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We are gathered here today
to immortalise in song
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the life and untimely death
of a great legend.
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- Rango.
- So sit back, relax,
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00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:30,049
and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn
and assorted confections
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while we tell you the strange
and bewildering tale of a hero
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who has yet to enter his own story.
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Crunchy, creamy, cookie,
candy, cupcake.
8
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Okay, everybody,
let's take it from the top.
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The stage is set,
the night moist with apprehension.
10
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Alone in her chamber, the princess
prepares to take her own life.
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"It is far better to nourish worms
than to live without love."
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She reaches for the poisoned chalice.
13
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Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio
plots his ascension to the throne
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while her ageing father lies gravely ill.
15
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"Yes, I am gravely ill."
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"Hark, who goes there?"
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'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero,
18
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returning to rescue
his emotionally unstable maiden!
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Unhand her, you jailers of virtue,
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or taste the bitter sting
of my vengeance!
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The sting of my...
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Dr. Marx?
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Dr. Marx,
I'm not getting anything from you.
24
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People, we've talked about this.
Acting is reacting.
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Victor, you were wooden!
There, I said it.
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Mr. Timms? You were good.
27
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Perhaps a little too good.
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What's that, Victor? My character's
undefined? That's absurd.
29
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I know who I am.
I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero.
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Every story needs a hero.
I mean, who else is better qualified
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to bask in the adulation
of his numerous companions?
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The stage is waiting.
33
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The audience thirsts for adventure.
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Who am I?
35
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,435
I could be anyone.
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I could be the sea cap'n
returning from a mighty voyage
37
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to reclaim his mechanical arm!
38
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Or I could be the rogue anthropologist,
battling pythons down in the Congo!
39
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Down, Chongo, down!
40
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,120
And if you desire romance,
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I will become the greatest lover
the world has ever known!
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I couldn't help but notice you
noticing me noticing you.
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You know, the womens find me
uncomfortably good looking.
44
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But you seem remarkably at ease.
45
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Stop it. No, really.
46
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Well, if you must. What are you doing?
47
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That tickles. Are those real?
48
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That's it! Conflict.
49
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,988
Victor, you were right.
I have been undefined.
50
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:44,201
People, I've had an epiphany.
The hero cannot exist in a vacuum!
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What our story needs is an ironic,
unexpected event
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that will propel the hero into conflict!
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Mr. Timms?
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That's right! You!
55
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Don't be shy. Come on.
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It's okay.
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That's it, a little closer.
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Good.
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I won't bite you.
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I need a little help here.
61
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Are you okay?
62
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I must get to the other side.
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The other side? You mean, just now,
that was you crossing the road?
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That's why the...
65
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Why'd you do that?
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00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,757
This is my quest. He waits for me.
67
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What? Who?
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00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:08,887
The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one.
69
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:13,350
They say he rides an alabaster carriage
with golden guardians to protect him.
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What are you talking about?
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Enlightenment.
We are nothing without it.
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Nothing? Your delusional quest
just ruined my life!
73
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,945
I had an incredibly complex
social network going!
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Highly sophisticated friends!
I was very popular!
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Friends? I don't see no friends.
76
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You are a very lonely lizard.
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Look, I need water, hydration.
My teeth are chapped.
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I need lotion.
I'm down to one layer of skin already.
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Pretty soon,
I'm going to start seeing my insides.
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Not unlike what you've got going there.
81
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Listen, I can't survive
in the desert, okay?
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I... I don't belong here.
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That may be true, but here you are.
84
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Now help me up
and I will help you find what you seek.
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- You will?
- And perhaps more.
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Quickly. I must get back to my quest.
87
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- You mean you've done this before?
- Yes. Many times.
88
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Come, come. That's it, pull my finger.
89
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The Spirit is waiting for me.
90
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Okay, okay.
91
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,252
Okay. That's not going to work.
92
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I must get to the other side.
93
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Why don't you just wait
until there are no cars coming?
94
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It's not so easy as it looks.
95
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,761
What?
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Is a metaphor.
97
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There's another one!
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00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:06,922
I knew it.
99
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You need a little help, amigo?
100
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:23,438
I think the metaphor broke my spleen.
101
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,108
The path to knowledge
is fraught with consequence.
102
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I'm just looking for the path to water.
103
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If you want to find water,
you must first find Dirt.
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Dirt.
105
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,538
Destiny, she is kind to you.
106
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Tomorrow is Wednesday.
The water comes.
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00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:47,171
At noon, the townspeople gather
for a mysterious ritual.
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A town? You mean, with real people
and everything? Where?
109
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A day's journey. Follow your shadow.
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You want me to just walk out
into the desert?
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That's the way.
112
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Okay. So you're saying
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there's a town, a real town,
not a metaphor town.
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Go on. It's okay.
115
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Okay.
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Well, then, I'm going.
117
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I am leaving the road now!
118
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I'm walking into the desert!
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Alone!
120
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We all have our journeys to make!
121
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I will see you on the other side.
122
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Welcome, amigo
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To the land without end
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The desert and death
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Are the closest of friends
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We sing of his courage
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In magnificent song
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But pay close attention
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He won't be here long
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As the birds pluck his eyes
The sun bleaches his bones
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See his entrails get scattered
Watch him lose his cojones
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Here in the Mojave Desert,
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animals have had millions of years
to adapt to the harsh environment.
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00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,739
But the lizard? He is going to die.
135
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"Four score and seven years ago,
our fathers..."
136
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- Don't move.
- What?
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00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,586
- Don't move!
- Not moving.
138
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:52,754
Not moving.
139
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Try to blend in.
140
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,675
Blend in? What do you mean?
141
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Blend in.
142
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,515
What are you saying?
143
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,935
- Too late.
- No, no. It's not too late!
144
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,271
I'm blending! I'm a blender!
145
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,481
Hey, calm down! What are you doing?
146
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,902
Stop moving!
147
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,238
Try not to look conspicuous.
148
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,291
- What are you doing?
- I'm blending.
149
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- Go blend somewhere else.
- Don't distract me.
150
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,128
- No room at the inn.
- It's an art, not a science.
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00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,172
- Find your own hiding place.
- No, this is good.
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00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,966
Here she comes! You better run, Mojito!
153
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,845
- What? I thought you said, "Don't move."
- That was before. Now, you run.
154
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,228
Oh, hey. Proboscis.
155
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Testy.
156
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:49,788
Please, no, please. I have vertigo!
My glands are swelling!
157
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,457
Please, no.
158
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You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard!
159
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,430
Get out of there.
I'm going to strangle your huevos!
160
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,306
Big bird! Big bird!
161
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,893
No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding!
162
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,895
- Come on, we're friends, right?
- I don't know you!
163
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,772
- Lizards, frogs...
- Find your own hiding place!
164
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,524
- We're practically related!
- No room at the inn!
165
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,025
- Come on, move over!
- You're not my friend!
166
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,236
I'll let you kiss my sister!
167
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,872
You son of a...
168
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,846
Where are your friends now, amigo?
169
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,169
Get your slimy-webbed phalanges
off my boots!
170
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:03,296
Sorry.
171
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,633
I got a bead on you, stranger.
So you get up real slow
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00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,176
lessen you want to spend the better part
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00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,136
of the afternoon
putting your face back together!
174
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,931
- No, ma'am, I don't.
- Who are you?
175
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,350
- Who am I?
- I'm asking the questions here!
176
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,894
Our town is drying up.
We're in the middle of a drought.
177
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,729
Now someone's dumping water
in the desert!
178
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,940
It's a puzzle of undeterminable size
and dimension,
179
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,859
but I intend to find out
what role you playing in all this.
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00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,571
- Role?
- What are you involved in?
181
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,198
Well, I'm glad you asked.
182
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:33,410
I've got two one-acts, a mystery
and a musical I've been gestating.
183
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,621
I got the words, I'm just working on
the melody right now. It's like a...
184
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,041
I think it's gonna be a western.
185
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,752
A monkey got a cracker
His mother was a slapper
186
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,464
She'll be coming 'round the mountain
in the rain
187
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:50,635
You ain't from around here, are you?
188
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,972
I'm still working on it.
189
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,891
So, what's your name?
190
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,519
- Beans.
- That's a funny kind of name.
191
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,564
What can I say?
My daddy plumb loved baked beans.
192
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,399
Well, you're lucky
he didn't plumb love asparagus.
193
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,692
What are you saying?
194
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,861
I mean,
I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself,
195
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,238
but I'm not sure that a child
would appreciate the moniker.
196
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:14,951
My daddy was a great man, even if
he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes.
197
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,579
- Spicy.
- You're eating his ashes!
198
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,123
You carry his remains?
199
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,501
No, his ashes. He loved to smoke.
They never found the body.
200
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,587
Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.
201
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,672
- What are you implying?
- Nothing.
202
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,758
My daddy was never near
that mine shaft.
203
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,426
He'd been sober for over a month!
204
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,471
And for you to insinuate that he would
abandon his parental responsibilities
205
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,516
at a delicate time in my personal
development is an affront to my sense...
206
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,563
Miss Beans?
207
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,816
Miss Beans? Hello?
208
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:49,861
Hello?
209
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,004
And until the people of Andromeda Five
210
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,257
return him safe and sound,
I will not sell my ranch!
211
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,969
- What... What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
212
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,930
- What am I doing?
- You're cuddling me.
213
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,431
- You were frozen.
- I was not.
214
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,433
Yes, you were. You stopped talking.
215
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,812
It's a defence mechanism.
Actually, lots of lizards have it.
216
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,105
You're making that up.
217
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,149
So, you gonna die out here,
or you want a ride into town?
218
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:32,195
No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please.
Thank you. Sorry.
219
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:36,032
Today's Wednesday.
Wednesday's when we all get to it.
220
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,243
So who are you, really?
221
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,078
Well, I'm a man of many epithets.
222
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,539
There's my stage name, my pen name,
my avatar.
223
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,166
I had a pseudonym once,
but I had it legally changed.
224
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:49,254
And so the stranger,
seeking companionship,
225
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:53,675
finds the woman,
much like the sirens of ancient times
226
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,054
luring him to his certain demise.
227
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,432
...nom de plume, I have a CB handle.
228
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,225
I'm actually one of the few men
with a maiden name.
229
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,978
Whoa! Well, here we are.
230
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,486
Right.
231
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,156
Well, I sure do appreciate this,
Miss Beans,
232
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,992
- and if there's ever anything that I...
- Get on up!
233
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,119
Okay, then!
