1 00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:44,110 * "Little Caesar". He'll be Ptolemy XV and the last Greek pharaoh. (cf. Note line 311). 2 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,230 "A fine reward is offered 3 00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:21,760 for the return of a slave woman 4 00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:22,970 stolen 5 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,020 or absconded 6 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:28,320 from the house of Claudius Appius. 7 00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:30,600 The following noblemen returning from Greece 8 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:35,900 have received pardon of Caesar and must not be harmed: 9 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,410 Publius Servilius Casca*, 10 00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:38,410 * One of Caesar's murderers. 11 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,860 Marcus Tullius Cicero, 12 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:44,880 Gaius Cassius Longinus* 13 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:44,880 * He'll be though one of the leading conspirators in the plot for murdering Caesar. 14 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:49,900 And Marcus Junius Brutus*. 15 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:49,900 * One of Caesar's murderers. 16 00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:52,720 The traitor Pompey has fled to Egypt. 17 00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:55,500 Glorious Caesar follows." 18 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,720 Shoulder arms! 19 00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:29,580 Forward! 20 00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:34,260 Forward face! 21 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,600 Forward march! 22 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,070 Behold Ptolemy, 23 00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,250 he of the two ladies, 24 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,890 he of sedge and bee*. 25 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:34,140 * The sedge and the bee are symbols of Upper and Lower Egypt. 26 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:37,900 Behold Ptolemy, 27 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:40,100 son of Ra, 28 00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:43,470 Ptolemy the divine. 29 00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:52,540 Greetings... 30 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:25,740 How long may we hope for the blessing of your presence? 31 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:26,730 Not long. 32 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,440 We are desolated. 33 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,560 If His Glorious Honor cares 34 00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,510 to divulge His purpose here, 35 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:36,740 the servants of the Mighty Lion would be ecstatic 36 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,900 to help you in any way whatsoever. 37 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,440 That is most kind of you. 38 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:48,440 How goes your preparation for war? 39 00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:50,570 War? 40 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,340 We have no war prepared. 41 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,370 I'm misinformed then. 42 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,370 I was told the sister of the Mighty Lion 43 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,370 disputes his right to the throne. 44 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,760 Do not speak of her. 45 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,290 I piss on her! 46 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,470 I shit on her! 47 00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:07,430 It is true 48 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:08,660 our beloved princess 49 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,240 has listened to ill counsel 50 00:07:10,270 --> 00:07:13,070 and raised some absurd claim. 51 00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:14,390 But... 52 00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:16,500 she has no support, 53 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,100 None but traitors and barbarians. 54 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,370 What was that name? 55 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,170 Deilogos of Pergamum. 56 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,800 He can raise ten legions. 57 00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:29,800 Deilogos of Pergamum 58 00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:33,000 Can raise ten legions for her. 59 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,570 A petty bandit. 60 00:07:34,590 --> 00:07:37,220 I assure you, you have no problem, 61 00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:40,670 no fears at all about Cleopatra. 62 00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:41,910 Where is she? 63 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,730 Well, nobody knows. 64 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,340 Somewhere in the South, we believe. 65 00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:48,490 He lies. 66 00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:50,290 They have her. 67 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:54,370 This dispute between you both must end. 68 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,540 Rome desires Egypt to be at peace. 69 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,600 Your grain ships must keep sailing. 70 00:08:00,670 --> 00:08:02,600 We are in absolute control of the country, 71 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,770 from the lighthouse to the cataracts. 