1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:07,007 Hello, I'm American treasure, Mel Brooks. 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,259 To some of you, I'm a hero. 3 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,970 To others, merely a legend. 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,556 Over 40 years ago, I wrote and directed 5 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,017 History of the World, Part One, 6 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,810 a sketch comedy movie that showed 7 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,104 the real side of history. 8 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,605 I also starred in it. 9 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,149 Maybe a mistake. 10 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:27,277 So when I was approached by somebody named Hulu 11 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,904 to make a sequel, I had two conditions. 12 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:35,160 One, they had to make me look exactly how I did in 1981. 13 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,786 And here I am. 14 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,246 Exactly what I looked like. 15 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:40,999 Who knew there were muscles here. 16 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:45,337 Anyway, my other stipulation was all original material, 17 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,506 nothing from Part One, no repeats. 18 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,383 So without further ado, 19 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,970 I present to you History of the World, Part Two. 20 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,891 Hey guys, look at me, I'm swol. 21 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,187 Hitler on Ice. 22 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,190 And Adolf Hitler, 23 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,401 {\an8}not giving the performance he had hoped for tonight. 24 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,694 Mm. 25 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,488 {\an8}The master race isn't lookin' so masterful. 26 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,239 Very hard to perform at a high level 27 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,117 when you are losing a two front war. 28 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,994 - Oh. - Oh, no. 29 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,662 - Wow! - You know, it really hurts 30 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,081 when you fall on the ice like that. 31 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,707 - Absolutely, Trish. - It does. 32 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,501 And that's gonna wrap it up for Adolf Hitler. 33 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,753 Let's go to the floor and see some scores. 34 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,171 And we're gonna follow him 35 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,756 {\an8}into the kiss and cry booth. 36 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,591 And here he is with his longtime coach, 37 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,885 Joseph Goebbels and his new bride, Eva Braun, 38 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,429 and they are throwing things at him in the audience. 39 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,764 They are throwing dead flowers. 40 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,724 And he is waitin' for the scores. Here they are. 41 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,853 {\an8}- Wow. - Wow. 42 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,314 {\an8}As expected, it's a festival of zeros, 43 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,900 except for the French who gave him a ten, 44 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,945 {\an8}-those Vichy cowards. - Wow. 45 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,280 {\an8}He got a straight up fuck you from Poland. 46 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,990 I've said it before, I'll say it again, 47 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:59,035 if you put concentration camps in people's countries, 48 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,995 you better be flawless on the ice. 49 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,790 - Look at how hysterical he is. See? - Wow. 50 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,417 this is what happens when men are in charge. 51 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,918 I don't know about you guys. 52 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,920 I think this is gonna turn into one of those Hitler memes. 53 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,213 Have you guys seen those? 54 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,298 - Mm-hmm, and oh. - I see a Luger. 55 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,134 - I see a Luger. Wow. - There's the Luger. 56 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,137 Uh-oh, looks like he's heading back to the bunker 57 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,015 with Eva Braun to blow his psychopathic brains 58 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,391 right out of his shit head. 59 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,853 Yeah, I have to imagine that this is his last competition, 60 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,230 and I, for one am glad about it. 61 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,024 He's a thug and bad for the sport. 62 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,191 And humanity. 63 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,985 Mm, greasy head motherfucker. 64 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,863 Ho-ho, we're gonna get some letters about that one, 65 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,032 but hashtag I stand with Trish. 66 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,700 Hashtag me too. 67 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:39,826 I don't know about that one. 68 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,077 Absolutely. 69 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,120 And coming up next, 70 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,329 we've got men's downhill 71 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,914 with Benito Mussolini. 72 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,958 He can make the trains run on time, 73 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,794 but can he beat his own time on the slopes? 74 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,254 Let's hope he falls down 75 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,131 and breaks both of his fuckin' legs. 76 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,306 History of the World, Part Two. 77 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,983 The Civil War. 78 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,114 The Civil War was in its final days. 79 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,076 We're talking about the one in the 1860s, 80 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,870 not the one coming up in 2024. 81 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:29,918 The South was on its last legs as the Union Army closed in, 82 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,586 and at the head of that army 83 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,256 was the lushly-bearded Ulysses S. Grant, 84 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,677 who was also a bit of a lush. 85 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,428 General Grant. 