1 00:00:00,203 --> 00:00:02,504 Good news, wife. I've repaired the kitchen door. 2 00:00:02,505 --> 00:00:04,005 The raccoon will vex us no further. _ 3 00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:06,942 Oh, Silas, you are the most loving of husbands. 4 00:00:06,943 --> 00:00:08,343 I feel so safe when you're near. 5 00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:09,711 Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! 6 00:00:10,048 --> 00:00:10,879 - Ohhh! - Aah! 7 00:00:12,448 --> 00:00:14,883 Bad news, wife. It's the constable. 8 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,051 His throat has been slitteth. 9 00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:52,208 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 10 00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:55,257 _ 11 00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:57,242 You know, just because you used to be sheriff, 12 00:00:57,243 --> 00:00:58,305 doesn't mean you can just call me 13 00:00:58,306 --> 00:01:00,552 and I'll drive you places whenever you want. 14 00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:01,854 You think I like it, sister? 15 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,689 Let me ask ya a personal question. 16 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:06,876 What's with the "No alcohol in the squad car" policy? 17 00:01:06,877 --> 00:01:09,261 - When exactly did that start? - I don't know. 18 00:01:09,262 --> 00:01:11,173 Since the beginning of squad cars? 19 00:01:11,174 --> 00:01:13,665 You're out here, tryin' to nail drunk people. 20 00:01:13,666 --> 00:01:15,033 You wanna get 'em, you gotta be 'em. 21 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,034 You gotta 22 00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,870 Get right in their skin! 23 00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,919 What about your car? 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,943 Ah, you know how Denise likes to park it with the windows open? 25 00:01:22,944 --> 00:01:24,205 - It got stolen? - No, 26 00:01:24,206 --> 00:01:25,844 a couple of crows flew in there, 27 00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:26,830 made a nest, and, now, 28 00:01:26,831 --> 00:01:29,184 she won't let me drive it until the eggs hatch. 29 00:01:29,383 --> 00:01:32,831 Hey, you know a group of crows is called a murder? 30 00:01:32,832 --> 00:01:34,224 Yeah, well. 31 00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:35,454 Whoa! Whoa! 32 00:01:35,455 --> 00:01:36,289 Yeah, that's a close... 33 00:01:36,290 --> 00:01:37,290 Did you see that?! 34 00:01:42,295 --> 00:01:43,462 Book 'em, Danno. 35 00:01:48,039 --> 00:01:49,604 Know why I stopped you? 36 00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:51,350 'Cause I'm good-looking? 37 00:01:51,351 --> 00:01:52,602 You were speeding. 38 00:01:52,603 --> 00:01:53,609 Mm. My bad. 39 00:01:54,456 --> 00:01:56,798 If I'd known the sheriff was as pretty as you, 40 00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,635 I would've gone a lot faster, a lot sooner. 41 00:01:58,746 --> 00:01:59,363 Wow! 42 00:02:00,647 --> 00:02:02,714 Hey, I have an idea. Let's, uh, 43 00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:03,589 meet for drinks. 44 00:02:04,962 --> 00:02:06,362 I have an idea, too. 45 00:02:06,362 --> 00:02:08,197 But there'd be too many witnesses. 46 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:11,116 So that's a yes? 47 00:02:13,236 --> 00:02:14,636 Stan, you know that guy hit on me? 48 00:02:14,637 --> 00:02:16,438 I can't believe it! This is the third time 49 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:17,806 in a month! I'm sick of it. 50 00:02:17,807 --> 00:02:19,541 And I'm wearing a uniform, for God's sake. 51 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,143 Well, it's your own fault, you know? 52 00:02:21,144 --> 00:02:23,111 - My fault? - Clean hair, good gums, 53 00:02:23,112 --> 00:02:24,413 you're outside. 54 00:02:24,414 --> 00:02:26,148 You're sendin' all the signals. 55 00:02:26,149 --> 00:02:27,816 What?! No! 56 00:02:27,817 --> 00:02:29,051 You wanna hear something interesting? 57 00:02:29,052 --> 00:02:30,419 Back when I was sheriff, 58 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,287 not a single woman ever hit on me. 59 00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:34,656 - Would you like to know why? - I'm sure you'll tell me. 60 00:02:34,657 --> 00:02:36,725 Because I was wearin' a wedding ring. 61 00:02:36,726 --> 00:02:38,126 Not available. 62 00:02:38,127 --> 00:02:41,496 Los carne marquito es cerrado. 63 00:02:41,497 --> 00:02:43,498 Marquito is not a word. 64 00:02:58,482 --> 00:02:59,355 Hi, there. 65 00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,351 Do you have any wedding rings? 