1 00:01:40,095 --> 00:01:41,719 I don't believe it. 2 00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:43,261 I just don't! 3 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,927 I don't know how else to say it. 4 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,677 I don't believe it. 5 00:01:48,137 --> 00:01:50,552 I don't believe it. I just don't believe it! 6 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,219 I don't believe it. 7 00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:55,594 Words fail me. I don't believe it. 8 00:01:56,387 --> 00:01:58,344 - I don't believe it. - Oh, come on! 9 00:01:58,637 --> 00:02:00,719 Words fail me. I'm devastated. 10 00:02:01,012 --> 00:02:03,261 No, worse than that: I'm crushed. 11 00:02:03,553 --> 00:02:04,719 Now, excuse me. 12 00:02:05,553 --> 00:02:06,594 I need to eat. 13 00:02:10,553 --> 00:02:11,761 Oh, come on! 14 00:02:12,053 --> 00:02:13,427 You know what? 15 00:02:13,845 --> 00:02:17,052 It's ruined my appetite. I'm not hungry. I'm disgusted. 16 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,344 Thanks! 17 00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:20,719 Oh, come on. 18 00:02:23,095 --> 00:02:24,969 You must've expected it. 19 00:02:25,803 --> 00:02:26,719 No, I didn't. 20 00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:30,136 I know they say it happens to all men at least once. 21 00:02:30,387 --> 00:02:34,052 I didn't think it'd happen to me at my age. Not like this! 22 00:02:34,345 --> 00:02:37,386 Couldn't you wait till the weekend to tell me? 23 00:02:37,595 --> 00:02:40,094 No, I felt like telling you tonight. 24 00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:41,594 Oh, did you? 25 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:42,594 Yes. 26 00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:44,969 Madam felt like it! 27 00:02:45,262 --> 00:02:47,469 You're lucky to do things you feel like. 28 00:02:47,762 --> 00:02:50,636 Take me... I feel like eating lobster. 29 00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:53,427 That's what I'd like. But what is there? 30 00:02:53,762 --> 00:02:56,677 Oh, look! Corn with butter, for a change! 31 00:02:57,303 --> 00:03:00,094 What a treat! I'm gonna enjoy this! 32 00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:03,302 Corn is yellow. That's for cuckolds. Is it a hint? 33 00:03:03,595 --> 00:03:04,594 No! 34 00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:09,052 I thought you'd like it. I didn't know yellow was for cuckolds! 35 00:03:09,553 --> 00:03:12,177 You thought I'd like it? OK, let's do this. 36 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:16,511 Where did you meet that cretin? 37 00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:17,719 Stop it! 38 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:20,636 You know the walls are paper-thin! 39 00:03:20,887 --> 00:03:22,552 Let me think... 40 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,844 With his ugly face, I bet he's a banker! You met him at the bank! 41 00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:30,511 Serge, please keep your voice down. 42 00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:34,344 Sorry, but this is my home. I can say what I want! 43 00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:38,427 Why has he been in the bathroom for ages? It's not normal! 44 00:03:38,428 --> 00:03:40,677 Oh, be nice. He's sick! 45 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:41,844 Nice?! 46 00:03:42,553 --> 00:03:44,927 Nice to the guy who's stealing my wife? 47 00:03:45,178 --> 00:03:46,177 Yes, be nice. 48 00:03:46,428 --> 00:03:50,261 He picked up a terrible superbug on safari in Kenya. 49 00:03:50,262 --> 00:03:53,427 His insides are a total mess. It's no fun! 50 00:03:55,012 --> 00:03:57,427 Jeez, Madeleine! Let me sum it up. 51 00:03:57,845 --> 00:04:01,677 It's hard to hear you're cheating on me on a Tuesday night. 52 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:03,094 So be it. 53 00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:07,594 But on top of that, it's with a guy who has gut trouble! 54 00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:11,261 Do you want me to kill myself? 55 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:15,136 What next? Will you tell me you're pregnant? 56 00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:16,719 You don't understand, 57 00:04:16,928 --> 00:04:19,469 you don't listen to me. That's the problem. 58 00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,636 It's purely platonic. 59 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,552 - Sure it is! - Of course! 60 00:04:24,803 --> 00:04:28,802 That goes right over your head. Well, it exists, you know. 61 00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:30,511 Yeah, in your dumb novels. 62 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:34,219 Look, I knew it was a bad idea for you to read. 63 00:04:34,303 --> 00:04:38,011 It's a bad influence on you. "Platonic"... Bullshit! 64 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,844 Fred warned me: 65 00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:41,594 "Watch out, buddy." 66 00:04:41,887 --> 00:04:45,261 "If she reads romance novels, you're in for trouble." 67 00:04:45,262 --> 00:04:46,219 He was right. 68 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,302 I don't just read novels. 69 00:04:48,595 --> 00:04:51,302 I subscribed to that science magazine. 70 00:04:54,887 --> 00:04:56,927 Well, about time! 71 00:04:57,220 --> 00:05:00,802 I hope he cleaned up. I don't want to catch his superbug. 72 00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:02,094 Stop it! 73 00:05:06,178 --> 00:05:08,011 Sorry it took so long. 74 00:05:08,303 --> 00:05:10,219 We took the opportunity to talk. 75 00:05:10,512 --> 00:05:12,177 Don't worry about us. 76 00:05:12,595 --> 00:05:15,886 We had a lot to say. We don't split up every night! 77 00:05:16,637 --> 00:05:19,136 By the way, do you want a bite to eat? 78 00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:21,094 We didn't ask. So rude. 79 00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:22,886 I don't know... 80 00:05:23,428 --> 00:05:24,844 Yes, why not? 81 00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:28,261 No, I don't think so. Let's go, darling. 82 00:05:28,553 --> 00:05:30,677 What's the rush? We have time, no? 83 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:33,261 Let me spend time with my replacement. 84 00:05:33,553 --> 00:05:36,136 It's now or never, isn't it? Go ahead. 85 00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:38,594 Open the fridge and help yourself. 86 00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:41,511 No, Bruno, get your jacket. We're going. 87 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,469 Well, he seems nice. Let's stay for 5 minutes. 88 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,219 He is. That's not the problem. 89 00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,677 Are you afraid we'll become friends? 90 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,344 No, I don't want him to open the fridge. 91 00:05:54,637 --> 00:05:56,761 Well, I'd like him to. 92 00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:59,844 I want to spend time with my replacement. 93 00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:01,677 So, help yourself. 94 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,886 Sit down. We guys will chat. 95 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:08,219 I'll tell you a few things about your new chick. 96 00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:10,969 You'll see, she's full of surprises. 97 00:06:11,262 --> 00:06:12,427 Very amusing! 98 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,927 So, do I open the fridge or not? 99 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:17,011 Open it! I'd like that. 100 00:06:17,303 --> 00:06:19,261 Bruno, if you do, I warn you... 101 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:20,136 What? 102 00:06:20,428 --> 00:06:22,927 Show her you're a man. Open it! 103 00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,969 I'm warning you... 104 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,302 - Open it! - Don't open it. 105 00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,177 Pardon me. 106 00:06:32,428 --> 00:06:35,011 Sorry to interrupt. I know it's not right. 107 00:06:35,303 --> 00:06:38,011 I'll be quick so I don't disturb you too much. 108 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,927 First of all, good evening. 109 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,552 I'm Yannick. 110 00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:45,344 I'm speaking up. 111 00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:49,427 Don't get offended, but I don't find this entertaining. 112 00:06:51,053 --> 00:06:53,469 Sorry to be so blunt. 113 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:56,177 It can't be nice to hear, 114 00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:59,011 but I paid for something entertaining 115 00:06:59,303 --> 00:07:01,136 and I'm supposed to feel good. 116 00:07:01,428 --> 00:07:03,802 It feels like quite the opposite. 