1 00:00:01,082 --> 00:00:04,000 {fade}Corrections by Linus75 Sync by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:20,990 Todd! You're back, huh? 3 00:00:21,058 --> 00:00:23,064 How was management training? 4 00:00:23,132 --> 00:00:24,638 What happened? 5 00:00:24,705 --> 00:00:26,945 Um, where is everybody? 6 00:00:27,013 --> 00:00:28,518 Costs were through the roof. 7 00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:29,922 You know, pensions, health care. 8 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:31,795 We had to do a little right-sizing. 9 00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:33,501 There's no one here. 10 00:00:33,569 --> 00:00:36,409 Exactly. That's what makes us the right size. 11 00:00:36,477 --> 00:00:40,621 Yesterday, we outsourced the entire call center to India. 12 00:00:47,442 --> 00:00:49,010 "you bastard"? 13 00:00:49,078 --> 00:00:50,314 That's for me. 14 00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:51,450 Wait. Wait a minute. 15 00:00:51,517 --> 00:00:53,921 Jerry, I went through training 16 00:00:53,989 --> 00:00:56,594 specifically to run this call center. 17 00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:58,298 - I know. - And? 18 00:00:58,366 --> 00:01:00,369 We still want you to run the call center... 19 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:02,272 in India. 20 00:01:02,341 --> 00:01:03,710 Ha ha ha! 21 00:01:03,777 --> 00:01:06,682 You want me to go to ? 22 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,756 Todd, if you do this for the company, 23 00:01:09,823 --> 00:01:13,263 we're gonna bump you up to Vice President. 24 00:01:14,835 --> 00:01:17,540 And if you don't, well, we're already the right size. 25 00:01:17,608 --> 00:01:19,143 There are no more positions here. 26 00:01:19,211 --> 00:01:20,981 Wait, so you're saying, go to India, 27 00:01:21,049 --> 00:01:22,418 or I'm out of a job? 28 00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,521 Mm-hmm. Oh. 29 00:01:24,589 --> 00:01:26,693 I worked hard for this company. 30 00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:28,431 I was the best salesman. 31 00:01:28,499 --> 00:01:29,700 And you know what? 32 00:01:29,768 --> 00:01:31,102 Who's to say I'm not gonna go out there 33 00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:34,009 and start my own novelties company, huh? 34 00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:36,449 Don't you owe, like, 40 grand in student loans? 35 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,328 Whoa! 36 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,267 Oh, man, this is insane! 37 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:50,339 It's like... it's like frogger, but with real people. 38 00:01:52,476 --> 00:01:54,244 Before we arrive, I took the liberty 39 00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:56,078 Of having these name tags made. 40 00:01:56,146 --> 00:01:58,882 Oh. "Todd Dempsey: Manager." 41 00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,752 Wow. Thank you, Rajiv. 42 00:02:00,819 --> 00:02:02,020 Thank you very much. 43 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,022 My pleasure, sir. 44 00:02:05,594 --> 00:02:06,595 Yours says manager, too. 45 00:02:06,662 --> 00:02:07,930 You are most perceptive. 46 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,499 As they say in America, 47 00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,469 "your elevator goes to the penthouse." 48 00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:13,172 We don't really say that. 49 00:02:13,239 --> 00:02:15,008 I think you do. 50 00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:17,545 Why does yours say manager, too? 51 00:02:17,613 --> 00:02:19,782 Oh, I'm simply planning ahead. 52 00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:21,485 You see, after you return to America, 53 00:02:21,553 --> 00:02:23,254 I will become manager of the call center. 54 00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:25,290 I thought to myself, why print a name tag 55 00:02:25,358 --> 00:02:26,759 that says "assistant manager" 56 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,128 when it is only a matter of time 57 00:02:28,196 --> 00:02:30,599 before you triumph here and make a glorious homecoming? 58 00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:34,371 Oh, wow. So you've got it all figured out, huh? 59 00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:37,209 After I become manager, my salary will increase enough 60 00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:39,379 that I will be able to move out of my parents' apartment 61 00:02:39,447 --> 00:02:40,714 and finally marry Vimi. 62 00:02:40,782 --> 00:02:42,884 It seems our fates are tied, sir. 63 00:02:42,952 --> 00:02:44,820 Your triumphs are my triumphs. 64 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,023 Your victories are my victories. 65 00:02:47,091 --> 00:02:48,993 We need a victory. 