1 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,840 Tell you what, mate... on the house. 2 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,320 Thanks. 3 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,200 You're having a party? 4 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,000 Ugh, nothing to do with me, eh? 5 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,280 Eddie took the booking, reckons it's worth 10 grand. 6 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,480 Denny boy, beer's off. 7 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,520 So this is how it is now. 8 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,640 They got the settlement to the judge before I realised what I'd signed. 9 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:07,640 It's all in the courts now. - So until you sort it out, they're just... Here. 10 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,240 They're here. 11 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,040 All the time. 12 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,680 I'm gonna try and brighten the place up a bit, Ed. 13 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,000 It's so drab in here. 14 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,960 Hmm! Hello. 15 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,320 Go on then. Who's dead? 16 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,840 Actually, I just came to say hello. 17 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,720 OK, a bit weird. 18 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,720 I just thought recently maybe you haven't been yourself. 19 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,240 Whatever gave you that idea? 20 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,320 You know, if you ever need to speak to anyone... 21 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:55,840 Didn't know you cared. 22 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,800 I don't. I meant Jesús. 23 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,120 ♪ Olé, olé... ♪ 24 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,920 Oh, I love this one! 25 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,840 Come on, Eddie, let's dance. 26 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,120 Come on! 27 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,040 Oh! 28 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,960 Woo hoo! 29 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,640 I'm just saying, I know how hard this must be. 30 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,600 If there's anything I can do. 31 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,400 ♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot! ♪ 32 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,960 Do you know anyone that can have a man killed? 33 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,080 That's not funny. 34 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,480 I'm joking. 35 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,880 I'd do it myself. 36 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,120 ♪ Ole, ole, ole, ole! ♪ 37 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,840 ♪ Ole, ole, ole, ole! ♪ 38 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,240 ♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot! ♪ 39 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,120 ♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot! ♪ 40 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,360 Oh, hi! 41 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,640 I didn't see you there. I was just, uh, reading this book. 42 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,440 I am meeting Angela in a bar around the corner, 43 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,600 so I am just practising talking in English. 44 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,560 But please don't ask me about Angela. I can't tell you anything. 45 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:47,680 OK. 46 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,880 She is a dental assistant from Coventry, a big city in the UK. 47 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,280 She has a boyfriend, but she's thinking of leaving him. 48 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,720 {\an8}No, no, no, no, no, she's on holiday. It wouldn't last. 49 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,640 Although I suppose we could Zoom... 50 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,000 You like her, Jesús? 51 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:11,760 She's OK. I met her in a bar last night and we had, um, you know... 52 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,400 You know? 53 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,080 Uh, sex! 54 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,120 Oh, sex. 55 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,760 Yes, full sex. 56 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,480 So now you're going to see her again and you think 57 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,640 you might impress her if she sees you reading a book by... 58 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,400 Jeffrey Archer! 59 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,640 He is the lord! - A lord, I think. 60 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,640 A lord, a lord. 61 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,560 Well, good luck with that. 62 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,120 Den? 63 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,120 Den! 64 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,320 Dennis... 65 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,800 Dennis! 66 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,440 I need a plug for the karaoke machine. 67 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,280 Did you take the batteries out of the remote? 68 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,160 Needs must, my friend. 69 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,640 I've decided the time is nigh for me to write my autobiography. 70 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,280 Chapter one. 71 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:39,560 I was born in a gypsy camp just outside of Northampton, sometime in the late '50s. 72 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,480 Eddie, where shall I put this cake? 73 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,240 Uh, well just stick it on the bar for now. 74 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,000 So whose party is this? 75 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,840 I've told you. - Yeah, tell me again. 76 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:54,760 Just a few associates of mine. Friends, good people. 77 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,600 Oh well, that's obviously bollocks cos none of your associates 78 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,040 are good people and you don't have any friends. 79 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,320 You know, cynicism will send you to an early grave. 80 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,920 Eddie knows these people, Dennis. They're big drinkers. 81 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,280 Well, you better hope so, or I'll kick them out and open up. 82 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,080 So what is it, a birthday? 83 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,800 No, my beautiful darling, it's just a little leaving party for an old friend. 84 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,080 Of course I'd never mined uranium before. 