1
00:00:02,656 --> 00:00:06,702
"WELCOME"

2
00:00:29,141 --> 00:00:33,145
HOLLYWOOD. The film capital
greater Los Angeles.

3
00:01:03,175 --> 00:01:07,012
“This poor woman is
incredibly pregnant. Let's give her a lift"

4
00:01:46,718 --> 00:01:52,391
:: N I E M E K I N O ::

5
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,370
Los Angeles Hospital

6
00:05:32,819 --> 00:05:35,405
"You bad boy!"

7
00:05:40,202 --> 00:05:42,913
MEL FUNNY, ONCE THE BEST OF HOLLYWOOD
DIRECTOR,...

8
00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:46,792
UNTIL ALCOHOL DESTROYED HIS LIFE,
HE WANTS TO RETURN TO THE PROFESSION.

9
00:05:49,127 --> 00:05:52,172
HE HAS A BRILLIANT IDEA FOR A NEW FILM

10
00:05:55,384 --> 00:06:01,098
"Gee, boss, I don't think it's Studio
agreed to a silent film in these times"

11
00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:06,979
"Maybe you're right"

12
00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:11,441
STUDIO WILEKI FILM

13
00:06:11,525 --> 00:06:14,695
IF IT'S GREAT, IT WOULD BE MADE HERE

14
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:31,920
"What about you?
Don't you know who I was?"

15
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,221
FUNNY, EGGY, BELL
STUDIO HEAD 4:30

16
00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:56,195
CURRENT STUDIO HEAD

17
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:36,735
"Sir! Mel Funny is coming."
"right to your office"

18
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:42,908
"But, sir,
Isn't it common knowledge that he..."

19
00:07:44,535 --> 00:07:45,577
"What?"

20
00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:55,420
Is he sucking his thumb???"

21
00:07:55,963 --> 00:07:58,215
GREAT MOVIE
Administration Building

22
00:08:09,518 --> 00:08:13,355
"If he buys the script, we'll go back
business. "wish me luck"

23
00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:33,417
"Faggots!"

24
00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:54,771
"Let's hope he succeeds.
I'm afraid that if he doesn't start drinking again

25
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:26,553
"Mary! Congratulations on your mother's marriage"

26
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,527
"So, boss?
How's business?"

27
00:09:44,488 --> 00:09:46,949
PROFITS

28
00:09:57,084 --> 00:10:00,337
IF BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH
THE STUDIO WILL NOT BRING PROFITS...

29
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:03,715
WILL BE TAKEN BY
THE EATER AND THE EATER.

30
00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:15,811
"He'll be fine.
It's the Devourer and the Devourer. They worry him."

31
00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:20,065
"Who are the Devourer and the Devourer?"

32
00:10:23,235 --> 00:10:26,989
"These are huge behemoths.
I want to take over the Studio"

33
00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:33,453
"Don't worry, Boss, I'll save the Studio!
I've got your next HIT here!

34
00:10:39,293 --> 00:10:43,046
"What is it? Musical? Romance? Western?"

35
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,304
"IT'S A SILENT FILM!"

36
00:11:01,565 --> 00:11:03,400
"What do you think???"

37
00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:10,073
"Are you crazy?
Silent Film in These Days and Ages?

38
00:11:16,246 --> 00:11:18,874
"Don't you know Klaps is DEAD"?

39
00:11:35,641 --> 00:11:39,102
"Where am I? Who am I?
Who orders veal cutlet?"

40
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:50,405
"Take your stupid script
and get out of here!"

41
00:12:05,462 --> 00:12:07,297
"I have a great idea!"

42
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:14,137
"What if we got the biggest stars?
Hollywood to star in this movie?"

43
00:12:26,984 --> 00:12:30,988
“Okay, Funny.
You take care of the Stars... then we have a deal"

44
00:12:37,995 --> 00:12:40,539
"Wait while I tell the boys.
FOLLOW YOURSELF!"

45
00:13:03,645 --> 00:13:06,148
Parisian TAILOR

46
00:13:07,691 --> 00:13:09,443
MADE TO MEASURE
LATEST TRENDS

47
00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:35,427
ACUPUNCTURE

48
00:14:01,161 --> 00:14:03,997
"Are you sure
"that Burt Reynolds lives on this street"?

49
00:15:14,359 --> 00:15:17,905
"Knock again.
This time I'll put my foot in the door"

50
00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:49,121
"Hi, Burt - I'd like to."
star in a silent film?

