1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:02,793
[Charles-Haden Savage]
<i>Sazz was my friend.</i>

2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,085
We're trying to
solve her murder.

3
00:00:04,086 --> 00:00:06,297
Right. For your podcast.

4
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,466
- [crashing]
- [shouting]

5
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:08,758
[grunts]

6
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,010
- Ben Glenroy?
- [Glen Stubbins] Ben's dead!

7
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,846
I'm Glen Stubbins,
Ben's stunt double.

8
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,515
Can ya help me get
a job on your film?

9
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,767
You lost your stunt double.
I lost my acting double.

10
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,644
- We could make each other whole again.
- [gunshot]

11
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,187
[Howard Morris] Oh
God, they've been shot!

12
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,897
- [crew screaming]
- It's Glen! He's still alive!

13
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,815
[Detective Donna Williams] <i>Stubbins
is stable, but unconscious.</i>

14
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,610
The bullet struck the plate in his
head and deflected to Gali-fine-akis.

15
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:30,780
I sign on to your
crazy for a lifetime.

16
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,032
[Oliver Putnam] You're
giving me a doll's bracelet?

17
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,411
I'm proposing to you,
Oliver. I wanna marry you.

18
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,206
[Oliver] We're getting married
this weekend! [chuckles]

19
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,751
Sazz figured this all out. Maybe
that's what she wanted to tell me.

20
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,462
I wanted to tell you something
about your friend, Sazz.

21
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,005
She was on the ham radio,

22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,800
asking about all these huge plot
holes you had in your podcast.

23
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:54,595
You're how Sazz knew about all
the West Tower stuff in her notes.

24
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:59,308
She talked about a stuntman on a
movie called <i>Project Ronkonkoma.</i>

25
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,227
She said, "He's gonna
be the death of me."

26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,104
- [phone clicks]
- What's <i>Project Ronkonkoma?</i>

27
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,106
Here we go! <i>Project Ronkonkoma.</i>

28
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,358
<i>Who's the stunt person? Is
it someone we can talk to?</i>

29
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,653
- [Mabel Mora] <i>Not exactly.</i>
- [equipment beeping, hissing]

30
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,533
[♪ jaunty music playing]

31
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:20,539
[Charles] <i>For those of us in film and TV,
the people you work with are everything</i>.

32
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,332
<i>Until it's time to move
on to the next show,</i>

33
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,669
<i>and then it's easy
to lose touch.</i>

34
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,462
Talk to Pataki.

35
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,798
Hey hey, Spanko!
How's it goin', man?

36
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,801
No, no, you're good.
I'm just leavin' set.

37
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,264
<i>Project Ronkonkoma!</i> Of course,
I can wrestle up a team!

38
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,307
[Charles] <i>But sometimes,
you meet a person</i>

39
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,517
<i>you don't want to let go of.</i>

40
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,103
<i>And sometimes, they
can change your life</i>

41
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,272
<i>in ways you never saw coming.</i>

42
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,356
Ha, ha!

43
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,150
[starts car]

44
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,568
- [person screams]
- [tires screech]

45
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,861
- [person yelps]
- [papers rustle]

46
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:52,945
Geez!

47
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,115
- [person groans]
- That was some flip!

48
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,492
I teach that in my Advanced
Somersault Intensive,

49
00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,869
which is in the winter.

50
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,662
[person panting]

51
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,748
You ever stunted before?

52
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,667
[quiet hospital chatter]

53
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,085
[Mabel] There he is.

54
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,837
[in Irish accent] Excuse
me, you can't go in there.

55
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,381
Oh, uh, we have to.
Uh, we're his family.

56
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,675
[in Irish accent] Uh, that's right.
We're the Stubbinses, you know.

57
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:18,721
I'm Oliver. Th-This <i>cailín</i> is Mabel, and
of course, you've met cousin Charles.

58
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,681
[in Irish accent] And it
sure is good to know ya!

59
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,141
Well, the accent's new.

60
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,559
[normal] Well,
it's in and out.

61
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,103
Okay, fine, we're here
investigating a murder,

62
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,688
and we need to see Glen.

63
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,107
Glen is in a fragile state.

64
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,401
He can't be subjected to
an interrogation right now.

65
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:36,113
No need to worry, darlin'.
These are mild questions.

66
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:39,992
Like, uh, "We heard Sazz was
beefin' with her protégé.

67
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,453
Might that be you,
Glen Stubbins?"

68
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:46,374
[in Irish accent] And sure, whatever
happened on <i>Project Ronkonkoma</i>

69
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,167
on the Erin's green isle?

70
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,919
Um, and you know,

71
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,464
"Did you murder our friend?"

72
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,716
You're not goin'
in. That's final.

73
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:56,926
Also, what's with the beer?

74
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,846
- [normal] Oh, uh, we were going to...
- No, please.

75
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,682
L-lure him out of his coma.

76
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:05,893
Ya thought the smell of
beer would rouse him?

77
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,396
Why? 'Cause he's Irish?

78
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,106
Did ya bring some
corned beef, too?

79
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,233
- No...
- [Oliver growls softly]

80
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,443
We also brought smellin' salts.

81
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,947
Good luck accusin' that
of being in bad taste.

82
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,240
I don't even know if
they work. [sniffs]

83
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,367
[snorts, gags]

84
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,743
They work. They work.

85
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287
[gasps] We also
brought a witchy board

86
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,374
on the off-chance he could
control it with his mind.

87
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,960
So?

88
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:35,047
[Mabel] Well, the nurse said
that she'd call if Glen wakes up.

89
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,008
- [Oliver] Oh.
- [Charles] So, what do we do now?

90
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,302
What do I do with all this beer?

91
00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:41,137
Sazz gave them to me
the night she died,

92
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,306
but I'm never gonna drink
them 'cause, as you know,

93
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,974
beer is a peasant's drink.