86 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,514 - Hi, Pam, how are ya? -Big win out there. 87 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,516 What is going through your mind right now? 88 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,643 Well, we lost 4,000 men out there. 89 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,894 {\an8}They're dead. 90 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,771 But we did kill 6,000 of their guys, 91 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,439 {\an8}but a lot of their guys were related to our guys, 92 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,191 {\an8}so it's a lot of mixed emotions right now for them. 93 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,068 They say the war is almost over. 94 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,238 {\an8}If the North wins, will you go to Disneyland? 95 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,199 {\an8}Well, that depends, do they have a bar? (laughing) JK. 96 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,410 {\an8}I'll hang you both, if you dump that on me. 97 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,036 Great to see you, Pam, take care. 98 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,996 Please don't take my arm, sir. 99 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,081 I'm a drummer. 100 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,499 Can I get a dull saw? 101 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,001 Tell me, doc, will it hurt? 102 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,961 When we amputate your head? Yea. 103 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,754 Play Devil Went Down to Georgia. 104 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,172 We don't have the rights. 105 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,133 Then just do a sound alike. 106 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,470 Hold on, everyone. 107 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,555 Daddy's comin'. 108 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:26,141 Daddy's home. Come to Papa. 109 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,227 - Sir. - What is it? 110 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,646 President Lincoln is in your quarters, sir. 111 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,981 I know. 112 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,024 Dismissed. 113 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,194 Damn it. 114 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,620 Mr. President. 115 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,663 Oh, there he is. 116 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,167 Hey, oh. 117 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:55,086 Stephen Douglas's dick hole. 118 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,129 Are you okay, sir? 119 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,172 Yes, I'm fine. 120 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,007 Have a seat, Ulysses, have a seat. 121 00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,092 Oh. 122 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,844 Mr. President, you look exhausted. 123 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,555 This war has taken a toll on you, sir. 124 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,098 It's not the war. 125 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,016 It's my height. 126 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,351 I mean, look at me. 127 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,977 They don't make things for a big boy like me. 128 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,103 I mean, ugh. 129 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,980 Look at these pants, Ulysses. 130 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:14,898 Look at that. 131 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900 They're basically capris. 132 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,527 I'm a big boy. I need big boy pants. 133 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,154 I will say they look kind of fun, 134 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,198 somethin' you could wear at a summer party, maybe. 135 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:27,577 Look, anyways, I have heard some grumblings 136 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,372 and that your imbibing has gotten a bit out of control. 137 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,498 My imbibing? 138 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,791 - Mm-hmm. - Who told you that? 139 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,917 Was it Sheridan? 140 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,418 Because he's addicted to laudanum. 141 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,045 Look, I don't drink a lot, you know. 142 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,963 Like maybe like a little bit like on a holiday or some-- 143 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:48,139 I believe today is what the Hebrews call Pesach, sir. 144 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:52,227 No more alcohol until the war is over. 145 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,187 Do you understand me, Ulysses? 146 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,233 Yeah, sure, fine. 147 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,192 I don't need a drink. 148 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,278 Good. All right, there is one more thing 149 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,446 that I need to talk to you about. 150 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,572 It's about my son, Robert Todd. 151 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:05,699 Your son. 152 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,784 He has been begging me to enlist. 153 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,619 And now that the war is nearly over, 154 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,287 I feel like this is the perfect time 155 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:12,789 to just get him in there. 156 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,082 Once all the regular fighters have- 157 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,542 - Yes, yes, abs- - Given their lives 158 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,043 and bled and lost their legs, 159 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,670 now you wanna sneak in your little Harvard boy 160 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,838 for a couple days in the course. 161 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,297 Yes, no, you understand, absolutely. 162 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,174 - Gotcha, yeah, okay. - He's a good boy. 163 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,718 You know, I want you to look after him. 164 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,053 Mr. President, I want you to know, 165 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,221 I won't let the boy out my sight. 166 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,764 Oh, good, good, good. Robert Todd- 167 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,433 Oh, Jesus, God. 168 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,434 - Good Lord. - Dammit. 169 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,769 I have legs for arms. 170 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,937 That was a gift from my wife, sir. 171 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,856 Ow, god dammit. 