85 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,640 I was 15 years old. 86 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:31,760 Well, I was tall for my age, and they never sweat the small stuff in Kazakhstan. 87 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,400 Why are you doing this just now? 88 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,000 I've received fair warning from the Reaper, my friend. 89 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,960 I've got to think about my legacy. 90 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,880 What, are you ill? - Me? 91 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,080 I'm in peak physical condition! 92 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:46,680 But today I've... 93 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,600 I witnessed something deeply disturbing. 94 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,400 A black dog walked backwards, across my path. 95 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,320 Death is near. 96 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,480 Is that what that means? - Black dog. 97 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,800 Black Shuck, the beast's beast. 98 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,280 Backwards dog. And what's dog backwards? 99 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,160 God! 100 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:17,120 God was retreating, making space for death to choose a soul, my friend. 101 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,080 You sure it didn't just have worms or something? 102 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,560 Would that it were so. 103 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,200 So you think that death is coming for you? 104 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,200 I didn't say that. Could be any one of us. 105 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,840 But he will come... by midnight. 106 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,000 Hmm, well, as long as he buys a drink. 107 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,880 OK my darlings, I'm gonna love you and leave you. 108 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,240 You're going out? - Just meeting up with the girls. 109 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,400 The girls, you've been in Benidorm a week! 110 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,960 You know I always make friends wherever I go. 111 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,040 No, no, no. 112 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,520 You want half the pub, you can do half the work. 113 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,080 Dennis-- - We've got a do on! I'll get you an apron. 114 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,920 Stop, please. Stop it. 115 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,640 I'm sorry, darling. 116 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:08,960 I am. 117 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,240 Right. They are here. 118 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,280 Now, who here would like to see a little magic trick? 119 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,480 Here we go! 120 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,320 I have here an honest to goodness 1 euro coin. 121 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,680 You've never had an honest euro in your life. 122 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:05,000 I'm placing this 1 euro coin on the table, and I'm covering it with this hat. 123 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,000 He is magic. He's made his hair disappear. 124 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,080 Well, what's he doing? 125 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,160 One of his scams, Ray. 126 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,360 Now, I bet any one of you good gentlemen, 127 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,360 I can turn that coin from heads to tails without touching that hat. 128 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,640 Bollocks. 129 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,840 Stump up or shut up. 130 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,960 50 notes! 131 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,640 I wouldn't trust you as far as Ray could throw you. 132 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:37,560 What's that? 133 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,400 I'm saying you're a decrepit old bastard, Ray. 134 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,560 Ah, yeah. 135 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,360 Same again, my lovely. 136 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,520 Oh, it's alright, sweetheart. Save on the washing up. 137 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,080 Now I know why you were so keen to get your hands on this place. 138 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,360 It's your gateway to the Costa Del Crime. 139 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,200 There's that cynicism again. - Don't take me for a dickhead! 140 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,960 I've seen you putting this whole thing together 141 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,400 on that cheap burner phone of yours to cover your tracks. 142 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,280 Those men are crooks. 143 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,160 Dennis. They're just businessmen. 144 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,440 Ray was in security, Gav made his money in car boot sales, 145 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,920 and Ricky owns a chain of beauty parlours. 146 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,200 Whoopty-shit. Harold Shipman was a doctor. 147 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,120 You filled my pub full of gangsters. Except you haven't. 148 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,600 There's only three of them. Is there anyone else still to come? 149 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,080 Well, there you go! Stan's here. 150 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,440 Hmm. I suppose Stan's just an innocent, hard-working bloke as well. 151 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,120 What is he, a cheery local ice cream man? A clown? 152 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,120 Do you know I wouldn't be calling Stan Grainger a clown if I were you. 153 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,160 Wait, wait, wait. Stan Grainger who did 10 years for armed robbery?! 154 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,200 You know him? 155 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,280 Know him? I put him away. 156 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,840 What are you talking about? 157 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,360 I was the key witness at his trial. 158 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,520 It was my evidence that sent him down. 159 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,000 Well, what do you know? Small world. 160 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,680 What does he know about me? 161 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,160 Nothing. I told him this was my place. 162 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,640 Eddie, if he recognises me, I'm a dead man walking. 163 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,840 He won't recognise you. It's been 30 years! 