1 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,160 So this fella walks into a pub wearing nothing but a hospital gown. 2 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,760 He walks up to the barman and he says, 'Give me four pints, 3 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,280 five tequila shots, and a bottle of wine.' 4 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,280 The barman serves him. The fella lines all the drinks up 5 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,240 and he downs them in quick succession. 6 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,040 Afterwards he says to the barman, 'I shouldn't have done that, 7 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,880 not with what I've got.' 8 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,640 And the barman goes, 'Oh no, what have you got?' 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,240 And the fella goes, 'About 3 pounds 50.' 10 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,800 That's all he had! 11 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,040 I'm here all week, folks, I'm Frank Mann. 12 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:53,920 Eh?! 13 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,120 Paco? 14 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,720 There's a monkey and a hippo and an elephant on a desert island, right? 15 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,680 Hey, hey! 16 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,360 Vince, you old tart! 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,000 Aw! 18 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,160 Careful! 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,440 So, how was your flight? 20 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,160 You see I paid for extra legroom? 21 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,440 Yeah, only cause my agent made you, eh? 22 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,840 You haven't met my wife, have you? - Not this one. 23 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:21,640 Babe, can't we just, um, go back to the hotel? 24 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,640 No, no, no, I want to see Frank. 25 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:29,160 Eh? Talking of pubs, oh, I went into one the other day, horrible it was. 26 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,840 It was called The Fiddle, ladies and gentlemen. 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,800 Awful pub. 28 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,440 In fact, it was a vile inn. 29 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,000 Violin, see? 30 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,160 So, how are the tickets selling? 31 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,360 Oh, like hotcakes, Vince. 32 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,880 I mean, we might have to do a little bit of extra press, you know, 33 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,920 just to get us over the line. It's all good. 34 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,240 Whoa, look at this, ladies and gentlemen. 35 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,640 We have a celebrity in the Laughter Lounge tonight. 36 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,680 Presenter of Quiz Bang, Vince Starky. 37 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:13,840 Yes, Vince is playing five nights at the Benidorm Palace, and I've seen him live, and I can tell you... I've had more fun passing kidney stones. 38 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,560 I've had more fun standing on plugs. 39 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,280 We have a fantastic act for you next, ladies and gentlemen. 40 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:26,520 Please put your hands together for Andy Morgan and his amazing organ. 41 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,400 Thank you, son. So what have we got? 42 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,680 Hen do's at the back. 43 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,320 Nan's been on the gins. 44 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,880 Perfecto, I'll get a good 10 minutes out of them later. 45 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,080 Frank Mann. 46 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,840 Can I have a quick word? - Of course you can. 47 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,720 Velocity. 48 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:49,880 Hello, mate. 49 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,320 Hello, Vince. - Good to see you. 50 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,600 Oh, this is my wife, Vienna. 51 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,400 She is smiling, she's just uh... topped up the Botox. 52 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,960 Maybe wave your hands so we know that you're laughing, eh love? 53 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,200 Say something funny, I might. 54 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,440 Chris? 55 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,520 Bloody hell. How you doing, kiddo? 56 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,360 I'm all right. What are you doing here? 57 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,920 Five sellout nights at the Benidorm Palace apparently. 58 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,560 I meant in here. - I wanted to see you. 59 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,560 And your dad. 60 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,400 Would you mind? - Oh yeah, of course, love. 61 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,760 No, not you. - Eh? 62 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,160 I'm a huge fan. 63 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,720 Oh, of course, sweetheart, all right, here we go. 64 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,680 Thank you. - All right. You're welcome. 65 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,400 Can we talk? - I'm back on in 5. 66 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,280 Please. It's important. 67 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,840 All right. Son... keep Vienna company. 68 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,400 Maybe you could try out the new routine you've been working on. 69 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,600 Shall we? 70 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,640 So are you a comedian as well then, or? 71 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,480 Yeah, I do more kind of observational stuff. 72 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,200 Was at the self-service checkouts the other day. 73 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,800 What's that about? - Please don't! 74 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,000 OK. 75 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,200 Do you know what they're talking about? - Probably bollocks. 76 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,800 Joder! 77 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,000 {\an8}I got drunk with him once. 78 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,600 In 1997, Children in Need's afterparty. 79 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,880 Ended up in Stringfellows! 80 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,360 With Pudsy. 81 00:05:53,640 --> 00:06:00,800 Mr Starky had only been in Spain a few hours, having arrived to play a run of stand-up shows at the Benidorm Palace. 82 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,720 Mr Starky was a much-loved celebrity in the UK, 83 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,000 and we want to assure the public we'll have our best people working on this. 84 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,280 Can you tell us more-- - Good luck with that! 85 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,880 Well, this is an unexpected surprise. 