117 00:07:04,095 --> 00:07:07,552 You're adding to my problems, not making me forget mine. 118 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:10,011 So, that ain't right, right? 119 00:07:10,803 --> 00:07:12,636 There's a problem. 120 00:07:12,928 --> 00:07:14,094 Nonsense! 121 00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:18,594 I don't think you fully realize, but that's not the done thing. 122 00:07:18,887 --> 00:07:20,802 I know. I apologize once again. 123 00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:25,052 It's just that I got organized to come here tonight. 124 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:28,177 I'm a night watchman, I work 7 days a week. 125 00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,261 I had to take a day off work. 126 00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:33,594 You probably don't realize, but it's complicated. 127 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,094 I can't do it often. 128 00:07:35,387 --> 00:07:37,177 I need to ask my boss 129 00:07:37,470 --> 00:07:39,844 and get a colleague to replace me. 130 00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:42,802 So, if I take a day off work 131 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,719 to be entertained, I wanna be entertained. 132 00:07:46,012 --> 00:07:48,427 Otherwise, it's a catastrophe. 133 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:52,677 I'm not saying it's deliberate. I know you're just the actors. 134 00:07:53,512 --> 00:07:56,802 It's not your fault. I expect someone is responsible. 135 00:07:57,303 --> 00:07:58,594 A director, right? 136 00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:01,344 Yes, he's the playwright, too. 137 00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:05,302 I should talk to him. That would be wiser. 138 00:08:05,595 --> 00:08:09,094 Can you get him out here so I can explain my problem? 139 00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:11,386 Look, let's make it even easier. 140 00:08:11,678 --> 00:08:14,344 I'll give you his number, you can go call him 141 00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:17,511 and tell him, so we can get back to work, OK? 142 00:08:17,803 --> 00:08:19,969 You're joking! Isn't he here? 143 00:08:21,137 --> 00:08:21,886 No. 144 00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:23,511 The guy in charge 145 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,511 isn't here to check you do good work. 146 00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:27,927 What? 147 00:08:28,637 --> 00:08:29,511 Wait... 148 00:08:29,803 --> 00:08:30,844 Hold on... 149 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:35,052 It's normal it goes wrong if the captain isn't here. 150 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:36,636 What the hell is this? 151 00:08:36,928 --> 00:08:39,302 No, you're making it all go wrong. 152 00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:42,511 Yeah, we'll do this play at least 60 times, 153 00:08:42,803 --> 00:08:45,844 so the director can't be here every night. 154 00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:50,261 So, this is a madhouse! What is this dive? 155 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:53,177 What if a restaurant chef didn't show up? 156 00:08:54,512 --> 00:08:55,719 How crass! 157 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,261 It's not the same. 158 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,052 It is. Customers pay for a service. 159 00:09:01,345 --> 00:09:05,219 If it isn't satisfactory, you need to complain to the boss. 160 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,219 If I order some meat in a restaurant 161 00:09:08,512 --> 00:09:10,469 and I find hair on my plate, 162 00:09:10,762 --> 00:09:12,302 what do I do if I'm told 163 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,844 the cook isn't there? 164 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,719 We understand your restaurant metaphor, 165 00:09:17,012 --> 00:09:18,344 but we're different. 166 00:09:18,637 --> 00:09:20,552 This is a stage. It's art, OK? 167 00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,636 - Art?! - It's not a piece of meat, OK? 168 00:09:24,553 --> 00:09:26,886 That's a good 'un. Art! 169 00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:32,886 I didn't pay for that! Think I'm the culture secretary? 170 00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,677 I want a nice change. 171 00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:37,677 That's a different ballgame. 172 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,302 What's art anyway? I won't start arguing... 173 00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:43,802 We're all artists, aren't we? 174 00:09:44,095 --> 00:09:47,344 I could draw a banana and 3 apricots on a kitchen table 175 00:09:47,637 --> 00:09:49,636 if I had the time. 176 00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:53,594 Let's stop this because you're being a pain. 177 00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:57,927 You can't ruin everyone's night with a monologue. 178 00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:01,636 If you don't like the play, you can leave. 179 00:10:01,928 --> 00:10:03,969 You can get a refund. 180 00:10:04,262 --> 00:10:06,636 - Just go - Yeah! 181 00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:08,844 That's too easy. 182 00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:13,344 I took a day off work to come here. The money is one thing, 183 00:10:13,637 --> 00:10:16,094 but my whole evening has been ruined. 184 00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:19,261 You can't pay for that. Don't you see? 185 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:22,969 Time is a precious thing. I don't have 50 days' vacation. 186 00:10:23,262 --> 00:10:28,094 I can't waste a day on this disaster, 187 00:10:28,387 --> 00:10:30,177 especially if it gets me down. 188 00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,177 - OK, enough! - What? 189 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:34,927 OK, we get it, you're not happy. 190 00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,677 Don't bug everyone. You're a pain. 191 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,719 How long did it take you to get here? 192 00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:43,094 - What's it to you? - Listen... 193 00:10:43,387 --> 00:10:47,302 It took me 45 minutes on the train from Melun, 194 00:10:47,595 --> 00:10:50,094 plus a 15-minute walk, OK? 195 00:10:50,387 --> 00:10:52,844 Do the math, it's a long commute! 196 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:56,177 Then, I have to go back. So, double it. 197 00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:57,969 That's your problem, pal. 198 00:10:58,262 --> 00:10:59,969 Sorry, no-one cares! 199 00:11:00,678 --> 00:11:02,469 I'm explaining my frustration. 200 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,344 You got your message across. 201 00:11:05,345 --> 00:11:06,761 I'm telling you... 202 00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:12,052 The problem is, I feel worse than when I came in here. 203 00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:14,677 That's why I'm speaking up. 204 00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:16,636 I have a shitty life. 205 00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:20,927 I don't feel on top form, psychologically speaking. 206 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:25,302 A show that's supposed to cheer me up 207 00:11:25,595 --> 00:11:27,302 has the opposite effect. 208 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:31,552 Sorry, but I can't take it. I just can't. 209 00:11:32,095 --> 00:11:34,927 That's subjective. Nothing we can do about it. 210 00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:36,386 Subjective? 211 00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,844 Suddenly, he's using big words! 212 00:11:42,137 --> 00:11:44,094 Subjective works both ways. 213 00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:46,927 You subjectively think the play is worthwhile. 214 00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:53,344 Let's stop. 215 00:11:53,637 --> 00:11:55,511 No, not for one guy. 216 00:11:55,803 --> 00:11:56,886 Let's carry on. 217 00:11:57,178 --> 00:11:59,552 Carry on after all that? Really? 218 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:02,844 Yes, who cares? Let's pretend it's an intermission. 219 00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:05,386 - We can't back down. - OK. 220 00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:07,886 Hold on, you don't understand. 221 00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:08,761 Enough... 222 00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:10,969 You artists will drive me crazy! 223 00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:14,344 Are you listening or am I pissing in the wind? 224 00:12:14,762 --> 00:12:17,552 You're not carrying on. You wanna torture me? 225 00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:20,927 Your crap isn't helping. Get it into your heads! 226 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,177 What do you expect us to do? 227 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:25,344 - Do something else. - Pardon? 