:20,774
<i>tourette</i> whoop!

1259
00:56:20,776 --> 00:56:22,943
<i>Feather duster, croissant,
Les Miserables,</i>

1260
00:56:22,945 --> 00:56:25,211
<i>fart catcher,
Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan,</i>

1261
00:56:25,213 --> 00:56:27,881
<i>Perrier, Fran Tarkenton,
peanut butter parfait.</i>

1262
00:56:27,883 --> 00:56:28,983
<i>Eau de toilette!</i>

1263
00:56:30,354 --> 00:56:31,952
Officers? I'm sorry.

1264
00:56:31,954 --> 00:56:33,421
You're, you're obviously in...

1265
00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:34,722
No, no, no, no, no.

1266
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:37,825
I must apologize, uh,
for me and my partner.

1267
00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,227
We should not fight.

1268
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,327
To argue is no way
to go through the life.

1269
00:56:41,329 --> 00:56:42,329
I know.

1270
00:56:42,331 --> 00:56:44,499
- Do you know the key to life?
- What's that?

1271
00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:46,803
The key to life is a...

1272
00:56:47,436 --> 00:56:50,004
a penis in your asshole.

1273
00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:52,273
I beg your pardon, sir!

1274
00:56:52,275 --> 00:56:54,508
I think you must be
saying that wrong!

1275
00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:59,180
No, no, no. The key to life
is a penis in your asshole.

1276
00:56:59,182 --> 00:57:01,716
I don't think you're saying
what you mean to say.

1277
00:57:01,718 --> 00:57:02,916
<i>Oui! Oui! Oui!</i>

1278
00:57:02,918 --> 00:57:04,151
A penis. A penis.

1279
00:57:04,153 --> 00:57:07,224
You know, eh, eh, to smile.
To be happy.

1280
00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:09,057
Oh!

1281
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:11,291
"Happiness!"

1282
00:57:11,293 --> 00:57:12,794
Honey! It's...

1283
00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:14,229
Okay.

1284
00:57:14,231 --> 00:57:15,866
In your asshole.

1285
00:57:16,532 --> 00:57:17,631
That's...

1286
00:57:17,633 --> 00:57:19,899
Your asshole.
Eh, where you live.

1287
00:57:19,901 --> 00:57:22,570
Your apartment,
your domicile.

1288
00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:23,970
Your house.

1289
00:57:23,972 --> 00:57:25,340
- "Household!"
- Ah!

1290
00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,809
"The key to life is happiness
in your household!"

1291
00:57:28,811 --> 00:57:31,345
<i>Oui,</i> the key to life is
"a penis in your asshole"!

1292
00:57:31,347 --> 00:57:33,314
- Oh!
- I'm trying to tell her that.

1293
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,287
What you think I say?

1294
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,754
Oh, I don't even
want to tell you.

1295
00:57:40,756 --> 00:57:42,657
Maybe they'll get
a kick out of it.

1296
00:57:42,659 --> 00:57:44,459
We thought that you said,

1297
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:49,396
that the key to life
is a penis in your asshole.

1298
00:57:49,398 --> 00:57:51,365
<i>Sacrebleu, non!</i>

1299
00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:53,767
You Americans think
everyone want to fuck you!

1300
00:57:53,769 --> 00:57:55,736
No one want to fuck you!

1301
00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:57,137
<i>Merde!</i>

1302
00:57:57,139 --> 00:57:59,275
Here is your party papers!

1303
00:58:00,008 --> 00:58:02,376
I thought Canadians were nice.

1304
00:58:02,378 --> 00:58:04,711
Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me.
Okay.

1305
00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:07,048
I was thinking
we could do like

1306
00:58:07,050 --> 00:58:08,316
a "Who's on First?" pullover.

1307
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,986
"Rabbit and Fostello."
You know, old-time comedy.

1308
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,189
- Love it.
- Ooh.

1309
00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:17,392
- How are they back so quick?
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit!

1310
00:58:17,394 --> 00:58:18,428
- Shit!
- Go, go, go, go!

1311
00:58:26,903 --> 00:58:28,669
There are these
son-of-a-bitch guys, eh!

1312
00:58:28,671 --> 00:58:30,405
Stomp you a new mudhole!

1313
00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:31,338
Whoa, whoa!

1314
00:58:31,340 --> 00:58:33,173
What the hell happened
to you guys?

1315
00:58:33,175 --> 00:58:35,042
They dump us in the woods!

1316
00:58:35,044 --> 00:58:36,878
What?! Why would we do that?
We're the police.

1317
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,312
Too bad for you
my dad dropped me in the woods

1318
00:58:38,314 --> 00:58:40,481
- naked every summer!
- Hah?

1319
00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:41,881
Oh, sounds too bad for you.

1320
00:58:41,883 --> 00:58:43,785
Come on. You know you do this.
Look at us.

1321
00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:46,153
We are paint all red,
white and blue.

1322
00:58:46,155 --> 00:58:47,821
Aren't those the colors
of the French flag?

1323
00:58:47,823 --> 00:58:49,957
Oh, the
color the French flag.

1324
00:58:49,959 --> 00:58:51,091
Perhaps the guys
who did this were British.

1325
00:58:51,093 --> 00:58:52,626
Could've been Costa Rican.

1326
00:58:52,628 --> 00:58:54,361
Who wants breakfast burritos?

1327
00:58:56,666 --> 00:58:57,532
Take that off
or I'll kill you.

1328
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,066
Let's settle this
the Canadian way!

1329
00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:00,334
You're in America now!

1330
00:59:02,606 --> 00:59:05,106
Hey! What's going on here?

1331
00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:07,475
Great Tim Horton's ghost!

1332
00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:09,343
First, I get a call
that the Mounties

1333
00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:11,278
are out farting sideways
on the highways.

1334
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:12,914
Then I get a call
to come down here.

1335
00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:14,115
Oh, it wasn't us!

1336
00:59:14,117 --> 00:59:16,117
These fucking guys,
they kidnap us

1337
00:59:16,119 --> 00:59:17,550
and they leave us
in the woods to die.

1338
00:59:17,552 --> 00:59:20,620
Yeah, then they steal
all three of our uniform, eh.

1339
00:59:20,622 --> 00:59:23,390
These guys put a bear in our station!
A real bear. Big bear!

1340
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:25,892
You don't have
any proof of that.

1341
00:59:25,894 --> 00:59:27,026
A real bear?

1342
00:59:27,028 --> 00:59:29,898
Maybe. And maybe
they deserve a bear!

1343
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,231
Nobody deserves a bear!

1344
00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:32,834
I give a bear to you!

1345
00:59:32,836 --> 00:59:34,705
We could have been eaten!

1346
00:59:36,972 --> 00:59:39,273
Why you laughing, Guy?

1347
00:59:39,275 --> 00:59:43,044
Fellas, you are thinking
about this all wrong, eh?

1348
00:59:43,046 --> 00:59:46,316
These guys?
They impersonated officers.

1349
00:59:47,416 --> 00:59:50,149
There is no way they're
holding onto their jobs.

1350
00:59:50,151 --> 00:59:52,519
And I'll do you one better.

1351
00:59:52,521 --> 00:59:55,756
When I get done talking to my
good friend Justin Trudeau...

1352
00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:57,158
Eh, the Prime Minister!

1353
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,892
I bet you this
whole turnover thing

1354
00:59:58,894 --> 01:00:00,260
goes right out the window.

1355
01:00:00,262 --> 01:00:01,428
Boom!

1356
01:00:01,430 --> 01:00:03,898
So, boys, unpack your bags.
Revive those cable bundles.

1357
01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:05,599
'Cause you are
not going anywhere.

1358
01:00:05,601 --> 01:00:07,767
I say we celebrate. What are
we having for breakfast?

1359
01:00:07,769 --> 01:00:09,937
- Pancake.
- Pancake, yeah?

1360
01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,439
All right.
Oatmeal and raisins it is.

1361
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,506
- Oh.
- Kidding. It's pancakes.

1362
01:00:13,508 --> 01:00:16,611
Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs
side by each, eh?

1363
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:17,778
I don't want this oatmeal.

1364
01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:20,061
Maybe you put the
raisins inside the pancake.

1365
01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:22,416
Genevieve, wait.

1366
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:24,684
You brought this
on yourselves.

1367
01:00:24,686 --> 01:00:26,155
They put a bear...

1368
01:00:27,990 --> 01:00:30,057
This is bad, fellas.