66 00:03:02,352 --> 00:03:04,019 Something to make me look married 67 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,954 or less unmarried, something like that? 68 00:03:05,955 --> 00:03:07,489 Isn't that something your fiancé 69 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,172 should be buying for you, dear? 70 00:03:09,173 --> 00:03:12,594 Yeah, no. He would be, if I had one, but I am divorced. 71 00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:13,369 Thank God. 72 00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,957 No, I just need to look married. 73 00:03:16,499 --> 00:03:17,599 I mean, 74 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,968 I get hit on constantly. 75 00:03:19,969 --> 00:03:22,204 I mean, you know what I'm talking about. 76 00:03:22,205 --> 00:03:24,557 You probably... I mean, when you were... 77 00:03:25,675 --> 00:03:27,009 So, do you have anything? 78 00:03:27,493 --> 00:03:28,885 I think I do. 79 00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:31,014 Awesome. 80 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,284 - This stone - Hey, there! 81 00:03:35,285 --> 00:03:38,453 Symbolizes the lifelong entwining of soulmates. 82 00:03:42,592 --> 00:03:45,093 I'm very bitter. How much? 83 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,262 Why don't you just take it, dear? 84 00:03:47,263 --> 00:03:50,000 I'm always happy to help the police. 85 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,500 No, I cou... I cou... 86 00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:52,834 - Seriously? - Mm-hmm. 87 00:03:52,835 --> 00:03:53,969 - Oh, you're gonna put it - Ooh! 88 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:56,505 - On me, wow. - Perfect fit. 89 00:03:56,506 --> 00:03:58,414 Wow. I guess it does. 90 00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:01,209 - Thanks again. - You're welcome. 91 00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:14,289 I have an idea. Let's, uh, 92 00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:15,557 meet for drinks. 93 00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:31,740 Do-o-o-n't! 94 00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:51,560 Yeah? 95 00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:53,028 Hey, Leon. 96 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:58,900 Really? 97 00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:00,335 Uh, okay. I'll be right there. 98 00:05:08,044 --> 00:05:09,277 Euuuwghhh. 99 00:05:09,278 --> 00:05:10,779 I waited for you to turn him over 100 00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:12,114 in case it's somebody I knew in high school 101 00:05:12,115 --> 00:05:13,682 and I hated 'em and start laughin'. 102 00:05:13,683 --> 00:05:16,551 - Thanks. Help me out. - Lift with your back. 103 00:05:16,552 --> 00:05:18,020 Oh! 104 00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:20,722 - Oh! - Huh. Nope. 105 00:05:21,144 --> 00:05:22,216 Oh, my God. 106 00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:24,926 I gave this guy a speeding ticket yesterday. 107 00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:26,395 Wow. 108 00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:28,196 You think that ticket was the final straw 109 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,232 in a miserable, empty existence 110 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,931 and he slit his own throat? 111 00:05:32,935 --> 00:05:34,469 Wouldn't want that on me. 112 00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:36,439 Uh, hand me the, uh, fingerprint kit. 113 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,315 - Evie. - Yeah? 114 00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:50,374 If I went and got some onion rings, would you want some? 115 00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:52,210 Ah! All right. 116 00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:54,596 We find the owner of these handprints, 117 00:05:54,597 --> 00:05:56,281 - we've got our killer. - Evie! 118 00:05:56,282 --> 00:05:58,827 - Yeah. - Onion rings? 119 00:05:58,828 --> 00:06:00,435 Yeah, sure. 120 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:12,947 Hahhhh... 121 00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,616 I need some money. 122 00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:21,415 - What's that smell? - Men, Sergeant. 123 00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,184 - Stan, I need to talk to you... - Ahh, zsh, zsh. 124 00:06:23,185 --> 00:06:24,552 I'm watching one of the greatest 125 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,320 motion pictures of the past 200 years. 126 00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,888 Little thing called "Ice Station Zebra," 127 00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:29,557 starring Rock Hudson. 128 00:06:29,558 --> 00:06:31,058 Now, that's a man's man. 129 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,560 Not like these actors today. 130 00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:35,162 You tell Rock Hudson to go on a juice cleanse, 131 00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:36,731 he'd eat a dog in front of ya. 132 00:06:36,732 --> 00:06:38,499 Okay. 133 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,022 Stan! 134 00:06:40,512 --> 00:06:42,384 I think I may have killed someone. 