1 00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:17,994 Woman: My name is Mary Alice young. 2 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,566 When you read this morning's paper, 3 00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:21,228 you may come across an article 4 00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:24,671 about the unusual day I had last week. 5 00:00:24,695 --> 00:00:28,135 Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life, 6 00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:31,478 but that all changed last Thursday. 7 00:00:31,502 --> 00:00:35,042 Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first. 8 00:00:35,066 --> 00:00:38,045 I made breakfast for my family. 9 00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:42,789 I performed my chores. 10 00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:46,523 I completed my projects. 11 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,226 I ran my errands. 12 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:53,330 In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day... 13 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:56,041 Quietly polishing the routine of my life 14 00:00:56,065 --> 00:01:01,368 until it gleamed with perfection. 15 00:01:01,392 --> 00:01:04,611 That's why it was so astonishing 16 00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:07,114 when I decided to go to my hallway closet 17 00:01:07,138 --> 00:01:12,698 and retrieve a revolver that had never been used. 18 00:01:15,146 --> 00:01:18,555 My body was discovered by my neighbor. 19 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,159 Mrs. Martha Huber, who had been startled 20 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,331 by a strange popping sound. 21 00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:27,634 Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think 22 00:01:27,658 --> 00:01:32,769 of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced. 23 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,572 After some initial hesitation, 24 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,204 she decided to return the blender 25 00:01:37,228 --> 00:01:39,728 she had borrowed from me six months before. 26 00:01:58,149 --> 00:02:00,789 Aah! 27 00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:04,840 It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot. 28 00:02:04,864 --> 00:02:06,533 There's blood everywhere. 29 00:02:06,557 --> 00:02:07,734 Yes. 30 00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:09,636 You've got to send an ambulance. 31 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,260 You've got to send one right now. 32 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,784 And for a moment, 33 00:02:17,808 --> 00:02:20,687 Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, 34 00:02:20,711 --> 00:02:23,620 grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy... 35 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,253 But only for a moment. 36 00:02:26,277 --> 00:02:30,126 If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, 37 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:34,290 it was her ability to look on the bright side. 38 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,169 I was laid to rest on a Monday. 39 00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:43,270 After the funeral, 40 00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:45,251 all the residents of Wisteria Lane 41 00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:48,215 came to pay their respects. 42 00:02:48,239 --> 00:02:51,448 And, as people do in these situations, 43 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,679 they brought food. 44 00:02:52,703 --> 00:02:55,282 Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. 45 00:02:55,306 --> 00:02:58,825 Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken. 46 00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,327 Of course, she didn't cook much 47 00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:02,329 while she was moving up the corporate ladder. 48 00:03:02,353 --> 00:03:04,160 She didn't have the time. 49 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,201 But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, 50 00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:08,695 her husband Tom had an idea. 51 00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:10,597 "Why not quit your job? 52 00:03:10,621 --> 00:03:12,399 "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms. 53 00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:15,272 It would be so much less stressful." 54 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,204 But this was not the case. 55 00:03:17,228 --> 00:03:20,207 In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic, 56 00:03:20,231 --> 00:03:22,479 she was now forced to get her fried chicken 57 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,581 from a fast-food restaurant. 58 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,383 Lynette would have appreciated the irony 59 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,355 if she stopped to think about it, 60 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:30,817 but she couldn't. She didn't have the time. 61 00:03:30,841 --> 00:03:32,719 Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! 62 00:03:32,743 --> 00:03:33,920 But, mom! 63 00:03:33,944 --> 00:03:35,567 No, you are going to behave today. 64 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,224 I am not going to be humiliated 65 00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:39,266 in front of the entire neighborhood. 66 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:41,868 And just so you know how serious I am... 67 00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:43,770 What's that? 68 00:03:43,794 --> 00:03:45,572 Santa's cell phone number. 69 00:03:45,596 --> 00:03:47,234 How'd you get that? 70 00:03:47,258 --> 00:03:49,606 I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf, 71 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,238 and if any of you acts up, 72 00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:53,209 so help me, I will call Santa, 73 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,913 and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas. 74 00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:58,715 You willing to risk that? 75 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,687 Mnh-mnh. 76 00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:03,390 Okay. 77 00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:04,984 Let's get this over with. 78 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,996 Gabrielle solis, who lives down the block, 79 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:13,330 brought a spicy paella. 80 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,611 Since her modeling days in New York, 81 00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:19,866 Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food... 82 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:22,709 And rich men. 83 00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:25,350 Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, 84 00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:27,444 proposed on their third date. 85 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,747 Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes, 86 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,349 but she soon discovered 87 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,982 this happened every time Carlos closed the big deal. 88 00:04:36,006 --> 00:04:38,555 Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot. 89 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,657 However, her relationship with her husband 90 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,390 was considerably cooler. 91 00:04:43,414 --> 00:04:45,537 If you talk to al Mason at this thing, 92 00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:46,933 I want you to casually mention 93 00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:48,535 how much I paid for your necklace. 94 00:04:48,559 --> 00:04:50,367 Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest? 95 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,598 He let me know how much he paid 96 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:52,939 for his wife's new convertible. 