86 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,400 All surprises are unexpected, Dennis. 87 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,920 So are you here for my brains or my body, cause I'm open to a 2 for 1 kind of offer. 88 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,360 I think I was pretty clear that will never happen again. 89 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,880 Are we talking about the sex or the case that I solved for you? 90 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,640 You got lucky. You threw a dart like a drunk man 91 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,200 wearing a blindfold, and somehow you hit the bull's eye. 92 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,040 And are we talking about the sex or the case that I solved for you? 93 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,640 The case. The sex was adequate. 94 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,720 Adequate several times from memory. 95 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,080 However, lucky as you were, it is true that you displayed 96 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,080 an ability to see things that perhaps others might miss. 97 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,680 Well done. 98 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,400 I can appreciate how hard that must have been for you. 99 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,480 There's a lot of pressure on this case and I have no detectives. 100 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,040 And look, I just want you to come and look at the crime scene. 101 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,960 Weird. 102 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,200 I'm sure you said if I ever poked my nose into police business again, 103 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,760 you'd shut my miserable little pub down. 104 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,560 You know, you really need to sort out those toilets. 105 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,280 What's going on? 106 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,320 I'm afraid if you want Danger Mouse, you're gonna have to take Penfold as well. 107 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,480 We've got a new case?! 108 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,600 Jésus, la puerta. 109 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,120 What, I'm a human doorstop now? - Yes! 110 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,680 So this guy is a comedian? - He was a comedian. 111 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,880 Do you have to be so pedantic? - No, I mean... 112 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,440 He was a comedian and then he just presented game shows. 113 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,160 What shows? 114 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,120 Quiz Bang, Luck Be a Lady... It was the '90s. 115 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,000 Guys, I can't hear you! - Puerta! 116 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,000 There's blood in his hair. 117 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,680 Madre mía, que fuerte! 118 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,600 Big cuts on his head. 119 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,840 He must have been hit with something very big and heavy. 120 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,040 Dennis? 121 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,880 Come and look! Dennis? 122 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,240 I agree, he was hit with something big and heavy. 123 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,840 What are you looking at? - Something big and heavy. 124 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,440 What is it? What's going on? 125 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,040 I just found the murder weapon. 126 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,920 The paint's faded because it was kept outside. 127 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,080 Why keep a fire extinguisher on the roof? 128 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,160 Good question. To use as a doorstop. 129 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,520 Like we did with Jésus? - Exactly. 130 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,120 Only I imagine this is better in an emergency. 131 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,720 Guys, can someone open the door? 132 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,280 It doesn't mean it's the murder weapon. 133 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,000 If it's not the murder weapon, why chuck it off the roof? 134 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,200 But if it is the murder weapon, how did they stop the door from closing? 135 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,320 That I don't know. 136 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,240 The killer would have locked themselves in the crime scene. 137 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,120 This is basically every episode of Jonathan Creek. 138 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,200 It's actually quite hot up here! 139 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,480 I suppose we should help him? 140 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,440 Yeah, we should... 141 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,720 Who owns this place? 142 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,360 Vince rocked up about 8. 143 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,000 We had a drink, had a bit of a chat about business. 144 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,520 You were promoting his gigs at the Benidorm Palace. 145 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,240 I put the whole thing together myself, sweetheart. 146 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,680 So you were making good money? - Well, I would have. 147 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,840 I mean, it was an absolute sellout. 148 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,960 Did you ever go up on the roof? - God, no! 149 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,560 I don't do heights. 150 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,840 And when Vince came to the club, was he alone? 151 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,280 Vince?! Alone? No, never! 152 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:35,440 He had his latest wife in tow, what do you call her, um, uh, Venezuela. 153 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,240 Actually, it's Vienna. 154 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,520 We'd only been married a few weeks. 155 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,800 This was meant to be the start of his comeback. 156 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,880 So you checked in here at the hotel and went straight to the Laughter Lounge? 157 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,960 Vince wanted to talk to Frank. 158 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,440 About what? 159 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,800 He wanted to tell me he had cancer. Somewhere private. 160 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,480 On the roof? 161 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,760 No, in his prostate. 162 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,440 No, I mean, where did he tell you? 163 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,560 Hmm, out the front of the club. 164 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,520 What happened after that? 165 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,840 Well, he went back to his hotel. I went back inside. 