1
00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:17,753
URBAN GUARD - POLICE
GETTING PAID WITHOUT WORKING

2
00:00:17,791 --> 00:00:19,500
ONE IS A BUM
WHOM WE SUPPORT WITH OUR TAXES

3
00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:21,250
How's it looking?

4
00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:24,250
There are a few good memes.

5
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,791
- Don't hit like on any though.
- No, no.

6
00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:28,541
This shoot will turn things around.

7
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:30,250
Look meaner! There you go.

8
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:32,291
Now look nicer. That's it.

9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,416
More confident. Come on.

10
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,166
Can... Can you guys
try to show more confidence?

11
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:38,583
Not that much, Feli.

12
00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:42,041
Now, a little sweetness, huh?
Try to look a little sweeter.

13
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,916
Uh, Joni, show me some sweetness.

14
00:00:44,958 --> 00:00:45,958
More, huh? More.

15
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,208
Mm.

16
00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:48,958
Impossible to get any sweeter than that.

17
00:00:49,041 --> 00:00:51,125
Can you rotate the girl, please?

18
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,208
That's great right there.
You look perfect, Sofi.

19
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:58,125
- Perfect face, right?
- Ah, Feli, that's it, that's it.

20
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:01,125
- A blank stare. I love that!
- Can you take mine now?

21
00:01:01,208 --> 00:01:05,208
The minister asked us to really
highlight the whole minorities thing.

22
00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:06,958
What do you think?

23
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:08,583
Edgardo, look that way.

24
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,208
- Relax, everyone. Here, over here.
- How about we lose the curls here?

25
00:01:13,291 --> 00:01:15,958
That's good. Yeah, it's gonna look great.

26
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:20,208
THIS CHARADE IS PAID BY OUR TAXES
URBAN GUARD

27
00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:23,750
COMMUNITY SQUAD

28
00:01:37,958 --> 00:01:40,083
Wow, this is a big apartment
for just one person.

29
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:43,083
Well, it was supposed to be for two, but...

30
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,708
House warming gift!
Take it, your sister made it.

31
00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:47,375
What is it?

32
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,750
- Try it. It's a stool. Go ahead.
- Oh.

33
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:51,583
Try it, try it.

34
00:01:51,666 --> 00:01:52,958
It's really, really good!

35
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:55,875
Spectacular!

36
00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:59,125
Don't you think that if you moved this,
it'd make the room more comfortable?

37
00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:00,648
But I don't have the time right now.

38
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,083
But you're quitting, aren't you?

39
00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:03,666
It's not dangerous, Mom.

40
00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,333
Your shirt has a bloodstain, son.

41
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,416
Right, I'm...
I'm having trouble getting it out.

42
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,934
I was going to ask you about that,
but my phone's not working.

43
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:13,878
- Fine, take it off, I'll wash it for you.
- I'm sorry, I can't right now.

44
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,059
- Why? We have to go? We just got here.
- I gotta work.

45
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,750
- Thanks for the food.
- Put baking soda and soap on it.

46
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,375
You can also use bleach
and it'll get all the stains out.

47
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,458
- Right.
- If you need anything, please call me.

48
00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:25,708
Yeah. The thing is
my phone's not working, Mom.

49
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,416
- Listen Feli, about your cell phone.
- Yeah.

50
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,333
I had to cancel the corporate phone line.

51
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,958
I wanted to ask
if you could give me back the phone too.

52
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,541
We're having a few issues
with payments, okay?

53
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,500
- Okay.
- Don't tell your mom, or she'll...

54
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:38,583
- What?
- Thanks.

55
00:02:38,666 --> 00:02:39,666
Love you.

56
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:44,875
- You have my chip.
- I'll give it to you later, son.

57
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:49,666
- Is it so hard for you to take him back?
- He's an urban guard, Adriana.

58
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:52,708
It's just bad luck, it's an easy job.
He helps the elderly.

