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[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,484
CHRIS ROCK: As rough as I had it as a kid,
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even I got excited
when Christmas came around.
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Chris, how do you
spell "cabbage"?
5
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C-A-B-B-A-G-E.
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Thanks. "Cabbage Patch."DREW: Oh, Chris!
7
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Look at this cool BMX bike.Oh, that's cool.
8
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,413
Chris, what are you
putting on your list?
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00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:25,329
I'm not writing a list.
That's for kids.
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I wasn't writing a list
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because the only thing I wanted was a portable cassette player.
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Having a Walkman meant you could even listen to bad music
13
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and nobody had to know.
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I had been leaving that ad
all over the house,
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so I was pretty sure
my mother got the hint.
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[♪♪♪]
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Since I only wanted one gift,
I knew I'd get it.
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This was going to be
the best Christmas ever.
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[GROANS]
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Happy Kwanza, Kunta Kinte.
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Well, maybe notever.
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[♪♪♪]
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♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
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I'm getting a ColecoVision.Wait.
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You have an Atari and
you're getting a ColecoVision?
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Yeah. What are you getting?
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I'm getting a Walkman.
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No way.
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It's the only thing
I've been asking for.
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I would kill for one
of those. You're so lucky.
31
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How come your dad
doesn't get you one?
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Censorship.
He wants to makes sure
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he can hear the music
I'm listening to.
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First rap was fun,
then rap was gun.
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Let me go, you bitches.
You're punks, both of you.
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West side! West side!Jeez, kid, will you shut up?
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Years later,
Greg played some Ice Cube
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and his own father shot him.
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Class, since this
is the season of giving,
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I'd like you all to bring in
canned food items,
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so we can donate them
to those less fortunate.
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It's funny how most people
only think about
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feeding the needy
during Christmas.
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I'm sure there's a lot
of hungry people
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during President's Day.
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Yes, Chris?Do we have to bring in cans?
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Can we bring in, like,
boxes of food?
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You don't have
to bring anything,
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but that's
very thoughtful of you.
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00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,910
I know this time of year
must be hard for your family.
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No. We're doing fine.
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I know. I know.
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She made it seem
like we were having
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a bowl of steam
for dinner that night.
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[JULIUS YELPS]
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Who used up all the hot water?
57
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,012
It's five degrees outside.
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What you trying to do,
kill me?
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00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,103
Chris said it was cool
when he took a shower earlier.
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Oh! The hot water heater's
probably broken again.
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Think you can fix it?I'm already holding it together
62
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with duct tape and hangers.
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We're just gonna have
to replace it.
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Well, baby, how much
do you think that's gonna cost?
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More than I got.
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Will we have enough money
to buy Christmas presents?
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00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:30,166
I thought you finished shopping.I bought a few things,
68
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but I have got to get
that Walkman for Chris.
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He's been giving me hints
since Thanksgiving.
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These kids get
too many gifts on Christmas.
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When I was a kid,
instead of buying gifts,
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my father used to call
the cops on Christmas
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and tell us
the house got robbed.
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00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,051
In order to make
extra money for Christmas,
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my father would do any job.
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That'll be $30.
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He worked as a cab driver.That's okay.
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It was easy for him
to pick up odd jobs
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for extra money
when he needed it.
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00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,975
Merry Christmas.
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00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,194
Lint roll, sir?Yeah.
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He worked as a lint roller.
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00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:04,069
Thank you.
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00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,377
He even worked
as an oil taster.
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00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:10,598
This is 10-W 30.
You need 10-W 40.
86
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Now, that's a father.
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TONYA:
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Drew.
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Drew!
Ow!
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00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,264
What'd you do that for?How do you spell "Malibu"?
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00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:28,485
M-A-L-I-BOO?
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00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,835
You still writing that
stupid Christmas list?
93
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,881
It's not stupid.Yes, it is.
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Everybody knows there's
no Santa Claus, Tonya.
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That's not true.