166 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,720 What time did you leave? 167 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:15,280 The show finished at 11, we had a drink, and then me and Chris went home. 168 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,880 Chris? 169 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,960 Frank's my dad. 170 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,280 What do you know about last night? 171 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,800 Nothing. 172 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:31,320 The bloke, the one who died, came in and then he left. 173 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,480 That's all I know. I didn't really talk to him. 174 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,440 Thirsty? 175 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,800 I'm bricking it! 176 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,280 Ziggy's just told me I've got my first stand-up gig tomorrow. 177 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,600 Following after your old man? 178 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,000 You any good? 179 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,800 He's about as funny as a turd in a sandpit, 180 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,560 but I promised Frank I'd put him on the bill. 181 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,760 So, now you have to cancel all of the Benidorm Palace shows, right? 182 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,920 Well, I've got no choice, have I? 183 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:05,080 Jim Davidson offered to step in, but I'm not that desperate. 184 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,560 What time did you leave the club? 185 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,000 God knows. I'm normally half-cut way before closing. 186 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,360 Every bloody time! 187 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,800 And what time did you leave the Laughter Lounge? 188 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,880 About half-past eight. After Vince went outside to talk to Frank. 189 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,160 And you came back here to the hotel with Vince? 190 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:38,160 Yes, I, um, I went to bed, but he went to the bar. 191 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,880 When's the last time you saw him? - Just after 9. 192 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,280 Eh... Sorry to interrupt. 193 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,800 These are from Bobby Davro? 194 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:49,720 Who? 195 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,320 Wait, just put them with the others. 196 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,160 Sure. 197 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,160 Why do you think Vince was so keen to tell you about his illness? 198 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,320 I think that's what happens when you get ill. 199 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,080 You don't want to put anything off. - Here you go, Frank. 200 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,120 Oh, I'll put it with the rest. Ah, thank you! 201 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,000 Other than Ziggy, does anybody else have a key to the club? 202 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,040 Yeah, Paco. 203 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,920 Yeah, the doorman. 204 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,000 He locks up every night. 205 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,280 He found Vince on the roof. 206 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,600 Shaken him up a bit. 207 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,160 I had never seen a dead body. 208 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,320 I touched his hand. 209 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,120 His skin was red from the sun. 210 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,000 But cold. 211 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,160 So cold. 212 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:41,880 I said no. 213 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:42,840 No. 214 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:44,960 Don't be dead. 215 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,720 But it was too late. 216 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,600 He was dead. 217 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,360 And what time did he lock up the club? 218 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,880 At 2 a.m. 219 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,440 When was the last time you saw Vince alive? 220 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,800 Around 8:30. 221 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,480 He was outside with Frank. 222 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,600 Now I know we're all haunted by the angel of death. 223 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,920 And what were they talking about? 224 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,320 They were arguing. 225 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,200 Vince was very agitated. 226 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,760 Very animated. 227 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,640 Unlike the lifeless husk I found on the roof. 228 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,560 And there definitely couldn't have been 229 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,520 anyone else on the roof when he found the body? 230 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,760 No. 231 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,800 The door to the roof. How did he keep that open? 232 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,680 The engineer had a toolbox. - Right. 233 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,720 Why are you asking so many questions? 234 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:05,520 Are you crazy? 235 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,400 A man is dead. 236 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,160 Oh my God... 237 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,960 I can still see his face. 238 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,880 Who's Carla? - No one. 239 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,440 I knew it! You have a secret lady friend. 240 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,560 What's this? - This is the window of death. 241 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,640 The last person to see Vince alive was Vienna just after 9 p.m. 242 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,200 And the club was closed at about 2 a.m. 243 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,240 So at some point during this time, 244 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,800 somehow Vince got on the roof and someone killed him. 245 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,560 So who's your money on? - It's too early to make guesses. 246 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,720 Oh, come on, you saw the same as me. 247 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,560 Oh, I see. You want to be all clever and do your little show off. 248 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,560 Go ahead. What did you see that I missed? 249 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,920 Well, Chris, the son, drinking like a fish to steady his nerves... 