228 00:12:25,637 --> 00:12:28,594 Do something else. Something less artistic. 229 00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:31,302 You must know other stuff. It's your job. 230 00:12:31,595 --> 00:12:33,469 Look, we're not musicians. 231 00:12:33,762 --> 00:12:35,511 We don't do requests! 232 00:12:35,803 --> 00:12:38,927 There's at least 6 months' rehearsals here. 233 00:12:39,387 --> 00:12:41,136 Who the hell is this guy? 234 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,011 Where's he from? 235 00:12:43,303 --> 00:12:44,469 Melun. I told you. 236 00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,344 You need to listen. 237 00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:49,594 I think you're from Ballbusterville. 238 00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:51,886 No, Melun, east of Paris. 239 00:12:52,178 --> 00:12:53,344 He answers back... 240 00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,511 I think it's too easy to judge. 241 00:12:56,803 --> 00:13:00,511 Even if you don't like it, you should respect their work. 242 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:03,761 No-one criticizes your work as a night watchman. 243 00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,302 No chance of that. 244 00:13:05,595 --> 00:13:07,636 I'm on my own in the parking lot. 245 00:13:08,845 --> 00:13:10,427 I do my job properly. 246 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,886 No thefts or damage in 3 years. 247 00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:15,511 The job's done properly. Guaranteed! 248 00:13:15,803 --> 00:13:18,261 As for them... I'm sorry, I'm no expert... 249 00:13:18,803 --> 00:13:21,344 If I feel bad when I watch the play, 250 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,469 then it must be shit. 251 00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,552 Get out. 252 00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:29,052 - Throw this jerk out. - What? 253 00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:30,219 - Out. - Why? 254 00:13:30,512 --> 00:13:31,636 It was amusing, 255 00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:33,636 but you've gone way too far. 256 00:13:33,928 --> 00:13:37,344 No-one cares. You're not the only person here. Now go. 257 00:13:37,637 --> 00:13:41,219 You can't stand criticism. Everyone has to like it, right? 258 00:13:41,512 --> 00:13:44,302 I can stand criticism, but not during the play. 259 00:13:44,595 --> 00:13:46,469 This sabotage is unacceptable. 260 00:13:46,762 --> 00:13:48,511 Go before I get really angry. 261 00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:50,136 What about my opinion? 262 00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:52,177 I don't give a flying fuck! 263 00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:54,136 It's no fun, but too bad. 264 00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:56,636 Now get the hell outta here! 265 00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:58,844 That's not very nice. 266 00:13:59,595 --> 00:14:00,886 I took a day off. 267 00:14:01,178 --> 00:14:04,636 A 45-minute train ride, a 15-minute walk to come here. 268 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,094 You throw me out... 269 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,636 Shut up! You'll drive us crazy! 270 00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:10,844 Beat it! Loser! 271 00:14:11,428 --> 00:14:13,344 Can I get my coat? Or get fucked? 272 00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:14,886 Your problem, pal! 273 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:20,969 Holy cow! 274 00:14:21,262 --> 00:14:22,052 You OK? 275 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,177 Well, that was a first. 276 00:14:24,887 --> 00:14:25,969 I swear! 277 00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:32,344 "A 45-minute train ride and a 15-minute walk." 278 00:14:32,637 --> 00:14:34,761 What a nightmare! Right? 279 00:14:36,303 --> 00:14:37,594 What a jerk. 280 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,552 Now where were we? 281 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,552 - There you are. - Thanks. 282 00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,469 You didn't stay long. 283 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,052 Didn't you like it? 284 00:14:59,178 --> 00:15:00,761 They're clapping? 285 00:15:01,553 --> 00:15:02,552 Yeah. 286 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:09,719 I took a day off work. I had to ask my boss. 287 00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:15,386 The show doesn't cheer me up. 288 00:15:17,928 --> 00:15:19,177 Where were we? 289 00:15:19,845 --> 00:15:21,427 - The fridge. - Right. 290 00:15:21,637 --> 00:15:23,969 Should we start over, for the energy? 291 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:26,094 - No. - Forget it. 292 00:15:26,345 --> 00:15:28,094 - I open it? - Just before. 293 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:29,427 Oh, OK. 294 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:30,761 Come on! 295 00:15:31,012 --> 00:15:34,594 It's not easy to get back into it. Please bear with us. 296 00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:36,969 OK, let's go. 297 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,261 Let's go. 298 00:15:39,095 --> 00:15:41,427 Imagine you go to a restaurant. 299 00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:45,594 You order some meat and there's a hair on the plate. 300 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:49,719 Stop it. Let's just concentrate or we won't manage. Go on. 301 00:15:50,012 --> 00:15:50,844 Oh, come on. 302 00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:52,219 Positions. 303 00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:57,927 I've thought it over. 304 00:16:00,095 --> 00:16:02,344 I don't agree with what just happened. 305 00:16:02,637 --> 00:16:04,386 He's got a gun! 306 00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:06,011 I can't digest it. 307 00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:10,552 What's my name again? 308 00:16:12,845 --> 00:16:14,386 I'm talking to you actors. 309 00:16:14,678 --> 00:16:18,552 Has one of you had the good grace to remember my name? 310 00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:23,636 No? 311 00:16:23,928 --> 00:16:26,427 Thought so. You didn't bother to listen. 312 00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:29,636 - Patrick? - No. 313 00:16:29,928 --> 00:16:32,261 Good try, but no. My name's Yannick. 314 00:16:32,553 --> 00:16:34,427 I told you at the start. Yannick! 315 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,052 In Hebrew, it means "God is gracious". 316 00:16:37,345 --> 00:16:39,219 I saw that recently on Google. 317 00:16:40,095 --> 00:16:42,177 Funny, that. "God is gracious"! 318 00:16:43,095 --> 00:16:44,552 Sir... Yannick... 319 00:16:44,845 --> 00:16:46,761 Sorry, I yelled at you, 320 00:16:47,053 --> 00:16:49,427 but I didn't mean to insult you or... 321 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,094 It's just that I had to 322 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,844 handle a tricky situation for us and for the audience. 323 00:16:56,137 --> 00:16:58,136 So, you can put your gun away. 324 00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:02,802 It's too late for that, pal. The gun's in my hand. 325 00:17:03,262 --> 00:17:04,719 You're my witnesses. 326 00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:08,261 I politely tried to open up a dialogue. 327 00:17:08,553 --> 00:17:11,844 But he preferred to get on his high horse 328 00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,886 and throw me out. So, that's it. 329 00:17:14,178 --> 00:17:15,761 Not my fault. Sit down. 330 00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:18,969 I'm not a marksman. I'm a parking attendant. 331 00:17:19,262 --> 00:17:21,427 So, I don't know how to use this. 332 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,011 It could go off at any moment. 333 00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:25,594 So... 334 00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:27,219 now you know. 335 00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:29,219 OK... 336 00:17:29,762 --> 00:17:31,469 Let's play a little game. 337 00:17:32,262 --> 00:17:36,011 Did anyone bring their computer, by any chance? 338 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:42,469 Someone must have come straight from work with their computer. 339 00:17:43,345 --> 00:17:44,761 You bureaucrats... 340 00:17:45,053 --> 00:17:46,886 Where are you hiding tonight? 341 00:17:47,637 --> 00:17:48,844 I've got a PC. 342 00:17:49,137 --> 00:17:50,177 What? 343 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,927 A PC. A laptop. 344 00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,052 - Is that a computer? - Yes. 345 00:17:54,637 --> 00:17:58,219 Why don't you say that, then? Why invent some dumb word? 346 00:18:00,428 --> 00:18:01,927 Is it charged? 347 00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,136 It should be. 348 00:18:03,428 --> 00:18:05,386 Well, bring it over here. 349 00:18:06,762 --> 00:18:09,677 I warn you, if anyone tries to call the cops 350 00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:12,886 or tries to pull a fast one, 351 00:18:13,178 --> 00:18:15,802 I won't hesitate, I'll shoot 'em at once. 352 00:18:17,845 --> 00:18:19,052 What's my name again? 