72 00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:07,370 Good, in that case you should have no trouble 73 00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:09,560 in handing over Pompey Magnus. 74 00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,500 I do not like his tone. 75 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,320 He can go. 76 00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:16,350 Master, 77 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,350 do you remember what we spoke of before? 78 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,000 Of crocodile and fox? 79 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,640 Let us show him our surprise! 80 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,500 All right, go on. Show him. 81 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,870 We have a gift for you, Glorious Excellency, 82 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:39,540 that we think you will be very pleased with. 83 00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:18,640 We were going to make him a body, 84 00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:20,160 moving arms and legs, 85 00:09:20,170 --> 00:09:22,400 and do a mime show with real animals and everything... 86 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,140 Silence! 87 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,670 Shame on the house of Ptolemies 88 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,870 for such barbarity. Shame. 89 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,780 But... 90 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,940 you are enemies. 91 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,700 He was a consul of Rome! 92 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:54,570 A consul of Rome. 93 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:58,300 To die in this sordid way... 94 00:09:58,370 --> 00:10:02,200 Quartered like some low thief... 95 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,840 Shame! 96 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,170 Where is the rest of him? 97 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:12,340 Eh, um, he has been cremated... 98 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,220 with all proper funeral rites, of course. 99 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,430 With all decorum. 100 00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,900 I shall return tomorrow, 101 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,250 at which time 102 00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:26,270 you will give me the man that took Pompey's life. 103 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:30,170 Captain says the wind is fair. 104 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,150 - Good. - We can leave 105 00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:34,370 whenever you like. 106 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:38,040 You will take half the men, return to Rome immediately. 107 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,390 You shall have the honor of announcing Pompey's death. 108 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,800 I shall follow you... 109 00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:48,400 when I've settled things here. 110 00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:55,520 Settled things? 111 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,470 Settled what things? 112 00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,140 Civil war is in the air. 113 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,250 It must be prevented. 114 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,600 Why? 115 00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,580 Let the wretches fight it out. 116 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:11,300 War will disrupt the grain supply. 117 00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:15,200 Without Egyptian grain, Rome goes hungry. 118 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,090 It would be... 119 00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:20,020 unwise not to intervene. 120 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:23,870 And how will you intervene with only half a legion? 121 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,770 I do not intend to fight. 122 00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:29,930 I shall merely arbitrate the various factions. 123 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:32,810 You make it sound so easy. 124 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:38,160 Those various factions are united only by their hatred of Rome. 125 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,810 He's right. 126 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:46,560 Ptolemy might use you to rouse the people against a common enemy. 127 00:12:46,570 --> 00:12:49,500 I have conquered Gaul. 128 00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,740 I have defeated Pompey Magnus. 129 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,800 I think I can handle a small boy and a eunuch. 130 00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:57,740 A small boy with 100,000 men. 131 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,670 I am aware of that! 132 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:01,800 He's still a boy nonetheless. 133 00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:03,940 You seem to forget that 134 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:07,460 that our war is not over yet. 135 00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,910 Cato and Scipio are still at large. 136 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:12,800 Given time, they will raise another army. 137 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,760 And when they do I shall crush them. 138 00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:17,070 I'm glad you're so confident. 139 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,600 Some would call it hubris*. 