1 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,427 Mum? Mum? 2 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,057 Mum? 3 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:17,434 Yeah? 4 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,060 Where are my shoes? 5 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,687 They're in the shoe basket, darling. They're always in the shoe basket. 6 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,817 Mummy, would you read this to me? 7 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,110 I can't right now, my darling, 8 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,612 cause I've got to get your brother ready for school. 9 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,572 But your dad will be here any minute. He'll read to you, won't he? 10 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,325 I bet he's not coming. 11 00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,203 No, don't say that. He wouldn't do that. And do you know how I know? 12 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,497 Because if he wasn't coming, he'd have text me. 13 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,624 That's what responsible people do, okay? 14 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,293 You remember that. 15 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,878 It's Dad. 16 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,714 He's being responsible. 17 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,718 Shit. 18 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,971 Oh! 19 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,104 Ah, Miss Jay. 20 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,565 If this is about my last exam, I know. 21 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,441 I had a match the night before in Newcastle. 22 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,152 Ah, yes, your football thing. 23 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,823 No, you've heard of the internship at McMillan and Parkes? 24 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,409 It's all Oliver talks about. He's convinced he's going to get it. 25 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,202 Yes. Well, I've encouraged them to meet you. 26 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,829 Assuming you're interested. 27 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,331 I'll send you the details. 28 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,001 See you tomorrow, 11:00 a.m. sharp. 29 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,921 Shit. 30 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,966 - Hurry up. - Yeah, yeah. 31 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,386 - Heard you the first few times there. - Oh, no. 32 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,387 I think it's from the landlord. 33 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,389 Oh, yeah? That's fun. 34 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,517 How can anything from that gobshite be fun, you curdled yogurt? 35 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,979 I don't know. Maybe it's a fucking party invitation, you burnt ham. 36 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,065 - Here. - What? 37 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,237 - Shit. - Shit. 38 00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:11,590 Shit. 39 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,598 - I think taking some time apart is good. - Yeah, definitely. 40 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,226 Wait, you put your French PhD in your bio? 41 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,938 Oui. It's a dating profile. I've gotta sell myself. 42 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:27,648 Well, what did you put? 43 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,817 Under interests you put skiing? You've never skied in your life. 44 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,403 Yeah, but I'm interested in it. 45 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,948 All right, shall we activate? 46 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,705 - I just matched with you. - Yeah, same. 47 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,542 - Shit. - Shit. 48 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,843 - Hey. - That was fast. 49 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,261 Almost didn't have time to put my trousers on. 50 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,137 I-I'm glad you did. 51 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,515 Wait, you play for Richmond, don't you? 52 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,724 Yeah, yeah, I do. 53 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,142 But you also deliver food? 54 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,144 Welcome to second division women's football. 55 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,313 Shit. 56 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,191 New year, new you, right? 57 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,236 But it isn't enough to want to be a better version of yourself. 58 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,989 If you want to open a new pathway to life, 59 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:22,451 you have to act, and it all starts with changing your behavior. 60 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:27,373 And to do that, you just need three profound words that will change your life. 61 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,293 Say "yes" more. 62 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,377 Try it now. 63 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:34,088 - Yes. - Yes. 64 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,256 Say again. 65 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,842 - "Yes." - Yes. 66 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,595 Yes, yes, yes! 67 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:43,514 Yes, yes, yes! 68 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,311 Shit. 69 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,801 Shoot. 70 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,347 {\an8}Good morning, Coach. 71 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:25,723 {\an8}Did you have a good weekend? 72 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,225 {\an8}- Yes. - Ooh! 73 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:28,976 {\an8}Sounds like it was a doozy, huh? 74 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,562 {\an8}- Yes. - Mmm. 75 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,485 {\an8}What's that? 76 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,529 {\an8}Oh. Uh, yeah that. 77 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,073 Um, just a little bit of self-motivation. 78 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,367 You okay with it in here? 79 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,786 {\an8}- Yes. - Mmm. Okay. 80 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,705 {\an8}Yeah, I mean, it is a little corny though, isn't it? 81 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,083 {\an8}- Yes. Oh, I mean no. - Yeah. 82 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:55,253 {\an8}Well, I didn't know where to hang it so I just put it up there for now. 83 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,713 {\an8}But... yeah. I don't know. 84 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,840 {\an8}Morning, fam. 85 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,049 {\an8}Morning, Coach. 86 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,844 {\an8}Good morning, Coach. 87 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,933 {\an8}You, uh, get a lot of sleep this weekend? 88 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,269 Is that a new shirt? 89 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,479 I have blue eyes now. 90 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,939 - Oh. - Oh. 91 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:15,941 Uh-huh. 92 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,901 Oh, no. They popped out. 93 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,862 - What happened? - My lens popped out. 94 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,280 - Oh, God. - I don't know where it is. 95 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,156 - We'll find it. - Help. 96 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,367 I don't know how. 97 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,911 Oh. 98 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,832 {\an8}You're trying to tell us that Dani Rojas wants to leave Richmond? 99 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,419 {\an8}As his agent, it's my duty to inform you he is very unhappy here. 100 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,880 {\an8}Ah, the famously maudlin Dani Rojas? 101 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,591 {\an8}I literally watch him cartwheel from his car into this building. 102 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:44,427 {\an8}Well, sometimes, it's the most joyful ones you have to worry about. 