1
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This programme contains very strong
language and adult humour.

2
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Hi, I'm...

3
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My-rie or miri?

4
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It's miri.

5
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,520
Your last visit was September 2000.

6
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I was in prison for 18 years.

7
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Everyone deserves a second chance,
even murderers.

8
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Lara boback. Here's a tip.

9
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,200
If you're going to kill someone,
don't kill a copper's daughter.

10
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,800
Thank you...

11
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,760
..For making me feel normal.

12
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,520
Thank you.

13
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,360
It's not that easy dating when
everyone thinks you're a psychopath.

14
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,520
I don't.

15
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,120
Why did my dad give you a black eye?

16
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Miri?

17
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,760
Sweetheart?

18
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,880
You and Lara -
you were such good friends.

19
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I did not have sex with mr boback,
which I was accused of today.

20
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,640
Erm, I think it was Mandy that was
shagging him.

21
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Mandy!

22
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Did you lie and tell her I was
sleeping with her dad?

23
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I didn't want her to hate me.

24
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Get out of there
and I'll fucking kill you!

25
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,080
It was a long time ago and...

26
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..And I'm ready -
I'm ready to move on.

27
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I found my crimper.

28
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You look like one of them animals...
I love it.

29
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Erm, what are they called? Janice?

30
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,800
Yeah, right, erm, ok, six weeks out.

31
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,960
How are you coping with life
outside the facility?

32
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,960
All good.
I am on it like a car bonnet.

33
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,400
Well, I ain't writing that down.

34
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,440
Then just say "all good". Right.

35
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Are you currently in employment?

36
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,520
Well, you got me that
trial at the supermarket tomorrow.

37
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Yes, I know, miri.
This is a form, yeah? Christ!

38
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Calm down.

39
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:01,240
I have not had any protein
this morning, so... yeah? Ok.

40
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Current living arrangement?

41
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,640
I won't be there much longer.

42
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What, the palace too big for you?

43
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Too much hot water and gold leaf?

44
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The queen fucked my ex-boyfriend.

45
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,560
Oh, yeah.

46
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,760
Erm, do you have a good support
network? No, not really.

47
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,480
Yes! Yeah, well, I've got...
I've got friends.

48
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,240
Well, I've got a friend.
I've got... there's Billy.

49
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,840
Billy? What, boyfriend? No.

50
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:27,200
Well, not... Not yet. So you haven't
even... no. Please!

51
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,160
And what about that girl?
What's her name?

52
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,240
Mandy?

53
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,800
What about her?

54
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,560
Have you seen her... Since?

55
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,120
No,
and I don't intend to ever again.

56
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,720
Do you know the story about
that hamster under the carpet?

57
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,200
Oh, my god, if this is one
of your dirty jokes... no!

58
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Guy puts his hamster under
the carpet...

59
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,400
Why would he do that? I don't know!

60
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Anyway, he can't handle it,
so he puts it there, trips up.

61
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Dies.

62
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,360
You're hangry.

63
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Yes, I am.
I need a sausage or something.

64
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And I have not put a hamster
under the carpet.

65
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That's what you think.

66
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Oh, my god,
can you just get back to the form?

67
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Deal with it or you're going to
fall over, yeah?

68
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I am dealing with myself right now,
ok?

69
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,200
Things are good. I am moving on.

70
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,640
Excellent. Moving on? Yeah.

71
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With no best friend,

72
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,360
a guy you like but you haven't even
seen his cocky yet,

73
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,080
no real job, you don't
want to live at the palace any more,

74
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but you still live there.

75
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Boom! Anything else?
No, that's everything. Thank you.

76
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,240
And things could get worse.
Or they could get better.

77
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No, in my experience
they usually get worse -

78
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much, much worse.

79
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,320
I'm so sorry, miri.

80
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I've just got
this deep sense of foreboding.

81
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,600
It's probably just my period.
You need to eat something.

82
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,080
Yes, you're right, I do, but
what is there? What have I got?

83
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,000
Something in here?
Please let some...

84
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,720
Well, this is not strictly
a protein, but I do love me some...

85
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Don't... Noodles.

86
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Hm.

87
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Geri.

88
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Go away.

89
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,760
You look nice.

90
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,120
Have you got a new job?

91
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,640
Answer your mother.

92
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,720
No.

93
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,000
This is getting silly, miri.

94
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,720
You slept with dom.

95
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,480
Your wife slept with dom.

96
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,360
Oh, we can't live like this.

97
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,520
You haven't spoken to me
in three weeks.

98
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,040
This is ridiculous.

99
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,920
We are out of detergent.