66 00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:09,021 Indian man: Okay, thank you very much, please. Good-bye. 67 00:03:13,796 --> 00:03:15,030 Come now! 68 00:03:15,098 --> 00:03:18,068 You are paid to work, not to sit around doing chitchat! 69 00:03:18,136 --> 00:03:22,675 It is my great pleasure to introduce Mr. Todd Dempsey. 70 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,149 Hello. Hello, everyone. 71 00:03:28,217 --> 00:03:30,286 I'm, uh, really... 72 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:38,061 I'm, uh... looking forward 73 00:03:38,129 --> 00:03:40,498 to working with all of you as your manager, 74 00:03:40,566 --> 00:03:44,134 so, uh, let's get to know one another, okay? 75 00:03:44,202 --> 00:03:46,635 - My name is Gupta... - Hello. 76 00:03:46,703 --> 00:03:48,337 - Hi. Todd. - Manindra. 77 00:03:48,404 --> 00:03:50,272 M... nice name. 78 00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:54,108 Hello. Uh...Okay. 79 00:03:54,176 --> 00:03:57,344 Hello. Um, and your name is, uh... 80 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,345 Madhuri. 81 00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,345 What? Excuse me? 82 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,013 Madhuri. 83 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:02,447 Just a little louder this time. 84 00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:03,815 Ahem. 85 00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:05,283 Madhuri. 86 00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:07,217 I'm sorry, I'm not... 87 00:04:07,285 --> 00:04:08,618 Uh, moving on. 88 00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:10,420 She works the phones? Really? 89 00:04:10,488 --> 00:04:11,488 - Hi. Hello. - Oh. 90 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:12,488 I'm Manmeet. 91 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:13,656 Man-meat? 92 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,924 Yes, Manmeet. 93 00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:17,159 Your name is man-meat? 94 00:04:17,227 --> 00:04:18,461 Yes. 95 00:04:18,528 --> 00:04:21,863 Well, guess it must be hard to chat on the internet 96 00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:25,100 with a name like man-meat. 97 00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:27,568 All right, we will talk later. 98 00:04:27,636 --> 00:04:29,270 Okay. 99 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,604 Hello. 100 00:04:30,672 --> 00:04:32,472 Hello. I'm Asha. 101 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,841 Ah, nice to meet you, Asha. 102 00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:36,476 That is a pretty name. 103 00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,044 Thank you. 104 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,611 It means "hope". 105 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,946 Really? Well, 106 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:45,016 in that case, I "asha" to get to know you better. 107 00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:49,286 Hope to get to know you. 108 00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:50,687 Yes, I understand. 109 00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:53,023 - All right. - My name is Gupta... 110 00:04:53,091 --> 00:04:56,226 I will get to know the rest of you throughout the day. 111 00:04:56,294 --> 00:04:59,830 The phones are switching over later. 112 00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,587 And, oh, in the meantime, 113 00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:06,456 I'm not sure what religion you guys are, 114 00:05:06,524 --> 00:05:08,391 but this is your new bible. 115 00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:13,562 And the first commandment is know this catalog. 116 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,931 Sir, if I may, I would like to show you 117 00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:18,132 to our offices in the executive suite. 118 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,566 Please follow me. 119 00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,337 Here we are. 120 00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:27,072 Whoa! 121 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,673 There's a cow. 122 00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:31,208 You gotta be kidding me. 123 00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:33,543 Yes, the cow is considered sacred. 124 00:05:33,611 --> 00:05:34,810 It can go where it pleases. 125 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,544 Really? Wow. 126 00:05:36,612 --> 00:05:40,481 Well, I guess you don't have to go far for the creamer. 127 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,282 Please do not touch the cow. 128 00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:43,717 Of course not. 129 00:05:43,785 --> 00:05:46,820 I know it must be difficult for you Americans to understand, 130 00:05:46,887 --> 00:05:48,889 since you eat hamburgers morning, noon, and night. 