250 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,080 The bloke, the one who died, came in and then left. 251 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,160 That that's all I know. I, I didn't really talk to him. 252 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,280 Never used the victim's name. Classic sign of a guilty conscience. 253 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,640 Maybe, but he was nervous for his gig. 254 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:36,680 And Ziggy, the old lush, said she rarely went on the roof, but I don't believe her. 255 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,240 Every bloody time. 256 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,760 Lighting up in her office set the smoke alarm off, so I think she did go to the roof. 257 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,880 How do you know that? - Did you not see 258 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,000 the black marks on the wall where she stubbed her fags out? 259 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,440 Why would Ziggy kill Vince? He was about to make her a fortune. 260 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,320 I'm only pointing out the discrepancies in her story. 261 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,800 Obviously Vienna was lying. 262 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,240 Obviously? 263 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,640 And you came back here to the hotel with Vince? 264 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:08,000 Yes, I, um, I went to bed, but he went to the bar. 265 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,120 She said she went to bed, but did you not see the mark on her wrist? 266 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,880 Uh, sorry to interrupt. These are from... Bobby Davro. 267 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,920 Who? Just... put them with the others. 268 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,840 She had a stamp from Cheeky's Foam Disco from the night before. 269 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,640 Why would she lie? 270 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,360 Don't tell me you didn't see that. 271 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Stop asking questions you already know the answer to. 272 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,840 So what next? - Well, I think another pint. 273 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:43,120 I think it's important to tell you that I am currently finding you very irritating. 274 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,400 Tomorrow we'll go and talk to Frank, see what the argument with Vince was about. 275 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,760 Please leave a message after the tone. 276 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,480 Carla, hello. 277 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,760 I'm sorry it's late, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. 278 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,040 So... happy birthday. 279 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,080 It's your dad, by the way. 280 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:28,360 Anyway... If you ever wanted to give me a call, it would be good to hear from you. 281 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,240 I'd like that. 282 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,400 So... Yeah, OK. 283 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,840 Benidorm Volunteer Police Service. 284 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,200 I just got a call from an insurance company 285 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,960 asking for more information about Vince Starky's death. 286 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,880 Wife already cashing in the life insurance, is she? 287 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,000 No, not his wife. Ziggy, the comedy promoter. 288 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,440 She took-- 289 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,440 She took out event insurance on Vince's gigs at the Benidorm Palace. 290 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,120 His death means she's set for a big payout. 291 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:43,600 And? 292 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,360 It's a motive. 293 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,960 Well, the gigs were making her a fortune already. 294 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,520 Killing him doesn't make sense. 295 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,680 Thanks though. 296 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,760 So who remembers Salt 'n Shake? 297 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,280 Remember them? Them crisps you had to add your own salt to? 298 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:19,080 What's that about, eh? Why-- Why do I have to do their job for them? 299 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:24,000 What next? A packet of crisps that just comes with a raw potato inside the bag? 300 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Can we have a word? 301 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,480 Uh, er, it's really nice, pal. 302 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,120 Why don't you take a break, eh? 303 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,520 Good lad. 304 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,600 We know you and Vince argued last night. 305 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,080 What was that about? 306 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,240 Me and Vince have kept a secret for the last 30 years. 307 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,480 That he was really Chris's dad? 308 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,600 How did you know that? 309 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,200 Well, it's just a hunch based on the fact they look exactly the same. 310 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,880 You saw that too, right, didn't you? - Yeah. 311 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,440 What happened? 312 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,720 Me and Vince were a double act back in the day. 313 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,680 We called ourselves Half Rice, Half Chips. 314 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,000 They called us a poor man's Little and Large. 315 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,840 And which one were you? 316 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,600 Oh, funny. What are you two, The Crankies? 317 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,560 Father and son, but actually they were married. 318 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,520 Never mind. Go on. 319 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,120 Anyway, we did one summer, at Butlins Minehead. 320 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,040 Great days! Me and Vince were banging this-- 321 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:32,280 We were, were sleeping with the same Red Coat, Linda. 322 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,960 Yeah, I mean, these things happen. We were young. 323 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,600 But me and Linda ended up falling in love. 324 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,440 Only to find out that she was pregnant with Vince's kid. 325 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,160 How do you know that it wasn't yours? 326 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,080 Well, I'll spare you the details. 327 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,920 But, uh, I had a very serious bout of mumps as a kid. 328 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,640 My testes swelled up to more than four times their usual size. 329 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,480 I mean, from this angle... 