234
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,621
See you, Beans.
235
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,431
You heading out, Jim?
236
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,642
Well, we gave it our best shot.
We had to sell out.
237
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,604
Can't grow no crops without no water.
238
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,690
Bye, now!
239
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,946
What is it?
240
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,284
What was that for?
241
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,077
You're funny looking.
242
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,830
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're funny looking, too.
243
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,291
- That's a funny-looking shirt.
- That's a funny-looking dress.
244
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,794
- You got funny-looking eyes!
- You got a funny-looking face!
245
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,840
You're a stranger.
Strangers don't last long here.
246
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,343
Here's your beans, Beans.
247
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,470
I'm gonna need some more feed, too,
Willie.
248
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,599
Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts
already. I can't give you more credit.
249
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,976
But I'll have what I owe you at noon.
250
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:32,315
You don't understand. It's Mr. Merrimack
down at the bank. He cut off all credit.
251
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,609
Hey, Beans! Beans!
252
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,820
You know that there fella?
253
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,446
Hey, Beans! Miss Beans!
254
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,490
Nope.
255
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,783
Hey, Beans!
256
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,034
Hey.
257
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,789
Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in.
258
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,798
I'd like a glass of water.
259
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,219
He wants a glass of water!
260
00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:27,597
Make it a double!
261
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,057
Give him the spittoon!
262
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,690
Cactus juice. That's what we got.
263
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,257
Hey, there, fruit cup.
264
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:07,387
You're a long ways from home, ain't ya?
265
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:10,014
Who exactly are you?
266
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,687
Who am I?
267
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,523
I could be anyone.
268
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:26,572
What's the matter?
You missing your mommy's mangos?
269
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,867
As a matter of fact, I am.
270
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,870
But not as much as
your daddy's cooking!
271
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:38,292
Exactly where did you say
you were from?
272
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:41,713
Me? I'm from the West.
273
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:45,049
Out there, beyond the horizon.
Past the sunset.
274
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,719
The Far West.
275
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,389
Yeah, that's right, hombres.
276
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:54,225
The place I come from,
we kill a man before breakfast
277
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,477
just to work up an appetite.
278
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,272
Then we salt him, and we pepper him.
279
00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:03,526
Then we braise him in clarified butter.
And then we eat him.
280
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,653
- You eat him?
- That's what I said!
281
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:09,866
Hell, I seen things make a grown man
lose control of his glandular functions!
282
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:13,161
You spend three days in a horse
carcass, living off your own juices.
283
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:16,122
It'll change a man. Oh, yeah.
284
00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:23,087
Had a few extra aces in this deck,
gents. Just the way I like it.
285
00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:28,092
So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend,
I am not from around these parts.
286
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:30,511
You might say I'm from everywhere
there's trouble brewing
287
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:32,889
and hell waiting to be raised.
288
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,434
You might say
I'm what hell's already raised up.
289
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,270
Name's
290
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,606
Rango.
291
00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,275
Rango.
292
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,112
Are you the fella
that killed them Jenkins brothers?
293
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,574
Killed them with one bullet.
294
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,451
Don't get no deader.
295
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,620
All seven of them?
296
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,122
That's right.
297
00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,458
All seven of them.
298
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,670
Exactly how you do that, Mr. Rango?
299
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:09,050
You know, I'm glad you asked me that.
300
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:13,137
And I will be happy to tell you how.
But you're all gonna have to listen up!
301
00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,641
Because this is where it gets
302
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,018
complicated.
303
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:24,023
That'll close out your account,
Mrs. Oats, two gulps and a swig.
304
00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:27,401
Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left
of your college education!
305
00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:32,073
I don't rightly have
no other choice, Beans.
306
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:36,327
Times being so hard,
we just can't give no more credit.
307
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:39,664
But this here is a bank.
This is where you keep the water.
308
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:47,171
Beans, you've been like a niece to me
ever since your daddy
309
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:52,218
did not fall drunk down a mine shaft.
310
00:25:52,343 --> 00:25:56,848
I've tried to protect you and others
from certain realities.
311
00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,933
But that... Well...
312
00:25:59,517 --> 00:26:01,227
- Mr. Merrimack?
- Realities are bearing down.
313
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:02,854
Mr. Merrimack!
314
00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:04,897
Are you all right?
315
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:09,026
Beans, I need to show you something.
316
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:20,204
- That's all that's left?
- And this here is the reserve!
317
00:26:20,288 --> 00:26:21,956
I don't know if you've noticed,
318
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:25,543
but folks just ain't making deposits
on a Wednesday no more!
319
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:29,088
Mr. Merrimack, if I don't get some water,
I'm gonna lose my ranch
320
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,549
and you're telling me
that's all that's left in the whole town?
321
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:34,802
Now that just don't make no sense.
Now, listen.
322
00:26:34,886 --> 00:26:38,890
Someone is dumping water
in the desert.
323
00:26:39,557 --> 00:26:42,310
I seen it with my own eyes.
324
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,022
Water in the desert?
325
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,150
Was this during
one of your special times?
326
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,484
No.
327
00:26:50,568 --> 00:26:54,655
Well, we can all dream,
but this is the reality.
328
00:26:54,739 --> 00:26:58,367
Why do you think so many people
are selling out? They just can't make it.
329
00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,912
Well, what am I supposed to do?
330
00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:04,040
Well, I suppose
we could talk to the Mayor.
331
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:07,293
I hear he's been helping people out
in this time of crisis.
332
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:08,502
The Mayor?
333
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:11,297
He may be our only hope.
334
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:14,342
Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back
towards number three,
335
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,801
and that's when the roof caved in,
336
00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:18,012
igniting the thermos
of pure grain alcohol
337
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,933
instantly vapourising his bodily form,
leaving nothing but a charcoal statue
338
00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:24,143
and a high-pitched squeal.
339
00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:33,861
Hold on, there. That's only six.
What happened to number seven?
340
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,447
Number seven?
341
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,866
Hell, he died of infection.
342
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,163
- Seven men!
- One bullet!
343
00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:46,290
Drinks all around!
344
00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:51,170
Dance for me, Sod Buster!
345
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:54,006
- Yes, dance like a chicken!
- That's right! Dance!
346
00:27:55,466 --> 00:27:57,635
You got corn in your ears, mate?
347
00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,680
You don't pay the mortgage,
you don't own the land!
348
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:03,849
- That's basic real estate law, my friend.
- Quid pro quo!
349
00:28:03,975 --> 00:28:07,019
If I see your face in this town again,
350
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:11,524
I'm gonna slice it off and use it
to wipe my unmentionables.
351
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,401
Mind the beak.
352
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:17,154
And don't come back!
353
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:21,701
What are you all gawping at?
354
00:28:25,246 --> 00:28:28,833
Hey, Bad Bill,
there's something I got to tell you!
355
00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,714
What is this?
356
00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:38,843
You know who that is, Bill?
That there's Rango!
357
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,763
Yeah, he ain't afraid of you!
He ain't afraid of none of you.
358
00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,307
Killed them Jenkins brothers.
359
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:47,351
- Done it with one bullet, Bill.
- All seven of them!
360
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:49,895
Is that right?
361
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,894
Let me get that before you...
362
00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:36,067
No. Oh, I know. Here.
363
00:29:39,904 --> 00:29:42,448
Just take care of that for you.
364
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,451
There. All better.
365
00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:12,436
T.O. T.O. Just a second.
366
00:30:14,772 --> 00:30:16,148
All right, now listen!
367
00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:19,485
I'm going to give you fellas
one last chance to reconsider!
368
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:27,243
And if you don't want to reconsider
369
00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:30,454
I might consider reconsidering myself.
370
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:45,177
Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
371
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:46,887
All right, now listen up!
372
00:30:46,971 --> 00:30:50,015
Things are going to be different
around here now that Rango's in town.
373
00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:53,185
Got some new rules!
I want my shoes shined every morning,
374
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:55,187
my coffee hot, Danish on the side.
375
00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:57,523
Whatever you do,
don't look me in the eye.
376
00:30:57,648 --> 00:31:00,109
Stay out of my peripheral vision!
377
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:02,153
- It's Rango.
- What's he up to?
378
00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:05,406
He ain't afraid of nobody.
He's telling that bird what's for!
379
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,324
And when you see me coming,
stand aside.
380
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,369
I take large steps and I don't want
none of you hayseeds
381
00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:13,164
getting your bodily fluids on my boots!
382
00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,835
Of course, there is no need for violence,
383
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,880
as long as we stick together,
work as a team.
384
00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:24,383
So I want you all to come outside now
and line up single file
385
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,968
while I take a brief intermission!
386
00:31:28,846 --> 00:31:30,639
What's he doing now?
387
00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:32,349
I think it's a number two.
388
00:31:53,871 --> 00:31:55,873
Never mind.
389
00:32:16,769 --> 00:32:18,479
Take a look-see over here!
390
00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:19,813
Well, look at him now!
391
00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:21,774
He's chasing after that hawk!
392
00:32:21,899 --> 00:32:23,400
Give him hell, Rango!
393
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:20,100
- Did you see that?
- He killed that thing!
394
00:34:20,184 --> 00:34:21,852
What do you think, Doc?
395
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:25,314
This hawk is dead!
396
00:34:25,898 --> 00:34:28,359
Shoot, I say we cook that right up.
397
00:34:28,484 --> 00:34:30,152
He did it with one bullet!
398
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,779
Just like he said!
399
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,614
It's about time
we had a hero around here.
400
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,991
One who ain't in a pine box.
401
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,495
I think it's time he met the Mayor.
402
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,539
You hear that, Rango?
You're going to meet the Mayor!
403
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:45,000
Let's hear it for Rango!
404
00:34:48,337 --> 00:34:50,756
And so the stranger basks
405
00:34:50,881 --> 00:34:54,218
in the adulation of his new friends,
406
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:59,515
sinking deeper into the guacamole
of his own deception.
407
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,266
When is he going to die?
408
00:35:01,392 --> 00:35:03,852
Soon, compadre. Soon.
409
00:35:20,411 --> 00:35:22,413
My land is not for sale!
410
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,083
I came here to save my land, not sell it!
411
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:29,878
I'm sure there's something reasonable
we can work out if you just talk to him!
412
00:35:31,255 --> 00:35:33,048
Beans! Where are you going? Beans?
413
00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:35,426
The Mayor will see you now.
414
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:44,143
Water, Mr. Rango, water.
415
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:47,938
Without it,
there's nothing but dust and decay.