59
00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:57,500
Isn't his apartment a bit weird?
I don't know, I don't think he's alright.

60
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,250
- Who is it?
- Pest control.

61
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,375
Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

62
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:05,291
URBAN GUARD

63
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,166
No, no, of course, I wouldn't
do anything without checking in.

64
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:11,833
Hey, I've got a customer.
Can I call you back in a minute?

65
00:03:11,916 --> 00:03:13,041
Thanks.

66
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:14,166
Fuck!

67
00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:17,000
- Everything good?
- Yeah, not now.

68
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,333
Yeah, the drain is right here.

69
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,458
I saw a little one walking
on the countertop the other day.

70
00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:33,375
And my girlfriend really hates them.
My ex, I guess.

71
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:35,618
I don't know, it's confusing
when they ask for a break.

72
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:39,166
You gonna get that?

73
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,166
I'm about to start the fumigation.

74
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:49,375
Listen to me, Doguito, uh,
when I told you to take care of it,

75
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:52,041
I meant do a little research on him.
Only that.

76
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,750
Because I'm seeing him everywhere,
his face is all over the city.

77
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,875
And the Queen has issued
an order, you know?

78
00:03:58,375 --> 00:03:59,541
Although, I uh-

79
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:03,041
I gotta ask about it just so I know
that we're not fucking up anything.

80
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:04,125
I'd fumigate,

81
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,958
- things would get messy.
- No, no, fumigate now, I'm here.

82
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,916
Okay, whatever you say.

83
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,333
So?

84
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,750
Thank you. You're the best, huh?

85
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,500
I'm gonna get some things,
I'm late for my therapist.

86
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:37,750
Oh, you're doing everything,
and the living room?

87
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,708
No, be careful with the TV. Careful.

88
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:41,041
That's it, I'm done.

89
00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:42,625
And the bathroom?

90
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,125
Ah.

91
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:48,583
I mean my God.

92
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,208
Yeah, I've told you 'bout my sister.

93
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,333
She creates a foam stool
and she's a genius.

94
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:57,083
I worked there 15 years,
gone only two days, they take my phone.

95
00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,250
Exactly.

96
00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:01,166
Speaking of which...

97
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,791
I feel bad, but...

98
00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:06,916
I wanted to borrow it since you don't...

99
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,291
I'll give it back to you
after my first paycheck, okay?

100
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:13,458
Diego?

101
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:17,375
Thanks.

102
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:24,625
Well, just relax now. Yeah?

103
00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:27,208
The investigation's progressing.

104
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:28,958
We'll catch them, I promise.

105
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,541
So they said it's a cold case now.

106
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,125
Oh, how quickly they forget
about martyrs, huh?

107
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,833
- Wait a sec.
- Get in there.

108
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:41,833
- Hey there. Any update on Diego?
- Yeah, got a few leads to look over.

109
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,291
You can count on me for anything you need.

110
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:46,875
I have some of his belongings,
so if there's anything...

111
00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:48,434
- Would you look at that, huh?
- Yeah.

112
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:51,500
When we get to that part of investigation,
we'll give you a call.

113
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:54,375
Feli, we're heading out to the park.

114
00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:57,333
- Let's go.
- Looks like you got an outdoor play date.

115
00:05:57,416 --> 00:05:59,125
Hey, don't forget sunblock.

116
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,333
- Yeah.
- Let's go, kids! Go, go! Come on.

117
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:04,177
- There's no time to lose!
- Now they know we're staying on top of it.

118
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:12,041
<i>Today, we have
a tailor-made opportunity.</i>

119
00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:13,750
<i>A green weekend!</i>

120
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,333
<i>We're here to ensure
that it goes smoothly.</i>

121
00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:18,375
<i>They asked for us.</i>

122
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,666
<i>They're tired of the police.</i>

123
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,458
<i>They want to show a friendlier image.</i>

124
00:06:22,541 --> 00:06:24,250
<i>That's why they called us.</i>

125
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:27,293
And because, well, the Parks and Rec guys
are on strike due to budget cuts,

126
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:30,333
or what they call "trimming"...
but that's not important.

