1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:05,045 Number 203 on my list- 2 00:00:05,147 --> 00:00:09,345 stole various snacks and drinks from the local Quick Stop. 3 00:00:09,451 --> 00:00:11,851 Of course, that was before I turned my life around. 4 00:00:11,953 --> 00:00:15,047 Luckily, Randy still had a stealing jacket... 5 00:00:15,157 --> 00:00:17,648 and we had no problem sneaking the stuffback in. 6 00:00:20,962 --> 00:00:22,964 All right. Well, I guess I can cross this one off. 7 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:27,398 Hold on a second. I gotta put these back in the little hot dog Ferris wheel. 8 00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:31,499 Oh, my God! 9 00:00:31,606 --> 00:00:33,972 - What are you doin'? - Natalie Duckworth is over there. 10 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,566 - Who? - Natalie Duckworth, number 84. 11 00:00:36,678 --> 00:00:41,342 About seven years ago, the Crab Shack was rented out for a biker party. 12 00:00:41,449 --> 00:00:45,078 No one hassled me at the door, so I came in and learned a new phrase- 13 00:00:45,187 --> 00:00:47,087 open bar. 14 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,321 - Beer, please. - Make it two. 15 00:01:01,169 --> 00:01:05,265 I decided then and there that I did, in fact, wanna ride. 16 00:01:05,373 --> 00:01:08,171 - After what some might call a few too many beers- - Yeah, mama! 17 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:11,336 we went back to her house and had a really good time in the dark. 18 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,573 Then it got light, fast. 19 00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,912 Wake up, sleepyhead. 20 00:01:17,385 --> 00:01:18,545 What? 21 00:01:20,088 --> 00:01:22,420 That was some costume party last night, wasn't it? 22 00:01:22,524 --> 00:01:24,492 What? 23 00:01:26,328 --> 00:01:28,762 My God. 24 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,958 Whoops. My temporary tattoo rubbed off on you. 25 00:01:36,504 --> 00:01:41,373 Wow. I've never brought a guy right home before. This is wild, huh? 26 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,570 So, what do you wanna do today? Do you wanna go to the park? 27 00:01:44,679 --> 00:01:47,546 Oh, my God. You know what would be great? 28 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,379 - The farmer's market. - The who's what? 29 00:01:55,557 --> 00:01:59,493 We were not cut from the same cloth. 30 00:01:59,594 --> 00:02:03,086 But no matter how different we were, there was one thing we both liked. 31 00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:09,131 Besides, I didn't wanna run out on her. 32 00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:12,138 - She had been hurt before. - This is Ted. 33 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,140 He left me for a stripper. 34 00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:19,441 That's a lock of his hair, and that's a lock of the stripper's hair. 35 00:02:19,547 --> 00:02:25,315 That's a lock of my sister's hair, which leads us to John. 36 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,412 Even though I took home a Harley and ended up with a moped... 37 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,423 I decided to give it a shot. 38 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:33,289 I mean, why not? She was cute and had a satellite... 39 00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:35,590 that sent kung fu movies from space. 40 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,997 It's a beautiful day out. 41 00:02:40,101 --> 00:02:44,765 - Let's go for a hike. - I was gonna watch this kung fu movie. 42 00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,179 Come on. 43 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,214 "Pwease" go for a hike with me. 44 00:02:56,918 --> 00:03:00,012 I tried to seem interested in the same things she was... 45 00:03:00,121 --> 00:03:03,022 but it just didn't come natural to me. 46 00:03:03,124 --> 00:03:06,992 Look, an Anthemis tinctoria! 47 00:03:07,095 --> 00:03:10,360 Wow, look at the size of that dog turd next to it. 48 00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:19,531 She wanted me to do arts and crafts. It's called papier-mache. 49 00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:23,702 Somehow she figured out a way to make newspapers even more boring. 50 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:26,246 Oh, "wook," someone's fingers are all sticky-wicky. 51 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,986 - She even made me go on picnics. - So we just sit here? 52 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,147 Well, we're gonna eat in a while. 