97 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:54,448 Look, just work it into the conversation. 98 00:04:54,472 --> 00:04:56,303 There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos. 99 00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:57,804 Why not? At the donoghue party, 100 00:04:57,828 --> 00:04:59,706 everyone was talking mutual funds, 101 00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,378 and you found a way to mention 102 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,949 you slept with half the yankee outfield. 103 00:05:02,973 --> 00:05:04,050 I'm telling you, it came up 104 00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:05,391 in the context of the conversation. 105 00:05:05,415 --> 00:05:06,913 Hey, people are starting to stare. 106 00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:08,455 Can you keep your voice down, please? 107 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:09,716 Absolutely. 108 00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:12,319 We wouldn't want them to think we're not happy. 109 00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:14,396 Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, 110 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:17,724 brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. 111 00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:19,766 Bree was known for her cooking, 112 00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:22,669 and for making her own clothes, 113 00:05:22,693 --> 00:05:25,602 and for doing her own gardening, 114 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:29,636 and for reupholstering her own furniture. 115 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,508 Yes, Bree's many talents 116 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,480 were known throughout the neighborhood, 117 00:05:33,504 --> 00:05:35,421 and everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree 118 00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:37,914 as the perfect wife and mother. 119 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:42,108 Everyone, that is, except her own family. 120 00:05:43,514 --> 00:05:45,922 Paul. 121 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,454 Zachary. 122 00:05:47,478 --> 00:05:48,825 Hello, Mrs. Van De Kamp. 123 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,457 Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. 124 00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:51,828 It was no trouble at all. 125 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,099 Now, the basket with the red ribbon 126 00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:54,766 is filled with desserts for your guests, 127 00:05:54,790 --> 00:05:56,503 but the one with the blue ribbon 128 00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:57,834 is just for you and Zachary. 129 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,907 It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast-type things. 130 00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:02,409 Thank you. 131 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,110 Well, the least I could do is make sure you boys had 132 00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:06,621 a decent meal to look forward to in the morning. 133 00:06:06,645 --> 00:06:09,846 I know you're out of your minds with grief. 134 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,118 Yes, we are. 135 00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:13,480 Of course, 136 00:06:13,504 --> 00:06:16,131 I will need the baskets back once you're done. 137 00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:18,846 Of course. 138 00:06:22,052 --> 00:06:24,769 Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, 139 00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:27,093 brought macaroni and cheese. 140 00:06:27,117 --> 00:06:29,996 Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni, 141 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,399 saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook, 142 00:06:32,423 --> 00:06:35,141 and she rarely made it well. 143 00:06:35,165 --> 00:06:36,403 It was too salty 144 00:06:36,427 --> 00:06:39,646 the night she and Carl moved into their house. 145 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:40,847 It was too watery 146 00:06:40,871 --> 00:06:43,910 the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt. 147 00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:46,453 She burned it the night Carl told her 148 00:06:46,477 --> 00:06:48,937 he was leaving her for his secretary. 149 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,466 A year had passed since the divorce. 150 00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:01,528 Susan had started to think how nice it would be 151 00:07:01,552 --> 00:07:03,399 to have a man in her life, 152 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,410 even one who would make fun of her cooking. 153 00:07:05,434 --> 00:07:06,503 Mom... 154 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,706 Why would someone kill themselves? 155 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,738 Well... 156 00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,409 Sometimes people are so unhappy, 157 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,447 they think that's the only way they can solve their problems. 158 00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:18,084 But Mrs. Young always seemed happy. 159 00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:20,687 Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way 160 00:07:20,711 --> 00:07:23,490 on the outside when they're totally different on the inside. 161 00:07:23,514 --> 00:07:25,051 Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend 162 00:07:25,075 --> 00:07:26,593 is always smiling and says nice things, 163 00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,525 but deep down, you just know she's a bitch? 164 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,497 I don't like that word, Julie. 165 00:07:30,521 --> 00:07:32,681 But, yeah, that's a great example. 166 00:07:43,594 --> 00:07:45,044 Julie: Hey, what's going on? 167 00:07:47,638 --> 00:07:49,546 Sorry I'm late. 168 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,217 Hi, Susan. 169 00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:52,241 Hey. 170 00:08:12,062 --> 00:08:15,009 So, what did Carl say when you confronted him? 171 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:17,574 You'll love this. He said... 172 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,006 "It doesn't mean anything. It was just sex." 173 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:22,779 Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook. 174 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,786 Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, 175 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:26,583 and he said, "you know, Susan", 176 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,616 most men live lives of quiet desperation." 177 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,987 Please tell me you punched him. 178 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,258 No, I said, "really?" 179 00:08:32,282 --> 00:08:34,220 And what do most women lead, lives of noisy fulfillment?" 180 00:08:34,244 --> 00:08:35,792 Hmm. Good for you. 181 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:36,963 I mean, of all people, 182 00:08:36,987 --> 00:08:38,595 did he have to bang his secretary? 183 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,226 I had that woman over for brunch. 184 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:41,768 It's like my grandmother always said... 185 00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:43,530 An erect penis doesn't have a conscience. 186 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,677 Even the limp ones aren't that ethical. 187 00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,874 This is half the reason I joined the nra. 188 00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,536 Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences, 189 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,137 I wanted it in the back of his mind 190 00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,809 that he had a loving wife at home 191 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,550 with a loaded Smith and Wesson. 