94
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,226
Oliver, I'll take
your peasant's beer

95
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,021
because I'm such a good friend.

96
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,230
You know, I've been thinking.

97
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,400
You're getting married in a few
days, and what if I took you out

98
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,571
and bought you a non-beer
drink to, uh, celebrate?

99
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,365
Charles, are you offering to
throw me a bachelor party?

100
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,326
I don't care what people say.

101
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:05,412
You're not an ice prince.

102
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,998
[growls] Good people.

103
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,167
Guys, it's the bartender
from Concussions.

104
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,543
Ah!

105
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:16,380
The three jackasses who
promised to solve Sazz's murder.

106
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,673
We're still doing that.

107
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,051
- Hm, racked up a coma along the way.
- [Oliver starts recording]

108
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,512
Hey, uh, you're in
the stunt world.

109
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,972
We heard Sazz's protégé
on <i>Project Ronkonkoma</i>

110
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,058
was giving her a hard time,

111
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,393
and Glen Stubbins ended up
with credit on the movie.

112
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,811
No.

113
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,814
Glen was brought in to
replace Sazz's protégé.

114
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,402
The guy fucked up so bad,
Sazz had to blackball him.

115
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,697
So, Sazz ended her
protégé's career,

116
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,616
and then Glen replaced him.

117
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,203
That's motive to
kill both of 'em.

118
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:50,623
So, Glen was never our
shooter. He was another victim.

119
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,250
Who was this protégé?

120
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,628
- And what happened on <i>Project Ronkonkoma?</i>
- [bartender] I didn't know the guy.

121
00:04:55,629 --> 00:05:00,884
The only ones who know what went down
are Sazz, Glen, and the director.

122
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,387
So, all we have to do is track
down the director of that movie,

123
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:05,930
who was...

124
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,014
Ron Howard.

125
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,350
- [♪ lively theme song playing]
- [Oliver gasps]

126
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,937
Finally, a celebrity
this season!

127
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,816
[♪ vocalizing]

128
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,774
[♪ theme song fades out]

129
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:03,279
- [♪ curious music playing]
- [seagulls cawing]

130
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,573
- [indistinct production set chatter]
- [cart rattling]

131
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,576
[Sazz Pataki] Oh! Your first
professional fire stunt.

132
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,453
- Oh! Alright.
- [claps]

133
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:13,039
Now I know we've been
over this a million times.

134
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,666
We're gonna make it a
million and one. Ready?

135
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,126
- [protégé] Mm-hmm.
- [Sazz] Step one,

136
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:20,880
grab your fireproof jock from
the deep freeze. Strap it on.

137
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:25,134
Step two, slather up your
tender bits with this stuff.

138
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,011
Wrists, neck, ankles.

139
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,805
Anything not covered
by... [sighs]

140
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,016
this flame-retardant vest,

141
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,185
AKA step three.

142
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,646
Yeah, it's a bit tattered,
it's a bit old school,

143
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:40,191
but it's a gift from my old man, and
it's kept me safe all these years.

144
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,652
Here, for you. Try it on.

145
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,445
Lather yourself up,

146
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,531
and we're gonna torch you.

147
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,449
Ooh! I'm so psyched for you.

148
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,618
Frank! You good?

149
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:54,038
♪

150
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:57,375
Well, took us long enough, but we
finally are on the right track.

151
00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:01,088
Only question is how the
hell do we get to Ron Howard?

152
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:06,301
Well, I've been waiting to tell
you this for maximum impact, but...

153
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,847
Ron-Ron and I are
close personal friends.

154
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,100
And you know it's true
because he called him Ron-Ron.

155
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,644
I'll have you know our headshots
are hung right next to each other

156
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,437
at my favorite
Chinese restaurant.

157
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,399
Well, next to each other in an
across-and-down sort of way.

158
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,734
My face is covered by a plant,

159
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,279
but my pompadour is pompin'.

160
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,490
Great. Your pictures know each
other. That's incredibly helpful.

161
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,243
Devastating that
you know me so well

162
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,663
and yet you could think that
was the end of my story.

163
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,874
The year!

164
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,334
1988. [sniffles]

165
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,378
I was 10 dumplings deep,

166
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:46,007
but who should enter?
Hollywood's own, Ron Howard.

167
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,633
[excited snickering]

168
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,261
Next thing you know, we're
sharing an off-menu soup

169
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:53,891
that is so spicy, we
sweat through our shirts.

170
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,893
We talked into the wee hours,

171
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,603
topless, and, I don't know,

172
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,521
maybe we danced on
top of the table.

173
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,274
I'm not sure. The end of
the evening is a bit fuzzy.

174
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:06,319
Not unlike Ron-Ron's
chest, which I do remember.

175
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,237
You saw Ron Howard's nipples?

176
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,157
- [softly] Oh, my God!
- Like two little cardinals in a bush.

177
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,701
Okay, let's just say
that story is true.

178
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,330
Why don't you give, uh, your good
friend a call and get us some info?

179
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,540
[Oliver] Well, this was
before cell phones, Mabel.

180
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,833
- [Mabel] Mm.
- I only have the number

181
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,293
to his car fax machine,

182
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,378
but if we stake out the
restaurant, we'll find him.

183
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:27,131
You know what? I'm
just gonna call

184
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,717
Tommy Hanks and
just get his number.

185
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,178
I mean, he's one of my close
personal friends, you know,

186
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,514
because, one time, I
watched <i>The Polar Express.</i>

187
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,849
[Oliver laughing]

188
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,309
That is fu... Although,

189
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,311
speaking of Tom Hanks,
we should invite him.

190
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,562
Invite him to what?

191
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,022
My bachelor party.

192
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,275
I've literally spent the entire
time with you since the hospital.

193
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,528
- When would I have ever done that?
- I-I'm sorry. Yes, okay.

194
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,531
B-But, the invites should
go out soon, Charles.