164 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,920 You had that crap 'tache in the '80s. 165 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,600 Stan, good to see you mate, come on in. 166 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,080 Sorry I'm late. I was out on the course. 167 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,640 No worries, no worries at all, Stan. 168 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,640 Who's this? 169 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:54,920 This is just uh... the barman, Den-- Denzel. My name's Denzel. 170 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,640 Like... Denzel Washington. 171 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,760 Well... 172 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,000 Nice to meet you, Denzel. 173 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,840 Yeah, nice place, Eddie. 174 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,480 Thank you Stan, yeah, I mean it's not much, but it is mine. 175 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,000 You need to go. - What? 176 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,080 Go on, go home. I don't need you. 177 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,920 It's my shift. - I'll pay for your shift. 178 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,440 I can handle this. 179 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,560 No. - Don't be stupid! 180 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,760 Don't call me stupid. I don't want to go. 181 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,200 OK, you're sacked. Get out. - What?! 182 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,920 I'm the manager. 183 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,320 Eddie and Tiff are here, one of them can be the licensee. 184 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,400 Look, here's a month's wages. 185 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,440 What's-- what's happening? - You're being sacked. 186 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,680 Now get out! You're trespassing. 187 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,960 Dennis! - I don't need you anymore. 188 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,280 What can I get you? 189 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:14,920 I'll have a lager. 190 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,440 Never stop worrying, do you, eh? Kids. 191 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,840 Oh, she's not my daughter. 192 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,560 I know. 193 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,760 We're gonna need a knife. 194 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,160 A knife? 195 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:33,960 For the cake. 196 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,760 Uh, right, yeah. No problem, knife. 197 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,280 Oh come on, Denzel, you can do better than that! 198 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:46,400 There you go. 199 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,920 Put it down next to the cake for me, would you? 200 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,680 Stick it over there. 201 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,040 Lovely! 202 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,160 All ready for our big surprise, eh? 203 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,880 Weapons grade. 204 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,320 The Russians use them. 205 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,640 You can blind a man from half a mile with one of these. 206 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,920 I'm a hairdresser, Gav. Why would I want to blind anyone? 207 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,080 So they can't see what you've done with their hair. 208 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,320 Denny boy, come and join us. 209 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,080 I think I might be in a bit of trouble here. 210 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,920 It walks amongst us. 211 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,680 Where's this guest of honour? - Only way to see off Beelzebub... 212 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,120 Get it pissed! 213 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:43,080 Gentlemen, custom has it, the father of the house provides the drinks. 214 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,840 What's this? - Aguardiente. 215 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,120 Made in the finest local bathtubs. 216 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,160 Right. 217 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,360 Well, I'll drink to that. 218 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,880 I have but one stipulation. 219 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,280 You match me. Drink for drink. 220 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,680 Are you with me? - Do our best, eh? 221 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,360 Skol! 222 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,840 Oi, oi! 223 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,560 Oh, look at you beautiful people. 224 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,520 I won't interrupt. 225 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,880 Is this a date? 226 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,120 Maybe. - No! 227 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,440 Mind if I join you? 228 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,200 Yes. - Yes! 229 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,400 Right, I'm not having this. 230 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:05,680 There's not a chance in hell, you're turning that coin over without moving that hat. 231 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,000 Ooh. 232 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,080 We have a bite. 233 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,640 I accept your bet. Could we clear the table, please? 234 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,080 Oh, what, what's going on? 235 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,160 Eddie's taking Gav's bet. 236 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,680 Twat! 237 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,840 All right then... 238 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,960 Behold! 239 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,520 Well, that's it, is it? 240 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,400 Check yourself. 241 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,080 Heads. 242 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,280 Tails, and I never touched the hat! 243 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,240 Oh yeah, yeah. All right, I thought we was gonna do some karaoke. 244 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,000 Good idea, you start. 245 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,320 Well, Stan I was gonna do a ballad, I mean... 246 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,240 Ricky should start, he's gonna do Dancing Queen. 247 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,120 No, you start. 248 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,880 Alright, Stan. Yeah, I'll start. 249 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,800 Bit unfair, isn't it? 250 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,440 Sending him up first on his tod! 251 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,960 He should duet with someone. 