330 00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,840 it looked like a one-eared space hopper. 331 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,200 Thank you for sparing me the details. 332 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:06,560 I mean, I have always fired blanks, but Linda, she still wanted to keep the baby. 333 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:12,120 And I realised that, well, it was probably my last chance of being a dad, so... 334 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,200 We all agreed together, as a three, 335 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,680 that me and Linda should raise the kid as our own, 336 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,200 and nobody else needed to know the truth. I mean... 337 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,600 Not even our Chris. 338 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,960 And you never told him? 339 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,480 And then Vince went off to do telly. 340 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,440 I carried on working the clubs. Me and Linda split up, 341 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,160 and then Chris went to live with her. 342 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,320 So why now? Why did Vince want Chris to know the truth after all this time? 343 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,440 I think being ill scared him. 344 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,080 He said he wanted Chris to know, but... 345 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,880 I'd only just got him back in my life, you know? 346 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,040 And telling Chris the truth would have ruined all that? 347 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,000 Yeah, and I told Vince as much. 348 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,400 It got a bit heated, but I was compering the show, you know? 349 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,160 I've got a room full of people that can tell you that. 350 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:02,160 I never saw Vince again after that moment, and that is the God's honest truth. 351 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,320 So Vince was going to set off a big truth bomb. 352 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,800 Maybe he was killed to keep quiet. 353 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,680 What are you doing? 354 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,400 Just taking a wee keek before we leave. 355 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,400 Keek? What is this? You can't just make up words! 356 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,640 You know, maybe for the next few minutes we just don't talk. 357 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,480 You know, Frank says a room full of people can vouch for him, 358 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,840 but he was only the compere of the show, so he was only introducing the acts. 359 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,880 Plenty of time when he was not on stage 360 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,840 where he could have killed Vince. His alibi means nothing. 361 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,560 Help me find the key for this. 362 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,280 What's that buzzing? 363 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,640 I dread to think. 364 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:06,640 No! 365 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,640 Urgh... 366 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,840 Surely you wash it after you use it. 367 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,360 Ah ha! There it is. 368 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,600 So what do you think about Frank? He could have killed Vince, right? 369 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,880 Maybe. And then there's Vienna. 370 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,320 Please, can we leave? 371 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:44,920 Why Vienna? 372 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,080 Because she's the brand new wife and Vince was worth a few bob. 373 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,680 Really, Dennis? 374 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:56,280 What a tired old stereotype, the gold-digging wife. 375 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,000 Maybe she married him for, I don't know, love. 376 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,000 Maybe she's already a millionaire. 377 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,800 Well, if she wasn't before, she certainly is now. 378 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,640 And we need to know what she was doing last night. 379 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,280 We should speak to Jackie. 380 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,480 Who's Jackie? 381 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,440 This is Jackie! 382 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,720 You're in my light! - Jackie, this is Dennis. 383 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,080 Apparently you know the word on the street. - What? 384 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,800 We need some information. - What is he saying? 385 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,880 We were wondering if you knew anything about Vince Starky. 386 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,440 Uh, waste of money. I sold three tickets. 387 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,760 You were selling tickets to his show? 388 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,440 I sell tickets to all the shows. 389 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,040 Who is 'Messy Nessy'? 390 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:56,640 Like Sticky Vicky, but not so classy. 391 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,160 So Vince's show wasn't selling? 392 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,400 Is he all right? 393 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,160 He looks like an old bullock. - He's fine. 394 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,800 He's from Scotland. - Where? 395 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:09,600 Never heard of it. 396 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,880 Jackie, did you say that Vince's show wasn't selling any tickets? 397 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,640 - Ziggy said it was a sellout. - Sellout? 398 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,680 Oh no. 399 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,960 Oh, so you do understand what I'm saying. 400 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,400 What? 401 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,240 Seriously, what is her problem?! 402 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,200 Uh, Maria, hi. This is Dennis. 403 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,280 I'm gonna need something from you. 404 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:50,160 The CCTV footage from Vince's hotel for last night. 405 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,000 Oh, and a photograph of you in the bath 406 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,800 coquettishly holding a loofah. That last one is crucial 407 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,120 if we're gonna have any chance of solving this. 408 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,680 OK, thanks. 