1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,440 We are heading into one of the harshest winters on the planet. 2 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,080 There's no finish line. 3 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:27,040 But there is $250,000 waiting for the last person. 4 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,000 It's so cold. 5 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 Cold like this can kill you. 6 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,480 I can't feel my face. 7 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,720 I can't feel my hands. 8 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,680 This weather's going to sort a few people out. 9 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,600 The wolves howling across the lake send shivers up your spine. 10 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,200 You've got wolverines, wolves, bears. 11 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,920 It's a whole new frontier. 12 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,360 Alone season four, the Arctic. 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,480 It's on like Donkey Kong. 14 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,680 The mind's unravelling. 15 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,200 It's gone completely tits up. 16 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,760 I didn't think it would be easy, 17 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,440 but I didn't think it would be this hard. 18 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,840 The landscape doesn't care if you live or die. 19 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,800 I can feel my body dissolving. 20 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:15,760 Look, look, look. 21 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,720 that is so beautiful. 22 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,680 The northern lights are out. 23 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,440 The magic in the air. 24 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,160 Permanent now. And here forever. 25 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,400 God! 26 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,480 I need to be here till the end. I'm not tapping. 27 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,200 - Dinner! 28 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,960 Hello? 29 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,440 Hello? He's not here. 30 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,600 Hello, mate? 31 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,160 He's gone. He's actually gone. He's missing. Call it in. 32 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,600 We need immediate backup for search and rescue. 33 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,280 I think we're home. 34 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,400 This just got serious. 35 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,920 We are heading into one of the harshest winters on this planet. 36 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:15,960 It's going to be a nightmare if you're not prepared. 37 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,560 This is going to be crazy. 38 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,560 Australians think they know what they're in for. 39 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,720 They have no idea. 40 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,600 I was born in the Arctic Circle. 41 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,520 Have a look at this. I'll be able to use him for bait. 42 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,240 There's a fish on there. 43 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,320 got him. 44 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,600 Another one! 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,600 Another one to Trent. 46 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,600 There's the liver. 47 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,680 101 days. Here we come. 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,080 So hard. 49 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,600 I come from a life of a lot of trauma. 50 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,240 My body's like, "I thought you'd left that tough life behind." 51 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,840 I'm in this constant fight or flight mode. 52 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,880 okay, that really hurt. 53 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,080 I'm really afraid of doing more damage to this hip. 54 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,640 I was going to move into my permanent shelter today, and I need to move 55 00:02:58,640 --> 00:02:59,720 all my stuff. 56 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,800 I can't do the movements I need to get things done. 57 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,600 my hip. 58 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,120 it's so sore. 59 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,880 I don't know what to do. 60 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,920 I can't carry the Peli case up the hill. 61 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,200 I can't. 62 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,320 I physically cannot with this hip. 63 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,680 It's going to destroy me. 64 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,880 Honestly, just, I feel like giving up. 65 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,440 I think I'm going to tap out. 66 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:25,280 I had so many plans. I had so many plans. 67 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,400 It was a dream to come here, and it's not enough time. 68 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,400 It's really not. 69 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,000 This hair. 70 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,560 I got my hair done for this because I had such a good idea. 71 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,040 Colouring, I don't just have wacky coloured hair usually. 72 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,560 I never colour my hair, ever, ever, ever. 73 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,600 I was going to make these awesome lures, like really cool lures. 74 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:10,560 I was going to cut a bit of the hair off and make little jigs out 75 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:15,040 of them so I could go ice fishing and I could work the whole water column. 76 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,920 I was going to get a combination of colours that were suitable for the 77 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,520 species out here. 78 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,680 And I was so excited to do it. 79 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,000 No, I didn't come... I did not come this far just to get this far. 80 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,240 No way, this can't be the end. 81 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,800 I'm not going. I'm not going. 82 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,800 Hell, no. 83 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,360 Not till I've made this lure and caught a fish with this hair. 84 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,520 I'm not a quitter. 85 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,280 Do it, do it, do it. 86 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,400 I'm moving, I'm moving. 87 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,520 We're in the boreal forest in the Arctic Circle. 