416
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:52,568
But with water there's life.
417
00:35:54,445 --> 00:35:59,450
Look at them, so desperate to live,
they'll follow it anywhere.
418
00:36:00,117 --> 00:36:02,202
That's the immutable law of the desert.
419
00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:08,333
Control the water
and you control everything.
420
00:36:08,584 --> 00:36:12,921
But I don't have to tell you that being
a true man of the West, as you are.
421
00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:17,426
Oh, yeah. The West is the best.
422
00:36:17,593 --> 00:36:19,761
This is from my private stock.
423
00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:22,973
Vintage rainwater
from the Great Deluge.
424
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:27,561
Not Noah's deluge.
Good heavens, I'm not that old.
425
00:36:30,314 --> 00:36:32,691
I guess power has its privileges.
426
00:36:33,275 --> 00:36:34,776
You make a good point, son.
427
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,864
But with privilege comes responsibility.
428
00:36:40,491 --> 00:36:43,452
Hell, I was mayor here
before there was a Dirt!
429
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,872
And I may be
just a sentimental old turtle
430
00:36:46,997 --> 00:36:52,002
but I think there's a future for this town.
And I hope you'll be part of it.
431
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,632
- To Dirt!
- To Dirt.
432
00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:03,180
You see them, Mr. Rango?
All my friends and neighbours?
433
00:37:04,181 --> 00:37:07,518
It's a hard life here. Very hard.
434
00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:12,022
Do you know how they make it through
each and every day?
435
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,190
They believe.
436
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,693
They believe it's going to be better.
437
00:37:16,818 --> 00:37:20,155
They believe that the water will come.
438
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,741
They believe against all odds
and all evidence
439
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:25,035
that tomorrow will be better than today.
440
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,665
People have to believe in something.
441
00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:33,585
Right now, they believe in you.
442
00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:40,050
Pick it up, Mr. Rango.
Your destiny awaits.
443
00:37:43,554 --> 00:37:47,015
People have to believe in something.
444
00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,649
It's almost noon. Is everything ready?
445
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:58,569
Yeah. But he might be a problem.
446
00:37:58,652 --> 00:38:02,072
He's not a problem, William.
He's a solution.
447
00:38:05,409 --> 00:38:06,743
It just don't make no sense.
448
00:38:06,994 --> 00:38:08,412
This whole town is drying up,
449
00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:11,081
and the Mayor is the only one
who don't seem to be affected.
450
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,208
Doesn't that make you
just a wee bit suspicious?
451
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,503
And what about that water
I saw out in the desert?
452
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:20,924
All right! No need to incite anxiety.
I'll inquire about the Mayor.
453
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:24,761
But if you really feel
there's some conspiracy occurring,
454
00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:27,889
I suggest you take it up
with the new sheriff.
455
00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:32,227
This is going to be good. Hey!
Watch that needle there.
456
00:38:32,311 --> 00:38:34,271
Not too tight.
I want to leave room for some pucker!
457
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:35,397
That's good.
458
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,024
Oh, easy there, tiger.
459
00:38:37,149 --> 00:38:38,692
- A little up and back?
- I don't think so.
460
00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:39,818
Have you got French cuffs with that?
461
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,570
Excuse me, Sheriff Rango.
I want to talk to you.
462
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,155
Hey, Beans,
what do you think of the new duds?
463
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:45,240
I got a 10-gallon hat
marked down from 15.
464
00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:46,908
- That's nice.
- Have you met Angelique?
465
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:48,827
- Hello, Beans.
- Hello, Angelique.
466
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:49,953
- Tart.
- Floozy.
467
00:38:50,037 --> 00:38:52,247
- Trollop.
- Excuse me, Mr. Rango.
468
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,957
I will blow that ugly right off your face!
469
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,251
I was just thinking that...
470
00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:58,712
You want the old John Hancock,
do you?
471
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:00,922
- Well, here. Hold this.
- Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.
472
00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:02,716
There's a bullet in there.
473
00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:04,343
I know about the shindig this afternoon.
474
00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:06,928
- I ordered myself some right fancy duds.
- Sheriff, I'd like to file a...
475
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,764
- Mr. Rango!
- Oh, you, too? No problem.
476
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:10,474
- Here, let me just...
- I need you to investigate...
477
00:39:10,557 --> 00:39:13,435
You know, Beans, I bet you clean up
real nice, you put a little effort into it.
478
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,728
- What?
- Now, remember, son,
479
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:17,356
stay in school, eat your veggies,
burn everything but Shakespeare.
480
00:39:17,439 --> 00:39:19,066
- Who's Shakespeare?
- Sheriff Rango,
481
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,276
if that is your real name.
482
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,570
I am trying to save my daddy's ranch,
483
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,739
which is on the verge
of an agricultural meltdown
484
00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:28,742
while you're playing patty-cake
with this here trollop!
485
00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:34,289
Sad, really. Such a drab little thing.
486
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:36,124
Why does she do that?
487
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:39,461
- It's a survival reflex.
- Her switch is just broken.
488
00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:41,004
Well, that's an inconvenience.
489
00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:43,715
It is not a rash! It is a birthmark!
490
00:39:45,384 --> 00:39:46,676
I did it again, didn't I?
491
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,011
Did what?
492
00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:49,971
Let me ask you something.
493
00:39:50,055 --> 00:39:54,142
Did anybody here mention
what happened to our last sheriff?
494
00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:37,853
Pardon, but may I ask you...
Excuse me, may I ask you...
495
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:41,773
The last sheriff... Pardon me.
Where is everybody going?
496
00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:45,277
What exactly happened to the...
497
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,199
All day
498
00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:55,287
I've faced the barren waste
499
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:59,666
Without the taste of water
500
00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:07,048
Cool water
501
00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:13,305
Old Dan and I
502
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:15,390
With throats burned dry
503
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:20,145
And souls that cry
504
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:22,814
For water
505
00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:27,194
Cool
506
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:30,572
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
507
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:33,116
Clear water
508
00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,876
This is a heck of a hoedown
you got going.
509
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,753
Still working out those steps.
510
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:48,715
So, is this considered
normal civic behaviour?
511
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:51,301
Every Wednesday, just like clockwork.
512
00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:53,136
You kill bird.
513
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:56,097
Yeah. Matter of fact, I did.
514
00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:58,725
Bird dead. Snake come.
515
00:41:58,975 --> 00:41:59,976
Snake?
516
00:42:00,060 --> 00:42:01,853
He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr. Rango.
517
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:04,189
He never comes to town 'cause
he's scared of that hawk.
518
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:05,565
But he might come now.
519
00:42:05,649 --> 00:42:07,234
Can I have your boots
when you're dead?
520
00:42:07,317 --> 00:42:08,401
No!
521
00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:10,862
And I ain't got no problem
with this Rattlesnake Jake.
522
00:42:10,946 --> 00:42:12,614
That's just what Amos said.
523
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:14,824
Amos?
524
00:42:18,161 --> 00:42:20,497
You got any gold fillings?
525
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:41,351
My fellow Dirtonians.
526
00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:46,439
I welcome you to our great day
of deliverance. Hallelujah.
527
00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,108
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
528
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:51,736
Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot!
529
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:05,667
We have a newcomer
amongst us today, my friends.
530
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:08,503
A man I think needs
little introduction to you
531
00:43:08,587 --> 00:43:12,757
so bold has been his entry
into our fair society.
532
00:43:12,841 --> 00:43:16,094
Mr. Rango, would you step forward?
533
00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:26,271
The time has come, my friends.
The time that was foretold!
534
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:28,023
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
535
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:29,524
The sacred time!
536
00:43:29,608 --> 00:43:31,401
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
537
00:43:31,484 --> 00:43:33,862
The time of destiny!
538
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,530
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
539
00:43:35,614 --> 00:43:38,116
The time of deliverance!
540
00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:39,242
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
541
00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:43,455
It is the time of hydration!
542
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:01,389
- It's his fault!
- It's the newcomer!
543
00:44:01,473 --> 00:44:03,183
- Burn him!
- He's a witch!
544
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:04,392
I get his boots!
545
00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:08,730
My friends, my friends!
Temper your frustrations.
546
00:44:08,813 --> 00:44:13,902
Times will be tough from now on.
Sacrifices will have to be made.
547
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:17,656
But if I can help in any way,
please know that my door is always...
548
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:19,366
Hold it, hold it!
549
00:44:19,449 --> 00:44:22,243
Now, this whole thing
stinks three ways to Sunday.
550
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,829
First the bank's run dry
and now this here spigot?
551
00:44:24,913 --> 00:44:25,955
The bank's run dry?
552
00:44:26,039 --> 00:44:28,750
- What's she talking about?
- She said there's no water in the bank!
553
00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,175
This is all we have!
We can't give it all out!
554
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,469
That was my rehydration account!
555
00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:44,891
None of that civil disobedience
in my town, thank you very much.
556
00:44:47,477 --> 00:44:50,772
Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff.
Things were getting out of hand.
557
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:52,732
Come right in.
558
00:44:52,816 --> 00:44:56,861
Let me have a gander at the source
of the societal discontentment here.
559
00:44:59,656 --> 00:45:01,074
Mercy.
560
00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,868
All right, listen up! I've been thinking
561
00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:06,746
and I believe I've figured something out.
562
00:45:06,830 --> 00:45:09,290
You folks have a water problem!
563
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:13,920
Now just pay attention, everybody.
I'm trying to make a point here.
564
00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,798
Let's say this fella here
were to take a drink of water.
565
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:19,676
Just one little drink.
No harm, no foul, right?
566
00:45:22,846 --> 00:45:24,013
And you!
567
00:45:24,347 --> 00:45:27,100
You're just as dried up and parched
as a jackrabbit in July.
568
00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:30,270
So you belly on up
and take you a double shot!
569
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,356
Stay with me.
570
00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:38,111
What do you think happens then?
Why we'd all be drinking!
571
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:41,740
And before you know it,
there wouldn't be any more water.
572
00:45:41,823 --> 00:45:43,825
And then where would we be?
573
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,911
We'd be thirsty.
574
00:45:47,454 --> 00:45:49,164
Real thirsty.
575
00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:52,083
We'd turn on each other
like a bunch of animals!
576
00:45:54,711 --> 00:45:59,591
Now look here.
We have got six days of water.
577
00:46:04,596 --> 00:46:07,307
We have got five days...
578
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:12,437
As long as we've got water,
we've got ourselves a town.
579
00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:15,565
Sheriff Rango is right.