192 00:08:54,574 --> 00:08:57,544 Lynnie, Tom's always away on business. 193 00:08:57,568 --> 00:08:58,885 Do you ever worry he might? 194 00:08:58,909 --> 00:09:00,617 Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant 195 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,649 three times in four years. 196 00:09:02,673 --> 00:09:05,300 I wish he was having sex with someone else. 197 00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:08,094 Ha ha ha. 198 00:09:08,118 --> 00:09:10,878 So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman? 199 00:09:13,824 --> 00:09:15,334 I don't know. 200 00:09:19,329 --> 00:09:23,670 I'm sorry, you guys. I just... 201 00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:26,681 I just don't know how I'm going to survive this. 202 00:09:26,705 --> 00:09:29,646 Listen to me. 203 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,670 We all have moments of desperation. 204 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,327 But if we can face them head-on, 205 00:09:35,351 --> 00:09:38,645 that's when we find out just how strong we really are. 206 00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:46,633 Susan. 207 00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:47,694 Susan. 208 00:09:47,718 --> 00:09:49,035 I was just saying 209 00:09:49,059 --> 00:09:50,637 Paul wants us to go over on Friday. 210 00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:52,338 He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closet 211 00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:53,770 and help pack up her things. 212 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,281 He said he can't face doing it by himself. 213 00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,943 Sure. That's fine. 214 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:59,205 Are you okay? 215 00:09:59,229 --> 00:10:01,047 Yeah. 216 00:10:01,071 --> 00:10:02,949 I'm just so angry. 217 00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,686 If Mary Alice was having problems, 218 00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:05,952 she should have come to us. 219 00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:07,684 She should have let us help her. 220 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,155 What kind of problems could she have had? 221 00:10:09,179 --> 00:10:10,657 She was healthy, 222 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,958 had a great home, a nice family. 223 00:10:11,982 --> 00:10:13,119 Her life was... 224 00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:15,293 Our life. 225 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,965 No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, 226 00:10:18,989 --> 00:10:20,667 we'd have known. 227 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:22,769 She lives 50 feet away, for god's sakes. 228 00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:24,936 Gabby, the woman killed herself. 229 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,825 Something must have been going on. 230 00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:41,617 I wouldn't eat that if I were you. 231 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,689 Why? 232 00:10:42,713 --> 00:10:44,343 I made it. Trust me. 233 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:49,756 Hey, hey, do you... Do you have a death wish? 234 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:50,857 No, I just refuse to believe 235 00:10:50,881 --> 00:10:52,781 that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese. 236 00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,863 Oh, my god. 237 00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:58,705 How did you... 238 00:10:58,729 --> 00:11:01,968 It tastes like it's burned andundercooked. 239 00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:03,810 Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go. 240 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:05,311 Ha ha. 241 00:11:05,335 --> 00:11:07,173 Um... 242 00:11:07,197 --> 00:11:08,644 Ha ha. Thanks. 243 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,116 I'm Mike Delfino. 244 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:12,348 I just started renting the Simms house next door. 245 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,151 Susan Mayer. I live across the street. 246 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,023 Oh, yeah, Mrs. Huber told me about you. 247 00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:19,025 Said you illustrate children's books. 248 00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:21,657 Yeah, I'm very big with the under-5 set. 249 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,658 Ha ha ha. 250 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,990 What do you do? Plumber. 251 00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:27,264 So if you ever have a clog... 252 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,166 Or something. 253 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,269 Ha ha. 254 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,380 Now that everybody's seen that I brought something, 255 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,005 I should probably just throw this out. 256 00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:40,769 Ha ha. 257 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:51,357 Ow. 258 00:11:51,381 --> 00:11:53,381 Ease up, you little vampire. 259 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:59,966 Lynette, I've been looking all over for you. 260 00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:02,769 Are you aware of what your sons are doing? 261 00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,763 Boy: Cannonball! 262 00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:16,943 What are you doing? 263 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:18,785 We are at a wake. 264 00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:20,817 When we got here, you said we could go in the pool. 265 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,289 I said you could gobythe pool. 266 00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:25,852 Do you have your swimsuits on? 267 00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,323 Yeah, we put them under our clothes 268 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,724 before we left. 269 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,757 You three planned this? All right. 270 00:12:30,781 --> 00:12:32,128 That's it. Get out! 271 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,430 No! No? 272 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,833 I am your mother. 273 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,434 You have to do what I say. Come on. 274 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,928 We want to swim, and you can't stop us! 275 00:12:49,499 --> 00:12:52,469 Here, father. 276 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,788 Get out, or I will get in this pool 277 00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:57,984 and just grab you. Get out! 278 00:12:58,008 --> 00:12:59,248 Get over here. 279 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:03,152 Get... get over here! 280 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,894 All right, give me your arm. Get back... 281 00:13:07,918 --> 00:13:11,497 You... ooh! 282 00:13:11,521 --> 00:13:13,069 Move it! 283 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,401 That's right! Get over here! 284 00:13:15,425 --> 00:13:17,243 Go, go, go, go, go! 285 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,045 Move it! 286 00:13:19,069 --> 00:13:20,229 Ugh. 287 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,235 Out! Get out! 288 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:37,023 Paul, we have to leave now. 289 00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:39,587 Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. 290 00:13:40,891 --> 00:13:42,899 Go. 291 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,940 Mary Alice: Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned 292 00:13:44,964 --> 00:13:46,272 about my husband. 