1 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,920 GUARD: We close in 20 minutes. 2 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,436 MAN 1: Damn! 3 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:54,914 Thanks. 4 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,790 MAN 1: Aah! Gee. 5 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,640 MAN 2: Ooh. Ow! MAN1:Ow! 6 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,631 MAN2:Ow! MAN 1: Argh. 7 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,555 - Where the hell are these clowns? - It is a large garage, sir. 8 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,155 - We're over here! - Are you an idiot? 9 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:25,915 [CAR HORN HONKS] 10 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,640 PROCTOR: There they are. 11 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,274 Get down. 12 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,114 It's about time. 13 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,074 I've sucked up enough fumes to last me a lifetime. 14 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,873 Stand up! 15 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,390 What's with all this deep-throat crap? 16 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,911 Don't Iook at me. It wasn't my idea to meet here. It was his. 17 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,998 We shouldn't be seen together. 18 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,080 Just thinking of the safety factor of Operation Fiasco. 19 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,151 That's what I call this, sir. 20 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,676 I work with the village idiot. 21 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,873 - Do you guys have any idea... - Sir, your glasses! 22 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,794 Do you guys... Take off your glasses. 23 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,549 Do you guys have any idea how many police academies are in this state? 24 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,319 - Is this a trick question, sir? - No, this is not a trick question, sir. 25 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,239 - Two. - Wrong. 26 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,516 My sources have informed me that one of them is about to be terminated. 27 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,717 - Which one? - I don't know. 28 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,152 They haven't decided yet. 29 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,757 And that's where you two come in. 30 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:33,193 I need two good men that'll make sure Lassard's academy fails and not mine. 31 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,952 I need two good men that'll inform on Lassard's academy... 32 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,117 ...and tell me every move they make. 33 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,240 I need two good men that'll sell out their mothers to get ahead. 34 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,236 BOTH: That's us. - Good. 35 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,314 Can we go now? 36 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,033 We should split up. 37 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,960 Safety factor. We'll go first. 38 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,676 [CAR HORN HONKS] 39 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,751 [CAR HORN HONKING] 40 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,077 PROCTOR: Looks like it's closed, sir. 41 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,913 They Iocked us in. 42 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,439 [MAUSER GRUNTING] 43 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,798 The car! 44 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,237 [SCREAMING] 45 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,395 Proctor! 46 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,153 PROCTOR: No problem, sir! 47 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,240 I got it! Please! 48 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,318 - My car! - Please, stop! 49 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,955 [PROCTOR WHIMPERING] 50 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,198 [SCREAMING THEN CRASHING] 51 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,154 [HONKING] 52 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,270 My car. 53 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:56,758 [BAND PLAYING] 54 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,551 As governor of this great state of ours... 55 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,470 ...it fills me with pride to see these graduating police cadets. 56 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,517 I'm also sad to tell you... 57 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,157 ...that this is the last time we will be graduating two classes. 58 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,956 What? 59 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,916 It's time to tighten our belts. It's time to close one of the academies. 60 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,117 But in the spirit of fair play, which is the hallmark of my administration... 61 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,277 ...I have appointed a committee... 62 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,838 ...to evaluate and compare the two academies. 63 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,272 That way, their fate will rest in their own hands. 64 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,474 I am certain that both commandants will welcome such a challenge. 65 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,354 Got it! 66 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,315 Isn't that true, Comdt. Mauser and Comdt. Lassard? 67 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,911 Well, Comdt. Lassard, good luck, sir. 68 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,397 - May the better academy win. - We intend to, sir. 69 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,951 Don't be too sure, Comdt. Mauser. 70 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:22,757 We have many wonderful new recruits which we shall mold in my own image. 71 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,600 Promise me you'll do that, sir, please. 72 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,871 Sir. The committee. 73 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,674 Ladies, gentlemen, truly a pleasure. 74 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,476 Anyone need a ride, police escort? Don't hesitate to ask. 75 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,838 Oh. Governor, magnificent speech! 76 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,159 Bravo! I applaud you. 77 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,436 Whoo! Whoo! 78 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,193 Why beat around the bush, Mauser? 79 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,710 Just get down on your knees and kiss his ass. 80 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,152 I don't need any tactical advice from you, Callahan. 81 00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,760 Governor! 82 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,190 Governor. 83 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,797 I know you're a busy man, sir, but I've been doing a study... 84 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,515 ...on some training techniques I thought might interest you. 85 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,315 The Governor is in a hurry, Comdt. Mauser. 86 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,876 I could memo you on these, sir. 87 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,351 Governor, I speak for everyone when I say... 88 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,676 [GRUNTING] 89 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,834 Let me assure you, Governor... 90 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,356 ...Comdt. Mauser does not speak for this academy. 91 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:24,960 Governor, what I meant to say was... 92 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,674 [GRUNTING] 93 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,439 Get a hold of yourself, you idiot. You're making the Governor sick! 94 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,276 LASSARD: Well, Mauser. 95 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,075 You certainly made a lasting impression on the Governor. 96 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,637 The only impression that counts, sir, is in this file! 97 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,274 We'll see who's got an academy when this is over. 98 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,556 Proctor! 99 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,476 COPELAND: You have nothing to worry about, sir. 100 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,717 Right. Just leave everything to us. 101 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,638 We'll make Mauser eat those words. Let's go. 102 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,038 - Mahoney. JONES and CALLAHAN: Right. 103 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,793 Okay, come on now. Guys! 104 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,269 [MOUTHS] Girls. 105 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,393 Girls, of course, I'm sorry. All right, keep it up! Number one! 106 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,310 Take it on, drive it in here! Keep it alive. Take it in, drive in! 107 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,955 Keep your arms up! Take it! Take it on... 108 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,516 Try! Bring it back. Stop. Stop the playing! 109 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,714 Give me the ball. Gather around, girls. I want to talk about something. 110 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,832 I want you to remember from yesterday... 111 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,236 Come a little closer. All right. 112 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,791 Remember from yesterday, you pick and roll? Now, ready and break! 113 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,229 Number two. Keep it alive. 114 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,558 DISPATCHER: Police Academy to Sgt. Mahoney. Come in, please. 115 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,274 Sgt. Mahoney's office. 116 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,678 DISPATCHER: Get me Mahoney, and get your feet off the dashboard! 117 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,833 Good, take it along now. 118 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,996 - I'm sorry, Sergeant. I didn't mean to. MAHONEY: That's okay. My pleasure. 119 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:55,319 Sgt. Mahoney, I just heard, Comdt. Lassard needs help. 120 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,352 Lassard's in trouble? 121 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,909 KID 1: Give it back! 122 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:01,796 [CHUCKLES] 123 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,314 KID 2: Wait. Wait for me! 124 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,596 KID 3: Go, Mom! 125 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,594 [THIEF GRUNTING] 126 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,757 [THIEF SCREAMS] 127 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,759 DISPATCHER: Sgt. Hightower, come in. 128 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:13,950 Shit. 129 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,117 DISPATCHER: Hightower, get rid of the pantyhose... 130 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,993 ... and report to the academy immediately. 131 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,429 I'm on my way. 132 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,550 KIRKLAND: Eugene? 133 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,991 Hey, Eugene. 134 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,680 Tackleberry? 135 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,870 Come on out, Eugene. I give up. 136 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,876 You outdid yourself this time. 137 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,313 Olly, olly, oxen free? 138 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,512 [MOSQUITO BUZZING] 139 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,915 All right, come on, Tackleberry, I'm tired of this. 140 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,157 Quit fooling around in the backyard. 