580
00:46:15,648 --> 00:46:19,277
As long as we have this water,
we have some hope.
581
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,154
And you can all take it from me.
582
00:46:21,237 --> 00:46:24,699
My 100% full-time employment
from this moment on
583
00:46:24,783 --> 00:46:28,745
will be to protect
our precious natural resource.
584
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,665
Ain't no one gonna tango
with the Rango.
585
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,805
Evening, ladies.
586
00:46:46,888 --> 00:46:48,681
Evening, Sheriff.
587
00:46:48,765 --> 00:46:50,892
And don't you come back!
588
00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:54,562
Hold on there, Gordy. You get back
in there and you assert yourself,
589
00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:57,899
and I think you'll find the people of this
here town to be surprisingly hospitable.
590
00:46:57,982 --> 00:46:59,275
Thank you, Sheriff.
591
00:46:59,359 --> 00:47:01,236
What? Not you again!
592
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,489
I stand corrected.
593
00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:13,122
- This ain't the bank.
- I told you, Jedidiah!
594
00:47:13,206 --> 00:47:14,499
Hold it right there!
595
00:47:14,582 --> 00:47:15,875
- Who's that?
- It's the Sheriff!
596
00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:17,627
Get them hands up
where I can see them!
597
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,421
Just as I suspected.
598
00:47:20,505 --> 00:47:23,258
Prospecting without the authorised
equipment. Don't move a muscle.
599
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,552
Prospecting?
600
00:47:29,639 --> 00:47:32,392
Now, you got your shovel,
pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah,
601
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:35,728
assorted snacks, some puzzle books
and you're gonna need a permit.
602
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,522
- Loofah.
- Ezekiel, Jedidiah!
603
00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:39,858
What the Sam Hill's going on up there?
604
00:47:39,941 --> 00:47:43,528
I've had polyps removed
smarter than the two of you!
605
00:47:43,987 --> 00:47:46,197
Hell's fire, this ain't the bank!
606
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:49,909
Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here,
helping us out.
607
00:47:49,993 --> 00:47:52,745
Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.
608
00:47:52,829 --> 00:47:55,415
That's right, sir. Just doing my duty.
609
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,251
The lonely constable on his rounds,
610
00:47:58,334 --> 00:48:00,670
keeping an eagle eye out
for mayhem and malfeasance.
611
00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,214
Does he look like he sounds?
612
00:48:04,674 --> 00:48:08,469
Well, Sheriff,
if we was to hit the mother lode,
613
00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,680
being prospectors and such,
614
00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:13,933
where would we deposit said annuity?
615
00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:15,977
Here in the town of Dirt,
we happen to have
616
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,897
the finest financial institution
this side of the Missouri.
617
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:23,234
Protected morning, noon and night
by yours truly.
618
00:48:24,986 --> 00:48:26,988
Much obliged.
619
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:30,074
The bank's been robbed!
The bank's been robbed!
620
00:48:30,158 --> 00:48:32,619
Good Lord, the bank's been robbed!
621
00:48:32,702 --> 00:48:34,120
What's going on?
622
00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,414
- It's gone! The water's all gone!
- What'd he say?
623
00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:37,790
He said the bank's been robbed!
624
00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:41,544
Dr. Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me!
625
00:48:42,170 --> 00:48:46,799
The bank's been robbed, the town is dry
"We'll die of thirst," the people cry
626
00:48:46,883 --> 00:48:51,429
He promised to protect the vault
The water's gone, it's all his fault
627
00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:54,057
All right, folks, stand back,
clear the area.
628
00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:55,475
This is a crime scene now.
629
00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:58,686
Secure the perimeter, dust for prints,
check for fibres, scan for DNA.
630
00:48:58,770 --> 00:49:01,481
I want a urine sample from everyone.
And get me a latte.
631
00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:02,899
And don't mix up the two.
632
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:04,150
What's this?
633
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:05,902
"Prospecting Permit."
634
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,779
I'll take that. Material evidence.
635
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,405
What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?
636
00:49:09,489 --> 00:49:12,200
- We need that water.
- We're all going to die!
637
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:15,912
My friends, we all know
what we have to do now.
638
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:19,791
That's right.
We all know what we have to do now.
639
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,918
- And that would be?
- Form a posse.
640
00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:23,878
Form a possum!
641
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,632
A posse.
642
00:49:29,050 --> 00:49:32,136
Now, we're gonna be doing this
in an orderly fashion.
643
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:37,642
First off, does anybody here know
how to use a firearm of any kind?
644
00:49:40,103 --> 00:49:41,729
All right, then.
645
00:49:41,813 --> 00:49:43,356
What do we do now, Sheriff?
646
00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:46,150
Now we ride!
647
00:49:59,122 --> 00:50:01,541
Where are we going?
648
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:02,875
What?
649
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:04,794
Where are we going?
650
00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:15,972
Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge
of all tracking and finding of villains,
651
00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,891
utilising your well-developed
Injun-uity, no offence taken.
652
00:50:18,975 --> 00:50:20,226
So which way do you think they went?
653
00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:22,895
You want to sniff the air or commune
with a buffalo or something?
654
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,484
Oh, you're good.
655
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,780
I'm depending on you, Spoons.
656
00:50:32,864 --> 00:50:35,533
You got a little tobaccy
in the beard there.
657
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:38,578
Always good to have a medical man
along, Doc.
658
00:50:38,661 --> 00:50:41,414
Reptiles got to stick together, right,
my brother?
659
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:42,790
I'm an amphibian.
660
00:50:42,874 --> 00:50:44,417
Ain't no shame in that.
661
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:50,173
You sure you're
fit for duty there, soldier?
662
00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:53,885
Well, you got a little something
in your eye there.
663
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:58,431
Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir.
It's hereditary.
664
00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:02,351
Well, I'm glad to hear
it's not contagious.
665
00:51:03,019 --> 00:51:06,689
Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute!
A posse ain't no place for a...
666
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:08,775
Never mind.
667
00:51:08,858 --> 00:51:10,818
Hold on there, little sister.
668
00:51:10,902 --> 00:51:13,613
Someone's gonna have
to look after the town while I'm gone.
669
00:51:15,448 --> 00:51:16,866
Can I gut-shoot someone?
670
00:51:18,201 --> 00:51:20,244
Let's put a pin in that.
671
00:51:20,745 --> 00:51:23,706
Sheriff, you're going to bring
that water back, aren't you?
672
00:51:24,582 --> 00:51:26,084
Count on it, little sister.
673
00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:32,381
- Which way do we go, Sheriff?
- There's tunnels everywhere.
674
00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:34,050
Whole town's perforated with them.
675
00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:37,678
She got more holes in her
than a painted lady on a porcupine.
676
00:51:37,804 --> 00:51:40,723
Hey, my daddy took me to her place.
677
00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:43,101
Not what I expected.
678
00:51:43,935 --> 00:51:46,854
How'd them fellers
find the bank, anyway?
679
00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:49,065
Gentlemen, if we can just
stay on task here.
680
00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:51,692
Sheriff! Over here!
681
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:56,739
- Would you look at that?
- Like seeing the face of God.
682
00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,575
Amen, brother.
683
00:51:59,659 --> 00:52:02,537
I remember when it used to flow
every Wednesday.
684
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:04,622
Those were the halcyon days.
685
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:06,958
Must be a reason she quit on us.
686
00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:10,795
Whatever the reason,
something is controlling this here water.
687
00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:12,672
What do you say, Sheriff?
688
00:52:13,673 --> 00:52:16,676
Clearly, the robbers came
from this direction.
689
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:19,178
I say we track this pipe
back to its hydraulic origin
690
00:52:19,262 --> 00:52:21,764
and apprehend the culprits
behind this aquatic conundrum.
691
00:52:21,848 --> 00:52:24,183
- What'd he say?
- I think he said follow the pipe.
692
00:52:24,267 --> 00:52:26,686
- He said follow the pipe.
- He said follow the pipe.
693
00:52:31,232 --> 00:52:33,150
Sure is humid down here.
694
00:52:33,234 --> 00:52:36,279
Yeah, it's activating my piles.
695
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,114
I had a goitre removed once.
696
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:41,325
Looked like Tony Bennett
stepping out of the shower.
697
00:52:41,409 --> 00:52:44,245
Shoot, I put that on a tortilla.
698
00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:59,844
Whatever you do, do not look down.
699
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:05,474
- What is this place?
- It's an aquifer.
700
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:08,853
What's an aquifer?
701
00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:10,938
Well, it's for aqua.
702
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:13,816
Well, it's empty now.
703
00:53:32,710 --> 00:53:34,670
That's a big one.
704
00:53:37,298 --> 00:53:39,925
- It's the end of the line.
- Don't go no further.
705
00:53:40,009 --> 00:53:43,804
Well, now that there is a pipe.
It's got to be connected to something.
706
00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:46,515
You talk too much.
Why don't you put a cork in it?
707
00:53:46,599 --> 00:53:48,976
Why don't you put a cork...
Tell you where the sun don't shine.
708
00:53:49,060 --> 00:53:50,561
Your mama did.
I'll cook her right up.
709
00:53:50,645 --> 00:53:52,188
You two just don't get it, do you?
710
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:55,941
Someone or something
is messing with our hydration
711
00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:57,985
and that pipe
has got something to do with it.
712
00:53:58,069 --> 00:53:59,904
I thought
we was following bank robbers!
713
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:02,281
We're experiencing a paradigm shift.
714
00:54:02,365 --> 00:54:04,992
I'm gonna shift the features on your face
if you don't shut up!
715
00:54:05,076 --> 00:54:06,369
Go ahead and try!
716
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:11,040
Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling.
You're affecting my cogitation.
717
00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:16,420
Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches.
718
00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,219
Sure enough.
719
00:54:23,803 --> 00:54:25,554
Smart thinking there, feller.
720
00:54:25,638 --> 00:54:28,349
- Start climbing.
- Get your foot out of my face!
721
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:29,975
Not bad, huh, Beans?
722
00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:32,478
You keep thinking like that,
your hat's gonna catch on fire.
723
00:54:32,561 --> 00:54:35,022
Well, you know, you get on a roll,
you just...
724
00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,191
Hot, hot! Burn.
725
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,956
Poor things.
All they wanted was a little water.
726
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:55,501
Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well.
727
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,294
- Hey, look what I found!
- What you got there?
728
00:54:57,378 --> 00:55:00,297
- I saw that first!
- Hey, that's mine!