131 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,559 You are so wealthy, you practically bathe in meat. 132 00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,060 Whoa, where do you get your news, man? 133 00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:55,664 But for us Hindus, the cow is not a source of meat. 134 00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:58,199 It is sacred because of the milk it brings. 135 00:05:58,267 --> 00:05:59,901 Muslims and Jews do not eat pigs. 136 00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:01,235 We do not eat cows. Is it so crazy? 137 00:06:01,303 --> 00:06:03,938 Yeah, Rajiv, I get it. 138 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:05,506 The cow is not a source of meat. 139 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:06,907 It is a religious thing. 140 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,175 You know, I'm gonna respect your traditions. 141 00:06:11,812 --> 00:06:13,179 So what time is lunch? 142 00:06:23,255 --> 00:06:26,356 Okay, uh, just give me some of that... 143 00:06:26,423 --> 00:06:28,357 Yellow and green stuff. 144 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,135 Hey, are you American? 145 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:46,570 Saddle up. 146 00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:47,705 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 147 00:06:47,772 --> 00:06:48,772 Yeah. 148 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,207 Charlie Davies. 149 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:51,908 I run the call center for All American Hunter. 150 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,375 Todd Dempsey. 151 00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,211 I'm running the call center for Mid America Novelties. 152 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,579 - Oh. - Just started today. 153 00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:58,380 Yeah, that's what I figured. 154 00:06:58,447 --> 00:06:59,914 What? 155 00:06:59,982 --> 00:07:02,585 You got the pepper thing. 156 00:07:02,652 --> 00:07:04,153 - So? - Do you hate your own ass? 157 00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,288 Really? It's that spicy? 158 00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:09,623 If you eat that, you'll be crapping yourself for five days. 159 00:07:09,691 --> 00:07:12,092 Not talking about two days or three days 160 00:07:12,159 --> 00:07:14,793 or four and a little... 161 00:07:14,861 --> 00:07:17,495 I'm talking about five full days. 162 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,863 Here. 163 00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:22,566 Jiffy peanut butter and smucker's grape jelly. 164 00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,334 I get it shipped from home. 165 00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:26,402 Cheetos, hostess cupcake, 166 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:27,770 and my backup sandwich, 167 00:07:27,837 --> 00:07:30,138 honey-glazed ham and good old American cheese. 168 00:07:30,206 --> 00:07:32,274 As far as I'm concerned, you're not a world power 169 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,576 until you've got a cheese named after your country. 170 00:07:34,644 --> 00:07:37,412 So the superpowers are us, the Swiss... 171 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,781 I'm not into politics, okay? 172 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,616 Okay. 173 00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:43,784 Well, thanks, um... 174 00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:45,785 But I'm sure I'll find some indian food 175 00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:46,820 that I like eventually. 176 00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:48,421 Yeah, if you last that long. 177 00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:49,955 What's that supposed to mean? 178 00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:53,291 Look, no offense, but I've seen it a million times. 179 00:07:53,358 --> 00:07:55,325 Guys get homesick, they can't hack it here, 180 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:56,659 so they quit and go back to the States. 181 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,995 Well, I don't have a job to go back to. 182 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,462 I have to make this . 183 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,631 Well, you better hope you've got some decent employees. 184 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,799 Aren't all the workers kind of the same? 185 00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:06,701 Not even close. 186 00:08:06,769 --> 00:08:08,603 There's an "A" team and a "B" team. 187 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:10,104 How do you tell the difference? 