1369
01:00:30,059 --> 01:00:33,294
This is "Fred Savage
Ridin'-Along Incident" bad.

1370
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:34,829
Tell that to Fred Savage.

1371
01:00:34,831 --> 01:00:37,398
Well, no sense in having
good breakfast go to waste.

1372
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:38,765
- I've lost my appetite.
- I'm sorry, man.

1373
01:00:38,767 --> 01:00:40,401
I'm just not hungry.

1374
01:00:40,403 --> 01:00:42,369
You try to do something
nice for people,

1375
01:00:42,371 --> 01:00:44,775
and then it just,
I just, you know.

1376
01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:47,276
What's the point?

1377
01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:51,412
Stop taking
female hormones!

1378
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:55,483
Can we
please come in, Cap?

1379
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,885
He's taking years off my life.

1380
01:00:57,887 --> 01:00:59,452
<i>Just the bad years, kid.</i>

1381
01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:01,521
I'm serious, Cap. I'm about
to snap like a dry twig.

1382
01:01:01,523 --> 01:01:04,225
<i>Things are still pretty dicey here.
Best keep Farva away.</i>

1383
01:01:04,227 --> 01:01:06,394
<i>We'll let you know
when the coast is clear.</i>

1384
01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,698
Have you
heard the new Kanye?

1385
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:14,602
He's not just about big butts!
He's a really good singer.

1386
01:01:15,771 --> 01:01:19,374
This is great. It's like
being on the road again.

1387
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:21,908
I like to chew mint gum
when I'm on the road.

1388
01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:23,276
When I'm radio, it's fruit.

1389
01:01:23,278 --> 01:01:26,548
You know, like Juicy Fruit,
Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba.

1390
01:01:26,550 --> 01:01:28,115
Anything fruity.

1391
01:01:28,117 --> 01:01:29,383
On the road,
I like mint, though.

1392
01:01:29,385 --> 01:01:31,885
Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint.

1393
01:01:31,887 --> 01:01:33,586
And Beech-Nut,
have you tried that?

1394
01:01:33,588 --> 01:01:35,323
They should call it
"Beech-Not!"

1395
01:01:35,325 --> 01:01:37,957
Oh, shit, I'm gonna
write that down.

1396
01:01:37,959 --> 01:01:39,859
What kind of gum do you chew?

1397
01:01:39,861 --> 01:01:41,331
They should make
a black mint gum.

1398
01:01:41,997 --> 01:01:43,164
That would be choice.

1399
01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:45,365
They could call it
"Minty Black".

1400
01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,934
Yeah, I'm gonna
write that down too.

1401
01:01:46,936 --> 01:01:48,803
- No one would buy that.
- What?

1402
01:01:48,805 --> 01:01:50,273
No one would buy
that stupid gum.

1403
01:01:54,110 --> 01:01:55,209
Bullshit.

1404
01:01:55,211 --> 01:01:58,012
They'd buy it
if it was on <i>Friends.</i>

1405
01:01:58,014 --> 01:01:59,247
Like if Ross
or Rachel chewed it,

1406
01:01:59,249 --> 01:02:00,648
it'd sell like hotcakes.

1407
01:02:00,650 --> 01:02:01,983
Are you a mutant?

1408
01:02:01,985 --> 01:02:03,917
You follow me out here while I'm
pissing just to tell me this shit?

1409
01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:05,285
Quit looking at my dick.

1410
01:02:05,287 --> 01:02:06,519
I'm not looking at your dick.
We're taking a piss.

1411
01:02:06,521 --> 01:02:08,189
- So, piss.
- I don't have to go.

1412
01:02:10,693 --> 01:02:12,894
I'll fuck that Canadian
right in his back bacon!

1413
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:13,897
Rod! Rod!

1414
01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:19,434
- Yeah!
- Farva!

1415
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,537
Farva!

1416
01:02:22,637 --> 01:02:23,838
Farva!

1417
01:02:28,010 --> 01:02:29,478
Dumb fuck.

1418
01:02:34,450 --> 01:02:35,730
Unbelievable.

1419
01:02:36,653 --> 01:02:38,753
Who pops an airbag?

1420
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:40,557
God. You weigh a ton.

1421
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:46,229
You gotta be shitting me.
Don't die on me, Farva.

1422
01:02:48,131 --> 01:02:49,466
Okay. You can do it.

1423
01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:06,615
Oh! Fuck!

1424
01:03:07,082 --> 01:03:08,182
From upside down,

1425
01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:10,251
your mustache looks
like a big hairy smile.

1426
01:03:10,253 --> 01:03:11,486
Why would you
give me the Shocker?

1427
01:03:11,488 --> 01:03:14,354
My way of saying, "Thanks,
honey. You saved my life."

1428
01:03:14,356 --> 01:03:16,356
I was dead. I went to Heaven.

1429
01:03:16,358 --> 01:03:17,624
And you were there.

1430
01:03:17,626 --> 01:03:19,994
- You know what you were doing?
- What?

1431
01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:23,198
Trying to make out with me,
sweetheart! I'm on to you.

1432
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,767
Come here.
Give me some more of that.

1433
01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:27,938
What the hell is that?

1434
01:03:34,843 --> 01:03:36,679
Well, hello, Laverne!

1435
01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:38,879
Looks like the same stuff.

1436
01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:40,816
Yeah, but a shit-ton
more of it.

1437
01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,617
Holy Hindu holidays.

1438
01:03:44,619 --> 01:03:46,288
There's a new guest
at the party.

1439
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:49,226
AK-47s.

1440
01:03:53,662 --> 01:03:54,595
Hey.

1441
01:03:54,597 --> 01:03:56,329
Oh, no, I don't
want to hear it, Rabbit.

1442
01:03:56,331 --> 01:03:58,131
Genevieve,
could I just explain?

1443
01:03:58,133 --> 01:03:59,867
There is nothing to explain.

1444
01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:01,635
They put bears
in our station.

1445
01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:02,870
This is Canada!

1446
01:04:02,872 --> 01:04:04,470
There are bears everywhere.

1447
01:04:04,472 --> 01:04:05,872
There are bears that
go through

1448
01:04:05,874 --> 01:04:06,874
my garbage every night.

1449
01:04:06,876 --> 01:04:09,609
I have cereal
with bears in it: Bearios.

1450
01:04:09,611 --> 01:04:11,678
Canada's most
popular breakfast.

1451
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,180
Someone say "Bearios"?

1452
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:16,350
Hey there, Genny.
Wanna grab some eats?

1453
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:17,718
No, thanks.

1454
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:21,120
Turn that into a maybe
and I'll have your baby.

1455
01:04:23,126 --> 01:04:24,691
Lonnie Laloush?

1456
01:04:24,693 --> 01:04:27,528
That's <i>mon nom.</i>
Don't wear it out, eh?

1457
01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:30,164
You want a hot coffee?
I'm pouring.

1458
01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,233
<i>Oui, s'il te plait.</i>

1459
01:04:32,235 --> 01:04:33,901
Seems like a real
"dickwa-duh", huh?

1460
01:04:33,903 --> 01:04:37,271
I told everyone
how wonderful you all are.

1461
01:04:37,273 --> 01:04:40,506
Well, you're not.
You have bad hearts.

1462
01:04:40,508 --> 01:04:41,878
Who wants crème fraiche?

1463
01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,012
Nobody?

1464
01:04:45,347 --> 01:04:47,449
Okay, no crème fraiche!

1465
01:04:48,450 --> 01:04:50,283
- Please just go.
- Genevieve...

1466
01:04:50,285 --> 01:04:51,820
Just go.

1467
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:04,499
They're actually AK-48s.
Illegal in the U.S.

1468
01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:05,631
Why 48?

1469
01:05:05,633 --> 01:05:08,869
Because they hold
one extra bullet.

1470
01:05:08,871 --> 01:05:09,736
Yeah, sure. You never know

1471
01:05:09,738 --> 01:05:11,271
when you're gonna
need just one more.

1472
01:05:11,273 --> 01:05:12,640
This one says "Tiger Penis".

1473
01:05:12,642 --> 01:05:13,774
Suck it!

1474
01:05:13,776 --> 01:05:14,608
Shut up, Farva.

1475
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:16,443
The Chinese use it
to get hard-ons.

1476
01:05:16,445 --> 01:05:17,812
I tried to get it once.

1477
01:05:17,814 --> 01:05:19,814
You can't buy it in the United States.

