1 00:00:44,395 --> 00:00:47,004 - Gently now, don't hurt me. - It won't hurt. 2 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,215 It hurt. 3 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,230 Is this working? 4 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,482 Good morning. I am Dr. Joseph prang. 5 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:09,069 Chief of staff, chief of surgery, chief of busting balls. 6 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,114 I'm sure you've all come here with high hopes. 7 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,949 Scalpel. And wonderful dreams. 8 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:17,786 You there with the turtleneck on. What do you hope to get out of all this? 9 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,749 Walter rist, New Jersey, hoboken. 10 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,543 Wanna be a psychiatrist... 11 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,713 Because I wanna help people put their twisted, wretched minds... 12 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,339 In a more peaceful place. 13 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,216 Not a chance, doctor. 14 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:35,053 Thurman flicker, coon valley, Wisconsin. 15 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,557 - Gynecology, I think. - Next. 16 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,851 Charles litto. Chicago: 17 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,604 Anesthesiologist. I like to pass gas. 18 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,064 That's wonderful, Dr. Litto. 19 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,442 We're down here trying to save a man's life... 20 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,986 And you're up there making fartjokes. 21 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,951 My name is Milton Chamberlain, Miami, Florida. 22 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,578 Proctologist? 23 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,622 No, sir. Pediatrician. 24 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,291 Young lady, how about you? 25 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,253 Hi. 26 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,090 I'm Stephanie Brody, and I'm from Vermont. 27 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,301 I want to specialize in rural medicine... 28 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,095 So I can open a clinic in my hometown. 29 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,474 Buck de vol. All-American university of Iowa. 30 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,683 Dream faster, son. 31 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,769 - Yeah. Sports medicine. - Next. 32 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,936 Phil burns. 33 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,732 And I am from the really ugly part of rego park in long island in queens. 34 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,776 And I had, like, a hideous childhood... 35 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,736 Wait a minute. Excuse me, burns. 36 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,197 Dr. Stevens, who is that? 37 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,658 That's Dr. Byner. He's assisting today. 38 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,868 - Why is he wearing a white cap? - Excuse me? 39 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:43,205 He's wearing a white cap. I'm wearing a white cap. 40 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,332 Everybody else is wearing blue caps. 41 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:49,211 Well, we were all out of blue caps, so I gave him a white cap. 42 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,505 Get him out of here. 43 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,050 I'm sorry, burns. You were saying, ugly, hideous... 44 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,469 Yes. To support myself... 45 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:02,182 See, I'm working two jobs to become an allergist and be somebody. 46 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,475 Thank you. 47 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,894 And the one in the back there. 48 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,146 What's your dream, young man? 49 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,025 Dr. Simon August. Beverly hills, California. 50 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:15,320 I'm going to be the greatest surgeon the world has ever known. 51 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,906 Oh, god, he's gonna want a white cap. 52 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,701 Think fast. 53 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,790 I can promise you all two things. 54 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,712 One: This will be the worst year of your lives. 55 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,883 Two: Those of you who finish will be the best doctors in the state. 56 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,679 For the next 12 months, you will learn to hate my guts. 57 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,681 I may break some of you. 58 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,226 But those of you who survive will thank me. Get out of here. 59 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,356 That's better. I like your hat. 60 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:55,861 Attention. New interns report for duty on January 1. 61 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,446 Happy new year. 62 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,389 Happy new year! 63 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:47,913 The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of patients only. 64 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,247 No parking. 65 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,837 I want to go back to the party. 66 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:04,054 - I'm telling you, we don't have any room. - I know. Just get his history, Perez. 67 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,891 All right, let's go back in there. We'll get that fly right out of your ear. 68 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,101 All right, Nick, come on. 69 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,813 Get these people to quit smoking. 70 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,398 - And find that duck. - The duck? 71 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,859 I'm telling you, find me more help tonight. 72 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,529 Or find yourself a new chief resident. 73 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,538 Now, I've got this new intern here for you, and I found three girls. 74 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,957 Three candy-striper volunteers. 75 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,544 Two of them are paramedics, and one worked in publicity. 76 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,130 - I'll take the one with the tits. - Linda. 77 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:46,596 City hospital emergency. Nurse Chang speaking. 78 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,515 I'll talk to you later. 79 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:49,891 What happened? 80 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:52,352 - There's a fly in my ear. - A fly flew into his ear. 81 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,063 A fly in your ear? Let's see. 82 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,692 Hello, city hospital. Emergency. 83 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,986 Emergency in room a, Dr. Jacobs. 84 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,196 Perez, take care of his fly. 85 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,746 - What the hell are you doing? - Leave her alone, mom. 86 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,007 Hey, what the hell's going on? 87 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,051 Tell Jacobs those new interns are here. 88 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,310 Good evening. 89 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:38,565 All right, doctors, I have got an emergency room full of trouble. 90 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,608 Let's go. 91 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,653 Nurse, sorry, but the schedule says "let's get acquainted party, Sunday night." 92 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,697 First day of duty, Monday. 93 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,241 It's still Sunday night. Happy new year. 94 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,702 Wrong, doctor. 95 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,788 It's 12:03 am. You're on duty. 96 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,625 - Let's go, doctors. - Careful, don't step on Milton. 97 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,752 Who do we examine first? 98 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,046 Let's see, there we go, room 5. 99 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,842 You missed a great party, doctor. 100 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,678 I didn't become a doctor to go to parties, nurse. 101 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,097 I didn't become a doctor to be called "nurse." 102 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,766 Thank you, nurse. 103 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,435 This is Mr. Langley. 104 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,105 Doctor, I can't piss anymore. 105 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,524 - How old are you? - I'm 82 years old. 106 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,276 You've pissed enough. 107 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,570 For Pete's sake. 108 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,114 I was just joking. He didn't get it. 109 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,241 I didn't get it, either. 110 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,246 Inside mob sources say godfather sal bonafetti... 111 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,831 And his son Angelo... 112 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,501 Are marked for extinction by the underworld. 113 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,587 Needless to say, they are unavailable for comment. 114 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,258 It's new year's Eve. 115 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,178 I can't stand this fucking hiding anymore. I wanna go out. 116 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,931 Angelo, listen to me, I wanna go out. 117 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,642 There's three fucking families trying to kill you. 118 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,894 You got no brains? Can I have some coffee? 119 00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,689 You shouldn't talk to your father that way. 120 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,232 Shut your mouth! 121 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,696 I want quiet. 122 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,741 I can't stand this no more. I can't take it. 123 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:16,162 All my life, always screaming. 124 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,957 I can't stand the screaming! 125 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:22,043 Stop screaming! 126 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,966 - What's the matter, pop? - Pop, spit it out. 127 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,637 Pop, it's me, it's Angie. 128 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,098 - Say something. - He looks sick. 129 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,391 Will you shut up? 130 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,351 Keep your mouth shut! 131 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,186 We gotta get him to a hospital. Come on. 132 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,856 It's not safe to go out. We gotta keep him in hiding. 133 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,984 But don't you think letting him die here defeats the purpose? 134 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,193 He's right. 135 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,946 You disguise pop, I'll disguise me. 136 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,627 It's gonna be all right, pop, you'll see. It's gonna be all right. 137 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,129 Have you got the ambulance yet? 138 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,673 Sir, I can't just get you an ambulance. 139 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,843 - I want the best doctor in the place. - Does he have any mobility? 140 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,261 - What? - Mobility? 141 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,681 - His arms, his legs, can he move? - What are you talking about? 142 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,891 - Sorry. - What are you doing? 143 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,226 He's all better now. Now do me a favor. 144 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,063 Don't tell anybody that Dr. Buck fixed your duck. 145 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:33,073 Will one of the interns please report to room b? 146 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,994 Then he cornered me in the back of the bus... 147 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,580 And then he started pulling at my clothes. 148 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,248 Did he say anything? 149 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,625 Yeah, he did. He said: 150 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:47,712 "First I'm gonna lick you all over." 151 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,173 - Lick? - Lick. 152 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,967 "And then I'm gonna..." 153 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,929 I can't say it. 154 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,555 Here. 155 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:02,519 Write down everything he was going to do after "lick." 156 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,604 Hello, Rocco, yeah. 157 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,691 Look, we got here safe. The disguises are perfect. 158 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,569 Yeah, but I don't trust nobody. 159 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,155 There's a rumor that the gallentino family... 160 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,199 Brought in a hit man from Rhode Island. 161 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,581 Attention. Starting Monday, all nurses must wear underwear. 162 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,417 - Next time you'll know better. - But I was... 163 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,295 No, Dr. Prang won't let us break the rules. 164 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,475 - What's your name? - Salvatore is his name. 165 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,479 - Does he have blue cross? - Yeah, he's got everything. 166 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,481 Are you the wife? 167 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,692 Is this this is your life or something? 