88 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,440 It's just pain, it's just pain. 89 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,680 We're doing it, we're not giving up, we're going up the hill. 90 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,280 Come on, you can do this. 91 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,440 just a couple of metres. 92 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,280 Don't put it down, don't put it down, don't put it down. 93 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,120 Okay, okay, okay, just bear it, just bear it. 94 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,800 Get it in. 95 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,600 I did it. 96 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,320 Okay, we are going to put you here. 97 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,000 I did it. 98 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,240 I did it, I moved it. 99 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,000 that was intense. 100 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,320 But the hardest bit's done, holy shit. 101 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:56,640 20 minutes ago, I did not think that was going to happen. 102 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,440 I don't know where that came from, 103 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,040 but I just ignored the pain and I pushed through. 104 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,160 Okay, I've got to keep going. 105 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,280 Bit of hip pain. 106 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,080 Harden the fuck up, Alyce. 107 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,040 Guys done crazy things. 108 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:36,880 shit. 109 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,280 That was funny. 110 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,200 See how slow your reaction time gets when you... 111 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,880 I'm fucking hungry. 112 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,560 I think I'm going to go back to bed. 113 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,120 What was that? 114 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,960 Over there. 115 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,520 Guys, there's deer here. 116 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,600 117 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,320 They're so beautiful. 118 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,680 I don't want to spook them. 119 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,120 there's more. there's more. 120 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:49,960 So quiet, like here I am stomping through the bush, making a ruckus, 121 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:54,040 and they're just being peaceful, one with nature, you know? 122 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,120 this is magic. 123 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,120 This is so magic. 124 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,560 They're so cute when they run. 125 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,360 When I first landed here, I thought I was so prepared. 126 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:15,000 I just really wanted to win, but, God, like I just didn't expect it to 127 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,920 remind me of every traumatic experience I've ever had. 128 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,760 I've spent a few years in a car, you know? 129 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,840 It's not my first rodeo of tough places to be, you know? 130 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,280 You know, for the first time in my life, I have a home... 131 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:43,760 ..with a loving partner and a beautiful community. 132 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,560 A lone reindeer. 133 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,280 Reindeers are in herds. 134 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,760 They're not solo animals, and I feel, for the first time in my life... 135 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,760 ..yeah, I've got my herd, you know? 136 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:20,120 And I think, I want to go back to that herd, you know? 137 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,120 Misty? 138 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,840 I guess I'm saying it... 139 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,040 I'm officially tapping out. 140 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,720 I just don't want to be doing this alone, you know? 141 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,400 I've done it enough. 142 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,440 I feel so relieved about it, you know? 143 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,560 Like, just this impending doom. 144 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,200 And my body just was like, "No." 145 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,920 "No way are we going through more trauma again 146 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,800 "when you have a choice not to, you know?" 147 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,880 What are you feeling right now, Misty? 148 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,040 just my body's a bit in shock, you know? 149 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,920 A lot of shock. 150 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,440 And like, in a way, peace. 151 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,600 Like, once I made the phone call, it was like, 152 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,800 oh, I don't have to stay here, you know? 153 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:29,320 Just reminded me of all the tough times I've had 154 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,440 and how many times I've just had to endure it alone, you know? 155 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:38,400 And for the first time in my life, I actually don't have to do that. 156 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,760 Nature is my love, is my safe space. 157 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,840 And I had a magical day with reindeer coming through camp today. 158 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,800 And reindeer don't travel solo. 159 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:54,800 They travel in herd. 160 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,640 And I got my herd waiting for me back home, you know? 161 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,840 God, I just know I'm loved, you know? 162 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,400 I just want to hold everything dear to me... 163 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,760 so close. 164 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,560 OK. 165 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,240 Fireplace. 166 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,680 Day seven, no food, no problem. 167 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:48,400 And I was thinking maybe after one or two days, I'll be struggling. 168 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,600 Look at this. 169 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,880 But look, I'm still working like a horse. 170 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,120 I have my fireplace. 171 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,560 I have a shelter. 172 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,080 We're getting there. 