293 00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:49,235 He had other things on his mind... 294 00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:51,959 Things below the surface. 295 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:05,957 Mary Alice: The morning after my funeral, 296 00:14:05,981 --> 00:14:08,354 my friends and neighbors quietly went back 297 00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:10,857 to their busy, busy lives. 298 00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:16,102 While some did their cooking... 299 00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:19,966 And some did their cleaning... 300 00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,909 And some did their yoga... 301 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:26,042 Others did their homework. 302 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,343 Hi. Shh. 303 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,515 I'm Julie. 304 00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:31,878 I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard. 305 00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:34,850 Oh, okay. Well, let's go around and get it. 306 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:35,922 Stay. 307 00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:39,886 His wife died a year ago. He wanted to stay in L.A., 308 00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:41,557 but there were too many memories. 309 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,929 He's renting for tax purposes, 310 00:14:42,953 --> 00:14:44,931 but he hopes to buy a place real soon. 311 00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:45,992 I can't believe you went over there. 312 00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:47,563 Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake. 313 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,395 You're obviously into each other. 314 00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:51,437 Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out. 315 00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:53,639 Julie, I like Mr. Delfino, I do. 316 00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:54,870 I just, uh, 317 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,108 I don't even know if I'm ready to start dating yet. 318 00:14:57,132 --> 00:14:59,005 Oh, you need to get back out there. 319 00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:01,399 Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex? 320 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:05,517 Are you mad that I asked you that? 321 00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:07,353 No, I'm just trying to remember. 322 00:15:07,377 --> 00:15:09,285 I don't want to talk to you about my love life anymore. 323 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,886 It weirds me out. 324 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,089 I wouldn't have said anything. It's just... 325 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,460 What? 326 00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:16,327 I heard dad's girlfriend ask 327 00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,925 if you'd dated anyone since the divorce, 328 00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:21,489 and dad said he doubted it. 329 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,003 And then they both laughed. 330 00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:41,547 Hey. 331 00:15:41,571 --> 00:15:43,389 Susan. Hi, Mike. 332 00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,126 I brought you a little housewarming gift. 333 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,995 I probably should have brought something by earlier, but... 334 00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:51,027 Actually, you're the first in the neighborhood to stop by. 335 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,098 Really? 336 00:15:52,122 --> 00:15:54,000 Susan knew she was lucky. 337 00:15:54,024 --> 00:15:57,068 An eligible bachelor had moved onto Wisteria Lane, 338 00:15:57,092 --> 00:15:59,165 and she was the first to find out, 339 00:15:59,189 --> 00:16:01,437 but she also knew that good news... 340 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,408 Hello there! 341 00:16:02,432 --> 00:16:04,170 Travels quickly. 342 00:16:04,194 --> 00:16:06,421 Edie britt was the most predatory divorcée 343 00:16:06,445 --> 00:16:08,274 in a 5-block radius. 344 00:16:08,298 --> 00:16:10,568 Her conquests were numerous... 345 00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:15,583 Varied... 346 00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:19,547 And legendary. 347 00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:25,061 Hi, Susan. I hope I'm not interrupting. 348 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,463 You must be Mike Delfino. 349 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,734 Hi, I'm Edie. 350 00:16:28,758 --> 00:16:30,296 Britt. 351 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,298 I live over there. 352 00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:34,740 Welcome to Wisteria Lane. 353 00:16:34,764 --> 00:16:39,075 Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut. 354 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,177 Thank you. Ha ha. What's this? 355 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,009 Sausage putanesca. 356 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:45,260 It's just something I threw together. 357 00:16:45,284 --> 00:16:47,153 Well, thanks, Edie. Ha ha. 358 00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:50,156 That's great. 359 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,058 I'd invite you both in, 360 00:16:52,082 --> 00:16:53,159 but I was sort of in the middle of something. 361 00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:54,420 Oh, I... no problem. 362 00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:56,001 I'm late for an appointment. I just wanted to say hi. 363 00:16:56,025 --> 00:16:57,123 And just like that, 364 00:16:57,147 --> 00:16:59,995 the race for Mike Delfino had begun. 365 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,627 For a moment, Susan wondered 366 00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:04,570 if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly. 367 00:17:04,594 --> 00:17:07,503 Oh, Mike. I heard you're a plumber? 368 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,576 But she was reminded that when it came to men... 369 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,079 Do you think you could stop by later tonight 370 00:17:13,103 --> 00:17:15,341 and take a look at my pipes? 371 00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,443 Women don't fight fair. Sure. 372 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:19,467 Thanks. 373 00:17:25,115 --> 00:17:26,115 Bye, Susan. 374 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,595 You can't order me around like I'm a child. 375 00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:31,026 Gabrielle. 376 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,298 No. No, no, no. I'm not going. 377 00:17:32,322 --> 00:17:33,599 It's business. 378 00:17:33,623 --> 00:17:35,070 Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives. 379 00:17:35,094 --> 00:17:37,803 Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass. 380 00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:40,035 Ha ha. I made over $200,000 381 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,737 doing business with him last year. 382 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,731 If he wants to grab your ass, you let him. 383 00:17:53,143 --> 00:17:54,380 John. Ow. 384 00:17:54,404 --> 00:17:57,083 Mr. Solis. You scared me. 385 00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:59,085 Why is that bush still there? 386 00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:01,687 You were supposed to dig it up last week. I didn't have time last week. 387 00:18:01,711 --> 00:18:03,229 I don't want to hear your excuses. 