140 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:20,600 * hubris or hybris. Greek word often translated by "immoderation", used to refer to the pride feeling that lead a man to think he's like a god. That unforgivable sin is often one of the motivating forces in Greek tragedies. 141 00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:23,700 It's only hubris if I fail. 142 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:34,240 Remember she is a princess of ancient blood. 143 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,840 When you find her you will treat her with the utmost respect. 144 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:40,570 You must obey her in all things, 145 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:41,710 within reason. 146 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:42,870 Understood, sir. 147 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:45,820 I'm counting on you, Vorenus. 148 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,820 You have something to say? 149 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,670 Regarding Pompey Magnus, sir, I wish to apologize. 150 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:56,990 It was my actions 151 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,020 that brought him here to this end. 152 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,950 - If I had done my duty... - Indeed. 153 00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:05,570 Dismissed. 154 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,200 Pompey's murderer. 155 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,600 Alas, he has run away. 156 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:40,000 Find him. 157 00:14:41,370 --> 00:14:42,970 In the meantime... 158 00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:45,070 these instruments 159 00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:47,240 tabulate the money that was borrowed 160 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:51,100 by His Majesty's illustrious father, Ptolemy XII. 161 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:52,900 In the name of the republic, 162 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,760 I have come to collect. 163 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,270 17 thousand thousand drachma. 164 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,470 17? 165 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,840 Absurd! 166 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,700 Four, perhaps. 167 00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:12,520 The tabulation includes all monies 168 00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:15,660 borrowed from Pompée and other agents of the republic 169 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,240 now unable to collect. 170 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,470 That is not just! 171 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,250 Post-mortem interests of this type are legally 172 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,940 entailed to the presiding consul, 173 00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:27,370 i.e. * Gaius Julius Caesar. 174 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:27,370 * i.e. = id est = that is to say 175 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,000 - It's law. - Roman law. 176 00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:32,930 Is there some other form of law*, 177 00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:32,940 * Egypt is not yet a Roman province (30 b.C.) But in 63 b.C. Ptolemy XII makes allegiance to Pompey, and in 59 b.C. Is called by Caesar consul amicus et socius populi Romani, ("friend and ally of the people of Rome"), that is to say vassal. 178 00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,990 You wretched woman? 179 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,840 A thousand apologies. 180 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,480 Forgive us. 181 00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,750 There! 182 00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,390 There's for your payment. 183 00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:53,420 So sorry... 184 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,990 His Majesty forgets He is a vassal to Rome. 185 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,910 Vassal? 186 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,750 Vassal? I am no vassal! 187 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,560 I am king! I am... 188 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,240 Sit down! 189 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,800 Thank you. 190 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,170 When can I expect payment? 191 00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:21,870 Your Honor, we have little enough ready coin for our own needs. 192 00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:24,280 Our tax farmers have not been working 193 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,480 as they should because... 194 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,400 Because? 195 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,970 Cleopatra's foolishness has stirred unrest in some parts. 196 00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:36,790 Nothing serious. 197 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,400 Well, I do not wish to appear unreasonable. 198 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:46,570 I will accept 10 thousand thousand drachma. 199 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:50,270 Even that amount will take many days to collect. 200 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,310 In that case, 201 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,680 I shall have ample time to adjudicate 202 00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,670 Your dispute with princess Cleopatra. 203 00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:58,580 Excellent notion. 