173 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,520 I'll cook all of this today. 174 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,480 My little house is coming along. 175 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,440 Starting to feel like home. 176 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,680 Smell of mushrooms. 177 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,080 It's going to be so good. 178 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,080 I'm so happy. 179 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,800 I'm going to have to find more of them. 180 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,600 there's a grouse. 181 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,240 He's been having a little dirt bath like chickens do. 182 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,200 my guts is rumbling. 183 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,280 Imagine if you're allowed to hunt with a bow. 184 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,520 That'd be... easy shot. 185 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,400 God, I hope that doesn't make it on TV. 186 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,880 Welcome to another beautiful day 187 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:34,440 in Sapmi, on this wonderful lake that I'm now much closer to. 188 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,560 It's been a big week. 189 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,560 I feel like I'm going all right mentally. 190 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,280 that sun feels nice. 191 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,920 It was noticeably colder last night. 192 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,800 Bit of a stark reminder that winter's coming. 193 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,160 Already a few improvements on the old shelter. 194 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,160 I'm pretty happy. 195 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,800 Pretty happy with this little spot down here. 196 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,160 I'm concerned about how much weight I'm losing. 197 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,520 I'm going to spend the morning foraging, 198 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,640 eating berries and looking through logs. 199 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,000 I'll see if I can find grubs. 200 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,480 Then that's bait for me to fish with. 201 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,960 And then if I see anything in the water, 202 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,440 really focus on getting some fishing done. 203 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,000 I've just got to hope that I can get it out far enough. 204 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,800 Hopefully we can turn you into a fish. 205 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,240 It is really important that I get this first fish. 206 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,360 The sooner I can get some fish, 207 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,240 the sooner I can get some calories back into me. 208 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,800 I guess my technique's getting a little bit better. 209 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,880 Still not far enough out though. 210 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:47,160 If I can't get any soon, I might be in a bit of trouble. 211 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,240 Even the duck out there's not having much luck. 212 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,960 It's probably thinking the same thing. 213 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,920 "Where's all the fish?" 214 00:17:54,920 --> 00:18:01,280 If I keep looking at all the signs here the land's trying to tell me, 215 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,000 that duck knows where all the fish are, 216 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,240 because it's going just about 30 metres out from the shoreline 217 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,360 and it goes all the way along. 218 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,720 They always go back to the centre of the lake. 219 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,760 Maybe that's where I need to go. 220 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:34,080 I'm building a damn boat in the Arctic. 221 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,200 Good thing I got two tarps. 222 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,720 Yeah, all right, that's the length I've got to play with. 223 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,680 I did collect some wood yesterday, 224 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:49,280 which might make the top frame to go around me and the one at the base. 225 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,920 I want it to be a little bit wide. 226 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,760 I also want it to be deep. 227 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:58,440 And then I'll have a bunch of little U-shaped pieces 228 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,440 going along the outside. 229 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,440 Never built a kayak before, so this is going to be a new experience. 230 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,560 It's a big task. 231 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,560 And I don't have a lot of calories to spend. 232 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,080 But I need fish. 233 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,720 I need fish so I can stay here for the long run. 234 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,640 I'm a Palawa boy from Tassie, from Lutruwita. 235 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,240 Everyone finds different ways to connect to their culture 236 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,640 and to their ancestors. 237 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:36,320 For me, it's in getting to spend my time out connecting with the land 238 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:40,920 and practising the things that my grandfather, my ancestors, 239 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,840 they used to practise. 240 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,800 A bit long, but that's all right. 241 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,160 no way. 242 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,760 It's a fucking reindeer. 243 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,640 Check this little guy out. 244 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,600 my God, he's coming up to me. 245 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,760 Guys, he's coming up to me. 246 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,640 Hey, little guy. 247 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,640 Hello. 248 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,720 Hey, mate. 249 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,040 Come check out my boat. 250 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:16,640 Hey. 251 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,040 damn, guys. 252 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,200 How cool is that? 253 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,200 He's just passing through. 254 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:41,760 At a lot of pivotal moments in my life, a lone white animal appears. 