168 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,986 Would you please find a room for him, lady? 169 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,071 Don't have any rooms. He'll go in the ward. 170 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,116 - Check first. - I just checked. We're full. 171 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,160 Please, lady, would you call the room people? 172 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,245 There might have been a cancellation. 173 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,706 I'm a doctor, you're cured. Get the hell out of here. 174 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,874 Who are you? 175 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,835 That's my cousin guido. And this here's my husband. 176 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,503 - Nice to meet you. - Get the other guy. 177 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,339 My name is Mickey Callaghan, and I paid for this room. 178 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,175 Yeah, so what? Who cares? 179 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,094 Get out of here. You're going home, you're all better. 180 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,387 Are you my doctor? 181 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,598 Yeah, my uniform's in the laundry. 182 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,852 Hello, hospital? Yes, there's an empty room now. 183 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,688 - You can send up Mr. Bonafetti. - You're always on the phone. 184 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,816 It's amazing. There is a room. 185 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,401 It's a miracle. 186 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,070 Excuse me. 187 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,281 How long has he been like this? 188 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,325 Since the war. Who gives a damn? 189 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,745 Have you seen Valerie or bunny, those girls in the red striped dress? 190 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,707 - We're over here, miss Chang. - We're over here. 191 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,501 Nurse sprockett is looking for you. 192 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,431 Here's what he said. Now don't read it out loud. 193 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,018 "I'm gonna suck..." 194 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,728 "And then I'll..." 195 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,688 "Your brains out." 196 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,899 A sick, perverted human being. 197 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,235 He ought to be hung up by his things. 198 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,571 Nurse Chang. 199 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,408 Get this woman a place to lie down until she's ready to go home. 200 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,743 Thank you. 201 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:27,914 Just wait till I tell you what happened to me on the bus. 202 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,250 Officer, thank you. 203 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,505 These are neat. 204 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,382 Are you a waitress? 205 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,300 No. I'm a prostitute. 206 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,553 I just wear these to turn on the guys. 207 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,555 How far along is she? 208 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,809 Well, she doesn't know exactly, but she's huge. 209 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:51,646 All right, young lady, you'll have a beautiful baby in no time. 210 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,607 I don't think so, doctor. 211 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,442 What? What are you talking about? 212 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,986 Hysterical pregnancy. 213 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,656 She wants a straight life so badly, she's convinced herself she's pregnant. 214 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,200 Doctor, this girl is in heavy labor. 215 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,661 It's just not so, doctor. 216 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,456 Get out. 217 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,046 Thank you, doctor. 218 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,341 - What happened? Was that a balloon? - Next. 219 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,093 Poor kid. 220 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:29,017 I never knew it was possible for a medical doctor to be so unfeeling. 221 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,312 It sounds to me like you're falling in love with him. 222 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,906 - How old are you? - Seventeen. 223 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,161 I'm 27. 224 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,124 Hold me, like you held that duck. 225 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,129 We're gonna take good care of your dad. Okay? 226 00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,839 Yeah, that's nice of you. 227 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,970 You don't have to worry your pretty face about it. 228 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:43,424 Dr. Pepper, please report to the diabetes ward at once. 229 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,734 Sal? Is that you? 230 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,697 It is you. 231 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,161 Got yourself a big private room, huh? 232 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,123 All alone. 233 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,916 That's nice. 234 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,919 I got a little something for you. 235 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,715 A goodbye kiss from the gallentino family. 236 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,472 The gallentino family always kisses on the nose. 237 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,433 Not in my hospital. 238 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,769 What did you put up there? 239 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,689 Move and you'll be shitting glass for a week. 240 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,611 Thank you, ladies. 241 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,780 What's your name? 242 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,740 - Malamud. - Where are your records? 243 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,492 I don't know, I lost them. 244 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,911 Well, I'll find them. What's wrong with you? 245 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,205 I'm sick, okay? 246 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,082 You sure are, pal. 247 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:04,130 And so, without further fuss, I give you the ever-diligent... 248 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,216 Dr. Oliver Ludwig. 249 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,721 - Doctors. - Hello. 250 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,474 Welcome. 251 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:19,020 Here in pathology, we consult the dead... 252 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,732 And ask them how we may cure the living. 253 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,986 Here we interpret the messages the body sends us. 254 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:30,656 Messages found in substances... 255 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,993 The uninformed find disgusting. 256 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,663 They are not disgusting, they are beautiful. 257 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,791 They are the literature of pathology. 258 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:47,507 The human being emits, oozes, secretes... 259 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:52,136 Excretes, salivates, urinates, menstruates, lactates... 260 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,847 Evacuates, expectorates... 261 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,016 And ejaculates. 262 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,518 You left out regurgitates. 263 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,853 Don't help me, kurtzman. 264 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:06,400 Now, there are more than twenty vital bodily fluids. 265 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,695 And I'm proud to say that I have tasted every one of them. 266 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,406 This urine, for example. 267 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,451 What will it tell us? 268 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,669 Definite sugar taste. 269 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,673 Now I don't need a battery of tests to tell me... 270 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,217 That the patient has a slight pre-diabetic condition. 271 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,386 Doctor, will you confirm my findings? 272 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,721 No, thank you, I'm trying to cut down. 273 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,182 That's an order, doctor. 274 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,646 I know my limit. 275 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,985 No sugar. 276 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,284 No sugar taste, the doctor says. 277 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,786 Just my little way of showing you that... 278 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:02,999 There's something far more important to the pathologist than taste. 279 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,835 That is the power of observation. 280 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,839 If you had been observing, doctor, you would have seen that I put... 281 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,301 This finger in the urine, but I put this finger in my mouth. 282 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,304 Lesson number one, doctor. 283 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,852 Yes, but if you had tasted the specimen, doctor... 284 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,855 You would have noticed a dangerously high level of fractoids. 285 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:29,066 This patient has pituitary thrombosis. 286 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,610 Well, let me see that. 287 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,953 Tastes like plain old piss to me, doctor. 288 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:49,754 With a slight metallic flavor, indicating a high level of zinc. 289 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,466 Doctor, here, you try. 290 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,224 No, wait. Just a minute. 291 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,769 I didn't really taste the urine. I was just kidding. 292 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:05,853 You what? 293 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,024 I did the same thing he did. I switched fingers. I thought it was obvious. 294 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,235 Can I have a word with you, doctor? 295 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:16,572 You might have made a fool out of some of my colleagues... 296 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,075 But you'll have to get up early to put one over... 297 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,743 On Dr. Oliver Wendell Ludwig. 298 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,995 Now you look at this face, what do you see? 299 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,997 I see alcohol poisoning... 300 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,458 And prosiasis in the tertiary stage. 301 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,919 Get out. 302 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,131 - Out! All of you! - I think we've been dismissed. 303 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,469 Get out, every one of you. 304 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,304 - What did I say? - Come on. 305 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,098 Where's the little guy? 306 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,353 What are you doing tonight, Simon? 307 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,397 I thought I might learn some of this stuff. 308 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,440 Drop out? You okay, man? 309 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:55,403 Who is in charge of pills and drugs here at this hospital? 310 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,654 Nurse sprockett. 311 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,365 Do you think she can get me some speed or some uppers? 312 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,701 I guess she might, if she likes you enough. 313 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,285 She likes me? 314 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,831 You won't believe the note that she gave me. Read that. 315 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:14,922 You know, some of these words have never been said in the state of Wisconsin. 316 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,007 She's an animal. 317 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,845 Hi, remember me? 318 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,764 I'm the doctor you saw when you were first admitted. 319 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:27,184 I'm sorry. Walter rist. 320 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:32,773 Anyway... 321 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:39,238 Yes, I know, and I'm sorry. But it was the only bed available. 322 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,824 And I knew you'd prefer it to the mental ward. 323 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:49,623 Okay, I'm gonna give it to you straight. You're paralyzed with fear. 324 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,712 But then again, maybe you already knew that. 325 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,632 You're safe here. Nobody can harm you. 326 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,468 I promise you that. 327 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,735 In them old cotton fields back home 328 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,447 well, it was down in Louisiana 329 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,492 just about a mile from texarkana 330 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,828 in them old cotton fields back home 331 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,623 where do you want me to lick you first? 332 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,597 When them cotton balls get rotten 333 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,141 you can't pick very much cotton 334 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:54,438 - I'm glad you asked me out, Stephanie. - You fascinate me, Simon. 335 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,233 I've never been out with such an insensitive genius. 