135 00:06:43,076 --> 00:06:44,844 You had me at "killed." 136 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,087 In my sleep. 137 00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:48,589 - Ahh, you ruined it. - This is serious! 138 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,279 All right, so, I have a dream 139 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,781 that I slit a guy's throat, right? 140 00:06:53,782 --> 00:06:56,177 It's just a dream. Sure. Fine. No problem. 141 00:06:56,178 --> 00:06:57,418 Today, 142 00:06:57,419 --> 00:06:58,441 that same guy 143 00:06:58,442 --> 00:07:00,488 shows up dead, on the sidewalk, 144 00:07:00,489 --> 00:07:01,355 with his throat slit! 145 00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:02,656 ♪ Cool! ♪ 146 00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:04,158 No, it's not cool! 147 00:07:04,159 --> 00:07:05,326 It's not cool that I'm killing people 148 00:07:05,327 --> 00:07:07,028 in my sleep! It's horrible! 149 00:07:07,029 --> 00:07:09,697 No, I meant this baby-crow blanket. 150 00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:11,332 Hahh. I'm gonna go take it out to the car, 151 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,434 to the mama crow. 152 00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:15,369 Ca-caw. Ca-caw ca-caw-caw! 153 00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,537 Stan, I don't know what to do. 154 00:07:16,538 --> 00:07:18,105 Do I arrest myself? 155 00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:19,607 I mean, how would that even work?! 156 00:07:19,608 --> 00:07:20,582 Take a load off. 157 00:07:21,843 --> 00:07:24,879 Do what I do when I'm facing a troubling situation: 158 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,547 (a) Do not think about it and 159 00:07:26,548 --> 00:07:27,915 (b) Go on about a case of brews. 160 00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:29,050 All the best. 161 00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:35,523 I got it. I got it. 162 00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:37,849 Excuse me, Sheriff. 163 00:07:38,406 --> 00:07:41,128 I need a restraining order. I don't even know you! 164 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,064 It's for my boyfriend. He's crazy. 165 00:07:43,065 --> 00:07:44,432 He threatened to beat up my dad because 166 00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:45,367 - You! - I do... 167 00:07:45,368 --> 00:07:46,801 God. 168 00:07:46,802 --> 00:07:48,803 Come on. Let's go. 169 00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:50,971 No, you hold your horses, mister! 170 00:07:50,972 --> 00:07:52,640 You let go of her, right now! 171 00:07:55,944 --> 00:07:56,714 Oh, yeah? 172 00:07:57,746 --> 00:07:59,146 You want a piece of me? 173 00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:01,282 You don't have to do this. He's a child. 174 00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:02,750 Oh, don't you worry. This won't be 175 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,087 the first child I've sent to the hospital. 176 00:08:50,332 --> 00:08:51,866 He's dead! 177 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,000 You killed him! 178 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:54,835 You saved me! 179 00:08:55,937 --> 00:08:57,648 - Mnh. - Mm! 180 00:08:58,492 --> 00:09:00,040 Mm! I want you. 181 00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:01,202 Mnh. 182 00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:03,724 Uh... No. 183 00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:05,779 Why don't you go freshen up 184 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,448 and I'm gonna draw a chalk outline 185 00:09:07,449 --> 00:09:09,194 around your boyfriend's corpse. 186 00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:11,719 No, not here. Not now. 187 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,988 I'm in mourning. 188 00:09:15,323 --> 00:09:16,658 Call me in an hour. 189 00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:20,728 I know, but I still haven't figured out... 190 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:23,063 Hey, what's up, Leon? 191 00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,965 - I just killed a guy. - What? 192 00:09:24,966 --> 00:09:27,168 We were fighting and he had a heart attack. 193 00:09:27,169 --> 00:09:29,036 He kicked my ass to death. 194 00:09:29,037 --> 00:09:31,005 Hey. Leon killed someone, too. 195 00:09:31,006 --> 00:09:31,854 That's him. 196 00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:33,474 Mr. Bandwagon. 