1478
01:05:21,349 --> 01:05:23,117
Dude, what's up
with your mustache?

1479
01:05:23,119 --> 01:05:24,321
Nothing.

1480
01:05:26,421 --> 01:05:28,155
- Are you wearing a mustache wig?
- No!

1481
01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:30,457
It's a postiche, okay?
I'm having a little hair loss.

1482
01:05:30,459 --> 01:05:31,526
Don't worry about it.

1483
01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,760
Worry about your
own goddamn mustache.

1484
01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:34,928
Fuckin' asshole.

1485
01:05:34,930 --> 01:05:36,997
Hey, Mac tell you guys
about our little moment?

1486
01:05:36,999 --> 01:05:38,765
Did you, Mac and Cheese?

1487
01:05:38,767 --> 01:05:41,135
You told us, Farva.
I don't want to hear it again.

1488
01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:42,535
I'm the Cheese.

1489
01:05:42,537 --> 01:05:43,637
All right, look, guys.

1490
01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,104
I know we're
in some serious shit here,

1491
01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:46,340
but if we can crack this case,

1492
01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:47,575
we might just be able to get

1493
01:05:47,577 --> 01:05:48,943
beyond this
whole Mountie thing.

1494
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:50,276
We didn't do anything.

1495
01:05:50,278 --> 01:05:51,479
Foster, we kidnapped
and impersonated

1496
01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:52,916
officers of
a sovereign nation.

1497
01:05:53,349 --> 01:05:54,615
Right.

1498
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:57,617
Cuban cigars, Canadian pills,
counterfeit cell phones,

1499
01:05:57,619 --> 01:05:59,285
AK-48s and Tiger Penis.

1500
01:05:59,287 --> 01:06:01,021
What's the link?

1501
01:06:01,023 --> 01:06:03,823
All this stuff is
more valuable in the U.S.

1502
01:06:03,825 --> 01:06:04,758
than in Canada.

1503
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:06,160
So, it's
a smuggling operation.

1504
01:06:06,162 --> 01:06:08,061
Someone's trying to move
this shit over the border.

1505
01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,099
No, they're not.

1506
01:06:10,066 --> 01:06:11,198
Think about it.

1507
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,832
This stuff is just sitting on
Canadian land. Yeah. Okay.

1508
01:06:12,834 --> 01:06:15,135
But what happens
when this Canadian land

1509
01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:16,704
becomes American land?

1510
01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:20,374
No need to move it at all.
It's already on U.S. soil.

1511
01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:21,774
Exactly, huh?

1512
01:06:21,776 --> 01:06:24,579
Passive smuggling.
It's my kind of crime.

1513
01:06:24,581 --> 01:06:27,213
So, they must have this shit
stashed all along the border.

1514
01:06:27,215 --> 01:06:28,850
Yeah. But who is "they"?

1515
01:06:28,852 --> 01:06:30,383
Who "are" they.

1516
01:06:30,385 --> 01:06:31,484
Hey, look,
I said this earlier

1517
01:06:31,486 --> 01:06:32,885
and you guys laughed at me.

1518
01:06:32,887 --> 01:06:36,090
But I think it's the Mounties.
They are shit people. Okay?

1519
01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,057
And they smoke Cubans cigars.
We've seen that.

1520
01:06:38,059 --> 01:06:40,093
They're getting transferred
to God knows where.

1521
01:06:40,095 --> 01:06:41,294
I mean, what
do they have to lose?

1522
01:06:41,296 --> 01:06:44,664
I am starting to agree with
Sherlock McSerpico over here.

1523
01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:46,099
Ooh!

1524
01:06:46,101 --> 01:06:47,801
I'm telling you, fellas.

1525
01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,669
In my experience,
it's always the local cops.

1526
01:06:49,671 --> 01:06:51,671
What would you guys give me
if I kill that bird?

1527
01:06:51,673 --> 01:06:53,307
Farva, that's a Bald Eagle!

1528
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:54,441
Get a wig, baldy!

1529
01:06:57,445 --> 01:06:59,180
Yeah!

1530
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:00,580
Put the goddamn gun down.

1531
01:07:00,582 --> 01:07:02,682
What?

1532
01:07:02,684 --> 01:07:05,285
Oh, booyah!
Guys, what do I win?

1533
01:07:05,287 --> 01:07:07,254
A one-way ticket to hell.

1534
01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:14,628
This place wishes
it was Shenanigans.

1535
01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:16,064
Welcome to Chicanery's, eh!

1536
01:07:16,666 --> 01:07:17,798
Can I get you a booth?

1537
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,233
Uh, no. We're meeting
somebody here.

1538
01:07:20,235 --> 01:07:21,401
Oh, yeah, there he is.

1539
01:07:23,838 --> 01:07:26,908
Cap!

1540
01:07:26,910 --> 01:07:28,774
Chief, we've been
looking all over for you.

1541
01:07:28,776 --> 01:07:30,410
Cap, Cap, Cap, I think
we've figured it out!

1542
01:07:30,412 --> 01:07:32,445
Chief. I think we cracked the thing.

1543
01:07:32,447 --> 01:07:34,282
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1544
01:07:34,284 --> 01:07:35,414
I've been waiting
here for an hour.

1545
01:07:35,416 --> 01:07:36,751
I think you're gonna
want to know this.

1546
01:07:36,753 --> 01:07:38,553
- This is my song.
- I know, but listen, I think we...

1547
01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:40,387
- I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down.
- No, no, no.

1548
01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:41,555
I'm singing here.

1549
01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,459
I'm singing here.
Sit the fuck down!

1550
01:07:51,767 --> 01:07:53,334
What can I get for you guys?

1551
01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:55,936
Maybe a cold beer?
Liter of cola?

1552
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:57,137
What did you say?

1553
01:07:57,139 --> 01:07:58,271
Do you want a liter of cola?

1554
01:07:58,273 --> 01:07:59,640
You have that here?

1555
01:07:59,642 --> 01:08:01,075
Yeah, we got
the Decaliter Delight.

1556
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,376
You get a punch card, you
rack up ten liters of cola,

1557
01:08:03,378 --> 01:08:04,544
get yourself a free dessert.

1558
01:08:04,546 --> 01:08:06,249
Bring them all.
Bring them all right now.

1559
01:08:07,515 --> 01:08:09,216
Bring all ten liters
and the punch card.

1560
01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:10,253
I want it all right now.

1561
01:08:12,387 --> 01:08:13,454
Come on.

1562
01:08:13,456 --> 01:08:14,988
Canada's pretty awesome.

1563
01:08:14,990 --> 01:08:17,190
- Boop boop.
- Uh, don't do that.

1564
01:08:17,192 --> 01:08:19,929
- Boop beep boo boop beep.
- Cut the crap.

1565
01:08:26,501 --> 01:08:28,601
Genevieve?

1566
01:08:28,603 --> 01:08:32,006
I feel terrible
about what I said to you.

1567
01:08:32,008 --> 01:08:34,041
I know I overreacted.

1568
01:08:34,043 --> 01:08:37,511
It's just the town is so upset
about the turnover.

1569
01:08:37,513 --> 01:08:38,578
Sure.

1570
01:08:38,580 --> 01:08:40,680
Anyway,
you are not a bad person.

1571
01:08:40,682 --> 01:08:42,483
Even if you are American.

1572
01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:45,586
Well, I've actually been
working on that for you.

1573
01:08:45,588 --> 01:08:46,720
- For me?
- Yeah.

1574
01:08:46,722 --> 01:08:49,356
Moosehead. Canadian beer.

1575
01:08:49,358 --> 01:08:51,425
Beaver chili.
<i>Très Canadien.</i>

1576
01:08:52,594 --> 01:08:54,797
And I've been working
on my French too.

1577
01:08:57,467 --> 01:09:00,133
Oh, I love this song!

1578
01:09:00,135 --> 01:09:04,270
Oh, it reminds me of summers
on <i>Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois.</i>

1579
01:09:18,554 --> 01:09:21,355
Wow! That's very good.

1580
01:09:21,357 --> 01:09:23,556
Oh, I wouldn't say that, but,

1581
01:09:23,558 --> 01:09:24,824
I don't even know
what it means.

1582
01:09:24,826 --> 01:09:28,564
It's a sad song about
the Nazi Occupation of France.

1583
01:09:29,898 --> 01:09:31,230
Oh.

1584
01:09:31,232 --> 01:09:32,466
I'm sorry. I...

1585
01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:33,699
No. No, no.