127
00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:34,541
No, the important thing is
that we cannot afford to miss this chance.

128
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,666
We have to gain their respect.

129
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,750
- Shitheads.
- Am I really that fat?

130
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:44,833
It's just a nice back-and-forth dialogue
with the community.

131
00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:46,333
Okay? Don't let it get to you.

132
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,267
- What happened?
- I'll tell you about it later.

133
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:51,708
We're Palermo Division! Let's get out
and show them how capable we are.

134
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:53,125
Why'd they shrink me down?

135
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:55,041
Go, go.

136
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,166
They shrank me.

137
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,625
No, it's just a visual effect.

138
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:01,958
Hey, we're holding a drawing.

139
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,201
You can win a sustainable kit

140
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,666
- that includes compost-based toothpaste...
- No, thank you.

141
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,541
- Fucking asshole.
- Wow.

142
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,250
We're making a great impression.

143
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:15,375
It'd be nice to catch the prick
that's doing this joke on us, huh?

144
00:07:15,458 --> 00:07:17,958
That's just publicity.
Some will like you and others don't.

145
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:20,641
- Try not to get upset.
- You look good in that cap, traitor, huh?

146
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,791
Shut up, asshole.
I'm an urban guard, not a snitch!

147
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,958
- Yeah, I know who you are, baby!
- Dumb bitch.

148
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,916
I'm sorry, but there's
a bearded guy who often comes by.

149
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,125
He's a strange weirdo.

150
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:31,958
- Is he here now? Did you see the guy?
- He's here every day,

151
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:33,833
carrying a spray can, walking around.

152
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,541
Okay, describe him for me.

153
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:39,958
Oh, his eyes are round,
black hair, and a sweatshirt.

154
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,500
He wears a hoodie.

155
00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:42,791
Is this him?

156
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,458
Exactly!

157
00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:45,791
Yeah, that's him.

158
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:48,333
You know what, you're an absolute angel.

159
00:07:48,416 --> 00:07:50,250
You put in so much effort.

160
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:53,333
And all alone,
you're all alone, poor little thing.

161
00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:56,250
I'm 39 years old, lady.
Please don't ever, ever, call me "little".

162
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,916
Whatever you say, hon.

163
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,416
Hey, you're beautiful.

164
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:02,833
- Hey, man, you can't...
- No, no.

165
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,333
Oh, no, no.

166
00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:08,541
- That's right! 200 meters!
- Don't be ridiculous.

167
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,208
That guy over there sells chorizo!

168
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:13,125
- You're all a bunch of vegan fanatics.
- You shouldn't be here!

169
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,458
Is there a problem here?

170
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,208
Meat-head over here selling pork shoulder,
which isn't sustainable.

171
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:20,791
If he wants, he can sell his poison
on another day, but not today.

172
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,476
- This bully's gotta go, he's crazy.
- Shut up, you piece of trash!

173
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,416
- I'm Recycle Man, asshole!
- Murderer.

174
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,083
Excuse me, man.

175
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:30,000
There are places to do... certain things
and places for other things.

176
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:30,958
True, right.

177
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:34,875
So I'm asking you, please, pretty please,
to go and come back another day.

178
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,416
You don't have
anything better to do, that it?

179
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,083
This park is packed with drug dealers.
Why don't you take care of that instead?

180
00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:44,226
- Well, that's for the police.
- Yeah? So what's your job then?

181
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,041
- Huh?
- We're watching the mallards.

182
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,458
The mallards?

183
00:08:47,541 --> 00:08:48,625
Okay, right, now I get it.

184
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,708
So mallards need Mr. Guard to feed them,
or they'll become wild animals.

185
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:52,958
He's making fun of you.

186
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:54,666
- You're an animal.
- Oh, dear God.