336 00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:00,277 Thank you. Now, tell me all about Burnaby mountain. 337 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:03,280 It's where I live. It's in Vermont. 338 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,658 My father was the only doctor. 339 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,160 He used to work 24 hours... 340 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,996 And half the time people couldn't even pay him. 341 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,291 They used to give him chickens and stuff like that. 342 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:15,584 Anyway... 343 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:19,171 When he died, everybody knew that he wanted me to be a doctor. 344 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,800 So they took up a collection to send me to medical school... 345 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,886 To return to Burnaby mountain... 346 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,472 To take up where my dad left off. 347 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:32,017 They're all praying for me, Simon, the whole town. 348 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,520 They paid him with chickens? 349 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,899 Why would anyone practice in a silly place like that? 350 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:46,073 Stephanie? What did I say? 351 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,663 Stephanie. 352 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,878 Stephanie, what is it? 353 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:01,338 It's nothing. I'm fine. 354 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,884 You, get your hand out of there. 355 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,677 - Check, please. - I had two salads. 356 00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:11,682 Curtain time. Good morning, sal. 357 00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:14,560 Here's your breakfast. 358 00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,529 Stop fooling around. 359 00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:29,033 Now get back in that bed. Today's your lucky day. 360 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,118 - What day? - Your surgery day. 361 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,494 We found your records. 362 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:36,040 What surgery? What records? I ain't getting no surgery. 363 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,585 What are you doing to me? 364 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:41,629 Now, Mr. M. Callahan. 365 00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,339 Who's Callahan? 366 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,799 - Malamud Callahan. - What? 367 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:51,055 Now, lots of people lead perfectly normal lives with only one kidney. 368 00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:52,765 What? 369 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:55,100 All right, ladies. Moving out. 370 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,894 One kidney? 371 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,646 Wait! 372 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,241 Here it is. 373 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:16,038 Okay, see if you can raise the bed now, Emilia. 374 00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:23,545 No good. 375 00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,298 This is a 35-year-old woman. 376 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:29,176 - Who did the workup? - Me. 377 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,971 She has all the symptoms of a thyroid disease. 378 00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:34,598 She has a very strange pain in her nose. 379 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,308 We'll have to examine her. 380 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:39,103 All right, you wanna spread your nostrils for me? 381 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,647 Any more mystery pains, Stephanie? 382 00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:44,775 Everyone gets dizzy once in a while, Simon. 383 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,735 Destroying an entire restaurant? 384 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,654 This is no small matter. 385 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,823 No snow up there. 386 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:54,493 If it bothers you, we won't go out. I have other dates. 387 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:57,746 Litto asked me out, thurman flicker asked me out. 388 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,004 Back on your box. 389 00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:07,881 I hope you turned them down. 390 00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,801 - You do? - Yes. 391 00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:14,430 Involvement with hospital staff could only end in disaster. 392 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,767 Any romance now would be ludicrous, and counterproductive to our studies. 393 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,686 Terrific. 394 00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:25,274 We'll spend every single moment studying, all yearlong. 395 00:25:26,275 --> 00:25:29,987 You'll make a fine doctor, Stephanie. Keep up the good work. 396 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:33,365 Yes, simple vitamin a deficiency. 397 00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:38,412 I think you get that from carrots. 398 00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:40,998 What? Vitamin a, or the deficiency? 399 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,334 - Burns. - Hemorrhoids. 400 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:48,881 I know you're holding down a couple ofjobs to pay your way through here. 401 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:51,216 If you can't handle it, get out. 402 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:54,219 Yes, Mr. Fitkin. 403 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,682 Doctors, we have here a man who was admitted with severe... 404 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,143 Abdominal pains and back spasms. 405 00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:02,770 What is your diagnosis? 406 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,396 I'd say gallbladder. 407 00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:07,149 - You say gallbladder? - Yes, sir. 408 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,527 Dr. Litto, your gallbladder is located here. 409 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,654 Appendix here. 410 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,949 Spleen, liver, kidneys! 411 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,703 It's important you learn to tell one from the other. 412 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:23,916 Now, this patient is suffering from a simple kidney infection. Next. 413 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,510 Here we have general malaise, hair falling out... 414 00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:37,387 Pain in the extremities, disgusting appearance. 415 00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:41,016 Dr. August, what is your diagnosis? 416 00:26:41,058 --> 00:26:42,768 Myasthenia chroepsis. 417 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:45,479 That's very good. Can you prove that? 418 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:49,066 No sir. Neither can you. No one can. 419 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,150 Why not? 420 00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:52,945 We won't know for sure until the autopsy. 421 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:54,780 I don't believe you, Simon. 422 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,782 That was real sensitive. 423 00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:00,244 - What did I say? - Think, Simon. 424 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:06,667 I don't know if he'll ever be... hi, milt. 425 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,586 I don't know if he'll ever be the warm, loving dad... 426 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,965 That you so desperately need, but we'll give it a try. 427 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:17,136 You know, in a sense, we're all to blame for sal. 428 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:19,388 Your attention please. 429 00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:23,851 Due to a mix-up in urology, no apple juice will be served this morning. 430 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,856 Hi. 431 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,358 Just mellow out. 432 00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,820 I'm sorry about what happened the other day. 433 00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:36,822 You gave me that note, what do you expect? 434 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:38,323 What note? 435 00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,908 In emergency. 436 00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:43,328 I didn't write that note. 437 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,092 Do I smell ba! De versailles? 438 00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,179 You might. 439 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,139 It's my scent. 440 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:04,516 I thought so. Here. 441 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,644 It's my way of saying that I'm sorry. 442 00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:10,439 Don't play with a nurse's affections, doctor. 443 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:14,860 I mean it. If I didn't have three jobs, it would be very different for me. 444 00:28:15,152 --> 00:28:17,112 Three jobs? 445 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:19,364 Is that why you're so tired all the time? 446 00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:22,492 Intern, umpire, and dancehall guy. 447 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:26,205 $1 a dance. $1.50 for the rumba. 448 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:29,291 Well, you poor man. 449 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,043 How do you do it? 450 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,463 Basically it's a box step. I'd like to share it with you. 451 00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:48,936 Back. 452 00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:57,236 Now, see the sun. 453 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:03,116 Now feel the space, turn. 454 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,787 Now up and dip. 455 00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:09,581 Yeah, that's good. 456 00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:13,710 Now come on, show me where your mother lives. Yeah, right there, come on. 457 00:29:14,962 --> 00:29:17,214 Remember "the pony"? 458 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:32,437 Why are we stopping? 459 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,774 I am so tired, I have no energy. I can't do anything. 460 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:38,068 - I'm falling apart. - You poor man. 461 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:40,195 - It's terrible for me. - Perhaps... 462 00:29:41,071 --> 00:29:43,991 An upper would be so friendly right now. 463 00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:45,826 So if you have anything... 464 00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:47,536 It would be so lovely. 465 00:29:47,577 --> 00:29:50,831 - Do you always wear that key? - I'm married to this key. 466 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:55,460 - Okey-dokey. - What a selection. 467 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,297 - Now just one. - One. 468 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,882 - I feel better already. - Yeah. 469 00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:02,509 Guajina is the bird. 470 00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:22,321 The dance ends with a big finish. 471 00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:24,489 It's one, two, three, and up. 472 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,712 That was really good, what you did there. 473 00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:42,466 I believed it, you danced, you used the space, it was terrific. 474 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,134 It was nice. 475 00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:47,262 "N. Sprockett." 476 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,306 What does the "n" mean? 477 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,350 Norine. 478 00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:54,353 - Can I call you norine? - Sure. 479 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,022 - Doctor... - Phil. 480 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:00,692 Phil. 481 00:31:01,735 --> 00:31:02,944 Norine? 482 00:31:03,987 --> 00:31:06,782 I think I could learn to be crazy about you. 483 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:22,964 Phil. 484 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,551 Good morning. City hospital. 485 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,929 Ready for surgery, doctor? 486 00:31:29,262 --> 00:31:31,807 Tell me, did Elizabeth Taylor call? 487 00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:35,936 Elizabeth Taylor did not call, and you are not ready for surgery. 488 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,854 That's funny. I thought sure she'd call. 489 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:41,191 I met her at the wedding. She looked at me with those big Violet eyes. 490 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:44,319 - I thought she would call. - Would I tell you wrong? 491 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,822 You wouldn't be jealous, would you, nurse? 492 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,699 City hospital. Happy Valentine's day. 493 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:53,578 - How are you feeling? - Lousy. My laryngitis is killing me. 494 00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:55,747 Couldn't find a doctor. 495 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,251 - Excuse me, miss. - Yes? 496 00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:01,086 - Is the doctor around? - No. 497 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:09,594 - Excuse me, miss, is the doctor around? - No. 498 00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:14,057 Good morning, happy Saint Patrick's day. 499 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,059 Let me see if I have this straight. 500 00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,354 You were shaving, you slipped, you cut your nose off. 501 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:22,607 Then you dropped your razor and cut your toe off. 502 00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:25,861 Doctor made a mistake, he sewed your toe onto your face... 503 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:28,029 And your nose onto your foot. 504 00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:32,742 And your complaint is that every time you sneeze, you blow your shoe off. 505 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,286 That's silly. 506 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,415 City hospital. Happy easter. 