255 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:49,240 It might be some sort of albino of the species 256 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:54,080 or just a single white bird. 257 00:20:55,760 --> 00:21:03,720 Mum says that's usually Granddad, or from Granddad. 258 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,080 That you know it's looking out for you. 259 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,560 You started on a path and it's just sort of like a reassurance. 260 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,160 I'm definitely meant to build this boat is what I'm feeling. 261 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,440 Yeah, it's really special. 262 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,800 I don't know. It's just crazy. 263 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,360 Today is my sister's birthday. 264 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:24,960 Happy birthday, Jordi! 265 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,960 I miss you lots. 266 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,720 And I'm sorry I can't be there right now. 267 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:37,240 But I promise I'll make it up to you on the next one. 268 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,200 God, I feel like the worst sister. 269 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,400 But a big reason why I'm doing this is for her. 270 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,480 I want her to see that I was uncomfortable. 271 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,480 I sat with it. 272 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,640 I've pushed through and I've given it my all. 273 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,040 If I can do this, then she's more than capable to do anything that she 274 00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,480 wants to do in her life. 275 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,040 Today is the day where I need to find my sisu. 276 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,600 That extra fuel tank I didn't know I had. 277 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,640 Today is that day. 278 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,080 Because my body feels so low. 279 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,320 Let's go. 280 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:34,360 I haven't eaten in eight days besides blueberries. 281 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:38,400 And I'm super fragile at the moment. 282 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,280 So I'm just keeping that in mind. 283 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,640 Catching no fish is really starting to get to me. 284 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,360 It just feels like I'm not doing good enough. 285 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:52,080 Due to my own standards, of course. 286 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,440 So frustrating. 287 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,480 My body can't keep just eating blueberries, 288 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,240 as much as I would like to. 289 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:08,280 It needs fish to be happy and fish to survive. 290 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,240 I think I have something. 291 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,440 Or it's a snag. 292 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,840 It's a snag. 293 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,480 It scares me. 294 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:45,240 Like, what if I don't catch any fish today or tomorrow or the next day 295 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,160 or the next day or the next day or the next day or the next day? 296 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,480 Like, how much failure can I take? 297 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,960 no! 298 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,720 What did I pull that hard for? 299 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560 She's gone. 300 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,880 My lure is gone. 301 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,360 My hook is gone. 302 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,440 My swivel is gone. 303 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:28,760 My sinker is gone. 304 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,320 It's not my idea of fun. 305 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,760 I don't like it. 306 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,560 I don't like it at all. 307 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,120 This isn't fun. 308 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:59,920 This is going to be one of the hardest things to ever record. 309 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:10,800 But I feel like I need to say it so you can understand a bit more 310 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:17,640 about why I've just been a blobbering mess. 311 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:35,120 I have struggled with a lot of mental health issues for quite a long time. 312 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,360 And it's been quite a struggle, 313 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:44,200 something that I've been hiding from everyone, from myself. 314 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,240 And... 315 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:55,240 ..the reason I thought I could do this 316 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,560 is because I feel more comfortable alone. 317 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,320 I feel like when I'm alone, 318 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,160 I hide from the world 319 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:12,520 and I don't have to put on a smiling face 320 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:19,560 and I don't have to pretend to be happy when I'm not. 321 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,040 And being out here... 322 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:38,480 ..I feel like all of those things have really hit me in the face. 323 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:47,600 And a lot of negative thoughts and feelings are coming up every day. 324 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:58,040 Because the truth is, mentally I'm struggling. 325 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:06,880 Mentally, there's this voice that's putting me down a lot 326 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,920 and I do a lot of work to keep that quiet 327 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,520 and to try and help and to try and fix it. 328 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:19,920 But the truth is, when I'm out here, 329 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,480 all of those coping mechanisms 330 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,240 and all of those things that I have in place are just ripped apart. 331 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,280 I've spent many days alone. 332 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,120 I've hiked alone. 333 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,600 I've been alone. 334 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,040 I've travelled alone. 335 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,480 But I've never just sat in one place alone. 336 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,960 And it's eating me up. 337 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:09,040 There's just no point being here, being miserable every day. 338 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,440 There's just no point going through that. 339 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,920 the Northern lights are out. 340 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,520 The magic in the air. 341 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,080 So pretty. 