195
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,116
Yeah, Charles. I mean,
you have, like, 50 hours,

196
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,827
which means you're
looking at Evites.

197
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,830
[grumbles] Evites. Yeah,
that's not the classiest,

198
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,124
but that is the hand
we have been dealt.

199
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,710
Alright, I'll keep it simple.
I just want three little things

200
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,420
for my bachelor party.

201
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,964
Whiskey,

202
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,924
A-list celebrities,

203
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,635
and someone who does
something naughty,

204
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,513
and we all have to keep it a
secret for the rest of our lives.

205
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,765
I'll give you an acronym
to help you remember.

206
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,560
W-A-N-S, WANS.

207
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,769
[mouthing]

208
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:25,022
Whiskey, A-list
celebrities, naughty secret.

209
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,315
Got it.

210
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,943
H-E-L-P.

211
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,612
[sighs] This seems like a
really good time for me to exit.

212
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,115
So, I am gonna go visit someone

213
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:36,242
who can actually help
us find Ron Howard.

214
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,830
♪

215
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,458
- [knocking on door]
- Come in.

216
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,419
- [gasps] Mabel!
- Hey.

217
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,129
You look so pretty!

218
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,298
Wait, did we have something
on the books for today?

219
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,883
[mouthing] Hold.

220
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,050
- Skylar?
- [Skylar] [on phone] <i>Hi.</i>

221
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,636
Hi, did we have something on
the books with Mabel today?

222
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,346
[Skylar] <i>Maybe.
I-I don't remember.</i>

223
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,140
- I-It's fine if you forgot.
- [mouthing]

224
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,558
[Skylar] <i>I keep forgetting!</i>

225
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,185
You're in a safe
space, don't worry.

226
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,603
[Skylar chattering]

227
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,690
No, please don't take another
mental health day. Please, no.

228
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,775
- Okay, good. Bye.
- [Skylar continues frantically chattering]

229
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,861
- [hangs up]
- [whispers] Can't take it anymore.

230
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:15,281
Uh... [nervous laugh] Sorry, there
was nothing on the books today.

231
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:19,035
I, um, I just... I wanted
to ask you about...

232
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,370
About the movie?

233
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,165
Ugh, let me tell you.
The movie is addicted

234
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,459
to being a piece of shit.

235
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,753
I hate the costumes.
They're awful.

236
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:32,006
Eva Longoria is
constantly unavailable

237
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:35,885
because of some TED Talk
or billionaire's birthday.

238
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,806
The Brothers Sisters are
draining every last drop of me.

239
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:44,519
[sighs] But, they do keep
asking for more Mabel scenes,

240
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,562
which is interesting.
Something about your...

241
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,856
"erotic non-sexuality."

242
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,900
Yeah, it's the sweaters.

243
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,694
And every draft that Marshall
turns in is worse than the last.

244
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,781
It's like I can't even remember the
script that I fell in love with.

245
00:10:56,782 --> 00:11:00,076
And I don't know if it's the two
coffee enemas that I took this morning,

246
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,703
but I'm starting to think
that the Brothers Sisters

247
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,456
aren't actually identical.

248
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,501
[loud blending]

249
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,428
[mouthing]

250
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,763
[blender stops]

251
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,849
Well, uh, I just... I came by

252
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:26,060
because I'm trying to
track down Ron Howard.

253
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,396
Uh, do you, by chance,
know where he is?

254
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,273
Of course, I know
where that fucker is.

255
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:31,941
- Wait, you do?
- [Bev Melon] Oh yes, Mabel.

256
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,068
You're nobody in this town if
you ain't keeping track of...

257
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:36,238
[exaggerated] Ron Howard.

258
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,554
[normal] He's actually in New
York right now shooting a movie.

259
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,368
No one knows what it's
about or who's in it,

260
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,121
but I did hear that it's
very autobiographical

261
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,832
and very personal
and very small,

262
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,377
and the budget is $200 million.

263
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:54,130
- [Bev sighs]
- [Mabel] Uh...

264
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,049
Can I ask you a question?

265
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,844
When you talk, do you say "bro"?

266
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:02,972
Bro? No, I hang out
with 70-year-olds.

267
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,058
Right. That's what I thought.

268
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,767
[sighs]

269
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,396
These pages are a
big fat suck-fest.

270
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,522
You know what? I have an idea.

271
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,442
What if I give you
Ron Howard's address,

272
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,944
and you do something for me,

273
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,697
and that would be taking
a pass on these scenes,

274
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:23,076
but you have to make sure it sounds
like the real Mabel. What do you think?

275
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,996
If, uh, if this lead pans out,

276
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,582
maybe, uh, I can help
you when I come back.

277
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,210
Yes! Here you go.

278
00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:33,545
Thank you.

279
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,755
- Uh, goodbye.
- [Bev] Bye.

280
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,673
[crew chattering]

281
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,426
[crew member] Everyone, we need
all <i>Escape From Planet Klongo</i> NDAs

282
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,844
signed before entering.

283
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:42,929
Oh.

284
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,931
Okay, okay, let
me take the lead.

285
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,390
If I drop my name,

286
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,560
Ron Howard will swing that
velvet rope wide open.

287
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,938
I think I should. Security
guards love <i>Brazzos.</i>

288
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,856
I'm kinda their Princess Diana.

289
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,776
I think I should, mostly
because I'm neither of you.

290
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,861
Hold up. You got badges?

291
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,114
Oh yeah, I got a badge. Huh?

292
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,327
From <i>Brazzos?</i> TV show?
Your dad probably watched?

293
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,079
- Emmy nomination for sound?
- [Mabel] Um,

294
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,872
sorry, we just, we need to talk

295
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,375
to Mr. Howard about
an investigation.

296
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,168
We're professional podcasters.

297
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,628
<i>Only Murders in the Building.</i>

298
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,755
We're the most listened
to murder podcast

299
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:20,216
on the Upper West Side that's
sponsored by a deli chain.