409 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,720 So, I spoke to the box office manager. 410 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,800 Vince Starky had sold less than 25 per cent of his tickets for his five night run. 411 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,800 So the man who hosted Celebrity Quiz Bang is no longer a big box office success. 412 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,040 It means Ziggy was about to lose her deposit. 413 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,280 She would have owed the theatre thousands of euros. 414 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,680 And that's on top of the thousands of euros that she already owes. 415 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,000 So now what? 416 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,120 Well, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty hungry. 417 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,600 Oh yes, let's get sushi! - Or a Chinese? 418 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,600 Sushi's like Chinese but healthy. 419 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,760 Chinese is like sushi but nice. 420 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,640 Come on, Dennis, just open your mind a little bit... for me. 421 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,000 Postmortem results. 422 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,760 Victim died of blunt force trauma. 423 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,800 Gone right off that. - We got the CCTV from the hotel. 424 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,520 It shows Vince and Vienna returned to the hotel having a big argument. 425 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,760 About what? - There was no sound, 426 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,440 but we got a lip reader to translate. Here's a transcript. 427 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,840 Vienna... 'I can't believe you're doing this.' 428 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,520 Vince... 'Please, babe, this is important to me.' 429 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,960 Vienna... 'You said when we got married, 430 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,800 it was just gonna be me and you, he'll move in with us, 431 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:30,160 and I'm not sharing you with some expletive deleted, lanky, expletive deleted, streak of expletive deleted, expletive deleted, expletive deleted... 432 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,120 piss.' 433 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,880 Do you know what this is about? 434 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,560 Vince told you the truth about Chris, didn't he, 435 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,480 that he was his real dad and wanted to be part of his life? 436 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,680 Yeah, so? 437 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,800 So... it's motive! 438 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,000 The CCTV showed you get out of the lift, 439 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,200 but Vince goes back down and exits the hotel. 440 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,080 Do you know where he went? 441 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,160 He said he was going to get another drink. 442 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,840 And you? You said you went to bed. 443 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:03,920 Don't bother lying. 444 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,560 I left a perfectly acceptable plate of pork balls for this. 445 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,200 You went out, didn't you? 446 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,560 I wanted some fun. 447 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,600 That is not a crime. 448 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,280 I mean, you know what it's like? 449 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,520 Us young guys, we like to make party, yeah? 450 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,280 Not really. 451 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,480 Did you see Vince again after he left you at the lift? 452 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,400 No. 453 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,200 Because there's a theory kicking about 454 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,480 that you only married Vince for his money, and when you found out there was someone else 455 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,040 you'd have to share it with, you followed him to the club, 456 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,720 got him up onto the roof, and then killed him 457 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,920 before he could tell Chris the truth. Then, 458 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,400 you went out and drank your guilt away at Cheeky's Foam Disco. 459 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,360 Well, let me give you another theory. 460 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,840 That I went out to unwind - as people do at a foam party disco and casino. 461 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,600 And when I woke up the next morning, 462 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,760 I found that the love of my life had been brutally murdered. 463 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,640 And to make matters worse, I am accused of killing him 464 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,320 by some weird, Scottish homeless man. 465 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,160 What'd you think? - Maybe just have a shave. 466 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,520 And she says, why do you think I chose the pink ones? 467 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,280 Who here likes a curry? 468 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,120 I love a curry me. Oh yeah! 469 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,240 My favourite is Chicken Tarka. 470 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,520 It's like a Chicken Tikka, only a little 'otter'... Eh?! 471 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,720 Right then, first act out tonight is a young comedian 472 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,160 just setting out on his comedy career. 473 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:38,040 He's a brilliant talent and I'm proud to say, ladies and gentlemen, my son! 474 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,280 Ahhh! 475 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,760 So with that in mind, please give a big Laughter Lounge welcome to Chris Mann! 476 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,920 Chris Mann... 477 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,720 Kids, eh? 478 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,440 When they're little you just want to eat them, don't you, 479 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,480 but when they grow up, you wish you had. 480 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,760 Chris? 481 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,240 Where the bloody hell are you? 482 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,800 Thought you had a gig. 483 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,800 It was me. 484 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,600 I killed him. 485 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,800 Now, in your own time, just tell us what happened. 486 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,400 Dad was on stage. 