342 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,600 I'm going to take it as a good luck charm. 343 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,200 They're telling me to stay. 344 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,720 Putting on a show. 345 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,200 My connection with land isn't over. 346 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,840 I belong on this side of the world. 347 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,960 I think some sleep is going to do me some good. 348 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,480 Finding my sisu. 349 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,160 It's a little bit nippier than usual this morning. 350 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,160 Just a little bit. 351 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,400 It's got a little nip to it. Nothing crazy. 352 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,800 I'm a little bit chilly. 353 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:21,080 Yeah, I was zipped up in the sleeping bag last night. 354 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,120 Not much head sticking out or anything. 355 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,280 Just a little breather hole. 356 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,440 That was it. 357 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,160 Didn't even get sweaty. 358 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,400 So that's a measurement for you there. 359 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,840 That's a measurement for sure. 360 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,760 First thing, foraging. 361 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,320 Try and get any more mushrooms that I can get. 362 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:46,880 Just like a machine right now that just runs on mushrooms. 363 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,280 Whoo-ee! 364 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,400 Day's warming up. 365 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,320 I'm picking heaps of food. 366 00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:00,440 Got a big old sack of mushrooms already. 367 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,960 Nice mushroom belly. 368 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,440 Check out this little lichen patch. 369 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,800 holy moly. 370 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,640 Something about the dry patches, the worms don't like it as much. 371 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,920 I'm going to try and get as much mushrooms as I possibly can because 372 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,200 they won't be here forever. 373 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,320 And they're valuable. 374 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:22,840 Very valuable. 375 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,920 And then smoke all of them. 376 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,520 And yeah, I'll be a big-time mushroom man. 377 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,720 Don't know what those are. 378 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:37,440 I don't know if anyone's ever credited lone success 379 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:42,560 to the majority of mushrooms, but I might be that guy. 380 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:02,120 I'm picking what's around, picking what's available to me right now. 381 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,920 But I want something more than mushrooms in my diet. 382 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:08,920 So I'm going to try out harvesting a bit of pine cambium. 383 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,280 That's the layer just underneath the bark that transports nutrients 384 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,440 throughout the tree. 385 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:21,200 It's got carbs in it, which I'm not getting maybe any of. 386 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,320 So I'm just getting the outer bark off first, 387 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,720 stripping that... 388 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:34,120 ..and getting this white section all clean. 389 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:40,160 And then I should be able to go just up to the wood 390 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,200 and get these long strips. 391 00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:47,320 And that is what I'm eating. 392 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,520 Cambium. 393 00:34:53,920 --> 00:35:00,400 Not too much because if you overdo it, can block up the butt... 394 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,080 The butt! 395 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:06,280 Block up the guts so bad that, uh, 396 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,680 you, like, I'd have to leave because I would need a laxative. 397 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:19,320 Part of my strategy mentally out here is this thing called small hope. 398 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:23,240 It's a mindset that's helped me through difficulty in the past. 399 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:25,960 Try a bit of this cambium. 400 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,000 It's kind of like a hope in spite of circumstance. 401 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,800 No matter what the circumstance, you never know what tomorrow brings. 402 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,400 Very fibrous. 403 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:38,200 I've got mushrooms, I've got tree bark, I've got determination. 404 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,280 I'm gonna make a rod so I can cast out a bit further. 405 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,440 And even if I, like, completely flop at fishing, 406 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,840 that small hope tells me that, like, I can still win. 407 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:48,840 Fun. 408 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,600 Old, soggy, maggoty mushrooms. 409 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,240 Gosh, the things you do. 410 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,840 Just the texture... the flavour. 411 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,280 what I would give for a fish. 412 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,240 Pretty brisk this morning. 413 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:47,400 we've got a lovely day. 414 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,040 Look how good this lake is, man. 415 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,040 Look at this. 416 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,520 Not a fish in sight. 417 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:57,960 I'm surprised at this water here in this little bay. 418 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,160 How it's just so shallow. 419 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,760 It's just like a foot or two under the surface. 420 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,360 That's why I'm not catching anything. 421 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,840 So I don't want to waste my time fishing there. 