103 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,345 {\an8}- Look at the Joker. - Not a real person. 104 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,931 {\an8}Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this, 105 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,351 {\an8}but a big club has come in with a big offer for Dani. 106 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,855 {\an8}We're talking buy a private island and do weird shit on it kind of money. 107 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,648 {\an8}Which club? 108 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,109 {\an8}- Uh... - No one's approached us for Dani. 109 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,737 {\an8}And if they came to you first, that would be hugely inappropriate. 110 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,364 {\an8}Which is why I can't tell you who it was. 111 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,158 {\an8}Loose lips sink transfers. 112 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:10,453 {\an8}Now, I'm not saying he won't show up for training tomorrow. 113 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,205 {\an8}But if he didn't... 114 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,707 {\an8}I'd hate for any awkward, uh, 115 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,752 {\an8}"Rojas weighing options" headlines to pop up. 116 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:20,838 {\an8}- Hmm. Threat noted. - No, no, no. Not a threat. 117 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,549 {\an8}Just a gentle premonition. 118 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,467 {\an8}Hmm. 119 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,677 {\an8}Look, I might be able to talk Dani down from the ledge 120 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,388 {\an8}if we can make him feel seen. 121 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,556 {\an8}And then... 122 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,892 {\an8}if Roy Kent's new deal lands where it should... 123 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,809 {\an8}Oh. 124 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,353 {\an8}that would send a real message about loyalty. 125 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,230 {\an8}So now we're getting to it. 126 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,940 {\an8}This isn't about Dani. 127 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,652 {\an8}You're trying to bully us into overpaying your other Richmond client, Roy. 128 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,028 {\an8}Two birds, one pay bump. 129 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,655 {\an8}Hmm. 130 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,073 {\an8}Oh! Gotta take this one. 131 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,617 {\an8}- Mmm. - Laters, traitors. 132 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,411 {\an8}Do I hear the sounds of pounds? 133 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,208 {\an8}- I can't stand him. - Neither can I. 134 00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:00,002 {\an8}Hey, you ever used one of these dating sites, old buddy? 135 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:00,879 {\an8}Old? 136 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:04,757 {\an8}I-I'm sorry. I mean, just, buddy. 137 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,509 {\an8}Oh, yeah. 138 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,971 {\an8}Yeah, um, I downloaded every single one of them after Zelda's boat party. 139 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,597 {\an8}Hmm. Oh, yeah. How was that? 140 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,266 {\an8}- The party? - Yeah. 141 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,310 {\an8}It brought forth complete ego death and yet total resurrection. 142 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,855 Yep, that's exactly how I feel after I eat Wingstop. 143 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,648 Hey, Coach, you got a go-to Wingstop flavor? 144 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,733 Yes. 145 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,528 Oh, good. 146 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,284 Will you read this to me? 147 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,538 - Yes. - Archie! 148 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,457 Archie, no, not in here, not in... I am so... I am very sorry. 149 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,917 - It's all right. - My, um, 150 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:45,673 F-U-C-K-I-N apostrophe S-H-I-T-B-A-G of an E-X 151 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,800 has left me in the lurch again because he's... 152 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,885 a fucking wanker. 153 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,469 So, I've had to bring him in. 154 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,930 I hope that's okay. Is that all right? 155 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,266 Yes. 156 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,893 - Okay, great. - Yeah, of course. 157 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,603 I appreciate it. Thank you. 158 00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,146 {\an8}That's, um, really kind of you. Thanks. 159 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,273 {\an8}- "Some pig." - "Some pig"? 160 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,151 No, that says "believe." Believe. 161 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,611 I'm reading him Charlotte's Web. 162 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,280 He's only four. He's... he's not quite reading yet, bless him. 163 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,782 I was reading when I was two. 164 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,994 You look like a husky. 165 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,246 Right, come on. 166 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,081 Not every sign says, "some pig", okay? 167 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,166 Did he just call me fat? 168 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,084 No, Coach, not at all. It... 169 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,670 What is wrong with this thing? 170 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,589 Hey, Gemma. 171 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,593 {\an8}Hi, uh, I'm sorry to even ask this. 172 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,053 {\an8}I'm up for an internship at this fancy law firm. 173 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,430 Kind of a big deal. 174 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,683 Anyway, I have an interview tomorrow but it means I'd be late for practice. 175 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,977 - Would it be okay if... - Yes. 176 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,277 Uh, Coach, are you saying you're okay with Gemma being late for practice tomorrow? 177 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,613 Yes. 178 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,073 Really? 179 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,699 Yeah. If Coach is cool, we're cool. 180 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,368 - Right? - So cool. 181 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,661 - Amazing. - Mmm. 182 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,828 Thank you. 183 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,081 Good luck. 184 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,668 - New sign? - Yes. 185 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,300 Still not sure that's the right place for it though, you know? 186 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,012 Hmm. 187 00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:30,028 Coach Roy! 188 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,366 Oh, that's a nice bit of kit there. 189 00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:35,950 Cheers. 190 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,995 Good that you're taking care of yourself. Always so important. 191 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,706 Otherwise, what are we? 192 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:42,790 I don't know. 193 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,128 Beasts, feral beasts. 194 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:47,921 Great. 195 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,558 What the fuck happened to this thing? 196 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,976 None of your business. 197 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,352 He's here. 198 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:06,314 He's there, he's every-fucking-where on a jazzy. 