188 00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,072 Well, that's the "A" team over there. 189 00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:13,907 They all work for the big boys, like Intel and app. 190 00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,275 They've all been to the States. 191 00:08:15,343 --> 00:08:16,743 They've even studied all our different accents. 192 00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:17,943 No way. 193 00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,646 Hey, you, come here. 194 00:08:20,713 --> 00:08:22,581 Yes, what is it? 195 00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:23,582 Tell me something. 196 00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:25,083 You know what grits are? 197 00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,986 Well, grits is just ground up corn. 198 00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:30,321 I tell you what, my Mama used to make the best grits. 199 00:08:30,389 --> 00:08:31,422 All right. 200 00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:32,756 I'd be sittin' on the front porch 201 00:08:32,824 --> 00:08:34,291 with my hound dog, freedom, sippin' on some sweet... 202 00:08:34,359 --> 00:08:36,059 All right, enough! 203 00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:38,228 Y'all take care. 204 00:08:38,295 --> 00:08:40,263 Creepy, isn't it? 205 00:08:40,331 --> 00:08:41,964 It's like they're pod people or something. 206 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:44,666 Is that your group over there? 207 00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:48,670 Yeah, they probably don't know squat about America. 208 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,538 Looks like you got the "B" team, my friend. 209 00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:53,274 I wouldn't unpack if I were you. 210 00:08:53,342 --> 00:08:56,042 G'day, mate. 211 00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,780 That's Tonya. 212 00:08:57,848 --> 00:09:00,193 She runs the call center for Koala Airlines. 213 00:09:00,261 --> 00:09:01,802 That is some grade "A" Aussie right there. 214 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:03,170 She is, uh... 215 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,338 They got that accent, they're all outdoorsy, 216 00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:07,640 and they're all descended from convicts. 217 00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,809 God, I love Australian women. 218 00:09:09,876 --> 00:09:11,377 So what's her story? 219 00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:12,677 Ah, don't waste your time, man. 220 00:09:12,745 --> 00:09:13,812 I've seen her here for months. 221 00:09:13,879 --> 00:09:15,713 She hasn't said two words to me. 222 00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:17,215 Hi. 223 00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:19,850 I'm guessing you're a new bloke. 224 00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:22,353 Uh, yeah. 225 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,321 I just started today. 226 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,656 - Tonya. - Todd. 227 00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:26,924 Just thought I'd come and say hi. 228 00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:29,292 You ever need a chat, just drop by the office. 229 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,094 You need all the mates you can get out here in woop woop. 230 00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:32,661 Woop woop? 231 00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:34,897 Sorry, that's Aussie for out in the middle of nowhere. 232 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,132 I think you Yanks say out in the sticks. 233 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,433 Oh, no, I like woop woop. 234 00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:40,001 It's fun to say. 235 00:09:40,069 --> 00:09:41,203 Woop woop. 236 00:09:42,438 --> 00:09:43,438 Woop woop! 237 00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:45,607 It is fun. 238 00:09:45,675 --> 00:09:47,976 Well, um, cheers. 239 00:10:01,152 --> 00:10:02,585 Oh, no. 240 00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,620 Oh, did you read the paper? There was a... 241 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,988 Please don't come in here. 242 00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:07,256 What's the matter with him? 243 00:10:07,323 --> 00:10:09,358 He won't stop talking. 244 00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,259 Believe me, you don't want to get stuck with Gupta. 245 00:10:11,327 --> 00:10:14,428 Oh, yeah, we had a guy like that back in my old office. 246 00:10:14,496 --> 00:10:15,429 Ed Millner. 