1586
01:09:33,701 --> 01:09:35,336
It's about two lovers

1587
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,672
trapped in a war
that neither wanted,

1588
01:09:38,674 --> 01:09:41,711
but they love
each other anyway.

1589
01:09:42,277 --> 01:09:43,444
Oh.

1590
01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,782
So much better.

1591
01:09:58,626 --> 01:10:00,228
- Is this really happening?
- Oh, yes.

1592
01:10:02,063 --> 01:10:03,296
I love it.

1593
01:10:04,767 --> 01:10:05,899
Wait, wait, wait.

1594
01:10:05,901 --> 01:10:08,001
- Where is the fat one's desk?
- Right there.

1595
01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:09,168
Okay.

1596
01:10:09,170 --> 01:10:10,503
You don't know his name?

1597
01:10:10,505 --> 01:10:11,939
Flarvla.

1598
01:10:11,941 --> 01:10:13,876
I smell a new nickname.

1599
01:10:14,576 --> 01:10:16,144
Guess we hurry.

1600
01:10:22,851 --> 01:10:24,950
Passive smuggling?
It's brilliant.

1601
01:10:24,952 --> 01:10:26,252
And it's gotta
be the Mounties.

1602
01:10:26,254 --> 01:10:27,154
Why?

1603
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:29,155
'Cause it's always
the local cops.

1604
01:10:29,157 --> 01:10:30,222
Here's your punch card.

1605
01:10:32,460 --> 01:10:34,694
Five, six, seven, eight.

1606
01:10:34,696 --> 01:10:37,030
Number nine. This is ten.

1607
01:10:37,032 --> 01:10:39,666
Technically, you have to drink
all ten to get the dessert.

1608
01:10:39,668 --> 01:10:40,734
Oh, you challenging me?

1609
01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:42,101
This will be gone
in three seconds.

1610
01:10:42,103 --> 01:10:44,105
I'll have
the butter tart yule log.

1611
01:10:44,107 --> 01:10:45,940
Come on. Chop-chop!

1612
01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:47,844
Just do it, dude.

1613
01:10:50,211 --> 01:10:51,779
Canada!

1614
01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:53,079
And the beauty is,

1615
01:10:53,081 --> 01:10:54,748
there's nothing they can do
with all that contraband,

1616
01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:56,583
until this land
becomes America.

1617
01:10:56,585 --> 01:10:58,918
So all we have to do
is push back the turnover,

1618
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:00,753
until we can find
the rest of the stuff.

1619
01:11:00,755 --> 01:11:02,021
Well, you heard LeFranc.

1620
01:11:02,023 --> 01:11:03,990
Who knows what's gonna happen
with the turnover?

1621
01:11:03,992 --> 01:11:07,159
Whatever happens,
we gotta solve this case. Now.

1622
01:11:07,161 --> 01:11:09,129
Let's take another look
at that contraband.

1623
01:11:09,131 --> 01:11:11,597
We may have missed something.

1624
01:11:11,599 --> 01:11:14,267
Hold on! I didn't
get my free dessert.

1625
01:11:14,269 --> 01:11:15,334
Move it, Farva!

1626
01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:17,404
Come on! It's a fucki''
butter tart yule log!

1627
01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,573
Let's go! Now!

1628
01:11:19,575 --> 01:11:20,809
Damn it.

1629
01:11:23,211 --> 01:11:24,944
Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal.

1630
01:11:24,946 --> 01:11:27,082
Walk faster, finger blaster.

1631
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:39,793
Son of a... Rabbit!

1632
01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:40,894
Whoa!

1633
01:11:40,896 --> 01:11:42,895
Whoa!
The booty's gone!

1634
01:11:42,897 --> 01:11:44,299
Did they take
the Flova Scotia?

1635
01:11:45,433 --> 01:11:47,802
In addition to Rabbit!

1636
01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:50,002
Hold your bones.
Rabbit's car.

1637
01:11:50,004 --> 01:11:52,004
The dash cam! Look at this.

1638
01:11:52,006 --> 01:11:53,641
Ooh, you clever
little prick, you.

1639
01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,141
Prick? I'm tired
of these putdowns!

1640
01:11:55,143 --> 01:11:56,709
It's a compliment,
shithead.

1641
01:11:56,711 --> 01:11:59,081
Fuck you,
midget Burt Reynolds.

1642
01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:02,919
- Mm.
- Mm-mm.

1643
01:12:04,085 --> 01:12:06,319
Oh, a little ménage à two.

1644
01:12:06,321 --> 01:12:07,957
Mm.

1645
01:12:08,823 --> 01:12:10,524
- Ah.
- Yeah, partner.

1646
01:12:12,361 --> 01:12:14,595
Can you believe she picked
Donnie Osmond over me?

1647
01:12:14,597 --> 01:12:16,762
- Yes.
- I mean, is anyone else shocked here?

1648
01:12:16,764 --> 01:12:18,131
- No.
- And on my desk?

1649
01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:20,566
Shut up, Farva.
This is serious.

1650
01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:22,535
- Whoa!
- What the fuck?

1651
01:12:22,537 --> 01:12:24,038
Now how are
we gonna find them?

1652
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,640
All those iPhones
had the same number.

1653
01:12:26,642 --> 01:12:28,641
Now, if we only
had a triangulator,

1654
01:12:28,643 --> 01:12:29,878
we could locate them.

1655
01:12:31,012 --> 01:12:33,913
Aha! Take that,
you bastards.

1656
01:12:33,915 --> 01:12:35,748
Those are the
phones right there.

1657
01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:36,985
Enhance.

1658
01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:39,586
All right,
but what is this place?

1659
01:12:39,588 --> 01:12:40,790
Enhance.

1660
01:12:42,424 --> 01:12:44,591
- Enhance.
- Okay, okay.

1661
01:12:44,593 --> 01:12:46,427
<i>"Sciere de la Vache."</i>

1662
01:12:46,429 --> 01:12:48,561
All right, you guys speak
French, what does that mean?

1663
01:12:48,563 --> 01:12:52,099
I don't
know what <i>sciere</i> means

1664
01:12:52,101 --> 01:12:54,135
and I also don't know
what <i>vache</i> means.

1665
01:12:54,137 --> 01:12:56,535
So you really don't
understand anything?

1666
01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:57,872
<i>Sciere de la Vache?</i>

1667
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,373
I believe it's
"The Scary Vase".

1668
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,909
Yeah, yeah. Let's
see, <i>sciere</i> is "beetle".

1669
01:13:02,911 --> 01:13:04,977
- Beetle vase. No. Yes.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1670
01:13:04,979 --> 01:13:08,248
But <i>la vache</i> is "angry".
"Angry Beetle."

1671
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,083
- Okay.
- Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think.

1672
01:13:10,085 --> 01:13:13,220
It's "The Sawmill of the Cow",
you idiots!

1673
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,654
It's a sawmill!

1674
01:13:14,656 --> 01:13:17,690
- Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No.
- It doesn't make any sense.

1675
01:13:17,692 --> 01:13:19,793
Let's go and give those
Canuckleheads

1676
01:13:19,795 --> 01:13:22,163
a good old-fashioned
red-white-and-blue,

1677
01:13:22,165 --> 01:13:23,262
fist-fucking!

1678
01:13:23,264 --> 01:13:24,704
Yeah! Let's do it!

1679
01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:27,937
Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!

1680
01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,238
Whoa!

1681
01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:30,770
Shit.

1682
01:13:37,245 --> 01:13:39,846
Hey, pull over.
I gotta take a pee-ahs.

1683
01:13:39,848 --> 01:13:41,284
Shouldn't have drank
all that soda.

1684
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,084
You know, it just now
occurred to me,

1685
01:13:45,086 --> 01:13:46,720
you and I have never been
alone together before.

1686
01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:49,155
Yeah, thank God.

1687
01:13:49,157 --> 01:13:51,925
Seriously. Have we ever had
a one-on-one conversation?

1688
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,130
Why would we? You seem
like a pretty boring dude.

1689
01:13:55,731 --> 01:13:57,998
You still banging
that blonde cop, or...

1690
01:14:04,171 --> 01:14:05,374
Where the hell
are they going?

1691
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,343
That was the turn, back there.

1692
01:14:10,345 --> 01:14:12,378
Are you sure?
I don't think so.

1693
01:14:12,380 --> 01:14:14,480
Have you completely lost
your sense of direction?

1694
01:14:14,482 --> 01:14:17,050
Well, your yelling at me
certainly doesn't help!