197 00:09:33,475 --> 00:09:36,177 Wait. "Too"? Like "also" too? 198 00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:39,079 All right. I'm not totally sure, 199 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,149 but you know that guy whose throat got slit? 200 00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:43,584 I'm afraid I might've done it. 201 00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:45,719 You think this makes us closer? 202 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:46,987 - What?! - No, nothin'. 203 00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:48,656 I'm just saying. It's, you know, 204 00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:50,824 nice havin' a buddy who's on the same page. 205 00:09:50,825 --> 00:09:52,639 Great. 206 00:09:53,195 --> 00:09:54,895 Listen, I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. 207 00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:56,995 I mean, what if I kill again?! 208 00:09:57,505 --> 00:09:59,433 You'll be fine. Just don't kill me or Denise. 209 00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:01,068 Jiminy! 210 00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:05,072 Pregnancy hormones are like bath salts for crows. 211 00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:07,408 Make that just me. 212 00:10:07,409 --> 00:10:09,577 All right. Guys, I need someone 213 00:10:09,578 --> 00:10:10,578 to watch me tonight, to make sure 214 00:10:10,579 --> 00:10:11,589 I don't go to sleep. 215 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,514 Well, here, I'd love to do it, but, 216 00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:14,682 my ass and my chair 217 00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:16,416 are currently having a playdate. 218 00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:18,752 I'll do it, Evie. I mean, the pain in my face 219 00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:21,055 is gonna keep me up for days. 220 00:10:21,056 --> 00:10:22,189 I'll go pack. 221 00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,421 Wow-ow, 222 00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:28,429 everything really does happen for a reason. 223 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:33,061 Gosh, she's upbeat. 224 00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:38,670 Ewgh. 225 00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:42,202 - Ow! Ow! - Okay! 226 00:10:42,344 --> 00:10:43,410 Ow. 227 00:10:43,411 --> 00:10:44,778 Hey, if you want to 228 00:10:44,779 --> 00:10:46,614 pick the first movie, go right ahead. 229 00:10:46,615 --> 00:10:48,115 I've got it! 230 00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:52,786 The screen's black, then the words come up... 231 00:10:52,787 --> 00:10:54,788 "Welcome to General Cinemas." 232 00:10:57,292 --> 00:10:58,592 Then Dennis Hopper... 233 00:11:00,762 --> 00:11:02,229 Puts lipstick 234 00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,298 all over his lips. 235 00:11:04,299 --> 00:11:06,133 You know what? I'm gonna stop you. 236 00:11:06,134 --> 00:11:07,401 Hold that thought. 237 00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:08,569 I'm just gonna grab some coffee. 238 00:11:20,649 --> 00:11:22,249 Sorry about that. I just... 239 00:11:27,155 --> 00:11:27,992 Great. 240 00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:25,380 Oh. 241 00:12:29,284 --> 00:12:31,685 - Jello. - Oh, Stan! Thank God. 242 00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:34,121 Okay, listen up. I just saw it in my dream. 243 00:12:34,122 --> 00:12:35,389 There is someone in your house 244 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:36,790 and they're trying to kill you. 245 00:12:36,791 --> 00:12:37,858 And it's not me! 246 00:12:37,859 --> 00:12:39,009 Because I'm here! 247 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:41,061 And I have nicer hands. 248 00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,496 Yeah, I don't know what you drank, 249 00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:43,997 but it was too much. Good night. 250 00:12:43,998 --> 00:12:45,899 No, no, no. Wait! Stan, I'm serious! 251 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,468 Stan?! 252 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:50,596 Stan! 253 00:12:51,831 --> 00:12:52,675 Stan! 254 00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:56,176 Stan! 255 00:13:02,892 --> 00:13:04,694 What am I wearin'? I'm wearin' my work uniform. 256 00:13:05,095 --> 00:13:06,495 - What are you wearin'? - Hey. 257 00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:08,797 Look, I gotta go. Bye. 258 00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:11,300 Lab reports. Okay, good. 259 00:13:11,301 --> 00:13:13,168 The fingerprints on the jacket were not mine, 260 00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:15,437 which we already knew. 261 00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:17,439 But they don't match anything in the database, either. 262 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,043 Oh! They found a long, gray hair on the jacket. 