53 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,986 What do we do until then? 54 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:43,395 - Just sit, talk. - You know, we passed a Denny's. 55 00:03:43,498 --> 00:03:46,262 Before I knew it, we had been dating for a whole month. 56 00:03:46,368 --> 00:03:48,268 When her parents came out to visit... 57 00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,565 and we all got our faces lasered in crystal... 58 00:03:50,672 --> 00:03:52,572 I knew things were gettin' too serious. 59 00:03:52,674 --> 00:03:54,904 I had to get out. 60 00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:59,446 And I didn't wanna hurt her feelings, so I figured there was only one thing to do. 61 00:04:05,653 --> 00:04:08,417 Earl's dead. He was lost at sea. 62 00:04:08,523 --> 00:04:10,889 This is all they found of him. I thought you'd want it. 63 00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:16,921 I realize now that faking your death... 64 00:04:17,031 --> 00:04:19,397 to break up with someone is not exactly thoughtful. 65 00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:23,403 It's time to find a way to cross her off the list. 66 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,449 You look like that little monkey in E. T. 67 00:04:39,254 --> 00:04:42,189 - You faked your death? - I didn't wanna hurt her feelings. 68 00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:44,383 This woman is very fragile. 69 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,517 Very needy, clingy and fragile. 70 00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:49,324 Here. Put some more baby's breath in there. 71 00:04:49,431 --> 00:04:52,992 It fills in the gaps with neutral coloring. 72 00:04:53,101 --> 00:04:55,160 It's funny how the brain sucks things up. 73 00:04:55,270 --> 00:04:58,137 One summer, Randy worked at a florist for almost 10 minutes. 74 00:04:58,239 --> 00:05:00,503 I'm gonna put in some more baby's breath. 75 00:05:00,608 --> 00:05:03,008 It fills in the gaps with neutral coloring. 76 00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:06,842 Ma'am, are these vases always gonna make that sound when I'm drying them? 77 00:05:06,948 --> 00:05:09,314 The squeaking makes my toes hurt. 78 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:12,318 You can't just tell a girl you faked your death to get away from her. 79 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,184 - She'll be devastated. - I have to tell her. It's on my list. 80 00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:18,259 I lied to her, and the only way I can cross it off is if I tell her the truth. 81 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,919 So, what is more important, your list or someone's feelings? 82 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,623 - I don't know. My list? - No. 83 00:05:23,731 --> 00:05:25,631 Feelings. I bet it's feelings. 84 00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:28,167 Look, I-I have to tell her. She almost saw me today... 85 00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:30,171 and I'm not gonna hide in another refrigerator. 86 00:05:30,271 --> 00:05:33,638 Earl, if you really need to tell her, at least say it was because of you. 87 00:05:33,741 --> 00:05:36,608 - Say you weren't good enough for her. - That's another lie. 88 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,509 But it's a good lie, to protect her. 89 00:05:39,614 --> 00:05:41,673 Maybe you should listen to Catalina. 90 00:05:41,783 --> 00:05:43,910 She's a woman just like Natalie. 91 00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:45,918 They're both women, her and Natalie. 92 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,454 You and I are men. We're not women. 93 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:51,650 Sometimes Randy takes a long road to a simple thought. 94 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:54,284 You see, men think different than women. 95 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,398 You and I think different than Natalie and Catalina... 96 00:05:56,498 --> 00:05:58,398 cause we're men and they're women. 97 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,892 I'm right, right? I-I'm not wrong. 98 00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:04,301 - Am I wrong? - No. 99 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:08,841 Randy's long thought was right. 100 00:06:08,943 --> 00:06:11,379 Catalina seemed to know a lot more about women than I did... 101 00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:14,039 so I decided to take her advice. 102 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:21,484 Surprise. 103 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,692 That was just like in E. T. when that little girl first saw the monkey. 