172 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:38,898 R.T. 173 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,027 General Grant, sir. 174 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,319 It is an honor, sir. 175 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:46,197 I have been a huge fan my entire life. 176 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,365 And how long is that, young man? 177 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,159 One score and two years. 178 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,369 That means 22 in our secret language. 179 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,121 - Come on over here, come over here. - Right here. 180 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,123 There's my big, strong boy. 181 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,875 Watch this, I trained him well. 182 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,585 - Yes. - What do I have? 183 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,462 - You've trained for this. What do I have? - My nose. 184 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,463 Yes, can you get it? 185 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,589 Can you reattach it? 186 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,800 First try. 187 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,093 Good job, son. 188 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,219 Seems like a great kid. 189 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,263 He's in good hands, Mr. President. 190 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,015 All right. 191 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,145 The union state is in your hands, Ulysses. 192 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,522 End this war. 193 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,024 Yes, Mr. President. 194 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:27,364 And I have every soldier in the entire state of Virginia 195 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,866 on orders to deny you alcohol. 196 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,242 Is that understood? 197 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,912 Yes, sir. 198 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:34,871 Good. 199 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,707 God dammit. 200 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,292 That is gonna be the worst thing 201 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,586 that's gonna happen to my head all year. 202 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,005 Thanks for comin' by, sir. 203 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,757 - Sir, yes sir. - Good to see you. 204 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,925 You leaving, sir? 205 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,343 General Grant, sir. 206 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,845 Would you do me the honor of regaling me 207 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,931 with your most horrifying war stories? 208 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:53,890 I mean, 209 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,266 I really wanna know what it's like 210 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:59,354 to see the light drain out of a man's eye by your own hand. 211 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,271 General, no. 212 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,481 Dammit. 213 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,402 Who drank all my gun whiskey? 214 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,987 Okay. Think, Ulysses, think. 215 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,367 I have decided that you are ready to join me 216 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,078 on a top secret mission, but I'm warning you right now, 217 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:19,207 it's gonna be very, very whiskey, risky. Are you in? 218 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,334 I will follow you to the gates of Hell, sir. 219 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,294 It's worse than that, son. 220 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,130 We're goin' to West Virginia. 221 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,298 No. 222 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,384 No! 223 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,435 The Kama Sutra. 224 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,313 {\an8}Thank you for having me to pitch my new book idea. 225 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,315 Well, thank for coming. We're big fans. 226 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,026 - Ugh. - I'm a simple guy. 227 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,318 I like eating soup. 228 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,611 I like having sex. 229 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,280 If I'm not going slurp, slurp, slurp, 230 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,448 I'm eating soup. 231 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,367 I like that. 232 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,119 And so this really brings my two passions together. 233 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,873 I have created hundreds of tasty soup recipes 234 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,416 and paired them 235 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,626 with the perfect corresponding sexual position. 236 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,255 I call it Kama Souptra, From Soup to Nuts. 237 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,382 From soup to nuts. 238 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,760 Oh, okay, well, that's very clever. 239 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,053 All right, here we go. 240 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,388 First one, lamb stew, 241 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,849 paired with a simple missionary. 242 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,102 It's warm. It's comforting. Everyone likes it. 243 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,854 Now we're getting a little more fun. 244 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,314 Leek soup. 245 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,983 For obvious reasons you're gonna need a tarp for this one. 246 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,944 Ooh, love this one, summer gazpacho. 247 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,905 That's when you and you lover share a chilled soup 248 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,406 while fucking on a cold tiled counter. 249 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,367 Wait, that looks so much like your wife. 250 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,244 That is my wife, and that's my neighbor Prakash. 251 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,121 - Oh. - VĀTSYĀYANA: Moving on. 252 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,499 Let me guess, that's chowder. 253 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,667 That's exactly right. 254 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,460 And before you ask, this position pairs 255 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,004 just as well with New England or Manhattan chowder. 256 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,757 Spinach artichoke. 257 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,051 It's vegan, pairs well with a nice light choking. 