507 00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:45,922 Attention, at exactly 3:00 pm... 508 00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:49,509 All hospital electricity will be turned off for five minutes. 509 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:52,637 At 2:59 pm. All patients in oxygen tents... 510 00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:55,390 - Should take a deep breath and hold it. - Where's Dr. Rist? 511 00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,851 - Thank you. - He's right over there. 512 00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:07,152 Hello, doctor. 513 00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:09,362 - No, don't get up. - Angela. 514 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:11,656 It's all right, I'll find a place. 515 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,325 Excuse me, sir. 516 00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,660 Could you move over there, give me a chance? 517 00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,871 The light's better over there. 518 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:20,165 Could you hold this for a second? 519 00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:23,335 All right, that's it. Over here. 520 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:26,505 Thank you. You're very cute. 521 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:30,383 - Thank you very much. - This is for my father. 522 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:31,468 I knew that. 523 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,470 - Please sit. - No, after you. 524 00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,722 No, please. Sit down, will you? 525 00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:42,145 It's good to see you, Angela. 526 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,564 How's my pop? 527 00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:46,441 - The same. - The same? 528 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:51,154 Hello, Stephanie. How's everything? 529 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,699 Your attention please. 530 00:33:54,783 --> 00:33:57,202 Et, phone home. 531 00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:03,375 I don't get a chance to be alone too much because I have a large family. 532 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:07,879 I like cooking, cooking is nice. And I read a book once. 533 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,633 I like to go to the ballgame. What about you? 534 00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:15,887 Well, I guess... 535 00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:19,724 I'm basically into sharing. 536 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,313 Sunsets on wintry beaches, cats... 537 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:28,775 And relating over a fine bottle of wine. 538 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:32,028 What about you, Angela? 539 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:37,033 My father didn't take me out a lot. 540 00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,744 There was the track, and there was Vegas. 541 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:43,582 But like a fucking museum or a fucking concert, like fucking forget it. 542 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,753 - I like music. - Music? Yeah? 543 00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:52,215 I thought I heard a song in your heart. 544 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,885 No, what I meant was... 545 00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,056 I thought that you were musically inclined. 546 00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:03,560 Did you ever sing, or play any instrument? 547 00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:05,228 Fucking guitar. 548 00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,814 Is that a special kind of guitar? 549 00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:13,069 - No, it's regular. - All righty. 550 00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,447 I studied when I was a kid... 551 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,949 But I broke it on my brother's head and went to work. 552 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,869 Do you ever feel sad... 553 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:24,080 That you were denied some of those things? 554 00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:26,249 No, you know... 555 00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:30,170 You grow up fucking insensitive. 556 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,048 Yeah. 557 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,482 Okay, turn. 558 00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:55,445 Jump. 559 00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:58,740 Stephanie. 560 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:02,285 You can turn that off a minute. I'll be right back in just one minute. 561 00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:06,998 Stephanie, I'm not always that quick on the uptake as regards... 562 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:10,877 It seems to me like, in the last couple of months... 563 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,339 Your attitude towards me has undergone something of a change. 564 00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:16,925 You noticed? 565 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,177 It's called the cold shoulder, Simon. 566 00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:22,222 And it's exactly what the doctor prescribed, doctor. 567 00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:23,723 I don't follow you. 568 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:28,978 "A romance now would be ludicrous, and counterproductive to our studies." 569 00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:32,941 I guess that might have sounded a little stuffy, stephie. 570 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:36,111 - Slightly, Simon. - Look. 571 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:40,782 Do you think a couple of tickets to the ballet might help? 572 00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:42,617 You bought those tickets? 573 00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:44,703 No, they were given to me by a patient. 574 00:36:44,786 --> 00:36:47,497 Close enough. You were a rotten first date. 575 00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:51,042 But I'm willing to give it another try. 576 00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:53,002 How are you on the second date? 577 00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,505 I don't know. I've never had one. 578 00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:59,300 - Cut out the mushy stuff. - Let's dance. 579 00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:03,638 Okay. 580 00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,563 Clap. 581 00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:14,649 Jump. 582 00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:31,875 - Stephanie. - This is a dumb dance. 583 00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:34,461 - What is it? - I think it's supposed to be punk. 584 00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:36,755 I'm fine. It's okay. 585 00:37:38,298 --> 00:37:40,383 I just get dizzy sometimes, that's all. 586 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,843 Let's go jump in the lake. 587 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,762 Yeah, let's go swimming. 588 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,054 Thank you, orphans. 589 00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:48,892 These dizzy spells are not normal. I'd like to do some tests on you. 590 00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,310 I'm sure it's nothing. 591 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:54,522 Come on. 592 00:37:54,981 --> 00:37:57,484 When you were a kid, did you play "spit in the lake"? 593 00:37:57,567 --> 00:38:00,487 No. Why would anyone play that? 594 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,574 The idea is to see who can spit the farthest. I used to be the champ. 595 00:38:05,575 --> 00:38:08,244 - You play games? - Yeah, I play games. 596 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,246 I bet I could beat you. 597 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:14,292 No. It's the only game my father would let me play, I'm very good at it. 598 00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:17,545 We'll see. You go first. 599 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:19,506 Okay. 600 00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:28,723 Forget it. You can't win. 601 00:38:28,765 --> 00:38:30,642 Awfully cocky. 602 00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:42,070 Simon, I want that back. Give me my spit back. 603 00:38:42,111 --> 00:38:43,780 No. Sorry. 604 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:47,575 At least tell me what you think I have. 605 00:38:48,117 --> 00:38:50,745 No. Because I could be wrong. 606 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,956 Simon, you're never wrong. 607 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,666 That's true. 608 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,753 Do you think you could just hold me? 609 00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:08,972 Good morning. Medication time. 610 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:12,600 Attention. Dr. Prang has refused to meet with our strike committee. 611 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,395 So we urge nurses not to work very hard. 612 00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:20,316 Take this spit. 613 00:39:21,484 --> 00:39:22,652 Whose is it? 614 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,863 I don't know. Baryshnikov. 615 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:31,995 No, this is Stephanie Brody's spit here on the ballet ticket, I see... 616 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,038 That Dr. August keeps on bugging us about. 617 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,081 Who's that? 618 00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:38,418 That brilliant young intern, who figured out with the two fingers. 619 00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:40,628 - That smart ass, yeah. - That's right. 620 00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:44,382 I see here he wants a nederlander's, a trilateral myopia. 621 00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,718 He wants a lastfogel's process. 622 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,097 Wait a minute. You know about that lastfogel test? 623 00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:52,307 Sure. 624 00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:55,059 I haven't seen anything about it in the national enquirer. 625 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,228 No, it was in people magazine. 626 00:39:58,396 --> 00:39:59,981 With the trilateral myopia... 627 00:40:00,023 --> 00:40:03,067 And the nederlander's, you can only be pretty sure. 628 00:40:03,151 --> 00:40:07,196 But with this lastfogel's test, you are 100% sure. 629 00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,831 Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. 630 00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:22,378 Dr. Prang's office. Miss pendergast speaking. 631 00:40:22,712 --> 00:40:25,381 No, I do not want to talk to the nurses. 632 00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:27,133 No, they'll never strike. 633 00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:30,219 They're dedicated people, for god's sake. Yes? 634 00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,221 Sarah. 635 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:36,893 Sarah, you've got to understand, I am supervising 20 interns. 636 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:41,522 I am running the surgery department of one of the largest hospitals in the country... 637 00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,650 And I'm sitting on 12 medical committees. 638 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:47,779 Now, I don't have time to talk to you or your divorce attorney. Is that clear? 639 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,781 Good! Hello? 640 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,492 Oscar? What did e.F. Hutton say? 641 00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:56,955 What do you mean, another $200,000, Oscar? 642 00:40:57,246 --> 00:40:59,248 Where is it coming from, Oscar? 643 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:01,626 Where is it coming from, man? 644 00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:06,839 I was told you wanted to see me, doctor. 645 00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:09,467 Dr. August, come in. 646 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,179 You didn't want to use the telephone, did you? 647 00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:15,098 - No. - Good. 648 00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:20,144 I've been hearing a great deal about you from your fellow interns. 649 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:23,106 Evidently they think you're quite an asshole. 650 00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,441 - I like that. - Thank you, sir. 651 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:30,905 Doctor, I've decided to let you take out an appendix, a gallbladder, whatever. 652 00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:34,701 Something wrong? 653 00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:36,577 No. Nothing. 654 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:40,832 The whole idea is to see whether you have what it takes to do your residency with me. 655 00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:44,544 I'm very anxious to see how you cut. 656 00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:49,173 Pendergast. Excuse me. 657 00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:56,681 Hello? Yeah. Milton, it's for you. 658 00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:02,478 You guys hear the scuttlebutt? Prang is gonna let Simon cut. 659 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,234 Why is he chewing on a ball? 660 00:42:08,317 --> 00:42:10,236 He broke up with Julie. 661 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:14,699 You know, relationships can be hard. 662 00:42:15,491 --> 00:42:17,660 - Take Angela for instance... - She's a hooker. 663 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:18,745 She is? 664 00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:20,705 Julie, she's a hooker. 665 00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:25,209 Her voice is changing all the time. 666 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:30,006 My mom and dad, they went to church every Sunday. 667 00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:32,717 Her father murdered her mother. 668 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,802 - Murdered? - He's in prison. 669 00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:39,474 I like her. She's a good kid. She brings me presents. 670 00:42:39,515 --> 00:42:42,101 She wants to give up hooking but... 671 00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:45,855 I don't know. I'm a doctor. 672 00:42:46,939 --> 00:42:50,735 I can't hang around with hookers. Do you ever have any relationships? 673 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,529 Relationships? Yeah, I've had a few. 674 00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:56,824 But then again, too few to mention. 