353 00:18:20,887 --> 00:18:21,511 Yannick. 354 00:18:21,803 --> 00:18:23,052 Easy, see?! 355 00:18:23,345 --> 00:18:25,927 You need a gun now to get some respect. 356 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,594 What a world! 357 00:18:28,178 --> 00:18:29,302 Honestly! 358 00:18:29,595 --> 00:18:31,677 - It's booting up. - OK, get lost. 359 00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:33,594 Now then... 360 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,219 What's this shit? It wants a password. 361 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,636 You need to enter the password. 362 00:19:08,928 --> 00:19:10,052 I'm listening. 363 00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:13,594 Vaginal. 364 00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:19,136 Sorry, it was a joke with a colleague. 365 00:19:19,428 --> 00:19:21,219 I didn't expect to say it out loud. 366 00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,886 You're all degenerates in here! 367 00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:27,011 What a sick password! How do you spell it? 368 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,761 V-A... 369 00:19:29,053 --> 00:19:31,969 Take it easy! I'm not a typist! 370 00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:33,177 V... 371 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:34,344 A... 372 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,302 - V-A what? - G. 373 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:39,969 I... 374 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,594 I... Go on. 375 00:19:41,845 --> 00:19:43,302 N-A-L. 376 00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:47,136 Vaginal. Ridiculous! 377 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:49,386 Enter. 378 00:19:49,678 --> 00:19:51,136 It seems to work. 379 00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:52,969 It's slow to start. 380 00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:56,302 I told you it's my day off. I have plenty of time. 381 00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,302 Now what? 382 00:19:59,803 --> 00:20:02,261 I'm regaining control. I'll show you. 383 00:20:02,762 --> 00:20:03,677 Don't rile me. 384 00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,011 Control of what? 385 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:09,052 Brigitte Bardot, you're stressing me out! Don't stay there. 386 00:20:09,345 --> 00:20:11,177 I want nobody behind me, OK? 387 00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:13,344 Stay still. I'm cool, but... 388 00:20:13,595 --> 00:20:16,344 things could go down the tubes at any moment. 389 00:20:16,637 --> 00:20:17,552 OK? 390 00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:21,261 Right, it seems to be working. 391 00:20:22,345 --> 00:20:23,427 I don't believe it. 392 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,927 The desktop is a chick on all fours in her panties! 393 00:20:27,678 --> 00:20:29,344 You got a problem, man! 394 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:30,552 Look. 395 00:20:33,387 --> 00:20:34,469 Shit! 396 00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:36,886 Anyway, what was I gonna say? 397 00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:40,052 You got software to type text? 398 00:20:40,803 --> 00:20:44,802 There's an icon at the bottom left. Word, that's word processing. 399 00:20:45,303 --> 00:20:46,927 Click on it, it'll open. 400 00:20:47,303 --> 00:20:49,219 Bottom left. Where is it? 401 00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:53,136 I can't imagine how often you jerked off to this! 402 00:20:56,887 --> 00:20:58,302 Is the girl underage? 403 00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:00,094 No. 404 00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:01,594 Forget it. 405 00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:03,969 The very idea disgusts me. 406 00:21:04,678 --> 00:21:07,594 OK, the icon at the bottom left... I see it. 407 00:21:07,887 --> 00:21:09,261 I click... 408 00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,177 No good. 409 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,219 You have to double-click. 410 00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:16,552 It's complicated. Give me a hand, Mr. Subjective. 411 00:21:16,845 --> 00:21:19,011 You look like a computer geek. 412 00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:21,677 Open it for me. 413 00:21:22,053 --> 00:21:25,511 Easy! I'm high on adrenaline. Don't do anything funny. 414 00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:27,802 No, I won't do anything funny. 415 00:21:32,428 --> 00:21:33,511 There you are. 416 00:21:34,637 --> 00:21:36,802 Give me a white page to write on. 417 00:21:38,595 --> 00:21:40,802 So, new document... 418 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,302 There. 419 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,886 - It's ready. - I can write there? 420 00:21:47,637 --> 00:21:50,969 If you type, it'll appear on the page. It's simple. 421 00:21:51,345 --> 00:21:54,344 It's like a typewriter. You can correct things. 422 00:21:54,595 --> 00:21:58,094 Don't blind me with science. Your breath stinks. 423 00:21:58,387 --> 00:21:59,677 It's unbearable. 424 00:22:00,470 --> 00:22:01,219 Move! 425 00:22:04,803 --> 00:22:06,427 I tell you, it's gross! 426 00:22:08,137 --> 00:22:08,761 So... 427 00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:11,927 We're ready. Here goes. 428 00:22:12,137 --> 00:22:13,219 I'll explain. 429 00:22:14,178 --> 00:22:18,636 So, the great actor you see here... 430 00:22:18,928 --> 00:22:19,969 What's your name? 431 00:22:22,095 --> 00:22:23,094 Paul Rivière. 432 00:22:23,387 --> 00:22:24,261 That's it. 433 00:22:24,553 --> 00:22:29,386 So, the great actor you see before you who wasn't really on form tonight... 434 00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:33,511 He condescendingly told me I didn't know anything about art. 435 00:22:33,803 --> 00:22:35,427 You heard him. 436 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,969 He yelled at me like I'm his dog. 437 00:22:39,303 --> 00:22:41,469 That's pretty much what happened. 438 00:22:41,762 --> 00:22:43,844 Now, the way I see it, 439 00:22:44,137 --> 00:22:47,136 I'm convinced their play is shit. 440 00:22:47,928 --> 00:22:51,719 Sorry, it's a pretty radical view, but it's sincere. 441 00:22:52,012 --> 00:22:54,552 That's what caused our falling-out. 442 00:22:54,845 --> 00:22:55,677 Right? 443 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,302 - Yes. - That's about it. 444 00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:00,969 So, now I intend 445 00:23:01,428 --> 00:23:02,594 to put it right. 446 00:23:02,887 --> 00:23:06,427 Contrary to appearances, I'm a positive guy at heart. 447 00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:09,427 Even if I'm not doing too well, as I said. 448 00:23:09,887 --> 00:23:11,052 I keep my head up 449 00:23:11,345 --> 00:23:13,802 and I prefer to take the bull by the horns 450 00:23:14,095 --> 00:23:15,719 than let things get me down. 451 00:23:16,012 --> 00:23:20,886 The bull here is this crappy play that I took the liberty of interrupting. 452 00:23:21,178 --> 00:23:23,011 You get the metaphor. 453 00:23:23,553 --> 00:23:25,761 So, what'll I do now? 454 00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:27,052 It's simple. 455 00:23:27,345 --> 00:23:29,927 I'll sit here for a while with this computer 456 00:23:30,762 --> 00:23:33,552 kindly loaned to me by that pervert. 457 00:23:34,303 --> 00:23:35,886 And I'll write a new show 458 00:23:36,178 --> 00:23:40,761 which will prove to everyone that a parking attendant is also capable 459 00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:43,469 of doing something more entertaining 460 00:23:43,762 --> 00:23:47,344 than that tired old crap we had to endure just now. 461 00:23:47,887 --> 00:23:49,761 I'll write a new play 462 00:23:50,053 --> 00:23:52,844 which they'll perform as best they can. 463 00:23:53,137 --> 00:23:56,052 And it'll cheer us all up 464 00:23:56,303 --> 00:24:00,136 and we'll go home, feeling comforted 465 00:24:00,428 --> 00:24:03,719 because that's what we all came for tonight. 466 00:24:05,345 --> 00:24:07,011 So, here we go. 467 00:24:08,512 --> 00:24:11,011 Give me a cigarette. It'll help me think. 468 00:24:12,762 --> 00:24:15,261 I can see from your skin that you smoke. 469 00:24:16,178 --> 00:24:17,219 Am I right? 470 00:24:18,637 --> 00:24:21,677 - Well, my character smokes. - Yeah, right. 471 00:24:22,012 --> 00:24:23,302 I study people. 472 00:24:23,803 --> 00:24:26,761 Light it for me and stick it in my mouth. 473 00:24:28,762 --> 00:24:31,552 I'm not hitting on you. It's OK, you're safe. 474 00:24:35,845 --> 00:24:36,927 I don't bite! 475 00:24:41,095 --> 00:24:42,094 So... 476 00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:44,427 Here goes... 477 00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:53,011 Yeah, here goes. 478 00:26:40,053 --> 00:26:41,761 - Yannick... - Don't interrupt. 479 00:26:42,053 --> 00:26:43,594 I'm feeling inspired. 