422 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,840 Fuck that, I'm going for the deep. 423 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,880 the monsters from the deep. 424 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:20,080 It's what I want. 425 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,120 It's what's going to keep me alive out here. 426 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,200 I've got a plan. 427 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,400 All right, come on, Dougy, let's do this. 428 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:36,000 Right, Operation Canoe, or Kayak, whatever you want to call it. 429 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,520 Titanic. 430 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,760 What could possibly go wrong? 431 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,640 A sparky, pulling a canoe out of sticks and a tarp. 432 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:52,800 All right. 433 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:59,960 It might be a bit wide, but what do I know? 434 00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:04,120 I'm really enjoying just being out here in the wild. 435 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,680 Even when I was a kid at school, 436 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,680 I was the only one out of all my mates 437 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,400 who would be out in the woods in the middle of the night, 438 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,080 poaching pheasants, and all my other mates would be out, you know, 439 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,520 smoking and drinking and all that crap. 440 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,760 All those skills combined gives me a real edge. 441 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:30,040 Once I get the braces on, it'll all come together, hopefully. 442 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:35,000 So they're going to kind of look like that. 443 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,880 You know what I mean? 444 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,400 I'll just cut a little groove in, 445 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,200 and this is going to be the bend up, 446 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,320 in theory. 447 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,760 no! 448 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,080 Let's try again. 449 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,760 I'm going to give that a whirl. 450 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,160 it's not... 451 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,120 Fuck! 452 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,440 What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? 453 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,720 I think I need to think of a new game plan here with this wood. 454 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,800 But look, this is what I'm working with. 455 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,000 Trying to bend this. 456 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,200 Look, knot, knot, knot. 457 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:37,840 Knot, knot, knot. Knot, knot, knot. 458 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,320 Knot, knot, knot, knot, knot, knot. 459 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,120 It's just so knotty. 460 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,560 How can I bend wood without it snapping? 461 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,640 If I heat it up, it'll make it softer. 462 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:02,400 I'm thinking if I heat this up on the fire, that might bend. 463 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,000 Try this again. 464 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,000 It's coming a lot better. 465 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,600 Come on, don't snap. 466 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,000 That's exactly what I wanted. 467 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000 Perfect. 468 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:38,440 See, I only need to do four of these, so it's not that big of an issue. 469 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,000 But I just want to get it right. 470 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:51,040 You can kind of see, if you squint, the makings of a kayak. 471 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,520 I'm so worried about not having fish right now. 472 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,320 I'm running out of energy. 473 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,320 Running out of time. 474 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,880 Running out of calories. 475 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,680 Running out of fat. 476 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,400 But all you can do is just keep trying. 477 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,400 Don't give in. 478 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:12,760 Try and get this kayak in the water. 479 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,640 And if that doesn't work, I'm screwed. 480 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,760 You know, I can't catch fish in the middle of the lake. 481 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,360 I don't know. 482 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,520 It's amazing how hard everything becomes when you're hungry. 483 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,240 I can't keep going like this without a feed. 484 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,000 A proper feed. 485 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,280 You just get massive anxiety. 486 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,680 That's what I've got right now. 487 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,200 no, it's just gonna snap. 488 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,800 I had a big forage today, and I found a couple of mushrooms and that's it. 489 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,120 I'm all foraged out. 490 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:52,760 I've wasted far too much energy today. 491 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,400 I've got one hope and one hope only, and that is to find fish. 492 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,720 So much riding on this kayak, it's unbelievable. 493 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,200 Check out that happy little family in the middle of the lake. 494 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,560 Those are some fucking big birds. 495 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,840 If they're happy out there, maybe there's some big fish out there. 496 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,440 All right, let's get this boat built. 497 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,360 Can't dick around looking at birds all day. 498 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:18,120 It ain't no masterpiece, 499 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,560 but we've got ourselves a pretty sturdy boat frame here. 500 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,320 I'm a bit happy with that. 501 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,720 I think that'll get the job done. 502 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,880 Yeah, she's a big boat. Going to take up most of this tarp. 503 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,960 Shit, eh? We're at this stage. 