51
00:16:54,209 --> 00:16:55,544
"HELP!"

52
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:03,302
"Dzy�-Dzy�"

53
00:17:36,293 --> 00:17:40,797
"Hi, I have a gland problem.
Can I use the phone?"

54
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,601
"Of course. Please... watch your head"

55
00:18:27,886 --> 00:18:30,055
“Burt! Burt!
Is everything okay?"

56
00:18:34,935 --> 00:18:38,564
"So you probably don't want to be in a movie"

57
00:18:39,523 --> 00:18:40,899
"I WILL DO IT!"

58
00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:55,998
BUY THE LA DIARY

59
00:19:10,971 --> 00:19:15,058
BURT REYNOLDS INTERESTED IN SILENT FILM

60
00:19:17,311 --> 00:19:19,688
HAVING BURT REYNOLDS
FUNNY, JUNKING AND BELL...

61
00:19:19,771 --> 00:19:21,612
PREPARE FOR
ACQUIRING THE NEXT STAR

62
00:19:45,589 --> 00:19:48,008
"Hi! My name is Mel Funny,
and these are my partners.

63
00:19:48,091 --> 00:19:51,553
We would like to talk
about our new film"

64
00:19:59,061 --> 00:20:01,396
"Bla-bla-bla-bla!"

65
00:20:26,255 --> 00:20:29,174
"Sure, let's talk.
"This way"

66
00:20:49,862 --> 00:20:54,408
"Be careful. One of the springs is broken.
"This could be dangerous"

67
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:16,638
"Maybe we can have lunch together?
Take off your coat. "Slowly"

68
00:21:31,570 --> 00:21:34,281
"We'd better sit down.
"It's safer this way"

69
00:21:52,591 --> 00:21:54,510
"Melon?"

70
00:23:13,755 --> 00:23:14,882
"Faggots!"

71
00:23:39,239 --> 00:23:42,075
JAMES CAAN INTERESTED IN SILENT FILM

72
00:23:42,159 --> 00:23:45,662
The newspaper seller again
hit by a packet of newspapers.

73
00:24:05,349 --> 00:24:08,685
EATERS AND EATERS
WE HAVE OUR FINGERS IN EVERYTHING

74
00:24:26,578 --> 00:24:28,747
"Gentlemen, it's time for our morning prayer"

75
00:24:41,844 --> 00:24:44,304
“Oh Big Dollar
We raise our Prayers to you,

76
00:24:44,388 --> 00:24:46,890
because without you,
"We are the carcass"

77
00:24:59,653 --> 00:25:02,406
"Let the Western Division submit a report"

78
00:25:06,952 --> 00:25:08,996
"whisper... whisper... whisper"

79
00:25:10,122 --> 00:25:11,122
"What?"

80
00:25:11,874 --> 00:25:13,917
"whisper... whisper... whisper"

81
00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:15,793
"WHAT?"

82
00:25:16,712 --> 00:25:18,422
"YOU HAVE AN OPEN BIT!"

83
00:25:31,018 --> 00:25:35,230
"Okay, gentlemen,
What is your income for the first month?"

84
00:25:43,989 --> 00:25:46,617
"Nothing" "Nothing" "Nothing" "Nothing" "Nothing"

85
00:25:47,868 --> 00:25:50,454
"Take care of them"

86
00:26:02,132 --> 00:26:05,177
"What is the income for the second quarter?"

87
00:26:12,935 --> 00:26:15,103
"No" "No" "No" "No" "No"

88
00:26:23,278 --> 00:26:24,613
"Pass it on"

89
00:26:38,126 --> 00:26:40,337
"Have we already taken over Studio Wielki Film?

90
00:26:40,420 --> 00:26:44,091
Which I want more
than anything else in the world?"

91
00:26:45,467 --> 00:26:48,470
"No, boss.
They rejected our proposal."

92
00:26:54,393 --> 00:26:57,855
"Mel Funny is trying to save himself
Studio making a new silent film

93
00:27:03,318 --> 00:27:05,863
"Burt Reynolds and James Caan
I want to play in it...

94
00:27:05,946 --> 00:27:08,365
Now look for more big stars"

95
00:27:33,307 --> 00:27:38,478
"We have to stop them.
We're going to Hollywood tomorrow."