388 00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:06,463 Just take care of it. 389 00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:10,636 I really hate the way you talk to me. 390 00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:12,138 And I really hate 391 00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:14,170 that I spend $15,000 on your diamond necklace 392 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,677 that you couldn't live without, 393 00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,173 but I'm learning to deal with it. 394 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,074 So can I tell Tanaka 395 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,247 we'll be there tomorrow night? 396 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:22,748 John. 397 00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:25,116 We have bandages top shelf in the kitchen. 398 00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,305 Thanks, Mrs. Solis. 399 00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:32,458 Fine. I'll go. 400 00:18:32,482 --> 00:18:34,660 But I'm keeping my back pressed against the wall 401 00:18:34,684 --> 00:18:36,522 the entire time. 402 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:37,863 See? 403 00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:40,196 Now this is what a marriage is all about... 404 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,390 Compromise. 405 00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:49,104 Is your finger okay? 406 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,307 Yeah, yeah, it's just a small cut. 407 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,708 Let me see. 408 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,842 Hmm. 409 00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:10,826 You know, Mrs. Solis, 410 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:15,601 um, I really like it when we hook up, 411 00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:17,303 but, um, 412 00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:18,864 well, you know, I-I got to get my work done, 413 00:19:18,888 --> 00:19:22,468 and I can't afford to lose this job. 414 00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:26,442 This table is hand-carved. 415 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:27,843 Carlos had it imported from Italy. 416 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:32,278 It cost him $23,000. 417 00:19:32,302 --> 00:19:35,481 You want to do it on the table this time? 418 00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:38,605 Absolutely. 419 00:19:52,822 --> 00:19:55,341 Why can't we ever have normal soup? 420 00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:57,203 Danielle, there is nothing abnormal 421 00:19:57,227 --> 00:19:58,274 about basil puree. 422 00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,705 Just once, 423 00:19:59,729 --> 00:20:02,248 couldn't we have a soup that people have heard of? 424 00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:04,250 Like French onion or Navy bean. 425 00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:07,283 First of all, your father can't eat onions. 426 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,654 He's deathly allergic. 427 00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:10,216 And I won't even dignify your Navy bean suggestion. 428 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,318 So... 429 00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:14,360 How's the osso buco? 430 00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:16,362 It's okay. 431 00:20:16,386 --> 00:20:17,563 It's okay? 432 00:20:17,587 --> 00:20:19,865 Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal. 433 00:20:19,889 --> 00:20:22,498 How do you think it makes me feel 434 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,200 when you say "it's okay" in that sullen tone? 435 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,364 Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner? 436 00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:31,859 Excuse me? 437 00:20:33,363 --> 00:20:35,386 Tim Harper's mom gets home from work, 438 00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:37,313 pops open a can of pork and beans, 439 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,245 and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy. 440 00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:41,387 You'd rather I serve pork and beans? 441 00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:43,289 Apologize now. I am begging. 442 00:20:43,313 --> 00:20:45,396 I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? 443 00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:46,692 Can't we ever just have food? 444 00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:47,893 Are you doing drugs? What? 445 00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,695 Change in behavior is one of the warning signs, 446 00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:51,827 and you have been as fresh as paint 447 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,829 for the last six months. 448 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,230 That certainly would explain 449 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,811 why you're always locked in the bathroom. 450 00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:58,434 Trust me, that is not what he is doing. 451 00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,436 Shut up. 452 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,237 Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right? 453 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,609 You're the one always acting 454 00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:05,620 like she's running for mayor of Stepford. 455 00:21:05,644 --> 00:21:07,373 Rex. 456 00:21:07,397 --> 00:21:08,814 Seeing that you're the head of this household, 457 00:21:08,838 --> 00:21:11,738 I would really appreciate you saying something. 458 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,753 Pass the salt? 459 00:21:31,861 --> 00:21:33,669 Mary Alice: Three days after my funeral, 460 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:37,410 Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion... 461 00:21:37,434 --> 00:21:39,004 Indignation. 462 00:21:39,028 --> 00:21:40,876 Tom, this is my fifth message, 463 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,878 and you still haven't called me back. 464 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,419 Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip. 465 00:21:45,443 --> 00:21:46,952 I can only imagine. 466 00:21:46,976 --> 00:21:48,454 Well, guess what... 467 00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,716 The kids and I want to have some fun, too, 468 00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:52,358 so unless you call me back by noon, 469 00:21:52,382 --> 00:21:53,919 we are getting on a plane and joining you. 470 00:21:53,943 --> 00:21:55,491 Mom! 471 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,723 Not now, honey. Mommy's threatening daddy. 472 00:21:57,747 --> 00:21:59,595 Mom. No, I... 473 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,797 Where are your brothers? 474 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,891 Noodles... my favorite. 475 00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:11,907 Lynette Scavo? 476 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,078 Crap. 477 00:22:13,102 --> 00:22:16,782 Natalie klein. I don't believe it. 478 00:22:16,806 --> 00:22:18,584 Lynette. How long has it been? 479 00:22:18,608 --> 00:22:20,315 Years. 480 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,948 Uh, how are you? How's the firm? 481 00:22:22,972 --> 00:22:23,949 Good. 482 00:22:23,973 --> 00:22:25,351 Everyone misses you. 483 00:22:25,375 --> 00:22:27,092 Yeah. 484 00:22:27,116 --> 00:22:28,323 We all say if you hadn't quit, 485 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,695 you'd be running the place by now. 486 00:22:29,719 --> 00:22:32,398 Yeah, well... 487 00:22:32,422 --> 00:22:33,699 So... 488 00:22:33,723 --> 00:22:36,602 How's domestic life? 489 00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:39,365 Don't you just love being a mom? 490 00:22:39,389 --> 00:22:40,936 And there it was... 491 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,369 The question that Lynette always dreaded. 492 00:22:43,393 --> 00:22:45,371 Well, to be honest... 