100
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,840
Just talk to us.

101
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,560
I will be leaving this house soon.

102
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,560
What? It has become increasingly
clear that...

103
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,320
..We can no longer
cohabit so I shall be leaving...

104
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,320
Well...

105
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,520
..I'm going to be earning soon,
so, er, yeah, I'll get my own place

106
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,280
and then we don't have to do
this any more.

107
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,680
What place?
She can't afford anywhere.

108
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,720
She's going to go to some godawful
squat just to spite me.

109
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,880
She's not going anywhere.

110
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,000
We always knew this was temporary.

111
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She's an adult and we want her
to have her own life.

112
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Then we can have this whole place
to ourselves again.

113
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:14,400
Just you and me
and a well-stacked dishwasher.

114
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,360
It's always there...

115
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..Gently thudding in the background.

116
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,560
You get used to it.

117
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,640
I'm ok. I play golf.

118
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:34,760
I sail.

119
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,120
My wife and I go to church.

120
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,680
We exist...

121
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,760
..And then suddenly you're hit.

122
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Winded.

123
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,240
You can't believe
that you were ever ok.

124
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,160
It's a life sentence.

125
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,040
It's the rage I find the hardest.

126
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:10,800
Fury that she gets to live,
walk around, be free.

127
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,840
Begin a life when she took
my little girl from me.

128
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A life I created.

129
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She stole that.

130
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,320
And I want to stop her.

131
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,520
Halt her.

132
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Destroy her.

133
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,240
You can't do that, can you?

134
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,480
And you can't bring
the dead back to life.

135
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,840
Thank you for sharing, erm...

136
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,080
Oh, you don't have a name badge.

137
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,400
Sir?

138
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,840
Killed anyone yet?

139
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,720
Oh. Do you remember me?

140
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,760
Oh, yeah.

141
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,240
I am so, so, so happy that it's you.

142
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,120
Angela says I'm in charge of you.

143
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,760
I'm your mentor/namaste.

144
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,960
Do you mean Nemesis?

145
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,800
Yeah. I'm Angela's eyes and ears,
ok?

146
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,960
So it's kind of up to me
if you get the job or not. Yay!

147
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,160
Well done on... on the moustache

148
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,000
cos they're quite hard to grow,
aren't they?

149
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,800
Stack that.

150
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,120
Aisle 13.

151
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,960
But before you start,
could you just, erm,

152
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,560
go the stockroom and ask Geoff
if he's got a "glass hammer"?

153
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,840
A glass hammer? Yeah.

154
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,520
Sure.

155
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:54,440
He's always got something to do,
hasn't he? So purposeful.

156
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,120
My only purpose is to be
the town pariah.

157
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,160
I don't know why I'm talking to you,
you hate me more than anyone.

158
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,480
I wonder if he'll notice
I didn't rinse the tomato tin.

159
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,760
Caroline!

160
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,920
Women laugh

161
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,240
..like this.

162
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,520
I'm sorry, but do you know where the
washing powder is? Oh, god, so...

163
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,400
Oh! Yes, it's me.

164
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,160
It's me. I'm just pretending to be
a customer. Oh.

165
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,360
But I do need washing powder, so...
Oh, god, I literally just started,

166
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,960
so I don't know where it... oh,
sorry, sorry. I'm showing you up.

167
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,240
I changed my mind.
I don't want it any more.

168
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,600
So what... what's this?

169
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,800
I panicked. I wanted to look like
a realistic shopper. Wow. Yeah.

170
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,440
Thank you for coming. Yeah.

171
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,240
Well, I just wanted to see
you in action, that's all.

172
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,320
Well, here I am... yeah... Stacking
some shelves in a shop. Yeah.

173
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:59,760
Ah, well, I just wanted to see you,
your face, so...

174
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,480
Still here. Yes, it is.

175
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,960
Ah, yeah, no, no, no. It's fine.

176
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,520
Erm, right, so I should let you
work. Ok. Well, yeah.

177
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,920
I need to impress them so that
they employ me properly. Right.

178
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,480
Good luck. Thank you. All right.

179
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,480
Thanks for...
Yeah, sure... Saying hi.

180
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,680
Well, goodbye. See you. See you
soon. Yeah, yeah.

181
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:19,840
I'll see you later.

182
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,520
Sandwich! Sandwiches! What?

183
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,080
I like... I haven't had a sandwich.

184
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,960
We could have a sandwich at lunch
today? Yeah, yeah, I'd love that.

185
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,440
Yeah, yeah. On the beach bench?