141 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,595 I'm serious. I got something to tell you. 142 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,916 [GUN COCKS] 143 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,517 All right, come on, Eugene. I'm getting pretty tired of this. 144 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,400 Come on, Eugene, I got an important message... 145 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,671 Good one, Tack. Really fooled me. 146 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,679 Mahoney called. He said Lassard needs help. 147 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,639 What a wonderful moment, my favorite graduates back. 148 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,159 The academy is facing its greatest challenge. 149 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,432 After many years... 150 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:36,112 ...of graduating many fine police officers, the State says... 151 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,194 ...it can no longer afford two police academies. 152 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,835 God knows what they did with all the money. 153 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,520 [GROANS] 154 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,757 We have a tradition to uphold... 155 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,794 ...a reputation to defend, and defend it, we will! 156 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,995 - Thank you, Mahoney. - Anytime, sir. 157 00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:00,317 With our new recruits and your help, I'm sure we can survive the competition. 158 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,272 There can only be one winner. 159 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,752 But also only one loser, which works out nicely. 160 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,598 I certainly hope we win. 161 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,235 Then I can retire with the same sense of dignity... 162 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,676 ...I have always brought to the academy. 163 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,150 Whoa! 164 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,990 Dismissed. 165 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,395 MRS. FACKLER: Get out of my way, or I'll start playing rough. 166 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,960 FACKLER: Don't do that. MRS. FACKLER: No, I will not! 167 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,800 You have the stupidest idea. Put down that suitcase. 168 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,794 - You are not going to that police academy. - Wrong! 169 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:32,756 Aah! 170 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,596 Finally, don't you think one policeman in this family is enough? 171 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,071 MRS. FACKLER: Stop it! I don't care what you say! 172 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,519 - Great, great. - Great. 173 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:46,834 Okay, listen. See, I just wanted to join the force to be with you. 174 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,191 I mean, we can ride together, we can wear matching uniforms, share ammo... 175 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,517 ...everything that makes a marriage work. 176 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,235 Honey, look. Listen to me, sweetheart. 177 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,399 - Police work, it's just so dangerous. - I don't care! 178 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,550 Oh, no. No, you don't! 179 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:04,796 [MRS. FACKLER SCREAMS] 180 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,640 You let go of me, mister, or face the consequences! 181 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,435 MRS. PECTELLI: Good morning, Facklers. - Hello, Mrs. Pectelli. 182 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,836 It is hell out there on those streets. 183 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,554 - All right. Okay. - Come on. 184 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,354 Sweetie, what? Come on. 185 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:23,598 We're adults. I know we can talk this thing out. 186 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,436 Exactly. I know you're smart enough to do that work. It's just that... 187 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:32,038 ...l'm the breadwinner in this family, and you're my lady, and your place is at home. 188 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,232 Right? Come on, give me a kiss. 189 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,837 What do you... Come on. 190 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,158 You think I can't break this down? Open it up, sweetie. 191 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,518 I'm a policeman. I'm trained for this kind of stuff, you know that? 192 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,396 All right, big joke. Open that door! Come on. You said we'd be adults. 193 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,990 [SIREN WAILING] 194 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,436 Hey! That's my... 195 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,072 - Do you want to kill me? - I have thought about it a couple of times. 196 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,192 Honey, stop it right now! I'm serious! 197 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,596 I don't care. I wanna go to the police academy. 198 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,595 Listen to reason, will you? Listen to me right now. You are not gonna... 199 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,395 - What are you doing? - I want you off this car now! 200 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,280 I just waxed this car. You'll get me into so much trouble. 201 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,557 [CAR HORN HONKING] 202 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,992 This is a city street, not a drag strip, thank you. 203 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,830 If you don't like it, you go around me! 204 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,954 [CAR HORNS HONKING] 205 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,079 MAN:with volume on the New York Stock Exchange as of this hour... 206 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:40,150 ... at 56 million shares in moderate trading, with the Dow Jones up 4 points at 1507. 207 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,398 The dollar is showing renewed strength against foreign currency... 208 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,273 ... gaining 10 percent against the pound... 209 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,711 ... on rumors of the Fed's dropping interest rates. 210 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,719 The uncertainty of interest rates is affecting the bond market. 211 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,877 Trading has been cautious and will remain... 212 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,079 This is not Le Mans! 213 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,954 [SIRENS WAILING] 214 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,790 [CAR HORN HONKING] 215 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,320 Porter. Redcap. 216 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,639 That's right. Could you help me with these, please? 217 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,197 That's right. Come on over here. 218 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,040 Thank you. That'll be fine, thank you. 219 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,829 [GLASS BREAKING] 220 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,635 Porter. 221 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,194 [RECRUITS LAUGHING AND YELLING] 222 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,871 Please, sit down. Please. 223 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,110 Um, uh, um... 224 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,396 [WHISTLE BLOWING] 225 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,077 Zip your lips, slap your butts to the seat and listen hard! 226 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,594 That's a lot better. 227 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,874 Let me be the first to welcome you to the fabulous Midcity Police Academy. 228 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,357 We're about to begin an incredible 14-week adventure in living. 229 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,677 I'm one of your hosts, Sgt. Carey Mahoney. 230 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,349 And as you exit the bus, please form a double line. 231 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,550 And march them! 232 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,991 [JONES BEAT-BOXING] 233 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,880 Who did that? 234 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,352 [IN GOOFY VOICE] Say, man, this place is crazy. 235 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,392 Suckers always making me dance and stuff. 236 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,439 What kind of place is this? I don't look like I'm gonna make it. 237 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,199 [IN DEEP VOICE] You'll make it just fine. Keep dancing. 238 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,715 MAUSER: Hmm. Good. 239 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,836 Good, tall. Good. 240 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,794 Good, strong. 241 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,154 Excuse me. 242 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,474 And who might you be? 243 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,630 Tomoko Nogata, of Tachikawa Nogatas. 244 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,872 "And is this your lovely wife?" 245 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,355 [GRUNTS] 246 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,994 - Proctor. - Yes, sir. 247 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,398 - What's the story here with Fu Manchu? - Fu Manchu. 248 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,195 I don't have a Fu Manchu. 249 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,915 I'm talking about the stir-fried shrimp from out of town! 250 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,918 He's with the Tachikawa Highway Patrol... 251 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,158 ...part of an international exchange program, here to study our methods. 252 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,113 I'm not teaching my cadets how to use a wok! 253 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,549 [GUFFAWS] 254 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,516 You ship him off to Lassard's. He'll fit in perfectly over there. 255 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,758 He could use a good sushi chef. 256 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,593 - No offense, eh? - Arigato, thank you. 257 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,280 Kiss my what? 258 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,633 Excuse me, sir. 259 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,157 - Ma'am! I'm a ma'am! - I'm sorry. 260 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,034 Those guns make it difficult to tell. 261 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,791 - Are you an instructor? - Affirmative. 262 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,116 Are you a new recruit? 263 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:26,030 - Yes, l... - She certainly is. But she's terribly shy. 264 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,398 Stand up straight, Sarah. And don't babble. 265 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,478 What will the instructor think? 266 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,797 - Now, just pay attention... - Stifle it! 267 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,276 Don't worry, Sarah. When we're finished with you... 268 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,790 ...you'll have nerves of steel, ice in your veins... 269 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,879 ...and a set of brass balls this big. 270 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,396 [WHISTLE BLOWING] 271 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,359 No favoritism here, Eugene. 272 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,359 Bud, here, he fouls up, you give him a good whack. 273 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,754 - Ha-ha-ha. Gotcha! - That was a good one. Pretty sneaky. 274 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,390 [LAUGHING] 275 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,398 Caught me off guard. 