300
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,260
Yeah, you're not
gettin' in here.

301
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:26,055
W-Well, i-if you could just tell
Ron-Ron that Ollie Putnam is here.

302
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:29,100
No, no. Tell him
"off-menu soup."

303
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:31,853
[imitating slurping,
burning mouth]

304
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,772
Hot, hot, hot, hot,
hot, hot, hot, hot!

305
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,482
[slurping, gasping]

306
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,359
Ah! Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

307
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,113
- [laughs] He'll know what that means.
- [guard] Look.

308
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:44,448
I'ma be real with you.
I don't really watch TV,

309
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,117
and congrats on the podcast.

310
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:48,119
I mean, that's, that's
huge, and it's so amazing

311
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,538
that you have an inside
joke with Ron Howard,

312
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:52,373
but if I let you in,

313
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,500
then I'll lose my job, and
then I won't have enough money

314
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,085
to go to Disneyland
with my cousins,

315
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,588
and we've been planning
this trip for years.

316
00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,464
So, just in case my
boss is listening,

317
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,966
get outta here!

318
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:03,552
Okay. [panting]

319
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:07,305
Ugh, that was a very
charming rejection.

320
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,265
[assistant director]
Background actors?

321
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:11,058
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
- Yes?

322
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,099
You were supposed to arrive
10 minutes ago. Move it!

323
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,230
Oh! [scoffs, mumbles] Time.

324
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,107
Background.

325
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,774
Have fun with your cousins.

326
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,777
- Get your badge.
- Yes.

327
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,821
Thank you.

328
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,614
♪

329
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,199
[indistinct chatter]

330
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,659
I'm not gonna have to
do any acting, right?

331
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,787
Are you nervous? You know your
hobby is chasing murderers?

332
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,188
Oh yeah, that's
somehow less scary.

333
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,959
Well, good news. As
soon as we step on set,

334
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,879
Ron-Ron will recognize me,
and we'll get pulled away.

335
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,173
And don't worry. Background actors
don't really have to do much.

336
00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:44,175
You just be natural.

337
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:45,718
You know, I hadn't
thought of it before,

338
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:49,389
but I guess it's time for me to change
my emergency contact to Loretta.

339
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,557
A whole new life.

340
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,018
- Gives me chills. [snorts]
- [assistant director] Okay, listen up!

341
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,855
I need everyone to line up and
deliver your best terrified reaction.

342
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,482
Best 10 stay, the rest go home.

343
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,610
You said background actors
don't have to do much.

344
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:04,529
Well, honey, they do
now, so buckle up.

345
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,282
Okay, let's go, guys.
Alright, line up over here.

346
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,244
I don't know whether to
go big, do I go small,

347
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:14,205
or communicate the unspeakable
horror using only my teeth?

348
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,665
[wheezing chomps]

349
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:17,426
- Not that.
- [assistant director] You first.

350
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,170
[screaming]

351
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:22,191
- [assistant director] You're in.
- Oh.

352
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,509
- [whispering] What do I do?
- I think big. I think we go big.

353
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,261
I was hoping for big.

354
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,304
[screams]

355
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,889
- You're out.
- Damn.

356
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,724
[Charles] Final answer,
small. We're going small.

357
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,103
Small is sophisticated. Small
is for the silver screen.

358
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,022
- Really keeping us on our toes here.
- You.

359
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:43,609
[shrieking]

360
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,695
[groaning]

361
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:47,947
- Thought we said small.
- That was my small.

362
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,242
- You're in.
- Oh, thank you.

363
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,579
Oh, my God, Brazzos?

364
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,873
Ah. So nice to meet a fan.

365
00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,416
I'm sure Ron'll
want to say hello.

366
00:15:58,417 --> 00:15:59,751
You're doing background now?

367
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,254
That's so sad. You
can be in the movie.

368
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:04,964
You're still in the
game. You're in.

369
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:08,050
- This way.
- No! I don't think I can do this.

370
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,136
You.

371
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,598
Wow, great. You're in.

372
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,100
Head on over to
wardrobe and makeup.

373
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,977
[crew chattering]

374
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:21,063
- [EKG beeping]
- [♪ tense music playing]

375
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:24,525
[computer mouse
clicking, typing]

376
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,861
[Glen sighing]

377
00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:29,990
[echoing clicks]

378
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,285
Are...

379
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,579
Are ye an angel?

380
00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:38,414
Oh. Relax.

381
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,333
You're in the hospital.

382
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:42,961
- You've been shot in the head.
- Nay.

383
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,964
The heart.

384
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,966
Ya had some friends
come here earlier,

385
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,260
a couple o' married old
men and their caretaker.

386
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:56,266
They wanted to ask you about the
stunt guy on <i>Project Ronkonkoma?</i>

387
00:16:56,892 --> 00:17:00,019
Yes. Right. No, I-I need
to talk to 'em right away.

388
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,021
- I'll let them know you're up.
- Right away.

389
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,107
Oh, also, um...

390
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:08,569
would ya do me
the honor of bein'

391
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,656
Mrs. Glen Stubbins?

392
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,493
Also, I'm Glen Stubbins.

393
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,246
Oh. Yeah, I'll get your doctor.

394
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:19,330
- Okay.
- Yeah.

395
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,000
[♪ gentle music playing]

396
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,711
Can I-I get a room
without the rats?

397
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,506
♪

398
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,920
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- [production set chatter]

399
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,011
[Sazz] Alright.

400
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,973
Don't forget to take a deep
breath before they light you up.

401
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,725
Last thing you wanna do is
inhale flames into your lungs.

402
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,645
And when the director yells
"cut," you stop, drop,

403
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:45,898
and let 'em hose you down. And
then, you take a good 30 seconds

404
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:49,235
before you do anything
else in case you re-spark.