204 00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:01,660 But alas, who knows where princess Cleopatra is? 205 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,640 Do not worry about that. 206 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,570 I shall find her. 207 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,800 Blood and fire! 208 00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:21,270 It's as hot as Vulcan*'s dick! 209 00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:21,270 * Vulcan is the god of the fire and of the blacksmiths. His forge is believed to be underneath the Aetna. 210 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,600 What a dump! 211 00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:32,430 Gyppo gods must be right wasters to make a place like this. 212 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:35,300 Don't speak ill of the gods in their own country. 213 00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,490 Gerrae*. 214 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:37,490 * = Bullshit. 215 00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:39,680 I've seen their gods. 216 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,150 Titus Pullo isn't scared of any bastard 217 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,370 with a dog's head on him. 218 00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:44,890 More fool you. 219 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:47,710 These gods are old and powerful. 220 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,940 Egypt was a great nation long before Rome. 221 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,590 Was it? 222 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,740 Mumped it up now, then, haven't they? 223 00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:03,210 Why are we here, anyhow? 224 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,470 Waiting. 225 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,460 Yeah, I know we're waiting, but for who? 226 00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:10,170 I'll know when I see them. 227 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:14,170 Be like that. 228 00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,040 "Vassal," he says! 229 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,240 Barbarian scum! 230 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,440 It's simple extortion. 231 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:27,000 If we do not pay him, he will put Cleopatra on the throne. 232 00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:28,500 Lf... 233 00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:30,470 If he could find her. 234 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,470 He is a resourceful man. 235 00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:35,970 He will find her. 236 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,140 She should have died when we first caught her. 237 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,950 Now it must be done. 238 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,390 She must die. 239 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,010 I agree. 240 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,300 My men could be with her by nightfall. 241 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,000 Tell him "wait." 242 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,070 Cleopatra. 243 00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:52,870 Queen majesty? 244 00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:56,400 Hutto asks to speak with you. 245 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:08,210 Slap me. 246 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,000 - Night or day? - Night. 247 00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:21,500 He may enter. 248 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:29,740 Majesty... 249 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,400 Fresh word has come from Alexandria. 250 00:21:34,270 --> 00:21:36,140 Speak, worm! 251 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,700 I am most deeply sorry to say 252 00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:44,300 Majesty must prepare Herself for Her journey to the afterlife. 253 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:48,500 When? 254 00:21:48,570 --> 00:21:50,840 Now. 255 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,640 Say your words. 256 00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:37,140 Hello, ladies. 257 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,440 Attack Caesar? 258 00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:44,600 Are you serious? 259 00:23:44,670 --> 00:23:46,270 Why not? 260 00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:48,470 He only has a few hundred men with him. 261 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,900 How many men could you rally? 262 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,840 You would be the liberator of Egypt. 263 00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:01,200 Your name would live forever. 264 00:24:01,470 --> 00:24:03,700 My mortal flesh should be less fortunate. 265 00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:05,520 Rome does not forget an injury. 266 00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:07,350 Forget Rome! 267 00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:09,970 Rome is doomed. 268 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,600 Her people tear at their flesh like mad dogs. 269 00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,570 In ten years the city will be 270 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,500 a forgotten ruin. 271 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,870 Maybe so, but what of next year? 272 00:24:20,870 --> 00:24:22,800 Perhaps you're right. 273 00:24:23,270 --> 00:24:27,470 Ergo*, caution is best, yes. 274 00:24:27,570 --> 00:24:27,570 * = therefore 275 00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:32,190 Perhaps... you don't have enough influence 276 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,340 among the people. 