493 00:22:45,395 --> 00:22:49,875 For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable, 494 00:22:49,899 --> 00:22:51,547 so Lynette responded as she always did. 495 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,018 She lied. 496 00:22:53,042 --> 00:22:56,482 It's the best job I've ever had. 497 00:22:58,047 --> 00:22:59,977 Boy: Oh, yeah. 498 00:23:02,612 --> 00:23:07,362 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 499 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,864 You know what I don't get? 500 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:09,895 What? 501 00:23:09,919 --> 00:23:12,059 Why you married Mr. Solis. 502 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,473 Well... 503 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:21,046 He promised to give me everything I've ever wanted. 504 00:23:21,070 --> 00:23:23,008 And did he? 505 00:23:23,032 --> 00:23:25,481 Yes. 506 00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:28,414 Then why aren't you happy? 507 00:23:28,438 --> 00:23:33,489 Turns out I wanted all the wrong things. 508 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:37,563 So do you love him? 509 00:23:37,587 --> 00:23:38,964 I do. 510 00:23:38,988 --> 00:23:41,467 Well, then, why are we here? 511 00:23:41,491 --> 00:23:42,798 Why are we doing this? 512 00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:45,070 Because I don't want to wake up one morning 513 00:23:45,094 --> 00:23:47,504 with a sudden urge to blow my brains out. 514 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,479 Hey, can I have a drag? 515 00:23:53,503 --> 00:23:55,581 Absolutely not. 516 00:23:55,605 --> 00:23:58,005 You are much too young to smoke. 517 00:23:59,869 --> 00:24:02,448 Ah. How would you feel about me using 518 00:24:02,472 --> 00:24:04,590 your child-support payments for plastic surgery? 519 00:24:04,614 --> 00:24:05,897 Stop being so nervous. 520 00:24:05,921 --> 00:24:08,153 You're just asking him out to dinner. It's no big deal. 521 00:24:08,177 --> 00:24:10,596 You're right. 522 00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:12,828 So is that your project for school? 523 00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,900 You know, when I was in fifth grade, 524 00:24:14,924 --> 00:24:16,171 I made the white house out of sugar cubes. 525 00:24:16,195 --> 00:24:17,733 Stop stalling and go 526 00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:19,835 before Mike figures out he can do better. 527 00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:23,739 Tell me again why I fought for custody of you. 528 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,871 You were using me to hurt dad. 529 00:24:25,895 --> 00:24:28,595 Oh, that's right. 530 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,200 Oh, god. 531 00:24:39,749 --> 00:24:41,026 Hi. 532 00:24:41,050 --> 00:24:42,588 Hey, Susan. 533 00:24:42,612 --> 00:24:44,630 Are you busy? 534 00:24:44,654 --> 00:24:45,901 No, not at all. What's up? 535 00:24:45,925 --> 00:24:47,633 Well, I... 536 00:24:47,657 --> 00:24:50,065 I just, uh, was wondering if, um... 537 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:54,069 If there was any chance that you, uh... 538 00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:58,974 I-I just wanted to ask if... 539 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:01,607 Edie. 540 00:25:01,631 --> 00:25:02,778 Hey there, Susan. 541 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,179 What are you... 542 00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:05,920 I was making ambrosia, and I made too much, 543 00:25:05,944 --> 00:25:08,105 so I thought I'd bring some over to Mike. 544 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:10,686 What's going on? 545 00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:12,470 Uh, Susan was just going to ask me something. 546 00:25:18,588 --> 00:25:20,195 I have a clog. 547 00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:22,127 Excuse me? 548 00:25:22,151 --> 00:25:23,569 And you're a plumber, right? 549 00:25:23,593 --> 00:25:24,570 Yeah. 550 00:25:24,594 --> 00:25:26,131 The clog's in the pipe. 551 00:25:26,155 --> 00:25:28,133 Yeah, that's usually where they are. 552 00:25:28,157 --> 00:25:30,075 Well, I've got one. 553 00:25:30,099 --> 00:25:32,037 Oh, okay. Well, uh, let me get my tools. 554 00:25:32,061 --> 00:25:34,009 Now? You want to come over now? 555 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:35,811 You have company. 556 00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:37,242 I don't mind. 557 00:25:37,266 --> 00:25:39,645 Yeah, just give me two minutes. 558 00:25:39,669 --> 00:25:40,769 I'll be right over. 559 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,758 That's it. Just stuff the hair down there. 560 00:25:52,782 --> 00:25:54,560 I stuffed it. It's not enough to clog it. 561 00:25:54,584 --> 00:25:56,702 Here. Okay, look. 562 00:25:56,726 --> 00:25:58,186 Put in this peanut butter. 563 00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:02,237 And this cooking oil. 564 00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:04,940 Mom... and these olives. 565 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:06,812 Mom, I'm telling you, it's not working. 566 00:26:07,837 --> 00:26:09,274 Oh, god. 567 00:26:09,298 --> 00:26:10,576 That's him. 568 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,300 How am I going to stop up the sink? 569 00:26:20,610 --> 00:26:23,729 Well, here's your problem. 570 00:26:23,753 --> 00:26:24,990 Looks like somebody stuffed 571 00:26:25,014 --> 00:26:26,937 a bunch of Popsicle sticks down here. 572 00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:30,195 I've told Julie a million times not to play in the kitchen. 573 00:26:30,219 --> 00:26:32,297 Kids, you know? 574 00:26:32,321 --> 00:26:34,291 Ha ha. 575 00:26:37,066 --> 00:26:39,074 All right, I'll go put in your orders, 576 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,746 and I'll be right back with your drinks 577 00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:41,977 and your plates for the salad bar. 578 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:43,308 Thank you. 579 00:26:43,332 --> 00:26:47,052 Andrew, Danielle, napkins? 580 00:26:47,076 --> 00:26:50,585 They have video games. 581 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,988 Could we go play until our food gets here? 582 00:26:53,012 --> 00:26:54,790 Andrew, this is family time. 583 00:26:54,814 --> 00:26:57,294 I think that we should all... go ahead and play. 584 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,103 I know that you think I'm angry about coming here, 585 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:09,635 but I'm not. 586 00:27:09,659 --> 00:27:11,306 You and the kids wanted a change of pace, 587 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:12,878 something fun. 588 00:27:12,902 --> 00:27:14,609 I get it. 589 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,647 Probably we'll want something healthier 590 00:27:16,671 --> 00:27:18,013 tomorrow night, though. 591 00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,945 I'm thinking about chicken saltimbocca. 592 00:27:19,969 --> 00:27:23,388 I want a divorce. 593 00:27:23,412 --> 00:27:27,993 I just can't live in this... 594 00:27:28,017 --> 00:27:30,325 This detergent commercial anymore. 595 00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,898 The salad bar's right over there. 596 00:27:32,922 --> 00:27:34,700 Help yourself. 597 00:27:34,724 --> 00:27:36,832 Thank you. 598 00:27:36,856 --> 00:27:42,226 Um, I think I'll go get your salad for you. 599 00:27:53,843 --> 00:27:56,081 Bree Van De Kamp. 600 00:27:56,105 --> 00:27:57,122 Oh. 601 00:27:57,146 --> 00:27:58,824 Hello, Mrs. Huber. 602 00:27:58,848 --> 00:28:01,827 We didn't get a chance to talk at Mary Alice's wake. 603 00:28:01,851 --> 00:28:03,859 How are you doing? 604 00:28:03,883 --> 00:28:06,431 Bree longed to share the truth 605 00:28:06,455 --> 00:28:09,695 about her husband's painful betrayal, 606 00:28:09,719 --> 00:28:11,066 but sadly for Bree, 607 00:28:11,090 --> 00:28:13,238 admitting defeat was not an option. 608 00:28:13,262 --> 00:28:14,900 Great. 609 00:28:14,924 --> 00:28:17,703 Everything is just great. 610 00:28:17,727 --> 00:28:19,945 Okay, well, I got you the honey mustard dressing. 611 00:28:19,969 --> 00:28:22,699 The ranch looked just a little bit suspect. 