96
00:27:55,245 --> 00:27:56,997
"Must make it shorter"

97
00:28:00,709 --> 00:28:01,960
MEN'S TOILET

98
00:28:22,356 --> 00:28:26,860
"Hi buddy, can you watch my dog?
When will I go to the toilet?"

99
00:28:52,928 --> 00:28:55,180
"Will you watch my dog?"

100
00:29:11,363 --> 00:29:13,907
"Wait!
You have the WRONG DOG!"

101
00:29:15,826 --> 00:29:16,910
GREEN

102
00:29:18,036 --> 00:29:19,037
RED

103
00:29:48,192 --> 00:29:50,861
SZECHUAN KITCHEN
HOT AND SPICY

104
00:30:01,079 --> 00:30:05,584
"Mel, I'm starving.
I need blueberry pie... bad."

105
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,328
PROJECTOR

106
00:30:44,665 --> 00:30:47,668
"I'll be there in a minute. I want to."
watch a few scenes...

107
00:30:47,751 --> 00:30:51,964
from a low budget movie,
which we are shooting in India"

108
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:01,682
"QUEEN'S RIFLE"

109
00:31:34,923 --> 00:31:37,551
"I like the last row the most"

110
00:31:40,220 --> 00:31:41,805
"Drrrrr
Drrr."

111
00:31:57,362 --> 00:32:00,741
"The Eater and the Eater are flying
here to go through the Studio"

112
00:32:05,245 --> 00:32:09,041
"Come on, guys.
We need to find more stars"

113
00:32:14,588 --> 00:32:18,342
"Don't worry, Boss.
"We will save the studio"

114
00:32:23,430 --> 00:32:26,808
STUDIES COMMISSIONER
FOR STAFF ONLY

115
00:32:35,651 --> 00:32:39,655
"Gosh. Such a big studio and
"No Star in the Parking Lot"

116
00:32:44,743 --> 00:32:47,287
"Hey, Boss.
Isn't that Liza Minnelli?"

117
00:32:53,460 --> 00:32:56,380
"You're right.
How will we get there?"

118
00:33:16,817 --> 00:33:20,362
“I'm sorry, Miss Minnelli.
Are these seats occupied?"

119
00:33:20,487 --> 00:33:23,198
"No.
Please sit down"

120
00:34:47,783 --> 00:34:50,327
"Does this belong to whom?"

121
00:35:21,733 --> 00:35:24,444
MEL FUNNY WANTED
STARS FOR SILENT FILM

122
00:35:34,037 --> 00:35:35,831
"You're Mel Funny..."

123
00:35:38,041 --> 00:35:40,419
"I want to star in your movie!"

124
00:35:54,808 --> 00:35:58,437
EATERS AND EATERS
WE HAVE OUR FINGERS IN EVERYTHING

125
00:36:13,577 --> 00:36:17,331
OUR TOILETS ARE NITTER
THAN MOST PEOPLE'S APARTMENTS

126
00:36:21,502 --> 00:36:26,131
"They already have Lize Minnelli,
and now I want ANNE BANCROFT!"

127
00:36:27,466 --> 00:36:28,759
"Hurry, give me my coat!"

128
00:36:32,095 --> 00:36:35,307
Only for the rich.

129
00:37:36,952 --> 00:37:38,662
AVAILABLE:
FLAMENCOS

130
00:37:41,206 --> 00:37:42,708
AVAILABLE:
N O W AND FLAMENCOS

131
00:37:49,882 --> 00:37:51,633
Rio Bomba Club

132
00:38:29,046 --> 00:38:30,088
"HOP!"

133
00:38:40,557 --> 00:38:44,228
"Oh, Miss Bancroft...
We are honored by your presence"

134
00:40:47,226 --> 00:40:49,937
"Who are they kidding! This
Funny, Eggman and Bell.

135
00:40:50,020 --> 00:40:53,774
They probably want me in their movie"

136
00:43:11,954 --> 00:43:14,498
"Will you star in our movie?"

137
00:43:17,376 --> 00:43:19,253
"I'LL PLAY!"