104 00:06:37,518 --> 00:06:40,180 You see, it wasn't you. It was-It was me. 105 00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:44,815 I pretended to be dead because I was afraid I wasn't good enough for ya. 106 00:06:46,093 --> 00:06:49,893 I mourned you for months. I kept your shirt. 107 00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:54,161 I even made a papier-mache bust of you to wear it. 108 00:06:59,473 --> 00:07:03,409 Very nice. Very detailed. 109 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:09,415 See, it was that kind of perfection in your life that made me feel inadequate. 110 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:12,679 It was that kind of perfection in your life that made him feel inadequate. 111 00:07:12,786 --> 00:07:17,689 They turned you into a mushroom. Are you all right? Talk to me. 112 00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:20,555 I just wished you would've said something. 113 00:07:20,661 --> 00:07:22,788 Why wouldn't you just tell me? 114 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:25,364 I mean, what does that say about me? 115 00:07:25,465 --> 00:07:28,093 No, n-nothing. It doesn't say anything about you. 116 00:07:28,202 --> 00:07:31,433 It's not your fault. You're-You're perfect. 117 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,563 I'm the one. It was me. 118 00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:37,405 Sorry I'm late, sweetie. I hit the gym. 119 00:07:37,511 --> 00:07:40,639 Took the fast train to ab town. 120 00:07:44,518 --> 00:07:46,611 - Are you being robbed? - No. 121 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,621 This is my ex-boyfriend Earl. 122 00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:53,352 - The one with the stripper? - No, I'm-I'm the dead one. 123 00:07:54,494 --> 00:07:57,122 Are these candies free? 124 00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:06,639 Thanks for telling me the truth. It makes me feel better knowing you're alive. 125 00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,970 I just wanted to make sure you were happy. 126 00:08:09,076 --> 00:08:12,637 I'm glad you found Dirk. He seems perfect for you. 127 00:08:12,746 --> 00:08:16,910 Thanks. We only met three weeks ago, but we just clicked. 128 00:08:17,017 --> 00:08:19,986 That's great. Good for you. 129 00:08:20,087 --> 00:08:23,056 - Well, I should, - Oh, wait a sec. 130 00:08:27,194 --> 00:08:31,096 I want you to have this. I'm glad you're not dead. 131 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,634 Good-bye, little fella. 132 00:08:37,871 --> 00:08:41,807 Good-bye, Natalie. Thanks for making me. 133 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,503 Oh. 134 00:08:47,948 --> 00:08:51,440 - All righty. I'll see you later. - Bye. 135 00:08:53,487 --> 00:08:57,048 I was feeling pretty good about Natalie and how we left things. 136 00:08:57,157 --> 00:09:02,686 And the me made of wet newspaper added a nice decorative touch to the room. 137 00:09:02,796 --> 00:09:06,960 Randy, have you seen the pen? I need to cross Natalie off my list. 138 00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:10,833 Nope. Catalina, how often do you clean the bedspreads? 139 00:09:10,938 --> 00:09:13,930 I don't know. I've only worked here for a year. 140 00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:20,502 - Dirk is gone. - What? 141 00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:22,514 Dirk is gone! 142 00:09:27,788 --> 00:09:30,416 When we got Natalie calmed down, she explained... 143 00:09:30,524 --> 00:09:33,755 that something terrible had happened to Dirk. 144 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:38,297 The police found his car in the woods with blood in it... 145 00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:40,832 and they think he might have been killed. 146 00:09:43,303 --> 00:09:47,205 Earl, is she gonna keep squeaking like that? It's making my toes hurt. 147 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:52,372 Just sit here and- and-and try to calm down. 148 00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:55,915 - I'll get you something to drink. - Okay. Thanks. 149 00:10:02,456 --> 00:10:04,583 Oh, yeah, feel that. 150 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,216 How do you like that rock-hard candy, huh? 151 00:10:07,327 --> 00:10:11,286 - Dirk? - Hey, Earl. 152 00:10:11,398 --> 00:10:13,366 Don't tell me your hooker works here too. 153 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:18,530 - You're supposed to be dead. - Well, yeah, I know. 154 00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:20,799 Thanks for the idea. Boy, just in time. 155 00:10:20,907 --> 00:10:24,866 I was about to build a noose out of papier-mache and hang myself at a picnic. 