405
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,695
You ready?

406
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:52,655
Yeah, of course, you are.

407
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,533
Now, go make my papa proud.

408
00:17:57,411 --> 00:18:00,414
Doing this for Sazz,
doing this for Sazz.

409
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:05,877
How is Ron-Ron going
to recognize me now?

410
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:09,005
That night in the Chinese restaurant,
my aesthetic was distinctively not

411
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:10,923
life-size Sour Patch Kid.

412
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:14,218
And why do we have to wear spandex,
and Mabel only gets makeup?

413
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,095
[Mabel] Well, because you
guys are a bunch of...

414
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,598
"Klongos," and I'm just a girl.

415
00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:21,726
Right, Klongos. I mean, I'm
sorry, but what is this movie?

416
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:24,103
Are we witnessing the end
of Ron Howard's career?

417
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,439
No, no, no. What I learned
about Ron over soup

418
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,734
is you've gotta just trust
him. I told him, I said,

419
00:18:29,735 --> 00:18:32,195
- "Ron-Ron, you're the beautiful mind."
- [text chimes]

420
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:34,572
And he loved that, and he just
plunked down the credit card

421
00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:36,157
and paid for the whole soup.

422
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,658
Oh, my God, guys.

423
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,660
I have to get out of here
and get to the hospital.

424
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,038
Glen Stubbins is awake.

425
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,039
Also, I'm gonna see
if they can remove

426
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,002
the part of my brain that stores
the image of you in spandex.

427
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:50,130
[Charles] Well...

428
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,173
Oh, yeah...

429
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,092
Oh, by the way, I've been thinking
about your bachelor party,

430
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,427
and I think I got a winner.

431
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,763
Finally. Yes, let's hear it.

432
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:01,432
I hope the spandex and
the balls inspired you.

433
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,684
Okay, remember that hot
dog restaurant we went to?

434
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,895
- Yeah.
- And, uh, there was a phone booth outside,

435
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:09,357
but it wasn't really a phone booth,
it was a door to a speakeasy?

436
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,400
I was thinking we could
do something like that.

437
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,237
Get some dogs with my dawg!

438
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,740
I feel like I've
taken crazy pills.

439
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,492
Do we remember W-A-N-S?!

440
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,327
Whiskey, A-listers,

441
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,913
- naughty secret? Oh, you do remember?
- Naughty secret. Yeah.

442
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:27,584
'Cause I thought your plan lacked my
simple parameters due to forgetfulness.

443
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,213
But instead, the culprit
is willful negligence!

444
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,923
Alright. Just forget it!

445
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,967
- And you're not wearing this either!
- Ah!

446
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,803
[assistant director]
Background, you're up on set.

447
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,888
- [EKG beeping]
- [♪ somber music playing]

448
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:41,974
[door opens]

449
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,060
Ah, you're back, sweetheart.

450
00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,647
What? It's you?

451
00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,858
- [♪ music building]
- What are...

452
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:54,151
- [beeping gets faster]
- What you... No.

453
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,780
- [muffled] No, no. No, don't! No!
- [♪ dramatic music playing]

454
00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,868
- Don't! Stop, no!
- [beeping gets faster]

455
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,661
[flatlining]

456
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,496
[assistant director]
Alright, everybody in?

457
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:06,664
Let's go!

458
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:09,293
- [set chatter]
- [crew member] Places!

459
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,130
Ron-Ron? Are you there?

460
00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:15,423
It's me!

461
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:18,259
[imitates slurping,
burning mouth]

462
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,011
Hey, you're not talking to Ron.

463
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:22,346
Listen up, everybody. On my cue,

464
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,973
you're gonna look
up at the monster,

465
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,100
you're gonna look scared,

466
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,227
and you're gonna run
off that way. Yeah?

467
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,563
Great.

468
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:32,691
I know our bold acting
choice. Follow my lead.

469
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,818
- [assistant director] Background!
- [Oliver snarls]

470
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,111
[Ron Howard] And... action!

471
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,404
[actors screaming]

472
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,449
Run! Run, fellow Klongos!

473
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,368
I shall buy you time!

474
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,496
Don't let my death be in vain!

475
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:49,540
- Monster, no!
- [Ron] What the hell's with him?

476
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,168
No... Charles, a
little effort, please!

477
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,755
Or is this gonna be my
bachelor party all over again?

478
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:56,964
Oh?

479
00:20:56,965 --> 00:21:00,302
Your bachelor party? Oh, you're
right, yes. I should pitch in.

480
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:01,886
How about a...

481
00:21:01,887 --> 00:21:04,847
a sunset cigar cruise
up the Gowanus Canal?

482
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,975
Or maybe a dining
and spa experience,

483
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,603
where we get fish
pedicures, and afterwards,

484
00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:13,814
we eat the fish
<i>omakase</i>-style?! Oh, wait!

485
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:17,527
Ice luges poured by
professional ice lugers.

486
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,904
Is this getting
good enough for you?

487
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:23,574
Oh wait. Oh, maybe, a
members-only aerialist strip club!

488
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,327
And an elephant! But,
not just any elephant!

489
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,162
An A-list elephant.

490
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,873
Babar, Dumbo, or
maybe the viral one

491
00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:34,460
who sat on the zookeeper's head.
Because it really doesn't matter

492
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:37,922
because no one is gonna show up!

493
00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:40,092
Because you!

494
00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,803
Are insufferable.

495
00:21:43,512 --> 00:21:45,429
[Ron] And... cut?

496
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,014
Who hired the idiots?

497
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,891
Get 'em out and get a
picture for my ban list.

498
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:51,292
[assistant director] The director
has asked that you go home.

499
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:52,980
Now.

500
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,065
Sorry, Brazzos.

501
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,321
Now, if you'd line up, Ron
Howard would like to say hi

502
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:05,324
and thank each of you for your
work today before we start rolling.