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00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,930
And it's not stupid.
You're stupid.
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00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,976
You're stupid.You're stupid.
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ROCHELLE:
Drew, stop calling
your sister stupid!
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00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,197
My mother had amazing hearing.
100
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,679
We couldn't do anything in our
house without her hearing it.
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Chris! Quit throwing cotton
balls all over the place!
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What are y'all arguing about?Nothing.
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Drew said there's
no such thing as Santa Claus.
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What are you talking about, boy?
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00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,046
Of course there's
a Santa Claus, baby.
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CHRIS: Hey.DREW: What's up, bro?
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00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,485
We're having
a food drive at school.
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Can I bring some canned goods?Okay.
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00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:17,055
But don't take generic brands.
Only store brands.
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I do not want
those people thinking
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we can't afford to donate food.
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My mother would give away
all the food we had
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if she thought it would prove
we didn't need it.
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How come you said
my list is stupid?
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Because everybody knows
there's no Santa Claus.
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Come here, let me
show you something.
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Where are we going?
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I'm taking you to the toys.
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Santa doesn't come
down the chimney.
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We don't even have
a chimney, we have radiators.
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You ever heard of Santa Claus
coming through radiators?
122
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,564
But how can we have
our toys already
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if I haven't even
finished my list?
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Because.
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Hey, man. What you doing?
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I'm taking canned goods
to school for the needy.
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[CASH REGISTER CLICKING, DINGS]
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Man, that's $2.89 cent
worth of food.
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00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,324
What you trying to do,
feed the needy or be the needy?
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00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,021
Rochelle!Julius!
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[♪♪♪]
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My parents tried not argue
in front of the kids,
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so instead,
they just made faces.
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They make curse-out faces too, but we can't show you those.
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Meanwhile, Drew was showing
Tanya something
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no kid should see.
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See, I told you.
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[♪♪♪]
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[DOOR SLAMS]
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Whoa! Cool!
141
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Tonya wasn't the only one
having a bad day.
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Is there something wrong?
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Have a seat, baby.
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The last time they asked me
to sit down
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before they told me something, The Jackson Five broke up.
146
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,249
Hey, Chris. Heh.
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00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,730
Um, baby, look, I know you've
been looking forward
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00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,993
to getting that new Walkman
for Christmas.
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00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,039
And, Chris, I've always
wanted my kids
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to have a better Christmas
than I had growing up.
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00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:16,784
But the older you get,
the more you learn
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about the sacrifices
you have to make.
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Sacrifices?
154
00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:24,966
Uh...
155
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Like not getting
a new pair of work boots
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so you kids can have shoes.
157
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,058
Or like taking
the subway to work
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00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:31,799
so your wife can use the car.
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00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,764
Mom, Dad, I'm 13.
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You're not getting
a present for Christmas.
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He said that
like we're out of bacon.
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We gotta buy
a new water heater.
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00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,817
Well, then, we need a plan
164
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to tell Drew and Tonya.Tell them what?
165
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,473
That they're not
getting presents.
166
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,431
Who said they weren't getting
anything?
167
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Wait, they're getting stuff
and I'm not?
168
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You're older, Chris.
169
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They wouldn't understand.
170
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Am I gonna get anything?
171
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:12,317
Oh, baby, you'll be able to use
up all the hot water you want.
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00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,450
So all I'm getting
is a clean ass?
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Steaming hot.
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♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
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So you're not getting
anything for Christmas?
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Nope.
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00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,641
Man, nothing for Christmas?
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00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,209
Isn't that considered
child abuse?
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Sure does feel like it.
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They'll put something
in your stocking.
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Maybe some leftover sausage.
182
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:43,305
There's gotta be
a law against this.
183
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,308
Oh, Chris, look at you.
184
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,397
You didn't have
to bring any food.
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00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:51,574
Sometimes I forget
how strong your people are.
186
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,445
What do you mean,
how strong my people are?