1695
01:14:17,052 --> 01:14:18,517
Cap's right, Thorn.
That was the turn.

1696
01:14:18,519 --> 01:14:21,120
Shut up, Mr. Perfect.

1697
01:14:21,122 --> 01:14:23,392
Whoa!

1698
01:14:40,275 --> 01:14:41,775
I saw that!

1699
01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:43,142
Where are those
female sex pills?

1700
01:14:43,144 --> 01:14:44,077
Cap!

1701
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:45,481
Give them me!
Give them me!

1702
01:14:52,019 --> 01:14:53,222
Thank you.

1703
01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,102
No sign of Rabbit.

1704
01:15:10,104 --> 01:15:12,705
But I got two Mountie cars...

1705
01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,608
and our contraband.

1706
01:15:15,610 --> 01:15:16,679
Where the hell's Farva?

1707
01:15:18,879 --> 01:15:20,615
Ah. I got him.

1708
01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:26,252
He's like a walking
hydrothermal explosion.

1709
01:15:26,254 --> 01:15:28,591
You want to see
some fartography?

1710
01:15:30,724 --> 01:15:31,858
I'm still gonna go back

1711
01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:33,396
and get that
butter tart yule log.

1712
01:15:34,329 --> 01:15:37,265
All right, boys.
Let's milk this cow.

1713
01:15:44,874 --> 01:15:46,105
I moved this
stuff the last time.

1714
01:15:46,107 --> 01:15:47,873
I don't
want to lift it either.

1715
01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,109
You don't move anything.

1716
01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,380
You don't move your body,
you don't move boxes.

1717
01:15:53,081 --> 01:15:54,616
One, two, three, go!

1718
01:15:59,155 --> 01:16:00,419
Alright freeze!
You're under arrest!

1719
01:16:00,421 --> 01:16:02,789
Bullshit, eh!
You're under arrest!

1720
01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:04,190
Bullshit,
you fucking smugglers!

1721
01:16:04,192 --> 01:16:06,092
We're not the smugglers!
You're the fucking smugglers.

1722
01:16:06,094 --> 01:16:07,159
We're not
the fucking smugglers!

1723
01:16:07,161 --> 01:16:08,227
You're the fucking smugglers!

1724
01:16:08,229 --> 01:16:09,729
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

1725
01:16:09,731 --> 01:16:11,663
Everyone, lower your weapons!

1726
01:16:11,665 --> 01:16:12,632
Something's not right.

1727
01:16:12,634 --> 01:16:15,901
Wait, wait, wait.
The old-timey one is right.

1728
01:16:15,903 --> 01:16:17,740
Something doesn't add up here.

1729
01:16:20,207 --> 01:16:22,376
- Oh, shit!
- Die, you fucking smuggler!

1730
01:16:22,378 --> 01:16:23,776
Farva, you idiot!

1731
01:16:25,013 --> 01:16:27,047
Put the gun down!
Put the gun down!

1732
01:16:27,049 --> 01:16:28,582
Fuck you. Fuck you.

1733
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:29,449
Put down the fuckin' gun!

1734
01:16:29,451 --> 01:16:31,752
Drop the gun,
I don't want to shoot!

1735
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:33,319
You fuckin' Canadians!

1736
01:16:33,321 --> 01:16:34,387
Cool.

1737
01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:37,226
What the fuck
are you guys doing?

1738
01:16:43,098 --> 01:16:44,730
Apropos, right?

1739
01:16:44,732 --> 01:16:46,332
Go on, kill each other.

1740
01:16:46,334 --> 01:16:49,068
What ever happened to "Shoot
first and ask questions later"?

1741
01:16:49,070 --> 01:16:50,671
Uh, what the shit, Guy?

1742
01:16:50,673 --> 01:16:53,138
Why you tell us these guys
are the smuggler, huh?

1743
01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:54,675
Well, it's a lot smarter
than telling you

1744
01:16:54,677 --> 01:16:56,008
that I'm the smuggler.

1745
01:16:56,010 --> 01:16:58,177
What do you mean,
you're the smuggler?

1746
01:16:58,179 --> 01:17:00,879
I'm sorry, but what else
was I gonna do?

1747
01:17:00,881 --> 01:17:03,048
Being the mayor
of a small Canadian town

1748
01:17:03,050 --> 01:17:04,383
sounds romantic and cool.

1749
01:17:04,385 --> 01:17:06,218
Being the mayor
of a small American town

1750
01:17:06,220 --> 01:17:08,555
sounds like you're a loser.
For reals.

1751
01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:11,358
You got to admit it's a good scam.

1752
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:12,892
All along the borderline.

1753
01:17:12,894 --> 01:17:14,194
But I never would've
thought that

1754
01:17:14,196 --> 01:17:16,296
the guys from
the Fred Savage incident,

1755
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,231
would be the ones
to trip me up.

1756
01:17:18,233 --> 01:17:20,266
These are the cops
that killed Fred Savage?

1757
01:17:20,268 --> 01:17:21,467
Sadly.

1758
01:17:21,469 --> 01:17:26,105
But I will say, this little
rivalry between police forces,

1759
01:17:26,107 --> 01:17:28,208
is the perfect opportunity
to take you both out.

1760
01:17:28,210 --> 01:17:29,775
Well, now we're taking you in.

1761
01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,177
I'm sorry.

1762
01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:33,312
But that's not the way
it's going to go.

1763
01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:35,351
Henri, if you
would be so kind.

1764
01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:38,752
- No!
- Oh, Jesus.

1765
01:17:38,754 --> 01:17:41,553
- Holy shit!
- And do pay attention to that man behind the curtain.

1766
01:17:46,528 --> 01:17:47,828
Your Rabbit
wasn't quick enough.

1767
01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:50,230
Maybe next time,
he'll hop a little faster, eh?

1768
01:17:50,232 --> 01:17:51,398
If anything happens to him,

1769
01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:53,432
I'm gonna fuck you
six ways to Sunday!

1770
01:17:53,434 --> 01:17:57,136
Jeez Louise. Now I know who
gobbled all my Flova Scotia.

1771
01:17:58,540 --> 01:18:00,873
So, drop your guns,

1772
01:18:00,875 --> 01:18:02,909
or the Rabbit
and his girlfriend

1773
01:18:02,911 --> 01:18:06,846
will multiply
in gruesome fashion.

1774
01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:07,849
I'm so sorry.

1775
01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:13,252
Let her go, Guy. She has
nothing to do with this!

1776
01:18:13,254 --> 01:18:14,954
Well, if they put
their guns down,

1777
01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:16,191
no harm will come to her.

1778
01:18:19,728 --> 01:18:20,729
Go on. Drop them.

1779
01:18:21,863 --> 01:18:23,698
Drop your guns.
Drop it.

1780
01:18:27,469 --> 01:18:29,305
Now get those
hands in the air.

1781
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:31,173
Like you just don't care.

1782
01:18:33,642 --> 01:18:35,074
So, are you ready...

1783
01:18:38,914 --> 01:18:40,249
for the big twist?

1784
01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:50,726
What the fuck?

1785
01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:54,396
What are you doing? What?

1786
01:18:55,263 --> 01:18:57,096
Shut the front door!

1787
01:18:57,098 --> 01:18:58,400
Genevieve.

1788
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:00,566
What's going on here?

1789
01:19:00,568 --> 01:19:02,302
He'll kill me.
Let me out of my chains.

1790
01:19:02,304 --> 01:19:04,703
What the fuck
took you so long, Guy?

1791
01:19:04,705 --> 01:19:07,306
First I have to have
his circumcised dick in me

1792
01:19:07,308 --> 01:19:09,108
and then you tie me
to this log?

1793
01:19:18,821 --> 01:19:20,252
Are you fucking
kidding me?

1794
01:19:23,023 --> 01:19:24,524
I hate you!

1795
01:19:24,526 --> 01:19:25,624
I hate you.

1796
01:19:25,626 --> 01:19:26,629
Shoot them.

1797
01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:29,695
Shoot them all.

1798
01:19:29,697 --> 01:19:30,865
With pleasure, boss.

1799
01:19:32,067 --> 01:19:33,233
Hold on!

1800
01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:37,136
If I'm going down,
I'm going down American!

1801
01:20:04,066 --> 01:20:05,568
All right,
enough with that song.

1802
01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:07,967
Shoot them.

1803
01:20:16,111 --> 01:20:17,780
Hurry, it's about
to slice my johnson!