503
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:09,079
[♪ somber music playing]

504
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:13,542
Where is he?

505
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,003
I'm so sorry.

506
00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:19,881
- He's dead. My Glen.
- [Mabel] W...

507
00:22:19,882 --> 00:22:21,924
- What happened?
- I don't know!

508
00:22:21,925 --> 00:22:24,302
He seemed fine. He
was making me laugh.

509
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:27,638
I called his people to let them
know he was awake, did my rounds,

510
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,807
and when I returned,
he... [sniffles]

511
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:32,226
[newscaster] [on TV] <i>Breaking
news. Nicky "The Neck" Caccimelio,</i>

512
00:22:32,227 --> 00:22:34,937
<i>the Dry Cleaning King of Brooklyn,
has been reported missing.</i>

513
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:37,273
<i>Though he has ties to
the Caputo crime family,</i>

514
00:22:37,274 --> 00:22:40,526
<i>officials say they do not
suspect foul play at this time.</i>

515
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:44,197
Uh, who else did you call
and tell that Glen was awake?

516
00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:47,158
Just you and his
emergency contact.

517
00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:50,578
- Sazz Pataki.
- You called Sazz?

518
00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:52,538
Did a man answer?

519
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,790
[♪ curious music playing]

520
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,793
- Did I do somethin' wrong?
- Uh...

521
00:23:03,468 --> 00:23:05,219
- [crew member] Rolling.
- [Ron] And action!

522
00:23:07,638 --> 00:23:09,847
[tires screech]

523
00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:12,309
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- [van doors open, slam]

524
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,270
[actor 1] Get out
here, you rat!

525
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,106
- [actors grunting]
- [protégé struggling]

526
00:23:19,608 --> 00:23:21,067
- On the ground!
- [protégé grunts]

527
00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:23,904
[♪ dramatic music continues]

528
00:23:27,199 --> 00:23:29,033
[actor 2] This is
for Don Antonio.

529
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,327
[lighter clicks]

530
00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:32,495
[flame roars]

531
00:23:32,496 --> 00:23:33,579
[protégé groans]

532
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,872
- Good, good.
- [protégé screams]

533
00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:36,249
[screaming]

534
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,416
[excited growl]

535
00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:42,338
[protégé screaming]

536
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:44,298
[Ron] Okay, cut! Fire out!

537
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,592
- [fire extinguishers hiss]
- Yes! Yes! Yes!

538
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:47,927
- [crew cheering]
- [crew member] Clear!

539
00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:49,178
Told you. Yes, yes, yes, yes!

540
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:51,681
I told you. I told
you we'd do it in one!

541
00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:54,767
[people screaming]

542
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:58,187
- [Ron] Geez whiz!
- [extinguisher whooshing]

543
00:23:58,188 --> 00:24:02,066
- [crew yelling]
- Oh! Oh no!

544
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,570
[quiet set chatter]

545
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:07,739
[crew member] Go
ahead and strike that!

546
00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:10,117
[set chatter continues]

547
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,244
- You need a hand?
- [Oliver] No, no.

548
00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:15,663
- I don't need your help.
- 'Cause I can if...

549
00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:18,165
Oh no, no, I've
already asked too much.

550
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:20,752
I don't wanna be "insufferable."

551
00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,884
[bag crinkling]

552
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:35,392
You're my emergency contact.

553
00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:38,436
What?

554
00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:41,063
Well, when I fill out
forms, I put your name.

555
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:44,483
And I know you used to put
mine, but now it's Loretta's.

556
00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:46,235
- [♪ soft music playing]
- You know,

557
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:49,948
I always knew Mabel would one day
spread her wings and leave, but...

558
00:24:51,116 --> 00:24:54,453
you and me, I thought we'd,
you know, grow old... er,

559
00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:58,540
and die together.
[slight chuckle] Uh...

560
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:00,875
And don't get me wrong,

561
00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:03,419
I like Loretta. I
really like Loretta.

562
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,298
But now, I'm kinda
the awkward guy,

563
00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:09,759
third-wheeling it on your dates.

564
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,472
You know, saying, "Hey, let's
split a dessert three ways."

565
00:25:14,223 --> 00:25:15,265
You know,

566
00:25:16,475 --> 00:25:19,895
I never wanted, really, to
throw you a bachelor party.

567
00:25:21,271 --> 00:25:23,774
I just wanted to
celebrate our friendship.

568
00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:26,735
♪

569
00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:33,033
[inhales]

570
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:38,038
Y-You know, I'm hungry, if you
wanted to grab a bite to eat.

571
00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:41,333
- We could go to that Chinese place.
- Yeah.

572
00:25:42,376 --> 00:25:44,496
- Can you give me a hand? Yeah.
- Yeah, I can do that.

573
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:49,550
[restaurant chatter]

574
00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:56,515
You know we're gonna be
friends till the end.

575
00:25:57,057 --> 00:25:58,724
Oh God.

576
00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:01,769
I'm fine. You don't have
to say anything nice to me.

577
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,855
Especially not while
making eye contact.

578
00:26:03,856 --> 00:26:06,691
What if we went
behind our menus?

579
00:26:06,692 --> 00:26:09,278
That-That-That c...
That could work, yeah.

580
00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,822
I didn't have a bachelor party

581
00:26:12,823 --> 00:26:14,615
first time I got married,

582
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,951
and I didn't have a best man.

583
00:26:16,952 --> 00:26:20,788
And it's okay if I don't have a
bachelor party this time, too.

584
00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:23,750
But I do want you
to be my best man.

585
00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:25,960
[Charles] Hmm.

586
00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:27,378
Noodles look good.

587
00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:29,130
[Oliver] And if it would
make you feel better,

588
00:26:29,131 --> 00:26:32,217
you can be my Life Alert
contact in case I fall.

589
00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:35,928
And we can get
colonoscopies together.