263 00:13:21,044 --> 00:13:23,212 And guess what was on the end of that! 264 00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:24,713 Saltwater taffy. 265 00:13:24,714 --> 00:13:26,782 - What? - Paper clips. 266 00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:28,382 - No. - Chewin' tobacco. 267 00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:31,320 - Why am I letting you guess? - Motor oil! 268 00:13:31,321 --> 00:13:32,387 Why would you...? 269 00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:34,102 Necrotic flesh. 270 00:13:34,891 --> 00:13:36,191 Like from a dead person. 271 00:13:36,192 --> 00:13:37,726 Oh, so we're lookin' for a dead female 272 00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:39,494 who pushes people off of roofs 273 00:13:39,495 --> 00:13:41,815 and may, or may not, work at Jiffy Lube. 274 00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:43,966 What? No! Why? Why?! 275 00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:45,834 She'd be easy to find, if we had night-vision goggles 276 00:13:45,835 --> 00:13:47,869 and a helicopter, but not with our state budget. 277 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,472 It's all wasted on food banks and afterschool programs. 278 00:13:50,473 --> 00:13:52,274 Okay now, this is interesting. 279 00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:53,642 According to the autopsy report, 280 00:13:53,643 --> 00:13:55,310 the guy you killed? 281 00:13:55,311 --> 00:13:57,546 Had already been dead for a month. 282 00:13:57,547 --> 00:13:59,181 They exhumed his grave. It was empty. 283 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:01,174 I-I re-killed a dead guy? 284 00:14:01,551 --> 00:14:04,786 This is all starting to make some kind of horrible sense. 285 00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:06,521 I'm gonna check the county records to see 286 00:14:06,522 --> 00:14:09,391 if any sheriffs were killed by being pushed off a roof. 287 00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:10,980 I'm gonna call the state capital, 288 00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:13,328 see if I can shake loose some of that helicopter money. 289 00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:22,504 Helicopter department, please. 290 00:14:24,742 --> 00:14:25,875 Come on. 291 00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:35,684 Oh. 292 00:14:41,257 --> 00:14:42,090 Married. 293 00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:44,217 Seemed happy. 294 00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:47,362 God, socks were cheap back then. 295 00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:56,104 Clearly, it's the same ring, but, that still doesn't explain 296 00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:58,480 why I'm seeing through the eyes of a killer. 297 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:00,955 You see that woman? 298 00:15:01,544 --> 00:15:03,684 She looks just like my new girlfriend. 299 00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:05,847 You could even say she's a... 300 00:15:05,848 --> 00:15:07,052 dead ringer. 301 00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:10,886 - Mm. - You know, ring? 302 00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:12,220 Yeah, no, I got it. 303 00:15:12,221 --> 00:15:14,556 - Where does she live? - I don't know. 304 00:15:14,557 --> 00:15:16,291 But you're already calling her your girlfriend? 305 00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:18,960 See, this is the thing with you. You always rush into stuff. 306 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,096 No. Maybe I just go slow 307 00:15:21,097 --> 00:15:22,332 faster than you do. 308 00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:24,466 So the only other lead we have 309 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,524 is the old woman at the antique store. 310 00:15:26,869 --> 00:15:27,812 I'll drive. 311 00:15:28,871 --> 00:15:30,181 It's one street over. 312 00:15:30,773 --> 00:15:33,275 Oh, dear God. Activate... action pants! 313 00:15:34,944 --> 00:15:36,112 Lights and siren. 314 00:15:37,447 --> 00:15:38,914 I'm gonna meet you there. 315 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:46,655 Yeah, hey, Stan, it's me. 316 00:15:46,656 --> 00:15:48,056 Listen, I think we got a lead on those killings. 317 00:15:48,057 --> 00:15:49,424 I'm not sure where it's gonna go, but, 318 00:15:49,425 --> 00:15:50,826 I think it starts at the antique store, 319 00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:52,095 so, uh, meet us there. 320 00:15:59,602 --> 00:16:00,802 "Oh, 321 00:16:00,803 --> 00:16:02,804 you should just meet us there." 322 00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:04,238 Uh, yes, sir, miss. 323 00:16:04,807 --> 00:16:07,743 Jawohl, mein Commandant. 324 00:16:07,744 --> 00:16:10,011 You know what's the funniest thing? 325 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,482 Whenever I put that ring on, I've been seeing murders. 