186
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,280
I could... we could share a sandwich
on the... I could make them. Yes!

187
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:36,400
Yes. I can. Ok. I've made them
before so... oh. Yeah, yeah.

188
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,080
Ok, good. So I'll see you at one?
1? Yes, it's a date.

189
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,920
Yeah, well, it's not, because I'm...
I'm newly widowed. Oh, god, no.

190
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,120
I didn't mean it in a... I was...
That was a joke.

191
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,240
That was a it could have been
a joke. Ok, but it's not.

192
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,160
I know it's not.
I know. Yeah, it's the truth.

193
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,440
What did Geoff say?

194
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,920
Oh, Geoff...

195
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,000
..Geoff said that, erm,
glass hammers don't exist

196
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,640
because they would break
if you tried to use them.

197
00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,720
Yeah.

198
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,040
You got me.

199
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,240
Now imagine a peaceful sea.

200
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,680
Somewhere beautiful.

201
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,720
Keypad beeps

202
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,600
somewhere safe and warm.

203
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:36,120
A place where you feel relaxed
and free.

204
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,240
Take your time to picture
the details of a scene

205
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,800
using all your senses.

206
00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:00,240
Close your eyes and take a moment
to settle into your environment...

207
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,760
..Into your body...

208
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,000
..Into your breath.

209
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,920
Can you hear the birds singing?

210
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,360
The waves lapping gently
on the shore?

211
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:33,520
Brrr! In my head,
it wasn't quite this freezing.

212
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,680
Yeah. Lovely sandwich, though.

213
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,760
Mmm.

214
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,320
We didn't have many
sandwiches in prison.

215
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,640
Really? Oh.

216
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,200
Well, you'd think they'd be
everywhere. Yeah.

217
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,800
No, I know, but... no?

218
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,880
No.

219
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,920
Oh, look...

220
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,040
..For you.

221
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,000
Oh, my god.

222
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,240
Yeah, I found it packing.

223
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,760
No, Billy!

224
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,240
It's old, but it does the job

225
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,320
and it means that we can, erm,
stay in touch if you like.

226
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,600
Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

227
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,320
Does it have snake on it?
Yes, it does. Ohhh!

228
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,520
Mandy and I used
to have these competitions.

229
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,600
Yeah. And I'd always...

230
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,440
Yeah.

231
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,080
Ugh! Anyway.

232
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,400
Are you ok?

233
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,440
Yes. Yeah, I'm fine.

234
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,840
Is it the sandwiches?
Too... too gloopy?

235
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,920
No, they're lovely. It's all lovely.
Everything's lovely.

236
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,440
Hmm.

237
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,760
You know, Anna always used
to say, "never hold it in.

238
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,320
"Let it out,
otherwise it turns to poison."

239
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,680
She would just fling open
the bedroom windows

240
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,480
and roar it to the night sky.

241
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,760
Miri, if there's something bothering
you... nothing is bothering me.

242
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,960
It's just...
Can you just drop it, please?

243
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:58,680
I'm sorry.

244
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,400
No. No, I mean it's...

245
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,200
..It's fine.

246
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,520
I've got gardens to do anyway.

247
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,720
Catch you later.

248
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,800
Mandy!

249
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,280
Knocking continues
Mandy!

250
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,880
I need Mandy. She's at school.

251
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,200
No, no, I went to school.
They said she was at home.

252
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,920
She went to school. They said you
were at home. Fuck's sake, mark.

253
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,480
Shit.

254
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,520
I... I think she's at school. Mandy!

255
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,640
Tell her to go away.

256
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,880
Go away.

257
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,160
I forgive you. I forgive you.

258
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,840
No, you don't. No, you don't.

259
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,560
Yes, I do! Look, you have ruined
the last 18 years of my life

260
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,560
and I'm not letting you fuck up the
rest, so I forgive you.

261
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,960
Look, of course you don't.
Shut the door, mark.

262
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,280
Don't you just... no.

263
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,960
Argh! How dare you?!
I just forgave you.

264
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:10,200
That is so rude, Mandy munther.
What a rude woman you are!

265
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,360
Sorry.

266
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,040
Phone rings

267
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,640
yes?

268
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,400
I dealt with the hamster. What?

269
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,960
I just forgave Mandy, and she had
the balls to not accept it.

270
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,040
An alpaca, you look like an alpaca!

271
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,400
Excuse me, but that is pretty
extraordinary of me.

272
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,400
It shows great strength
of character.

273
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,560
Oh, my god,
why can't you get a therapist?

274
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,440
I don't need a therapist. I do.

275
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,280
Look, you didn't mean it
and she smelt it.