247 00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:16,764 He'd never shut up. 248 00:10:16,831 --> 00:10:19,066 You got stuck with him in the break room, forget it. 249 00:10:19,133 --> 00:10:20,267 You couldn't shake him. 250 00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:21,769 So how did you handle it? 251 00:10:23,939 --> 00:10:25,606 Hello, you... 252 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,176 Where did... 253 00:10:30,811 --> 00:10:32,545 Oh, okay. 254 00:10:34,816 --> 00:10:36,750 Yeah, back home, we had a bigger pantry. 255 00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:45,557 Do you know any redheads? 256 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,859 Excuse me? 257 00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:49,527 I'm looking for a wife, 258 00:10:49,594 --> 00:10:52,096 and I like redheads. 259 00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:54,464 And blondes. 260 00:10:54,532 --> 00:10:55,899 Dark hair, too. 261 00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:57,967 So, all women? 262 00:10:58,035 --> 00:11:00,436 Yes, all of them. 263 00:11:00,504 --> 00:11:02,738 Well, my ex-girlfriend was actually a redhead. 264 00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:03,972 - Ex-girlfriend? - Yeah. 265 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,006 Did she say no? 266 00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:07,609 Not usually. 267 00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:08,743 Say no to what? 268 00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:10,411 When you asked her to marry you. 269 00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:12,246 Oh, I didn't ask her to marry me. 270 00:11:12,314 --> 00:11:13,347 We were just dating. 271 00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:15,081 Dating until you get married, nah? 272 00:11:15,149 --> 00:11:16,249 No. 273 00:11:16,317 --> 00:11:19,418 No, no, you see, Manmeet, in America, 274 00:11:19,486 --> 00:11:20,820 you date someone for a while 275 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,721 Before you decide if you want to get married. 276 00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:24,289 Right? You date a woman, 277 00:11:24,357 --> 00:11:27,158 it doesn't work out, you date another one, 278 00:11:27,226 --> 00:11:29,694 and then another one, and so on. 279 00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:32,363 Okay. 280 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,364 I realize that sounds kind of meaningless, but... 281 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,633 It sounds wonderful. 282 00:11:39,269 --> 00:11:41,604 Did you read that story in the paper about the inchworms 283 00:11:41,671 --> 00:11:43,139 That are both male and female? 284 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,240 No. 285 00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:45,641 They have both the boy and girl parts, 286 00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:46,942 Just like my Auntie Nilu, 287 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,943 which comes in handy when she goes to the cinema, 288 00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:50,478 because she can use either bathroom. 289 00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:53,147 She can sit, she can stand. It's a matter of convenience. 290 00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:03,955 Aah! 291 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,256 Aah! 292 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,690 The Novelties are here. 293 00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:10,193 Blood puddle. Page 21. 294 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,062 Sweet. 295 00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:15,666 The key to our success is selling add-ons. 296 00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,369 You know, somebody calls to buy a product, 297 00:12:18,436 --> 00:12:21,504 we suggest a related product for them to buy as an add-on. 298 00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:27,877 So let's say somebody calls and they want to buy this, right? 299 00:12:27,945 --> 00:12:29,778 Green bay packers' colors, 300 00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:33,548 might want to suggest that they also buy... 301 00:12:33,615 --> 00:12:34,815 A cheese head. 302 00:12:34,883 --> 00:12:36,650 What is a cheese head? 303 00:12:36,718 --> 00:12:39,986 You put this on when you're roong for the packers. 304 00:12:41,955 --> 00:12:45,023 All right, all right, all right. 305 00:12:45,091 --> 00:12:48,092 Let's not make fun of each other's headgear, right? 306 00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:49,259 I mean, you guys have got 307 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,260 some pretty crazy-looking hats yourselves. 308 00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,799 Mostly on the women, though. 