276 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,991 You take care of yourself, son. And pay attention to Eugene. 277 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,159 I'm proud of you. You're gonna make one hell of a cop. 278 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,000 Thanks, Dad. Would you give this to Mom for me? 279 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,559 Ha, ha. Don't forget to buckle up. 280 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,313 That was a good one. 281 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,959 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 282 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,236 MR. KIRKLAND: Sorry! 283 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,438 Boy, my dad and I have a terrific relationship. 284 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:34,713 [SIRENS WAILING] 285 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,349 [FACKLER SCREAMS] 286 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,914 [SIREN WAILING] 287 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:46,114 Does anybody know how to shut this thing off? It's driving me nuts! 288 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,036 Thanks. 289 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,272 Okay, that's $700. 290 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,915 - Plus tip. - Here you go. 291 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,916 Hey. Hey, Wait a minute. What is this? 292 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,277 What do you think you're giving me here? What, are you kidding? 293 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,915 I don't take any money with pictures of tuna fish on it. 294 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,158 Come on, American money. Let's go. $700, that's what you owe me. 295 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,431 Wait a minute. Excuse me. What's going on here? 296 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,077 - Not enough. He owes me $700, plus tip. - $700 for a cab ride? 297 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,193 - Where did you catch this cab, Yokohama? - Yokohama. 298 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,350 Excuse me. I'm officer Carey Mahoney. May I be of some assistance? 299 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,240 - Yes. This guy is trying to rip off this guy. - "Rip off." 300 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,996 - Read the meter. The meter don't lie. - Is this true? And who's your barber? 301 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,795 Look, wise guy, don't think a blue uniform scares me. 302 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,072 - No, sir, this is not a scary uniform. - No, it's not a scary uniform. 303 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,913 - Hightower! ADAMS: That's a scary uniform. 304 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,231 This man just said something about your mother. 305 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,160 He also charged this guy $700 for a cab ride. 306 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,955 - A rip-off. - Meters don't lie. Read the meter. 307 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,839 They don't lie. They never lie. 308 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,354 Meters don't lie. 309 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,915 This meter lied. It's a lying meter. 310 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,992 - Fair price. - And tip. 311 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,157 - What's your name, son? - Nogata. 312 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,033 - Nogata? New recruit? NOGATA: Yes. 313 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,391 - Right over there. - Thank you. Okay. 314 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,630 - Thanks, Hightower. - Okay, babe. 315 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,316 Excuse me. 316 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,274 That sordid little scene must have been trying on you, Miss... 317 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,550 Karen Adams. 318 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,595 You're Karen Adams? You're kidding. Aah, we're roomies! 319 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,395 I'll help you settle in. You'll take your clothes off... 320 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,273 ...we'll shower, get close... - I'm sorry. 321 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,871 I'm not here to get hit on by every guy who looks cute in a blue uniform. 322 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,072 I want to be a policewoman. 323 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,635 You will be! 324 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,720 We'll get together. We'll talk! I hope. 325 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,200 Oh. 326 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,680 Well, Mahoney, I see you still have very good taste. 327 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,155 Ha, ha. Thank you. 328 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,432 Nice bike! 329 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,073 Where do you put the batteries? Ha-ha-ha. 330 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,519 Get out of my way! 331 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,754 [LAUGHING] 332 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,714 [SCREAMING] 333 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,634 That didn't hurt! 334 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,072 Hi, was I going too fast? 335 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,278 [BIKE HORN HONKING] 336 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,749 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMS THEN GROANS] 337 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,559 Where do I go to register? 338 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,673 - Let's go. Kirkland, 46! - Yeah, all right. 339 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,315 - Fackler, where do you think you're going? - With him. 340 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,477 - Women downstairs! - Damn! 341 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,149 Move it! Let's go. Come on now, girls! 342 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:09,070 OFFICER 1: Move it. OFFICER 2: All right, Sweetchuck, let's go. 343 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:13,354 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 344 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,360 [BOTH SCREAMING] 345 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,994 ZED: Aah! CALLAHAN: Hey! 346 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,750 Oh, hi. 347 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,759 - What's your problem? - He's the problem. He's an animal. 348 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,156 Get used to it. He's your roommate. 349 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:33,910 - Aah! Roommate? - Zed's reformed. He's on our side now. 350 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,836 Yeah. I used to be a real jerk, but now I'm a people guy. 351 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,553 [DRUMMING] 352 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:50,276 ZED [SINGING]: It's tough to be a truck driver cowgirl 353 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,315 [ZED SCREAMING AND GROANING] 354 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,874 You're awake! 355 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,039 What kind of music do you like? You like salsa? You like reggae? 356 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,993 Something with that love beat? 357 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:06,077 This is a song I wrote, off my first album. And it goes something like this. 358 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,073 [SCREAMS] 359 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,834 When I was a baby I had no head 360 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,760 I couldn't get a job, I couldn't go to bed 361 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:17,080 It was originally a love ballad, but I kind of spruced it up. 362 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,636 [ZED SCREAMING] 363 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,594 No, I don't take requests. 364 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,116 All right, clowns... 365 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,438 ...I want you to police this entire area from here to the parade ground. 366 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:33,429 I want you to pick up every cigarette butt, every scrap of paper, every weed. 367 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,512 Now, we're gonna be watching from my window. 368 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,071 So if I see these flashlights stop moving, you're both in big trouble. 369 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,000 Big trouble. Now, get to work. 370 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,274 Let's go, Chad. 371 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,752 [SCREAMING] 372 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,230 - Mr. Zed. - No school. 373 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,909 - Mr. Zed. - What? 374 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:07,397 - Are you sure this is gonna work? - Of course it's gonna work. 375 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,394 It's working. 376 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,798 CADETS: Hup, two, three, four. 377 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,871 As you can see, sir, I have instant access over all my cadets... 378 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,958 ...and all of the instructors. 379 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,517 Attention! Give me 20 pushups, now! 380 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,873 [PROCTOR and MAUSER LAUGHING] 381 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,992 There's no escaping the camera's eye, sir. 382 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,153 As you could see, I can monitor the gym, the classrooms... 383 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,794 The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show? 384 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,158 Oh. Good! This is the episode where Natasha and Boris have Rocky... 385 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,317 It's an old one, though. I've seen it. Rerun. 386 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,955 We have a few bugs to be worked out, sir... 387 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,391 ...but I'm sure you'll tell the evaluation committee... 388 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,319 ...about the wonderful work we're doing in... 389 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:59,514 Ah-ah-ah. You're chapping your lips on the wrong butt, Mr. Mauser. 390 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,993 I have no say with the evaluation committee. 391 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,116 Besides, I want both academies to look good. 392 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,472 Oh, so do I, sir. So do I. 393 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,673 And when may the committee be coming by, sir? 394 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,394 The committee is spending the rest of the week at Lassard's academy. 395 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:23,117 Next week, the Governor has them snooping around the downtown precincts. 396 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,039 So that gives you... 397 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,319 ...a couple of weeks to perfect your ass-kissing. 398 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,874 That's plenty of time, sir. 399 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,959 Hi. 400 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,356 - two and three. 401 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,789 Ah, Callahan, there you are. 402 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,799 We have to talk to you about this evaluation thing. 403 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,719 I'll see you at my... 404 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,914 [WATER SPLASHING] 405 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,194 And four! And one, and two, and three! 406 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,757 OFFICER: Close there. Whoo! 407 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,638 HOOKS: Not only must you know all traffic laws... 408 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,151 ...you must also master high-speed driving. 409 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,554 Now, we'll begin today with a leisurely spin around the course. 