590
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:38,389
[Charles] Yeah, yeah. Uh,

591
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:40,057
maybe the dumplings?

592
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,809
[waitress] Can I get
you something to drink?

593
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,479
- Oh, uh, two Johnnie Walkers.
- Of course.

594
00:26:52,154 --> 00:26:53,821
Where are you going?

595
00:26:53,822 --> 00:26:55,239
W-A-N-S.

596
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,659
- W-A-N-S?
- [waitress] Here you are.

597
00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:01,996
Ah, the whiskey.

598
00:27:01,997 --> 00:27:03,789
And...

599
00:27:03,790 --> 00:27:06,376
our naughty secret.

600
00:27:07,252 --> 00:27:10,255
[♪ gentle music playing]

601
00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:12,382
[frame plunking]

602
00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:17,513
[Oliver laughs]

603
00:27:20,933 --> 00:27:22,643
- [laughing]
- [quiet clap]

604
00:27:24,937 --> 00:27:26,688
Very good.

605
00:27:27,272 --> 00:27:28,814
I know this is...

606
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:31,276
not the bachelor party
you dreamed of, but...

607
00:27:32,236 --> 00:27:33,611
still...

608
00:27:33,612 --> 00:27:35,154
Charles, it's perfect.

609
00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:36,240
[glasses clink]

610
00:27:37,783 --> 00:27:40,285
Although, we are missing
the A-lister. Just saying...

611
00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:45,123
[gulps] You?

612
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:48,751
[laughs] Oh. Okay,
Charles. Uh...

613
00:27:48,752 --> 00:27:50,211
let me hide behind my menu

614
00:27:50,212 --> 00:27:52,797
until the awkwardness
of this moment clears.

615
00:27:52,798 --> 00:27:55,425
- [door bell jingles]
- [Oliver grunts]

616
00:27:56,552 --> 00:28:00,013
[Ron] Hi. I don't have a reservation,
but, uh, you know, table for one.

617
00:28:00,514 --> 00:28:02,515
You gotta be kidding me.

618
00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:03,851
- [shuts menu]
- What?

619
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:05,643
[Oliver gasps]

620
00:28:05,644 --> 00:28:08,647
The A-lister! You did it!

621
00:28:09,231 --> 00:28:10,566
Oh, my God!

622
00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:13,276
It's you! Ollie!

623
00:28:13,277 --> 00:28:14,861
- It's Ron-Ron!
- Ron-Ron!

624
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,445
[both slurping]

625
00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:19,073
- [both laughing]
- [back-patting]

626
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:23,036
I loved it in Mayberry when you'd
go down by the fishin' hole!

627
00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:27,373
Don't ever mention
the fishin' hole.

628
00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:28,624
[♪ curious music playing]

629
00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:31,335
- Okay, let it go. Come on. Shake it off.
- Don't.

630
00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:32,838
[Oliver shushing]

631
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:39,635
Oh, Mabel, thank God!

632
00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,470
Bev said you agreed to
help with the new pages.

633
00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:44,682
Fuck. Look, Marshall, I'm not
in the mood for this right now.

634
00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:48,060
Please, i-it'll be quick. D-Do
you think Mabel would say,

635
00:28:48,061 --> 00:28:50,438
- "The name's Mora, Mabel Mora."
- [lock code beeping]

636
00:28:50,439 --> 00:28:53,399
- Or, "I'm Mabel Fucking Mora!"
- [door unlocks]

637
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,483
I'm thinking number two.

638
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:57,403
- I wouldn't say either one of those.
- [Marshall P. Pope] Oh God.

639
00:28:57,404 --> 00:28:59,615
It-It's-It's awful. I-I'm awful.

640
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,117
Please. Bev is threatening to fire
me if I don't get these right.

641
00:29:03,118 --> 00:29:05,411
I-I'll do anything.
I-I'm stuck. I just...

642
00:29:05,412 --> 00:29:07,121
I can't capture your voice.

643
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:10,249
Yeah, well, I don't think my
voice needs to be captured.

644
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,084
Another person is dead,

645
00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:14,420
and had I solved the case

646
00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:17,465
or figured out the
stuntman angle sooner,

647
00:29:17,466 --> 00:29:20,718
he'd still be alive.
But, he's not.

648
00:29:20,719 --> 00:29:23,138
Wow. That...

649
00:29:23,889 --> 00:29:25,974
is some Mabel dialogue.

650
00:29:26,683 --> 00:29:28,936
- D-Do you mind if I just... I'm gonna...
- [door slams]

651
00:29:33,190 --> 00:29:34,899
[Ron] <i>So then, Hanks
leans over to me,</i>

652
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:36,526
and he says,

653
00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:39,111
"I don't actually
like ranch dressing."

654
00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:40,988
- [soft laughter]
- [Oliver] Oh! That's good.

655
00:29:40,989 --> 00:29:43,032
Hey, uh, Ron. Uh,
speaking of funny stories,

656
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:46,452
we heard there was quite the
snafu on <i>Project Ronkonkoma.</i>

657
00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:49,039
Gonna need another
whiskey for that one.

658
00:29:49,915 --> 00:29:53,252
We never even finished it. I
remember everything about it though.

659
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:58,215
[sighs] You know,

660
00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:01,133
it's always tense on sets,

661
00:30:01,134 --> 00:30:03,469
days when there's
gonna be a big stunt,

662
00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:06,223
and doubly so when
fire is involved.

663
00:30:06,348 --> 00:30:08,474
Set and action!

664
00:30:08,475 --> 00:30:10,017
<i>But, everything went smooth.</i>

665
00:30:10,018 --> 00:30:12,311
- [tires screech]
<i>- The van screeched to a halt.</i>

666
00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:16,023
<i>A stuntman was thrown
out onto the ground,</i>

667
00:30:16,024 --> 00:30:19,944
<i>doused with gasoline, lit on
fire. It was exactly right.</i>

668
00:30:19,945 --> 00:30:21,028
Bitchin'!