612 00:28:31,741 --> 00:28:34,419 Are we going to talk about what I said? 613 00:28:34,443 --> 00:28:35,866 If you think I'm going to discuss 614 00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:37,763 the dissolution of my marriage in a place 615 00:28:37,787 --> 00:28:39,825 where the restrooms are labeled "chicks" and "dudes," 616 00:28:39,849 --> 00:28:41,389 you're out of your mind. 617 00:28:43,753 --> 00:28:45,470 What's in this? 618 00:28:45,494 --> 00:28:47,738 What do you mean, what's in this? It's salad. 619 00:28:47,762 --> 00:28:49,805 With... with onions? 620 00:28:49,829 --> 00:28:50,976 What? 621 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,778 You put onions in my salad. 622 00:28:52,802 --> 00:28:54,109 No, I didn't. 623 00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,145 Oh, wait. 624 00:29:08,417 --> 00:29:10,896 The sound that awakened my son 625 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,727 was something he'd heard only once before, 626 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:17,302 many years ago when he was quite young, 627 00:29:17,326 --> 00:29:21,326 but he recognized it instantly. 628 00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:31,467 It was the sound of a family secret. 629 00:29:56,525 --> 00:29:58,844 Mary Alice: Seven days after my funeral, 630 00:29:58,868 --> 00:30:03,178 life on Wisteria Lane finally returned to normal, 631 00:30:03,202 --> 00:30:05,272 which, for some of my friends... 632 00:30:06,876 --> 00:30:07,976 Was unfortunate. 633 00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:10,485 Mommy, mommy! 634 00:30:10,509 --> 00:30:12,557 Now what? 635 00:30:12,581 --> 00:30:14,119 Daddy's home! 636 00:30:15,845 --> 00:30:17,492 Ha ha. 637 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,194 Hey, is anybody home? 638 00:30:19,218 --> 00:30:21,166 Hey! 639 00:30:21,190 --> 00:30:23,168 Hey. 640 00:30:23,192 --> 00:30:24,970 I wasn't expecting you for a week. 641 00:30:24,994 --> 00:30:27,502 I have to go back to frisco in the morning, 642 00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,504 but I got your call. You sounded a little frazzled. 643 00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:31,336 Yeah. 644 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,838 It's been a little rough. 645 00:30:32,862 --> 00:30:34,439 Hi. Yeah. Mmm, peaches. 646 00:30:34,463 --> 00:30:36,316 Daddy, did you bring us any presents? 647 00:30:36,340 --> 00:30:39,165 Oh, god, presents. Wait a minute. Let me see. 648 00:30:42,411 --> 00:30:45,550 Oh. 649 00:30:45,574 --> 00:30:47,357 But I'm not going to give it to you 650 00:30:47,381 --> 00:30:49,254 unless you promise me to go outside right now 651 00:30:49,278 --> 00:30:51,296 and practice throwing it for 20 minutes, okay? 652 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:52,858 You promise? 653 00:30:52,882 --> 00:30:55,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Get out of here. Go. 654 00:30:55,024 --> 00:30:58,833 Who's open? Go out! Deeper! Deeper! 655 00:30:58,857 --> 00:30:59,965 Touchdown! 656 00:30:59,989 --> 00:31:02,489 Oh, my god. Oh. 657 00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:04,940 Ha ha ha. 658 00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,411 Oh. 659 00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:08,843 Oh, you got to be kidding. 660 00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:10,916 I'm exhausted. I look terrible. 661 00:31:10,940 --> 00:31:12,577 I'm covered in peaches. 662 00:31:12,601 --> 00:31:14,619 That's all right, baby. I got to have you. 663 00:31:14,643 --> 00:31:18,223 Well, is it okay if I just lie here? 664 00:31:18,247 --> 00:31:21,326 Absolutely. Ha ha. 665 00:31:21,350 --> 00:31:23,058 Ha ha ha. 666 00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:24,489 I love you. 667 00:31:24,513 --> 00:31:27,432 And I love you more. 668 00:31:27,456 --> 00:31:28,863 Oh, baby. 669 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,165 Oh, wait, I got to tell you, 670 00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:31,296 I was having trouble with swelling, 671 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,637 so the doctor took me off the pill, 672 00:31:32,661 --> 00:31:33,899 so you're just going to have to put on a condom. 673 00:31:33,923 --> 00:31:34,900 Condom? 674 00:31:34,924 --> 00:31:36,001 Yeah. 675 00:31:36,025 --> 00:31:37,402 What's the big deal? Let's risk it. 676 00:31:37,426 --> 00:31:39,344 Let's risk it? 677 00:31:39,368 --> 00:31:41,298 Yeah. 678 00:31:45,334 --> 00:31:47,244 Oh. 679 00:31:50,479 --> 00:31:52,487 I can't believe you tried to kill me. 680 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:54,589 Yes, well, I feel badly about that. 681 00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:57,600 I told you, Mrs. Huber came over, and I got distracted. 682 00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,424 It was a mistake. 683 00:31:59,448 --> 00:32:00,665 Since when do you make mistakes? 684 00:32:00,689 --> 00:32:03,368 What's that supposed to mean? 685 00:32:03,392 --> 00:32:07,572 It means I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time. 686 00:32:07,596 --> 00:32:11,306 I-I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move. 687 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:13,338 I'm sick of you making our bed in the morning 688 00:32:13,362 --> 00:32:15,440 before I've even used the bathroom. 689 00:32:15,464 --> 00:32:18,113 You're this plastic suburban housewife 690 00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:19,644 with her pearls and her spatula 691 00:32:19,668 --> 00:32:23,208 who says things like "we owe the Hendersons a dinner." 692 00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:27,684 Where's the woman I fell in love with... 693 00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:32,257 Who used to burn the toast 694 00:32:32,281 --> 00:32:34,251 and drink milk out of the carton... 695 00:32:36,325 --> 00:32:38,325 And laugh? 696 00:32:40,629 --> 00:32:43,938 I need her. 697 00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:46,672 Not this cold, perfect thing you've become. 698 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:55,472 These need water. 699 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,236 Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom 700 00:33:11,260 --> 00:33:12,737 for five minutes, 701 00:33:12,761 --> 00:33:16,141 but her husband never knew, 702 00:33:16,165 --> 00:33:20,505 because when Bree finally emerged... 703 00:33:20,529 --> 00:33:24,769 She was perfect. 704 00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,717 I found my earrings. We can go now. 705 00:33:32,741 --> 00:33:34,219 Was John here today? 706 00:33:34,243 --> 00:33:36,721 Well, yeah. 707 00:33:36,745 --> 00:33:39,124 The lawn hasn't been mowed. 708 00:33:39,148 --> 00:33:40,365 I've had it. 709 00:33:40,389 --> 00:33:41,766 We're getting a real gardener. 710 00:33:41,790 --> 00:33:43,198 Why? Are you deaf? 711 00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:45,730 I just said he's not doing his job. 712 00:33:45,754 --> 00:33:49,038 It's dark. You just can't see that the lawn has been mowed. 713 00:33:49,062 --> 00:33:50,735 It hasn't been. Feel this grass. 714 00:33:50,759 --> 00:33:52,006 I'm not feeling the grass. 715 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,708 Let's just get going. Come on. 716 00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:55,102 We're late. 717 00:34:01,210 --> 00:34:03,470 Take care of it. Yes, sir. 718 00:34:09,318 --> 00:34:11,756 There's Tanaka. 719 00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:13,798 Time for me to go into my dance. 720 00:34:13,822 --> 00:34:15,152 Good luck, sweetheart. 721 00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,034 Oh, excuse me. Ma'am? 722 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:22,667 You see that man who just walked away? 723 00:34:22,691 --> 00:34:24,739 Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand 724 00:34:24,763 --> 00:34:27,512 all night long? 725 00:34:27,536 --> 00:34:29,596 Yes, ma'am. 726 00:34:56,825 --> 00:34:58,125 Ooh! 727 00:35:03,702 --> 00:35:05,102 Ooh! 728 00:36:09,198 --> 00:36:11,246 Susan? 729 00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:12,847 Susan. 730 00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:14,419 Oh, Mrs. Huber, how you doing? 731 00:36:14,443 --> 00:36:15,680 Not too well, I'm afraid. 