138
00:44:03,922 --> 00:44:06,133
"You idiot!
"We were late"

139
00:44:13,432 --> 00:44:16,268
ANNE BANCROFT INTERESTED IN SILENT FILM

140
00:44:23,275 --> 00:44:26,278
"Please, Boss. Stop."
"I want to drink"

141
00:45:27,297 --> 00:45:29,883
"They're right.
"It's a REAL thing"

142
00:45:32,970 --> 00:45:34,513
SUNDAY EDITION OF THE CHRONICLE

143
00:45:43,939 --> 00:45:46,525
STUDIO HEAD IN THE HOSPITAL

144
00:45:46,608 --> 00:45:47,651
NEWSPAPER SELLER DISAPPEARS

145
00:46:04,209 --> 00:46:06,170
"We are looking for a Studio Head"

146
00:46:19,766 --> 00:46:21,018
"thank you very much"

147
00:46:27,232 --> 00:46:31,236
GERIATRIC WARD
NOBODY UNDER 75 YEARS OLD

148
00:48:19,052 --> 00:48:20,721
INTENSIVE THERAPY

149
00:48:27,686 --> 00:48:29,771
"Where can we find the Studio Head?"

150
00:48:43,827 --> 00:48:45,996
My ugly dreams

151
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:10,395
"How are you feeling, Boss?"

152
00:49:12,022 --> 00:49:15,108
"Okay...
"Besides, it hurts all the time"

153
00:49:35,295 --> 00:49:37,130
"Did you bring me the newspapers?"

154
00:49:41,134 --> 00:49:42,928
"Time for a Pill"

155
00:50:15,377 --> 00:50:19,590
"You give them to me all the time,
but they don't seem to work"

156
00:51:25,864 --> 00:51:27,025
"Boss, we have a great idea.

157
00:51:27,783 --> 00:51:31,578
We'll deal with Marcel Marceau,
THE BEST MIME IN THE WORLD

158
00:51:34,832 --> 00:51:37,334
"We'll call him in Paris.
Immediately.

159
00:51:43,882 --> 00:51:48,053
"Hello, headquarters. Please, Paris, France.
Paris�? Marcel Marceau, please."

160
00:52:59,458 --> 00:53:01,293
"Hello, Marcel? Je suis Funny."

161
00:53:01,376 --> 00:53:05,547
He would like to play in the first one
silent film for 40 years?

162
00:53:08,258 --> 00:53:09,258
No!

163
00:53:15,682 --> 00:53:17,226
"What did he say?"

164
00:53:17,768 --> 00:53:20,687
"I don't know.
I don't understand French"

165
00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:35,744
"The house, it's broken down there
"racing car"

166
00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:40,332
"Boss? Is this who I think it is?"

167
00:53:49,007 --> 00:53:51,218
"Oh God! It's PAUL NEWMAN!"

168
00:56:41,471 --> 00:56:44,558
“Hey, isn't that you
Are you making this silent film?"

169
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:49,771
"Can I play in it?"

170
00:56:55,235 --> 00:56:57,154
"We'll get back to you"

171
00:57:01,116 --> 00:57:06,580
PAUL NEWMAN
SAVED TO MUTE

172
00:57:13,879 --> 00:57:18,509
"Gentlemen, this film will never be made.
"We will stop Funny with SEX"

173
00:57:25,974 --> 00:57:29,770
"Let me introduce you to the most
tempting the creature that lived... Vilma Kaplan!"

174
00:57:36,693 --> 00:57:39,196
"Gentlemen, what do you think about this?"

175
00:57:52,209 --> 00:57:55,546
VILMA KAPLAN - SHAFFE OF DESIRE

176
00:58:52,686 --> 00:58:54,605
"Give me your wallet"

177
00:59:02,905 --> 00:59:06,408
"I'm sorry, Mr. Funny. I forgot,
"that drinking ruined your career"

178
00:59:40,317 --> 00:59:43,987
"I would like to dance lightly
a mannered pervert?"

179
01:01:12,493 --> 01:01:14,328
"Ba Ba LUUU!"

180
01:04:05,332 --> 01:04:08,377
"She's amazing. Pray
so as not to be a female impersonator"

181
01:04:17,845 --> 01:04:19,763
"Which one of you is the Funny One?"

182
01:04:43,704 --> 01:04:45,664
"Let's smoke this cigar"

183
01:08:43,777 --> 01:08:48,448
"Vilma is a jerk. He's a spy
Absorber and Devourer. "We have proof"

184
01:09:01,211 --> 01:09:03,297
"He'll tell you the rest."

185
01:09:09,386 --> 01:09:12,890
VILMA KAPLAN - 50,000

186
01:09:13,807 --> 01:09:17,019
FOR PRETENDING LOVE FOR MEL FUNNY

187
01:09:38,999 --> 01:09:39,999
"NO! NO!”