410 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,436 [ENGINE RUNNING] 411 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,159 [TIRES SCREECHING] 412 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,113 MAN: Hey. Watch where you're going, lady! 413 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,154 [ENGINE RUNNING] 414 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,789 [TIRES SCREECHING] 415 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,716 [JONES MIMICKING ENGINE RUNNING THEN TIRES SCREECHING] 416 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,759 [MIMICKING DOG WHIMPERING] 417 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,031 Okay, you can start the car now. 418 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,960 But if I hear any of those things, you've failed. 419 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,278 Oops. Wrong key. I'll be right back. 420 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,039 That's no problem. 421 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,034 [ENGINE STARTING] 422 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,959 [SCREAMS] 423 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,433 Very often in the field... 424 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,916 ...the dog can be your best friend. 425 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,874 Your most faithful partner. 426 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:31,158 Oh, I love dogs, and they love me. Hi, boy, hi. 427 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,878 [GASPS] 428 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,152 First... out. 429 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,596 Thanks. 430 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,231 It is important to develop the master-dog relationship. 431 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,518 If you show any fear... 432 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,311 ...the dog will not respect you. 433 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:50,760 - Sweetchuck. - Me? 434 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,759 - Order the dogs to sit. - They won't listen to me. 435 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,792 They will. Come on, try. 436 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:58,875 Go on, have a seat. 437 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,355 [ALL GASPS] 438 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,400 You've got to show them who's boss. 439 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,635 Sit! 440 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,595 Ha! 441 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,233 At this time... 442 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,633 ...I would like to introduce to all of you... 443 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,880 ...my instructor, the man who taught me how to fight. 444 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,236 Please welcome, if you will... 445 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,952 ...Sgt. John Hurney. 446 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,837 Now, can I have a volunteer? 447 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,830 Can I have a volunteer? Very good, Nogata. 448 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,992 I don't believe it. 449 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:50,950 [AS DONALD DUCK] Oh, boy! 450 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,714 [LAUGHS] 451 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,116 He's great! 452 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,358 [GRUNTS THEN LAUGHS] 453 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,119 [CLEARS THROAT] 454 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,111 You, uh, have impressive moves for a cadet. 455 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,949 Thank you. 456 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:23,074 You see, it's a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom. 457 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,839 Interesting theory. 458 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,550 I said bosom, not sword. 459 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,035 Sounds like a common mistake. 460 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:42,110 No. I mean no disrespect. It's just that she's so... 461 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,838 Wow. 462 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,799 Wow. What a woman! 463 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:48,430 [WHISTLES] 464 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:49,994 Hit the showers! 465 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,113 See what I mean? 466 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,195 TRAINER: Let's go, let's go, let's go. 467 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,076 Ugh! 468 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,954 Miss Macho. 469 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,556 All right, men, it's 2200. 470 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,198 Time to hit the sack. 471 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,240 Let's go. 472 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,392 MAN [ON TV]: You're dead meat, copper! 473 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,439 Let's move it! 474 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,275 - What time is it? - 3 in the morning. 475 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,035 [ALARM BLARING] 476 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,039 All right, everybody! Everybody up! Let's go! 477 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,034 Outside! 478 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:04,960 Let's go! 479 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,119 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 480 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,514 BLANKS: Come on, you sludge buckets. If I can keep up this pace, so can you. 481 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,400 Let's go, maggots. 482 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:24,516 A good cop is always prepared. A good cop knows the city streets. 483 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,231 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 484 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,160 - Are you gonna be all right, Hedges? NOGATA: He'll be okay. 485 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,319 - Can I help you with anything? NOGATA: No, we're here now. 486 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,952 - Bye, Hedges. - I'll have to be fed intravenously. 487 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,834 Just lie down. 488 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,434 [SCREAMING] 489 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:52,920 What is this? 490 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,840 It's my bed. I pick up in New Delhi. 491 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,078 Posture-o-pedic. Very good for back. 492 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,720 [SWEETCHUCK SCATTING] 493 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,637 Hello? Hello? 494 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,600 Who is that? 495 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,672 What...? Who is it? Don't... 496 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,951 [SCREAMING] 497 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,280 Do you want to, like, borrow my shampoo? 498 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,638 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING] 499 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,630 [GASPS] 500 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,230 Freeze! Identify yourself. 501 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:36,794 It's me, Mr. Sweetchuck. 502 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,118 You look like a man who's going AWOL to me, mister. 503 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,870 Yeah, I am. I'm tired of having a roommate that's an animal! 504 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,760 I was happier when I was at home getting mugged! 505 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,198 You look me in the eye and tell me you're quitting! 506 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:52,909 Hey. 507 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,351 Don't worry. I'll take care of you. 508 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,038 You give me a chance... 509 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,637 ...and I'll make you into a man. 510 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,632 Even if it kills you. 511 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,792 [FLY BUZZING] 512 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,996 Feel good? Let's go. 513 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:18,955 Sergeant. 514 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,191 A good kick may be all that stands... 515 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,154 ...between you and the excruciating pain... 516 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,354 ...of a.357 magnum slug shredding your vital organs. 517 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,312 Fackler! You're up. 518 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:51,680 Yay. 519 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,519 [GROANS] 520 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,635 CALLAHAN: Kirkland! 521 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,394 [CLICKING] 522 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,035 CALLAHAN: Zed! 523 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,311 [SCREAMING] 524 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,356 CALLAHAN: Sweetchuck! - Sweetchuck, what's the word? 525 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,960 - Kill. - Let me hear it again. 526 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:25,913 - Kill. - Now go for it! 527 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:29,234 [YELLS] 528 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,479 [THUDDING] 529 00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,591 MAUSER: Whose bright idea was it to meet here? 530 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,632 It was my bright idea. 531 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,073 This is some beautiful view, isn't it, sir? 532 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,470 The twinkling lights of the city, stars in the heavens... 533 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,399 ...the moon in the sky. 534 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,635 And Mr. Sandman flying from rooftop to rooftop. 535 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:53,956 Where? 536 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,038 What the hell is that? 537 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,637 Give me this damn thing. Well, how'd it go? 538 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,111 The committee knew right away we were hopeless. 539 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,356 Good. 540 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,153 Now, I want you guys to take the cadets downtown... 541 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:08,396 ...for some fieldwork. 542 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,111 We can't do that. Cadets don't go into the field till after their tenth week. 543 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,870 - They're not ready for anything like that. - I know that, you moron. 544 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:20,791 That's the whole idea. Next week, the evaluation committee is gonna be there. 545 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,959 - Oh, I get it, sir. - I doubt it. 546 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,396 Heh. Sorry, sir. 547 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,239 I'm gonna be there when Lassard's guys screw up. 548 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,433 You guys make sure they screw up. Get it? 549 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:34,630 - Yes, sir. MAUSER: Get it? 550 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,876 - Yeah. - Good. 551 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,553 [CROWD YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 552 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,199 Punch him! Punch him! 553 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,520 One, two, three, four. 554 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,957 [BELL RINGS] 555 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,320 That's great. He's looking tired. Good. 556 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,352 Your legs are rubbery. 