187
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,927
What do I mean,
how strong your people are?
188
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:59,887
You shall overcome someday.
189
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:03,455
See me after class.
I have something for you.
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00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,805
Okay.
191
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,113
Do I look like
Malcolm X to you, lady?
192
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,594
How would you like
to overcome a brick?
193
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,995
Tonya, I thought you were
gonna put up the decorations.
194
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,258
I don't want to now.
195
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:26,696
Why not?Because.
196
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,525
You and Daddy lied to me.
197
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,614
We lied to you? About what?
198
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,922
I know there's no such thing
as Santa Claus.
199
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,707
When my mother heard
Tonya say those words,
200
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:40,057
it was like she wasn't
her baby anymore.
201
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,842
What else did you
lie to me about?
202
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,626
Are you gonna kick me out
if I get pregnant?
203
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,759
Is it true you ain't
taking care of no baby?
204
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,325
Can I really not bring
a white boy home?
205
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:48,892
Does the Foreman Grill
really knock out the fat?
206
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,633
Can I really get a loan
with no money down?
207
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:54,289
Are you my real mother?
Mama, I want answers.
208
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:58,989
Tonya, like Mommy told you,
there isa Santa Claus.
209
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:02,776
So how come there's a room
upstairs full of presents?
210
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:05,213
Who told you that?Drew showed me.
211
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,303
Drew, get in here!
212
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,870
Yes, Mom?
213
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,786
Did you show Tonya
the presents upstairs?
214
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,439
Yeah.
215
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,225
We need to talk.
216
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:18,530
Uh...no.
217
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,750
Hold on, Mama. No, no.
218
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,492
My mother talked about beating us all the time,
219
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,276
but the only time
she ever beat us
220
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,104
is when she said
she wanted to talk.
221
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,672
And she talked the hell
out of Drew that night.
222
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:32,153
[DREW GROANING, SCREAMS]
223
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,199
[GRUNTS]
224
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:41,205
Oh.
Well, what's all this stuff?
225
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,164
I got it from my teacher.Hm.
226
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:46,689
She thinks that we're
underprivileged and starving.
227
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,387
Oh, no. Mm-mm.
228
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:50,998
Absolutely not.
229
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,304
I am not gonna have
them people thinking
230
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,219
that we don't have
anything to eat.
231
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,395
She wasn't too proud
to take those olives.
232
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,136
Where you going?I'm taking this
233
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,355
to put more food in it.
234
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,617
You're taking this back.
235
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,314
My mother was so upset
236
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,360
about people thinking
we needed charity,
237
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,188
she almost forgot
she felt guilty
238
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,580
about not getting me a gift.
239
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:09,756
Chris, wait a minute.
240
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,628
Look, I'm sorry.
241
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,848
I know all of this
is not your fault.
242
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:17,807
I know it seems kind of crazy
with me giving back free food
243
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,418
when we can't even afford
to buy you a Christmas gift.
244
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,856
It's okay.
245
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:25,946
After that, my mother gave me
the one gift she could afford.
246
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,166
She was really nice to me!
247
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,517
Who needs Christmas when all your wildest dreams come true?
248
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,694
Chris gets the big piece.
249
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,133
I got the big piece of chicken.
250
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,874
[♪♪♪]
251
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,443
Merry Christmas.
252
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,885
I didn't have to do any chores.
253
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,364
Tonya, wash the dishes.
254
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,105
I thought Chris
had to do 'em.
255
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,978
You thought wrong.
256
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,631
I got Tonya in trouble.
257
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,459
Ow! Ow!
258
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,158
Mama, Tonya hit me twice.
259
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,553
It felt so good, I was thinking what life would be like
260
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,990
if I never got a present.
261
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,774
Get up and let your brother
watch TV.
262
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:14,081
But, Ma!But nothing! Get up.
263
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,651
I wondered what I could get
if the roof caved in.
264
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,743
Mwah!
265
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,617
Hey, Drew, can you
pass me the remote?