199 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,523 On a jazzy! How's the knee? 200 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,900 What do you want? 201 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,151 Yeah, no. Straight to business, love it. 202 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:15,865 So, I was upstairs with the brass, played an absolute blinder. 203 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,992 We are gonna get whatever you want next season. 204 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,620 - Okay. - You want more money? I got ya. 205 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,538 You want use of a PJ? I got ya. 206 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,958 You want an assistant to wax your gooch? 207 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,919 I have got you. 208 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,381 Why don't you have any chairs in here? 209 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,592 So people don't fucking stay. 210 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:38,763 You're hilarious. 211 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,932 Sorry to interrupt. 212 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:41,849 Hello, love. 213 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,102 I'm out. I'll speak to you soon, handsome. 214 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,108 He's kind of a dick, you know? 215 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,152 - Oh, I know. - Then why do you work with him? 216 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,820 He's a dick, so I don't have to be. 217 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:55,864 Well, you can be a dick. 218 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,074 Yeah, but that's different. 219 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,284 - What do you need? - It's official. 220 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,537 Chelsea wants to put you on their wall of legends. 221 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,039 Sounds like a pretty big honor. 222 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,499 Sounds like a fucking nightmare. 223 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,084 Roy, I have a lot going on. 224 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,293 Can we just skip the part where you pretend 225 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,796 a room full of people celebrating you is the worst fucking thing in the world? 226 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,297 But it is. 227 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,924 It... 228 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,467 You are hilarious, aren't you? 229 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:19,053 - What do you want from me? - I don't know, maybe a thank you? 230 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,972 All right. Thank you for making a nightmare. 231 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:23,058 Wow. What about, "I'll be there"? 232 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,353 Hello, you. 233 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,521 Sorry to interrupt. 234 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,022 - Hi. - Hi. 235 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:34,944 Uh, Erin, this is Keeley Jones, our head of marketing and nightmares. 236 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,320 Hello. 237 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,364 - We-We met in the hospital. - Yeah. 238 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,824 Not that you'll remember, of course. 239 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,450 Oh, no, I was off my nut. 240 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,952 Yeah. 241 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,370 I'm gonna leave you guys. Here's your nightmare. 242 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,372 If you have any questions, give me a shout, yeah? 243 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,707 - It's lovely to see you. - Bye. 244 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,293 Cheers, Keeley. 245 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,087 - Hello. - Hello. 246 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,172 Thank you for making a house call. 247 00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:56,508 - I didn't. It's an office. - Hmm. 248 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,218 How's the knee? 249 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:05,933 Hmm? 250 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,227 - Better now. - Good. 251 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,814 What the fuck was her problem? 252 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:15,651 If what Derrick says is true, we're in a bit of a pickle. 253 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:19,322 Oh, Leslie, please, why would we ever believe him? 254 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,240 That man is full of shit. 255 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,911 Who is full of shit? I hate him already. 256 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,204 Zelda. 257 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,956 - What a nice surprise. - Yeah. Surprises are wonderful. 258 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,626 You know, surprise visits, surprise parties, 259 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,878 surprise non-visits at parties. 260 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,839 Right, I am so sorry that I missed your boat party. 261 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,258 I had every intention of being there. 262 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,761 No, apologize to your team, maybe. 263 00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:44,555 I mean, I think they were heartbroken you jilted them. 264 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:47,558 They were. But you never have to apologize to me. 265 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,019 It's water under the party boat under the bridge, 266 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,938 and to prove it, I've just stopped by actually 267 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,315 to give you and Keeley your swag bags. 268 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,192 - Oh, my God. Thank you so much. - Here. 269 00:12:56,193 --> 00:13:00,029 Your team left all theirs behind too, so I donated them all to a women's shelter. 270 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,615 - Yeah. - Oh, right. 271 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,408 Jalapeño-infused cognac. 272 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,452 Yes, it's nicey and spicy. 273 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,206 A marble spatula. 274 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,792 I will not prepare crab cakes without one of those now. 275 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,920 Women in the shelter must have been... thrilled. 276 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,088 Yeah, they were. 277 00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:19,674 Well, Julie and I both loved our bags. 278 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,758 Good. Good, yeah, 279 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,969 there was different stuff in the men's bags and the women's, right? 280 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,263 Yes. 281 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,931 Oh, no, that was in all the bags. 282 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:29,767 Yes, we both got one of those, 283 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:33,397 but we can't use it unfortunately because we no longer have a dog. 284 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,151 Uh... 285 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:40,570 Well, thank you. 286 00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:43,030 - Good. - Excellent. 287 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,701 Actually, I was... I was going to 288 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:50,580 talk to you about me coming on in a professional capacity. 289 00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:54,500 You know, offering my services, pro bono, of course. 290 00:13:54,501 --> 00:14:00,174 Um, I don't know, maybe I can help out with that person that is a piece of shit. 291 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:06,179 Well, uh, it would appear we have an unscrupulous agent... 292 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,513 - Ugh. - In our midst. 293 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,682 My favorite snack. 294 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,059 Tell me all about it. 295 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,905 Okay. 296 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:29,660 Gemma, we cannot teach 2v1 defending if you keep scoring on your two defenders. 297 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,078 Let's do 3v1 then. 298 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,413 No, we're not gonna... 