557 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,713 - Knock him out. Let me hear you say it. - Knock him out. 558 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,354 [BELL RINGS AND ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 559 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,275 Come on, come on! 560 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,475 [ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 561 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:47,830 What are you doing? 562 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,670 That's not the way I taught you to hit. You gotta hit like this. Like this! 563 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,394 Now, hit him! 564 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,557 [CHEERING] 565 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:57,796 [YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 566 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,956 [BOOING AND BELL RINGING] 567 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,391 [BELL CONTINUES RINGING] 568 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,357 [BELL CONTINUES RINGING] 569 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:22,116 The eyewitness is still the main source of convictions. 570 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,714 Mr. Miller, I want you to take your time. Study these men very carefully. 571 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,913 Then tell us if you see the man who robbed your store. 572 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,833 Let me reassure you, Mr. Miller... 573 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,317 ...the suspects cannot see you when it's dark in here. 574 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,596 Well, Mr. Miller? Is he there? 575 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,800 MILLER: You sure they can't see me? 576 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,231 My wife said they'd see me, and not to do this. 577 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,274 OFFICER: Mr. Miller, bright lights in there... 578 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,269 ...dark in here. He can't see us. Do you see him? 579 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,917 Bringing cadets into the field this early... 580 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,396 ...has all the makings of one of your Iousy ideas. 581 00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,996 What's the matter, Mahoney? No faith in the cadets? 582 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,590 How hard can it be, Miller? Is he there or isn't he? 583 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,157 I don't know. He really didn't steal that much. 584 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,200 Well, the hospital stay was quite restful. 585 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:11,279 I wish I'd listened to my wife. 586 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,520 For God's sake, Miller, will you take your balls out of your wife's purse... 587 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:17,552 ...and finger the dirtbag? 588 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,349 It's him! 589 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,312 - Come on, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you! - No, it's him. 590 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,273 He's the one, the priest. 591 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,631 [MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY] 592 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:32,279 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 593 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,678 Sir, honestly, we had no idea the evaluation committee would be here. 594 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:37,872 We thought it would help advance the training. 595 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,993 - What do you mean, we? - It was a lousy idea. 596 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:45,433 Now I've got a bunch trainees hanging around with this damn committee! 597 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,951 I've been, like, noticing you, and you're a nice enough lady... 598 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:51,958 ...but you're too tense. 599 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,635 You got to relax. You got to calm down. 600 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,755 [YELLING] 601 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,553 You take the big guy, I'll take the little guy. 602 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,394 MAN 1: We got a cop. 603 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,913 [CHEERING] 604 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,590 No sweat. This is my old gang. 605 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,154 [ALL SCREAMING] 606 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,320 Would you like to go out to grab a burger and then go to the movies or something? 607 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,116 I'd like to introduce you guys to the future Mrs. Zed! 608 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,192 [ALL SCREAMING] 609 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,636 [BOY COUGHING] 610 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,030 Hey, son. 611 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,917 - Excuse me, officer. - Yes, ma'am? 612 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,510 We are sitting in the nonsmoking section... 613 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:02,356 ...and that man refuses to put out his cigar. 614 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,516 I'll take care of this, ma'am. 615 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,712 Excuse me, sir. 616 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:13,393 You're sitting in a nonsmoking area. Would you please extinguish that cigar? 617 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,717 Drop dead. I'll put it out when I'm finished. 618 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,116 You'll put it out now, mister! 619 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:29,996 [INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO] 620 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,310 HOOKS: Hit it! 621 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:36,840 Now, go get him! 622 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:43,230 [SIREN WAILING] 623 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,670 - Hurry up! - I'm trying. I'm going as fast... 624 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,870 HOOKS: Drive! MRS. FACKLER: Aah! 625 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,275 [SCREAMING] 626 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,314 [SCREAMING] 627 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:05,715 [CRASHING AND GLASS BREAKING] 628 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,196 MRS. FACKLER: Will this count against us, sir? 629 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:23,319 You know, I've been here at the academy many wonderful years... 630 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,438 ...and I'm very fond of it. 631 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,229 - The new cadets are doing well? JONES and CALLAHAN: Yes, sir. 632 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,520 - We are going to succeed now, aren't we? JONES and CALLAHAN: Yes, sir. 633 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,752 Good. Good, good. 634 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,317 [CASH REGISTER BEEPING] 635 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,753 [JONES MIMICKING BEEPING] 636 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,711 [CASH REGISTER BEEPING] 637 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,358 [JONES MIMICKING BEEPING] 638 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,836 [JONES MIMICKING ALARM] 639 00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:00,793 One more ping out of you, Jonesey, I'll tape your lips permanently together. 640 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,190 [JONES BEEPING] 641 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,993 Hey, Jon... 642 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,873 [ALL LAUGHING] 643 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,673 MAHONEY: Listen, everybody. 644 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,191 I want you to forget today. You don't have to be ready for the field yet. 645 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:14,035 - We sure proved that. - It wasn't a total loss. 646 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:15,879 Of course it wasn't. 647 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,993 One police car and two civilian cars completely totaled... 648 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:20,674 ...three citizens' complaints... 649 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,430 ...two members of the evaluation committee under heavy sedation. 650 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,314 I wouldn't call it a total Ioss, would you? No. 651 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,831 Bartender, how about some champagne for me and my associate? 652 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,549 We're celebrating. Come on, Proctor. 653 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,396 - Let's just get out of here. - No. 654 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,910 [JONES BEEPING] 655 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,836 Boy, that's a waste of champagne, sir. 656 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,350 Now, what is that crack supposed to mean, Mahoney? 657 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,389 It means we don't think you can tell the difference between beer and champagne. 658 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,432 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 659 00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,711 You know something? You two are brain dead. 660 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,991 Oh. Bet you can't. Loser pays. 661 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,912 - You're on, Mahoney. - Can I have a beer in the same glass? 662 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,038 - Mind if we blindfold you, sir? - Why? 663 00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:10,118 - We wouldn't want you to peek. - Right. 664 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,471 - See anything? Huh? - No. 665 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:13,909 - Sure? - No, I can't see. 666 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,238 Okay. Round and round and guess the drink. 667 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,398 - Champagne! - Oh! 668 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,313 You win! He always wins! 669 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:29,755 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 670 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,600 All right, we'll pay up. Let's get out of here. 671 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,679 - You two jerks. - You really showed them, sir. 672 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,838 - Proctor. - Yes, sir? 673 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,955 Oh. Give me a hand with this. Take it off. 674 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,833 No, don't go slow. Go fast, so it doesn't hurt. 675 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,629 [MAUSER SCREAMS] 676 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,639 That hurt. Am I okay? 677 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,674 It's nice. There's a mirror right here, sir. 678 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,713 I got no eyebrows. 679 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,639 - Where are my eyebrows? - Right here, sir. 680 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,514 - This is going very well. MAUSER: Yeah? 681 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,071 Oh, yeah. That's great. It's coming. 682 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,118 That's great. That's nice. You're gonna like that, sir. 683 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,430 Let me see it. 684 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,033 Look at that. Look at this, this angle over here, every angle. 685 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,397 MAUSER: I can't see it! - It's yours. 686 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:29,874 [CLEARS THROAT] 687 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:32,589 So, what do you think, sir? 688 00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:34,595 I think I like it. 689 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,390 LASSARD: Commissioner Hurst was very upset. 690 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,954 He used many bad words to describe our academy. 691 00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,560 Some were even foreign. 692 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,599 Italian or Irish, I think. 