669
00:30:21,029 --> 00:30:22,613
<i>So, I yelled "cut."</i>

670
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:24,699
Okay, cut! Fire out!

671
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,951
- [extinguisher hissing]
<i>- They put the guy out.</i>

672
00:30:26,952 --> 00:30:28,953
Okay, uh, let's go
to the Steadicam.

673
00:30:28,954 --> 00:30:33,207
<i>Except the guy didn't wait to
make sure he was completely out.</i>

674
00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:35,918
<i>Next thing I know,
he's walking toward me.</i>

675
00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:37,003
Hey, great job.

676
00:30:37,004 --> 00:30:39,463
<i>Saying he had something
he wanted to show me</i>.

677
00:30:39,464 --> 00:30:42,884
<i>- And-and suddenly, he reignites!</i>
- [flame whooshes]

678
00:30:42,885 --> 00:30:45,803
[screams] Oh! Ah!

679
00:30:45,804 --> 00:30:47,556
Geez whiz!

680
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:50,142
Burned my eyebrows off!

681
00:30:51,894 --> 00:30:53,019
[Oliver snorts]

682
00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,646
[Mabel] <i>Okay, I know
that I say fuck a lot,</i>

683
00:30:55,647 --> 00:30:59,109
- but not that fucking much.
- [typing]

684
00:31:03,488 --> 00:31:04,989
Yeah, maybe you're right.

685
00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:07,200
I should have more
faith in myself.

686
00:31:07,201 --> 00:31:08,784
I mean, it worked for you.

687
00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:10,411
- You want a beer?
- [Marshall] Hit me.

688
00:31:10,412 --> 00:31:14,415
- You finally got one of your scripts made.
- That's right. I did.

689
00:31:14,416 --> 00:31:16,292
[Marshall typing]

690
00:31:16,293 --> 00:31:19,004
- [♪ mysterious music playing]
- [Mabel] What is...?

691
00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,883
- Ron, Ron, Ron-Ron...
- Ron-Ron.

692
00:31:23,884 --> 00:31:27,053
Uh, we need to
find that stuntman.

693
00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:29,514
Well, if you do, get my
shoes back for me, will ya?

694
00:31:29,515 --> 00:31:31,724
He stole 'em right
outta my trailer.

695
00:31:31,725 --> 00:31:34,810
I had to buy another pair.
I can't work without these.

696
00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:37,397
They've got extra
cushioning in the heels.

697
00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:39,024
[shutter snaps]

698
00:31:39,483 --> 00:31:41,985
- Same as on the radiator.
- That's our guy.

699
00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:44,403
D-Do you remember his name?

700
00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:45,988
Oh, I'll never forget him.

701
00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:47,366
Rex Bailey.

702
00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:50,326
I have a photo of
him, if that helps.

703
00:31:50,327 --> 00:31:54,205
I always keep, uh, pictures
of people I ban from my sets.

704
00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:55,707
Uh...

705
00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:58,209
Oh, okay, here he is.

706
00:31:58,210 --> 00:32:00,795
[♪ dramatic music building]

707
00:32:00,796 --> 00:32:02,256
Huh?

708
00:32:03,882 --> 00:32:05,258
That kinda looks like...

709
00:32:05,259 --> 00:32:07,426
Yeah, but imagine with a beard.

710
00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:09,846
And add some glasses.

711
00:32:09,847 --> 00:32:11,764
And a dark bowl cut!

712
00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:14,059
♪

713
00:32:16,270 --> 00:32:18,020
Oh, my God.

714
00:32:18,021 --> 00:32:19,731
- [person screams]
- [tires screech]

715
00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:21,148
Whoa!

716
00:32:21,149 --> 00:32:22,984
- [papers rustling]
- [exhales]

717
00:32:22,985 --> 00:32:25,194
That was some flip!

718
00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:27,321
You ever stunted before?

719
00:32:27,322 --> 00:32:29,198
I'm trying to be a writer,

720
00:32:29,199 --> 00:32:32,034
but I wouldn't say
no to getting on set.

721
00:32:32,035 --> 00:32:35,914
Your first professional
fire stunt. Ah! Ready?

722
00:32:36,248 --> 00:32:37,874
- [Ron] Fire out!
- [extinguisher hissing]

723
00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:39,834
Okay, let's go to the
Steadicam, and I know I said...

724
00:32:39,835 --> 00:32:41,502
Mr. Howard? Mr. Howard!

725
00:32:41,503 --> 00:32:42,962
Hey, great job.

726
00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:44,464
Would you read my screenplay?

727
00:32:45,299 --> 00:32:47,176
Ah, when'd you grow
the beard, lassie?

728
00:32:48,302 --> 00:32:51,137
- [EKG beeping]
- What? It's you?

729
00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:52,890
- [beeping getting faster]
- What are...

730
00:32:54,016 --> 00:32:57,143
- [muffled yelling]
- [beeping faster]

731
00:32:57,144 --> 00:32:58,895
[gasping]

732
00:32:58,896 --> 00:33:00,855
[flatlining]

733
00:33:00,856 --> 00:33:02,107
[EKG fading out]

734
00:33:03,358 --> 00:33:06,361
[♪ dramatic music continues]

735
00:33:20,626 --> 00:33:22,669
- Marshall?
- Hm?

736
00:33:23,086 --> 00:33:26,757
Why does this script say it
was written by Sazz Pataki?

737
00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:29,384
[text chimes]

738
00:33:32,930 --> 00:33:36,767
- [♪ haunting piano note repeating]
- [ragged breathing]

739
00:33:38,393 --> 00:33:40,354
[♪ dramatic music playing]

740
00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:07,881
♪

741
00:34:30,404 --> 00:34:31,445
[♪ music ends]

742
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:34,449
[♪ fanfare playing]