252 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,760 Yeah, that's a good point, Gav. 253 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,720 Oi, Denzel. 254 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,760 You can sing with Eddie. 255 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,720 Jeez, no! I'd murder it! 256 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,760 That's the idea, isn't it? 257 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,520 I'm going for a slash. 258 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,160 You got into bed with snakes, you know that? 259 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,840 Well, no, Den, no, I got into bed with your wife. 260 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,160 ♪ I feel it in my fingers ♪ 261 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,360 ♪ I feel it in my toes ♪ 262 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,520 ♪ Love is all around me ♪ 263 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,160 ♪ And so the feeling grows ♪ 264 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,440 ♪ It's written on the wind ♪ 265 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,400 ♪ It's everywhere I go ♪ 266 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,480 ♪ Oh yes it is... ♪ 267 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,920 ♪ So if you really love me... ♪ 268 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,960 Big one, little one! I'll have the big one. 269 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,400 Mm. 270 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,440 They called it the marriage wrecker. 271 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,080 CID. 272 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,000 I mean, the hours that he worked, it's no surprise. 273 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,880 I did love him though. 274 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,400 And I still do love him. 275 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,440 And Carla does, I know she does. 276 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,040 Carla? 277 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,760 Our daughter. 278 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,920 Did he not tell you about her?! 279 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,560 You know, you're kind of intruding. 280 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:17,280 You know, I never would have put someone like you, with someone like... him! 281 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,640 I'm not with him. - Not yet! 282 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,680 Ooh! - OK, I'm going. 283 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,200 Oh no, where are you going? Don't go back to the pub, darling. 284 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,800 Why? 285 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,560 Well, them blokes, they're... they're a bit, you know. 286 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:30,880 Dodgy! 287 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,240 The party? - Yeah, you know! 288 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:40,040 Eddie doesn't always move in the best of circles. 289 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,200 I mean, Stan, he's a piece of work, he's done time. 290 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,120 As soon as he found out Eddie's got this pub, he is all over him. 291 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,320 Books this leaving do... nah! 292 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,040 Something is going on, I reckon. 293 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,200 Oh...ho! 294 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,120 I can't see straight. I think I need some patatas bravas. 295 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,240 Do you want some patatas bravas? 296 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,680 So I'm gonna get some patatas bravas. 297 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,120 That's why he wanted me out. 298 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,800 So we go to another bar, then maybe dinner and talk about what to do. 299 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,880 Call Maria. I think Dennis is in danger. 300 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,280 The worst thing we could do is overreact. 301 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,600 I think everything is probably fine! 302 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,600 ♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot! ♪ 303 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,480 ♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot! ♪ 304 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,560 Dennis! Open up! 305 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,520 Dennis, are you OK?! 306 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,160 See, he's totally fine. 307 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,040 Oh my God! There's a body! 308 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,280 Dennis, what happened? 309 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,160 I was stupid. 310 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,320 You did this?! - No, he didn't. 311 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,160 You didn't, did you? 312 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,400 No. 313 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,480 You know we need to call this in. 314 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,120 He's right. 315 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,480 This is a crime scene. 316 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,040 Can I just tell my side first? 317 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,600 OK. 318 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,080 What happened? 319 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,840 They made me sing. 320 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,360 ♪ If you really love me... ♪ 321 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,360 ♪ Come on and let it show! ♪ 322 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,120 - For feck's sake. - Anyone got 50p for the metre? 323 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,160 Everyone stay where they are. 324 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,840 It's probably just a fuse, I'll check. 325 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,320 I said stay where you are! 326 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:29,920 What was that? 327 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,480 I swear, don't try anything with me. 328 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:41,480 Eddie...! 329 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,280 The snake is drained. 330 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,640 You were next to him, but you didn't see who killed him? 331 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,440 It was pitch black. 332 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,680 What's going on? 333 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,480 Eddie...! - Don't touch him. 334 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,600 OK lady, nothing to see here. 335 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,200 That doesn't really work in this context, Jesús. 336 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,880 What did you do? - He didn't do anything! 