299 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,877 Yes. Okay, let's... 3v1. 300 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,837 Let's do that, then. Good. 301 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,632 Defenders, three lines. 302 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,178 What are three words you would use to describe me? 303 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,097 You got any ideas, Arch? 304 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,266 Strong. 305 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,435 Yeah, I got you. 306 00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,063 Okay, strong. 307 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,022 You got two more, bud? 308 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,775 Poopy butts. 309 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,485 That is indeed two more words, 310 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,986 and while not exactly what I'm looking for, 311 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,488 I am sincerely impressed. 312 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,366 - That's Ted tax. All right. - Yes. 313 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,870 I'll check you later, man. Thanks for the help. 314 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,834 Coach, can I train barefoot today? 315 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:20,586 I think it might help, you know, like when runners train on sand. 316 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,880 - Yes. - Coach, can I wear a blindfold? 317 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,216 I wanna be able to sense the ball instead of having to see it. 318 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,843 Yes. 319 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,886 Coach, should I stand Niamh's position 320 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,805 - to show her how it's actually done? - Yes. 321 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,933 Take a fucking day off, for your own sake. 322 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,602 Hey, Coach, you got a sec? 323 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,604 Yes. 324 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,401 So, look, I appreciate everything I see you doing today, 325 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:45,611 but I just want to remind you it's okay to say no. 326 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:49,532 Heck, if human beings never said "no," we'd all have a time-share in Maui 327 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,409 and be members of the Church of Latter-day Saints, you know? 328 00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,828 Or be stuck in a 28-year gym membership, which I am. 329 00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:57,707 I am just trying to open a new pathway to life... 330 00:15:57,708 --> 00:16:00,501 - Mm-hmm. - Or, uh, coaching or whatever. 331 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,337 I hear ya. I just think you might need a bit more than "yes," you know what I mean? 332 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,964 - No. - Oh, okay. 333 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,841 Well, uh, back in college, 334 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:09,302 when, you know, Beard and I were, uh, playing football. 335 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:11,804 You know, the kind you play with your hands with the whole... that thing. 336 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,931 You know, the spikes and all that, and the head trauma. 337 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,475 Uh, we had this real avant-garde head coach. 338 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,561 I mean, this fellow loved thinking outside the bun. 339 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,564 A-And that's a famous slogan from a Taco Bell commercial 340 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,691 in the early 21st century and something he'd totally say, right? 341 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,651 Old Scooter Bollards. 342 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,696 Anyways, he thought our team's play style was a little too rigid 343 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,615 and he wanted us to be more open, so you know what he did? 344 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,116 Humiliated you all in front of each other? 345 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,577 He had the whole team take an improv comedy class. 346 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,786 Oh, so the same thing. 347 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,538 And it was in that improv class 348 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:41,417 that Coach and I learned a very specific, powerful phrase that goes like... 349 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,502 "Yes and", baby. 350 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:43,711 What is "Yes and baby"? 351 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,172 Well, the "baby" is just... not... it's not really part of it. 352 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,673 - Just my trademark flourish. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 353 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,509 Uh, but the idea behind it is that 354 00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:52,303 whatever someone throws at you, you say yes to it. 355 00:16:52,304 --> 00:16:54,263 You accept it, like you've been doing out here today. 356 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,767 But then if you want to add to it, you say "and," right? 357 00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,061 So the idea is that "yes" opens up the door, 358 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,564 but "and," well, that allows people to walk right on through it. 359 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:06,275 The art of collaboration, Sun Tzu's hidden manuscript. 360 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,735 Mmm. 361 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,820 Coach, can we have a water break? 362 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,282 Yes, and... 363 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,037 last five back on the pitch have to run sprints. 364 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,085 Fuck me. 365 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,838 - I love "Yes and baby." - Mm-hmm. 366 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,714 You know, Coach, you can follow your own advice 367 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,802 and go "and" whatever it is your mind's been saying yes to today. 368 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,554 Y'all okay with that? 369 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,349 Yes, and we will be fine. 370 00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,644 Okay. All right, have at it. 371 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:47,484 I got my friend to call my gym and tell them I was dead. 372 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,070 They still charged me for six months, but it did work. 373 00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,113 I love that for you. 374 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,907 That fucking Chelsea thing's gonna happen. 375 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,576 Keeley's got it all set up. 376 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,995 She's being right moody about it though. 377 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:01,289 I mean, it's my fucking thing, innit? 378 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:04,375 Like, her job is handle all the details. 379 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,669 I'm the one that has to make a dumb fucking speech. 380 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,963 And I'm not even being difficult about it. 381 00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:11,507 And she knows it's not exactly my favorite sort of thing to do, 382 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:12,550 but I am doing it. 383 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:16,262 She's making it so much harder than it needs to be. 384 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,848 Also, has she done something different with her hair? 385 00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:21,392 It's like, she's not doing me a fucking favor. 386 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,144 - It's her job... - Okay. 387 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,272 So these are going to need changing. Every day. 388 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:30,026 And I think it's time we let the scooter go. 389 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,611 Only crutches from now on. 390 00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:32,696 Oh. 391 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,698 But I love Black Beauty. 