675 00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:00,036 I don't know. 676 00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:06,959 I saw that. 677 00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:08,836 So what? Are you a cop? 678 00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:12,381 I'm a stranger. Don't look at me. 679 00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,677 - Can you get some more of those? - More of what? 680 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,347 Pills, man. Reds, whites, whatever. 681 00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:22,975 Might mean a little extra scratch for you. 682 00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:24,852 Pay off a loan or two. 683 00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:26,479 How do you know about that? 684 00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:28,314 All interns have loans. 685 00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:32,610 Meet me here same time next week with the goods, all right? 686 00:43:32,735 --> 00:43:35,988 I'll be in disguise, but you'll know me by the password: 687 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,573 - Vanilla. - Manila. 688 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,659 - No, vanilla. - Vanilla. 689 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:43,454 Can I look at you now? 690 00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,020 You look beautiful. 691 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,898 You really look nice. 692 00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:31,377 Seven months, I've been in this stinking hospital, sal. 693 00:44:32,128 --> 00:44:35,173 The gallentino family's losing money. 694 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:41,179 Do you realize the hell I've been going through since I've been here? 695 00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:45,266 They've made me drink chalk. 696 00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:49,854 They stuck a tube up my ass. 697 00:44:49,937 --> 00:44:51,731 They took x-rays. 698 00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:55,693 They got this little camera on a wire. 699 00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:59,155 They stuffed it up my wang. 700 00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:02,825 I've had a lot of things done to the old wang... 701 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:05,203 But rota-rooter ain't one of them. 702 00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:07,538 Should I try it? 703 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:14,837 Ladies and gentlemen, we have here a 46-year-old male... 704 00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:16,714 With an inflamed appendix. 705 00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:19,967 It will be removed by a 27-year-old male. 706 00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:21,886 With an inflamed ego. 707 00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,513 Do you really think that's funny? 708 00:45:24,597 --> 00:45:26,224 Dr. August. 709 00:45:29,018 --> 00:45:30,019 Well? 710 00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,271 Well, what? 711 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,357 Start slicing. 712 00:45:40,529 --> 00:45:41,572 Yes. 713 00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:03,177 Doctor, if you plan to remove the appendix, you will have to break the skin. 714 00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:15,564 Simon's really starting to look like a doctor. 715 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:18,442 Lyle, he should be playing football. 716 00:46:18,901 --> 00:46:20,361 Don't be silly, June. 717 00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:23,114 He'll save his hands for surgery, just like I did. 718 00:46:23,155 --> 00:46:26,075 Doctor, it's time for your birthday party. 719 00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:28,953 We lose the room in an hour, doctor. 720 00:46:28,995 --> 00:46:32,248 - You're a great surgeon, dad. - You're a great surgeon, too, my boy. 721 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,958 Simon's going to be a great surgeon. 722 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:36,585 Simon, show all your doctor friends how you operate. 723 00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,297 - Cut out the pinata's appendix. - Yes, father. 724 00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:41,299 Show grandpa how you cut. 725 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,554 Cut him. 726 00:46:46,595 --> 00:46:48,014 Cut, Simon. 727 00:46:54,770 --> 00:46:57,231 No, I can't. 728 00:46:59,275 --> 00:47:00,651 I'm sorry. 729 00:47:01,193 --> 00:47:03,821 This is the world's greatest surgeon? 730 00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:10,870 Some people call it rookie-it is. 731 00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:13,956 Some people call it intern nerves. 732 00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,668 Me? I call it chickenshit. 733 00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:23,341 We will all remember spot moscowitz... 734 00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:26,385 Because when he was alive, he remembered all of us. 735 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:30,890 A devoted father, beloved husband, and could catch a frisbee in his mouth. 736 00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,410 Do you come here often? 737 00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:52,703 Yes. 738 00:47:53,329 --> 00:47:55,956 Yes, I come here to see our mistakes. 739 00:47:56,374 --> 00:48:00,544 It inspires me to think that I could have saved some of these lives. 740 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:04,548 They made fun of me, Stephanie. They laughed at me in the operating room. 741 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,592 They said I was no good. 742 00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:09,553 Simon, there are other careers in medicine... 743 00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:12,181 That don't require surgical technique: 744 00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:16,477 Radiology, cardiology, dermatology, endocrinology. 745 00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:18,437 I have to be a surgeon! 746 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:24,276 I know that I can overcome this fear of mine. 747 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,570 It's going to take some time. 748 00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:31,242 Will you help me, Stephanie? 749 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:38,749 - Where are you taking me? - Don't ask. 750 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:53,889 There's no other place to go, Simon. 751 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,641 Look, I just... 752 00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:58,310 I just don't think I'm... 753 00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,981 I think I have a problem in this room. 754 00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:05,818 I just don't think that I'm gonna be able to... 755 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:09,071 That I'm going to be able to function. 756 00:49:09,363 --> 00:49:11,699 There's only one cure for that. 757 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,034 Me. 758 00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,746 I'm as scared as you are. 759 00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:22,918 I'm even more scared than you are. 760 00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:30,134 I've never even been in this room with my regular clothes on before. 761 00:49:49,195 --> 00:49:50,529 What is it? 762 00:49:51,030 --> 00:49:53,699 Heimlich maneuver. Come on, relax. 763 00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,744 Take it easy. One, two, three. 764 00:49:58,787 --> 00:50:00,206 You got it? 765 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,085 Please, be careful what you swallow. 766 00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:08,130 I'll sew it on for you tomorrow. 767 00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,073 Put that phone down. 768 00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,659 You're always on the phone. Who are you talking to? 769 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:39,453 - I'm tired of hiding. - I'm tired of you. 770 00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:42,540 - Angelo. - What? 771 00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:44,959 You're spending a lot of time at the hospital. 772 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,711 My father's in there. I'm sacrificing myself. 773 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:51,006 Suppose I get killed looking like that. It could ruin my reputation. 774 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:53,217 That Dr. Rist called again. 775 00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:55,427 - When? - This afternoon. 776 00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:59,557 - What did he sound like? - He sounded like a doctor. 777 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,600 He's a very good doctor. 778 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,687 - Angelo. - What? 779 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:08,274 Are you getting funny? 780 00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:15,114 I'll give you funny. Come over here. 781 00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:20,202 Where'd you put my purse? 782 00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:27,793 I'm glad I dragged you in here. 783 00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:32,047 I guess I can function in this room. 784 00:51:34,174 --> 00:51:36,468 I was never worried about that. 785 00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:40,848 I was worried about the tests. 786 00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:44,059 But now, no matter what happens with the tests... 787 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,687 I will have had sex with you. 788 00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,982 You call that sex? 789 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,655 Now let's try it again, and stop chatting so much. 790 00:51:56,739 --> 00:51:59,575 - Dr. Ludwig! - How long have you been there? 791 00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:03,579 Let's just say I loved it when you bit his buttons. 792 00:52:05,998 --> 00:52:08,542 Doctor, what are you doing up there? 793 00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:12,588 I've been looking all over for you two. I have the test results. 794 00:52:14,923 --> 00:52:17,760 And? Negative. Every one. 795 00:52:19,595 --> 00:52:21,972 You did the lastfogel's process and everything? 796 00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:24,808 I did everything, even the lastfogel. 797 00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:27,853 Thank you, doctor. 798 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,324 Was there anything else? 799 00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:43,744 No, go right ahead. I'll just stay here and observe. 800 00:52:44,411 --> 00:52:46,038 Beat it, doctor. 801 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:51,460 No, I didn't mean that. I mean, leave. 802 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,469 Will you stay with me, Stephanie? 803 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:03,138 I can't stay in Beverly Hills, Simon. 804 00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:06,517 They're waiting for me in Burnaby mountain. 805 00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:20,489 But you didn't do the lastfogel's test. 806 00:53:22,866 --> 00:53:25,160 Good morning, happy labor day. 807 00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:28,288 No pulse. 808 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,374 We lost him. 809 00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:32,751 He's alive. 810 00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:37,798 I've got to get this watch fixed. Welcome back. 811 00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:41,009 Good morning, happy Halloween. 812 00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:44,722 Mrs. Bauer, I don't like the way your husband looks. 813 00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:48,267 I don't either, but he's good to the children. 814 00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,352 Good afternoon. Happy Thanksgiving. 815 00:53:51,019 --> 00:53:53,063 I looked in your mouth... 816 00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:55,816 Checked your breasts... 817 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:58,402 Probed every part of your body. 818 00:53:59,027 --> 00:54:00,863 Well, what's wrong with me? 819 00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:03,157 How should I know? I'm a lawyer. 820 00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:06,160 Merry Christmas. City hospital. 821 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:14,168 You need a dime? 822 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:17,921 Here, I got it. Put it right in there. 823 00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:19,757 Thank you very much. 824 00:54:19,798 --> 00:54:21,383 You know, I was wondering... 825 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,219 There's this big party tonight at Dr. Prang's home. 826 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:25,846 A lot of broads? 827 00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:30,559 There'll be a lot of, you know, other women there to chat with. 828 00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:32,603 I love fucking chatting. 829 00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:34,229 - You do? - Yeah. 830 00:54:34,938 --> 00:54:36,774 Come on, pick up the fucking phone. 831 00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:39,943 I thought maybe you'd want to go. 832 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:42,613 - Yeah, sure. - You would? 833 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:44,740 - It's not much of a notice. - That's all right. 834 00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,909 Pick up the fucking phone. 835 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,245 Hello, Rocco, this is Angie. 836 00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:52,873 Pop's fine. He's gonna have a peaceful Christmas. 837 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:56,794 That's good. 838 00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:08,514 Seven operations, sal. 839 00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,809 Forty-two stitches. 840 00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,853 A year in this crummy hospital. 841 00:55:15,437 --> 00:55:19,066 This Mr. Callahan was a sick man. 842 00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:31,245 O key-d 0 key. 843 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,502 Have a nice trip, sal. 844 00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:59,273 It must be difficult for Dr. Prang after his divorce. 845 00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:01,316 I hear he throws a wild party, though. 846 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,944 I want it to be a nice, cozy party. 847 00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:08,323 You know, the kind with chestnuts roasting on an open fire. 848 00:56:08,407 --> 00:56:10,409 Hi, welcome to Dr. Prang's party. 849 00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:12,327 - Hello. - How do you do? 850 00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:14,746 You should have that dark mole removed. 