729
00:55:00,381 --> 00:55:01,966
Give me that!
730
00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:04,051
It's empty anyway.
731
00:55:04,135 --> 00:55:05,594
I knew that.
732
00:55:05,678 --> 00:55:06,971
Where'd you find that?
733
00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:09,890
Sheriff! You're going to want to see this!
734
00:55:13,561 --> 00:55:15,271
It's Mr. Merrimack from the bank.
735
00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,772
What's he doing here?
736
00:55:16,856 --> 00:55:18,399
- Everybody stand back.
- All right, let me see.
737
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:20,985
Looks like them varmints shot him
in the back.
738
00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:25,239
No, this man wasn't shot.
He was drowned!
739
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:27,992
- Drowned?
- In the middle of the desert?
740
00:55:28,075 --> 00:55:29,827
What a way to go.
741
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:35,249
Well, now, whose boot prints are those?
742
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:42,548
That's interesting.
The ground's still wet.
743
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:44,633
I suppose we should bury him.
744
00:55:44,717 --> 00:55:47,303
I don't know. Birds got to eat, too.
745
00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:48,679
Circle of life!
746
00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:49,805
Sheriff.
747
00:55:49,889 --> 00:55:51,432
Will you say a few words?
748
00:55:52,808 --> 00:55:54,727
Yeah. Yeah.
749
00:55:57,188 --> 00:55:58,481
Dearly beloved.
750
00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:03,319
We are gathered here today
to honour this man.
751
00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:05,154
Mr. Merrimack,
752
00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:07,156
you have the right to remain silent.
753
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,575
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
754
00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:10,701
Amen.
755
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:12,036
- Amen.
- Amen.
756
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,080
Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing?
757
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:21,712
I see you're consulting with the spirits.
758
00:56:21,796 --> 00:56:25,132
No, I'm moulting.
Means I'm ready to mate.
759
00:56:26,634 --> 00:56:28,177
I'll keep that in mind.
760
00:56:28,844 --> 00:56:29,970
Cactus fruit.
761
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:32,848
Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit.
762
00:56:32,932 --> 00:56:34,725
I believe your people use it
as seasoning
763
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,268
when preparing your native dishes.
764
00:56:36,352 --> 00:56:38,187
Also natural laxative.
765
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:40,940
Pick up trail.
766
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:44,485
Three men heading west.
One blind, one with
767
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,531
enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
768
00:56:48,614 --> 00:56:51,909
- What did he say?
- They're riding sidesaddle.
769
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,410
- We're whispering.
- What'd he say?
770
00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:54,620
Someone's got a bad valve.
771
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,665
All right, which one of you fellers
needs a check-up?
772
00:56:58,624 --> 00:56:59,750
Awkward.
773
00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:04,380
What exactly are we going to do now?
774
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,383
Now we ride!
775
00:57:12,221 --> 00:57:15,933
That means we're riding now!
This moment.
776
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,353
Marshmallows remind me
of going camping with my daddy.
777
00:58:01,437 --> 00:58:03,606
I could eat them all night long.
778
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:08,611
Of course he did make me cough them
back up again for breakfast.
779
00:58:10,279 --> 00:58:13,449
This one time,
I coughed up an entire Dalmatian.
780
00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:17,369
That ain't nothing.
I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies.
781
00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:20,331
They started looking at me weird.
782
00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:23,709
I remember them.
They was quite friendly.
783
00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:27,338
I found a human spinal column
in my fecal matter once.
784
00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:33,010
You might want to get that looked at.
785
00:58:34,345 --> 00:58:36,263
Pass the beans, Beans.
786
00:58:36,347 --> 00:58:38,057
- Sheriff?
- No, thanks.
787
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:42,561
Mr. Rango? Can you tell us
about the Spirit of the West?
788
00:58:43,354 --> 00:58:46,482
- Yeah, tell us about that.
- Is it true what they say?
789
00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:50,235
Yes, the Spirit of the West!
790
00:58:50,319 --> 00:58:52,738
The eternally unattainable ideal.
791
00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:55,783
They say he rides in
an alabaster carriage
792
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,451
with golden guardians to protect him.
793
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:01,497
But he only appears to those
who have undertaken an epic quest!
794
00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:03,666
And have made it
795
00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:06,001
to the other side.
796
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:11,548
The other side of what?
797
00:59:12,007 --> 00:59:13,592
It's a metaphor.
798
00:59:13,676 --> 00:59:14,718
My eye!
799
00:59:14,802 --> 00:59:16,345
That's gonna heal right up.
800
00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:20,432
Sheriff? What are you going to do
about Rattlesnake Jake?
801
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:22,017
What? Where?
802
00:59:23,769 --> 00:59:27,731
Sorry about that. Word is
you come against him once or twice.
803
00:59:28,774 --> 00:59:30,109
Yeah.
804
00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:32,194
Jake. You mean my brother.
805
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:34,154
- Your brother?
- That's what I said!
806
00:59:34,947 --> 00:59:37,533
But he's a snake and you're a lizard.
807
00:59:37,950 --> 00:59:40,411
Well, Momma had an active social life.
808
00:59:41,829 --> 00:59:42,955
Did he ever bite you?
809
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:46,458
Sure enough did. Look at that baby.
Go ahead, you can touch it.
810
00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:50,462
That's interesting.
That there's a belly button.
811
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:52,131
Luckily, I'm immune to his venom.
812
00:59:52,214 --> 00:59:54,133
Put some in my coffee
just to give it a little tang.
813
00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:56,176
Is it true he's only scared
of them hawks?
814
00:59:56,260 --> 00:59:59,888
Them's what we call
his natural predator.
815
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,810
All this talk of that serpentine devil
is putting my quills on edge!
816
01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:06,895
I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir.
817
01:00:06,979 --> 01:00:10,149
Don't you all worry about a thing.
Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water
818
01:00:10,232 --> 01:00:12,234
and return to a hero's welcome.
819
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,904
Friends, before we bunk down
820
01:00:15,988 --> 01:00:18,449
I'd like us all to join hands
for a moment,
821
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,285
say a few words
to the Spirit of the West.
822
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:22,995
That's a good idea.
823
01:00:25,122 --> 01:00:28,125
Ain't always spoken rightly to you,
Spirit of the West.
824
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:34,131
But tonight I want to thank you for
bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives.
825
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,800
It's a hard life we got.
826
01:00:36,884 --> 01:00:39,803
Sometimes I don't know how
we're gonna make it.
827
01:00:40,262 --> 01:00:43,724
But somehow, Sheriff Rango
makes me think we will.
828
01:00:44,725 --> 01:00:47,603
We needed a brave man
and you sent us one.
829
01:00:48,729 --> 01:00:51,774
Nice to have someone
to believe in again.
830
01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:55,486
Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen.
831
01:00:56,445 --> 01:00:58,322
- Amen.
- Amen.
832
01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:31,980
Just checking.
833
01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:37,319
- It's a little cold tonight.
- Thank you.
834
01:01:39,822 --> 01:01:42,658
You ever feel like those things
are looking at you?
835
01:01:42,825 --> 01:01:44,493
That's a Spanish dagger.
836
01:01:44,618 --> 01:01:47,412
But around here,
we just call them the Walking Cactus.
837
01:01:47,496 --> 01:01:48,580
Walking?
838
01:01:48,664 --> 01:01:52,584
There's an old legend they actually
walk across the desert to find water.
839
01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:56,421
When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late
watching them, to see if they'd move.
840
01:01:56,505 --> 01:02:00,592
I thought if I could follow them,
they'd lead me to some place wonderful.
841
01:02:00,676 --> 01:02:04,346
Some place with enough water
for everyone.
842
01:02:05,264 --> 01:02:09,810
Night after night, I watched them.
I never saw them move.
843
01:02:10,686 --> 01:02:11,812
But you're still watching.
844
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,940
Who doesn't want to find
some place wonderful?
845
01:02:15,691 --> 01:02:18,694
We'll find the water, Beans.
I promise you.
846
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:24,491
That's such a lonely sound.
847
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,286
You ever get lonely?
848
01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:28,787
Sometimes.
849
01:02:28,871 --> 01:02:33,375
I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer
and everyone likes you so much.
850
01:02:33,876 --> 01:02:36,879
- I never made friends easy like that.
- No?
851
01:02:37,671 --> 01:02:40,132
No, we're pretty isolated
out there on the ranch,
852
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:42,968
sort of like being sealed up
in a little box.
853
01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:46,471
Don't really see a lot of folks.
854
01:02:46,555 --> 01:02:48,807
I wouldn't know what that's like.
855
01:02:49,558 --> 01:02:52,185
There someone special
in your life, Rango?
856
01:02:52,728 --> 01:02:55,647
There used to be.
But she couldn't keep her head.
857
01:02:55,731 --> 01:02:57,733
Besides, my life's too dangerous
for that kind of thing.
858
01:02:57,858 --> 01:03:00,903
You know, it's an awful solitary
existence out there on the prairie.
859
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:03,238
Riding the ranges and the suchlike.
860
01:03:04,990 --> 01:03:06,241
Beans?
861
01:03:07,868 --> 01:03:09,161
Beans?
862
01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:30,349
I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna
whup you like a red-headed stepchild!
863
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,767
Choleric varmints, ain't they?
864
01:03:31,892 --> 01:03:34,853
Dysfunctional family. Need intervention.
865
01:03:35,938 --> 01:03:37,397
What's that coming?
866
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,901
It's the water.
867
01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:46,782
I have a plan, and each and every one
of you has a part to play.
868
01:03:46,907 --> 01:03:48,116
What do I do?
869
01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:50,035
Spoons, you got
the most important job of all.
870
01:03:50,285 --> 01:03:52,371
You stay up here on the ridge,
and if anything goes wrong,
871
01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:55,290
you give the signal.
872
01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:09,638
Hey, Beans.
What size dress you wearing?
873
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:12,391
- He got it!
- Hallelujah!
874
01:04:12,474 --> 01:04:14,142
- He found the water!
- You did it, son.
875
01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:15,310
Well, actually...
876
01:04:15,394 --> 01:04:18,230
Why can't you be all brainy
like your brother?
877
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:20,732
Pappy, about that water.
There's something I gots to tell you.
878
01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:22,651
Hush up, now. Somebody's coming.
879
01:04:25,112 --> 01:04:28,490
Good sirs, gracious good afternoon
to thee and thee and thee.
880
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:30,826
May I present Madame Lupone's
881
01:04:30,909 --> 01:04:33,328
Terpsichorean Troupe
of Travelling Thespians!