266
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,750
Tsk, yeah, right.
267
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,316
Ma...
268
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,796
[GROANS]
269
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,493
[MUTTERING]
270
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,498
I couldn't believe
how good I had it.
271
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,762
Meanwhile, Tonya didn't believe anything.
272
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:46,200
Mama, is cornbread
made of corn?
273
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,897
Mm, no.
274
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:51,205
I think it's made
of cornmeal. Why?
275
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,468
Just checking.DREW: Why, you want Santa Claus
276
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,383
to bring you
some cornbread for Christmas?
277
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,254
He could bring it with
your Cabbage Patch Doll.
278
00:12:57,428 --> 00:13:01,476
Hey, hey. Stop it. Okay? Enough.JULIUS: Leave your sister alone.
279
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,174
Drew, you believed in the Easter
Bunny till about her age.
280
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,089
Chris, you near lost
all your teeth
281
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:09,049
before you stopped believing
in the Tooth Fairy.
282
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,967
There's no Easter Bunny
or Tooth Fairy, either?
283
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,707
Uh...No, baby, he...
284
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,231
He didn't mean that.
285
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:20,103
Somebody better give me
my teeth back.
286
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,714
Baby, I didn't mean it!
I didn't mean it!
287
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,979
Julius! I can't believe you!I want my teeth back!
288
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,632
Baby, no...Tonya!
289
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,982
We were joking!
It's a joke!
290
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:32,202
It's a... Ha-ha! It's a joke!
291
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,338
That's her. She said Santa
can't come to our house,
292
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,166
'cause all we have
is space heaters.
293
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,124
Santa can't come
through a space heater.
294
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,996
What kind of children
are you raising?
295
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,954
This girl's going around
crushing dreams.
296
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,304
Is that what you want her to be?
A dream crusher?
297
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,741
No, but I--That girl needs to be stopped.
298
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,572
Tonya!It's the truth!
299
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:57,924
Normally, my mother would smack the grease out of Tonya's hair.
300
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,404
But she couldn't smack her
for telling the truth.
301
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,015
GREG:
What's that?
302
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,060
My mom made me bring
all this stuff back
303
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:07,020
to prove that we can afford
to donate food.
304
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,979
Hey, yo, I got
something for you.
305
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,416
Thanks! What's this?Open it.
306
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,334
"Computer Games."
Who is it?
307
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:18,727
George Clinton.
308
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,598
There's a song on there,
"Atomic Dog,"
309
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,644
I heard it on the radio.
It's really funny.
310
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:24,385
Think I'll like it?I don't know.
311
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,083
When you finally get your
Walkman, you'll have a tape.
312
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,694
I always liked
that Greg was so optimistic.
313
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,261
To this day, he still thinks
314
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,350
Al B. Sure's gonna make
a comeback.
315
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,874
[BELL RINGS]
316
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:41,968
But if Santa Claus is not real,
why do people make it up?
317
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,753
Tonya, Santa is
just a way to teach kids
318
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,842
about the spirit of giving.
319
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:49,497
He's just a symbol,
that's all.
320
00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:50,759
Oh.
321
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,328
Tonya, you're a big girl,
322
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:57,157
and now that you're old
enough to know the truth,
323
00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,636
it's your responsibility
324
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,900
to not spoil it
for other kids, okay?
325
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,598
Because you want to give them
something to believe in.
326
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,730
Exactly.
327
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,385
That's my big girl. Mwah!
328
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,431
So you do understand.
329
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:14,087
Yeah. It's okay to lie.
330
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,524
Aw, good night, Mommy.
331
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,005
You think explaining Santa Claus to Tonya was hard,
332
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,616
you should have been there
for the birds and the bees.
333
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,358
Ew, that's nasty!
334
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,403
[♪♪♪]
335
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:33,323
Nobody ever seems to get
any sleep on Christmas Eve.
336
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:38,372
Everybody's up
for different reasons.