851 00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:17,165 - You mean this one here? - The light ones can stay... 852 00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:19,334 - Simon. - Do you get keloids? 853 00:56:20,669 --> 00:56:23,672 - Where's Dr. Prang? - He's in his room, resting. 854 00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,720 Doctor. 855 00:56:35,183 --> 00:56:37,978 - I knew it. - What? 856 00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:41,732 - I'm fucking overdressed. - No you're not. You look beautiful. 857 00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:46,069 Now you can say anything you want. 858 00:56:53,785 --> 00:56:56,455 I want to grease down... 859 00:56:57,331 --> 00:57:01,752 And slide all over your body like a snake. 860 00:57:02,294 --> 00:57:03,795 I'd like that. 861 00:57:07,007 --> 00:57:10,093 "Drink to me only with thine eyes." 862 00:57:14,389 --> 00:57:17,184 Relax, take off your key. 863 00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:21,521 Look, the margaritas are ready. 864 00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:25,567 You're a doctor, aren't you? You must make a lot of money. 865 00:57:25,817 --> 00:57:27,945 No, actually I'm an intern. 866 00:57:28,236 --> 00:57:29,488 Goodbye. 867 00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:32,157 Excuse me, are you rich? 868 00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:36,119 If we don't get our checks by the end of the week, we're going on strike. 869 00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,622 - Would you like to... - I'd love to. 870 00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:40,666 Let me ask you a question. 871 00:57:40,749 --> 00:57:43,502 If you could go to any show, in any theater, anywhere... 872 00:57:43,585 --> 00:57:45,587 What show would you pick? 873 00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:47,756 Ice capades. 874 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,593 - Ice capades? - Ice capades. I like the ice capades. 875 00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,971 You know, I think ice capades are in Cleveland. 876 00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:55,430 Yeah, or holiday on ice. 877 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:59,059 Holiday on ice? I can definitely get a couple of tickets. 878 00:57:59,601 --> 00:58:02,771 - Did you see those tits over there? - I'm sorry. 879 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:05,857 Don't be sorry. Santa claus' helper over there without a shirt? 880 00:58:05,941 --> 00:58:08,402 - Are you embarrassed by that? - Embarrassed? No. 881 00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:09,820 - Dr. Prang always... - Fuck prang. 882 00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:12,739 - Did you see those tits over there? - Try not to notice them. 883 00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:15,534 - Let's talk about holiday on ice. - Fuck holiday on ice. 884 00:58:15,617 --> 00:58:17,035 A bunch of fags skating. 885 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,080 Did you see those tits on that lady there? Gorgeous. 886 00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:22,749 - Can I get in here? - I don't think so. 887 00:58:26,336 --> 00:58:28,380 - Hi, bucky. - Julie! 888 00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:32,551 What are you doing here? You're not working the party are you? 889 00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:34,678 - Of course not. - Then what? 890 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:37,014 I have a surprise for you. 891 00:58:38,724 --> 00:58:40,976 I'm really pregnant this time. 892 00:58:43,311 --> 00:58:46,606 I want to be sexual with you, do you hear me? 893 00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:48,066 I hear you, Phil. 894 00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:50,485 I want to be physical with you. 895 00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:56,700 I want to make the beast with two backs with you. 896 00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:00,829 Don't get Kinney, Phil. 897 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:02,581 Kinky. 898 00:59:02,998 --> 00:59:05,709 Kinney is where america shops for shoes. 899 00:59:08,837 --> 00:59:11,048 The latest from wall street. 900 00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,051 Blue chips showed an upward trend on the New York exchange... 901 00:59:14,092 --> 00:59:16,595 With the prime lending rate rocketing to 25%... 902 00:59:16,678 --> 00:59:18,680 With little improvement shown. 903 00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:20,182 Dr. Prang? 904 00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:23,060 I'm jyll omato, from the gift shop. 905 00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:25,937 I'm your Christmas present from the staff. 906 00:59:26,521 --> 00:59:28,690 Speculators who were heavily leveraged... 907 00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:32,527 Were particularly affected as brokers called in their margins. 908 00:59:32,611 --> 00:59:34,321 Consumer confidence fell... 909 00:59:34,362 --> 00:59:35,614 Not now. 910 00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:39,743 Industrials are down 30 points, chemicals leveled off at 16... 911 00:59:39,785 --> 00:59:43,413 While rails faded toward the close to a low of 43. 912 00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:50,545 Okay, now. 913 00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:53,757 Simon. 914 00:59:56,301 --> 00:59:58,136 You're out here all alone. 915 00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:01,932 Sure. Before you came along, I was always alone, Stephanie. 916 01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:05,268 I believe in you, Simon. 917 01:00:06,228 --> 01:00:08,772 I've made a very important decision. 918 01:00:09,981 --> 01:00:12,776 Simon, I'm ready to give up Burnaby mountain... 919 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:16,488 If it means I can be with the man I love in Beverly Hills. 920 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:21,326 You love a man in Beverly Hills? 921 01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:25,956 Simon, think. 922 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:28,583 Concentrate. 923 01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:14,337 Everyone, quiet please. I have an announcement I'd like to make. 924 01:01:19,843 --> 01:01:22,846 Stephanie Brody and I are going to be married. 925 01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:28,185 Congratulations, Stephanie. 926 01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:35,108 Let me call you sweetheart 927 01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:36,526 thank you. 928 01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:41,573 I'm in love with you 929 01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:43,825 move out of the way. Thank you. 930 01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:47,746 Let me hear you whisper 931 01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:53,210 that you love me, too 932 01:01:56,671 --> 01:02:01,384 keep the love-light glowing 933 01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:06,556 in your eyes so true 934 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:14,689 let me call you sweetheart 935 01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:19,361 I'm in love 936 01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:24,032 with you 937 01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:27,702 - excuse me, I'm a doctor. - Excuse me, I'm a doctor. 938 01:02:27,786 --> 01:02:29,955 Actually, I'm a lab technician. 939 01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:32,707 - Excuse me, I'm a doctor. - It's all right, we're doctors. 940 01:02:32,749 --> 01:02:34,501 Someone call an ambulance! 941 01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:39,881 It's all right, we're doctors. 942 01:02:39,965 --> 01:02:42,550 Goddamn you. Why didn't you do the lastfogel? 943 01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:46,596 I don't need a battery of tests to tell me if a patient has saxafragia mitosis. 944 01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,723 I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. 945 01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:50,850 Why did you tell us the tests were negative? 946 01:02:50,892 --> 01:02:53,937 What did you want me to do? Say she's a goner? 947 01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:57,732 Sorry, doc. I wanted you kids to have a nice Christmas. 948 01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:00,443 She's not a goner. It's been cured by surgery before. 949 01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:03,613 Once! Once out of 6,000 cases. 950 01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:05,699 It's the most complex surgery there is. 951 01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:09,119 There's only one doctor in the world that's ever done it successfully. 952 01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,788 I'll go find that doctor and make him do it for her. 953 01:03:11,871 --> 01:03:14,916 You won't have to go far. He's right here in this hospital. 954 01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,585 - Who? - Dr. Prang, as a matter of fact. 955 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:20,755 - He can perform an operation. - What operation? 956 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,133 It's a paraglobular underpass... 957 01:03:23,174 --> 01:03:26,469 With a subarachnoid angulation of the sphenoid wing. 958 01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:28,888 Will he do it? 959 01:03:28,930 --> 01:03:30,765 I spoke to him briefly this evening. 960 01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:34,978 He said he'd get back to me as soon as he got the girl off his face. 961 01:03:35,020 --> 01:03:38,106 - Fine. - I'll check in later, okay? 962 01:03:40,066 --> 01:03:41,693 Merry Christmas. 963 01:03:43,695 --> 01:03:45,322 Who was the girl? 964 01:03:45,864 --> 01:03:48,366 - Jyll omato. - Omato. 965 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,369 You say omato, I say omato. 966 01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:59,085 I want a lover with a slow hand 967 01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:01,796 want a lover with an easy touch 968 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:09,429 your daughter Angela is a very lovely girl. 969 01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,681 And she cares about you a lot. 970 01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:14,392 I've got an idea. Why don't I get these flowers... 971 01:04:14,476 --> 01:04:18,730 You give them to Angela and let her know how much you care about her? 972 01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:25,111 - Mrs. Greschler? - What? 973 01:04:25,153 --> 01:04:27,155 Could I please have some carnations? 974 01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,449 - You want carnations? - Please. 975 01:04:29,491 --> 01:04:32,452 - I've got lovely mums. - You don't want any mums, do you? 976 01:04:32,494 --> 01:04:34,496 - You don't want any mums? - No. Carnations. 977 01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:37,499 - You don't want mums? - No, I think carnations. 978 01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:40,293 Nobody wants my lousy mums. Got to be carnations. 979 01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:42,003 The ones down at the end are fine. 980 01:04:42,045 --> 01:04:44,506 I've got some right down here. I'll get them for you. 981 01:04:44,547 --> 01:04:47,717 - Thank you, Mrs. Greschler. - Just a minute. These are lovely, too. 982 01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:50,553 Not as lovely as mums, but they're good. 983 01:04:50,595 --> 01:04:53,681 - Thank you, Mrs. Greschler. Bye-bye. - Thank you. 984 01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:56,476 Rist, have you heard anything about your residency? 985 01:04:56,518 --> 01:04:57,727 Not yet, litto. 986 01:04:57,769 --> 01:05:00,730 I guess you could say I'm the kind of guy who's tuned in. 987 01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,316 Tuned in to holistic psychiatry. 988 01:05:09,697 --> 01:05:11,074 No smoking. 989 01:05:12,784 --> 01:05:14,786 All right, Mr. Callahan. 990 01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:17,455 It's time for our bodily function. 991 01:05:17,539 --> 01:05:19,040 Mrs. Greschler. 992 01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:25,130 - I'd like to buy some chrysanthemums. - I've got some mums. 993 01:06:03,626 --> 01:06:04,919 Attention please. 994 01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:08,840 Anyone who has had contact with the gift shop candy-striper jyll omato... 995 01:06:08,923 --> 01:06:11,259 Please report to the VD clinic. 996 01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:19,350 Let me tell you about this operation, kid. 997 01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:21,728 It's a maze, do you understand? 998 01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:24,022 You have to shut off three arteries. 999 01:06:24,063 --> 01:06:26,191 You have to regulate four enzyme flows. 1000 01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:29,777 You have to replace two fluids and a blood supply, twice. 1001 01:06:29,861 --> 01:06:31,821 One teeny weeny little mistake... 1002 01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:35,700 And you might as well piss on the fire and call the dogs 'cause it's all over. 1003 01:06:35,783 --> 01:06:38,453 - I will be there to assist you, doctor. - You? 1004 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,164 I wouldn't let you take a splinter out of a rat's ass. 1005 01:06:41,247 --> 01:06:44,667 - Look, you've done the operation before. - Yes. But no more. 1006 01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:46,836 This one is not meant to be. 1007 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:51,382 Dr. Prang, I've appealed to you as a physician, and as a man. 1008 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:55,053 There's only one other way to put this to you. 1009 01:06:55,136 --> 01:06:57,639 Will you operate on Stephanie Brody? 1010 01:06:59,432 --> 01:07:02,685 Okay. We'll need an anesthesiologist. 1011 01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:05,730 We'll need an endocrine person. We'll get all the best people. 1012 01:07:05,813 --> 01:07:08,233 We'll work with them till they can do it blind-folded. 1013 01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:10,193 We'll have fun with it. 1014 01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:12,570 Emilia, press the button. 1015 01:07:12,654 --> 01:07:13,738 Okay. 1016 01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:20,161 Now she's in somebody else's bed. 1017 01:07:41,349 --> 01:07:43,351 I really appreciate this, Dr. Prang. 1018 01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:46,062 Okay. Just don't hit me anymore. Who's that on the end? 1019 01:07:46,145 --> 01:07:47,730 That's Dr. Quick, doctor. 1020 01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,858 Doppenheimer's out of town. He recommended quick himself. 1021 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:53,653 Never mind. All right. Everybody ready? 1022 01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:55,738 Scalpel. 1023 01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:59,742 - Ready with the dialysis retractor? - On. Counting now, Dr. Prang. 1024 01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,829 - Give it to me in fives. X-ray? - Fifty. 1025 01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:04,122 Blood count? 1026 01:08:05,665 --> 01:08:08,918 Fifteen on twelve. 1027 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:12,630 - Heart? - Normal. 1028 01:08:12,714 --> 01:08:14,424 - X-ray? - Twenty-five. 1029 01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:16,050 - Moving. No shadow. - Twenty. 