392 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:36,991 I can give her a good home. 393 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:38,952 Black Beauty is a boy. 394 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,747 I don't buy it. 395 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:48,794 Come in. 396 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,922 - Hey, Keeley. - Hi, Ted. 397 00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,592 - Hello, Trixiebelle. - What's going on? 398 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,636 Well, uh, this is a little bit awkward, 399 00:18:56,637 --> 00:19:00,765 but, uh, my New Year's resolution was to ask someone out on a date, and... 400 00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:03,392 Oh, Ted, Ted. I'm flattered, but I think that... 401 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,520 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. - Oh. No. 402 00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:07,271 No, no. I... I just came in for a little advice. 403 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,315 Oh. 404 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:12,568 - Ooh, can you imagine? - Ooh, I mean, we're coworkers. 405 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,904 That wouldn't be appropriate, you know. 406 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,906 Even though it does have a tendency to happen a lot around here, don't it? 407 00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:18,991 Yeah, it does. 408 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,453 I... I'm not sure I'm the best person to be giving dating advice right now. 409 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,622 Well, you know, I'm just looking for a little help 410 00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:26,123 setting up my profile on bantr. 411 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,835 - Ooh. - I-I can't get past one of the questions. 412 00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,253 Which one? 413 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:31,671 The first one. 414 00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,089 A-ha. 415 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,841 - I would love to help. - Great. 416 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,384 You wanna get cozy on the couch? 417 00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:37,761 - Yes, ma'am. Yeah. - Yeah. 418 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,389 - Okay. Uh, here you go. - Thank you. 419 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:42,766 - Yeah. - Okay. 420 00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,309 "Describe yourself in three words." 421 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,311 Mm-hmm. Yeah, so right there, right off the bat. 422 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:50,231 You know, anything that pops in my head just feels, uh, obnoxious, 423 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,191 like I'm tooting my own horn. 424 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,235 Sure, like you're riding the self-centered express? 425 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:57,363 Exactly, and it's going, "Toot, toot, all aboard. 426 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,574 Next stop, Me-York City." 427 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,617 And it's just, it feels like I'm bragging, and I don't know. 428 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:03,953 No, I get it. Why don't we come back to that one? 429 00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:07,582 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, let's start with something easier. 430 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,417 - Okay. - Are you currently employed? 431 00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:10,877 - No. - Yeah... 432 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:11,961 Ted, you're a coach! 433 00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:13,713 Yeah, but I always felt that if you do what you love, 434 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,006 you never work a day in your life, so... 435 00:20:15,007 --> 00:20:16,132 That's really lovely. 436 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,301 - But I think we should go with "Yes." - You're the expert. 437 00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:22,556 - Height? - 6'1" or 900 centimeters, I don't know. 438 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:24,932 - Location? - I mean, that changes all the time. 439 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:26,017 I'd hate to mislead anyone. 440 00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,727 - Can you just put "Here"? - Pronouns? 441 00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:30,771 I'm pronouns, pro-verbs, pro anything that helps you get your point across. 442 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,065 - Sexual orientation? - Mmm. 443 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,693 Probably the three standard positions. 444 00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:36,569 Ethnicity? 445 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,154 White as heck. 446 00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:40,948 But I have been told by buddies that I played ball with back in college 447 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,825 that I have a standing invite to the cookout. 448 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,494 - Education level. - Mmm. Ongoing. 449 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,954 "Company/industry." 450 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,539 I've never seen Industry, 451 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,500 but I saw a great production of Company once. 452 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:53,044 Really knocked my socks off, and it's tough to beat Sondheim. 453 00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:54,504 Do you want or have children? 454 00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:56,422 I do have a child. His name is Henry. 455 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,216 He is 12, and yes, I do want him. 456 00:20:58,217 --> 00:21:01,177 Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs? 457 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:03,930 Well, I've smoked cigarettes four times in my life, 458 00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:05,264 - dipped tobacco once. - Oh. 459 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,349 Uh, I do drink, 460 00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,935 and the only drugs I've done have come from the Earth, 461 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,563 although they have afforded me the opportunity to go well beyond it. 462 00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,690 - Zodiac sign? - I guess my sign would say, 463 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,025 "You must see this movie." 464 00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,235 Pet peeves? 465 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,654 That we get to choose them and they don't have a say in the matter, I guess. 466 00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,614 - Typical Sunday? - Similar to a Good Friday, 467 00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:23,407 but without anybody getting murdered by the government. 468 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,826 - My most controversial opinion? - Nice try. 469 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,871 The one thing you should know about me is? 470 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,456 That I am more than one thing. 471 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,291 Believe it or not, I... 472 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,001 ♪ I'm walking on air ♪ 473 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:38,297 ♪ I never thought I could feel so free ♪ 474 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:42,093 ♪ Flying away on a wing and a prayer ♪ 475 00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:45,304 ♪ Who could it be? ♪ 476 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:47,306 ♪ Believe it or not, it's just... ♪ 477 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,392 - Do you like to run? - Only when being chased. 478 00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:50,685 What is your attachment style? 479 00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:51,811 USB-C. 480 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,396 Three favorite emojis are? 481 00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:54,647 Fingers crossed. 482 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:55,899 Uh, this guy right here. 483 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,567 And probably this guy. 484 00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,485 The world would be better with more? 485 00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:00,903 Female US presidents. 