258 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,595 See, I've always been a little reluctant to go there. 259 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,013 Oh yeah, people are afraid to go vegan, 260 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,473 but it's very satisfying. 261 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,684 Ooh, this is a slow cook recipe 262 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,061 for a tantric mushroom and barley soup, 263 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,648 for one you wanna take 12 hours to climax. 264 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,024 - Oh. - Who does that? 265 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,734 What does that taste like? 266 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,319 It tastes like your wife fucking the neighbor. 267 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,154 Oh, Prakash. 268 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,531 - Prakash. - Yeah, Prakash sucks. 269 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,449 Anyways, since we don't want 270 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,493 this to be a tantric meeting, 271 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,245 should I just fly through a bunch of 'em? 272 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,455 VĀTSYĀYANA: Keep it moving? Here we go. 273 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,541 - Here we go. - Egg drop soup. No muss, no fuss, 274 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,792 for when you wanna make a baby. 275 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,377 This is a simple recipe for tortellini, 276 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,878 the butthole of pastas. 277 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,922 It's fun, but you're gonna need some oil 278 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,091 and good communication. 279 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,050 Italian wedding. 280 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,343 That's when fuck your aunt 281 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,594 while she yells at your cousin 282 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,096 for not becoming a cop. 283 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,472 Butternut squash. 284 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,225 That's when she butters you nuts till you squash. 285 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,226 I have many more. 286 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,437 Should I keep going or... 287 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,355 I don't think that's gonna be necessary. 288 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,983 Because we love it. 289 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,986 - You do? - We just have one little note. 290 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,572 - Yes. - Okay, we don't want the soup. 291 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,282 We just want the sex positions. 292 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,367 Okay, that's actually crazy, 293 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,994 because the soup is what's gonna make this book 294 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,370 a best seller for a thousand years. 295 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,496 Mm. 296 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,248 You know what? I am not a pornographer. 297 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,334 I do not make art to get people off. 298 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,544 I make art to get people off and fill their bellies 299 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,630 with a nice bowl of soup, stew, chowder, or bisque. 300 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,966 If you don't get that, maybe this is not the place for me. 301 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,551 Oh, oh. 302 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,510 So we're just gonna 303 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,470 steal the idea, right? 304 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,512 Absolutely. 305 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,228 The Russian Revolution. 306 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:32,108 Russia, 1918, the Romanov family 307 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,486 clings to power as Vlad Lenin 308 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,989 and the Bolsheviks lead the communist revolution. 309 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,824 Meanwhile, in the countryside, 310 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,452 my people did what they had done for centuries. 311 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,746 Be poor Jews. 312 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,831 Real estate, real estate. 313 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:50,168 Get your dream hut from Property Brothers (inaudible). 314 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,463 Bot seeds, bot seeds. 315 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,716 You can't have a Russian bot farm without bot seeds. 316 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,176 Serf boards. 317 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,428 Put your serf on a board. 318 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,973 Mud pies, get your mud pies. 319 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,102 Get your mud pies from me, Schmuck Mudman. 320 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,312 Made with the abject suffering 321 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,357 and eczema of the Jewish diaspora. 322 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:16,695 All you need to do is add water. 323 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,238 Joshy, my sweet son, 324 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,448 Come, come help me with the family business. 325 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,619 I don't care about the family business, Dad. 326 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,539 All I care about is falling in love, 327 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,582 and I'll never meet the girl of my dreams 328 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,918 if I'm selling mud pies. 329 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,253 That's not true. 330 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,046 I met your mother selling mud pies. 331 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,673 Her father came in, bought one, 332 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,050 got absolutely horrible food poisoning, 333 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,011 and as punishment he made me marry 334 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,554 his most difficult daughter. 335 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,305 I don't want an arranged marriage. 336 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,682 I can arrange that. 337 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,058 Joshy, don't you see, 338 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,769 that when you submit to a higher force 339 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,563 good things can happen. 340 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,690 It's all about submission. 341 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,487 ♪ Submission, submission ♪ 342 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,198 ♪ When you yield to a superior force ♪ 343 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,616 Hey, shut up, Schmuck, Schmuck. 