276
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,480
Ugh! If you're going to forgive her,
then you've got to do it.

277
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,840
You've got to
Michelle Obama her good and proper.

278
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,360
Rise above or stay angry forever.
It's your bed.

279
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,800
Her lie has fucked
up my entire life,

280
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,520
so I'm sorry
if I can't Michelle Obama her.

281
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,480
Where was Michelle Obama when I
wanted someone to Michelle Obama me?

282
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,040
Probably in America and, anyway,
it's none of your business.

283
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,280
It literally is my business.

284
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,800
Think about it.

285
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,480
Your mate got manipulated by a bent
copper when she was 17.

286
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,960
Now, 90% of the women that I deal
with have been fucked up by men.

287
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,600
And these men,
they get away with it.

288
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,720
Honest to god,
if I didn't love cocky so much,

289
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,120
I would not have sex with men
just to punish them.

290
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,000
Janice! This is a quality poom poom,
miri. Fucking hell.

291
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,640
Er, sit down.

292
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,680
Sit.

293
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,880
When you load a dishwasher,

294
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,600
it is of utmost importance
that you maximise the capacity.

295
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,120
A plate at an angle uses up
three places...

296
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,760
Not now, dad, please.

297
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,120
Whilst you're still living
in this house,

298
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,600
you need to live by our rules.

299
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,840
And it is our responsibility to the
planet to load it properly.

300
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,520
Oh, man in hythe is
stacking his dishwasher correctly,

301
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,160
it's going to unmelt the arctic.

302
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,600
Oh, miri matteson,
you're worse than a teenager,

303
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,160
you're the terrible twos. Oscar.
No, I've had enough!

304
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,920
We understand that you're angry,
but it's been...

305
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,600
I'm not like you, dad. I can't just
pretend nothing happened.

306
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,920
What is wrong with you?

307
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,360
I'm not pretending.

308
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,720
I'm moving forward.

309
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,040
Well, it's really weird.

310
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:14,200
Your mother and I cannot continue to
live in such a hostile environment.

311
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,240
Me neither.

312
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,400
Good. Good. Good.

313
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,120
You spoke of second chances and
everyone making mistakes -

314
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,000
well, maybe you should listen to
yourself

315
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,720
and stop being such a sulky twat!

316
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,520
Twat?

317
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,320
What is a twat?

318
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,720
Hi, it's Billy.
Please leave a message.

319
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,560
Phone rings

320
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,440
I thought it was a trendy word
for idiot.

321
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,360
I had no idea it was
gynaecological.

322
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,120
Are we ok?

323
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,080
Yeah, why wouldn't we be?

324
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,080
Well... we're marvellous.

325
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,600
Everything is marvellous.

326
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,840
Talking of gynaecological...

327
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,440
Er, but miri's right,

328
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,680
one man and his dishwasher
does not a movement make.

329
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,680
We need community action. What?

330
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,440
There are no local environmental
groups in this town. Not one.

331
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,960
It's pathetic.

332
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,360
Social media, here I come.

333
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,920
Right, I'm going to have a shower.

334
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,120
Then I'm going to design my logo,
"make hythe clean".

335
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,120
What are you going to do?
Oh, busy. Busy.

336
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,440
Water splashes argh!

337
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,520
Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to frighten you.

338
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,920
What are you doing?
We have the house to ourselves.

339
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,600
We can do whatever we want.
But there's soap on my...

340
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,280
It doesn't matter.
Oh, how do we do it? I'm...

341
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,800
..I'm standing up. Like this.

342
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,680
Ow! Caroline? What? My vagina!

343
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,800
Miri matteson to aisle four.

344
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,040
Miri matteson...
Oh, fuck's sake... To aisle four.

345
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,080
She gasps

346
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,120
I need to ask you something. Yes.

347
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,480
Was my husband...

348
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,400
..With Mandy?

349
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,480
I think... was he?

350
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,160
Yes.

351
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,200
Ok.

352
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,720
He had me put on valium.
I was mad, apparently.

353
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:58,840
Christ.

354
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,440
Please don't think that me...

355
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,600
..Existing is me forgetting...

356
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,520
..What I did.

357
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,240
I have hated you for so long.

358
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,280
Despised you.

359
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,360
Of course.

360
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,920
But I can't do that any more.

361
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,120
We all owe it to Lara
to finally live our lives.

362
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,680
I've left him.

363
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,080
I was never here.

364
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,400
Do you understand?

365
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,440
Yes.

366
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,200
Whoo! You're leaving before
your shift's up?

367
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,520
Not good for a trial week.
Angela is going to hate that.