309 00:12:57,867 --> 00:12:59,000 Sir? 310 00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,868 Uh, Todd. 311 00:13:00,935 --> 00:13:04,604 Todd, I think the problem we're having here 312 00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:06,972 is that even if we memorize the catalog, 313 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,908 what we are memorizing makes no sense to us. 314 00:13:09,976 --> 00:13:11,744 What do you mean, it doesn't make sense? 315 00:13:11,811 --> 00:13:14,379 Well, for example, here is the mistletoe novelty. 316 00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:17,382 Even if I memorize the item number, 317 00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:18,716 that won't help me, 318 00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:20,617 because I don't know what a mistletoe is. 319 00:13:20,685 --> 00:13:22,085 Okay. Well, 320 00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:24,853 mistletoe is something that you put up at a Christmas party. 321 00:13:24,921 --> 00:13:27,389 It's like a shrub, and you hang it in a doorway, 322 00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:31,727 and you wait for a really hot woman to come along. 323 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,696 You surprise her by standing next to her under the mistletoe, 324 00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:37,630 and it's a little awkward, but she has to kiss you... 325 00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:39,131 By law. 326 00:13:39,199 --> 00:13:40,332 - No! - Mm. 327 00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:44,968 Then what is this mistletoe belt buckle? 328 00:13:45,036 --> 00:13:47,403 Oh, that's pretty clever. 329 00:13:47,471 --> 00:13:51,606 So you're supposed to kiss under the mistletoe, right? 330 00:13:51,674 --> 00:13:53,007 So if you wore that, 331 00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,878 Someone would have to kiss you... down there. 332 00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,547 Ohh! 333 00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:59,250 This is how you celebrate the birthday 334 00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:00,918 Of the son of your God? 335 00:14:00,985 --> 00:14:04,254 Americans, we can have fun and be holy at the same time. 336 00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:05,655 Next question. 337 00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:07,390 Why do Americans need these things? 338 00:14:07,457 --> 00:14:09,191 Ah. We don't. 339 00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:10,425 Then what is the purpose? 340 00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:12,260 There is no purpose. 341 00:14:12,328 --> 00:14:15,729 In America, you can do whatever you want. 342 00:14:15,797 --> 00:14:18,732 You could be the President, or a scientist, 343 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,368 or you could even invent... 344 00:14:22,436 --> 00:14:25,138 novelties like... 345 00:14:25,205 --> 00:14:27,273 What is that, man? 346 00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:29,875 This? This is exactly what I'm talking about. 347 00:14:29,943 --> 00:14:31,877 See, maybe no one needs this, 348 00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:35,815 but in America, no one can stop you from making it. 349 00:14:35,882 --> 00:14:38,551 This is the definition of freedom. 350 00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:39,986 This is "jingle jugs." 351 00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:45,325 Good one. 352 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,294 Oh, here we go, guys. 353 00:14:49,362 --> 00:14:50,595 Todd, I'll take it. 354 00:14:50,663 --> 00:14:53,463 Yeah. Go for it. Go for it. 355 00:14:54,832 --> 00:14:57,199 Thank you for calling Mid Novelties. 356 00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,333 How can I help you? 357 00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,768 Yeah, I want that mug on page six. 358 00:15:00,836 --> 00:15:01,801 Of course. 359 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,169 Can I please have the item number? 360 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,304 Oh, yeah. Uh, okay, let's see. 361 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,941 Uh... It's 256-kpr. 362 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,776 That's 256, "k" as in Krishna, "p" as in Punjabi, 363 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,511 "r" as in Ramayana. 364 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,446 Ram-rama-what? 365 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,382 Where am I calling? 366 00:15:18,449 --> 00:15:19,716 Is this India? 367 00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:20,984 No. 368 00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,585 Am I calling freakin' India to get a mug 369 00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:24,153 that says "America's 370 00:15:24,221 --> 00:15:26,255 No. 371 00:15:26,323 --> 00:15:27,723 We're in Detroit, 372 00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:29,391 city of motors and black people. 