337 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,920 You've done it, you shit! You've done it! 338 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,280 I never thought-- He said he'd kill him. 339 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,040 The day that he was sacked, he pinned Eddie against the wall 340 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,840 and he said he'd kill him. 341 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,080 We have to let Dennis tell his side! 342 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,840 What happened after the lights came on? 343 00:27:58,360 --> 00:27:59,640 Who was this? 344 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,240 Me? - Why? 345 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,560 I just like the song. 346 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,280 No, I meant who killed Eddie? - Oh, right. 347 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,920 You wanna put some kitchen roll down. 348 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,360 Blood's a bugger to get out. 349 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,720 Look, I don't know who you are. 350 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,880 Or why any of you would want to kill Eddie. 351 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,760 It's none of my business. But I am not cleaning up your mess. 352 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,800 Who says it's our mess? You were standing next to him. 353 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,240 You were next to the knife. - Alright, alright, that's enough of that. 354 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,160 Obviously there's been some sort of beef. 355 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,520 Singing blew a fuse, someone's taken their chance 356 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,040 to do him in with a lights out. Well, let me tell you something now. 357 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,800 That is not OK! 358 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,080 We've got a problem to deal with, we're gonna sort it out between us. 359 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,840 Why don't I just leave you the keys, help yourself to toasties-- 360 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,440 Oh no you don't. You're gonna help us. 361 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:04,880 I can't help you! - Course you can. 362 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,920 Little picture of you behind the bar, you used to be a copper, didn't you? 363 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,920 Someone's committed a crime, Denzel! 364 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,600 You can help us solve it. 365 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,040 Nah... honestly, I was just a traffic cop. 366 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,080 I can't help you unless any of you deserve a speeding ticket! 367 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,920 But seriously, 368 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,880 you take care of him... I'll cover your slate. You're square with the house. 369 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:33,840 As far as I'm concerned, you were never here. - That's not justice is it? 370 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,560 See I believe if you do wrong by your fellow man, then you need to pay for it. 371 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,640 Only then can you be square with the house. 372 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,160 All right. If I work this out, my word is final. 373 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,560 Your word is final. 374 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,960 You can be judge and jury, and I'll be executioner. 375 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,480 Easy-- - That's enough, shut up! 376 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,520 I'm sick of people taking liberties. 377 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,240 I don't know what happened here, but really... 378 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,280 does it matter? Cause you're all thick as thieves and I'm the only witness. 379 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,800 I'm sure if I find out who did this, I'm not getting out of here alive anyway. 380 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,480 Oh, no, no, no, no, my friend, you misunderstood. 381 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,040 See, the only way you're getting out of here alive, 382 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,160 is if you find out who did this. 383 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,440 What'd he say? 384 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,360 Denzil's gonna find out who stabbed Eddie and Stan's gonna kill him. 385 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,200 Oh, right. 386 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,000 Probably should get another round in anyway, eh? 387 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,200 I said they were dodgy. 388 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,520 So did you solve it? You worked out who killed Eddie? 389 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,520 Of course he did! You did, right? 390 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,120 Right. 391 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,000 These two are me and Eddie... 392 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,560 This is Ray, Ricky, Stan, and... 393 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,360 Him. - Gav. 394 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,480 I'm Gav O'Grady, the Car-boot King. 395 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,720 Uh, which one's me? 396 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,640 The tomato juice. - But tomatoes give me gas! 397 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,880 Everything gives you gas, Ray, you pretty much breathe out your arse. 398 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,760 Better than talking out of it. 399 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,560 Look, you don't have to drink it, it's just a demonstration. 400 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,880 Hold up, hold up. Who's the ginger beer? - You are. 401 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,720 What are you trying to say, eh, hey? 402 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,000 I'm not ginger beer! Make Ricky the ginger beer. 403 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,120 Why am I the ginger beer? - If the shoe fits. 404 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:59,920 Right, right, me and Eddie are the apple juice, Ray is the lemonade, Ricky's the ginger beer, Stan's the tonic and... whatshisname is the tomato juice. 405 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,520 You're doing this on purpose! - This is where you all were 406 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:07,000 before the lights went out, I just need to... remember the order of what happened. 407 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,960 I need a pint. 408 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,200 Right. 409 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,200 Before the lights went out, Ray said... I'm going for a slash. 410 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:31,600 Gav was shining the laser pen on Eddie... 411 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,800 Feck's sake! 412 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,000 Then the lights went out and Eddie said... 413 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,480 Anyone got 50p for the metre? 