277 00:24:36,370 --> 00:24:39,640 Caesar has so few men. 278 00:24:40,370 --> 00:24:43,750 I could raise the whole city with a word. 279 00:24:45,570 --> 00:24:47,890 Think on it. 280 00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:53,850 Do you think I could 281 00:24:53,870 --> 00:24:56,670 borrow Septimius for a little while? 282 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,640 I'd be most grateful. 283 00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:03,010 Of course. 284 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,990 Messenger from Ptolemy XIII 285 00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:15,470 begs entry, sir. 286 00:25:36,340 --> 00:25:39,470 "Ptolemy the Water Bringer, he of the two ladies, 287 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:41,700 he of sedge and bee, king of kings, son of Ra, 288 00:25:41,770 --> 00:25:44,200 informs His Most Grand Honor, et cetera, 289 00:25:44,870 --> 00:25:48,540 that him who bears this message is him that killed Pompey." 290 00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:27,740 He's handsome enough. 291 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,090 Good, strong chin. 292 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,790 Looks like a mean old man to me. 293 00:26:36,570 --> 00:26:38,200 More. 294 00:26:38,270 --> 00:26:40,540 Divinity's mortal flesh turns green. 295 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,890 Give it here. 296 00:27:10,270 --> 00:27:14,240 She will look like a reptile when she arrives at Alexandria. 297 00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:26,940 Weak, I call it. 298 00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:37,470 Weak, am I? 299 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,620 She knows how to beat her slaves well enough, 300 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,640 but she cannot 301 00:27:40,670 --> 00:27:42,540 throw away that pipe, 302 00:27:42,570 --> 00:27:46,370 - and she knows it. - Insolent dwarf. 303 00:27:46,740 --> 00:27:48,870 You know nothing. 304 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,300 Throw it out. 305 00:27:56,270 --> 00:27:59,070 Throw... it out. 306 00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:43,520 Weak, am I? 307 00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:51,460 That Gyppo princess, 308 00:28:51,570 --> 00:28:53,810 now that's good cunny. 309 00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:55,600 Her father's people rode with Alexander*. 310 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:55,600 * Vorenus talks about Ptolemy Ist Sôter (367-283 av. J.C.). Lagos' son, the historian Pausanias wrote he'd be an illegitimate son of Philip II of Macedon (therefore Alexander's the Great half-brother). He grew with Alexander and was one of his lieutenants. When Alexander (323 b.C.), he made several conquest around Egypt that he had received, and started the Lagid dynasty from which are descended the brother-husband and the sister-wife Ptolemy XIII and Cleopatra VII. 312 00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:58,420 She is, though, 313 00:28:58,540 --> 00:29:00,580 and she wants me badly. 314 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,900 Should've seen her when I done that Nubian. 315 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,120 Wet as October! 316 00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:10,240 Pullo, look at me. 317 00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:12,150 She is a princess of royal blood. 318 00:29:12,170 --> 00:29:13,600 You touch her, you die. 319 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,600 I'm not stupid. 320 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:17,440 I'm just saying she wants me. 321 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,890 Lovely. 322 00:29:56,970 --> 00:29:58,130 Lovely! 323 00:29:58,300 --> 00:29:59,370 Nothing like cold, 324 00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:02,040 stinking sweat to seduce a man. 325 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,020 Caesar will think himself 326 00:30:04,030 --> 00:30:06,020 on Olympus with Aphrodite*. 327 00:30:06,020 --> 00:30:06,020 * Greek counterpart of Venus, goddess of the beauty and love. 328 00:30:06,020 --> 00:30:08,000 Hush, piglet! 329 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:12,270 What do you know of seduction? 330 00:30:13,340 --> 00:30:15,870 As long as Caesar is a man, 331 00:30:16,270 --> 00:30:18,060 I will have him. 332 00:30:18,070 --> 00:30:20,520 She seems very sure of herself. 333 00:30:21,330 --> 00:30:22,920 I have him... 334 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,170 or I die. 335 00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:29,200 So I will have him. 336 00:30:29,270 --> 00:30:31,500 May it be so, Isis. 337 00:30:49,470 --> 00:30:52,720 I only wish he were here today. 338 00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:56,700 My womb is between the flood. 339 00:30:58,340 --> 00:31:02,150 A child would come as sure as spring. 340 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,340 Come. 341 00:31:33,670 --> 00:31:35,170 You, come. 342 00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:53,250 So red! 343 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,690 Your Highness, how can I be of service? 344 00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:01,830 Leather. 345 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,370 Olives. Not so bad. 346 00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:11,910 - He will do. - Majesty commands 347 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,150 you will enter her. 348 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,640 I do not understand. 349 00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:18,350 You have coitus with her. 350 00:32:19,140 --> 00:32:22,200 You have it wrong. "Coitus" means to make babies. 351 00:32:22,270 --> 00:32:23,230 Exact! So, 352 00:32:23,250 --> 00:32:25,020 make babies. 353 00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:31,420 Don't be scared. 354 00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:33,200 I'm not scared, 355 00:32:33,570 --> 00:32:35,660 I just cannot do what you ask! 356 00:32:35,970 --> 00:32:38,790 It is not... It is not in our custom. 