373 00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:33,028 Okay. 374 00:15:33,095 --> 00:15:35,363 Well, let's, um... 375 00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:36,564 Let's take a five. 376 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,332 Rajiv, can I...? 377 00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,702 I have a question about the workers. 378 00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,503 Don't worry, sir, I have a plan. 379 00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:46,805 I've hired one employee specifically to be fired. 380 00:15:48,408 --> 00:15:50,242 This will scare the others into working harder. 381 00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:51,876 No, no, no, I'm not gonna fire someone 382 00:15:51,944 --> 00:15:53,177 just to make the others scared. 383 00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,978 She doesn't belong here anyway. 384 00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,313 She is of a lower caste. 385 00:15:56,381 --> 00:15:58,283 Yeah, well, my question is about all the workers. 386 00:15:58,351 --> 00:16:00,752 I mean... 387 00:16:00,819 --> 00:16:03,988 Are these really the best workers that you could find? 388 00:16:04,055 --> 00:16:06,090 Sir, 389 00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:07,991 are you suggesting I hired lesser employees 390 00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:08,992 to make you look bad? 391 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,259 No, of course not. 392 00:16:10,327 --> 00:16:11,794 Why would you do that? 393 00:16:11,861 --> 00:16:13,128 I mean, if I can't make this office work, 394 00:16:13,196 --> 00:16:15,729 they're gonna get rid of me. 395 00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:17,831 In which case, they will need a new manager. 396 00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:19,833 Perhaps they'll try a local. 397 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,268 Rajiv, I thought you were on my side. 398 00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:23,836 I thought my success was your success. 399 00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:25,303 It is. 400 00:16:25,371 --> 00:16:27,205 But also, your failure is my success. 401 00:16:27,272 --> 00:16:29,674 Either way, I'm rooting for you. 402 00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:31,142 Big fan. 403 00:16:31,209 --> 00:16:32,744 Big fan. 404 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:56,147 I've always wanted a pet. 405 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,616 Bad dog! 406 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,083 Rover. 407 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,485 Okay, guys. 408 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,154 It's a farting garden gnome. 409 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,456 It's pretty cool, huh? 410 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,491 Okay, here's the deal. 411 00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:10,093 So Asha was right. 412 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,927 Even if you guys memorize the catalog, 413 00:17:11,995 --> 00:17:14,862 you're not really getting the cultural stuff. 414 00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,931 So it's time you guys learned about America. 415 00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:21,534 Put that coffee down! 416 00:17:21,602 --> 00:17:24,170 Coffee's for closers only. 417 00:18:07,773 --> 00:18:08,774 No. 418 00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,244 - No, just, just... - what? 419 00:18:10,311 --> 00:18:12,214 We're just... no. 420 00:18:13,786 --> 00:18:16,219 All right, these phones are gonna start ringing soon, 421 00:18:16,287 --> 00:18:19,922 and we have to do better than yesterday, all right? 422 00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:22,658 We have to start pushing those add-ons, 423 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,292 or we're all gonna be out of a job. 424 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,159 Look, we may not be the cream of the crop. 425 00:18:28,227 --> 00:18:30,529 We're more like the bad news bears. 426 00:18:32,801 --> 00:18:34,468 No one knows who the bad news bears were? 427 00:18:34,536 --> 00:18:38,572 Sir, I would venture to say that they are bears, 428 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,675 who, when they come into town, it is very bad news indeed. 429 00:18:41,743 --> 00:18:43,076 No. 430 00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:44,812 Because they are bears. 431 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,347 No. 432 00:18:46,414 --> 00:18:48,182 Who wants a bear in their village? 433 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,751 No, Rajiv, it's a movie. 434 00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:54,021 It's a movie about a baseball team with a bunch of losers. 