368
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,320
Ok, do you want to do this? What?

369
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,200
Because I'm not doing it yet,
but I can start.

370
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,800
Oooh. I'm scared.

371
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,680
I am adept at dealing with
conflict in a confined space.

372
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,720
I did it for 18 years
when I was in prison for murder.

373
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,760
So if you want me to be your enemy,
then I can start now.

374
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,080
Do you want that? No.

375
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,520
Ok, so what are you going
to say to Angela?

376
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,360
Just that you were focused
and punctual

377
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,840
and you never left early. Good.

378
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,640
See you soon,
you stupid little cunt.

379
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,040
Seen better 'taches in prison,
by the way.

380
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,480
Women's prison.

381
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,320
It's ovarian cancer.

382
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,640
Or stomach.

383
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,160
And I'm going to die.

384
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,920
Let's not jump to conclusions.
At least chemotherapy will give me

385
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,760
somewhere to be once a week.
Caroline!

386
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,840
Mrs matteson?

387
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,240
So it looks like your chlamydia
was left untreated for too long

388
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,600
and you've developed
pelvic inflammatory disease.

389
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,480
So, she's not dying?

390
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,760
No, but you do need to take it
easy, especially at your age.

391
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,960
Sorry?

392
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,520
You need to take antibiotics
and refrain from intercourse.

393
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,720
We will do that, doctor.

394
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:48,800
Er, thank you.

395
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,640
Well, at least your twat's ok.

396
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,040
It just needs a rest.

397
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,160
We can watch more documentaries.

398
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,440
Oh.

399
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,640
Or something else.
Caroline, you should be happy.

400
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,000
That's it now.

401
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,080
That's what we're doing.

402
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,840
Waiting to die.

403
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,440
No, we're not.

404
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,600
We're together.

405
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,960
What do you want?

406
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,040
I don't know.

407
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,440
Fuck you, Caroline.
I gave you everything.

408
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,760
And I forgave you everything.

409
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,960
What more do you want from me?

410
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,480
Hi, is Mandy here?

411
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,320
Er, no, no, she's not.

412
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,120
You are a terrible liar, mark.

413
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,240
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

414
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,440
No. No. Mandy!

415
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,360
I saw Lara's mum.

416
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,920
She wasn't with him, but she knows.

417
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,480
Oh, Christ. No, no.

418
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,600
We are doing this.

419
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,200
Ok, you're right.

420
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,600
I don't forgive you.

421
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:52,840
I can't.

422
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,480
I probably can't, because...
Because I don't know how to.

423
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,640
I understand.

424
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:58,840
Cos what you did...

425
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,240
I know, I know.

426
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,240
But we have to work it out
for Lara.

427
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,640
We can't waste any more time.

428
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,160
And I...
I can't waste any more of my life.

429
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,960
And also I need somewhere to stay
before I kill my fucking parents.

430
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,680
God, yeah, of course.

431
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,000
Whatever you need.

432
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,520
Mark screams

433
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,640
oh, right. Oh, god, sorry.

434
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,840
Oh, I misjudged the situation.

435
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,840
I thought that she was
going to, erm... no!

436
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,560
Fucking hell, mark.

437
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,000
Can I just say that you
really took your time?

438
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,360
Yeah. Because if I had been coming
up here to...

439
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,040
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah.

440
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,560
I was a bit nervous
and it was my first time.

441
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,960
And I didn't know what
to use as a, er...

442
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,240
..As a weapon.

443
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,560
So you chose a waffle maker?

444
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:42,680
I panicked.

445
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,280
Right, mark. Make up the spare room.

446
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,640
Oh, who for? Her? Really? Fuck. Ok.

447
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,280
Really? Yeah. Ok, ok.

448
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,480
Yeah, erm...

449
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,000
..I like your hair.

450
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,520
Thanks.
You look just like a mermaid.

451
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,400
Yes!

452
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,640
Phone beeps

453
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,240
you have one new message.

454
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,760
Apparently, that little
shit, Phil, told Angela

455
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,680
you were focused and punctual.

456
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,800
Gave you a real rave. So,
congratulations, the job is yours!

457
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:47,640
Lie back and let all thoughts
of the outside world float away.

458
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,320
Close your eyes and gently focus on
your breath.

459
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,160
And now breathe in...

460
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:01,520
..And then out.

461
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,480
In...

462
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,000
..And slowly out.

463
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:16,920
With each out breath, let all your
fears and worries ebb away.

464
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,400
You are warm.

465
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,280
You are safe.

466
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,560
This is your safe space.