156 00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:28,038 Earl. 157 00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:31,242 - Hey. - I'm just gonna go home. 158 00:10:31,351 --> 00:10:34,650 It's probably best if I wait there in case the police come. 159 00:10:34,755 --> 00:10:37,690 Yeah, that's, probably a good idea. 160 00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:40,351 - Yeah. - Okay, right there. You found it. 161 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,724 Okay, a little less pressure. 162 00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:48,133 I can't believe Dirk faked his death too. 163 00:10:48,235 --> 00:10:52,296 He got the idea from me. That's why karma wouldn't let me find a pen and cross her off. 164 00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:55,637 - I'm not done. - Are you gonna tell her that he's alive? 165 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,142 She thinks he's dead, but he's not. He's not dead. 166 00:10:58,245 --> 00:11:00,873 He's living. He's alive. He's not dead like she thinks he is. 167 00:11:00,981 --> 00:11:02,881 I think I should tell her, right? 168 00:11:02,983 --> 00:11:05,719 You can't tell a girl two men faked their deaths to get away from her. 169 00:11:05,819 --> 00:11:08,913 - It will crush her spirit. - What am I supposed to do then? 170 00:11:09,022 --> 00:11:11,957 She's very upset. She's been through a lot, she thinks. 171 00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:13,959 So be her friend and comfort her. 172 00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:17,929 Maybe if a man is nice to her for a change, it will build up her confidence. 173 00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:21,262 - Trust me. I'm a woman. - She's right, Earl. 174 00:11:21,368 --> 00:11:24,895 She is a woman, and we're men. You remember how we talked about that. 175 00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:27,974 Yeah, I got it, Randy. Thanks. 176 00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:32,100 The first few days ofhanging out with Natalie... 177 00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:34,112 all she did was wait for the phone to ring. 178 00:11:34,214 --> 00:11:37,445 Since I knew it wasn't gonna, I thought I should get her out of the house. 179 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:39,746 Who's up for a hike? 180 00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:44,148 Come on. You love hikes. 181 00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:54,299 "Pwease" go on a hike with me. 182 00:11:57,771 --> 00:11:59,671 "Otay." 183 00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,275 See? Hiking. 184 00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:08,211 Huh? This is fun. I like going uphill. 185 00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:10,374 I wish we could go uphill on the way back. 186 00:12:10,484 --> 00:12:13,817 All I had to do was seem interested in the things she liked doing... 187 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,047 and she started to cheer up. 188 00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:18,147 Hiking turned into arts and crafts. 189 00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:22,058 I started to, make you a magical fairy... 190 00:12:22,162 --> 00:12:26,428 but I ended up with, a magical clump. 191 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:29,627 Thanks. It's a very nice clump. 192 00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:34,529 I'll name him Alexander. Alexander the Clump. 193 00:12:34,641 --> 00:12:37,201 Or Pepe. How about Pepe the Clump? 194 00:12:38,478 --> 00:12:41,572 - I don't get it. Why Pepe? - Oh, Pepe's a name. 195 00:12:41,681 --> 00:12:43,945 I think it's Mexican. 196 00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:47,884 Jose, Rodrigo, Pepe. Yeah, it's Mexican. 197 00:12:47,988 --> 00:12:50,548 Papier-machein' turned into picnickin'. 198 00:12:50,657 --> 00:12:54,252 For smelling like feet, this cheese is pretty damn good. 199 00:12:55,362 --> 00:12:58,092 - I love you. - What? 200 00:12:58,198 --> 00:13:00,598 Then our picnic somehow turned into a relationship. 201 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:04,158 I don't ever want you to think you're not good enough for me again. 202 00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:09,004 You're perfect for me. My little butterfly flew away, but he came back. 203 00:13:09,109 --> 00:13:11,009 He came back. 204 00:13:11,111 --> 00:13:14,603 And like a butterfly, I too was trapped. 205 00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:19,515 But instead of a net, I was caught by a crazy girl wiping her nose on me. 206 00:13:26,735 --> 00:13:29,033 - She told me she loves me. - What? 207 00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:32,198 I was nice to her like you told me to, and she told me she loved me. 208 00:13:32,307 --> 00:13:34,969 She even rubbed her nose against mine, real soft. 209 00:13:35,077 --> 00:13:37,875 What'd that feel like? 210 00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,073 It tickled for a second, but then it itched. 