357 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,640 Roman men are not used by women in this way. 358 00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:43,390 Come, 359 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,090 you will enjoy it. 360 00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:47,890 My queen is an excellent lover. 361 00:33:19,370 --> 00:33:20,940 What is he waiting for? 362 00:33:23,870 --> 00:33:26,200 He must do as he is told! 363 00:33:27,070 --> 00:33:28,970 - Let me give you a hand. - Get off! 364 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,200 I must ask forgiveness of Your Majesty, but I cannot comply! 365 00:33:33,370 --> 00:33:35,770 I am no slave to be commanded so! 366 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,500 - With all respect. - He refuses? 367 00:33:39,870 --> 00:33:41,190 This... 368 00:33:41,660 --> 00:33:45,310 insect refuses me?! 369 00:33:45,370 --> 00:33:49,000 You dare refuse the daughter of a sun god? 370 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,760 Pullo! Report immediately to princess Cleopatra 371 00:33:54,770 --> 00:33:56,270 and do as she says! 372 00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:58,090 - Eh? - You heard! 373 00:33:58,340 --> 00:34:01,470 - What's going on? - Just go. 374 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,500 Legionary Titus Pullo reporting for duty, ma'am. 375 00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:36,970 - Gods, that was something, I can tell you. - I don't want to know. 376 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,650 If you value your life, you won't speak of it again. 377 00:35:41,670 --> 00:35:43,340 Why? 378 00:35:43,370 --> 00:35:45,300 I was only obeying orders. 379 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:46,800 Bloody good orders, too. 380 00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:49,570 What do you think Caesar will do if he hears of it? 381 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,170 I'm not stupid. 382 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,520 I promised the princess. I shall not speak of it. 383 00:35:56,570 --> 00:35:58,790 You can't keep a secret to save your life. 384 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,300 You've got a mouth like a drain. 385 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,890 Princess Cleopatra, sir. 386 00:36:50,940 --> 00:36:52,800 Daughter of the two rams, 387 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,640 mistress of sedge and bee! 388 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,380 Well done, Majesty. 389 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,570 Thank you. 390 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:35,870 Is something wrong, little husband? 391 00:38:50,070 --> 00:38:53,740 How funny you look in father's chair. 392 00:38:53,900 --> 00:38:55,740 I never wanted to harm you. 393 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,510 Of course you did not. 394 00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:02,980 It was your gelding 395 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,590 led you astray, no doubt. 396 00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:08,980 - Mistress... - It must not speak. 397 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,740 It must die! 398 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:30,970 It was him... 399 00:39:33,370 --> 00:39:35,240 Not me. 400 00:39:36,370 --> 00:39:38,670 He led him astray, 401 00:39:39,370 --> 00:39:41,390 not me. 402 00:39:41,470 --> 00:39:44,500 It was him! 403 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,340 Get in formation! 404 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,350 And you, Pullo. 405 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,720 Calpurnia... 406 00:40:59,740 --> 00:41:02,000 She's your third wife? 407 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,610 She is. 408 00:41:09,370 --> 00:41:11,970 Has she given you a son? 409 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,240 She has not. 410 00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:18,300 How sad. 411 00:41:18,370 --> 00:41:22,460 A man without sons is a man without a future. 412 00:41:22,670 --> 00:41:25,540 I never thought of it that way. 413 00:41:27,540 --> 00:41:29,020 Sad. 414 00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:32,280 Never mind. 415 00:41:34,270 --> 00:41:37,420 Have you secured the upriver ports? 416 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,970 You must do so immediately. 417 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,800 Whoever controls the ports controls Egypt. 418 00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:48,550 Good advice, no doubt, 419 00:41:48,770 --> 00:41:51,800 - if I wanted to control Egypt. - Of course you do. 420 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,740 Why else are you here? 421 00:41:54,770 --> 00:41:56,740 And why save me 422 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,130 so heroically from death... 423 00:41:59,170 --> 00:42:01,440 if not to use me 424 00:42:01,670 --> 00:42:02,940 as your... 425 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,100 puppet queen? 426 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,270 Do you dislike the notion? 427 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:12,860 My wishes 428 00:42:12,870 --> 00:42:14,640 are immaterial. 429 00:42:15,540 --> 00:42:18,670 You redeemed me from captivity. 430 00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:22,470 I am your slave. 431 00:44:54,870 --> 00:44:56,570 Testudo*! 432 00:44:56,570 --> 00:44:56,570 * = the turtle. A Roman military tactic: Soldiers close up all gaps between each other and grab their shields at the sides and above their heads so that the formation seems to have a shell. 433 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:40,500 Are you well? 434 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:41,310 Well enough 435 00:45:41,470 --> 00:45:42,780 though I do not sleep. 