693 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,194 This is survival of the fittest... 694 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,835 ...and after what happened downtown... 695 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,474 ...it seems we're not very fit. 696 00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:59,754 - Sir, you're not giving up, are you? - Of course not. 697 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,919 I have no doubt we shall be victorious. 698 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:08,590 Well, I have a little doubt, but, basically, I'm an optimist. 699 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,919 Now, I know the committee will be observing us here... 700 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,320 ...and in the field, and at the Policepersons Ball... 701 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,071 ...so we must do nothing to dishonor the uniform. 702 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,355 - What was I saying? ALL [IN UNISON]: Dismissed! 703 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:29,676 Right. 704 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,713 HOOKS: This map will pinpoint trouble spots... 705 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,310 ...over a 10-square-mile area. 706 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,949 This dispatch unit has a 200-mile range... 707 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,357 ...and a computerized city grid. 708 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,315 This computerized city grid tracks police vehicle movement. 709 00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,880 - Is that clear, everyone? ALL: Yes, ma'am! 710 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,554 Yeah, why not? 711 00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,514 HIGHTOWER: In tear gas training... 712 00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:01,030 ...the manual says you should have your mask on. 713 00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:05,234 Be out of here 30 seconds after the canister comes through the window. 714 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:06,874 Any questions? 715 00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:09,760 Good luck. 716 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,878 - Nice throw, Hightower. - It went in, didn't it? 717 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,753 All right, everybody out! 718 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,595 Everybody present and accounted for? 719 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,752 [ZED SCREAMS] 720 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,357 I feel good. I'll be in there if you need me. 721 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,438 [ZED SCREAMING] 722 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,556 [ZED CONTINUES SCREAMING] 723 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,839 Look, I know you people have had a tough week... 724 00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,157 ...but there's something you should know. 725 00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,512 You may be the last class to attend this academy. 726 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,880 I don't know if this means anything to you, but it sure does to us. 727 00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:09,116 That's why, we not only want you to keep up the good work... 728 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,953 ...we want you to work harder. 729 00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:12,958 Because we think that you people... 730 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,317 ...can be the best class this academy has ever seen. 731 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,512 You can do it. Believe me. 732 00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:19,632 Once, even I was a screw-up. 733 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,557 Let's go out there and win one for Comdt. Lassard, okay? 734 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,877 Okay? Yeah, come on. 735 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,355 CADET 1: Okay. Yeah. 736 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,513 Attention! 737 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:33,709 Dismissed. 738 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,434 Did you hear that? 739 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,718 No? Of course not. How silly of me to ask. 740 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,151 You're too far from the window. 741 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,599 - Look sharp, Mahoney. - Right. 742 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,200 - Sgt. Mahoney. - Yeah. 743 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,716 - I was really impressed by what you said. - Oh. 744 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,480 You really care. 745 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,674 Yeah. Just don't spread it around. It might ruin my rep. 746 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,669 I owe you an apology for the way I acted. You were just trying to be cute. 747 00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:04,750 Trying? On a cuteness scale of one to 10, I'm an eight. 748 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,117 - Five. - You're right, I am a five. 749 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:10,797 Listen, I'll accept your apology if you accept mine. 750 00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:13,709 - Deal. - All right. You know something? 751 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,152 Have you ever felt, after meeting someone for 10 minutes... 752 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,034 ...you've known them for two, three years? - No. 753 00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:23,074 - Oh. - Aah! Mahoney. 754 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,756 - Thanks, Mahoney. - Welcome, sir. 755 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,513 [JONES BEAT-BOXING] 756 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,595 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 757 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:51,874 Excuse, please. Shall I come back when all is well with your mind? 758 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,277 My mind is as well as it gets, but you look a little tense. 759 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,152 You see, I have great confusions... 760 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,230 ...about Sgt. Callahan. 761 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:05,955 [JONES SIGHS] 762 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,516 You've come to the right place, brother. 763 00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,517 Grab yourself pad and pencil because... 764 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,352 [IN DEEP VOICE] ...the Iove doctor is about to speak. 765 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,953 Yo! 766 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,672 In my country, it is written... 767 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,152 ...only kiss of beautiful woman... 768 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,674 ...can compare to petal of a rose... 769 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:43,230 ...babe. 770 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,560 In America, talk is cheap. 771 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,711 I love America. 772 00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,913 [DANCE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER] 773 00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,916 Hey. Hi, there. Remember me? 774 00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,033 Ah, yes, of course. How could I forget? 775 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:36,720 Who was that? 776 00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,913 Just an old friend. 777 00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:42,837 Why are we celebrating? It's Mauser, 42. Lassard, zip. 778 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,474 You think we're doing that well? 779 00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,718 - Mahoney. - Oh. 780 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,594 How's tricks? Not to worry. 781 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,439 Oh. 782 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,109 Your friend forgot to wear her "for rent" sign. 783 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:59,394 Oh. She's such a sweet kid. My aerobics instructor. 784 00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:05,232 Mahoney, see this ear? It's a finely tuned crap detector. 785 00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:09,434 Oh. And a Iovely ear it is. If I blow in it, will you follow me anywhere? 786 00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:13,510 Well, I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up... 787 00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,633 ...after your cadets humiliated the Police Department. 788 00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,991 Personally, it makes me sick. 789 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,632 How about you guys? Don't you guys think... 790 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,152 Coming, Commissioner. 791 00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:30,353 [MAHONEY CHUCKLES] 792 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,996 Will you think less of me if I call him a slime bucket? 793 00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:37,074 Mm-mm. In fact, I'll have my aerobics instructor confirm it. I'll be right back. 794 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,433 Hey. 795 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,793 - So how you doing? - Terrific. I need one of your special favors. 796 00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:47,720 - Right here? - Mm-mm-mm. 797 00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:58,080 Oh. I just Iove a man that eats shrimp that way. 798 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,755 - You do? - Oh, yes. 799 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:02,990 Come on. 800 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:09,355 - How does he do that? - The question is, why does he do that? 801 00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,350 It is a power of the mind. 802 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,034 [SCREAMS] 803 00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,279 [SCREAMS] 804 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:37,110 Allow me. 805 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,392 What kind of idiot klutz are you? 806 00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:42,959 Come on, dumpling. 807 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,870 I witnessed the entire attack, sir. My apologies, Mrs. Hurst. 808 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,199 May I say Copeland is not one of my cadets. He is a member of Lassard's staff. 809 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:55,110 You look different, Mauser. Are you putting on weight? 810 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,956 Come on, dumpling. We'll get you cleaned up. 811 00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:02,074 That's Lassard's staff, sir. Send me the cleaning bill on that, sir. 812 00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:14,552 You want the last shrimp? 813 00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:19,234 - There's only one thing that I want. - What? I'll call room service. 814 00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:20,994 Don't be silly. 815 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:25,833 What I want is for you to wait in there, in the bathroom... 816 00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:27,360 ...while I get ready. 817 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,120 - Why can't I wait in here? - We just met. 818 00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:33,199 Come on, can't a girl be a little bit old-fashioned? 819 00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:36,711 I'll call you just as soon as I'm ready. 820 00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:41,877 Come on, it's kind of drafty. 821 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:44,794 I'll get some help. 822 00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,880 A little patience. I'll be out in a minute. 823 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,750 Hurry up. Somebody wants to use the... 824 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,478 Come on, let me in! Hurry up! 825 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,235 OLD LADY: You should be ashamed of yourself. 826 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:06,631 I'll make up your room in a minute. 