414 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,320 And then what? 415 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,760 That's right. 416 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,680 Ricky said... Everyone stay where they are. 417 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,960 But the sound, the sound was coming from further away. 418 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,400 And I said, That was probably just a fuse, I'll check. 419 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,560 I said, stay where you are! 420 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,240 All the while, the laser pen is still on Eddie, he's still alive. 421 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,120 What was that? 422 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,680 Then... there was this sound. 423 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,120 I swear, don't try anything with me! 424 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:22,880 And you're all back in your seats. 425 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,840 Well, hurry up, Kojak. 426 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,080 Actually, if we're talking TV detectives, 427 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,240 this is much more of a Colombo kind of a case. 428 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,000 And you're the expert, are you? 429 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:37,800 No. 430 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,840 But I know one. 431 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,320 Can we get a move on? 432 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,800 Here we go! 433 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,520 Well, come on, enlighten us. Who killed Eddie? 434 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,400 You all did. 435 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,880 Oh, is that so?! 436 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,280 Yes, that is so. You see, it can't just have been a fuse that went, 437 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,560 that would have only shorted some of the power. To cut everything off, 438 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,120 someone had to hit the main breaker in the fuse box in the back room. 439 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,080 That could only have been Ray. Ray never went to the toilet, 440 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,120 he used his walking stick to trip the breaker above the back door. 441 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,440 But then he dropped his stick. 442 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,600 Oh, feck's sake! 443 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:34,560 Ricky is further away when he said... Everyone stay where they are. 444 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:35,920 Because he's getting the knife. 445 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,920 Picking it up using the pocket square that was in his jacket 446 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,160 before the lights went off, but was missing after they came back on again. 447 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:46,320 But he doesn't use the knife, he gives it to Stan. 448 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,840 But before Stan takes it, he puts his golf glove on. 449 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,080 Then he comes up to the front... 450 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,840 and sticks the knife in Eddie. 451 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,080 And he knows exactly where Eddie is in the dark 452 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,120 because Gav's kept the laser pen on throughout the whole thing. 453 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,080 And you know all that, do you? 454 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,600 It's the only theory that makes sense. 455 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,600 See, I know where Gav was because the laser pen didn't move. 456 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,560 Ray was out by the toilet, so there's no way he's getting over there in that time. 457 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:19,200 What'd he say? 458 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,440 He's saying you're a decrepit old bastard, Ray. 459 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,480 Could have been Ricky. - Could have. Except he's wearing 460 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,360 some pretty pungent aftershave tonight. He comes within a five metre radius, 461 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,200 you're getting a nose-full of Paco Rabanne. 462 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,600 It's Acqua di Parma. 463 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,200 So yeah, I do know that. 464 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,240 You asked me to work out who killed Eddie. Well, there you go. 465 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,760 You did. 466 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,480 But everyone else was involved. 467 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,360 Bravo! The man with all the answers! 468 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:57,400 Not all the answers. Still doesn't make sense to me. 469 00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,280 Eddie got on everyone's tits. 470 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,400 Yeah, not why you'd kill him, but why you'd go through 471 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,600 this whole pantomime to do it. - This ain't no pantomime, son. 472 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,200 Oh yes it is! 473 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:10,960 Sorry. 474 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,120 This is a goodbye party. 475 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,600 You really thought I didn't know who you was, Dennis? 476 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,600 So you do remember me. - Yeah, funny that. 477 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,640 Funny how you tend to remember someone who sent you to jail 478 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,760 for the best years of your life, innit? 479 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,040 So why is Eddie dead and not me? 480 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,440 Why did I just spend the last hour solving his murder? 481 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,640 After I got out of Wandsworth, I went looking for you, but you'd disappeared. 482 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,600 And Eddie tells me about this place, tells me all about you. 483 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,320 It was like a gift. 484 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,880 Our party just felt right. 485 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,920 You must be wondering when our guest of honour's arriving. 486 00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,880 He's been here all along. 487 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,240 It's you, Dennis! 488 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,200 This is your leaving party. 489 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:06,920 And where am I going? 490 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,960 To jail! 491 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,800 Dennis... 