480 00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:46,386 Don't distract me just now. 481 00:26:54,553 --> 00:26:56,011 Do you need to pee? 482 00:26:56,637 --> 00:27:01,761 No, it's just that I see that you're writing slowly... 483 00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:05,177 Well, that's only natural because you don't know... 484 00:27:06,303 --> 00:27:07,969 the keyboard or the... 485 00:27:08,845 --> 00:27:11,344 I type very fast because... 486 00:27:11,637 --> 00:27:16,011 I'm not just an actor. I write things at home, too... 487 00:27:16,428 --> 00:27:18,094 So, I type fast. 488 00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:20,886 So, I wanted to say... If you like, 489 00:27:21,387 --> 00:27:24,719 tell me what you want to say and I'll type it for you. 490 00:27:25,345 --> 00:27:28,427 Think I'm a moron? You're trying to screw me. 491 00:27:29,345 --> 00:27:31,594 No, I don't think you... 492 00:27:31,887 --> 00:27:33,552 I'll do it fine on my own. 493 00:27:33,845 --> 00:27:35,302 I don't need anyone. 494 00:27:35,553 --> 00:27:38,094 Leave me alone. All of you. 495 00:27:38,345 --> 00:27:40,844 If anyone needs to relieve themselves, 496 00:27:41,053 --> 00:27:43,177 or whatever, it's up to you. 497 00:27:43,470 --> 00:27:46,344 Do it quietly in a corner. It's not a problem! 498 00:27:48,345 --> 00:27:49,469 End of. 499 00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:52,386 I'll carry on. 500 00:28:29,303 --> 00:28:30,302 Mr. Yannick... 501 00:28:30,595 --> 00:28:33,761 Don't keep interrupting me. What's your problem? 502 00:28:34,053 --> 00:28:37,594 I understand what you're doing. It's very courageous. 503 00:28:37,887 --> 00:28:40,052 But this just isn't realistic. 504 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:41,844 What isn't? 505 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:43,719 Let's meet up another day. 506 00:28:45,303 --> 00:28:46,469 Without the gun. 507 00:28:46,762 --> 00:28:48,761 We go to a bar and swap ideas. 508 00:28:49,178 --> 00:28:51,719 - It could be very worthwhile. - Yes. 509 00:28:52,012 --> 00:28:55,386 You can't hold people hostage. It's inhuman. 510 00:28:55,762 --> 00:28:58,927 Take it down a notch. Do you think we're friends? 511 00:28:59,470 --> 00:29:01,052 - No... - What the hell? 512 00:29:01,345 --> 00:29:03,302 It's now or never. I'm a busy man. 513 00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:05,302 First of all. 514 00:29:05,678 --> 00:29:08,427 For the hostage situation, it's the same 515 00:29:08,637 --> 00:29:10,761 when you do your vaudeville crap. 516 00:29:11,803 --> 00:29:13,636 They can't move. 517 00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:18,136 They have to keep quiet and clap and wait for the end to stand up. 518 00:29:18,387 --> 00:29:20,261 It's a hostage situation, too. 519 00:29:20,512 --> 00:29:24,177 Think about it while I work. You might come to your senses. 520 00:29:25,470 --> 00:29:27,177 Now leave me in peace. 521 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,886 What's going on? 522 00:30:18,178 --> 00:30:20,469 He has a gun, he's crazy. 523 00:30:20,928 --> 00:30:22,511 - A gun? - We're hostages. 524 00:30:22,803 --> 00:30:24,761 What? Fuck! 525 00:30:25,053 --> 00:30:26,511 What're you doing here? 526 00:30:28,928 --> 00:30:29,677 Nothing. 527 00:30:29,970 --> 00:30:32,802 I just wondered why... It's very late... 528 00:30:33,595 --> 00:30:36,927 I explained it already. You missed your chance. 529 00:30:37,220 --> 00:30:40,552 Make yourself useful, go get a printer. I'll need one. 530 00:30:43,262 --> 00:30:44,636 There must be an office. 531 00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:46,719 Yes, there is. 532 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:49,094 There must be a printer. Bring it. 533 00:30:49,553 --> 00:30:50,469 OK. 534 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,802 Be careful. If you call the cops, I'll shoot someone. 535 00:30:55,428 --> 00:30:56,469 OK. 536 00:30:56,845 --> 00:30:58,011 Bring some paper. 537 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:02,761 Sorry. 538 00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:53,844 What the hell's that? 539 00:31:54,095 --> 00:31:56,052 Couldn't you find a bigger one?! 540 00:31:56,678 --> 00:31:57,844 Sorry. 541 00:31:58,553 --> 00:31:59,719 Where do I put it? 542 00:31:59,970 --> 00:32:01,386 On the table. 543 00:32:08,095 --> 00:32:09,802 Know how to connect it? 544 00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:14,344 I think I need to find an extension cable. 545 00:32:14,595 --> 00:32:18,302 Enough technical crap. Just hook it up. 546 00:32:18,595 --> 00:32:20,386 - Sorry. - I'm concentrating. 547 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,719 So... 548 00:32:43,387 --> 00:32:46,802 Your machine's going like crazy! What speed! 549 00:32:47,970 --> 00:32:51,844 With this, Jules Verne's books would've come out in a flash! 550 00:32:53,762 --> 00:32:55,969 Progress is amazing, isn't it? 551 00:32:56,262 --> 00:32:57,136 Yeah... 552 00:32:59,678 --> 00:33:00,844 I'm boring you. 553 00:33:01,095 --> 00:33:01,719 No. 554 00:33:02,012 --> 00:33:04,552 I can see I am, kiddo. Go sit down. 555 00:33:04,762 --> 00:33:06,594 Your job's done. Thanks. 556 00:33:07,137 --> 00:33:09,844 Now come over here, you clowns. 557 00:33:11,262 --> 00:33:15,136 Don't get me wrong, I said "clowns" affectionately. 558 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:18,386 I went to the circus a lot with my parents. 559 00:33:19,137 --> 00:33:21,677 They're dead, so it brings back fond memories. 560 00:33:23,387 --> 00:33:24,302 So... 561 00:33:24,970 --> 00:33:26,677 here are your lines. 562 00:33:27,678 --> 00:33:30,511 If they're out of order, check the numbers 563 00:33:30,762 --> 00:33:32,677 and put 'em in the right order. 564 00:33:33,262 --> 00:33:35,802 Here's the cast: you're the doc. 565 00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:38,219 You: patient. You: nurse. 566 00:33:40,303 --> 00:33:41,302 No... 567 00:33:41,845 --> 00:33:46,177 Is nurse not good enough for you? You wanna be a surgeon? 568 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:47,844 No, it's just... 569 00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:52,302 The set's a kitchen. 570 00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:54,386 That doesn't matter. 571 00:33:54,678 --> 00:33:57,969 Forget it. People can imagine it's a clinic. 572 00:33:58,262 --> 00:34:00,636 You'll see, it'll be magic, don't worry. 573 00:34:00,928 --> 00:34:05,302 OK, read it through together quietly in a corner. 574 00:34:05,595 --> 00:34:08,386 Rehearse, warm up, whatever it is you do. 575 00:34:08,637 --> 00:34:12,094 When you're ready, call me. I'll give you directions. 576 00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:13,636 OK? 577 00:34:13,970 --> 00:34:16,386 Get to work. Over to you. 578 00:34:28,053 --> 00:34:29,219 Is this for real? 579 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:32,719 Unbelievable! 580 00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:34,927 - Crazy... - Jump him. 581 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:36,427 Pardon? 582 00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:39,344 Jump him and smash his face in! 583 00:34:39,637 --> 00:34:40,552 What the hell? 584 00:34:40,845 --> 00:34:42,511 No, we gotta do as he says. 585 00:34:42,803 --> 00:34:44,552 You big fuckin' sissies! 586 00:34:45,595 --> 00:34:47,011 You can take him out. 587 00:34:47,262 --> 00:34:48,927 He's got a gun. 588 00:34:49,178 --> 00:34:50,802 No, forget it. 589 00:34:51,095 --> 00:34:51,802 What...? 590 00:34:52,095 --> 00:34:53,344 Stop whispering. 591 00:34:53,595 --> 00:34:54,802 I don't like that. 592 00:34:57,178 --> 00:34:58,302 We're learning our lines. 593 00:34:58,553 --> 00:35:02,344 You don't have to do that. You're not at school. 594 00:35:02,803 --> 00:35:04,761 You can hold the fuckin' pages. 595 00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:07,511 Great. It'll make things easier. 596 00:35:08,803 --> 00:35:09,761 OK. 597 00:35:12,262 --> 00:35:14,219 Sorry for the delay. 598 00:35:14,845 --> 00:35:16,552 I hope it's not too long. 599 00:35:18,053 --> 00:35:19,844 Still having a good evening? 600 00:35:20,303 --> 00:35:21,302 Well... 601 00:35:21,887 --> 00:35:23,386 Yes, it's OK... 602 00:35:24,970 --> 00:35:26,136 You together? 603 00:35:26,428 --> 00:35:27,011 Yes. 604 00:35:27,303 --> 00:35:27,886 Yes. 605 00:35:28,178 --> 00:35:29,094 That's good. 606 00:35:29,512 --> 00:35:31,844 I used to have a woman. 607 00:35:32,637 --> 00:35:35,344 With my work, it wasn't ideal 608 00:35:35,637 --> 00:35:37,136 to see each other. 609 00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:39,386 She was a pain. 610 00:35:43,428 --> 00:35:45,136 What do you do for a living? 611 00:35:45,762 --> 00:35:47,594 We run a driving school. 612 00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:51,969 That's funny. So, what do you do? You give driving lessons? 613 00:35:52,595 --> 00:35:53,552 No, we... 614 00:35:53,845 --> 00:35:55,719 We're in charge of the firm. 615 00:35:56,012 --> 00:35:56,927 OK, I see. 616 00:35:57,387 --> 00:35:59,302 Does it make good money? 617 00:35:59,887 --> 00:36:01,136 Not bad. 618 00:36:01,637 --> 00:36:02,719 We're not rich. 619 00:36:03,012 --> 00:36:04,677 No, but we can't complain. 620 00:36:05,095 --> 00:36:06,386 You mustn't complain. 