1804
01:20:22,817 --> 01:20:23,882
This is not happening.

1805
01:20:37,631 --> 01:20:39,731
That was a hell
of a thing to do.

1806
01:20:39,733 --> 01:20:42,235
I guess my maternal
instinct is kicking in.

1807
01:20:45,107 --> 01:20:46,638
<i>La vache.</i>

1808
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:47,807
What?

1809
01:20:47,809 --> 01:20:48,843
Shoot the cow.

1810
01:20:49,777 --> 01:20:50,778
Ah!

1811
01:20:58,518 --> 01:21:00,655
Damn it! I'm out of bullets!

1812
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:02,388
I got one more!

1813
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:03,592
Make it count!

1814
01:21:10,965 --> 01:21:12,300
Oh!

1815
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:13,702
Ow.

1816
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:19,939
Gotta love that 48th bullet.

1817
01:21:19,941 --> 01:21:21,841
Drop it! Drop your weapon!

1818
01:21:21,843 --> 01:21:24,276
Come on,
get up from the dirt.

1819
01:21:24,278 --> 01:21:26,745
I'm about to get neutered!

1820
01:21:26,747 --> 01:21:27,846
Hang on!

1821
01:21:27,848 --> 01:21:29,582
Get this outta here!

1822
01:21:29,584 --> 01:21:31,754
Get me off this!

1823
01:21:33,321 --> 01:21:34,654
I don't think so.

1824
01:21:34,656 --> 01:21:39,059
Okay. Now you've lit the fuse
of the Halifax Explosion.

1825
01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:41,226
Yeah. In my day...

1826
01:21:41,228 --> 01:21:42,828
when your big boy teeth
came in,

1827
01:21:42,830 --> 01:21:45,198
your hockey coach
would pull them out...

1828
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:46,466
so you wouldn't
miss a shift.

1829
01:21:46,468 --> 01:21:48,534
Yeah? In my country,

1830
01:21:48,536 --> 01:21:50,636
we let the Tooth Fairy
deal with that shit.

1831
01:21:50,638 --> 01:21:53,138
You would know all about
fairies, wouldn't you?

1832
01:21:53,140 --> 01:21:54,340
Okay. Let's do this,
moosefucker.

1833
01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:55,475
Yeah, you want to do it?

1834
01:21:55,477 --> 01:21:56,842
- You wanna go?
- Yeah. Let's go.

1835
01:21:56,844 --> 01:21:59,712
- Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go?
- Yeah. I wanna go.

1836
01:21:59,714 --> 01:22:02,481
Ooh, clip-on.
Little tacky, eh?

1837
01:22:17,131 --> 01:22:18,364
Yeah!

1838
01:22:18,366 --> 01:22:19,899
That's one former
hockey player

1839
01:22:19,901 --> 01:22:21,100
who can shut the puck up!

1840
01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:22,168
Right, guys?

1841
01:22:23,537 --> 01:22:25,607
Shit, that was a good line.

1842
01:22:28,643 --> 01:22:30,443
Come on, damn it!

1843
01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:31,847
Oh, my God!

1844
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:46,758
That's great!
That's great!

1845
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:48,828
What the
hell is wrong with you guys?

1846
01:22:48,830 --> 01:22:50,997
It's like none of you Yanks
ever operated

1847
01:22:50,999 --> 01:22:53,600
an industrial grade
rotary timber saw, eh?

1848
01:22:53,602 --> 01:22:55,267
Hey! What about your accent?

1849
01:22:55,269 --> 01:23:00,071
Andrea Spooner,
Ontario Provincial Police.

1850
01:23:00,073 --> 01:23:01,708
- What?
- Shut up!

1851
01:23:01,710 --> 01:23:02,711
What?

1852
01:23:12,786 --> 01:23:15,520
Why is the Vermont
Highway Patrol even here?

1853
01:23:15,522 --> 01:23:18,024
I've been undercover
three years.

1854
01:23:18,026 --> 01:23:19,124
Part of a task force...

1855
01:23:19,126 --> 01:23:20,493
with the
Organized Crime Unit

1856
01:23:20,495 --> 01:23:22,395
of the Ontario
Provincial Police.

1857
01:23:22,397 --> 01:23:23,829
She's down with OPP.

1858
01:23:23,831 --> 01:23:27,800
You assholes just blew
three years of work for me.

1859
01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:29,502
I was this close
to getting their supplier.

1860
01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:30,837
Now I'll never get them.

1861
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,239
Well, I'm happy to offer you
full cooperation of our...

1862
01:23:33,241 --> 01:23:34,643
Shut the fuck up!

1863
01:23:35,710 --> 01:23:37,276
Hm.

1864
01:23:37,278 --> 01:23:38,677
- Wow.
- Wow.

1865
01:23:38,679 --> 01:23:40,713
Hey, guys,
do me a solid, eh?

1866
01:23:40,715 --> 01:23:41,914
When you're sweeping up
back there,

1867
01:23:41,916 --> 01:23:43,315
keep an eye out
for my falsies.

1868
01:23:43,317 --> 01:23:45,284
Nah. You're not
going to need teeth

1869
01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:46,452
where you're going, eh.

1870
01:23:46,454 --> 01:23:48,253
You were our hero, Guy.

1871
01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:49,989
An hockey player
who owned a whorehouse.

1872
01:23:49,991 --> 01:23:51,623
Yeah, and to think
you spent 11 years

1873
01:23:51,625 --> 01:23:52,958
in the Canadian system.

1874
01:23:52,960 --> 01:23:55,560
Newsy Lalonde would be rolling
in his grave right now.

1875
01:23:55,562 --> 01:23:58,230
You would have fit
in good in Calgary, eh.

1876
01:23:58,232 --> 01:23:59,931
Talk about a bunch of goon.

1877
01:23:59,933 --> 01:24:01,635
Especially
that defenseman Bonchance.

1878
01:24:01,637 --> 01:24:03,002
That guy is the worst.

1879
01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:04,169
What a mucker, that guy, eh?

1880
01:24:04,171 --> 01:24:07,440
No, he end up in the QSPHL
by the time he's 38.

1881
01:24:07,442 --> 01:24:09,044
Boring!

1882
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:12,514
Easy! Easy!

1883
01:24:12,847 --> 01:24:14,114
Ah! Oh!

1884
01:24:14,116 --> 01:24:15,681
There he is!

1885
01:24:15,683 --> 01:24:17,516
They wrapped you
in the Japanese flag.

1886
01:24:19,519 --> 01:24:21,587
Hey, man,
thanks for saving my life.

1887
01:24:21,589 --> 01:24:23,855
I don't know what I would
have done without you.

1888
01:24:23,857 --> 01:24:26,124
Oh, that's okay,
I don't need a hug.

1889
01:24:26,126 --> 01:24:27,562
It's not for you.

1890
01:24:30,264 --> 01:24:31,467
Okay.

1891
01:24:32,666 --> 01:24:35,504
Careful, careful, careful!

1892
01:24:40,207 --> 01:24:42,074
Dude, are you lactating?

1893
01:24:42,076 --> 01:24:45,944
I'm just doing what my body
tells me to do, okay?

1894
01:24:45,946 --> 01:24:48,381
Okay, Thorn.
You're the tits!

1895
01:24:48,383 --> 01:24:49,949
Good luck with
the wet T-shirt contest.

1896
01:25:05,967 --> 01:25:07,102
Men.

1897
01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:10,904
How are ya feelin'?

1898
01:25:10,906 --> 01:25:12,571
Oh, it's okay.

1899
01:25:12,573 --> 01:25:15,041
I'm so sorry about saying
"I hate you" back there.

1900
01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:17,409
Yeah. I know.
I'm sorry I lied.

1901
01:25:17,411 --> 01:25:18,810
I just can't believe
I didn't know.

1902
01:25:18,812 --> 01:25:21,717
Well, you were very sweet,
but also very gullible.

1903
01:25:27,589 --> 01:25:29,455
Maybe you and I
could get together

1904
01:25:29,457 --> 01:25:32,292
and listen to some
old-timey French music...

1905
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,360
when that gets
all healed up.

1906
01:25:34,362 --> 01:25:35,597
Yeah, sure.

1907
01:25:39,299 --> 01:25:40,936
Fuckin' Canadian.

1908
01:25:43,670 --> 01:25:47,472
- Give me 50 cc's of morphine, shaving cream and a razor.
- A razor for what?