827 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,392 MAID: Where you going with my cart? 828 00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:12,036 - My cart. - Let me borrow it. 829 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:13,953 I'm a police officer... 830 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,360 It's mine. 831 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,199 MAN 1: What's this? 832 00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,270 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 833 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,995 Hi. Warm tonight. 834 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,273 How's it going? 835 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:35,793 PROCTOR: Aah! Ow! 836 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,909 [BAND PLAYING "TEAM THING"] 837 00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,590 [SINGING] It's a comfort And a strange kind of notion 838 00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,077 Knowing that you got complete devotion 839 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,352 To feel no matter what's the problem 840 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,280 Together we can solve it 841 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,632 It's a team thing, it takes two 842 00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:17,197 It's all the time me, all the time you 843 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,154 It's a team thing I'm talking about 844 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,432 It's a team thing all the way out 845 00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:27,350 It goes like this now Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 846 00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,997 Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 847 00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:34,278 Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 848 00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,552 No one could ever make me doubt you 849 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,800 They know I care too much About my baby 850 00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:44,919 It's a team thing, it takes two 851 00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,678 It's all the time me, all the time you 852 00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,118 It's a team thing I'm talking about 853 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,552 It's a team thing all the way out 854 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,759 It's a team thing, it takes two 855 00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:02,670 It's all the time me, all the time you 856 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,270 It's a team thing I'm talking about 857 00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:08,831 It's a team thing all the way out 858 00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:12,351 It's a team thing, it takes two 859 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,152 - hands him the ticket, and the driver said... 860 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,831 Ha-ha-ha. That's real funny, sir. Great joke teller, the Commissioner. 861 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,197 Are you enjoying yourselves? Are you comfortable? 862 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,835 Waiter, round of drinks. On me. 863 00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,431 Drinks are free, you idiot. 864 00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:30,838 Oh. Yes, sir. How stupid of me. 865 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,191 If you don't mind my saying so, Mrs. Hurst... 866 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,313 ...that fruit punch stain dried real nicely. 867 00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,671 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 868 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,918 You are not going to influence this evaluation committee. 869 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:45,033 So will you please stop all this slobbering? 870 00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:49,280 Sir, I think I can get it under control if I could only find out who's winning. 871 00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:55,118 Well, let's just say that Lassard's cadets have not exactly impressed them. 872 00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:57,872 Thank you very much, sir. 873 00:57:58,080 --> 00:57:59,833 Get hold of yourself, man. 874 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,080 Good Lord! You're falling apart. 875 00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,555 - Excuse me. Commissioner? - What the hell do you want? 876 00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,559 We've had reports of a naked man terrorizing the hotel. 877 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:15,156 He's obviously not at this table. 878 00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:17,079 - Mauser! - Yes, sir. 879 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,431 Would you take care of this naked person? 880 00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,036 Naked person, yes, sir! I'll get right on top of him! 881 00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:23,594 Proctor! 882 00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:46,440 [ENGINE STARTS] 883 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,080 [LAUGHS] 884 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,234 [LAUGHING] 885 00:58:57,440 --> 00:59:03,277 Well, glad to see you enjoying yourselves, men, despite the bad news. 886 00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,039 Bad news? There's been bad news? 887 00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:09,200 Well, bad news for you, good news for me. 888 00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:12,196 Your cadets have been doing their usual fine job... 889 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,319 ...so it looks like I've got this one in the bag. 890 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:19,309 Congratulations! I'm so happy when someone I know wins. 891 00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:22,240 I always think these contests are fixed. 892 00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,114 Wait a minute. 893 00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:28,673 - If you're winning, then... - You're losing. Ha, ha. 894 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:30,712 Sorry to spoil your fun. 895 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,710 - It's not fair. - Any ideas? 896 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:38,715 I could twist off Mauser's shiny head and roll it down the street. 897 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,671 Hold that thought, Hightower. 898 00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,556 [ENGINE STALLING] 899 00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,433 Come on. Damn it! 900 00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,791 [ENGINE STALLING] 901 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:17,554 Oh. 902 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,399 [PANTING] 903 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:45,354 [JEAN-MARC DOMPIERRE AND HIS ORCHESTRA'S "EL BIMBO" PLAYING] 904 01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:57,837 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 905 01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,357 Governor, Commissioner... 906 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,194 MAHONEY: Ladies and gentlemen... 907 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:07,270 ...may I introduce you to a very special man, Comdt. Mauser. 908 01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,197 As you know, the committee's been evaluating both of our academies... 909 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,198 ...and they're very close to a decision. 910 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,232 And you know what this man said about that? 911 01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:16,960 It's a fact... 912 01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:18,833 It's a "facahamahoma." 913 01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,713 Does this man have a way with words? 914 01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:24,470 He said you can't judge an academy by rushing its cadets out into the field... 915 01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:27,639 ...or by seeing whose cadets marched the straightest, no. 916 01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:31,629 Do you know what the man, I like to call "Mr. Policeman," said? 917 01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,753 "Forget any mistakes cadets have made over the last few weeks. 918 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,116 They were just learning. 919 01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:39,836 It's these last days of competition that should determine the winner." 920 01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:42,953 Comdt. Mauser, I salute you. 921 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,193 We all salute you! 922 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,517 [ALL CHEERING] 923 01:01:55,280 --> 01:01:58,273 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 924 01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:06,756 HURST: This is the final day of the evaluation competition... 925 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:11,155 ...and though Comdt. Mauser's academy is in the lead... 926 01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:16,310 ...it's how you perform today that will determine our winner. 927 01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,200 Police personnel will monitor your performance... 928 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:22,073 ...at crime iocations. 929 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:27,511 My advice is to treat this exactly as if it were real. 930 01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:29,914 Attention! 931 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,554 Dismissed! 932 01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:38,160 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 933 01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:43,150 I'm going to accompany the Governor to the charity regatta. 934 01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,756 He wants one cadet from each academy to go with us. 935 01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,235 But the competition, sir. 936 01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:52,151 The Governor thought it would be nice to evaluate cadets in a social situation. 937 01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:56,840 Proctor, what is this? Hurst said one from each academy. 938 01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,914 They're just as good as one man, almost. 939 01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:10,556 The phone's got my quarter and the operator won't give it back to me. 940 01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:12,439 I'll handle this, ma'am. 941 01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,558 - Operator, this is Sgt. Tackleberry. OPERATOR: So? 942 01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:20,913 - Please relinquish this lady's quarter. OPERATOR: I told her we'll send her a refund. 943 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:22,676 You'll pay her now! 944 01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,475 OPERATOR: I'm sorry, sir, would you like to speak to...? 945 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:27,799 Stand back, ma'am. 946 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,236 Can you identify your quarter, ma'am? 947 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:45,871 MRS. FACKLER: Sgt. Hooks, we got a 10-48 in Sector 1. 948 01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:47,400 Send in Tackleberry. 949 01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:51,958 Tackleberry? He's across town. Hightower's only three blocks away. 950 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,833 Send in Tackleberry. 951 01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:55,793 You heard him. Do it. 952 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:05,638 [SIREN WAILING AND CAR HORN HONKING] 953 01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:26,715 - Sweetchuck! - What a lobby. 954 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,835 Secure the elevator. I'll take the stairs. 955 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:09,596 Easy. 956 01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,196 Sgt. Hooks, there's a 10-48! 957 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,756 All right. Send in car 46. 958 01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,396 MRS. FACKLER: Car 46. Car 46. 