882
01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:37,332
- What is that?
- I think they's thespians.
883
01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:40,502
Thespians?
That's illegal in seven states!
884
01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:44,423
The stage is set. The princess
prepares to take her own life.
885
01:04:44,506 --> 01:04:46,133
I yearn for love.
886
01:04:47,092 --> 01:04:49,136
Meanwhile, the lone sentry
stands watch at the castle gate.
887
01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:52,931
Stands watch at the castle gate...
888
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,101
Hark! Who goes there?
889
01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:58,020
This plot is highly predictable.
890
01:04:58,103 --> 01:04:59,438
Quiet! This is my favourite part.
891
01:04:59,521 --> 01:05:02,190
Arriving to great fanfare
'twas her aged father,
892
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,654
strucketh by Cupid.
893
01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:12,034
Prithee, unhand my fair daughter
894
01:05:12,159 --> 01:05:13,827
and reach for the...
895
01:05:16,455 --> 01:05:17,998
- Line?
- "Reach for the sky!"
896
01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:22,127
What was that?
897
01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:24,212
Must be that immersive theatre.
898
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:25,547
We got you surrounded!
899
01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:29,551
You and your entire family get
your hands up where I can see them.
900
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:32,054
My entire family?
901
01:05:36,725 --> 01:05:40,979
Grits and spit and collard greens
902
01:05:41,063 --> 01:05:45,484
Waffle chitlins, monkey brains
903
01:05:45,567 --> 01:05:49,404
Refried bones and booger blood
904
01:05:49,488 --> 01:05:52,866
Pickled eggs and flaps of mud
905
01:05:56,203 --> 01:05:58,330
It's a full house.
906
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:01,708
Looks like we're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned standoff.
907
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,588
I'll have you know, you're not looking
at our entire contingent.
908
01:06:13,178 --> 01:06:15,597
What's that supposed to be?
909
01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:17,099
That's the signal.
910
01:06:17,224 --> 01:06:20,852
That's the signal!
Something must have gone wrong!
911
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:28,610
So something's supposed to happen?
912
01:06:28,735 --> 01:06:32,197
I am open to suggestions.
913
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,623
Run!
914
01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:49,047
Get on the wagon!
915
01:06:55,095 --> 01:06:57,806
Should we have ourselves
some sport, chill'ens?
916
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:00,725
I likes it when they run.
917
01:07:00,809 --> 01:07:03,812
Maybelle, give the holler!
918
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,736
Looks like we made it!
919
01:07:11,820 --> 01:07:13,321
That audience was quite responsive.
920
01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:16,283
Yeah, well, I think that
chromosome pool is about dried up.
921
01:07:43,518 --> 01:07:44,936
We got bats!
922
01:07:45,854 --> 01:07:47,647
Here! You drive.
923
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,033
Looks like there's gonna be
soup tonight!
924
01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:00,619
Come on, let's get some!
925
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:13,215
What in tarnation?
Don't shoot the water!
926
01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:16,801
Jedidiah! It's time for
the Alabama squeeze box!
927
01:08:16,885 --> 01:08:18,345
Okay, Pa!
928
01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:27,229
I am sensing hostility.
929
01:08:27,312 --> 01:08:28,521
Incoming!
930
01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:35,570
Hello!
931
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:36,863
Goodbye!
932
01:08:46,665 --> 01:08:49,042
Lasso that swine!
933
01:09:09,396 --> 01:09:11,273
I suggest we take evasive action!
934
01:09:11,356 --> 01:09:13,275
I suggest you shut up and shoot!
935
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,944
- What happened to the Sheriff?
- He had a previous engagement!
936
01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:18,738
Boseefus, give them some gumbo now!
937
01:09:25,412 --> 01:09:28,081
What was that? Go check it out!
938
01:09:29,374 --> 01:09:31,084
What is it? Is there a problem?
939
01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:34,921
You could call it that.
940
01:10:23,345 --> 01:10:24,471
Headache.
941
01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:29,267
Is that all you got?
942
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:49,371
That wasn't altogether unpleasant!
943
01:10:50,997 --> 01:10:52,040
Eat lead!
944
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,302
Here, hold these.
945
01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:16,856
Get your hands off me!
946
01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:23,363
Oh, I'm sorry.
947
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:33,248
Jump!
948
01:11:56,146 --> 01:11:57,730
It's impossible.
949
01:11:58,148 --> 01:12:01,067
It can't be. It's empty.
950
01:12:01,151 --> 01:12:02,861
There's no water!
951
01:12:02,944 --> 01:12:06,406
No water?
Then what the hell we been fighting for?
952
01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:10,743
Sir, you have defiled and desecrated
the very sustenance of our livelihood!
953
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:13,455
I think that there fella in the purty dress
is the Sheriff.
954
01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:16,124
That's the same fellow what give us
a prospecting permit?
955
01:12:16,249 --> 01:12:19,085
- A what?
- Irrelevant! Obfuscation.
956
01:12:19,169 --> 01:12:21,171
You and your kin are under arrest
for bank robbery
957
01:12:21,296 --> 01:12:23,298
and the murder
of our beloved financial advisor
958
01:12:23,423 --> 01:12:26,885
Johannes Merrimack the Third,
AKA, Fluffy Joe.
959
01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:28,553
Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody.
960
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:31,014
We done tunnelled into that vault,
but there weren't nothing in it.
961
01:12:31,139 --> 01:12:33,057
Somebody done robbed that bank
before we robbed it.
962
01:12:33,141 --> 01:12:34,893
Then where'd you get this here jug?
963
01:12:34,976 --> 01:12:36,978
That's what I been trying
to tell you, Pappy.
964
01:12:37,103 --> 01:12:38,271
I found it in the desert.
965
01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:41,608
Then why in tarnation
did you bring it here?
966
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:45,653
Hold on! You're saying this here jug
was empty when you found it?
967
01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:46,988
That's right.
968
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:48,406
I don't believe a word of it.
969
01:12:48,490 --> 01:12:50,033
- Let's hang them, Sheriff!
- String them up!
970
01:12:50,158 --> 01:12:51,618
Who'd dump water in the desert?
971
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:53,786
Wouldn't be the first time.
972
01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:57,040
It's a puzzle!
It's like a big old mammogram!
973
01:12:57,165 --> 01:12:59,000
What's going on, Sheriff?
974
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,460
I don't know.
975
01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:04,589
But I'm going to strip away this mystery
and expose its private parts.
976
01:13:04,672 --> 01:13:06,966
You and your kin are coming with me.
977
01:13:11,471 --> 01:13:12,680
They're coming!
978
01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,516
Here they come!
979
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:18,186
Looks like they got them robbers.
980
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,168
Where's the water?
981
01:13:45,213 --> 01:13:47,173
There weren't no water.
982
01:14:01,271 --> 01:14:03,022
Where is he going?
983
01:14:04,065 --> 01:14:06,568
He's going to see the Mayor.
984
01:14:08,695 --> 01:14:10,655
He's got to be pleased with that.
985
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:12,574
That's a good one, boss!
986
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:23,459
That's interesting.
987
01:14:23,585 --> 01:14:26,421
I do apologise for the shoes, Mr. Rango,
988
01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:29,841
but there's a certain protocol
to this game, you understand.
989
01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:32,260
I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol.
990
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:35,305
Well, that's good, 'cause you got
a few questions to answer
991
01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:37,724
and I've got my own protocol.
992
01:14:41,728 --> 01:14:44,606
But why would anyone dump water
in the blooming desert?
993
01:14:44,731 --> 01:14:48,735
It does seem a bit naïve, taking the word
of admitted bank robbers.
994
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:52,447
Besides, once they hang,
your job is done.
995
01:14:52,572 --> 01:14:54,032
- Bravo!
- Job well done.
996
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:57,076
But what if somebody did rob the bank
before they got there?
997
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,329
And who would do that, Mr. Rango?
998
01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:01,664
I was hoping you could tell me.
999
01:15:01,789 --> 01:15:04,751
That sounds marginally
near to an accusation.
1000
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,836
Take it any way you like.
1001
01:15:12,175 --> 01:15:15,803
Something you said keeps rattling
around in my frontal lobe.
1002
01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:17,096
What's that?
1003
01:15:17,764 --> 01:15:21,476
"Control the water
and you control everything."
1004
01:15:22,101 --> 01:15:24,145
Come now, Mr. Rango.
1005
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,148
You attribute divine power to me.
1006
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:30,443
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1007
01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:36,032
You've obviously mastered this game.
1008
01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:39,577
Well, I've been playing it
for many years, sir.
1009
01:15:39,661 --> 01:15:42,830
I was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1010
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:45,583
I watched the march of progress,
1011
01:15:45,667 --> 01:15:48,169
and I learned a thing or two.
1012
01:15:48,670 --> 01:15:51,839
Perhaps it's time you started
to take the long view,
1013
01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:55,802
begin to appreciate
the broad sweep of history.
1014
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:57,970
Look out there, son.
1015
01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:01,307
You can almost see time passing.
1016
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,604
What are you building out here?
1017
01:16:06,688 --> 01:16:10,024
The future, Mr. Rango, the future.
1018
01:16:10,149 --> 01:16:13,820
One day soon,
all this is going to fade into myth,
1019
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,739
the frontier town, the lawman,
the gunslinger.
1020
01:16:16,864 --> 01:16:19,242
There's just no place
for them any more.
1021
01:16:19,367 --> 01:16:22,662
- We're civilised now.
- That's right, civilised.
1022
01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:25,081
That's what the future holds.
1023
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:28,543
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1024
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:32,797
Is that what happened to
Mr. Merrimack? Did he get left behind?
1025
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:37,552
Careful, Mr. Rango. You seem to forget
you're just one little lizard.
1026
01:16:37,885 --> 01:16:41,723
You seem to forget
I'm the law around these parts.
1027
01:16:44,392 --> 01:16:47,478
Our new sheriff has been
playing the hero for so long,
1028
01:16:47,562 --> 01:16:49,981
he's actually starting to believe it.
1029
01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:52,525
Call in Rattlesnake Jake.
1030
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:55,278
But Jake's the Grim Reaper.
1031
01:16:55,403 --> 01:16:57,739
He never leaves
without taking a blooming soul.
1032
01:16:57,864 --> 01:16:59,073
Do it!
1033
01:17:13,588 --> 01:17:17,800
Now be still. You gotta look
presentable to meet your maker.