435 00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,824 Are we the losers in this story? 436 00:18:56,892 --> 00:18:58,226 Yes. 437 00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:01,062 No. No! No, no. 438 00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,764 Because my point is that everyone 439 00:19:02,832 --> 00:19:04,232 thought they were losers 440 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,101 until they proved people wrong, 441 00:19:07,169 --> 00:19:10,271 and that is exactly what you are gonna do. 442 00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:11,806 So, by the end of today, 443 00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:15,375 I want everyone, and I mean everyone, 444 00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:18,143 to sell one add-on. 445 00:19:18,211 --> 00:19:20,309 Or what? 446 00:19:20,377 --> 00:19:22,809 There is no "or what," 447 00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:24,944 'cause I believe you're gonna do it. 448 00:19:25,012 --> 00:19:28,147 Sir, if you like the beer helmet, 449 00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:29,982 we also have a t-shirt which says, 450 00:19:30,049 --> 00:19:32,150 "beer makes my clothes fall off." 451 00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:35,220 I'm wearing one right now. 452 00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:37,121 No, you're a liar. 453 00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:39,256 Let me read that item number back to you. 454 00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:41,125 That's 732-grf. 455 00:19:41,192 --> 00:19:42,559 "g" as in goodfellas, 456 00:19:42,627 --> 00:19:43,927 "r" as in raging bull, 457 00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:46,663 "f" as in... Forgetaboutit. 458 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,134 Sir, we have that in stock. 459 00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:53,468 Many of our customers who bought 460 00:19:53,536 --> 00:19:54,903 our confederate flag shot glasses 461 00:19:54,971 --> 00:19:57,472 also purchased a deer head which you can mount on the wall. 462 00:19:57,539 --> 00:19:59,640 Why would I mount a deer I didn't shoot? 463 00:19:59,708 --> 00:20:02,642 Because this deer sings Sweet home Alabama. 464 00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:05,389 Okay, now, that's funny. 465 00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:07,025 Your cheese heads are on the way. 466 00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:10,294 Okay, who hasn't sold an add-on yet? 467 00:20:22,203 --> 00:20:24,170 Mid America Novelties, how can I help you? 468 00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:25,938 Hello? 469 00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:27,473 How can I help you? 470 00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:30,475 Hello? Hello! 471 00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:32,910 Is anyone there? 472 00:20:32,977 --> 00:20:34,311 Hello! 473 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,412 How can I help you? 474 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,247 Hi. Yeah, I'd like to order the fake dog poo. 475 00:20:40,315 --> 00:20:42,048 Wonderful choice. 476 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,517 Yeah, my roommate's really getting on my nerves, you know. 477 00:20:44,585 --> 00:20:45,951 I just wanna freak him out. 478 00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:48,186 In that case, could I also interest you 479 00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:51,358 in our fake vomit on page 23, lower left hand of the page? 480 00:20:51,426 --> 00:20:55,063 Mm, I don't know. This vomit, does it look real? 481 00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:57,499 Well, it makes me sick to look at it. 482 00:20:57,566 --> 00:20:59,634 Hmm. 483 00:20:59,701 --> 00:21:01,535 Okay. Yeah, sure, fine. Why not? 484 00:21:01,603 --> 00:21:02,670 I'll get the vomit, too. 485 00:21:02,737 --> 00:21:05,605 Okay! 486 00:21:05,673 --> 00:21:08,007 I knew you could do it. I knew it. 487 00:21:08,075 --> 00:21:09,475 Why are people clapping? 488 00:21:09,543 --> 00:21:11,410 Oh, get the credit card info. 489 00:21:11,477 --> 00:21:13,345 Oh, sir? 490 00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:15,280 How would you like to pay for your vomit and your poo? 491 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,453 So you survived another day. 492 00:21:24,521 --> 00:21:26,322 Yeah. 493 00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:29,291 Looks like you're stuck with me for a while. 494 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:30,659 I guess so. 495 00:21:42,002 --> 00:21:43,636 Just for morale, you know? 496 00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:46,272 Go for it. 497 00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:47,606 Yeah. 498 00:22:06,654 --> 00:22:12,654 {fade}Corrections by Linus75 Sync by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com