344 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,743 -♪ Sub-- ♪ - Stop the song. 345 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,703 We need to talk. Go inside now. 346 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,873 And so the song has come to its natural conclusion. 347 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,791 Right behind you, my sour pickle. 348 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,378 Bert, watch my mud pies. 349 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,088 - Sure. - Thank you. 350 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:18,923 Look. 351 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,634 Oh no. Mets continue slump? 352 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,512 No, the idiot Tsar and his parasitic family 353 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,513 have been executed. 354 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,897 Ugh, this is like really when I miss my servants. 355 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:34,856 Okay. 356 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,539 Anastasia, your lunch is here. 357 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,832 You guys! 358 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,709 You're being so loud right now. 359 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:55,669 I'm recording. 360 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,506 Ah, kids, why the long faces? 361 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,550 We are not inbred like the Hapsburgs. 362 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,219 We are the Romanovs. 363 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,763 We only sleep with beautiful relatives. 364 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,349 Ew, dad, boundaries. 365 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,643 How long is this revolution gonna last? 366 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,770 I wanna go back to the winter palace. 367 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,731 This merchant's house is so last season. 368 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,650 It just be a matter of time before 369 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:22,445 we are reinstated as the rightful rulers of Russia. 370 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,780 The people love us. 371 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,323 And what's not the love 372 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,159 with our leaky blood and weak bones? 373 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,163 Oh Lord, the Prince is getting sicker. 374 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,374 What else are we gonna do? 375 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,794 We wrapped his scrotum in garlic bulbs, 376 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,088 like our family doctor prescribed. 377 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:43,591 Speaking of, where the Devil is he? 378 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,593 Did someone say the Devil? 379 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,556 Who farted? 380 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:50,765 Oh! 381 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:51,850 Yes. 382 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,727 My dear Rasputin. 383 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,437 The only mystic in Russia 384 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,314 that I trust with my medical and political advice. 385 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:02,193 Ah, Rasputin, I heard some noble stabbed you. 386 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,445 A mere tickle. 387 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,823 Rasputin, our son Alexi's health declines, 388 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:11,578 and we're in desperate need of your healing powers. 389 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,330 Huh. Okay, up. 390 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,752 Follow my hand. 391 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:29,763 Okay, so my diagnosis is that your son's body 392 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,599 is being haunted by Moldavian demons. 393 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,352 Fucking Moldavian. 394 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:36,394 Anything else? 395 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,812 That about covers it. 396 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,647 I'm off. 397 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,441 Long live the Ramonovs. 398 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,695 Ew, Ras-pee-you-tin. 399 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,489 Who'da known he'd be my favorite Putin. 400 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,575 Ah, the White Army. 401 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,869 It's about time. 402 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,121 You've come to escort us to the winter palace? 403 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,375 Wee. 404 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,919 The Discovery of Fire. 405 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,678 Stephanie. 406 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:34,929 Spow pow. 407 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,295 Wait, now that I'm looking at that painting, 408 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,214 I like really get it. 409 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:11,007 Wait, can I just say something? 410 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,343 It is so funny they call us cave people. 411 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,761 I've never been in a cave. 412 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,762 Oh, me neither. 413 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,846 - Yeah, same. - I don't even know 414 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:17,931 where there is one. 415 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:20,892 Hey, do you guys ever feel like your life is a movie? 416 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,936 More like a TV show. 417 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,771 Oh, yeah. 418 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,356 Look, there's a whole crew right there. 419 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,982 You can see it in the reflection of my glasses. 420 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,739 William Shakespeare. 421 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,035 Such as dirty, murky trough water 422 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,036 with a little bit of lemon. 423 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,162 And then I don't eat till, 424 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,205 my first meal is lunch. 425 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,834 Hey, uh, is this the writer's room for Shakespeare? 426 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,252 Uh, yeah, you the new guy? 427 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,837 Yes, I am. 428 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,423 I'm a man, as evidenced by my low voice. 429 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,425 Sorry, I'm late. 430 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:54,968 Sorry, I'm late, everyone. 