211 00:13:40,182 --> 00:13:42,446 You must have been too nice to her. 212 00:13:42,551 --> 00:13:44,951 Too nice? You didn't tell me how nice to be to her. 213 00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:47,648 You just told me to be nice. She thinks we're back together. 214 00:13:47,756 --> 00:13:51,852 Hey, Earl, is there a condom machine around here? 215 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,397 - No, Dirk. - Hey, what are these? 216 00:13:56,498 --> 00:14:00,730 - Shower caps. - That could work. 217 00:14:00,836 --> 00:14:04,067 Hey, Earl, you want me to tell Natalie you're dead again? 218 00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:07,506 - You can't do that. - What am I supposed to do then, huh? 219 00:14:07,609 --> 00:14:10,579 I don't wanna hurt her feelings, but how am I supposed to get rid of her? 220 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,772 She's been kicked around by men her whole life. 221 00:14:12,881 --> 00:14:15,509 You have to give her the power. Let her break up with you. 222 00:14:15,617 --> 00:14:18,916 She won't do that. Thanks to you, I'm her nature-hiking... 223 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:22,582 papier-macheing, soft-nose-rubbing butterfly in shining armor. 224 00:14:22,691 --> 00:14:25,626 So change. Be a bad boyfriend. 225 00:14:25,727 --> 00:14:28,355 Bad boyfriend? It's not that easy. 226 00:14:28,464 --> 00:14:31,262 Being mean goes against everything I stand for these days. 227 00:14:32,634 --> 00:14:35,432 Hey, Catalina, the mouse catcher's full again. 228 00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:37,698 I knew being a bad guy was gonna be hard... 229 00:14:37,806 --> 00:14:41,742 but since Catalina said it was for Natalie's own good, I gave it my all. 230 00:14:41,844 --> 00:14:45,541 Hey, look at the pretty yellow flowers. 231 00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:52,185 Happy Fourth of July! 232 00:14:53,822 --> 00:14:55,983 Check it out. I made your bust. 233 00:14:56,091 --> 00:14:59,492 I upped you a cup. You're welcome. 234 00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:10,695 Excuse me. 235 00:15:12,808 --> 00:15:15,936 Honey, you think it might be better... 236 00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:18,180 to relieve yourself a little farther away from the blanket? 237 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,077 Nah. 238 00:15:22,151 --> 00:15:24,381 This poor girl was so insecure... 239 00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:26,403 there wasn't anything she wouldn't put up with. 240 00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:31,349 Did you throw away my junk? 241 00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:34,020 Nothing worked, and I was running out of ideas... 242 00:15:34,129 --> 00:15:37,997 so Catalina agreed to help me put an end to the whole thing once and for all. 243 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:41,160 Come in. Oh, yeah, mama! 244 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:44,728 Earl, what's going on? 245 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,768 Oh, just blowing off a little steam, having a good time. 246 00:15:48,877 --> 00:15:51,710 Can't a guy have a party around here without getting hassled? 247 00:15:51,813 --> 00:15:54,179 Pssh! Get off my back. 248 00:15:54,283 --> 00:15:57,878 You're right, Earl. Sorry for interrupting. 249 00:15:57,986 --> 00:15:59,886 Just have fun and call me when you're done. 250 00:16:02,057 --> 00:16:04,685 "Call me when you're done"? I'm in bed with another woman. 251 00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,421 - Don't you wanna slap me? - Do you want me to? 252 00:16:07,529 --> 00:16:09,520 Oh! 253 00:16:09,631 --> 00:16:11,531 Natalie, this is not working. 254 00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:13,533 Remember when I said it wasn't you, it was me? 255 00:16:13,635 --> 00:16:16,468 Well, it's not me, it's you. It's all you. 256 00:16:16,572 --> 00:16:18,802 - Earl- - No, no, no, no. I'm done listening to you. 257 00:16:18,907 --> 00:16:22,104 You're just as crazy as she is. 258 00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:25,874 The truth is, you're clingy, you're a doormat, you have no self-respect. 259 00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:29,314 That's why guys wanna leave you. They have to get away from you. 260 00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:31,752 That's why I'm trying to get you to break up with me now. 261 00:16:34,356 --> 00:16:38,759 Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it is you, because Dirk didn't think I was a doormat. 