621 00:36:06,678 --> 00:36:09,344 As they say, you take what you can in life. 622 00:36:10,928 --> 00:36:12,177 Am I right? 623 00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:14,802 I agree. 624 00:36:15,428 --> 00:36:18,844 So, you spend your days together? 625 00:36:19,512 --> 00:36:21,469 - In the driving school? - Yes. 626 00:36:23,262 --> 00:36:25,844 Doesn't it get tiring, being together all day 627 00:36:26,137 --> 00:36:28,886 and then, all evening at home, too? 628 00:36:29,178 --> 00:36:31,511 No, you get used to it. 629 00:36:32,053 --> 00:36:33,719 And we're still in love. 630 00:36:34,512 --> 00:36:35,177 Yes. 631 00:36:35,470 --> 00:36:36,719 That's cute. 632 00:36:37,637 --> 00:36:38,886 What was I gonna say? 633 00:36:39,178 --> 00:36:42,969 So, you must get up to dirty stuff 634 00:36:43,262 --> 00:36:45,177 in the back office? 635 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:47,052 When it's quiet. 636 00:36:48,762 --> 00:36:49,427 No... 637 00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:51,636 There's no back office. 638 00:36:52,387 --> 00:36:54,344 You must have done it once. 639 00:36:56,137 --> 00:36:57,386 No, I don't think so. 640 00:36:57,678 --> 00:37:00,136 And we're rarely alone. 641 00:37:00,428 --> 00:37:01,927 There's the staff... 642 00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:04,261 And it's not our thing. 643 00:37:04,553 --> 00:37:05,636 Not your thing? 644 00:37:08,178 --> 00:37:11,219 Mating is everyone's thing, ma'am. It's universal. 645 00:37:13,095 --> 00:37:14,677 Stroke her thigh. 646 00:37:15,803 --> 00:37:16,761 Pardon? 647 00:37:17,220 --> 00:37:19,552 Touch your wife. Show me what you do. 648 00:37:19,845 --> 00:37:20,927 I'm interested. 649 00:37:26,178 --> 00:37:27,219 I'm joking! 650 00:37:28,553 --> 00:37:29,802 He believed me! 651 00:37:30,178 --> 00:37:33,802 I'm joking. I'm not a pervert! I was lightening the mood. 652 00:37:34,470 --> 00:37:35,511 Oh, OK. 653 00:37:36,595 --> 00:37:40,094 I'll leave you alone. Well, I enjoyed... 654 00:37:40,512 --> 00:37:42,011 our little chat. 655 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,011 Have a good evening. 656 00:37:45,303 --> 00:37:46,344 Thank you. 657 00:37:46,637 --> 00:37:48,594 You're nice. I'll remember that. 658 00:37:49,428 --> 00:37:50,552 Very nice. 659 00:37:55,970 --> 00:37:59,344 Hey, kid, stay with us. We're starting again soon. 660 00:38:00,595 --> 00:38:01,427 Sorry. 661 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:02,927 Are you tired? 662 00:38:03,387 --> 00:38:04,927 No, I just nodded off. 663 00:38:05,387 --> 00:38:08,761 It's not normal at your age. Old folks do that usually. 664 00:38:09,053 --> 00:38:10,886 Even your mom's stayed awake. 665 00:38:11,178 --> 00:38:12,761 It's 11:30. What's wrong? 666 00:38:14,137 --> 00:38:15,136 Nothing. 667 00:38:15,970 --> 00:38:18,219 - You are his mother, right? - Yes. 668 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:22,719 You have to be careful what you say about these things nowadays. 669 00:38:23,387 --> 00:38:26,927 You see strange couples these days. 670 00:38:27,928 --> 00:38:28,969 Know who I mean? 671 00:38:31,470 --> 00:38:33,136 Man, oh, man! 672 00:38:33,803 --> 00:38:36,261 So why so tired, fella? What's wrong? 673 00:38:36,553 --> 00:38:38,677 - I'm OK. - He's on medication. 674 00:38:39,678 --> 00:38:42,511 He's tired because of the tranquilizers. 675 00:38:42,803 --> 00:38:44,469 He's chronically anxious. 676 00:38:45,053 --> 00:38:47,011 Really? How come? 677 00:38:47,428 --> 00:38:48,761 We don't know. 678 00:38:49,053 --> 00:38:50,136 They don't know. 679 00:38:51,053 --> 00:38:53,594 That's kinda rough for a kid, I expect. 680 00:38:53,887 --> 00:38:54,927 Yes, it is. 681 00:38:55,428 --> 00:38:58,636 Your big scary glasses must be making him anxious! 682 00:39:00,595 --> 00:39:01,719 Not at all. 683 00:39:02,303 --> 00:39:04,136 Hey, I'm joking! 684 00:39:04,428 --> 00:39:06,052 Does no-one get my humor? 685 00:39:08,137 --> 00:39:09,844 I keep getting flops. 686 00:39:10,470 --> 00:39:14,094 Did you see some of the show or did you sleep through it? 687 00:39:14,387 --> 00:39:15,511 No, I saw it. 688 00:39:15,803 --> 00:39:19,302 What did you think before I stepped in? Did you like it? 689 00:39:20,553 --> 00:39:21,636 Not really. 690 00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:24,719 That's reassuring. It wasn't good. 691 00:39:25,012 --> 00:39:26,469 The actors aren't bad. 692 00:39:26,762 --> 00:39:27,719 Not bad? 693 00:39:28,303 --> 00:39:29,011 Yeah. 694 00:39:29,303 --> 00:39:31,094 Your pills must be strong! 695 00:39:31,387 --> 00:39:34,052 They distort your perception of reality! 696 00:39:35,512 --> 00:39:36,219 You're stoned. 697 00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:37,927 It's not possible! 698 00:39:38,553 --> 00:39:40,344 I can't act this shit. 699 00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:41,969 The grammar mistakes! 700 00:39:42,220 --> 00:39:44,386 Let's just do it. It doesn't matter. 701 00:39:44,637 --> 00:39:47,969 It does matter. We'll look like goddam idiots. 702 00:39:48,178 --> 00:39:50,469 - Do something. - I don't wanna die. 703 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:53,511 Die, how? Is it even a real gun? 704 00:39:54,512 --> 00:39:55,761 Yeah, we don't know. 705 00:39:56,428 --> 00:40:00,011 Of course it's a fake. He's a loser with a fake gun. 706 00:40:00,678 --> 00:40:01,761 Look at him. 707 00:40:04,595 --> 00:40:07,052 He's getting the audience on his side. 708 00:40:08,053 --> 00:40:09,511 I don't believe it! 709 00:40:09,762 --> 00:40:10,927 It's unbearable. 710 00:40:11,512 --> 00:40:13,636 Paul, if you save the day, 711 00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:15,219 I'll sleep with you. 712 00:40:16,053 --> 00:40:16,761 What? 713 00:40:17,012 --> 00:40:19,344 I promise, get us out of this shit 714 00:40:19,595 --> 00:40:23,427 and you can take me however you want: from behind, upside down... 715 00:40:23,678 --> 00:40:25,094 But take out that guy. 716 00:40:25,387 --> 00:40:26,677 - What? - You're insane. 717 00:40:26,678 --> 00:40:28,469 I don't give a shit anymore. 718 00:40:28,678 --> 00:40:31,886 You can't sleep with me for nothing?! 719 00:40:32,678 --> 00:40:34,052 It's to motivate you. 720 00:40:34,262 --> 00:40:37,344 I've got no money on me, so you can fuck me, 721 00:40:37,595 --> 00:40:39,052 but get us out of here. 722 00:40:39,303 --> 00:40:41,927 Go on. He's not looking. Jump him! 723 00:40:43,345 --> 00:40:46,219 Actually, we got free tickets off a friend. 724 00:40:46,512 --> 00:40:47,427 Yeah. 725 00:40:48,303 --> 00:40:51,177 Did you agree with what I said before? 726 00:40:51,887 --> 00:40:54,469 We didn't really think about it. 727 00:40:54,803 --> 00:40:57,427 No, we don't really have a critical eye. 728 00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:02,094 But we understand. You had a 45-minute journey. 729 00:41:02,387 --> 00:41:03,844 And a 15-minute walk. 730 00:41:04,887 --> 00:41:06,427 - That's a lot. - Yeah. 731 00:41:07,178 --> 00:41:09,552 So, you're more demanding than us. 732 00:41:10,012 --> 00:41:12,511 - We live nearby, so it's OK. - Yeah. 733 00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:13,969 Really? 734 00:41:14,262 --> 00:41:17,427 That's news. It doesn't fall on deaf ears! 735 00:41:18,512 --> 00:41:22,844 How can I put it? Can I sleep at your place if it's not over too late? 736 00:41:24,845 --> 00:41:27,761 - Well, we don't live together. - No. 737 00:41:28,053 --> 00:41:32,052 Whichever. I just don't wanna stress over missing the last train. 738 00:41:32,345 --> 00:41:33,677 It's easier for me... 739 00:41:34,053 --> 00:41:36,427 I only have 1 bedroom, so there's not... 740 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,927 You have a pull-out sofa. 741 00:41:39,220 --> 00:41:41,427 - What? - You have a sofa bed. 742 00:41:42,637 --> 00:41:44,344 Your place is much bigger. 743 00:41:44,678 --> 00:41:47,136 It's not the same, there's my cat. 744 00:41:47,595 --> 00:41:49,011 - So? - He's tricky. 745 00:41:49,303 --> 00:41:53,261 Don't bother coming up with excuses. You don't want me there. 746 00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:55,886 I don't dream of seeing your dirty socks! 747 00:41:56,178 --> 00:41:58,344 Calm down, you broads, OK? 748 00:41:58,637 --> 00:42:01,844 So, is there anyone generous here tonight 749 00:42:02,137 --> 00:42:03,427 who'd put me up? 750 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:06,552 So I don't stress over missing the last train. 751 00:42:06,845 --> 00:42:07,886 Me! 752 00:42:09,053 --> 00:42:11,386 If you stop all this crap now 753 00:42:11,762 --> 00:42:13,761 and if you let everyone leave... 754 00:42:14,095 --> 00:42:15,844 I can give you an attic room. 755 00:42:16,137 --> 00:42:19,344 You were rude to me before. Don't dictate to me. 756 00:42:19,637 --> 00:42:21,552 This is the key to your apartment 757 00:42:21,845 --> 00:42:24,011 and your country house, OK? 758 00:42:24,428 --> 00:42:26,469 - I do as I like. - So, don't ask. 759 00:42:26,970 --> 00:42:29,219 - What? - Don't bother asking. 760 00:42:30,137 --> 00:42:33,677 If you know you can do as you please with that gun... 761 00:42:34,137 --> 00:42:35,261 don't ask. 762 00:42:35,928 --> 00:42:38,261 You've got a point. Why do I bother? 