188
01:09:45,005 --> 01:09:46,005
"YES! YES!”

189
01:10:23,043 --> 01:10:26,171
“Geez. We start shooting the movie tomorrow.

190
01:10:26,255 --> 01:10:27,965
What are we going to do?"

191
01:11:12,593 --> 01:11:16,805
"I'm sorry, Mr. Absorber.
I'm leaving. I love this roundworm"

192
01:11:22,603 --> 01:11:23,896
"Mel's drinking again

193
01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:28,066
he found out that you work for the Absorber
and the Eater, and it broke his heart."

194
01:11:31,486 --> 01:11:35,157
"Faster. Give me my coat.
"We will save him"

195
01:11:53,842 --> 01:11:56,970
"Sounds delicious.
I would like..."

196
01:12:00,807 --> 01:12:01,975
HOTEL LICHY

197
01:12:07,981 --> 01:12:12,653
MURPHY BEDS
Charming for the undemanding

198
01:13:16,216 --> 01:13:18,218
Gay bar.

199
01:13:56,548 --> 01:13:59,635
"He's the real king of drunks"

200
01:15:06,451 --> 01:15:11,665
"Coffee works. Lift me up.
If I can walk, I can direct"

201
01:15:46,867 --> 01:15:50,454
"Okay, team, I'm ready.
Let's make this movie"

202
01:16:04,092 --> 01:16:07,888
SILENT FILM PHOTOS AVAILABLE TODAY!

203
01:16:09,765 --> 01:16:12,392
A SILENT FILM COMPLETED IN RECORD TIME

204
01:16:12,476 --> 01:16:14,311
SILENT FILM SHOWING TODAY

205
01:16:51,390 --> 01:16:54,977
"How are you? I'm the manager.
"I wish you luck"

206
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,779
POPKORN
Dustbin Portion

207
01:17:09,575 --> 01:17:11,535
HOT BUTTER

208
01:17:26,633 --> 01:17:28,802
HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE

209
01:17:32,598 --> 01:17:34,558
"Mr. Funny...
"The movie was stolen"

210
01:17:38,020 --> 01:17:39,813
"My God. It was the only copy"

211
01:17:43,192 --> 01:17:45,611
"It must be a job
Absorber and Devourer"

212
01:17:49,615 --> 01:17:52,743
"Get the film back.
I'll keep the audience"

213
01:18:08,842 --> 01:18:10,177
"Ba Ba LUUU!"

214
01:18:26,026 --> 01:18:28,737
"Let's drink a toast to the end of a silent film"

215
01:18:33,659 --> 01:18:35,244
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

216
01:18:56,056 --> 01:18:58,225
PARKING FOR GATHERERS AND DRIVERS ONLY

217
01:19:48,233 --> 01:19:50,360
DRIVING LEARNING

218
01:19:50,736 --> 01:19:52,905
ENTRY BAN

219
01:20:12,257 --> 01:20:14,259
DISINSECTION

220
01:20:24,019 --> 01:20:26,688
"Waiter.
There's a fly in my soup"

221
01:20:45,582 --> 01:20:50,170
THE CHASE CONTINUES - NIGHT

222
01:21:08,438 --> 01:21:10,983
"Rewind the video.
"We will stop them"

223
01:21:56,486 --> 01:21:57,946
"It's jammed"

224
01:22:23,931 --> 01:22:25,140
"DOCTOR!"

225
01:22:29,311 --> 01:22:31,396
"Let's get the movie!"

226
01:23:10,102 --> 01:23:12,563
"Faster. "Push him to the projector"

227
01:23:47,347 --> 01:23:50,517
STUDIO WIELKI FILM

228
01:24:06,950 --> 01:24:09,328
"If this movie is a hit,
I will marry you...

229
01:24:09,411 --> 01:24:12,122
and you will never be again
"She had to undress"

230
01:24:22,841 --> 01:24:25,886
"We'll find out in a moment
Is it a hit or a flop?

231
01:24:35,020 --> 01:24:37,356
"I think they like it!"

232
01:25:33,537 --> 01:25:36,957
It was a true story

233
01:25:40,169 --> 01:25:42,004
THEY PERFORMED AS THEMSELVES:

234
01:26:38,519 --> 01:26:41,438
Fit:
..::Flissek::..