326 00:16:13,483 --> 00:16:15,350 Really? 327 00:16:15,351 --> 00:16:16,418 It's just a ring. 328 00:16:16,419 --> 00:16:18,086 Mm. It's the ring 329 00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:20,136 of a dead constable's wife. 330 00:16:20,823 --> 00:16:22,324 And that woman standing behind her? 331 00:16:22,325 --> 00:16:24,426 I totally tongue-darted her yesterday. 332 00:16:24,427 --> 00:16:25,927 Yeah, and, if you want to do it again, 333 00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:27,629 you'll shave that mustache. 334 00:16:27,630 --> 00:16:28,697 Say what? 335 00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:29,916 Ohh. 336 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,434 Yes, Sheriff 337 00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:36,364 we are one and the same. 338 00:16:36,639 --> 00:16:37,839 Years and years ago, 339 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,672 I was 340 00:16:39,588 --> 00:16:41,450 Constable Pruitt's mistress. 341 00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:44,179 He... promised to leave his wife for me 342 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:46,324 and, then, he didn't. 343 00:16:47,717 --> 00:16:49,868 I couldn't steal him, but, 344 00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:51,662 I could steal this. 345 00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:54,689 I wanted him dead, but I... 346 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:56,930 I couldn't bring myself to do it, of course. 347 00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:58,516 And then, 348 00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:02,396 Constable Eccles appeared to me. 349 00:17:02,899 --> 00:17:05,901 He said that, if I killed Pruitt, 350 00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:08,236 I would stay young and beautiful 351 00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,972 until I found myself a new sheriff to wed. 352 00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:14,843 And that... that grew tiresome. 353 00:17:14,844 --> 00:17:17,212 Heh. Very tiresome. 354 00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:19,381 And, eventually, 355 00:17:19,382 --> 00:17:20,644 I stopped looking. 356 00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:23,885 It's been almost 200 years. 357 00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:27,656 And then, 358 00:17:27,657 --> 00:17:29,558 you came in here, 359 00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:32,961 wanting a wedding ring, just to look married, 360 00:17:32,962 --> 00:17:35,315 just to keep men away. 361 00:17:37,467 --> 00:17:39,034 I wanted you to see what it's like 362 00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:41,236 for a woman who wanted marriage, 363 00:17:41,237 --> 00:17:42,689 and it was denied her. 364 00:17:44,674 --> 00:17:46,408 - Couple of things... - Yeah, I have a big question. 365 00:17:46,409 --> 00:17:48,009 - What? - What do you think of my mustache? 366 00:17:48,626 --> 00:17:49,911 That's your question? 367 00:17:49,912 --> 00:17:51,046 - Yeah. - I wanted to tell you... 368 00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:52,547 Oh. Oh. 369 00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:57,052 Listen to me. Either pipe down 370 00:17:57,053 --> 00:17:58,653 or I'm gonna throw a cat back there. 371 00:17:58,654 --> 00:18:00,755 How do you like that? Huh? 372 00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:02,924 Oh, for the love of... Stop. 373 00:18:04,494 --> 00:18:07,596 Oh, my God, the roof. 374 00:18:07,597 --> 00:18:09,431 Evie! 375 00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:12,000 Leon?! Where are you?! 376 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:13,535 Down! Here! 377 00:18:16,372 --> 00:18:17,772 Unhh! Damn it! 378 00:18:17,773 --> 00:18:21,076 Ah! Jesus, don't... peck the driver. 379 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,531 It's time to end this nightmare. 380 00:18:26,549 --> 00:18:28,622 Killing yourself is not the answer. 381 00:18:29,352 --> 00:18:30,958 I'm not gonna kill myself. 382 00:18:31,787 --> 00:18:33,455 I meant it's time to kill you. 383 00:18:34,632 --> 00:18:36,024 - That tracks. - Mm. 384 00:18:36,025 --> 00:18:39,294 ♪ La la la-la ♪ 385 00:18:47,069 --> 00:18:49,723 - Right here, dear. - Ahh! 386 00:18:50,573 --> 00:18:52,140 I got her, Evie. 387 00:18:52,141 --> 00:18:54,309 Even if I have to shoot through you to get her. 388 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,644 Okay, I don't think we're there yet. 389 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:58,647 In fact, 390 00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:00,215 Leon can marry you! 391 00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:02,150 - What?! - Shut up! You're doing it! 392 00:19:02,151 --> 00:19:03,585 Heh. 393 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:05,554 You always wanted to marry a... a constable. 