187
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,500
Do you even have
a license to be here, sir?

188
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,708
If not, I have to ask you to leave.

189
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,291
- That's what I'm talking about.
- That's very good.

190
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,125
- Thanks.
- Good, way to go!

191
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,291
It's clear none of you have actual jobs.

192
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,791
- Yes, that's how we do it. Bye!
- That's great, Feli.

193
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:12,041
- Very good.
- Well, it's nothing.

194
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,125
Good job.,

195
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,833
What am I supposed to do
with all this now?

196
00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,916
Oh, I wanna buy one of those, okay?

197
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.

198
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,666
When you're done,
pick up the petals, okay?

199
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,166
Guys, you cool?

200
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,333
Really great photos, huh?

201
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:33,166
Recyclable, organic!

202
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,333
- Okay? Listen to Recycle Man.
- There you go. Here.

203
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,541
There you go, good.

204
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,625
Where do you put that?

205
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,125
In here! Yeah! Okay!

206
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:41,088
How about we organize
ourselves a little better?

207
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,750
There's where you
exchange your cash for "sustain-coins".

208
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:48,250
And here, put in your order, grab it there
and then eat it over here. Are we clear?

209
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:51,083
It's nothing. We just need
a little organization, that's all.

210
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,184
- You're killing it man, yeah.
- Just doing my thing.

211
00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:54,848
Think you're ready to learn a nice trick.

212
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:57,000
- This is how you pin someone down.
- It hurts.

213
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,833
Yeah, that's the point. It hurts.

214
00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:01,375
Some say this is more effective than guns.
I prefer a pistol.

215
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,208
- I agree.
- Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

216
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:06,166
Is it alright that I stop you both?

217
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,416
- We gotta go to a hostage situation.
- Yeah.

218
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:11,000
I won't bother you then.
It's important what you're doing here.

219
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,000
- We're going.
- Yeah.

220
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,958
- Let me try a little.
- No...

221
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,458
Ah, the paint is still wet!

222
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:22,500
Stop it, why are you so obsessed?
They didn't paint your face, look.

223
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,223
I look like a criminal with a bad goatee.

224
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,583
Why wouldn't I be obsessed?

225
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,291
Because he pities me, he can't bully me.
That's it?

226
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,708
Come on, draw something on me, man.
Look at how stupid I look in that!

227
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:33,551
The one there has no paint.
Maybe he's tired.

228
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,708
There's no way he's tired!
He's just taking his time.

229
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,416
But he doesn't know about
the one thing I'm really good at.

230
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,500
Sitting and waiting.

231
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:43,375
I wanna be done with the drawing
and just go to a poetry jam.

232
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:45,791
I don't give a fuck
about the silly drawing, okay?

233
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,315
I'm waiting for this guy to show up.

234
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:51,208
Fine, baby, when you're able to chill,
just text me then, you got it?

235
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,291
- Where are you at?
- Watch out!

236
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,583
- Careful! Careful, hey bro!
- Oops!

237
00:10:56,666 --> 00:10:59,666
Look at all that mobility go to waste.
Genius, huh?

238
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,333
Hey!

239
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,500
Beautiful.

240
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:19,583
Shh! Come here.

241
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:21,125
- What?
- Come here!

242
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:22,541
- What?
- Look.

243
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,291
LET'S RECYCLE!
LET'S HELP SAVE THE PLANET

244
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:25,791
Look, look. Watch that guy.

245
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,791
Take this. Look. Same guy, right?

246
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,041
That's the guy vandalizing the posters.

247
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,208
It's him, right?

248
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,875
- You think?
- Yeah, 100%.

249
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,250
Wanna help me out?

250
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:43,000
At least he should apologize. I'm sick
and tired of being taken for a fool.

251
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,041
Okay.

252
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,958
You go from the front,
and I'll go in back.

253
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,125
Move on him like pliers.

254
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,833
What-what's a plier?