763 00:42:38,595 --> 00:42:40,802 I'll sleep on your sofa bed. 764 00:42:41,845 --> 00:42:43,636 OK, I don't mind. 765 00:42:43,928 --> 00:42:45,386 I'm sure you're not mean. 766 00:42:45,887 --> 00:42:48,636 Of course. You're seeing me in a bad light, 767 00:42:48,928 --> 00:42:51,177 but I'm a sweetie, don't worry. 768 00:42:51,595 --> 00:42:52,844 But I don't like cats. 769 00:42:53,137 --> 00:42:56,719 Lock it up so it doesn't bug me in my sleep. 770 00:42:57,012 --> 00:42:58,927 - She has the cat. - Yeah. 771 00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:01,969 Oh, OK, fine. It's a deal, then. 772 00:43:02,678 --> 00:43:04,261 The sofa bed it is! 773 00:43:06,512 --> 00:43:08,677 That's settled. Great. 774 00:43:09,262 --> 00:43:13,052 If I find someone to buy me a nice meal, this could become 775 00:43:13,345 --> 00:43:15,136 the best night of my life! 776 00:43:16,345 --> 00:43:18,427 I like where this is going. 777 00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,761 You've got a nice face. Hi! 778 00:43:23,428 --> 00:43:24,511 'Evening. 779 00:43:24,803 --> 00:43:28,302 How about grabbing a bite to eat after the show? 780 00:43:30,220 --> 00:43:33,719 Why not? But it's late. Everything will be shut. 781 00:43:34,053 --> 00:43:37,677 This is Paris. There must be a tavern or something. 782 00:43:38,553 --> 00:43:40,302 It's not easy around here. 783 00:43:40,595 --> 00:43:41,552 Really? 784 00:43:42,137 --> 00:43:43,886 There's the Pig's Trotter. 785 00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:48,802 Near Les Halles. It's nice, they serve all night. 786 00:43:49,095 --> 00:43:51,594 Now I know your weird password, 787 00:43:51,887 --> 00:43:54,427 I'll do without your culinary tips. 788 00:43:55,012 --> 00:43:57,052 The Pig's Trotter suits you! 789 00:43:57,595 --> 00:43:59,594 The pig that gets his kicks! 790 00:44:02,512 --> 00:44:04,261 We'll find something. 791 00:44:04,553 --> 00:44:06,886 Even Arabic food - I'm not choosy. 792 00:44:08,512 --> 00:44:11,719 A kebab? Yeah, I think we can find that. 793 00:44:12,012 --> 00:44:14,886 Always a solution. Don't just say no. 794 00:44:15,178 --> 00:44:16,677 Many people are like that. 795 00:44:16,970 --> 00:44:19,719 Say yes first, not no, even if you're wrong. 796 00:44:20,012 --> 00:44:21,636 Sir... Yannick? 797 00:44:22,303 --> 00:44:23,427 A word? 798 00:44:25,762 --> 00:44:28,844 I'd completely forgotten about him. 799 00:44:31,137 --> 00:44:35,844 We were so happy, chatting that I'd forgotten about this shit! 800 00:44:36,137 --> 00:44:37,302 A word? 801 00:44:37,595 --> 00:44:40,761 What? Are you ready? What's going on? 802 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:42,844 Something's wrong. 803 00:44:43,762 --> 00:44:45,052 Is it my lines? 804 00:44:45,345 --> 00:44:47,177 No, that's not the problem. 805 00:44:47,470 --> 00:44:49,927 Tell me. I won't be offended. 806 00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:52,677 I won't go to the Oscars with it! 807 00:44:54,470 --> 00:44:56,261 How can I put it? 808 00:44:57,303 --> 00:45:00,344 It's weird that you're getting on with the audience 809 00:45:00,637 --> 00:45:03,011 while we're hostages. 810 00:45:03,928 --> 00:45:06,511 Yeah, it's an unpleasant situation. 811 00:45:06,803 --> 00:45:09,344 It's very humiliating, see? 812 00:45:09,970 --> 00:45:11,886 Either you hold everyone up... 813 00:45:12,428 --> 00:45:14,011 Your choice, you're armed. 814 00:45:14,303 --> 00:45:17,261 Or you don't hold anyone up. That's also an option. 815 00:45:17,553 --> 00:45:19,761 But you can't hold some people up. 816 00:45:20,012 --> 00:45:22,677 Something's wrong. That's not how it works. 817 00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:26,761 What do you mean, Brains? Who am I not holding up? 818 00:45:27,053 --> 00:45:28,094 The audience. 819 00:45:29,053 --> 00:45:30,802 You're joking with them. 820 00:45:32,428 --> 00:45:33,719 It's very ambiguous. 821 00:45:34,095 --> 00:45:38,344 Hold on... You're ambiguous, whispering like that. 822 00:45:38,637 --> 00:45:40,094 I speak out loud, OK? 823 00:45:40,387 --> 00:45:42,969 What's it to you who I have a laugh with? 824 00:45:43,678 --> 00:45:46,636 Sure. Let me explain it differently. 825 00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:49,552 - You want us to act properly - Yep. 826 00:45:49,887 --> 00:45:53,011 - You want people to enjoy it. - Yep. 827 00:45:53,345 --> 00:45:56,302 You want people to go home, feeling comforted. 828 00:45:56,595 --> 00:45:58,511 That's the goal, yes. 829 00:45:58,803 --> 00:46:01,177 If you want the project to work, 830 00:46:01,928 --> 00:46:05,427 it's very important that people are on our side. 831 00:46:05,887 --> 00:46:09,302 Not on your side, but our side. That's very important. 832 00:46:10,053 --> 00:46:12,886 Understand? Otherwise, it won't work. 833 00:46:13,887 --> 00:46:14,969 Understand? 834 00:46:15,512 --> 00:46:16,969 OK, I get it. 835 00:46:17,303 --> 00:46:19,594 You're jealous 'cause they like me. 836 00:46:20,845 --> 00:46:22,094 He's jealous! 837 00:46:24,803 --> 00:46:26,886 - Give it back. - Gotcha! 838 00:46:27,345 --> 00:46:29,302 You didn't. Give it back. 839 00:46:29,595 --> 00:46:31,052 He got you good! 840 00:46:31,303 --> 00:46:32,927 Not so clever now! 841 00:46:33,345 --> 00:46:34,844 It's not like before! 842 00:46:36,303 --> 00:46:38,344 Did you believe-me, you nutter? 843 00:46:38,595 --> 00:46:40,052 It'll end badly. Give it. 844 00:46:40,345 --> 00:46:42,302 OK. Is it loaded? 845 00:46:42,887 --> 00:46:44,636 - Is it real? - Give it a try. 846 00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:45,886 Is it loaded? 847 00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:48,302 You can't even hold it properly. 848 00:46:48,595 --> 00:46:51,011 - Give it back. - You loser! Look. 849 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:53,969 No-one looks at you without this. 850 00:46:54,178 --> 00:46:56,052 No-one gives a shit about you! 851 00:46:56,678 --> 00:46:59,594 I know. There's no need to be harsh. Give it back. 852 00:46:59,887 --> 00:47:01,844 Stop it, you poor fool. 853 00:47:02,095 --> 00:47:04,761 You're lost for words now. "Give it back." 854 00:47:04,970 --> 00:47:08,052 "Give it back." How old are you? 8 and a half?! 855 00:47:08,595 --> 00:47:09,511 What'll you do? 856 00:47:09,762 --> 00:47:12,886 You need to calm down, give me my gun back, 857 00:47:13,178 --> 00:47:16,052 and perform the play I wrote, as planned. 858 00:47:16,678 --> 00:47:19,511 Sure we will! I've never seen such shit! 859 00:47:19,720 --> 00:47:20,969 It's hopeless! 860 00:47:21,928 --> 00:47:23,927 As he said, it's subjective. 861 00:47:24,178 --> 00:47:27,011 Shut your face! Shut up! Put your hands up. 862 00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:30,052 - Hands up! - Like in cowboy movies? 863 00:47:30,762 --> 00:47:32,844 Yeah, I'm a cowboy. Hands up! 864 00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:36,427 Hands up, baby, hands up! 865 00:47:36,678 --> 00:47:39,136 Shut up! No, stop it and shut up! 866 00:47:39,553 --> 00:47:41,636 Get down on the floor. Get down! 867 00:47:41,887 --> 00:47:42,927 What for? 868 00:47:43,220 --> 00:47:44,344 Call the cops. 869 00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:45,844 - What? - The cops. 870 00:47:46,303 --> 00:47:48,969 I'm handling this, OK? Let me handle it. 871 00:47:49,387 --> 00:47:50,636 This is a bit weird. 872 00:47:50,928 --> 00:47:52,094 He's right. 873 00:47:52,553 --> 00:47:55,719 Did you have the balls to intervene? No. 874 00:47:56,095 --> 00:47:59,761 You didn't move. I took all the risks, so leave it to me. 875 00:48:01,012 --> 00:48:02,219 - No... - Stop! 876 00:48:03,220 --> 00:48:04,302 Fuck! 877 00:48:04,637 --> 00:48:08,511 It's a high-pressure situation. I've just done a heroic deed! 878 00:48:08,762 --> 00:48:12,594 Can't I vent for a second, just for the hell of it? 879 00:48:13,428 --> 00:48:15,261 So, shut your face! 880 00:48:15,512 --> 00:48:17,261 Don't yell at them. 881 00:48:17,512 --> 00:48:20,802 You'll have a heart attack. What's going on? 882 00:48:21,053 --> 00:48:23,261 I'll have a heart attack if I want! 883 00:48:23,512 --> 00:48:27,427 Now get down on the floor. I won't keep saying it. Go on. 884 00:48:27,928 --> 00:48:31,427 Be precise. How? Lying down? Sitting up? 885 00:48:32,845 --> 00:48:34,594 Get down on the floor! 886 00:48:34,803 --> 00:48:38,761 OK, I'm on all fours. There's no need to get worked up. 887 00:48:40,637 --> 00:48:42,052 That's good. 888 00:48:42,803 --> 00:48:43,719 Look at me. 889 00:48:44,428 --> 00:48:46,302 Know what you'll do now? 890 00:48:46,970 --> 00:48:50,177 You're going to bark. Go on, bark like a little dog. 891 00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:51,511 It's embarrassing. 892 00:48:52,095 --> 00:48:53,552 What's your problem? 893 00:48:54,178 --> 00:48:55,136 What? 894 00:48:55,387 --> 00:48:57,969 Can't I belittle him for my own pleasure? 895 00:48:58,178 --> 00:48:59,344 Stop defending him. 896 00:48:59,595 --> 00:49:02,802 The guy has been terrorizing you for 2 hours! 897 00:49:05,095 --> 00:49:06,136 Now you love him! 898 00:49:06,678 --> 00:49:08,719 - No... - What, then? 899 00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:11,052 You are kinda jealous! 900 00:49:11,845 --> 00:49:13,886 Stop it. I'm sick of it! 901 00:49:14,303 --> 00:49:16,719 You're the only one laughing here! 902 00:49:16,928 --> 00:49:20,427 "I had a 15-minute walk"! I'm sick of it, pal! 903 00:49:21,303 --> 00:49:22,511 I've had enough! 