492 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,440 you know I have to call this in. 493 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,680 He's not finished! - Rosa, let them do their job. 494 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,280 You're not going to jail for this! I was there. I saw them. 495 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:34,800 I'm sorry, kid. 496 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,560 They did a proper job on me. 497 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,520 Maybe I did need you after all. 498 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,880 There's still time. Tell me what happened. 499 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:46,720 What am I going to jail for? 500 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,440 Oh, for killing Eddie. 501 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,160 Oh, call me an old romantic, but it just felt like poetic justice 502 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:55,120 that the last case you ever worked was the one that sent you down. 503 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:57,880 Just like you sent me down. 504 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,120 No, no, no, you killed Eddie, all of you killed Eddie! 505 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,960 Well, how could we? We were never here. 506 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,800 What's... what's this, what's happening? 507 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,000 You worked as many jobs as we have... 508 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,720 you get pretty good at not leaving any evidence behind. 509 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,080 Stan, good to see you mate, come on in. 510 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:28,960 You see, no DNA... 511 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,480 no fingerprints. 512 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,960 Same again, my lovely. 513 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:43,000 Oh, it's alright, sweetheart. Save on the washing up. 514 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,680 Everything we touched here comes with us. 515 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,520 And when the old Bill comes here, they'll find a knife 516 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,960 sticking out the bloke who stole your wife and pub, 517 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,560 and only your prints will be on it. 518 00:38:58,560 --> 00:38:59,960 There you go. 519 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,520 Put it down next to the cake for me, would you? 520 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,400 It's not just prints that'll put you here. 521 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,720 Eddie only ever called us on his burner. 522 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,960 Witnesses, Rosa saw you here! 523 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,480 You've got one witness to put me here, 524 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,360 I've got 50 back in Marbella that'll swear blind I was with them. 525 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,280 And as for your man over there, well! 526 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,760 He'll be lucky if he can remember his own name tomorrow. 527 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,840 Oh we... We slipped him a little something to help him on his way. 528 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,120 Are you with me? - Do our best, eh? 529 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,480 Skol! 530 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,040 As I said... 531 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:49,760 we were never here. 532 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,360 That's it. We're done. 533 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,760 Look at you, trying to work a way out of it. 534 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,760 Ah, I suppose you could get rid of the body, 535 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,000 but you know that'll only make things worse for you. 536 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,160 Why didn't you just shoot me? 537 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,640 A few weeks behind bars, and you'll wish I had. 538 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,560 But... 539 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,000 I want you to suffer, 540 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,600 how I suffered. 541 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,040 Any case, 542 00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,160 it's not a real gun. 543 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:40,400 And now... 544 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,760 I'm square with the house, Denzel. 545 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,360 I walked right into it. 546 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,200 Stan had thought of everything. 547 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:26,560 Do what you gotta do. 548 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,080 I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder. - No, stop! 549 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,280 You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say 550 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,080 may be taken down and used against you. 551 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,240 Is everybody losing their minds?! 552 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,240 Looks like I might be busy for a bit. 553 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,280 I don't suppose you want your job back? 554 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,800 You'll be back tomorrow. They cannot keep you there! 555 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:00,360 Just don't let her ruin the place. 556 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,040 Take him outside. 557 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,040 If it makes a difference, I don't think you killed him. 558 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,280 Thanks, Jesús. 559 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,560 It doesn't. 560 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,760 Just so you know, I do not work for you. 561 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,360 I work for Dennis, and if you try to tell me what to do, you will regret it. 562 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,160 I never wanted this place, my darling. 563 00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:30,160 I never wanted any of this. 564 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,400 Why aren't you stopping this? You cannot think he did this! 565 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,000 I know he hasn't been in a good place recently, 566 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,960 and he said something about killing Eddie. 567 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,640 I can't just forget I know that. 568 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:46,000 I'm sorry, Rosa. 569 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,200 I don't want to think that Dennis did this, 570 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,600 but we have to be open to the fact he might. 571 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,400 Uh, uh... 572 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,640 What did I miss?