431 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,386 Nanny called in sick. 432 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:57,721 She's got the plague. 433 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:01,599 So, read the latest draft of Hamlet. 434 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,768 Some good stuff, some good stuff. 435 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,104 Does Shakespeare like it? 436 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:07,814 Yeah. 437 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,983 Is Shakespeare in love? 438 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,901 No, no, not yet. 439 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,445 Keep pushing. 440 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,863 Yes, oh, hello. 441 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,614 Who are you? Have we met? 442 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,993 Oh, I'm a writer from the Oxford Lampoon. 443 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,286 I'm a man. 444 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:23,997 My penis itches. 445 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,707 Mm, I was skeptical until he said that. 446 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,585 Okay, so here's what I'd like to do. 447 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:31,087 I would like to gray sky for a bit. 448 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,214 Just throw some ideas around. 449 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,591 See what sticks. 450 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,092 No judgments. 451 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,386 Francis Bacon, take us on our journey. 452 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:40,597 Oh, okay, it's pretty crazy. 453 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,807 But what if we do a play, 454 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,394 okay, but it's got music and singing. 455 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,564 So what you're suggesting, if I'm hearing it right, 456 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:53,068 is that people stop in the middle of a show 457 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:56,112 and start singing something to the equivalent of... 458 00:19:56,112 --> 00:20:02,786 ♪ I'm so sad because my uncle killed my dad ♪ 459 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:03,870 ♪ Hamlet ♪ 460 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,038 That's fucking awful. 461 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,123 Okay, anyone else have a pitch? 462 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,917 Maybe a good idea, per chance. 463 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:12,045 What about an interracial love story? 464 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,130 An English lady and a Black guy, 465 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,007 but it's not about race. 466 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,135 And we called it, I don't know, Othello. 467 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,929 Oh, let me start off by saying this. 468 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:24,849 I am an ally, but I don't think it's my story to tell. 469 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,144 So if you wanna develop it, I would absolutely support that. 470 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:32,524 But just remember, it was conceived in this room, 471 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:33,817 was it not? 472 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,026 Yes, t'was. 473 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,653 So technically I own it. 474 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,071 It's a Shakespeare. 475 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,948 - This motherfucker. - Anything else? 476 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,908 Um, I have a love story. 477 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284 It's about two White people. 478 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,994 See, now that's relatable. 479 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,538 So they're star crossed lovers, 480 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,581 and they're in a small town like Verona. 481 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,625 Ooh, Italy is hot right now. 482 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,335 And their houses hate each other, 483 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,837 but they fall in love anyway. 484 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:57,340 And then they die tragically in the end. 485 00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,135 Okay, that's not quite working for me yet, 486 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,847 but let me just spitball on it for a second. 487 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:08,893 Okay, what if they're ill-fated paramours 488 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:14,566 from two different families and they come from, 489 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,862 I want to say, Verona, maybe? 490 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,071 Right? 491 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:23,491 And they die in a sad way. 492 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:28,121 And we shall call it Friends with Benefits. 493 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,456 - I love that. - Thank you. 494 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,041 - Dynamite idea, boss. - Thank you. 495 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,584 But isn't that what I just pitched? 496 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,669 No, you pitched me a lump of coal, and I, 497 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,421 out of the kindness of my heart, 498 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:39,007 took it and made it into a diamond. 499 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,301 Okay, what you actually did was, 500 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,178 I said an idea, then you repeated it 501 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:46,931 as if it was your own idea. 502 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:54,939 You don't understand the pressure I'm under. 503 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,067 I have to produce. 504 00:21:57,067 --> 00:22:02,030 I have to make sure the costumes are hot and heavy. 505 00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:07,035 I have to cast men that look like pretty little women. 506 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:09,996 Ooh, little women, that could be something. 507 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:13,291 That could be something awful. 508 00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,672 You know what? 509 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:19,714 I'm sorry. 510 00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:20,674 I'm just... 511 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,717 Ugh, I'm rife with hunger. 512 00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,094 What are we doing for lunch? 513 00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:26,096 Uh, we ordered Chipotle. 514 00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:27,555 God dammit. 515 00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:31,226 Alas, poor Uric. 516 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:33,436 It's fine, I barely knew him anyway. 