904 00:49:23,095 --> 00:49:24,469 More than enough! 905 00:49:25,428 --> 00:49:26,261 Lick the floor. 906 00:49:26,470 --> 00:49:29,594 You've lost the plot now. You're showing your dark side. 907 00:49:29,845 --> 00:49:31,386 That's not right. 908 00:49:32,970 --> 00:49:34,136 Lick it now. 909 00:49:35,053 --> 00:49:37,844 Think of the audience. What'll they think of you? 910 00:49:43,220 --> 00:49:45,302 I don't care about the audience. 911 00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:48,677 I don't give a damn about them. 912 00:49:50,262 --> 00:49:52,927 He's right. What we do every night is shit. 913 00:49:53,220 --> 00:49:54,219 Isn't it? 914 00:49:54,637 --> 00:49:56,344 Now is not the time... 915 00:49:56,970 --> 00:49:58,386 It isn't worth a damn. 916 00:49:59,220 --> 00:50:01,136 Look, they're bored shitless. 917 00:50:04,470 --> 00:50:07,136 The place is half-empty. And their faces... 918 00:50:07,637 --> 00:50:09,136 Shitty atmosphere! 919 00:50:10,428 --> 00:50:14,302 Their bored rat faces make me wanna fuckin' die! 920 00:50:15,345 --> 00:50:18,802 So, yeah, he's right, I am jealous! 921 00:50:20,137 --> 00:50:22,719 I wanted to make movies, not this! 922 00:50:22,970 --> 00:50:26,427 I like Depardieu, Belmondo, Dewaere! 923 00:50:27,303 --> 00:50:29,427 I hate these shitty sets! 924 00:50:29,762 --> 00:50:31,094 I don't give a fuck! 925 00:50:32,012 --> 00:50:35,719 How low I've fallen! What am I doing here? 926 00:50:36,553 --> 00:50:38,386 You, you fuck... 927 00:50:43,762 --> 00:50:45,094 Go on. 928 00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:47,927 Lick the floor. 929 00:50:48,595 --> 00:50:49,636 Go on. 930 00:50:50,803 --> 00:50:51,802 Lick it! 931 00:50:52,012 --> 00:50:55,261 First of all, what should I imagine? 932 00:50:55,262 --> 00:50:58,177 Is there food on the floor? Direct me. 933 00:50:58,387 --> 00:50:59,677 I can't just do it. 934 00:51:01,178 --> 00:51:04,844 You're gonna lick a bum's puke 935 00:51:05,220 --> 00:51:09,552 because you're a stray dog that lives in a garbage dump. 936 00:51:10,345 --> 00:51:13,344 I just wrote the scenario! 937 00:51:14,387 --> 00:51:16,802 Go on, lick it. 938 00:51:17,012 --> 00:51:20,136 Do it! Do it before I blow your face off. 939 00:51:20,387 --> 00:51:23,969 I'll count to 5. Do it. I don't care anymore. Look at me. 940 00:51:24,470 --> 00:51:26,219 I'm beyond caring now. 941 00:51:26,637 --> 00:51:27,636 Go on, do it! 942 00:51:28,553 --> 00:51:30,136 Go on. 1... 943 00:51:31,262 --> 00:51:32,344 2... 944 00:51:33,095 --> 00:51:34,052 3... 945 00:51:34,845 --> 00:51:35,677 4... 946 00:51:40,053 --> 00:51:42,052 Where did you come from, you moron? 947 00:51:42,345 --> 00:51:44,636 Are you OK? Hold on, don't move. 948 00:51:44,928 --> 00:51:46,261 Keep still. 949 00:51:53,053 --> 00:51:54,844 Everything's under control. 950 00:51:55,803 --> 00:51:58,344 I'm handling things. You can relax now. 951 00:51:58,887 --> 00:52:00,094 I'm in charge again. 952 00:52:00,387 --> 00:52:01,177 I've had enough. 953 00:52:02,303 --> 00:52:05,219 I've been patient, but I've had it up to here. 954 00:52:05,512 --> 00:52:08,761 You're all cretins. I've never seen anything like it. 955 00:52:09,095 --> 00:52:11,719 Well, I'm getting out of here. 956 00:52:12,137 --> 00:52:13,761 So, go home! 957 00:52:14,137 --> 00:52:15,844 Shut up, you fool! 958 00:52:19,012 --> 00:52:20,052 OK... 959 00:52:21,845 --> 00:52:25,219 He surprised me so much, I don't know what to say. 960 00:52:25,678 --> 00:52:26,886 Honestly... 961 00:52:27,512 --> 00:52:30,677 Frankly, I take it all back. You were... 962 00:52:31,178 --> 00:52:33,636 masterful. Really... 963 00:52:33,928 --> 00:52:36,344 I was too quick to judge, so, sorry. 964 00:52:36,637 --> 00:52:39,719 I take back all I said. I take my hat off to you. 965 00:52:40,345 --> 00:52:42,761 Can we give him a big hand? 966 00:52:43,178 --> 00:52:44,969 Honestly, it was magic! 967 00:52:45,678 --> 00:52:46,969 Bravo, Paul Rivière! 968 00:52:47,262 --> 00:52:48,594 Hats off! 969 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:33,427 THE CUCKOLD 970 00:54:11,553 --> 00:54:14,177 It's 3:40 PM. Dr. Bertrand shouldn't be long 971 00:54:14,428 --> 00:54:18,677 because, in fact, we had an appointment at 3:40 PM... in fact. 972 00:54:21,637 --> 00:54:22,802 Hello, Madeleine 973 00:54:23,012 --> 00:54:25,344 I'm listening. Tell me everything. 974 00:54:26,428 --> 00:54:29,844 Hello, Doctor. I did all the tests you asked for, 975 00:54:30,095 --> 00:54:31,927 that I was supposed to do. 976 00:54:33,178 --> 00:54:34,136 Very good. 977 00:54:34,678 --> 00:54:36,511 So, what are your conclusions? 978 00:54:36,762 --> 00:54:39,802 Well, despite all the tests you asked me to do, 979 00:54:40,095 --> 00:54:41,844 that I did on this patient, 980 00:54:42,137 --> 00:54:45,052 I'm unable to give you a detailed diagnosis 981 00:54:46,262 --> 00:54:48,761 because according to the tests' results, 982 00:54:49,887 --> 00:54:53,761 it would seem that this patient is quite simply in a coma. 983 00:54:54,928 --> 00:54:55,969 I see. 984 00:54:56,512 --> 00:55:00,719 You mean that, despite the tests I asked you to do on this patient, 985 00:55:00,970 --> 00:55:05,136 you haven't noticed anything else about this patient, Madeleine? 986 00:55:05,470 --> 00:55:07,177 Is that what the tests say? 987 00:55:07,428 --> 00:55:11,511 Yes, Doctor. I haven't noticed anything other than the fact 988 00:55:11,928 --> 00:55:13,844 that he is in a deep coma. 989 00:55:14,137 --> 00:55:16,469 Completely, according to the tests. 990 00:55:19,553 --> 00:55:20,802 Sorry, Yannick, 991 00:55:21,095 --> 00:55:23,594 I'm not making fun of you, but... 992 00:55:24,387 --> 00:55:25,719 do we keep the mistakes? 993 00:55:26,678 --> 00:55:28,636 Say it like it's written. 994 00:55:28,928 --> 00:55:30,636 We keep them, OK. 995 00:55:35,095 --> 00:55:36,636 According to the tests. 996 00:55:37,678 --> 00:55:39,719 Are you certain about that? 997 00:55:39,970 --> 00:55:43,927 And lastly, are you certain you did the tests 998 00:55:44,137 --> 00:55:45,344 correctly? 999 00:55:45,762 --> 00:55:47,594 Absolutely, Dr. Bertrand. 1000 00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:51,302 I followed all the... potrocol to the letter. 1001 00:55:51,887 --> 00:55:55,469 I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this patient 1002 00:55:55,762 --> 00:55:58,511 is indeed in a deep coma. 1003 00:55:58,803 --> 00:56:00,719 I'm certain, according to the tests. 1004 00:56:01,012 --> 00:56:04,136 Very well. Don't take it badly, Madeleine... 1005 00:56:04,970 --> 00:56:07,469 Let me tell you something. 1006 00:56:08,387 --> 00:56:09,969 But you're wrong. 1007 00:56:11,137 --> 00:56:12,594 - Pardon? - That's right. 1008 00:56:13,220 --> 00:56:14,386 You're wrong. 1009 00:56:14,887 --> 00:56:19,052 I'll prove that this patient isn't in a coma any more than you or I. 1010 00:56:19,303 --> 00:56:20,594 You'll see why. 1011 00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:24,011 Kiss him on the lips. 1012 00:56:24,387 --> 00:56:25,177 Doctor... 1013 00:56:25,470 --> 00:56:27,677 You heard what I said. 1014 00:56:28,262 --> 00:56:30,094 Kiss him on the lips. Go on! 1015 00:56:30,762 --> 00:56:32,511 Well, really! Why, Doctor? 1016 00:56:33,262 --> 00:56:36,136 It's a final test. You'll see why. 1017 00:56:36,553 --> 00:56:38,011 OK, here I go. 1018 00:56:39,137 --> 00:56:41,511 My God, no! I can't, Doctor. 1019 00:56:41,762 --> 00:56:43,761 His breath is awful. 1020 00:56:44,345 --> 00:56:47,677 It's worse than the sewers. I don't know if I can. 1021 00:56:47,928 --> 00:56:50,344 Don't be ridiculous, Madeleine. 1022 00:56:50,595 --> 00:56:52,969 You are able to do this final test. 1023 00:56:53,178 --> 00:56:55,969 I'm asking you for the sake of science. 1024 00:56:56,220 --> 00:56:58,927 Alright, I'll do it for the sake of science. 1025 00:57:05,303 --> 00:57:06,719 My God, he moved! 1026 00:57:07,220 --> 00:57:08,594 There we are! 1027 00:57:10,387 --> 00:57:12,427 As you just saw, 1028 00:57:13,053 --> 00:57:15,802 this patient you did the final test on 1029 00:57:16,053 --> 00:57:18,011 is not in a coma. 1030 00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,719 He suffers from a far more serious disease 1031 00:57:22,428 --> 00:57:25,761 which is far more common than a mere coma, Madeleine. 1032 00:57:26,303 --> 00:57:28,344 What, then? Is he a zombie? 1033 00:57:28,637 --> 00:57:29,802 Not at all. 1034 00:57:30,845 --> 00:57:33,969 It will surprise you, but I will tell you though. 1035 00:57:34,637 --> 00:57:37,427 And you will listen to me carefully. 1036 00:57:38,178 --> 00:57:39,719 And you will be amazed. 1037 00:57:40,845 --> 00:57:43,761 This patient, Madeleine, is lovesick. 1038 00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:45,677 Lovesick?! 1039 00:57:46,053 --> 00:57:46,886 Yes. 1040 00:57:48,512 --> 00:57:53,177 I recently discovered, while conducting secret neurological research... 1041 00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:56,636 that many patients we think are in a coma 1042 00:57:56,887 --> 00:58:00,386 are, in fact, inanimate due to a lack of love. 1043 00:58:01,012 --> 00:58:02,761 Incredible, isn't it? 1044 00:58:04,428 --> 00:58:05,886 Nature is fascinating. 1045 00:58:08,053 --> 00:58:10,927 Mind you, forgive me, Doctor, but... 1046 00:58:11,220 --> 00:58:14,469 with his breath, mind you, it's understandable.