487 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,800 I'm behind the bar. 488 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,520 I look up and I see Vince has come back into the club. 489 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,960 And he told me he wanted to talk to me. 490 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,320 Said it was important. 491 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,680 Had to be somewhere quiet, so I-- I told him to meet me up on the roof. 492 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,280 Had you been on the roof before? 493 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,080 Uh, yeah, yeah. We take our breaks up there. 494 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,040 Just as a matter of interest, how did you keep the door open? 495 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,520 We used a fire extinguisher. - Oh... 496 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,920 Please go on. 497 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,200 Vince said he wished it didn't have to be like this. 498 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:14,040 But once he realised he had to tell me the truth, he couldn't settle. Had to be now! 499 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,960 He said the gigs in Benidorm meant nothing to him. 500 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,600 The real reason he was here was for me. 501 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,760 Cause I'm his son. 502 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,760 Then what happened? 503 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,320 I just couldn't get my head around it. 504 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,080 All these people in my life that were meant to love me... 505 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,680 were liars. 506 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,120 My whole life, they'd been liars. 507 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,240 And Vince said something like... 508 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,720 'This is a good thing.' 509 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,520 And I just flipped. 510 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,920 I went mental, proper raging. 511 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,400 Don't touch me. - This is a good thing. 512 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,280 And I pushed, just once. 513 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,520 I swear, it were only once. 514 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:12,960 I panicked. 515 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,520 And then I ran. 516 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,520 And then when I heard the next day he was dead... 517 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,200 I just couldn't say anything. 518 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,880 Hey... don't cry. 519 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:44,560 I meant arrest him! 520 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:52,960 So you just pushed him? You didn't whack him over the head with a fire extinguisher? 521 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,680 No! - Hey, you can't be right every time. 522 00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,720 I know there's something else going on here. 523 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,440 Dennis, he confessed. 524 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,280 Put on the TV and watch your sport. 525 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,800 I'm sorry, Dad. 526 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,760 It's all right... 527 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,880 It's gonna be all right. 528 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,680 Carla, hi, hello. 529 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,520 No, I'm sorry, uh, I'm Sam, Carla's boyfriend. 530 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,800 Oh, I didn't know Carla had a boyfriend. 531 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,480 How long have you guys been together? 532 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,800 About 2 years. 533 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:19,800 Right, well... 534 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,360 Nice to meet you, Sam. 535 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,600 Hey, you and Carla should come to Benidorm. 536 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,760 Yeah. 537 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,400 So, Carla wanted me to call and ask you not to ring her again. 538 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,240 I'm sorry. 539 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,960 Well, there you are. 540 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,280 Is this coming from her mum? 541 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,080 I need to go. I'm sorry. 542 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:05,120 {\an8}Figures from across the British entertainment industry have been paying tribute to Vince Starky, 543 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,000 whose death police say, they are treating as suspicious. 544 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,720 I touched his hand. 545 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,800 His skin was red from the sun. 546 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,960 What is it? - This is wrong. 547 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,240 Vince was still alive hours after this. 548 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,200 How do you know? 549 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,760 Because the dead don't burn. 550 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,080 What? 551 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,400 OK, here's a joke. 552 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,720 What do a murderer and a crap comedian have in common? 553 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,960 They both perform a terrible act. 554 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,560 Might nick that. 555 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,120 Vince had an overwhelming urge to put things right 556 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,040 because of his cancer diagnosis, so he told Chris... 557 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,240 that he was his real dad. 558 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:57,440 Hang on, he said what? 559 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,040 Chris got angry, pushed Vince, 560 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:02,560 who fell back and hit his head. 561 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,920 You killed your dad? - No, he didn't. 562 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,320 But you literally just said that Vince was his dad. 563 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,160 He was, but Chris didn't kill him. 564 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:13,760 Is anyone else confused? 565 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,160 When Vince's body was found, his arms were red with sunburn. 566 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,800 But in a photo taken the night before he died, 567 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,400 his arms were fine, meaning he must have been alive 568 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,200 on the roof when the sun came up. 569 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,080 How do you know that? - Because dead people don't sunburn. 570 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,280 I know, right? Every day is a school day. 571 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,400 After Chris pushed Vince, he might have looked dead, 572 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,000 but... he was only unconscious. 