262 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:41,761 He didn't wanna leave me. He loved me for who I am. 263 00:16:56,211 --> 00:16:58,406 Hey, Earl. 264 00:16:58,513 --> 00:17:00,845 Are there no other motels in this town? 265 00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:03,474 Well, that went well. 266 00:17:03,585 --> 00:17:06,281 I know I was hard on her, but she needed to hear the truth. 267 00:17:06,388 --> 00:17:08,686 And when she's over being upset... 268 00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:11,452 it's gonna make her a better person for the rest of her life. 269 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,495 As it turned out, the rest ofher life wasn't that long. 270 00:17:14,663 --> 00:17:18,326 Sadly, Natalie's parents told me she was so distraught over yet... 271 00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:21,698 another relationship ending that she took her own life. 272 00:17:33,548 --> 00:17:36,381 Yes, yes, yes! Who's the joke on now, Earl Hickey? 273 00:17:36,485 --> 00:17:38,715 - Who's the joke on now? - Me? 274 00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:42,051 That's right. Y-O-U. How does it feel, huh? 275 00:17:42,157 --> 00:17:45,217 - How does it feel to think someone's dead? - Crappy? 276 00:17:45,327 --> 00:17:49,957 Crappy's right. That's exactly how you made me feel, Earl, twice. 277 00:17:50,065 --> 00:17:53,466 It turned out that Catalina and I were both kinda right. 278 00:17:53,568 --> 00:17:57,060 By being honest with Natalie, I made her mad. 279 00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:59,541 That anger gave her the idea to fake her death, and by doing that... 280 00:17:59,641 --> 00:18:03,577 she finally got to leave a relationship with the power that Catalina said she needed. 281 00:18:03,679 --> 00:18:06,546 Natalie had finally stood up for herself, and I admired her for that. 282 00:18:06,648 --> 00:18:09,242 Although her parents had a different opinion. 283 00:18:09,351 --> 00:18:13,811 You could have at least told us you were faking! 284 00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:17,483 It had to seem real, Mom. Lighten up. 285 00:18:17,592 --> 00:18:20,152 Oh, she's alive! 286 00:18:20,262 --> 00:18:23,026 Clearly, Natalie had finally found her backbone. 287 00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:27,431 And as I had hoped, it carried on past her funeral and into the rest ofher life. 288 00:18:27,536 --> 00:18:30,835 Hey, Dirk, I'm still getting your mail. 289 00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:36,507 It's from the clinic. Somebody got themselves an S.T.D. 290 00:18:36,611 --> 00:18:39,171 - I can deal with that. - Turn the page. 291 00:18:42,117 --> 00:18:46,850 Crap! Damn shower caps. 292 00:18:46,955 --> 00:18:49,685 Her newfound confidence even let her finally showcase... 293 00:18:49,791 --> 00:18:51,884 her wet newspaper art in a public setting. 294 00:19:02,471 --> 00:19:08,410 And because I'd earned it, karma finally let me find a pen. 295 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,111 It was nice to see Natalie so happy, wasn't it? 296 00:19:32,222 --> 00:19:35,191 Yeah. I'm glad she's not dead anymore. 297 00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:37,817 Being dead is definitely worse than being alive. 298 00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:40,055 When you're dead, you can't do all the cool stuff... 299 00:19:40,163 --> 00:19:42,063 you can do when you're alive. 300 00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:45,828 You and I, we can do all kinds of cool stuff, cause we're living. 301 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,995 We're not dead. We're alive. 302 00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:51,097 If we were dead, we wouldn't be able to do all the cool stuff... 303 00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:53,472 we can do because we're alive. 304 00:19:53,577 --> 00:19:55,636 Dead people can't do cool stuff. 305 00:19:55,746 --> 00:19:59,512 Only people that are alive can do cool stuff, because they're living... 306 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,483 and you have to be living to be able to do cool stuff. 307 00:20:02,586 --> 00:20:05,646 You have to be alive. 308 00:20:05,756 --> 00:20:10,125 Yeah, except when you're alive, sometimes bad stuff happens too. 309 00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:13,526 Like, sometimes you can get in a car wreck or you can have a headache... 310 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,565 or twist your ankle or even stub your big toe. 311 00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,726 So being alive's kinda hard too... 312 00:20:18,835 --> 00:20:21,565 but I think it's definitely better than being "a-dead."