1 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,280 [tuning instruments] 2 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:27,920 Recording title column, part 1. You are welcome, master. 3 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,920 [upbeat music] 4 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,800 - Pass! - Pull! 5 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,520 - Behind! - To me! 6 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,680 Pass it here! 7 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,680 Pull to me! 8 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,360 Don't you ever pass it? Hurry up! 9 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,480 - Pull at me! - Ocio! 10 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,240 Ouch! Penalty! Foul on the goalkeeper. Dangerous play. 11 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,880 - Not true. - Penalty. 12 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,960 - Rule of advantage. - It's not fair, though. 13 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:47,600 Today we will remember the pain Of our Lord and his ordeal. 14 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:54,040 Physical and moral pain for which even the face and eye have suffered 15 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,360 Because you don't have to do to others What you don't want to. 16 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:03,440 Sport is fun and the important thing is to participate. 17 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,400 As long as you play you play, if it's for real. 18 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:14,680 But it does not end there, as we are reminded by Ia parable of the careless child. 19 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,440 Mass is over, go in peace. 20 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,200 - And you, what do you want? - I have to make a confession. 21 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,840 - But you confessed last night! - I have to do it again. 22 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,560 All right! 23 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,120 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Praise be to Jesus. 24 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,320 - Always be praised. - Well? 25 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:55,520 I had just returned from fox hunting 26 00:04:55,760 --> 00:05:00,040 And suddenly I have Robert Redford into the sauna. 27 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,880 He had been courting me for a long time And he was very excited. 28 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,120 He shouted, "I want you! I want to possess you here right now!" 29 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,040 I didn't want to, but we were naked.... 30 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:14,320 He raped me on the floor And our quivering bodies 31 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,600 Have joined in savage intercourse. 32 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,400 - All right, I absolve you. - But why? 33 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,800 For insufficient evidence. 34 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,960 From now on I give modern sermons. 35 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,000 One I do on fashion. 36 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:37,280 Haute couture, ready-to-wear and jeans with built-in gender issues. 37 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:42,040 A second sermon I give it on the oil crisis, 38 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:47,680 Middle Eastern issues and Palestine, sacred places of Jesus. 39 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:52,080 - The third one I do... - But what great to do? 40 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,840 He knows that no one comes to his sermons. 41 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,920 What is he doing in this country? Why doesn't he leave? 42 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,400 Who comes to the church? They are all communists. 43 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:07,000 To tell the truth, Berlinguer is just fine with me! 44 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,120 In fact, honest is honest, in fact we are taking steps 45 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,200 to grab even this large segment of the population. 46 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,920 - What's good? - Here's the menu. 47 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,240 I don't feel like reading, bring me the usual. 48 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:31,480 - And the egg is not there? - I drank it as is my right. 49 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:37,560 And tonight you make bruschetta with garlic and salt, because there is no oil. 50 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:42,360 - Did you forget to buy it? - Don't be funny! 51 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:47,880 It has been three months since I got the monthly payment. Three times seven, twenty-one. 52 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:53,960 If at the end of the month he doesn't pay me, I leave and he makes his own bed. 53 00:06:54,200 --> 00:07:00,120 Then resort to the bishop, the vicar, to the pontiff, to whomever you wish. 54 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:05,040 But I want the money! Twenty-one thousand lira. Understand? 55 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:08,640 These union claims make my appetite go away. 56 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,160 I watch some TV and then lie down. 57 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,040 UEFA Cup Final. 58 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:31,320 But buy yourself a television set instead of of watching other people's! 59 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:37,080 We will have our channel And then you will come and beg for forgiveness. 60 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,560 - [knock on door]. - Who is it? 61 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,760 Romeo, the letter carrier. Registered mail. 62 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,120 - It must be the money! - No, it's the curia. 63 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,320 - Unreadable signature, nothing important. - How do you know this? 64 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,520 Why do you read the mail And take an interest in other people's business? 65 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,840 Don Cimbolano, do you of all people ask me these questions? 66 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:01,600 You who for 2,000 years, Inside your filthy closets, 67 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,080 do you get people's facts? 68 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,600 The inquisition is over, we have arrived at Eurocommunism! 69 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,480 - What did you do to yourself? - I gave myself a hammering. 70 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,280 And what did you say as it happened? 71 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:17,440 "My poor finger! What an ache I got! 72 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,600 Me I have blown him up, Let's hope I don't have to amputate it." 73 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,360 But in my own words! 74 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,400 One thousand five hundred "Hail Marys." Out! 75 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:31,560 They warn that tomorrow comes a Protestant reverend 76 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,640 and you have to offer him help and maximum hospitality 77 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,600 as part of the hoped-for merger of the two churches, Protestant and Catholic. 78 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,159 What is this Protestant priest coming to do? 79 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,960 To document On the oldest parishes in Italy 80 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,880 And on the perpetual ball-breakers! 81 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,360 God, give me the strength to cross this valley of tears! 82 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,520 [loud noises] 83 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,320 What happened? 84 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,080 I am a Catholic priest, Fr. Cimbolano. 85 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,440 Maybe he has heard of me. 86 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:33,560 I lost control of the vehicle I am fond of. 87 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,920 I, too, am fond of to my station. 88 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,680 - Is there any delay? - Today is a strike. 89 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:09,280 - Couldn't you have told me earlier? - I don't talk to priests. 90 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,480 Sometimes I would tear up the Lateran Pacts! 