1909
01:25:47,474 --> 01:25:49,042
To remove the hair
from your testicles.

1910
01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,109
I have to stitch you up.

1911
01:25:50,111 --> 01:25:51,776
Why would
you need to stitch me up?

1912
01:25:51,778 --> 01:25:53,046
It's like a paper cut.

1913
01:25:53,048 --> 01:25:55,047
All we need to do is get
a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!

1914
01:25:55,049 --> 01:25:56,181
Happy trails!

1915
01:25:56,183 --> 01:25:59,151
Looks like the rook's getting
his nuts shaved after all.

1916
01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:07,493
- Who wants coffee?
- Sounds good.

1917
01:26:14,235 --> 01:26:15,670
Captain O'Hagan!

1918
01:26:16,972 --> 01:26:19,972
I hear you and your men
did some good work.

1919
01:26:19,974 --> 01:26:22,809
We did.
We caught the smugglers.

1920
01:26:22,811 --> 01:26:23,876
Again.

1921
01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:28,381
What the hell was that?

1922
01:26:28,383 --> 01:26:30,516
Oh, shit.

1923
01:26:33,454 --> 01:26:36,788
Done and done.

1924
01:26:36,790 --> 01:26:39,958
This little piggy cried,
"God damn! That hurt!"

1925
01:26:40,827 --> 01:26:42,529
What the hell happened to you?

1926
01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:44,497
Ah. I just lost a pussy bet.

1927
01:26:44,499 --> 01:26:46,164
If I "toed" ya,
I'd have to kill ya.

1928
01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:47,400
Oh!

1929
01:26:47,402 --> 01:26:49,068
Watch the hoof! Ow!
Watch the hoof!

1930
01:26:50,405 --> 01:26:53,672
Officers! Cassandra Anne
Gacek, Action Five News.

1931
01:26:53,674 --> 01:26:55,574
Given your involvement
with this bust

1932
01:26:55,576 --> 01:26:56,842
how does it feel to know

1933
01:26:56,844 --> 01:26:58,613
that you are still
being replaced?

1934
01:26:59,946 --> 01:27:04,784
Uh, you know, when they first
arrive I am wondering:

1935
01:27:04,786 --> 01:27:06,318
"Who are these people

1936
01:27:06,320 --> 01:27:08,520
they come here
taked our land?"

1937
01:27:08,522 --> 01:27:11,226
But then I have it,
my answer, huh.

1938
01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:16,462
They are heroes.

1939
01:27:16,464 --> 01:27:17,863
Aw!

1940
01:27:17,865 --> 01:27:22,168
These men... they putted their
life on the line for us.

1941
01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:25,739
One of them,
he even saved my life.

1942
01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:29,242
This tan guy here
with the wet tits.

1943
01:27:30,210 --> 01:27:33,178
- But we hate Americans!
- I hear you. I hear you.

1944
01:27:33,180 --> 01:27:34,547
But I have to tell you...

1945
01:27:34,549 --> 01:27:36,516
if these gentlemen
are an example

1946
01:27:36,518 --> 01:27:39,017
of what it means
to be American...

1947
01:27:39,019 --> 01:27:39,952
I'm okay.

1948
01:27:39,954 --> 01:27:42,187
Then I am proud to be
an American too.

1949
01:27:42,189 --> 01:27:45,257
- All right.
- I am. I'm proud to be American.

1950
01:27:45,259 --> 01:27:47,627
So, we're leaving
to start our station up north.

1951
01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:48,860
But I say
with great confidence

1952
01:27:48,862 --> 01:27:50,096
that we couldn't leave you
in better hands

1953
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:53,666
than in those
of the Vermont Highway Patrol.

1954
01:27:58,406 --> 01:28:01,408
How does it feel to be the coolest
motherfucker on this planet?

1955
01:28:01,410 --> 01:28:04,310
You tell me, buddy.
You tell me.

1956
01:28:04,312 --> 01:28:07,646
Aw.

1957
01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,950
Uh, yeah. Excuse me.

1958
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,318
Hold on.

1959
01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:14,787
Actually,
I'm here to tell you

1960
01:28:14,789 --> 01:28:16,890
that the U.S.
and Canadian governments

1961
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:19,124
have decided to postpone
the turnover

1962
01:28:19,126 --> 01:28:22,160
until the rest of the
hidden contraband is found.

1963
01:28:22,162 --> 01:28:24,596
So, wait.

1964
01:28:24,598 --> 01:28:27,132
Are we Canadians
or are we Americans?

1965
01:28:27,134 --> 01:28:29,767
You're still Canadians
for now.

1966
01:28:29,769 --> 01:28:33,038
And that's going
to continue indefinitely.

1967
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:34,242
Sorry.

1968
01:28:38,312 --> 01:28:41,948
Okay, so we are now in control
of this area again, eh?

1969
01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:44,117
No, no.
We both have authority.

1970
01:28:44,119 --> 01:28:45,685
You got the authority
to go take

1971
01:28:45,687 --> 01:28:47,119
a flying fuck
at a rolling doughnut.

1972
01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,154
Hey, we just saved your lives,
you remember that?

1973
01:28:49,156 --> 01:28:50,788
We have an expression here.

1974
01:28:50,790 --> 01:28:52,958
It go, "What have you done
for me lately?"

1975
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,394
Yeah, maybe
we'll haul your ass

1976
01:28:54,396 --> 01:28:55,560
back out to the woods naked.

1977
01:28:55,562 --> 01:28:58,596
Or maybe we could burn down
your White House again! Eh?

1978
01:28:58,598 --> 01:28:59,931
What the hell does that mean?

1979
01:28:59,933 --> 01:29:02,702
The War of 1812, eh.
Learn your history.

1980
01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:09,007
Oh! You punched the mustache
right off his face!

1981
01:29:09,009 --> 01:29:11,711
No, no, no! Look,
he's wearing a postiche, eh!

1982
01:29:13,848 --> 01:29:15,681
You shut up about his
postiche, come on!

1983
01:29:45,914 --> 01:29:47,154
What do you got?

1984
01:29:47,781 --> 01:29:48,814
Cat in a tree.

1985
01:29:48,816 --> 01:29:51,318
Ah, yeah.

1986
01:29:51,952 --> 01:29:53,052
Hey, Fred Savage.

1987
01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,787
- How's it going?
- Macintyre Womack.

1988
01:29:54,789 --> 01:29:56,189
Oh, pleasure to meet you,
Officer.

1989
01:29:56,191 --> 01:29:56,954
Carl Foster.

1990
01:29:56,956 --> 01:29:58,457
Nice to meet you. Fred.

1991
01:29:58,459 --> 01:30:00,126
So, what's with the ride-along?
You got a cop movie coming out?

1992
01:30:00,128 --> 01:30:02,293
Uh, no, it's actually a new
show for the Syfy Channel.

1993
01:30:02,295 --> 01:30:05,832
Kind of a small-town alien
invasion show called <i>Vermonsters.</i>

1994
01:30:05,834 --> 01:30:07,365
- Oh!
- I'd see that.

1995
01:30:07,367 --> 01:30:08,801
So, do you guys spend
a lot of time

1996
01:30:08,803 --> 01:30:10,435
getting, um,
cats out of trees?

1997
01:30:10,437 --> 01:30:12,303
Is that kinda the job?

1998
01:30:12,305 --> 01:30:14,205
No, we get the call and then
we call the Fire Department.

1999
01:30:14,207 --> 01:30:15,909
- They get the damn thing out.
- Oh.

2000
01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:18,543
Could I actually trouble you
for a quick selfie?

2001
01:30:18,545 --> 01:30:20,945
I'm a big <i>Princess Bride</i> fan.

2002
01:30:20,947 --> 01:30:22,080
Yes. My pleasure.

2003
01:30:22,082 --> 01:30:23,649
That was my "get laid movie"
in high school.

2004
01:30:23,651 --> 01:30:25,184
Oh! You're welcome.

2005
01:30:25,186 --> 01:30:26,718
Buttercup!

2006
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:27,787
Holy shit!

2007
01:30:27,789 --> 01:30:28,686
- Did you get it?
- Nailed it.

2008
01:30:28,688 --> 01:30:30,256
Fred fuckin' Savage, huh?

2009
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,123
- Uh, yes. That's me.
- He's right here! Look at him!

2010
01:30:32,125 --> 01:30:33,626
- Yeah, we know.
- How are ya?

2011
01:30:33,628 --> 01:30:34,927
You still with Winnie?