517 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:39,067 Rasputin. 518 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,279 The mystical Russian priest 519 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:47,409 who had a powerful mental hold on the Romanov family. 520 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,078 This didn't sit well with some of the Nobles, 521 00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:52,706 so they decided to kill him, 522 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,916 which by the way, wasn't so easy. 523 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:01,089 I'm Rasputin, and this is getting stabbed in the back 524 00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:03,008 and thrown in the River Neva. 525 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,804 Oh, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. 526 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:12,267 Throw him in. 527 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,113 The Russian Revolution. 528 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,783 Now back in the shtetl... 529 00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:29,993 Isn't it great? 530 00:23:29,993 --> 00:23:32,037 Those Romanov pigs are dead. 531 00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,330 The proletariat rules Russia. 532 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:37,167 We must go to Moscow and join the revolution. 533 00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:39,836 My beautiful absolutely faithful wife, 534 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:42,297 have you lost your mind? 535 00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:44,215 How could we leave all of this behind? 536 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:45,633 Nice, Dad just rhymed. 537 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,552 Here comes another song. 538 00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:50,889 ♪ We'll pack our bag and move off to the city ♪ 539 00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:54,267 ♪ Where a dream life in the ghetto waits for you ♪ 540 00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,436 ♪ Let the Goyim have this rural life so shitty ♪ 541 00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:57,520 What? 542 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,521 ♪ This shtetl stinks ♪ 543 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:02,359 ♪ It's no place for a Jew ♪ 544 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,487 ♪ I rather like the easy lifestyle of the shtetl ♪ 545 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:09,032 ♪ Where every murderous cossack knows your name ♪ 546 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,283 ♪ Why seek out that thin fear ♪ 547 00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:12,243 ♪ We've got plenty of it here ♪ 548 00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:14,829 ♪ My dear, the city's no place for a Jew ♪ 549 00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:15,789 There's no place for you. 550 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,290 Well, that could be. 551 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:20,168 ♪ Schuck, you're a schmendrik, you're a putz ♪ 552 00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:23,630 ♪ You've got more mud than brains or guts ♪ 553 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:26,925 ♪ Better a living shtetl schmendrik ♪ 554 00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:29,886 ♪ Than a dead big city Bolshevik ♪ 555 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:31,012 Bullshit. 556 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,223 - Fanny, language. - Sorry. 557 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:39,020 ♪ See, this is what I'm saying ♪ 558 00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,605 ♪ This cossack wants us dead ♪ 559 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,649 ♪ This cossack has a name, his name is Fred ♪ 560 00:24:42,816 --> 00:24:44,109 - Hi, Fred. - Hi. 561 00:24:44,109 --> 00:24:45,360 ♪ I've known this anti-Semite ♪ 562 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:46,903 ♪ for most of my whole life ♪ 563 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:48,279 ♪ He's the one who stabbed your father ♪ 564 00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:49,906 ♪ I stabbed him with my knife ♪ 565 00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:52,367 ♪ Stabbed him with his knife ♪ 566 00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:54,744 ♪ This cossacks not a killer ♪ 567 00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,371 ♪ Just peckish, the poor guy ♪ 568 00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:58,623 ♪ Keep your hands of me you filthy stinking Jew ♪ 569 00:24:58,623 --> 00:24:59,791 See? 570 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:00,917 ♪ But I've got just the ticket ♪ 571 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:02,627 ♪ The delicious Mudman pie ♪ 572 00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:07,674 ♪ A little nosh to brighten up your genocidal mood ♪ 573 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:15,348 Oh, charades. 574 00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:18,143 He wants to do charades, okay. 575 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:20,645 Okay. 576 00:25:20,645 --> 00:25:21,980 First word. 577 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,106 - I. - I. 578 00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,441 Joshy, you're so smart. 579 00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:26,901 And don't get me started on that body. 580 00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:27,944 Second word. 581 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,112 Uh, oh. 582 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:31,072 Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. 583 00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:32,490 Good job, Joshy. 584 00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:33,867 Third word. 585 00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:36,661 Uh... oh, a sheep? 586 00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:38,204 Yes, oh, but a female sheep. 587 00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:40,832 - Ewe. - Yes, a ewe. 588 00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:43,251 - You. - I kill you. 589 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:44,419 Fourth word. 590 00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,087 - Shoe? - Shoe. 591 00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,255 I kill you shoes. 592 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,673 - He hates shoes. - I kill you shoes. 593 00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:51,718 Oh, oh, oh, I kill you Jews. 594 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,345 - There it is. - I told you, see? 595 00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:55,221 Yeah, you were right, okay. 596 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:56,348 Oh. 597 00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:01,936 All right. 598 00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,147 Oh. 599 00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:08,485 Well, let's pack our one bag. 600 00:26:08,485 --> 00:26:15,492 ♪ The city is the right place for these Jews ♪ 601 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,289 But honestly we should get going if we wanna beat traffic. 602 00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:23,416 Let's go. 603 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:24,459 I'm so happy. 604 00:27:32,944 --> 00:27:35,905 Captioned by Point.360