486 00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,738 Best piece of advice you ever received? 487 00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:04,615 - Duck. - The quickest way to my heart. 488 00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:07,410 Directly through my sternum. You know, just, bam. 489 00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:09,996 Are you more rational or emotional? 490 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:11,581 Oh, definitely rational. 491 00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:13,499 Okay. 492 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,043 Hey, this is supposed to be fun, Ted. 493 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,545 - It is fun. I'm sorry, but... - Okay. 494 00:22:17,546 --> 00:22:19,298 - I am just, like... - Whoa. 495 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,091 Come on, having a good time. 496 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:23,176 This is great. 497 00:22:23,177 --> 00:22:24,594 I really appreciate your help. 498 00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:26,387 You sure you can pull this off? 499 00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,306 Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as there's no surprises, 500 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:31,100 we just got to stay cool, calm and collected. 501 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,435 - Mm-hmm. - All right? 502 00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:34,187 - Sure. - Let's rock. 503 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,191 Oh, shit, shit, shit, I've gotta have an assistant. 504 00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:40,693 - What? Oh, no. No, no, no. - Be my assistant. Gotta be American. 505 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:41,862 DT Sports, talk to me. 506 00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,197 Hello? 507 00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:46,158 Mr. Tarp, it's Crystal. 508 00:22:47,034 --> 00:22:48,451 Crystal Christopher. 509 00:22:48,452 --> 00:22:51,704 Calling from Chicago Fire FC. How are you today, sir? 510 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:55,666 It's USA... home of the dollar sign. I am listening. 511 00:22:57,169 --> 00:23:01,380 So, I'm calling from the office of our player recruitment officer... 512 00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,507 Call me, uh, Dolly. 513 00:23:02,508 --> 00:23:04,551 Dolly Parton... berg. 514 00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:07,512 Please hold. 515 00:23:07,513 --> 00:23:10,097 Do some hold music. Hold it. 516 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:12,767 ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪ 517 00:23:12,768 --> 00:23:15,269 ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪ 518 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:22,276 Please continue to hold. 519 00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:24,695 Your call is important to us. 520 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:29,701 One of our operators will be with you as soon as possible. 521 00:23:31,537 --> 00:23:34,789 Derrick Tarp, you son of a bitch. 522 00:23:34,790 --> 00:23:38,000 I haven't heard your name since the Panama Papers came out. 523 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:39,378 How ya doin'? 524 00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:41,462 Dolly Partonberg? 525 00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,548 It's been ages, sugar tits. 526 00:23:43,549 --> 00:23:45,049 I've missed you. 527 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,677 Okay, here's the 411, you cocksucker. 528 00:23:47,678 --> 00:23:51,305 What's it gonna take to get Dani Rojas in the Windy City next year? 529 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,349 We know he's under contract to... 530 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,394 What is it? Uh, AFC Richfield? 531 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:58,271 - Richmond. - Oh, yeah, Richmond. 532 00:23:58,272 --> 00:24:01,232 Duh, Dolly, that's next to Wimpleton, right? 533 00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:03,985 Well, I'm sure Dani would love to hear what you have to say. 534 00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:05,570 Fuck yeah, bro. 535 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:07,405 But, hey, we don't want to step on anyone's toes. 536 00:24:07,406 --> 00:24:09,574 So, you know, if there's any other teams 537 00:24:09,575 --> 00:24:12,660 in the, uh, English League that are after him, you know, 538 00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:14,620 we're not going to get in the way. 539 00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:16,790 You don't know anybody over here, I take it? 540 00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:18,584 Just Guy Ritchie. 541 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,586 His work, I mean. 542 00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:24,630 'Cause you should know we did get an offer from Newcastle. 543 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:26,007 I fucking knew it. 544 00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:27,091 Newcastle? 545 00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:30,761 Hey, I thought you guys only had old castles over there. 546 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,056 Yeah, no, they're like the Chicago 547 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,100 - of the northeast. - Okay, talk later. Okay, bye. 548 00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:37,852 Wait, we only just started talking. What are you talking... 549 00:24:37,853 --> 00:24:40,396 God. 550 00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:43,941 Hey. The director of football at Newcastle used to be at City, 551 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,109 and he plays clarinet 552 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:47,486 for the Directors of Beboperations. 553 00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:48,696 Excellent, Leslie. 554 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:52,200 - Leslie, how's it swinging, Daddy-o? - Actually, Vinai... 555 00:24:52,201 --> 00:24:54,702 I'm-I'm with some colleagues. This is a work call. 556 00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:57,580 Apologies for my liberal use of jazz speak. 557 00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:59,415 Of course. How can I help you? 558 00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:01,250 Vinai? Hello, there. 559 00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:06,547 Did you reach out to Dani Rojas's agent without consulting us first? 560 00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:09,550 I would never do such a thing, and I resent the insinuation. 561 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,011 Wow. Derrick Tarp wasn't insinuating... 562 00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:13,596 I don't have to do this voice anymore. 563 00:25:13,597 --> 00:25:16,766 Derrick Tarp wasn't insinuating, he was practically just declaring. 564 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:18,976 Then he's a liar, a liar. 565 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:21,521 I will report him to the FA immediately. 566 00:25:21,522 --> 00:25:23,564 Thanks, cool cat. That's a relief. 567 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,649 Meow. 568 00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:27,903 Wow. Great work, guys. 569 00:25:30,364 --> 00:25:32,657 All right, let's move on to our seven a side. 570 00:25:32,658 --> 00:25:34,159 First 11 and subs. Let's go. 571 00:25:34,660 --> 00:25:37,411 And, Gemma, I need you to focus on the left wing. 572 00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:39,206 You practically ignored it in the last match. 573 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:40,707 Got it? 574 00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:45,128 Got it. 575 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,886 Coach, can I get in on this? 576 00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:02,396 Yes. 577 00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:06,357 And remember, you know what to do. 578 00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:07,484 So don't overthink it. 579 00:26:08,277 --> 00:26:11,279 Be quick, don't hurry, and attack without hesitation. 580 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,030 - Got it? - Absolutely, Coach. 581 00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,032 All right. Prove it. 582 00:26:20,873 --> 00:26:22,541 All right, play from Boots. 583 00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:28,129 Get ready. 584 00:26:32,259 --> 00:26:33,927 Guys! Guys! 585 00:26:37,431 --> 00:26:38,639 Go on then. 586 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,933 Whoa! Whoa! 587 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:42,226 Nice. 588 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:44,729 Oi. You're making me look bad. Easy. 589 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:46,439 Easy. That was good though. 