436 00:45:43,870 --> 00:45:45,970 I write very bad poetry through the night 437 00:45:45,980 --> 00:45:47,940 and in the morning I give it to the cook 438 00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:49,270 to stoke the kitchen fire. 439 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:50,590 It's a form of magic. 440 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,770 My ill conscience is transformed into 441 00:45:53,770 --> 00:45:56,160 roast birds and pastries. 442 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,370 You should have no ill conscience. 443 00:45:58,750 --> 00:46:01,010 We only did what we had to do. 444 00:46:01,580 --> 00:46:05,560 No doubt Saturn* said something of the sort after eating his children. 445 00:46:05,570 --> 00:46:05,570 * Saturn is the father of Jupiter, Juno, Neptun, Pluto, Hestia et Ceres. As he feared to be dethroned by one his children, he ate them, except Jupiter, saved by his mother, who grew up and made Saturn regurgitate his brothers and sisters. 446 00:46:07,050 --> 00:46:09,220 The question is... 447 00:46:10,010 --> 00:46:12,750 If Caesar does not return from Egypt? 448 00:46:12,780 --> 00:46:15,160 Caesar has escaped tighter traps than this. 449 00:46:15,170 --> 00:46:18,570 He has been besieged in Alexandria the better part of a year. 450 00:46:18,990 --> 00:46:21,230 Perhaps his luck has run out. 451 00:46:21,270 --> 00:46:24,100 Well, what fools we shall look 452 00:46:24,630 --> 00:46:26,610 if we have kissed the feet of a dead man. 453 00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:28,870 With Caesar dead, 454 00:46:29,110 --> 00:46:30,500 that bastard Marc Antony 455 00:46:30,570 --> 00:46:32,880 will be unleashed to do as he wants. 456 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,400 Very likely, 457 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,570 but it isn't a concern of mine. 458 00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:38,380 I am done with politics. 459 00:46:38,380 --> 00:46:40,410 Self-pity is all very well. 460 00:46:40,670 --> 00:46:43,600 I'm not unashamed myself. 461 00:46:44,740 --> 00:46:47,740 But we are still senators. 462 00:46:48,230 --> 00:46:50,620 We have responsibilities. 463 00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:53,190 I remind you we swore an oath of loyalty. 464 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,460 To Caesar, 465 00:46:54,470 --> 00:46:56,560 not to Antony. 466 00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,990 Cato and Scipio have raised an army in Numidia. 467 00:47:01,850 --> 00:47:03,990 If we were to communicate with them, 468 00:47:04,030 --> 00:47:06,400 we might... we might... 469 00:47:06,430 --> 00:47:08,040 If it isn't Cicero? 470 00:47:08,740 --> 00:47:10,980 How strange! 471 00:47:10,980 --> 00:47:13,760 I was just now thinking of you. 472 00:47:13,870 --> 00:47:16,760 I've received some happy news, 473 00:47:16,860 --> 00:47:20,410 and my first thought was to come and tell you two. 474 00:47:22,170 --> 00:47:23,870 And here you are. 475 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:27,170 What a coincidence! 476 00:47:27,540 --> 00:47:30,850 It's amusing how often that happens, eh? 477 00:47:31,370 --> 00:47:32,900 So I was walking across the forum 478 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,870 and thinking of this particular woman, 479 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,940 who should arrive right in front of me 480 00:47:36,950 --> 00:47:39,520 But the thing herself. 481 00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:42,270 Savage little Spanish creature. 482 00:47:42,270 --> 00:47:44,740 Hair down to her ass. 483 00:47:49,970 --> 00:47:52,350 Everyone misjudges me, you know. 484 00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:55,770 I'm a merciful man. 485 00:47:55,790 --> 00:47:57,970 I know that's not my reputation, but 486 00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,660 I am. 487 00:48:01,700 --> 00:48:05,060 Now, everyone's entitled to a few mistakes. 488 00:48:05,070 --> 00:48:08,200 Gods know, I made one or two myself. 489 00:48:10,070 --> 00:48:12,520 I've done things... 490 00:48:13,370 --> 00:48:15,390 things I'm 491 00:48:15,670 --> 00:48:17,640 ashamed to think of. 492 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,720 We are, all of us, imperfect in our way. 493 00:48:24,740 --> 00:48:26,480 Exactly. 494 00:48:26,550 --> 00:48:28,570 We are, all of us, 495 00:48:28,580 --> 00:48:30,440 imperfect. 496 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:39,070 Give me your hands, brother Cicero. 497 00:48:43,270 --> 00:48:46,070 With all my heart... 498 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,660 I forgive you. 499 00:48:49,270 --> 00:48:51,540 I don't know what you mean. 500 00:48:54,270 --> 00:48:57,230 Nothing escapes me. 501 00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:01,280 If a pigeon dies on the Aventine*, 502 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:01,280 * One of the seven hills surrounding Rome. 503 00:49:01,290 --> 00:49:02,910 I hear of it. 504 00:49:05,540 --> 00:49:07,370 So be assured, brother, 505 00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:09,900 if I ever, again, 506 00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:12,260 hear your name 507 00:49:12,270 --> 00:49:13,760 connected 508 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,400 with murmurs of treachery... 509 00:49:22,170 --> 00:49:24,070 I will cut off 510 00:49:24,140 --> 00:49:28,600 these soft, pink hands, 511 00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:33,260 and nail them to the Senate door. 512 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,110 Antony? 513 00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,340 You said you had happy news to tell us. 514 00:49:55,340 --> 00:49:58,100 Yes. Of course. 515 00:49:58,670 --> 00:50:01,620 A courier came from Alexandria. 516 00:50:01,970 --> 00:50:04,140 Caesar has lifted the siege 517 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,500 And massacred the armies of Ptolemy. 518 00:50:06,530 --> 00:50:08,970 He is safe and sound, 519 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,710 and master of all Egypt. 520 00:50:15,100 --> 00:50:18,790 The man is a damn prodigy, eh? 521 00:50:35,940 --> 00:50:38,870 Atten-hut*! 522 00:51:12,270 --> 00:51:15,470 Hail Caesar!