573 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,640 Paco locked up the club at 2 a.m. 574 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,040 He thought everyone had gone, but someone was still in the building. 575 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:55,600 You were in so much debt, you had to give up your apartment and sleep in your office. 576 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,520 The Benidorm Palace gigs were supposed to solve all your problems, but... 577 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,000 Vince just wasn't the box office draw he once was. 578 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,520 That is hilarious! 579 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,840 That is the funniest thing I've heard in years. 580 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,960 Yeah, not surprising. I've been to your club. 581 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,880 Hey, all right, mate. 582 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,280 When the sun came up the following day, 583 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,440 Vince was still alive, still lying on the roof where he fell. 584 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,400 And he stayed there. 585 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,680 Burning in the sun, 586 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,360 until Ziggy came out onto the roof for her first fag of the day. 587 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,480 Oh, come on, you don't know that! 588 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,680 Nah, but I can make a pretty good guess. 589 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,840 You couldn't smoke in the office cos it set off the alarm, 590 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,120 and there's black circles on the wall where you stubbed them out. 591 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,560 Deductive reasoning. 592 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,520 Actually, it's inductive reasoning because-- Dennis-- - Sorry. 593 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,000 Anyway, when you got out there, you found Vince. 594 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,560 Bloody hell! What happened to you? 595 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,440 Hang on, hang on, I'll... I'll get you some help. 596 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,840 And then you realised this was an opportunity. 597 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,240 Vince's gigs weren't selling, you were gonna lose the lot! 598 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:19,360 But if Vince died, the event insurance would pay out, and there he was, half-dead on your roof. 599 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,920 Nobody knew you were in the building. 600 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,760 If he died, all your problems would be over. 601 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,720 You just needed to make sure he did. 602 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:39,760 He probably didn't even know you were there. 603 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,120 After you killed him, you had to get rid of the murder weapon 604 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,760 and in a panic, you threw it off the roof. 605 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:55,280 But without the doorstop, you were locked up there, at the scene of your own crime. 606 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,800 So you called an engineer out for the air con 607 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,640 and you gave him Paco's number to open up. 608 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,920 Then you took your chance to escape. 609 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,880 What a bloody mess. 610 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,720 I knew I should have booked Joe Pasquale. 611 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,120 Mind, it's a long time since I've been in a pair of these! 612 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,560 So in Benidorm we have a lot of tourists. 613 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,400 Hands up if you're on holiday. 614 00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,440 Have you noticed how the new tourists look just like zombies? 615 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:07,800 They're all staggering around in packs, all white and pale, dark eyes, on the hunt for cheap beer. 616 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,480 Invasion of the Boddington Snatchers. 617 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,720 Where are you from, madam? Blackpool? Is this your husband? 618 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,560 I think that's what they call unconditional love. 619 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,760 Do you have kids? 620 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,520 No. 621 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,680 Give them a round of applause! 622 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,760 Thanks for your help. 623 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,560 Technically I only asked you to look at the crime scene. 624 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,400 You know you're not getting paid. 625 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,640 Justice is the only reward I seek. 626 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,320 No, it's not. You asked for a picture of me in the bath. 627 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,040 That's optional. 628 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:45,920 Could be the shower. 629 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,960 What about you? You got kids? 630 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,400 No. 631 00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,200 No kids. 632 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,560 Well, ladies and gentlemen, you've got a cracking night of comedy 633 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,360 in store for you at the Laughter Lounge tonight. Thank you all, 634 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,760 I've been Chris Mann. Have a good night! 635 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,160 Yay! 636 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,600 Look at him! 637 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,240 Well done, kiddo! 638 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:18,400 That's my son! 639 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,040 {\an8}I've got a big surprise for you guys. 640 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,200 {\an8}This has made the whole weekend magical! 641 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,120 'We need your help.' Estupendo! Another case. 642 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,200 Do you really think it was one of her friends? 643 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,400 Listen to me. If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut. 644 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:50,760 This is so cool. 645 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,800 I hear you're some kind of special investigators. 646 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,480 We're trying to help the Spanish police find out who did this. 647 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,840 - We're looking for some information. - About the Irish woman. 648 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,200 - What are you doing here? - Does this feel right to you? 649 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,760 They're all liars, Dennis! 650 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,200 You look like you could use another drink.