1034
01:17:23,598 --> 01:17:26,976
Death has arrived
1035
01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:35,818
How will the hero survive?
1036
01:17:39,614 --> 01:17:42,742
The Mayor has bought up
all the land in the valley,
1037
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:44,702
except for your ranch, Miss Beans.
1038
01:17:44,786 --> 01:17:48,623
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1039
01:17:48,748 --> 01:17:51,542
Unless he controls the water.
1040
01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:53,503
Like a monkey's bladder!
1041
01:17:53,628 --> 01:17:55,880
Then he could bring it back
once he's bought up all the land.
1042
01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:58,090
But how does he control the water?
1043
01:17:59,425 --> 01:18:02,553
Well, you gotta spend some time
and train them.
1044
01:18:02,637 --> 01:18:05,765
'Cause you know monkeys, when
they do go, you rub their nose in it.
1045
01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:07,975
Sheriff, we got a problem.
1046
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:18,110
Hold on, Beans.
That won't be necessary.
1047
01:18:21,656 --> 01:18:24,867
- Hang him till his head turns blue!
- Give us them robbers!
1048
01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:27,411
Hold on! Calm down, everyone!
Let me talk!
1049
01:18:27,495 --> 01:18:29,789
- Nail them to the courthouse!
- Now, calm down, everybody.
1050
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:32,542
Get them out here
so we can cut off their giblets!
1051
01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:34,752
You, too, Spoons?
1052
01:18:34,835 --> 01:18:38,214
They done taken that water.
They taken everything we got!
1053
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:41,300
No one's stringing anyone up.
Not while I'm sheriff.
1054
01:18:41,384 --> 01:18:42,635
But this is all his fault!
1055
01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:45,096
You said you's gonna
bring the water back.
1056
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,723
It's just, we got no hope
without that water.
1057
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,725
We got nothing left to believe in.
1058
01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:51,978
You see that sign up there?
1059
01:18:52,687 --> 01:18:54,897
As long as that sign says "Sheriff,"
1060
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:57,358
you can believe that there's
law and order in this town.
1061
01:18:57,483 --> 01:19:01,529
But without law and order,
ruminate on that. Oh, yeah.
1062
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:04,824
Starts out slow, like a fungus.
1063
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:07,577
Somebody says a cross word.
Accusations start flying.
1064
01:19:07,702 --> 01:19:10,496
Neighbour turns on neighbour.
Pretty soon, we're eating our children!
1065
01:19:10,580 --> 01:19:11,998
And then dogs and cats
are getting together
1066
01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:14,750
to create all sorts of unnatural
mutant aberrations!
1067
01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:19,380
So, you want something
to believe in, Spoons?
1068
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,048
Believe in me.
1069
01:19:22,592 --> 01:19:24,594
Believe in that there sign.
1070
01:19:25,553 --> 01:19:29,056
For as long as it hangs there,
we got hope.
1071
01:19:54,457 --> 01:19:56,917
Hello, brother.
1072
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,086
Thirsty?
1073
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:14,310
Long time, brother.
How you been keeping?
1074
01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,479
Well, you know...
1075
01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:23,235
I hear you been telling about how
you killed all them Jenkins brothers.
1076
01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:25,988
With one bullet, wasn't it?
1077
01:20:26,113 --> 01:20:27,990
Isn't that right?
1078
01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:32,328
All these good folks here
believe your little stories, don't they?
1079
01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:36,248
Why, they believe you're just
a stone killer, don't they?
1080
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:39,585
Seems these folks trust you.
1081
01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:42,755
They think you're gonna save
their little town.
1082
01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:46,342
They think you're gonna save
their little souls!
1083
01:20:50,346 --> 01:20:53,933
But we know better, don't we?
1084
01:20:59,480 --> 01:21:03,109
So why don't you show your friends here
what you're made of?
1085
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,028
Show them who you really are.
1086
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:09,156
Why don't you just pull your gun
and shoot me?
1087
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:12,159
But, of course, you won't need all these.
1088
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:14,203
Just one, right?
1089
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:19,959
Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger.
1090
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,381
You got killer in your eyes, son?
1091
01:21:27,675 --> 01:21:28,843
I don't see it.
1092
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:35,349
You didn't do any of them things
you said, did you?
1093
01:21:35,474 --> 01:21:39,478
You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers.
You ain't even from the West!
1094
01:21:39,562 --> 01:21:40,730
Are you?
1095
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:44,150
- Say it!
- No.
1096
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:48,362
Speak up.
I don't think your friends here heard you.
1097
01:21:49,989 --> 01:21:51,031
No.
1098
01:21:51,157 --> 01:21:53,659
All you've done is lie
to these good people.
1099
01:21:53,743 --> 01:21:57,997
You ain't nothing but a fake
and a coward. Isn't that right?
1100
01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,415
Yes.
1101
01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:01,250
- Louder!
- Yes.
1102
01:22:05,713 --> 01:22:08,883
Listen close, you pathetic fraud.
1103
01:22:09,008 --> 01:22:12,011
This is my town now.
1104
01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:16,557
If I ever see you again, I will take
your soul straight down to hell!
1105
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,075
Who are you?
1106
01:24:31,734 --> 01:24:33,193
Who am I?
1107
01:24:35,362 --> 01:24:37,072
I'm nobody.
1108
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:33,272
Golden guardians.
1109
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,817
The alabaster carriage.
1110
01:26:41,822 --> 01:26:44,324
The Spirit of the West.
1111
01:26:48,787 --> 01:26:52,666
Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir?
1112
01:26:55,169 --> 01:27:00,174
There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to
dig deep to find what you're looking for.
1113
01:27:01,842 --> 01:27:03,218
So you made it.
1114
01:27:04,178 --> 01:27:05,429
Is this heaven?
1115
01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:09,349
If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts
with Kim Novak.
1116
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:10,809
Yeah.
1117
01:27:10,976 --> 01:27:14,146
No kidding.
What are you doing out here?
1118
01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:16,523
Searching, same as you.
1119
01:27:17,483 --> 01:27:20,778
I don't even know
what I'm looking for any more.
1120
01:27:20,861 --> 01:27:22,821
I don't even know who I am.
1121
01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:25,866
They used to call you
the Man with No Name.
1122
01:27:27,201 --> 01:27:31,121
These days they got a name
for just about everything.
1123
01:27:31,205 --> 01:27:35,501
Doesn't matter what they call you.
It's the deeds make the man.
1124
01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:39,379
Yeah, but my deeds just made things
worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney!
1125
01:27:39,505 --> 01:27:43,383
My friends believed in me,
but they need some kind of hero.
1126
01:27:43,509 --> 01:27:45,177
Then be a hero.
1127
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:49,181
No. No, no, you don't understand.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
1128
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:53,519
That's right. You came a long way
to find something that isn't out here.
1129
01:27:54,561 --> 01:27:57,272
Don't you see? It's not about you.
1130
01:27:58,273 --> 01:27:59,858
It's about them.
1131
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:04,196
But I can't go back.
1132
01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:06,698
Don't know that you got a choice, son.
1133
01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:13,288
No man can walk out on his own story.
1134
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:27,469
So you made it.
1135
01:28:28,887 --> 01:28:32,766
That's right, amigo.
The other side of the road.
1136
01:28:35,227 --> 01:28:37,479
Did you just see that?
1137
01:28:37,896 --> 01:28:40,774
We each see what we need to see.
1138
01:28:41,775 --> 01:28:43,777
Beautiful, isn't it?
1139
01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:56,915
Yeah.
1140
01:28:58,000 --> 01:28:59,418
It is.
1141
01:28:59,960 --> 01:29:03,797
Come, my friend.
I want to show you something.
1142
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:12,097
Many years ago,
this entire valley was covered in agua.
1143
01:29:12,181 --> 01:29:16,143
Now only one question remains.
1144
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:18,937
Where did it go?
1145
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:55,974
They follow the water.
1146
01:29:56,058 --> 01:29:59,186
They follow the water! Come on!
1147
01:30:34,054 --> 01:30:38,684
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1148
01:30:39,393 --> 01:30:41,353
What are you building out here?
1149
01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,355
The future, Mr. Rango.
1150
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:48,026
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1151
01:30:50,404 --> 01:30:53,282
I was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1152
01:30:56,368 --> 01:30:58,954
I watched the march of progress
1153
01:30:59,079 --> 01:31:01,331
and I learned a thing or two.
1154
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,797
Control the water
1155
01:31:08,922 --> 01:31:11,300
and you control everything.
1156
01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:20,392
Come now, Mr. Rango.
1157
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:22,311
You attribute divine power to me.
1158
01:31:22,436 --> 01:31:24,980
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1159
01:32:01,892 --> 01:32:03,894
What now, amigo?
1160
01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:14,571
No man can walk out on his own story.
1161
01:32:16,156 --> 01:32:17,574
I'm going back.
1162
01:32:19,034 --> 01:32:20,410
But why?
1163
01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:23,538
Because that's who I am.
1164
01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:40,347
You got a lot of nerve showing up here,
lawman. What is it you want?
1165
01:32:41,390 --> 01:32:45,060
Your pappy and them boys are about
to hang for something they didn't do.
1166
01:32:46,520 --> 01:32:48,188
But I've got a plan.
1167
01:33:16,258 --> 01:33:19,094
I appreciate how difficult
this is for you, Beans.
1168
01:33:19,219 --> 01:33:22,180
But you're making a practical decision.
1169
01:33:22,264 --> 01:33:25,016
Decisions, decisions.
1170
01:33:25,100 --> 01:33:28,270
There's no need for any more suffering.
1171
01:33:34,776 --> 01:33:38,280
Your family's ranch is nothing
but a wasteland now.
1172
01:33:38,822 --> 01:33:43,577
Sign the deed and relieve yourself
of your father's burden.
1173
01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:48,457
My daddy was not a burden!
1174
01:33:48,582 --> 01:33:50,959
Keep your blood money
and I'll keep my land!
1175
01:33:57,090 --> 01:34:00,260
Do what he says or,
by all the fires of the black pit,
1176
01:34:00,343 --> 01:34:03,763
I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes
out of your skull!
1177
01:34:04,514 --> 01:34:06,725
Now, hold on, Jake.
There's no need to...
1178
01:34:06,808 --> 01:34:09,144
Let me do my job! You brought me in.
1179
01:34:09,269 --> 01:34:11,813
Now we're gonna play this thing
out to the end!
1180
01:34:12,606 --> 01:34:15,108
Sign the damn paper, woman!