959 01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:24,438 Hightower, there's a roving gang in the Gower district. 960 01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,433 KIRKLAND: Oh, boy, this is it. 961 01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:28,239 [SIREN WAILING] 962 01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:30,671 [LAUGHING] 963 01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:32,200 Right, right. 964 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,955 Take a left... No, you're going towards the expressway! 965 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:36,350 Take a U-turn on... 966 01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,591 Make a U-turn on Flint Street... 967 01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:42,793 No, you're going towards the expressway! What is that? 968 01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,273 No, wait, make a U-turn! 969 01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,437 - Where are we going? - Just relax. 970 01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,634 [SCREAMING] 971 01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:56,678 [MRS. FACKLER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO] 972 01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:58,434 Not a word. 973 01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:03,955 MRS. FACKLER: - then you go around. Stop! Don't... 974 01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,199 [BOTH LAUGH] 975 01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:15,432 [GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 976 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:26,559 We're with the Governor at the trophy. 977 01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:28,956 The purpose of the regatta, of course... 978 01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:31,959 ...is we're hoping to raise about $20,000 for my campaign. 979 01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:33,480 I was going to... 980 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,195 MAN 1: Good luck, Governor. - We're moving toward the punch bowl. 981 01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:38,511 Hello, Judge. Pick a winner, huh? 982 01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,036 CADETS: We've stopped. 983 01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:42,311 - Would you back off? CADETS: We're backing off. 984 01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:44,399 What are you trying to do, injure him? 985 01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:47,155 Comdt. Mauser's cadets never abandon their posts, sir! 986 01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,192 Unlike some cadets I might mention, sir! 987 01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,113 [LAUGHING] 988 01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:04,154 [LAUGHING] 989 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:15,676 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 990 01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:22,513 Holy cow! 991 01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,320 Mahoney. 992 01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:32,075 Mahoney, somebody, I need help. 993 01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:33,914 I need help. 994 01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:39,398 Listen, the busboys... 995 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,717 ...are shooting my nose. 996 01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,669 MRS. FACKLER: Did you read that? Was that for real? 997 01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:46,473 We heard it. Sir? 998 01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:49,400 - Maybe we better check it out. - What about the evaluation? 999 01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,638 One of my boys may be in trouble. Screw the evaluation. 1000 01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,031 I love it when you talk dirty, sir. 1001 01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:57,596 Mahoney must think he's as dumb as we are. 1002 01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,309 - We're not gonna fall for that stuff. - Yeah. 1003 01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:03,513 He must be getting desperate, trying to sucker us with that crap. 1004 01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:08,715 [GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHING] 1005 01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:09,910 Go. 1006 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,954 ROBBER 1 Come on, let's go. Come on. 1007 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:16,509 ROBBER 2: Get your hands in the air. It's a stickup! 1008 01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,035 [SCREAMING] 1009 01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:21,030 If there was trouble, Baxter would let us know. 1010 01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:23,078 Take them, boys. 1011 01:08:24,480 --> 01:08:26,199 Don't you touch that. 1012 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,797 No, not the one for bravery. 1013 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:36,473 [SIRENS WAILING] 1014 01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,273 MAHONEY: There's the Yacht Club. 1015 01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,156 ADAMS: How are we gonna get there, Sergeant? 1016 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,713 How do you look in a wet suit? 1017 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,395 Hand over your money and jewels and nobody gets hurt! 1018 01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:19,711 You'll never get away with this. I'm the Governor. 1019 01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:23,112 The Governor? Did you hear that, boys? We got the Governor. 1020 01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:24,310 ROBBERS: Hooray! 1021 01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:26,751 You must be breaking your mother's heart. 1022 01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:29,634 Why don't you ask her? She's right over there. 1023 01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:31,953 Hi. 1024 01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,436 - Oh, yeah. She looks like you. - Hmm? 1025 01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:02,795 Gather our boys. We got trouble coming! 1026 01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:20,155 [SCREAMING] 1027 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:29,440 Spread out, spread out. Spread. 1028 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:30,636 I can't get Baxter. 1029 01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:34,720 Something's going on at the marina. Right over there. Take the next right. 1030 01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:54,877 Just relax. You've got the right to remain silent. 1031 01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:57,197 - You passed it. - They're not yielding. 1032 01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:58,800 - Pull over to the right. - Yield! 1033 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,753 You're missing it. There goes the right. 1034 01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,997 We're in a police car and they're not yielding. 1035 01:11:06,280 --> 01:11:08,033 [ROBBER SCREAMS] 1036 01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:10,400 [LAUGHS] 1037 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:11,716 Move! 1038 01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:18,395 MAHONEY: Stop. Hold it. - Mahoney! 1039 01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:20,512 Police officer. Stop right there! 1040 01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:30,119 Karen, I'm going after the Governor. 1041 01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:37,954 - Are you okay? ADAMS: Yes. 1042 01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:40,550 - You do Iook good in a wet suit. ADAMS: So do you. 1043 01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:49,870 [MIMICKING REVVING ENGINE] 1044 01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:56,111 [MIMICKING HOMING DEVICE] 1045 01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:57,675 CADET: Freeze! 1046 01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:00,789 Drop it! 1047 01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:07,475 Go ahead. Make my day... 1048 01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:09,270 ...punk! 1049 01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:15,194 ROBBERS: Freeze, cop! 1050 01:12:16,440 --> 01:12:18,671 Uh-oh. Trouble. 1051 01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,196 Banzai! 1052 01:12:41,480 --> 01:12:42,994 Yeah. 1053 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,917 [BOTH SCREAMING] 1054 01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:01,313 I didn't mean to hit you. 1055 01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:04,120 [ZED GRUNTING] 1056 01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:06,835 I hate you. I hate you. 1057 01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:35,598 Hey. Pull over. 1058 01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:42,038 ADAMS: Mahoney, you all right? 1059 01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:44,596 I'm okay. Just keep going. 1060 01:13:50,200 --> 01:13:51,759 MAN 1: Hey. 1061 01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:55,192 Get out of my way, old man. 1062 01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:02,192 [ROBBER SCREAMING] 1063 01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,072 Mahoney's in trouble. Let's go! 1064 01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,715 You got it. Oh! 1065 01:14:29,440 --> 01:14:31,397 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING] 1066 01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:49,430 [SCREAMING] 1067 01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:10,075 [SCREAMING] 1068 01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:15,077 [ZED LAUGHING] 1069 01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,393 MAUSER: Proctor, you're an idiot. 1070 01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:22,559 You were born an idiot, you'll always be an idiot. 1071 01:15:34,400 --> 01:15:36,392 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 1072 01:15:39,720 --> 01:15:40,949 [JONES MIMICKING ALARM] 1073 01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:42,230 Dive. 1074 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:42,913 [MAHONEY SCREAMING] 1075 01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:49,713 Whoa! 1076 01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:51,800 Yahoo! 1077 01:16:55,960 --> 01:16:57,440 MAUSER: Move it, Proctor. 1078 01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:00,030 I got this side, you paddle on the other side. 1079 01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:01,879 Uh-oh. Oh. Hey, hey, hey! 1080 01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,309 Hold it! 1081 01:17:03,520 --> 01:17:05,034 PROCTOR: Hey! - No, no, no! 1082 01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:11,080 You okay, sir? 1083 01:17:20,840 --> 01:17:22,832 Aah! Look out. 1084 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:25,190 [SCREAMING] 1085 01:17:52,200 --> 01:17:54,271 [SCREAMING] 1086 01:18:01,640 --> 01:18:03,074 Let's talk. Ha! 1087 01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:18,071 [SCREAMING] 1088 01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:23,399 [SCREAMING] 1089 01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:26,150 [CRASHING] 1090 01:18:29,360 --> 01:18:31,158 MAN 1: You okay? WOMAN 1: You need help? 1091 01:18:33,080 --> 01:18:35,356 WOMAN 2: Where's the Governor? MAN 2: Governor! 1092 01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:37,114 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 1093 01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:40,630 Don't move, dirtbag! 1094 01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:48,599 All right! Can we go again? 1095 01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:52,919 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 1096 01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:02,240 [SCREAMING] 1097 01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:11,152 MAHONEY: I'd like to thank the members of my racing team for their assistance. 1098 01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:12,350 I couldn't have won... 1099 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:17,072 LASSARD: without the help of my many wonderful instructors... 1100 01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:19,840 ...and my many fine cadets. 1101 01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:23,354 Thanks to all... 1102 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:27,520 ...this academy will carry on its fine tradition. 1103 01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:32,556 [CHEERING] 1104 01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:39,033 Ha! 1105 01:23:39,320 --> 01:23:41,312 [English - US - SDH]