504 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,440 It's going to start actually looking like a boat. 505 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,440 Oh, I hate cutting such expensive tarp. 506 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,560 it's not very easy. 507 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,280 Slow it down. 508 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,320 It is important that I try and get this boat out on the water. 509 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,840 I've still got a little bit of tarp left to play with, I guess. 510 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,200 I'm just going to do a little test on some scrap over here, 511 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,640 see how tight I can pull it without it ripping. 512 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,720 But just as importantly, make sure that this thing floats. 513 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,440 Jesus Christ! 514 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:26,440 Yeah, right. 515 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:27,880 That's pretty good. 516 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,280 Because it'd be bloody dangerous 517 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,320 for me to fall in the water at the moment. 518 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,360 If I'm out in the middle of that lake, a cold shock can put me under. 519 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,680 time to get sewing. 520 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,000 "What did you craft when you were out on Alone?" 521 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,120 "I made two different sorts of sewing needle." 522 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,000 Good old constrictor knot. 523 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,120 Oh, you just can't go wrong with those. 524 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:05,280 out here all alone 525 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:12,480 but then you can go home. 526 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,000 rightio. 527 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,080 Well, shit. 528 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:28,360 All right, better make a paddle. 529 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,440 Day 10. 530 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:48,120 It's bloody fresh down here this morning. 531 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,680 Yeah, it is starting to get cold. 532 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:51,160 Bit frosty again. 533 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,600 Have a look at the mist in the background. 534 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:53,880 I look like a gorilla in the mist. 535 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,520 Well, I will in about another 30 days' time. 536 00:45:58,520 --> 00:45:59,520 All this hair. 537 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,160 Check this one over here. 538 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,720 come on, baby! 539 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,920 We got a perch. 540 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:12,840 We got a perch. 541 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:21,400 Plan today, start cutting some stuff up for the smoker. 542 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:25,240 Then we're going to go to the shelter, do a bit of work on that. 543 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:31,440 That should be looking pretty close to being done by the end of today. 544 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,800 And it's important, like, it's starting to drop off the temperature. 545 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,440 So, you know, I don't want to be doing that 546 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,400 when it's bloody minus 10 degrees. 547 00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,480 Start with the perch first, eh? 548 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,280 I'm reasonably happy with where I'm at. 549 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:44,960 I haven't really gone without food. 550 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,080 I've caught a few fish, caught a lot of fish. 551 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,840 And then, you know, using them as bait to catch my other fish 552 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,040 was bloody amazing. 553 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,680 that's not a bad start. 554 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,840 I've built a smoker 555 00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:02,160 and I've got at least two weeks of dried trout and fish. 556 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,480 She's full. 557 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:08,520 There's going to be a time where I can't fish. 558 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,120 Smoke in your eyes. 559 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,360 It's going to either be icing up 560 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,040 or the fish just aren't going to be biting. 561 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,040 It's going to be too cold. 562 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:19,040 So any fish I can get in the bank, the better. 563 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:22,160 I think I'm traveling all right at this stage. 564 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,600 I wonder when the predators come and try and start stealing my fish. 565 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,280 Smoke away, my little petal. 566 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,160 Let's go to the shelter. 567 00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:39,360 Slowly turning this into my home. 568 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,400 Once I'm down out of the shelter, you know, 569 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,800 everything I do will be permanent. 570 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:49,600 So I can really fix it up and get it exactly how I want. 571 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,640 Yeah, we're moving house. 572 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:59,320 It's in a low-lying gully, which is over the river. 573 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:00,880 It's a bit of a trek down there, 574 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,760 but, you know, once it's done, it's done. 575 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,480 man, this is hard work. 576 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,120 Glad I've only got to do this once. 577 00:48:14,240 --> 00:48:15,320 It's pretty swampy. 578 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,960 Look at the water in through here. 579 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,760 I don't want to get wet. 580 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,160 no. 581 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:26,480 No, no, no. 582 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:28,920 shit. 583 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,080 I've just walked down to where my new shelter is. 584 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:37,320 The river has risen a heap. 585 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,560 I thought it was just a little river. 586 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,160 I've got to try and get across it. 587 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,560 I'm going to have to build a bridge to get back over it, I reckon. 