1030 01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,094 - Renostomy count, quickly. - 25 over 20. 1031 01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:19,220 Fifteen. 1032 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,472 - Platinum wire. - Platinum wire. 1033 01:08:23,725 --> 01:08:26,185 Seventeen, damn it! 1034 01:08:26,227 --> 01:08:27,937 Seventeen, damn it! 1035 01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:29,439 - Time? - Ten seconds. 1036 01:08:29,480 --> 01:08:30,940 - Five. - Nope. We're in trouble. 1037 01:08:31,024 --> 01:08:32,775 - Nine seconds. - We're losing her. 1038 01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:35,320 - Eight seconds. - I've reopened the scarpoid valve. 1039 01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:37,322 - Seven seconds. - Oxygen. 1040 01:08:37,905 --> 01:08:40,658 Oxygen. 1041 01:08:40,742 --> 01:08:42,744 - Counting down. - Four seconds. 1042 01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,080 Two seconds. 1043 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,708 - Gattling frappe, quickly. - One second. 1044 01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:50,293 - Zero, doctor. - That's it. 1045 01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:51,919 No, never mind! 1046 01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:54,714 We've lost her. 1047 01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,424 We killed her. 1048 01:08:58,593 --> 01:09:01,512 We'll have to do better than that, won't we? 1049 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,223 All right, let's try it again. 1050 01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:07,185 Only this time, let's practice on him. You son of a... 1051 01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:13,024 Dr. Prang, you just had a very urgent call from your accountant. 1052 01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,401 Oscar? What did he say? 1053 01:09:15,443 --> 01:09:17,278 He said you're broke. 1054 01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:19,072 Broke? 1055 01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:22,492 Attention. Tomorrow Dr. Prang will perform... 1056 01:09:22,533 --> 01:09:26,454 A saxafragia mitosis operation on our very own Stephanie Brody. 1057 01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:29,791 Tickets are still available. The public is invited. 1058 01:09:33,044 --> 01:09:34,504 Don't worry, Emilia. 1059 01:09:34,545 --> 01:09:37,632 We'll fix this bed outside, so you won't hit the ceiling. 1060 01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:39,217 Ice cream. 1061 01:09:42,970 --> 01:09:45,848 Vanilla ice cream. We have established that. 1062 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:48,476 Did I hear you say you wanted some vanilla ice cream? 1063 01:09:48,518 --> 01:09:50,478 Vanilla ice cream, yeah. 1064 01:09:51,437 --> 01:09:54,816 When last we met, I quoted you $20 on these. 1065 01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:55,983 You've got it. 1066 01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:58,152 As we speak, people grow badly addicted to them. 1067 01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:01,280 I'm gonna have to ask you for $40 and I'll throw in water pills. 1068 01:10:01,322 --> 01:10:03,533 - I'd rather have the bag. - Fine, you can... 1069 01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:08,162 I'm a doctor! I worked hard for this. 1070 01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:12,250 This is typical. 1071 01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:20,425 We'll get your buddy. 1072 01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:22,593 Don't worry. 1073 01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:23,845 Phil? 1074 01:10:24,846 --> 01:10:26,514 Can I talk to her? 1075 01:10:26,556 --> 01:10:28,057 For a minute. 1076 01:10:32,812 --> 01:10:34,397 Freeze! 1077 01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,446 Let's go. It's going to be a car chase. 1078 01:10:41,779 --> 01:10:43,740 Door's locked. No chase. 1079 01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:49,495 Freeze! 1080 01:10:50,246 --> 01:10:52,290 Am I pointing this at you? 1081 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,376 Good job, blind officer. 1082 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,712 - Did we get them? - We got them. 1083 01:10:58,087 --> 01:10:59,922 Hi. What's your name? 1084 01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:03,509 I'm sorry, Phil, but it just had to be this way. 1085 01:11:03,551 --> 01:11:04,969 I guess so. 1086 01:11:05,052 --> 01:11:07,597 Listen, when you tell people about this... 1087 01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:09,974 And I want you to tell a lot of people... 1088 01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:11,768 Use me as a warning. 1089 01:11:11,851 --> 01:11:14,645 You worked so hard to be a doctor. 1090 01:11:15,438 --> 01:11:16,981 Do me a favor. 1091 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,401 Tell medicine that I'm no good for it. 1092 01:11:22,403 --> 01:11:24,071 Did you like me? 1093 01:11:35,374 --> 01:11:36,584 Yes. 1094 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:44,050 - Why did you do it, anwvay? - Reaganomics. 1095 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:49,305 Attention, all nurses report to the picket line outside. 1096 01:11:49,388 --> 01:11:51,516 We 're going on strike, baby. 1097 01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:53,351 Hi. 1098 01:11:54,685 --> 01:11:56,354 Nurses unite! 1099 01:12:01,442 --> 01:12:04,362 - Out of our way, doctor. - Wait a minute. Where are you going? 1100 01:12:04,403 --> 01:12:06,614 Out! As of this minute, the nurses are on strike. 1101 01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,324 You can't walk out now. 1102 01:12:08,407 --> 01:12:12,078 Stephanie is due in surgery. If we don't operate, she might not make it. 1103 01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:15,540 - Talk to Dr. Prang. - He hasn't paid us in two months. 1104 01:12:16,582 --> 01:12:18,501 You're taking this very well, Stephanie. 1105 01:12:18,668 --> 01:12:20,086 Hello, excuse me. 1106 01:12:20,127 --> 01:12:23,089 You were just visiting someone at this hospital, weren't you? 1107 01:12:23,130 --> 01:12:24,215 That's right. 1108 01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:27,009 - May I ask you a question? - Sure, go right ahead. 1109 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,929 What do you think of this nurses' strike? 1110 01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:33,766 I got nothing to do with this at all. 1111 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:37,019 Hey, asshole, get off the car! 1112 01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:39,105 You hear? 1113 01:12:39,146 --> 01:12:40,523 Listen, excuse me. 1114 01:12:40,606 --> 01:12:43,734 I don't give a fuck about this, but there's an asshole on my car. 1115 01:12:43,818 --> 01:12:45,778 - Thank you very much. - Come here! 1116 01:12:45,820 --> 01:12:50,199 Get off the fucking car. Fucking pleasure. I'm gonna rip your nose off. 1117 01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:52,702 They're not coming, are they? 1118 01:12:52,743 --> 01:12:55,663 We're just running a bit late, that's all. They'll be here. 1119 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:59,250 We've got to help Simon. He's stuck up there without any nurses. 1120 01:12:59,333 --> 01:13:03,462 Remember, this is why we want to be doctors in the first place. Okay? 1121 01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:06,173 Rist, your patient sal's going home. 1122 01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:10,928 Okay, the three of you should help. I'll meet you there. 1123 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:16,267 Dr. Prang, you're wanted in surgery. 1124 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,729 Sal, it's finally time to go home. 1125 01:13:19,812 --> 01:13:22,815 Hospital policy, you have to take your last ride in a wheelchair. 1126 01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:25,151 Hey, ragazzo, I don't need no chair. 1127 01:13:25,192 --> 01:13:27,737 - Okay, we'll change the policy. - Change the policy. 1128 01:13:27,820 --> 01:13:30,072 - This is for you. - For me? 1129 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,660 It's from your daughter. 1130 01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:37,997 My dear Walter. 1131 01:13:38,039 --> 01:13:40,625 It would be foolish of me to deny... 1132 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:45,004 That you have aroused in me certain feelings that I thought I never had. 1133 01:13:45,546 --> 01:13:49,800 Your sensitivity, kindness, and care have moved me deeply. 1134 01:13:50,509 --> 01:13:52,970 But for various fucking reasons... 1135 01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:56,057 Ours is a relationship that cannot be. 1136 01:13:56,349 --> 01:14:00,144 If there's ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. 1137 01:14:00,227 --> 01:14:02,897 Thank you for everything. Angie. 1138 01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,900 Rocco, make sure the car's ready, all right? 1139 01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:12,740 - You weren't supposed to be here. - Get me out of here! 1140 01:14:13,866 --> 01:14:16,702 Fill out this affidavit. It's a malpractice affidavit. 1141 01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:18,913 - English? - Yeah, in English. 1142 01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:31,676 This isn't gonna work... 1143 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:34,762 Because there's things about me that you just don't know. 1144 01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:37,807 What? We've always been honest with each other. 1145 01:14:37,848 --> 01:14:40,434 If it's the fact that you curse all the time, I can... 1146 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,896 I can control that. I don't give a fuck about that. Listen to me. 1147 01:14:43,938 --> 01:14:46,273 Here, feel that. Go on, feel that. 1148 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:47,984 - It's pretty. - Not that! 1149 01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:50,569 When you look at me, what do you see? 1150 01:14:50,861 --> 01:14:53,114 I see a beautiful human being. 1151 01:14:56,367 --> 01:14:57,827 I'm married. 1152 01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:00,162 Married? 1153 01:15:08,421 --> 01:15:13,175 Please, don't hate me, Walter. I couldn't stand it. 1154 01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:23,269 Are you happily married? 1155 01:15:35,448 --> 01:15:38,701 Dr. Prang, Dr. August is waiting. 1156 01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:43,289 Oscar, what do you mean, indictment? 1157 01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,583 They made me turn over the hospital records. 1158 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:47,084 So what? I'm clean. 1159 01:15:47,168 --> 01:15:49,795 Guess again, Joseph. You know the $400,000 loss? 1160 01:15:49,837 --> 01:15:53,007 That was recorded as surgery you never performed. 1161 01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:55,384 Why, you slimy little wimp wart. 1162 01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:59,180 I had to do it, Joseph. You needed money for the condos. 1163 01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:02,516 Why don't you just cash in the pension plan, reimburse medicare? 1164 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:04,643 You don't have a pension plan anymore. 1165 01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:07,938 I had to cash that in to cover your losses in the silver market. 1166 01:16:08,022 --> 01:16:10,733 Silver? I was never into silver. 1167 01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:14,612 Yes, you were. It was supposed to be a surprise for your anniversary. 1168 01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:18,032 And then Sarah zapped you, and the bottom fell out of the market. 1169 01:16:18,074 --> 01:16:19,909 That's why they call it risk capital. 1170 01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:22,411 Joseph, it'll be all right. What the heck? 1171 01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:26,248 You're a brilliant surgeon. We'll declare bankruptcy. We'll sell the... 1172 01:16:26,290 --> 01:16:28,626 Joseph, don't do it to yourself. 1173 01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:32,046 Myself? 1174 01:16:34,965 --> 01:16:36,467 Joey, no! 1175 01:16:36,550 --> 01:16:38,594 Oscar, you're through as my accountant. 1176 01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:41,388 Don't, Joey! God, Joey, you hurt my hand. 1177 01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:44,934 You hurt my... Joseph, please! No! Don't do it! 1178 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:49,939 Five minutes before the operation. We 're letting the audience in. 1179 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:53,109 Meet your volunteer scrub nurses. 1180 01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:54,944 Chamberlain. 1181 01:16:55,402 --> 01:16:58,781 Litto. My friend flicker. 1182 01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:02,284 Stephanie, look... she's... 1183 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:04,537 Where's Dr. Prang? 1184 01:17:04,578 --> 01:17:07,456 Well, don't worry. He's probably just going over his notes. 1185 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:14,338 Get out of the way, you sick bastard. 1186 01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:17,967 Welcome to city hospital. 1187 01:17:18,008 --> 01:17:20,261 Everyone, remain in your assigned seats. 1188 01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,930 No standing, and no flash photography. 1189 01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:24,348 Attention. 1190 01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:28,519 No one will be seated during the last 10 minutes of the operation. 1191 01:17:31,230 --> 01:17:33,983 Attention, Dr. Prang. Report to surgery. 1192 01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:39,405 Think of what you're doing. This isn't rational. Joseph! 1193 01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:42,074 I'm calling the police. 1194 01:17:46,328 --> 01:17:51,000 Due to the nurses' strike, we're being staffed today by new volunteers. 1195 01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:54,461 Would those among you who have had first-aid training... 1196 01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,673 Come to the desk and get some band-aids that I've laid out there? 1197 01:17:57,756 --> 01:18:01,635 The rest of you will just take a number, and we'll get to you as soon as possible. 1198 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:05,431 - Call the police! - Sir, you'll have to take a number. 1199 01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,349 He's got a gun! 1200 01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:12,438 Dr. Prang, this is Dr. August. Report to surgery. 1201 01:18:24,074 --> 01:18:25,075 Hi. 1202 01:18:29,079 --> 01:18:30,289 Sorry. 1203 01:18:34,501 --> 01:18:37,796 Don't worry. He's just some crazy honky with a gun. 1204 01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:41,217 Be honest with me. What are my chances? 1205 01:18:43,010 --> 01:18:44,303 That bad? 1206 01:18:48,390 --> 01:18:50,726 Prang, you're wanted in surgery! 1207 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,521 You'd better scrub up. Come on. 1208 01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:58,317 - No, I'm going to wait for Dr. Prang. - Don't wait for prang. 1209 01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,236 - Pardon? - Don't wait for prang. 1210 01:19:00,277 --> 01:19:01,320 Why? 1211 01:19:01,362 --> 01:19:03,864 We got a problem. Dr. Prang is very upset. 1212 01:19:03,948 --> 01:19:06,075 Upset? Let me tell you something, Simon. 1213 01:19:06,116 --> 01:19:08,619 I don't think the man is in the mood for surgery. 