255
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,833
Tac, tac!

256
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:54,541
What's up?

257
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:55,625
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

258
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:57,083
- Good.
- Oh, hey.

259
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,458
Do you recognize us?

260
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:01,541
Al Pacino and Stephen Hawking.

261
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:03,958
- And who is Stephen Hawking?
- Can I ask for a favor?

262
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,000
Will you open your bag
so I can check it out?

263
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,041
You've got a search warrant?

264
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,041
Man, look, all we want
is an apology. Okay?

265
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:15,125
It's one thing to do street art,
which we completely respect,

266
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,458
and another thing to insult us, get it?

267
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,351
I have no idea what you are
talking about, man. Beat it.

268
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,791
Oh, okay.

269
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:27,083
Hey, hey, hey! Dude! Hey!

270
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:29,416
What are you, crazy?

271
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,476
Hey! What are you doing?
Hey, hey, hey! What the...

272
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,666
- Thanks.
- Are you insane? What's wrong with you?

273
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,892
- You dropped this, man.
- Check if he's got a spray can.

274
00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:37,750
You can't go
through my stuff. Stop it!

275
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,875
No. No, no.

276
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:41,916
He's got a couple cellphones,

277
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,041
a little cocaine, a lot of molly,
but no... no spray cans.

278
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,875
What are you, a dealer, moron?

279
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,500
- What do we do?
- Take him to the station.

280
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:53,303
- Someone get in trouble there?
- Quiet, just keep painting, alright?

281
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:58,583
That's it.

282
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,375
Beautiful. Really good.

283
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,375
Move, lemme see.

284
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,041
My friend is gonna love it.

285
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,541
- You guys are weirdos, huh?
- Shh.

286
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,583
Draw another penis in her mouth.

287
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,458
Freeze!
Freeze or I'll shoot you!

288
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:16,000
- Thanks, dude.
- Sure. Anytime.

289
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,958
- Yeah.
- Hey, I took a little bit.

290
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,684
- I don't know if...
- It's fine, don't tell.

291
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,750
- No? No?
- Don't tell me. Just go.

292
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:23,708
Appreciate it.

293
00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,833
I already told the cops.

294
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:30,541
They were at a barbecue,
but no way they'll believe this.

295
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:33,500
You won't get a pat on the back
for catching me. I'm just a freelancer.

296
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,250
Wanna tell us who your boss is?

297
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,583
I work for Woppy.

298
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,166
Do you take pride in your work?

299
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,708
Better than what you guys do here.

300
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,750
At least I provide a service.
I'm not living off the State though.

301
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:46,625
I don't mean to disrespect you.

302
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,500
I appreciate what you do.
You're very brave.

303
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,833
Ooh, a service?

304
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,041
A service?

305
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,250
Alright, let's see what kind of service.

306
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,333
Alright, uh...

307
00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:58,166
- Well...
- Mmm. Mmm.

308
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,166
You call this adulterated shit a service?

309
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,791
I'm sorry, but I don't think
you're my target customer.

310
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,791
Ah, because I'm handicapped,
I know nothing about drugs?

311
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:09,708
Do you know how much codeine, Tramadol
and painkillers I have in my blood?

312
00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:12,083
I know. I'm sure you had
a very tough life, I apologize.

313
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,083
No.

314
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,791
- It wasn't that tough.
- My bad.

315
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:20,375
But, I do know enough to realize
a few little things like, for example...

316
00:14:22,666 --> 00:14:25,666
...that this stuff you're selling
is complete shit.

317
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,750
- You snort funny. Do you want a bill?
- No. I like it bareback.

318
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,416
Yeah. Yeah.

319
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Oh, boy.

320
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:38,666
This is very bad.

321
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:39,875
It's really bad.

322
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,916
Is this what you want
your children to use?

323
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,458
Huh? Just work with us, okay?

324
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,041
Give us a name. Okay?

325
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:49,416
- I dunno, uh... I dunno.
- Well, you gonna speak or keep quiet?