732 00:36:15,704 --> 00:36:18,531 I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach. 733 00:36:18,555 --> 00:36:19,824 Oh, it's upset? 734 00:36:19,848 --> 00:36:21,155 Yeah. 735 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,757 I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake. 736 00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:24,329 It's been running through me ever since. 737 00:36:24,353 --> 00:36:25,330 Oh. 738 00:36:25,354 --> 00:36:26,937 And I need to be at my best. 739 00:36:26,961 --> 00:36:29,494 Edie britt's son is spending the night tonight. 740 00:36:29,518 --> 00:36:32,197 He's spending the night? 741 00:36:32,221 --> 00:36:33,738 Apparently, Edie is having a gentleman friend 742 00:36:33,762 --> 00:36:35,200 over for dinner, 743 00:36:35,224 --> 00:36:37,177 and I think she plans on entertaining 744 00:36:37,201 --> 00:36:39,895 into the wee hours, if you know what I mean. 745 00:36:41,530 --> 00:36:42,947 Oh, here's some antacid. 746 00:36:42,971 --> 00:36:46,311 Have you ever tried this? 747 00:36:46,335 --> 00:36:47,652 I can't believe it. 748 00:36:47,676 --> 00:36:48,953 This can't be happening. 749 00:36:48,977 --> 00:36:51,716 Mike can't like Edie better than me. He just can't. 750 00:36:51,740 --> 00:36:53,187 You don't know what's going on. 751 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,241 Maybe they're just having dinner. 752 00:36:56,245 --> 00:36:58,885 You're right. They're doing it. 753 00:37:12,501 --> 00:37:13,831 Edie? 754 00:37:25,414 --> 00:37:26,754 Edie? 755 00:37:32,681 --> 00:37:34,299 Hello? 756 00:37:34,323 --> 00:37:35,683 Anybody home? 757 00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,805 I need to borrow sugar. 758 00:37:40,829 --> 00:37:42,236 Marvin gaye: ♪ come on ♪ 759 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,309 ♪ Oh, come on ♪ 760 00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:45,610 ♪ Whoo ♪ 761 00:37:45,634 --> 00:37:47,972 ♪ Let's get it on ♪ 762 00:37:47,996 --> 00:37:51,245 ♪ Ow, baby ♪ 763 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:54,719 ♪ Let's get it on ♪ 764 00:37:54,743 --> 00:37:56,921 ♪ Let's love, baby ♪ 765 00:37:56,945 --> 00:37:57,922 ♪ Let's get it on ♪ 766 00:37:57,946 --> 00:37:58,983 Edie: Oh, my god. 767 00:37:59,007 --> 00:38:00,485 Oh, yes. 768 00:38:00,509 --> 00:38:02,387 Oh, my god. Give it to me. 769 00:38:02,411 --> 00:38:04,289 Mary Alice: And just like that, 770 00:38:04,313 --> 00:38:06,540 the possibility Susan had clung to, 771 00:38:06,564 --> 00:38:09,694 the maybe of Mike Delfino, 772 00:38:09,718 --> 00:38:13,868 was gone forever. 773 00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:16,349 And despite the precariousness of her situation, 774 00:38:16,373 --> 00:38:19,565 Susan took a moment to mourn her loss. 775 00:38:30,939 --> 00:38:31,986 Oh! 776 00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:34,040 Oh, my god. 777 00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:41,417 Oh! Oh. 778 00:38:45,594 --> 00:38:49,003 It didn't take Susan long to realize 779 00:38:49,027 --> 00:38:51,836 this was just not her night. 780 00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:53,678 Edie: Is somebody out there? 781 00:38:55,634 --> 00:38:58,074 Oh, my god! That's smoke! 782 00:39:04,072 --> 00:39:07,892 Woman on radio: Code 14, call firefighters 130, 92, 783 00:39:07,916 --> 00:39:11,616 scout 24, patrolman 42... 784 00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:18,363 Candles unattended in the den. 785 00:39:18,387 --> 00:39:21,005 Paramedics said she was lucky. She could have been killed. 786 00:39:21,029 --> 00:39:22,066 Oh. 787 00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:24,369 She ran out with nothing on. 788 00:39:24,393 --> 00:39:27,020 She was having sex with some guy when the fire started. 789 00:39:27,044 --> 00:39:29,043 What happened to him? 790 00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:31,576 He got smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital. 791 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,379 Susan, are you all right? 792 00:39:34,403 --> 00:39:35,880 You look awful. 793 00:39:35,904 --> 00:39:37,782 I'm fine. I'm fine. 794 00:39:37,806 --> 00:39:39,724 I-I just, uh... 795 00:39:39,748 --> 00:39:43,388 Feel really bad for Edie. 796 00:39:43,412 --> 00:39:44,489 Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. 797 00:39:44,513 --> 00:39:45,690 She's a strong lady. 798 00:39:45,714 --> 00:39:46,691 Absolutely. 799 00:39:46,715 --> 00:39:47,962 She'll get through this. 800 00:39:47,986 --> 00:39:49,894 She'll find a way to survive. 801 00:39:49,918 --> 00:39:52,388 We all do. 802 00:39:54,963 --> 00:39:56,123 Come on. 803 00:39:57,626 --> 00:40:00,775 Are you ready? 804 00:40:00,799 --> 00:40:04,749 She's lucky to be alive. 805 00:40:04,773 --> 00:40:07,483 All the other houses could have caught on fire. 806 00:40:14,142 --> 00:40:15,760 Wow, what happened? 807 00:40:15,784 --> 00:40:17,662 Mike. 808 00:40:17,686 --> 00:40:19,424 And suddenly, there he was, 809 00:40:19,448 --> 00:40:21,095 like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. 810 00:40:21,119 --> 00:40:24,068 I-I thought you were... 811 00:40:24,092 --> 00:40:25,900 Uh, where were you? 812 00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:27,811 I just got back from the movies. 813 00:40:27,835 --> 00:40:29,634 Edie had a fire, huh? 814 00:40:29,658 --> 00:40:31,075 Yeah. 815 00:40:31,099 --> 00:40:34,709 Yeah, but she's fine now. 816 00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:36,180 Everything's fine now. 817 00:40:36,204 --> 00:40:40,184 And just like that, Susan was happy. 818 00:40:40,208 --> 00:40:42,086 Life was suddenly full of... 819 00:40:42,110 --> 00:40:44,110 Possibilities. 820 00:40:49,478 --> 00:40:53,478 Not to mention a few unexpected surprises. 821 00:40:57,856 --> 00:40:58,833 Man: Hello? 822 00:40:58,857 --> 00:40:59,904 Hey, it's me. 823 00:40:59,928 --> 00:41:01,165 Do you have anything yet? 824 00:41:01,189 --> 00:41:03,708 No. No, nothing yet, but don't worry. 825 00:41:03,732 --> 00:41:06,462 I'm definitely getting closer. 826 00:41:14,242 --> 00:41:16,521 Susan: I brought some champagne. 827 00:41:16,545 --> 00:41:18,182 I thought we should have a toast. 828 00:41:18,206 --> 00:41:20,454 The next day, my friends came together 829 00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,858 to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings, 830 00:41:23,882 --> 00:41:26,522 and what was left of my life. 831 00:41:28,517 --> 00:41:30,695 All right, ladies, lift 'em up. 832 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:31,966 To Mary Alice... 833 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,868 A good friend and neighbor. 834 00:41:33,892 --> 00:41:36,040 Wherever you are, we hope you've found peace. 835 00:41:36,064 --> 00:41:37,051 Bree: To Mary Alice. 836 00:41:37,075 --> 00:41:39,095 To Mary Alice. 837 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,557 Let's get this show on the road. 838 00:41:47,581 --> 00:41:50,184 You guys check out Mary Alice's clothes? 839 00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:52,216 Size 8? Ha. 840 00:41:52,240 --> 00:41:54,519 She always told me she was a size 6. 841 00:41:54,543 --> 00:41:56,490 Guess we found the skeleton in her closet. 842 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,963 Not quite, Gabrielle. Not quite. 843 00:41:58,987 --> 00:42:00,525 What's that? 844 00:42:00,549 --> 00:42:02,496 It's a letter addressed to Mary Alice. 845 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:03,898 How ironic... 846 00:42:03,922 --> 00:42:06,739 To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret 847 00:42:06,763 --> 00:42:08,703 treated so casually. 848 00:42:08,727 --> 00:42:10,504 What are you doing? That's private. 849 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,158 It's open. What's the big deal? 850 00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:25,820 What does this mean? 851 00:42:25,844 --> 00:42:27,231 I don't know, but check out the postmark. 852 00:42:27,255 --> 00:42:30,524 Oh, my god. She got it the day she died. 853 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,598 Do you think this is why she... 854 00:42:33,622 --> 00:42:36,530 I'm so sorry, girls. 855 00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:39,194 I never wanted you to be burdened with this. 856 00:42:40,889 --> 00:42:44,229 Oh, Mary Alice, what did you do?