590 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,276 Shannon... pass was a little late, but perfect decision. 591 00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:51,737 Julia in for Shannon. 592 00:26:55,866 --> 00:26:56,867 Nice job. 593 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:04,248 "And I think it'd be real neat if I found a gal who likes show tunes. 594 00:27:04,249 --> 00:27:05,791 But not all of them, of course. 595 00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,293 Only the bangers, and"... 596 00:27:07,294 --> 00:27:10,671 Um, then we reached the character limit that you can use 597 00:27:10,672 --> 00:27:13,175 to keep describing your ideal partner. 598 00:27:13,759 --> 00:27:15,427 Did you spell show tunes with one word? 599 00:27:15,928 --> 00:27:18,179 Uh, yeah, I did. 600 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,181 Shoot. 601 00:27:19,973 --> 00:27:22,809 You know what, I'm starting to think I may skew a bit loquacious. 602 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,103 I think you could make some trims. 603 00:27:25,646 --> 00:27:27,856 Then I shall take the time to write a shorter letter. 604 00:27:28,357 --> 00:27:29,440 Great. 605 00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:33,320 And when you're done, all that's left is to describe yourself in three words. 606 00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:35,280 Click activate. 607 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:37,823 And off you go. 608 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,116 Great. 609 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:41,160 Thank you, Keeley. I really appreciate your help. 610 00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:42,328 Oh, it's been my pleasure. 611 00:27:42,329 --> 00:27:45,082 - Well, let me get out of your hair. - Okay. 612 00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:48,793 Oh, Ted, remember, when you're thinking about those three words, 613 00:27:48,794 --> 00:27:51,380 loving yourself isn't the same as bragging about yourself. 614 00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:53,841 Hmm. 615 00:27:54,424 --> 00:27:56,468 Hopeful, resilient and kind. 616 00:27:57,970 --> 00:27:58,971 I mean... 617 00:27:59,555 --> 00:28:01,723 those are the perfect words to describe you. 618 00:28:02,307 --> 00:28:03,559 No, I was describing you. 619 00:28:06,228 --> 00:28:08,522 Keep your head up, Keeley, and your heart open. 620 00:28:17,489 --> 00:28:18,782 Shitty men. 621 00:28:19,283 --> 00:28:20,993 Sometimes I pity them. 622 00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:24,579 - Why? - Because they're scorpions. 623 00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:28,666 They're just scorpions who invite innocent, gullible frogs 624 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:32,170 to take them across the river, and then they just sting them anyway. 625 00:28:32,171 --> 00:28:34,046 And they all drown, you know. 626 00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:36,925 'Cause that's what they do, the dumb pricks. 627 00:28:37,718 --> 00:28:39,218 Bless 'em. 628 00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:40,721 They're scorpions. 629 00:28:41,722 --> 00:28:43,347 Are we the frogs in this parable? 630 00:28:43,348 --> 00:28:45,975 Until we realize we don't have to be. 631 00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:50,438 Well, I would rather build a bridge than have to carry a scorpion. 632 00:28:50,439 --> 00:28:52,107 Hmm. 633 00:28:56,236 --> 00:28:59,655 Hmm. That's round, isn't it? 634 00:28:59,656 --> 00:29:01,033 - Mmm. Yeah. - Ooh, my nose. 635 00:29:01,617 --> 00:29:03,242 - It worked! - What worked? 636 00:29:03,243 --> 00:29:04,535 Just got this from Derrick. 637 00:29:04,536 --> 00:29:07,121 "On second thought, don't worry about Dani. 638 00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:09,999 He's happier than he looks, and Roy won't be a problem." 639 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,959 Success! 640 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,085 And fast! 641 00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:15,963 That's what we freaking do. Da Bears. 642 00:29:15,964 --> 00:29:17,548 I don't know what that means. 643 00:29:17,549 --> 00:29:18,883 But Zelda Southport, 644 00:29:18,884 --> 00:29:22,386 I hereby offer you the official title of Special Adviser here at AFC Richmond. 645 00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:23,513 Whoa. 646 00:29:23,514 --> 00:29:26,182 Oh, you can call me whatever you want, Rebecca Welton. 647 00:29:26,183 --> 00:29:29,143 You keep building those bridges, and I'll keep guarding them. 648 00:29:29,144 --> 00:29:31,562 Wow... this is great news. 649 00:29:31,563 --> 00:29:33,273 What news? 650 00:29:33,982 --> 00:29:37,361 Zelda has just accepted an official role here at the club. 651 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:40,196 That's amazing! Welcome! 652 00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:43,574 Are you guys okay? 653 00:29:43,575 --> 00:29:45,576 It's the jalapeño, isn't it? Yeah. 654 00:29:45,577 --> 00:29:46,827 It's so strong. 655 00:29:46,828 --> 00:29:49,622 - Quite nice. - It's painful! 656 00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:50,998 - I'm in pain. - Oh no. 657 00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:52,625 - Gotta get it out... - Okay. 658 00:29:52,626 --> 00:29:53,960 If I drink some more it might help actually. 659 00:29:53,961 --> 00:29:55,462 Yeah, let's drink some more. Mmm. 660 00:29:55,963 --> 00:29:57,880 No, no, no. It's worse. 661 00:29:57,881 --> 00:29:59,632 Oh. 662 00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:01,175 - You should have some. It's good. - Have some. 663 00:30:01,176 --> 00:30:02,260 No. 664 00:30:03,846 --> 00:30:05,054 This is nice, isn't it? 665 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,181 Just the three of us. 666 00:30:06,765 --> 00:30:08,475 - You can go now. - Absolutely. 667 00:30:09,685 --> 00:30:12,979 - Right, well, my work here is done. - Thank you. 668 00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:16,774 You and your frighteningly keen physio can get you back up and running again. 669 00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:20,070 - This is goodbye. - Right. 670 00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:22,698 Wait, what? 671 00:30:23,907 --> 00:30:25,825 Look, I can fix your knee. 672 00:30:25,826 --> 00:30:27,034 But I can't fix your heart. 673 00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:29,161 And I have this hunch that if I stick around here any longer, 674 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:30,496 you're gonna end up breaking mine. 675 00:30:30,497 --> 00:30:31,999 What are you talking about? 676 00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:34,500 I don't wanna hurt you, I like you. 677 00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,836 I like you. 678 00:30:36,712 --> 00:30:38,254 But you're in love with someone else. 679 00:30:38,255 --> 00:30:39,506 What? 680 00:30:40,174 --> 00:30:41,175 That... 681 00:30:41,675 --> 00:30:42,676 That's... 682 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,221 F-Fuck. 683 00:30:51,059 --> 00:30:54,187 Look, there is... I just... One question. 684 00:30:54,188 --> 00:30:57,315 - Um, why? - Why what? 685 00:30:57,316 --> 00:30:59,358 Well, why-why did this happen? 686 00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:01,028 - What? Us? - Mm-hmm. 687 00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:04,198 Well... 688 00:31:05,157 --> 00:31:07,408 Keeley... You know who Keeley is? 689 00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:09,160 Yes, yeah, I know Keeley. 690 00:31:09,161 --> 00:31:10,745 She wanted me to date other women. 691 00:31:10,746 --> 00:31:11,747 Why? 692 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,084 She said that I needed to learn to fully see someone 693 00:31:17,085 --> 00:31:19,046 and to let them fully see me. 694 00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:20,547 For real. 695 00:31:21,131 --> 00:31:23,925 What? So-So I was just part of some experiment then? 696 00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:26,469 No, you were not part of my plan. 697 00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:29,514 My plan was date a bunch of women real quick, 698 00:31:29,515 --> 00:31:30,765 nothing happens, no feelings, 699 00:31:30,766 --> 00:31:32,809 get out and tell her I've done it. 700 00:31:35,062 --> 00:31:36,312 But then I met you. 701 00:31:36,313 --> 00:31:38,315 Mmm. I wasn't enough. 702 00:31:39,483 --> 00:31:40,859 Are you kidding me? 703 00:31:41,652 --> 00:31:42,777 You're a fucking captain. 704 00:31:42,778 --> 00:31:46,030 Is that an insult? 705 00:31:46,031 --> 00:31:47,366 No. 706 00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:49,493 All right, look, 707 00:31:50,077 --> 00:31:53,205 on a football team, captain has three jobs. 708 00:31:53,997 --> 00:31:56,416 Make sure everyone's heading towards the same goal. 709 00:31:56,917 --> 00:31:58,876 Stand up for what's right. 710 00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:01,045 And put the well-being of others before yourself. 711 00:32:01,046 --> 00:32:02,255 Mmm. 712 00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:05,467 You have to be able to hold the center. 