588 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:08,040 I want to stay on this ride as long as I can 589 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:11,760 and hopefully just set an example to my kids. 590 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,040 I'm probably not going to be the best survivalist person out here. 591 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,720 Like, I've fished and hunted my whole life, but I've never experienced 592 00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:23,000 anything of this magnitude. 593 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,120 But, yeah, I'll be striving to get the job done. 594 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,480 Like, I didn't come here not to win. 595 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,560 I'm not going to be happy if I'm not close to winning. 596 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,400 Put the fat end over the other side this time. 597 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,040 If you work hard, you can achieve anything. 598 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,160 And that's all I want for my kids is just to have a crack. 599 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,600 Do not drop your sleeping bag, whatever you do. 600 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,440 You hear people say that they're not going to quit. 601 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,640 I truly believe that I won't quit in this. 602 00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,520 And that's her. 603 00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,480 Pretty sure she's looking all right. 604 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,920 Day 10. 605 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,760 I wonder if my wife's had the cops around there yet. 606 00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,880 Friends and family that can't get a hold of me thinking that she's 607 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:17,640 probably knocked me off. 608 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,240 Come on, wind, give me a break. 609 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,400 Look at that. 610 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,640 Sitting here by the fire just trying to get warm because it's bitter. 611 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,160 Such a worry. 612 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,480 Is it going to be in for the next week? 613 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:48,920 You just don't know. 614 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,640 With the wind howling, today is the day to launch the kayak. 615 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,000 Just got to try and persevere. 616 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,120 It's just toned down a little bit there. 617 00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,120 I hope that's a sign of things to come. 618 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,880 this is so heavy. 619 00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:22,280 Can I get this on my back and just walk with it? 620 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,440 massive anxiety about this wind. 621 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,440 I can't see where I'm going. 622 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,280 I really can't. 623 00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:35,800 Let me see. 624 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:36,800 Right. 625 00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:38,880 Fuck. 626 00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,520 I don't want to damage the kayak on the rocks. 627 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,640 I can feel the wind blowing. 628 00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,840 Right. Straight going down to there. 629 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,720 Go, go, go, go, go. 630 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,080 Fuck. 631 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,680 can the wind just go away, please? 632 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,080 I want to go fishing in peace. 633 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:14,840 Hey! Jesus! No need to get feisty at me. 634 00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,960 What a shit day for a cast. 635 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:24,960 I'm so tired. 636 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:28,600 I can barely even throw it... 637 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,600 ..reel it, whatever you call it. 638 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:48,240 The wind is just taking it away. 639 00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:56,960 my God. 640 00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:03,920 It's me, this frickin' jacket. 641 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,560 I also feel so unbalanced. 642 00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,880 It's all in a knot now. 643 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,480 The wind put it in a knot. 644 00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,080 This is stupid. 645 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,400 I'm going to have to change my line. 646 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:29,200 I just want to fish! 647 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,800 No. 648 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,440 No! 649 00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,200 That was really scary. 650 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:15,160 I never got panic attacks until I came here. 651 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,560 I want to push through. 652 00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:32,760 I just don't know what's the line. 653 00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,600 What's the line where I say I'm not okay? 654 00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,760 Or this is going to hurt me in the future. 655 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,760 I just don't know. 656 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:52,560 Because I've never done this before and I've never felt like this before. 657 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:58,200 I don't know... 658 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,480 I don't know what else to do. 659 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,280 I'm over two weeks in and I haven't caught a fish. 660 00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:13,600 I saw that! 661 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:16,040 I can cut off a little bit of bait off my foot, I reckon. 662 00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:17,240 I could catch something on that. 663 00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:20,480 You eat me, I eat you. 664 00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:25,920 The winter, the cold winter is coming. 665 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,000 Welcome to Guts Ache Inn. 666 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,960 I'm here forever. 667 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,560 I've just got to learn how to eat rocks and moss and logs. 668 00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,360 I can't get the kayak going. 669 00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,200 This is just too dangerous. 670 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,320 You saw what happened to the Titanic. It sunk. 671 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,120 And I really don't want that to happen here. 672 00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,640 jeez, there's a strong wind. 673 00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,560 Here we go. 674 00:57:51,964 --> 00:57:53,964 .