394 00:19:05,555 --> 00:19:06,655 That's what you said. 395 00:19:06,656 --> 00:19:08,590 But he's only a deputy. 396 00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:10,325 At your age, you can't settle? 397 00:19:10,326 --> 00:19:11,793 I mean, I-I could even do the ceremony. 398 00:19:11,794 --> 00:19:13,228 Right here. Right now! 399 00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:15,330 But you just said I always rush into things! 400 00:19:15,331 --> 00:19:16,999 Read the room. 401 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,525 Are you kidding' me? 402 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,159 Ewww! 403 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,394 Ohh! That better not be your... 404 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,629 Oh. It's your foot. 405 00:19:25,385 --> 00:19:27,165 Okay, uh... Okay, do you...? 406 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,342 Priscilla Atherton. 407 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,133 Pretty name. Do you, Priscilla Atherton, 408 00:19:31,134 --> 00:19:32,467 take this man, Leon Drinkwater, 409 00:19:32,468 --> 00:19:33,968 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 410 00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,904 - I do. - Great. Do you, Leo... 411 00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:37,906 - Yeah. - Okay. Uh... 412 00:19:37,907 --> 00:19:40,193 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 413 00:19:40,658 --> 00:19:42,103 You may kiss the bride. 414 00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:47,715 Ooh! 415 00:19:47,716 --> 00:19:48,850 How do you think I feel? 416 00:19:48,851 --> 00:19:51,085 Ohhh. 417 00:19:51,086 --> 00:19:52,587 What is happening? 418 00:19:52,588 --> 00:19:54,422 Oh, that? Well. 419 00:19:54,423 --> 00:19:55,857 - Agh! - Constable Eccles 420 00:19:55,858 --> 00:19:57,759 only guaranteed you eternal youth and beauty 421 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,327 until you found yourself a new husband 422 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:00,895 - and, now, you have one. - N-No. 423 00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:02,230 I guess you'll have to go back to being 424 00:20:02,231 --> 00:20:03,531 a normal, everyday, 425 00:20:03,532 --> 00:20:06,901 - 200-year-old woman. - Noooooooooooooo! 426 00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,239 - Aggggghhhhh! - Aah! 427 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,042 Aaaah! 428 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:16,844 I'll... kill... you. 429 00:20:16,845 --> 00:20:19,013 - Ah! Oh! - What the hell's goin' on here? 430 00:20:19,014 --> 00:20:20,615 Aah! 431 00:20:20,616 --> 00:20:21,584 Ew! 432 00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:24,419 - Ohhh! - No. No-o-o. 433 00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:25,326 Ugh. 434 00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:26,187 Ah, 435 00:20:26,188 --> 00:20:28,022 well, everything's fine 'cause we found the murderer, 436 00:20:28,023 --> 00:20:29,602 but it's okay 'cause Leon married her. 437 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,925 Yeah, well, I just drove out here 438 00:20:30,926 --> 00:20:32,273 in a car full of crows. 439 00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:34,262 Didn't phase me. You know why? 440 00:20:34,263 --> 00:20:36,297 It's Nothing Bothers Stan Tuesday. 441 00:20:36,298 --> 00:20:41,769 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! 442 00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:42,804 I'm a widow? 443 00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:44,205 Oh, buck up there, Leon. 444 00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:45,539 There are plenty of other fish in the sea. 445 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:47,809 Maybe none quite so old as her, 446 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,444 but I don't judge. 447 00:20:49,445 --> 00:20:50,845 That's not true. I do judge. 448 00:20:50,846 --> 00:20:52,972 But not today. Everybody gets a pass. 449 00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:55,116 Seriously, Leon, you okay? 450 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,395 Yes, th-that was your idea, you know? 451 00:20:57,586 --> 00:20:59,854 - I know! - You think I was excited about tonight? 452 00:20:59,855 --> 00:21:01,723 Can you imagine what she looked like naked? 453 00:21:01,724 --> 00:21:03,057 Oh, I can. 454 00:21:03,058 --> 00:21:05,251 I bet she looked like a pile of peppers. 455 00:21:06,362 --> 00:21:08,296 Wow. Okay. I'm leaving. 456 00:21:08,297 --> 00:21:09,499 I have another one. 457 00:21:09,624 --> 00:21:12,367 I bet she looked like her own weight in raisins. 458 00:21:12,368 --> 00:21:14,235 - Goodbye! - A dolphin's blow hole, 459 00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:16,237 surrounded by chicken fat? 460 00:21:16,238 --> 00:21:17,238 Good night. 461 00:21:17,239 --> 00:21:18,273 Tough crowd.