326
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,500
Huh?

327
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,208
Powder.

328
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,916
Hey, chill out, bro.

329
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,541
If you don't...
if you don't want to talk,

330
00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,333
we're not going to force you, okay?!

331
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:00,333
I mean you can...

332
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:02,136
you're free to do whatever
you want, got it?

333
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,666
Oh man, what are we doing?
Good urban guard, bad urban guard?

334
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,500
- I bet you're the good one.
- Know what?

335
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,875
- Hey, no.
- I've had it with you. You pissed me off.

336
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,833
Do you need help there?

337
00:15:11,916 --> 00:15:13,583
No. Everything's crammed in here.

338
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,750
Okay, what's going on here?

339
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,392
Nothing, we're just interrogating
this guy that was selling drugs.

340
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,625
All good? How's it going?

341
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,250
What is this? Are you insane?

342
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,208
Hey. No, we can't be doing this.
We're not the police.

343
00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:25,750
- Yeah, it's obvious.
- No, man, we are urban guards!

344
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,208
What... what, what's so...?
Wipe your nose, Feli.

345
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:31,041
- What's obvious?
- Nothing, that these guys aren't cops.

346
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,375
- Is it now? Wait.
- Mm-hm.

347
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,416
Violence gets you nowhere, guys, so-

348
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,500
- Exactly! Don't use violence!
- But violence...

349
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,767
- Don't ever use violence!
- Alright, enough, Feli! Okay.

350
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:41,916
But, sometimes, there are
other methods that can be helpful.

351
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,041
So then, here's what
we're gonna do right now.

352
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:49,958
I'm gonna ask you to take this pencil
and draw a tree, a person, and a house.

353
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:50,875
Go ahead.

354
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,166
And how's that helpful?

355
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,541
Enough.

356
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,625
No. Okay.

357
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:58,875
Oh, wow.

358
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,000
What's wrong? Was daddy not around much?

359
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,392
I'm sorry, but can we get
a real officer to interrogate me?

360
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:08,166
We'll be done and you can go back
to getting paid without doing work.

361
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
- Ah, without doing work. Alright.
- Yeah.

362
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,833
No! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!

363
00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:14,333
- Who's your boss?!
- Stop!

364
00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:16,083
Come on! Who do you work for?

365
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:18,041
- Stop!
- Describe that Woppy guy.

366
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:21,666
I don't know what you want me to say!
He's bald, got a scar on his forehead!

367
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,710
- He's about 50 years old!
- What is this, Miguel?

368
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,791
Uh, we were just interrogating
this male subject.

369
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,875
He was in the park dealing narcotics.

370
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:35,250
It got a little out of hand.
The guys got carried away...

371
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,708
Are you nuts? It doesn't work like this.

372
00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:40,166
There's a D.A.,
a procedure to follow. And this...

373
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,791
is an illegal detention.
You have no authority for this.

374
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,166
You are municipal employees.

375
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,500
They did a full search.

376
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,791
We could get a complaint for this.
For abuse of authority.

377
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,250
Now, thanks to you, we have to let him go.

378
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,958
We were onto him, Mike.
He sells the best blow on the block.

379
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:57,333
For seven bags of blow,
you fucked up our investigation.

380
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,750
Alright, uh...

381
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,666
I'm gonna go now, guys, so, thanks!

382
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,083
Listen up.

383
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:06,666
For your sake and for this division,
you're suspended.

384
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,333
- No.
- Next time, you're out.

385
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:10,583
Alright. Okay.

386
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:13,750
I have some pork in the car,
four or five...

387
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,791
- You're really high.
- Huh? What'd you say?

388
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,308
I gotta say you're really funny
when you try to act like a badass.

389
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,041
We make a good team, you and I, huh?