1214 01:19:08,702 --> 01:19:10,913 - Kurtzman, please. - I'm sorry. 1215 01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:14,416 What about the other doctors? What about Stevens? What about byner? 1216 01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:18,170 They won't come if prang isn't there. They say it's completely useless. 1217 01:19:18,212 --> 01:19:21,423 - Go ahead, tell him. - What I'm trying to say is... 1218 01:19:21,465 --> 01:19:24,009 That you're gonna have to do the operation, son. 1219 01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:27,972 Don't worry about a thing. I'm sure you're well aware of my reputation. 1220 01:19:28,055 --> 01:19:31,517 And I'm gonna be right there with you every step of the way. 1221 01:19:31,558 --> 01:19:32,768 And me. 1222 01:19:33,686 --> 01:19:35,437 Don't worry, there'll be no pressure. 1223 01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:39,817 It'll just be like any other operation that you've never done before. 1224 01:19:39,900 --> 01:19:42,361 - Kurtzman, could I talk with you a minute? - Sure. 1225 01:19:53,747 --> 01:19:56,125 They told me what's going on. 1226 01:19:58,168 --> 01:20:01,505 You have to do it, Simon. You have to substitute for prang. 1227 01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:05,217 We need an anesthesiologist. We need an endocrine man. Nurses. 1228 01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:07,136 Listen, we can do all those things. 1229 01:20:07,177 --> 01:20:10,306 Not to mention a small matter of a couple of competent surgeons. 1230 01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:12,182 Simon, you can do it. 1231 01:20:13,434 --> 01:20:16,854 You can. Listen, you watched prang rehearse it, right? 1232 01:20:17,229 --> 01:20:19,189 And besides, you got all of us. 1233 01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:22,901 Litto is a great anesthesiologist. He can knock anybody out. 1234 01:20:22,943 --> 01:20:26,113 And Milton knows the stomach inside out. 1235 01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:28,198 He'll come in handy. 1236 01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,117 Then we got Ludwig. 1237 01:20:31,076 --> 01:20:34,079 Ludwig has opened up more people than anybody. 1238 01:20:34,788 --> 01:20:37,833 Of course, you know, they were all dead. 1239 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:41,754 So, you see, you can do it. 1240 01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,422 We can do it. 1241 01:20:44,381 --> 01:20:45,924 For Stephanie. 1242 01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:50,637 Or, you know, we could go home and eat. 1243 01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:53,390 Nice chatting with you again. 1244 01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,271 Do you believe in me? 1245 01:21:00,647 --> 01:21:02,983 You're kind of a pecker-head... 1246 01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:07,654 But I believe in those. 1247 01:21:08,072 --> 01:21:09,740 Your attention, please. 1248 01:21:09,823 --> 01:21:13,160 Dr. Prang will not be performing the surgery today. 1249 01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:14,828 He went meshuga. 1250 01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:19,208 Let's go to work, doctors. 1251 01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:34,765 Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a change in the program. 1252 01:21:39,436 --> 01:21:44,149 The saxafragia mitosis operation will be performed by Dr. Simon August. 1253 01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:50,114 - Let's go. - No. Are you crazy? 1254 01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:52,825 This is a saxafragia mitosis operation. 1255 01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:05,129 All right, doctors. 1256 01:22:05,212 --> 01:22:08,590 We've got 20 minutes to find that saxafragioid nerve and reduce it. 1257 01:22:08,632 --> 01:22:11,135 - And she's off. - Yeah! 1258 01:22:12,219 --> 01:22:14,430 Then we're ready, gentlemen. 1259 01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:17,015 Scalpel. 1260 01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:26,108 Simon, show all your doctor friends how you cut. 1261 01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:28,235 You're a great surgeon, dad. 1262 01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,612 And you're a great surgeon, too, my boy. 1263 01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:33,490 Simon's gonna be a great surgeon, too, dad. 1264 01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:35,659 Do you hear voices? 1265 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:45,627 I guess I can function in this room. 1266 01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:52,634 Well, you did it. A perfect cut. 1267 01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:55,512 Blind shithouse luck. But you did it. 1268 01:22:57,347 --> 01:22:58,515 Head? 1269 01:23:02,936 --> 01:23:04,146 Normal. 1270 01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,608 - What's this? - I don't know. 1271 01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:09,735 - Then take it back. - Sorry. 1272 01:23:10,194 --> 01:23:12,988 - How's my time? - T-minus 33 and counting. 1273 01:23:13,071 --> 01:23:14,573 Hang on, Stephanie. 1274 01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:15,782 Easy. 1275 01:23:15,824 --> 01:23:16,867 Damn! 1276 01:23:16,950 --> 01:23:18,452 - What's the matter? - What's wrong? 1277 01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:20,954 The obstruction. I can't reach it. 1278 01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:23,332 My damn hands are just too big. 1279 01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:27,085 If only one of the nurses were here. Their hands are small. 1280 01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:29,755 They can reach into tiny... 1281 01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:32,549 - Chamberlain. - Thurman, help me. 1282 01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:36,637 Substitution. Dr. Chamberlain in for Dr. August. 1283 01:23:37,513 --> 01:23:40,557 Do you see it? Right there. That's it. 1284 01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:46,188 Dr. Ludwig, I'm nearing the saxafragioid nerve. 1285 01:23:48,106 --> 01:23:49,983 - Heart? - Normal. 1286 01:23:50,651 --> 01:23:51,985 Sprockett. 1287 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:57,699 This strike ain't for me. I'm a nurse, and I go where I'm needed. 1288 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,203 It looks like I'm needed here. 1289 01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:04,540 - I admire your dedication. - It ain't all dedication. 1290 01:24:04,581 --> 01:24:07,501 My little brother Elmer, he was an air traffic controller. 1291 01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:10,712 - Really? - Yeah, he was incredible. 1292 01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,882 We're trying to save a life here, remember? 1293 01:24:15,509 --> 01:24:16,802 Suction. 1294 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,392 Get it off. 1295 01:24:29,273 --> 01:24:31,316 Suction, doctor, please. 1296 01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:34,778 Forget the suction. Thank you very much. 1297 01:24:34,861 --> 01:24:37,197 - Blood pressure? - It's dropping. 1298 01:24:37,239 --> 01:24:38,574 Sixty, fifty, here we go. 1299 01:24:38,615 --> 01:24:42,327 You got to stop now. If her erzemine level drops to 20, we're gonna lose her. 1300 01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:44,871 - Will you shut up, kurtzman? - Quiet! 1301 01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:46,707 Careful. 1302 01:24:47,124 --> 01:24:49,251 Taffler's serum. Five cc's. 1303 01:24:49,459 --> 01:24:52,462 Erzemine 30. Injecting taffler's. 1304 01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:54,965 I see it. Hold her steady. 1305 01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:58,385 - Renostomy level dropping. - Give me a count. 1306 01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:01,221 - 40 over 13. - Respiration weak. 1307 01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:02,723 - Heart? - Irregular. 1308 01:25:02,764 --> 01:25:03,932 I don't like it. 1309 01:25:03,974 --> 01:25:06,685 You don't have to like it. Just do as you're told. 1310 01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:09,354 - We can't stop now. - It's all right. He's an asshole. 1311 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:11,732 - Blood pressure falling. - Almost there. 1312 01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,609 - Twenty-five. - Got it. 1313 01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:16,945 Please hurry, doctor. Don't taste it. 1314 01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:20,324 We've got five minutes to reduce it and put it back. 1315 01:25:22,075 --> 01:25:23,535 Now we wait. 1316 01:25:26,830 --> 01:25:30,250 How about those Lakers the other night? Did you see what they did... 1317 01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:33,503 - Come on. - I'm trying to focus here. 1318 01:25:37,215 --> 01:25:38,508 Foundifl 1319 01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:40,969 reduced two millimeters. 1320 01:25:45,349 --> 01:25:47,934 - All right, reopen the scarpoid valve. - It won't open. 1321 01:25:47,976 --> 01:25:49,853 Cut it! I need that scarpoid fluid. 1322 01:25:49,936 --> 01:25:52,272 - Scissors. - I've lost the renostomy level. 1323 01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:53,607 It's in. 1324 01:25:53,649 --> 01:25:55,400 - My end's attached. - Mine, too. 1325 01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:56,735 - Ditto. - Okay. 1326 01:25:56,777 --> 01:25:58,820 I've lost the heartbeat. 1327 01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:02,449 The body's rejecting it. 1328 01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:04,451 - Adrenalin! - She's not responding. 1329 01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:07,537 Pickering fluid, 5000's. Noserin 20 cc's. 1330 01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:10,040 - Oxygen. - Oxygen. 1331 01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,213 I'm afraid she's sliding into home plate, Simon. 1332 01:26:16,296 --> 01:26:19,007 Noserin. Gattling frappé. 1333 01:26:23,553 --> 01:26:25,722 Come on, Stephanie, hold on. 1334 01:26:37,150 --> 01:26:38,610 Sorry, Simon. 1335 01:26:46,284 --> 01:26:48,036 It's just an operation. 1336 01:27:07,889 --> 01:27:09,975 All right, let's close her up. 1337 01:27:10,016 --> 01:27:11,685 - Suture. - Suture. 1338 01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:14,354 - Wait a minute, her eyes are open. - What? 1339 01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:17,399 - She's looking around the room. - Look, she's breathing! 1340 01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:18,984 Look, she's smiling. 1341 01:27:19,025 --> 01:27:21,361 Somebody kicked the plug out of the wall. 1342 01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,196 Who pulled the plug? 1343 01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:33,373 The machines are working. 1344 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:36,752 - I've got a heartbeat. - I've got an oxygen level. 1345 01:27:36,793 --> 01:27:38,962 - I've got a live patient. - Oxygen. 1346 01:27:39,045 --> 01:27:41,715 - Are we going to save her? - Yes! 1347 01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:45,594 Yes, the strike is over. Nurses report back on duty. 1348 01:27:45,635 --> 01:27:49,723 We've just received temporary funding from the chubb insurance group. 1349 01:27:49,765 --> 01:27:51,892 Doctors, over here, please. 1350 01:27:51,933 --> 01:27:53,977 Welcome, new interns, to city hospital. 1351 01:27:54,060 --> 01:27:56,855 - Happy new year! - Doctor, you're on duty. 1352 01:27:57,606 --> 01:27:59,107 Meet me after. 1353 01:28:02,569 --> 01:28:04,529 - Stephanie? - Who? 1354 01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:11,244 Would you please all make yourselves known to Dr. Jacobs because... 1355 01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:18,251 No, not now. 1356 01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:23,799 Simon! We've got to find Simon to tell him... 1357 01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,552 Before he marries some bimbo on the rebound. Where'd he go? 1358 01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:30,347 Listen, I really admire your work. 1359 01:28:31,473 --> 01:28:33,183 And your eyebrows. 1360 01:28:33,433 --> 01:28:36,269 You're staying here at city hospital, aren't you? 1361 01:28:36,311 --> 01:28:38,480 Yes, I am, nurse sprockett. 1362 01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:43,443 - Norine. - Walter. 1363 01:28:48,949 --> 01:28:50,283 Simon! 1364 01:28:50,367 --> 01:28:53,662 Take her to the smart ass. She wants to talk to him. 1365 01:29:00,293 --> 01:29:04,172 Keep the love-light glowing 1366 01:29:04,422 --> 01:29:09,469 in your eyes so true 1367 01:29:11,388 --> 01:29:12,973 over here, schmuck. 1368 01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:17,894 Let me call you sweetheart 1369 01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:22,357 I'm in love 1370 01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:26,903 with you 1371 01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,033 - you did it, boy! - I can't believe it. 1372 01:29:33,285 --> 01:29:35,203 Hi! 1373 01:29:36,413 --> 01:29:37,831 I love you. 1374 01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:41,418 You are the greatest surgeon in the world. 1375 01:29:44,254 --> 01:29:46,882 I think they want to be alone. 1376 01:29:48,800 --> 01:29:51,219 Thank you. Thank you all so... 1377 01:29:53,179 --> 01:29:54,806 Stephanie, wait! 1378 01:29:58,935 --> 01:30:00,478 What did I say? 1379 01:30:34,471 --> 01:30:35,597 Now. 1380 01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,729 Simon and Stephanie opened... 1381 01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:45,607 The Beverly Hills clinic in Burnaby mountain. 1382 01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:48,401 Stephanie had an operating room built in their house... 1383 01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:51,112 So now Simon has a place to function. 1384 01:30:55,241 --> 01:30:59,245 Dr. Milton Chamberlain is head pediatrician at Disneyland. 1385 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:11,800 Dr. Bucky de vol married Julie the prostitute... 1386 01:31:11,841 --> 01:31:14,678 And named their first son after Simon August. 1387 01:31:14,761 --> 01:31:17,097 They called the kid pecker-head. 1388 01:31:27,983 --> 01:31:32,445 Dr. Oliver Ludwig moved to Hawaii and became a professional wine taster. 1389 01:31:39,452 --> 01:31:41,496 Nurse norine sprockett... 1390 01:31:41,579 --> 01:31:45,583 Was given the Mother Teresa award as the best nurse in the city. 1391 01:31:49,212 --> 01:31:51,715 Phil burns was paroled and is now... 1392 01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:55,176 The head pharmacist for the national football league. 1393 01:31:56,678 --> 01:32:00,390 Dr. Walter rist is trying to date both nurse sprockett... 1394 01:32:00,473 --> 01:32:02,851 And tennis player Rene'e Richards. 1395 01:32:11,609 --> 01:32:14,362 Dr. Prang retired from medicine and is currently... 1396 01:32:14,404 --> 01:32:17,032 The road manager for the plasmatics. 1397 01:32:34,299 --> 01:32:36,676 Malamud was retired by the syndicate... 1398 01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:39,929 And given a gold watch, which exploded in his face. 1399 01:32:41,848 --> 01:32:44,726 Angelo bonafetti is now a professional musician... 1400 01:32:44,768 --> 01:32:48,063 Playing with the Philadelphia fucking philharmonic. 1401 01:32:54,986 --> 01:32:59,908 Ladies and gentlemen, our entire staff wishes you a happy and healthy life... 1402 01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:03,870 And hopes you never ever have to stay in city hospital.