713 00:32:07,177 --> 00:32:09,428 The way you are with your patients, 714 00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:11,139 the way you are with your friends, 715 00:32:12,057 --> 00:32:13,183 the way you've been with me... 716 00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:17,854 You're a captain. 717 00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:22,609 I see you. 718 00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:25,571 I see you too. 719 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:28,991 And I need you to know, 720 00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:34,371 you are so worthy of being with the person that you love. 721 00:32:42,796 --> 00:32:44,339 Goodbye, Coach Kent. 722 00:32:49,303 --> 00:32:50,554 Thank you, Dr. Beaumont. 723 00:32:51,180 --> 00:32:52,514 It's my pleasure. 724 00:33:06,069 --> 00:33:08,571 I thought she'd never leave. 725 00:33:08,572 --> 00:33:11,450 You and I need to have a chat about boundaries. 726 00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:13,660 I'm gonna give you a minute. 727 00:33:24,046 --> 00:33:26,840 - Have a lovely day, Keeley. - Yeah, you too. 728 00:33:32,888 --> 00:33:34,639 "Charlotte stopped. 729 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,266 A moment later, a tear came to Wilbur's eye. 730 00:33:37,267 --> 00:33:38,851 'Oh, Charlotte, ' he said. 731 00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:42,314 'To think that when I first met you, I thought you were cruel and bloodthirsty.' 732 00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:45,317 When he recovered from his emotions, he spoke again. 733 00:33:45,817 --> 00:33:47,860 'Why did you do all this for me?' He asked. 734 00:33:47,861 --> 00:33:50,781 'I don't deserve it. I have never done anything for you.' 735 00:33:52,157 --> 00:33:54,992 'You have been my friend, ' replied Charlotte. 736 00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:58,038 'That in itself is a tremendous thing.'" 737 00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:02,417 Pull it together, man. 738 00:34:04,878 --> 00:34:06,338 Thanks, man. 739 00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:12,052 Hey, Coach. Where's the sign? 740 00:34:19,184 --> 00:34:21,477 "I wove my webs for you because I liked you. 741 00:34:21,478 --> 00:34:23,938 After all, what's a life anyway? 742 00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:26,900 We're born, we live a little while, we die." 743 00:34:29,069 --> 00:34:30,486 Hey, Coach, what is that? 744 00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:32,738 It is a sign that says, "Believe." 745 00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,616 Uh... I don't get it. 746 00:34:35,117 --> 00:34:36,617 Uh, well, there's nothing to get. 747 00:34:36,618 --> 00:34:38,369 Just, um, believe. 748 00:34:38,370 --> 00:34:40,079 - In what? - That's it? 749 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,373 That's all we're getting? 750 00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:42,999 Hey, Ted, 751 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,502 look, I don't mean to be a dick, but I think we already believe enough. 752 00:34:46,503 --> 00:34:48,921 We wouldn't be playing for a second division football club 753 00:34:48,922 --> 00:34:50,756 getting paid peanuts if we didn't believe. 754 00:34:50,757 --> 00:34:51,841 Right. No, I get you. 755 00:34:51,842 --> 00:34:53,426 - Yeah. - Well, she's got a point, gaffer. 756 00:34:53,427 --> 00:34:56,470 I mean, it's a very nice idea, but "believe" isn't gonna help me 757 00:34:56,471 --> 00:34:57,930 when I need someone to look after the kids 758 00:34:57,931 --> 00:34:59,515 while I'm here and training with you lot, is it? 759 00:34:59,516 --> 00:35:01,101 - No, of course. - Oh, speaking of. 760 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,273 Yeah, believing is not gonna get me six extra hours a day 761 00:35:07,274 --> 00:35:09,400 so I can play football and go to school. 762 00:35:09,401 --> 00:35:10,484 - No, it is not. - Nope. 763 00:35:10,485 --> 00:35:14,363 I'd love to believe that the landlord isn't going to raise our rent, but... 764 00:35:14,364 --> 00:35:17,408 Believe me, that rat bastard's gonna do it. 765 00:35:17,409 --> 00:35:19,243 Language. There's a kid. 766 00:35:19,244 --> 00:35:21,537 - I'm sorry. - No, I get it. I get it. 767 00:35:21,538 --> 00:35:24,415 Yeah, I just have to believe that my car will fix itself 768 00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:26,959 or... or just believe that a lovely millionaire 769 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,878 will come along and buy me a Porsche. 770 00:35:30,839 --> 00:35:31,923 That'd be nice, right? 771 00:35:31,924 --> 00:35:35,301 Hey, Ted, isn't the "Believe" sign in the men's locker room as well? 772 00:35:35,302 --> 00:35:37,094 Uh, yeah, no, they got one in there. 773 00:35:37,095 --> 00:35:39,639 - Why? - Yeah, they've had one for a while. 774 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,141 I feel like there should be a differentiation between the two. 775 00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:43,893 - It's a hand-me-down. - Is that the same one? 776 00:35:43,894 --> 00:35:45,353 Or did we get a new one? 777 00:35:46,855 --> 00:35:48,689 You can't copy and paste it, man. 778 00:35:48,690 --> 00:35:52,109 Alice, you know, the men already have one of those signs. 779 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,445 Do we really need one too? 780 00:35:54,154 --> 00:35:57,574 Yes, and we just have to make it our own. 781 00:36:08,001 --> 00:36:10,127 - "And win." - What the fuck? 782 00:36:12,589 --> 00:36:14,799 - Can you say... say that again for Mummy? - And win. 783 00:36:17,928 --> 00:36:19,178 He's-He's read that. 784 00:36:21,431 --> 00:36:24,350 - You can read! - You're a genius! 785 00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:25,476 Oh, my God! 786 00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:27,728 Believe and win! 787 00:36:27,729 --> 00:36:32,692 Believe and win! 788 00:36:32,693 --> 00:36:34,485 Believe and win! 789 00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:37,489 Believe and win! Believe and win! 790 00:36:38,323 --> 00:36:39,782 Believe and win! 791 00:38:05,202 --> 00:38:08,163 Oi! Can you please stop doing that? 792 00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:11,249 It's you. 793 00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:12,626 Hey, how you doing? 794 00:38:13,168 --> 00:38:16,796 Yeah, I'm, uh... I'm good. 795 00:38:16,797 --> 00:38:19,674 You do realize that it's still bad luck to whistle in a theater? 796 00:38:19,675 --> 00:38:21,968 No, I... Yeah, I apologize. I-I do remember. 797 00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:23,803 Uh, it just... you know, the first time we met, 798 00:38:23,804 --> 00:38:25,221 I never got your name. 799 00:38:25,222 --> 00:38:27,765 So I thought the easiest way to get your attention might be to, uh... 800 00:38:27,766 --> 00:38:29,309 To call for me like a dog? 801 00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:32,436 Mmm. Didn't think of it that way. 802 00:38:32,437 --> 00:38:33,479 You know what? I'm sorry about that. 803 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,147 - No, I'm messing with you. - Oh. 804 00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:36,566 - I'm messing with you. - Okay. 805 00:38:36,567 --> 00:38:38,651 Did you, uh... Did you see the play? 806 00:38:38,652 --> 00:38:40,069 Uh, no, not tonight, no. 807 00:38:40,070 --> 00:38:42,864 Uh, but a little boy playing King Lear sounds very interesting. 808 00:38:42,865 --> 00:38:44,574 He's actually 35. 809 00:38:44,575 --> 00:38:46,701 Is he? I'll be darned. 810 00:38:46,702 --> 00:38:49,412 - Well, still younger than most, right? - Mm-mmm. 811 00:38:49,413 --> 00:38:50,789 Um, no, I'm... 812 00:38:51,498 --> 00:38:52,541 Came here to see you. 813 00:38:53,292 --> 00:38:55,418 - Oh. Right. - Yeah. 814 00:38:55,419 --> 00:38:56,503 Yeah, I was, um... 815 00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:58,714 I was wondering if... 816 00:39:00,632 --> 00:39:03,594 I was wondering if, uh, perhaps you would be, um... 817 00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:07,055 well, if you'd like to go out on a date with me sometime. 818 00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:12,603 I, um... 819 00:39:14,188 --> 00:39:16,814 I've... I've just started seeing someone, so... 820 00:39:16,815 --> 00:39:19,734 Oh, great. That's good. 821 00:39:19,735 --> 00:39:22,486 Hey, a lot of good folks out there, you know. 822 00:39:22,487 --> 00:39:25,698 Nice to know people are still bumping into each other and, you know. 823 00:39:25,699 --> 00:39:28,367 Well, we... we met on the apps. 824 00:39:28,368 --> 00:39:29,703 Oh, nice. 825 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:34,124 But, um, if I was single, I would... 826 00:39:35,334 --> 00:39:37,920 yeah, I-I would definitely go on a date with you. 827 00:39:39,296 --> 00:39:40,672 All right. 828 00:39:41,632 --> 00:39:44,426 - I better go back to work. - Okay, yeah, sure, I get it. 829 00:39:45,844 --> 00:39:47,763 It was nice to see you again, Ted. 830 00:39:49,598 --> 00:39:51,308 Nice to see you too. 831 00:39:54,478 --> 00:39:55,729 Shit.