390
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:26,500
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

391
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:34,666
HOW IS SEX WITH A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR

392
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,125
PREGNANCIES RISE IN ORGIES
IN REHAB CENTER

393
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,833
"COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR"
A REVEALING INTERVIEW

394
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,708
COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR

395
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,291
Hi!

396
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:49,125
- All good?
- Yeah, checking emails.

397
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,708
Emails? You shut that quick.

398
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:53,916
- What's going on? You're all good?
- Yeah.

399
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,291
Yeah, everything's fine, thankfully. Fine.

400
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,208
- You showed up unannounced. Good.
- Yeah.

401
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,625
No, I tried calling,
but your number's out of service so...

402
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:02,125
Huh, right, it's just uh...

403
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,125
I just uh, switched to
another company, ya know?

404
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,458
I got a new phone too.

405
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,166
- Want something to eat? Not hungry, but...
- No, don't bother.

406
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,290
I brought your car keys,
I'm gonna grab the toaster.

407
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:11,458
- Oh!
- Okay?

408
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,125
Okay, but... but what's going on?

409
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:17,416
It'd be nice to know what
we're doing with this break. Like, uh...

410
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,833
Are we gonna break
up for good or try again?

411
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,666
Um... let's break up, that's fine.

412
00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,250
Or we could give it some more thought.

413
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,583
No, no, you're right. Let's just split.

414
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:31,333
Okay, then, you know what? I'm gonna ask
that next time you come to my house,

415
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:33,176
you ring the doorbell
and give me a heads-up.

416
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,476
But why's it your house?
I'm the one who found this place,

417
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,583
I signed the lease, and I'm staying over
at my sister's small condo.

418
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:42,250
Okay. If you wanna keep it, just tell me.
No big deal. I'll find somewhere else.

419
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,333
Alright then.

420
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,458
- So you want me to leave tonight?
- Yes.

421
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,741
- You really want that?
- Yeah.

422
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,815
It was just a suggestion!
You don't have to take it literally.

423
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:52,434
- Ah, no! Well, if you could...
- No, it's fine! I'm leaving tonight!

424
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,625
Not a problem.
You want the couch too? Just keep it!

425
00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,708
- Oh, well, great.
- You wanna take this?

426
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,471
It's yours,
I don't even know what that is.

427
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,875
It's a Styrofoam stool!

428
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,458
- I don't get it.
- It was made by my sister!

429
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,916
- She designed it!
- Ah.

430
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,958
<i>It's from my dad's factory!</i>

431
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,833
<i>You can have my mom's food too,
it's in the freezer!</i>

432
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,041
<i>Great, yummy, thanks.
I can't wait to eat your mom's food.</i>

433
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:14,583
<i>Oh yay! And you know what?!</i>

434
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:17,333
<i>I moved the furniture around
to make the space more cohesive!</i>

435
00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:18,958
Ah, fuck my life!

436
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:23,666
I swear I really paid attention.
There were no pigs around.

437
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,375
But these two showed up,
in like a gas station uniform.

438
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,500
A handicapped chick and a freaky
skinny dude who looked kinda dead.

439
00:19:30,166 --> 00:19:32,166
They kept asking me who I worked for.

440
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,833
And what did you say?

441
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:34,916
Nothing really.

442
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,250
But they were nuts.

443
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,916
They took all of our blow
and criticized it as well.

444
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,208
They're right though.
Honestly, I'd prefer not to sell crap.

445
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:45,291
- I have a reputation to uphold.
- "Nothing really"?

446
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,750
Define what's "nothing really."

447
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:50,958
Well, uh, you know,
what I meant is, it's just...

448
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,875
Gabriel,
this Urban Guard guy is a problem.

449
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,125
He's messing with us.

450
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,541
Mm. Thanks, Mom.

451
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,333
I'll speak to Paula.

452
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,625
No, no, don't bother.

453
00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:19,583
So we better go now.

454
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,875
I have a spinning class
tomorrow at 8:00, okay?

455
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:22,958
Okay.

456
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,291
GREEN SPACES