337
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:39,808
What you doing, baby?
338
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,897
Setting out
milk and cookies.
339
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,551
We talked about this.
340
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,467
We did.
And they're not for Santa.
341
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:47,990
They're for you.
342
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,557
[CHUCKLES]
343
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:51,820
Thank you, baby.
344
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,173
But since I wasn't getting
anything,
345
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,306
I didn't have that problem.
346
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,003
[SNORING]
347
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:07,792
On Christmas morning, I even took my time going downstairs.
348
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,411
Now that Tonya knew there
wasn't a Santa Claus,
349
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,674
her complaints went
directly to my mother.
350
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:23,199
Mama, I wanted a Cabbage Patch
Doll with long hair.
351
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,767
How about you have
no doll with no hair?
352
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:29,205
Oh, thank you.Okay.
353
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,468
Chris, this one
is for you, baby.
354
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,949
Is it a new album?Open it and find out.
355
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,386
They were giving those away
at the doctor's office
356
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,779
I deliver papers to.
357
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,389
Thought you could use it
for school.
358
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,478
Thanks. I will.
359
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,438
Hey, Chris, what'd you get?
360
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,135
A calendar.
361
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,832
A calendar?
362
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,313
Yeah, that's what I wanted.
363
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,489
See, now, look here.
Did you know that May
364
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,535
is High Blood Pressure Month?DREW and TONYA: No.
365
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,885
You would if you had a calendar.ROCHELLE: See?
366
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,366
All y'all should ask
for calendars next year.
367
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,021
JULIUS: That's a good idea.Hey, Chris, wanna go
368
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:05,850
ride my bike outside later? By "later," he meant summer.
369
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,811
Yeah, sure.Hey, Chris. You can have this.
370
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:14,033
Are you sure?Yeah. I'm sure.
371
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,296
Baby, that's so nice.
372
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,603
That's what I thought too.
373
00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:21,257
Yes! I win again!
374
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,781
In your face! Ooh!
375
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,829
What now?
I don't get New Year's?
376
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,700
Mwah! Thank you.
377
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,528
For what?For the way you've handled
378
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:32,834
not getting what you wanted.
379
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,402
You've really made
us proud, man.
380
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,968
Drew and Tonya are kids.
381
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,840
They need Christmas presents
more than me.
382
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,929
You know, you're really
growing up, Chris.
383
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,758
It's kind of nice having
another man around the house.
384
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:46,195
It was weird.
That morning with my parents
385
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:49,503
felt better
than any gift I ever got.
386
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,201
Here you go.What's this?
387
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,725
Toy store coupon,
50 percent off.
388
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,250
It's good till March.
389
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,948
By the end of the day,
it didn't even matter anymore
390
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:03,560
that I didn't have a gift,
because I had a good day.
391
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,867
And right now, I'm with Mrs. Vivian Morello.
392
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,216
Hey, that's my teacher.
393
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,826
It is?
Mm-hm.
394
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,351
Every year,
my students collect food
395
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:14,615
for the very poorest,
most destitute
396
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,486
and neediest families.
397
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,966
These people are so poor,
398
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,489
they probably don't
have anything
399
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,361
but the clothes on their backs.
400
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,972
Even though they're embarrassingly underprivileged,
401
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:27,541
they're just too proud
to ask for help.
402
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:31,197
Too proud to ask for help. And they're poor.
403
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,591
Tonight, we're going to give
a family this basket.
404
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,725
Now, who wants somebody
coming to their door on TV
405
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:40,597
talking about
how poor they are?
406
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:43,513
This is so exciting.
407
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:44,862
[DOORBELL BUZZES][KNOCKING]
408
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,299
Mm, I'll get it.
409
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:48,997
You got it?
410
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,133
BOTH:
Merry Christmas!
411
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,875
Chris!
412
00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:02,053
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
413
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:10,061
CHRIS ROCK:
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
414
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:15,632
[♪♪♪]
415
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,331
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