1181
01:34:15,317 --> 01:34:17,110
Go to hell!
1182
01:34:17,277 --> 01:34:19,613
Where do you think I come from?
1183
01:34:20,197 --> 01:34:22,532
Look into my eyes.
1184
01:34:22,616 --> 01:34:24,993
I want to see you die.
1185
01:34:30,123 --> 01:34:31,333
Jake!
1186
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,671
I'm calling you out!
1187
01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:40,467
Jake!
1188
01:34:40,800 --> 01:34:45,180
This day
just got a little more interesting.
1189
01:35:12,415 --> 01:35:13,625
Put her down.
1190
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:17,337
Or what, little man?
You going to kill me?
1191
01:35:17,420 --> 01:35:19,339
That's just about the size of it.
1192
01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:24,636
- Get your filthy paws off me!
- Shut your gob!
1193
01:35:24,719 --> 01:35:27,889
All right, Sheriff, make your move.
1194
01:37:00,148 --> 01:37:01,650
Now, amigos!
1195
01:37:06,196 --> 01:37:08,865
- Heave! Heave!
- Heave! Heave!
1196
01:37:26,800 --> 01:37:29,052
That was a bad idea.
1197
01:37:33,473 --> 01:37:34,516
Thirsty, brother?
1198
01:37:38,228 --> 01:37:40,355
Here it comes!
1199
01:37:42,148 --> 01:37:43,191
No. No!
1200
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,822
It's a miracle!
1201
01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:50,365
Look out!
1202
01:37:57,497 --> 01:37:59,165
- Lookee there!
- What is that?
1203
01:38:01,084 --> 01:38:02,502
It's our salvation, Pa!
1204
01:38:02,585 --> 01:38:05,714
It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out!
1205
01:38:15,932 --> 01:38:20,019
I'm gonna blow so many holes in you,
your guts'll be leaking lead!
1206
01:38:20,103 --> 01:38:22,856
Well, then
it's a good thing I brought some backup.
1207
01:38:34,117 --> 01:38:35,201
What?
1208
01:38:38,955 --> 01:38:40,832
Ain't no hawk.
1209
01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:43,376
Ain't nothing but bats!
1210
01:38:45,545 --> 01:38:49,799
Stick to the plan, boys!
Let's bleed that devil dry!
1211
01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:03,396
It only takes one bullet.
1212
01:39:03,480 --> 01:39:05,607
You ain't got the nerve.
1213
01:39:06,775 --> 01:39:08,234
Try me.
1214
01:39:12,572 --> 01:39:14,240
Oh, Mr. Rango.
1215
01:39:14,908 --> 01:39:16,576
Aren't you forgetting something?
1216
01:39:21,831 --> 01:39:23,792
Hand me your gun, Sheriff.
1217
01:39:26,669 --> 01:39:28,463
Now, Mr. Rango.
1218
01:39:40,600 --> 01:39:42,936
Beans! Hold on.
Don't worry, I got a plan.
1219
01:39:43,853 --> 01:39:45,980
Help!
1220
01:39:46,105 --> 01:39:48,441
Open the door!
1221
01:39:49,025 --> 01:39:50,527
Okay, plan B.
1222
01:39:51,694 --> 01:39:52,821
Beans, you're mumbling.
1223
01:39:53,363 --> 01:39:57,534
All my problems taken care of
except for one.
1224
01:39:58,201 --> 01:39:59,327
It's a new West, Jake.
1225
01:39:59,452 --> 01:40:03,790
There's no room for gunslingers
any more. We're businessmen now.
1226
01:40:03,873 --> 01:40:05,625
Yeah, we got new hats.
1227
01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:09,337
Where I come from,
we call this improvisation.
1228
01:40:10,713 --> 01:40:12,465
You came back.
1229
01:40:20,682 --> 01:40:21,891
What was that?
1230
01:40:21,975 --> 01:40:24,561
No need to panic,
but I think you just swallowed plan B.
1231
01:40:24,686 --> 01:40:25,812
What?
1232
01:40:27,397 --> 01:40:28,940
Okay, panic time.
1233
01:40:29,023 --> 01:40:31,985
You and the Sheriff are more alike
than you think.
1234
01:40:32,068 --> 01:40:33,903
You're nothing but legends.
1235
01:40:33,987 --> 01:40:37,740
Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed.
1236
01:40:40,994 --> 01:40:43,580
One last bullet to kill one last outlaw.
1237
01:40:45,915 --> 01:40:47,667
How fitting.
1238
01:41:21,910 --> 01:41:24,078
Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together,
1239
01:41:24,203 --> 01:41:28,333
we can reach a mutually beneficial
solution to our current situation.
1240
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:30,710
You better take it up with him.
1241
01:41:41,930 --> 01:41:43,723
One bullet.
1242
01:41:45,099 --> 01:41:47,435
I tip my hat to you,
1243
01:41:47,560 --> 01:41:50,438
one legend to another.
1244
01:41:52,273 --> 01:41:54,484
What was that you said?
1245
01:41:54,567 --> 01:41:59,280
"Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed."
1246
01:41:59,447 --> 01:42:01,574
No, Jake! No!
1247
01:42:13,920 --> 01:42:15,296
Rango!
1248
01:42:16,756 --> 01:42:20,551
You brought the water back,
just like you promised.
1249
01:42:20,635 --> 01:42:22,303
You really are a hero.
1250
01:42:23,596 --> 01:42:26,766
Well, the thing about heroes is,
whenever you...
1251
01:42:26,849 --> 01:42:28,643
Don't spoil it.
1252
01:42:28,768 --> 01:42:29,978
Right.
1253
01:42:30,478 --> 01:42:33,773
Well, I don't know about you all,
but I could sure go for a dip.
1254
01:42:37,276 --> 01:42:40,196
And so the lizard completes his journey
1255
01:42:40,279 --> 01:42:44,325
from humble beginnings
to the legend we sing of today.
1256
01:42:44,450 --> 01:42:49,122
And although he is certain to die,
perhaps from a household accident,
1257
01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:52,250
which account
for 65% of all unnatural deaths,
1258
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:55,795
the people of the village
will honour his memory
1259
01:42:55,962 --> 01:42:59,132
even as they abandon their dignity.
1260
01:43:06,681 --> 01:43:09,058
- I'm going in.
- How about a cold one, there?
1261
01:43:09,142 --> 01:43:11,185
Water ain't money. Money is money.
1262
01:43:11,310 --> 01:43:13,896
- Well, I ain't got no...
- We're talking hard cash.
1263
01:43:14,522 --> 01:43:15,773
We have a problem.
1264
01:43:15,857 --> 01:43:18,526
Who let Snuggles in the pool again?
1265
01:43:18,651 --> 01:43:21,070
I really think you complete me.
1266
01:43:21,154 --> 01:43:23,364
Prithee, unhand my fair maiden.
1267
01:43:23,489 --> 01:43:26,576
- Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five.
- How can you keep missing your mark?
1268
01:43:26,659 --> 01:43:27,702
What's my motivation?
1269
01:43:29,537 --> 01:43:31,038
Oh, you kids.
1270
01:43:31,164 --> 01:43:32,999
What did you do that for?
1271
01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:35,543
I was just checking.
I hear if you get too sunburnt,
1272
01:43:35,668 --> 01:43:37,420
you can peel a man's face right off.
1273
01:43:37,503 --> 01:43:39,088
- What is it?
- That there's some human spleen.
1274
01:43:39,172 --> 01:43:40,256
Don't touch it.
1275
01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:41,924
That's the second time
that's happened to me.
1276
01:43:42,008 --> 01:43:43,593
This water thing's great.
1277
01:43:43,676 --> 01:43:45,178
I'm urinating right now.
1278
01:43:45,261 --> 01:43:48,389
Adult swim, next five minutes.
1279
01:43:48,514 --> 01:43:50,850
Stay between the buoys.
1280
01:43:50,933 --> 01:43:52,268
I packed your lunch. Danish is in there
1281
01:43:52,351 --> 01:43:54,061
and I picked the raisins out
just the way you like it.
1282
01:43:54,187 --> 01:43:56,189
Don't forget, your nasal spray is
in your saddle-bag...
1283
01:43:56,272 --> 01:43:57,899
- Beans!
- ...and your moisturising lotion...
1284
01:43:58,024 --> 01:44:00,234
- Now, Beans! We've talked about this.
- Lotion?
1285
01:44:00,359 --> 01:44:03,070
That's for my gun. That's gun lotion.
1286
01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:04,781
Sheriff, where are you headed?
1287
01:44:04,864 --> 01:44:07,784
There's trouble down a dry creek.
Bad Bill's been acting up again.
1288
01:44:07,867 --> 01:44:09,744
Now, honey, you come back
with all your digits.
1289
01:44:09,869 --> 01:44:11,204
And don't go trying to be a hero.
1290
01:44:11,287 --> 01:44:12,747
Beans, you are missing the point.
1291
01:44:12,872 --> 01:44:15,208
I got an image to protect now.
1292
01:44:16,292 --> 01:44:17,877
Where's my Tic Tacs?
1293
01:44:19,212 --> 01:44:21,130
- I found them.
- What's going on?
1294
01:44:21,214 --> 01:44:24,133
Well, in order to satisfy the needs
of the collective,
1295
01:44:24,217 --> 01:44:26,010
the hero must abandon the self
1296
01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:30,056
and solidify his image as an icon
that will forever be remembered.
1297
01:44:30,890 --> 01:44:33,267
So, this is the sunset shot.
1298
01:44:41,734 --> 01:44:43,778
Give them a good one, amigo.
1299
01:44:53,246 --> 01:44:54,789
Ready, Excelsior?
1300
01:44:55,081 --> 01:44:57,041
My fellow comrades.
1301
01:44:57,124 --> 01:44:59,794
There will be times
when you doubt yourself.
1302
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:03,089
When you feel pummelled
by the cataclysms of life,
1303
01:45:03,506 --> 01:45:07,051
remember this moment.
Remember me.
1304
01:45:07,593 --> 01:45:10,388
Know that I will be there watching you,
1305
01:45:10,596 --> 01:45:13,432
sometimes at inappropriate moments.
1306
01:45:13,724 --> 01:45:16,060
That's part of the deal.
1307
01:45:16,143 --> 01:45:19,605
And remember, within all of us resides
1308
01:45:19,939 --> 01:45:22,692
the true Spirit of the...
1309
01:45:25,611 --> 01:45:26,696
Let's take it from the top.