2012
01:30:34,929 --> 01:30:37,029
Uh, no, no. Just a...
just a show, man.

2013
01:30:37,031 --> 01:30:39,164
- I call sloppy seconds!
- Okay, great.

2014
01:30:39,166 --> 01:30:41,033
I think I'm gonna get the cat.
I'm gonna get the cat.

2015
01:30:41,035 --> 01:30:42,400
Mr. Savage,
we can't let you do that,

2016
01:30:42,402 --> 01:30:43,302
because, you know, well,

2017
01:30:43,304 --> 01:30:44,537
we're responsible
for your safety.

2018
01:30:44,539 --> 01:30:46,105
Don't worry about it.
I'm an expert climber.

2019
01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,873
Remember the movie
<i>Super Monkey?</i>

2020
01:30:47,875 --> 01:30:49,242
Yeah.

2021
01:30:49,244 --> 01:30:50,542
I did all my own stunts
in that movie.

2022
01:30:50,544 --> 01:30:51,642
I'm good with the trees.

2023
01:30:51,644 --> 01:30:52,744
Okay.

2024
01:30:53,848 --> 01:30:56,414
Look at him go. Wow.

2025
01:30:56,416 --> 01:30:58,984
I can see it!
I got the cat.

2026
01:30:58,986 --> 01:31:00,586
Take it easy, Mr. Savage.

2027
01:31:00,588 --> 01:31:02,288
I thought <i>Super Monkey</i> sucked.

2028
01:31:02,290 --> 01:31:04,155
Yeah. And the monkeys
were so fuckin' fake.

2029
01:31:04,157 --> 01:31:06,324
- A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas.
- Hey, buddy.

2030
01:31:06,326 --> 01:31:08,026
Hey, you know,
I can hear you guys.

2031
01:31:08,028 --> 01:31:09,461
Alright, you should try
acting in a movie

2032
01:31:09,463 --> 01:31:11,462
and doing your own stunts.
It's really hard!

2033
01:31:11,464 --> 01:31:13,699
- Sure.
- All right, don't be dicks.

2034
01:31:20,709 --> 01:31:21,940
Woo!

2035
01:31:23,544 --> 01:31:24,743
Did you see that shit?!

2036
01:31:25,812 --> 01:31:27,779
Any of you motherfuckers
want some pussy?

2037
01:31:27,781 --> 01:31:29,548
What's up?!

2038
01:34:02,170 --> 01:34:04,404
<i>You reach
for your ticket book.</i>

2039
01:34:04,406 --> 01:34:05,337
I got ya. Okay.

2040
01:34:05,339 --> 01:34:07,808
'Scuse me. Sorry.
Sorry.

2041
01:34:10,311 --> 01:34:12,243
Don't worry about it.
Hold that for me.

2042
01:34:12,245 --> 01:34:13,611
<i>- Here we go. Ready?</i>
- Yeah.

2043
01:34:24,491 --> 01:34:27,226
Ooh!

2044
01:34:27,228 --> 01:34:29,194
I can't believe it's a crime
down in the U.S.

2045
01:34:29,196 --> 01:34:31,363
to drink beer
and enjoy tits and dick.

2046
01:34:31,365 --> 01:34:34,533
I mean, beep beep!
There's no harm there.

2047
01:34:34,535 --> 01:34:36,802
I mean...
There's no harm there.

2048
01:34:36,804 --> 01:34:39,441
It's a good workout, eh.

2049
01:34:41,308 --> 01:34:42,908
Cut. I could do that
all night.

2050
01:34:42,910 --> 01:34:44,877
I know...

2051
01:34:44,879 --> 01:34:46,944
And action!

2052
01:34:46,946 --> 01:34:48,713
Oh!

2053
01:34:48,715 --> 01:34:51,050
That's how easy it is.

2054
01:34:51,052 --> 01:34:52,717
Oh! Jesus Christ.
Motherfucker.

2055
01:34:52,719 --> 01:34:55,788
What do we got, till lunch?
We got till lunch?

2056
01:34:55,790 --> 01:34:56,855
Action.

2057
01:34:56,857 --> 01:34:58,091
Oh!

2058
01:34:58,093 --> 01:35:01,493
Which one of you guys
has a, le, a le seniority?

2059
01:35:07,300 --> 01:35:09,435
You got to blow
those cheeks out.

2060
01:35:09,437 --> 01:35:10,502
Okay.

2061
01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:14,138
I think I have some of your
mustache in my mouth.

2062
01:35:14,140 --> 01:35:15,708
Where's your asshole?

2063
01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:18,377
It's right about...
right there.

2064
01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:19,811
Just follow the heat.

2065
01:35:19,813 --> 01:35:23,048
First you steal our job
and now you sit here

2066
01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,783
getting a sensual massage
from a chair

2067
01:35:24,785 --> 01:35:28,619
in the center of the mall
with our women.

2068
01:35:28,621 --> 01:35:31,356
Can you shorten that?

2069
01:35:31,358 --> 01:35:33,158
No, that's the only way
I can say it.

2070
01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:35,761
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise.

2071
01:35:35,763 --> 01:35:38,196
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Lava Scotia.

2072
01:35:38,198 --> 01:35:39,364
Uh, Flova Scotia.

2073
01:35:39,366 --> 01:35:41,800
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.

2074
01:35:41,802 --> 01:35:43,903
- Uh, Flo, uh, Flova.
- Flova. God damn it.

2075
01:35:43,905 --> 01:35:45,104
All my Flava Scotia.

2076
01:35:45,106 --> 01:35:47,273
- All my Flava Scotia.
- Flova.

2077
01:35:47,275 --> 01:35:49,141
I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova.

2078
01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:52,110
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.

2079
01:35:52,112 --> 01:35:54,079
- Close?
- No. Not really.

2080
01:35:56,282 --> 01:35:58,484
What about this?!
What about this, huh?!

2081
01:35:58,486 --> 01:36:00,084
Didn't we
do that to like

2082
01:36:00,086 --> 01:36:01,886
a skinny blond guy
with a big forehead?

2083
01:36:01,888 --> 01:36:02,988
Smelled like bacon?

2084
01:36:02,990 --> 01:36:04,623
Always yakking about
Hot Pockets?

2085
01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:05,824
That was me.

2086
01:36:05,826 --> 01:36:07,959
You asked if I saw you

2087
01:36:07,961 --> 01:36:10,361
jumping around
all mimbly bimbly...

2088
01:36:10,363 --> 01:36:11,963
You asked if I saw you

2089
01:36:11,965 --> 01:36:14,800
jumping around
all nimby, ni...

2090
01:36:14,802 --> 01:36:16,668
All nibbily-bimbly.

2091
01:36:16,670 --> 01:36:18,537
Sorry, what...
It's nimbly-bimbly.

2092
01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:20,506
Come on, Gaffigan!

2093
01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:24,142
Idiot.

2094
01:36:24,144 --> 01:36:29,315
<i>Bon vivant bouillabaisse,
croissant, le chicken cordon bleu?</i>

2095
01:36:29,317 --> 01:36:31,749
Eh, that's a little much.

2096
01:36:31,751 --> 01:36:34,218
- This one says "Tiger Penis".
- Suck it!

2097
01:36:34,220 --> 01:36:36,887
- Shut up, Farva.
- Sorry. It's just funny.

2098
01:36:36,889 --> 01:36:39,691
Eh...

2099
01:36:39,693 --> 01:36:41,360
What the shit, Guy?

2100
01:36:41,362 --> 01:36:42,694
Why you tell us
they are the smuggler...

2101
01:36:42,696 --> 01:36:45,696
Sorry, I'm sorry.

2102
01:36:45,698 --> 01:36:47,902
Uh... Eh...

2103
01:36:48,869 --> 01:36:51,168
All right. All right.
Here we go, here we go.

2104
01:36:51,170 --> 01:36:52,837
- Just gotta find it.
- Yeah, I got it.

2105
01:36:52,839 --> 01:36:54,575
Uh...

2106
01:36:58,077 --> 01:37:01,078
Uh... Eh...

2107
01:37:01,080 --> 01:37:03,748
Sorry. I'm totally...
Okay, okay.

2108
01:37:03,750 --> 01:37:04,850
Hey, cut it.

2109
01:39:00,397 --> 01:39:05,397
Subtitles by <font color="
Resync by GoldenBeard

2110
01:39:28,195 --> 01:39:29,597
Mm-mm.