91 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,640 [singing and playing] 92 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,840 ♪ Oh, my dear and good Jesus! ♪ 93 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,720 ♪ I'll never leave you again! ♪ 94 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,000 ♪ I'll never leave you again! ♪ 95 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:01,080 - And the applause starts. - Get the "teddy boys" out of my church! 96 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,640 Don Cimbolano, at last! 97 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:09,160 - Father John Martini. - Ouch, the finger! I fell off on the motorcycle. 98 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,560 - He was waiting for me, wasn't he? - Well... 99 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,320 - I was waiting for a clergyman. - Exactly. 100 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,680 As part of the merger of churches. 101 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,920 Ouch! This organ is most delicate, it should not be touched. 102 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,240 It must be played, otherwise it is ruined. 103 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:33,480 This is an 1860 Butti with screw mechanics. 104 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,000 I have one, too. 105 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,440 The tools are like women, flowers and furniture. 106 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:43,840 If they do not love each other, they wither and die. [speaking in English] No love, no life. 107 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,200 No love, no life. 108 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,560 - Even the furniture? - Of course. 109 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,800 Even this church Is not loved enough. 110 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:55,960 This is a 17th-century fresco, attributable to Guicciardini. 111 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,240 Most valuable, but completely ruined. 112 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,880 He falls apart Because you do nothing for him! Lazy man! 113 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,040 This church would be very beautiful. Look at the apse! 114 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:12,000 It's interesting, but look at all the cracks. 115 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:16,360 Maybe you made them With your big feet, be more careful! 116 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,400 Everything here is very interesting, 117 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:23,560 but symbolic Of your crumbling Catholic clergy. 118 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,840 Like this church that is held... 119 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,960 - What's the word? - Watertightness. 120 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,400 Watertight? But if there are holes in the ceiling! It's raining inside! 121 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:37,400 If while saying Mass it collapses on your head, whose fault is it? 122 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,080 Let's hear it. 123 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,920 - It's your fault, Cambolano. - Cambolano. 124 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:48,960 Help me carry the last bags to your rectory. 125 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:57,120 [Don Cimbolano] Now if the church falls down, it's my fault. 126 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,800 We are doing well! 127 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,920 Stays on. 128 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,400 Finally, I've been here for half an hour! 129 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:11,200 I told him it was at the station, but he wanted to see the church. 130 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,880 Come, I made you coffee. 131 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,680 - Good. - You bring the bags up! 132 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,280 [Don Cimbolano] This inhuman effort raises 133 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,040 My pissed-off spirit over coffee. 134 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,880 [in English] Is that you, Johnny? 135 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,440 [in English] What are you doing? 136 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,600 [in English] Enter. 137 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,440 Good, but tastes like lentil. What is it made of? 138 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,520 Of lentil. 139 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,480 Upstairs there is a with her boobs and head in her shirt. 140 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,560 Jersey? Wife. My wife! 141 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,600 All right, I got it. 142 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:05,240 Your sacrifice is not my initiative, it is written here. 143 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,400 I'm going to read to you now. It's coming from the Vatican. 144 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,680 "Father Martini and Mrs. are in Italy. 145 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:17,880 to document the parishes most disasters and local folklore. 146 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:24,120 The curia recommends that efforts be made to assist the distinguished guests." 147 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,760 They are not lies, it is written here. 148 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:33,240 If you want to meet me and commit suicide, I'll come by later. 149 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,000 Or do you want me to... 150 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,000 [in English] Diana, hurry up, it's ready! 151 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:46,360 - The mountain air makes one hungry. - To those who say so, father! 152 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,080 Who said to set the table? 153 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,920 No rash decisions! Clear? 154 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:02,120 We will have a good fast, which is good for us and makes Jesus happy. 155 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,960 This is one of the nonsense that separate our churches. 156 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,040 Fasting, penance, flagellation, maceration 157 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,920 They hurt men And do not serve God. 158 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,480 - And who convinces the hen? - What hen? 159 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,200 - Do you already know Diana? - Of course. 160 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,880 - Upstairs, do you remember? - I think I do. 161 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:27,800 We bought something to celebrate the meeting. 162 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,800 - Father John] You won't be offended, will you? - No. 163 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,320 - [in English] Frankfurters, fries... - [in English] Thank you. 164 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,160 Great! 165 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,040 - Mustard. - It is so good! 166 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,880 [in English] One moment, Diana. 167 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,160 Lord, we thank you for the food 168 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,920 that even today You have given to our table. 169 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,960 [All] Amen. 170 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,400 - Are you not eating? - It depends. 171 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,600 He is in religious abstinence, so do not insist. 172 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,320 [in English] I'm sorry. 173 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,000 Are they original German frankfurters? 174 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,680 Yes, and they are great. 175 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,280 - What about the mustard? - It is original German. 176 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,680 - I really like sauerkraut. - We have those, too. 177 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,800 - Enjoy your meal, everyone. - Thank you. 178 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:29,720 My wife studies primitive tribes. She is proud of her research. 179 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,400 - She took these pictures. - You can tell she studied! 180 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:39,680 These are the Tago-tago people, I have been with them several days. 181 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:44,520 - What fine young men! - [Diana] A primitive people, but noble. 182 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,920 Look at the elegance in their bodies, 183 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,800 What pride, what outstanding poise! 184 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,400 Beautiful costumes! 185 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,080 Too bad this passion keeps her away for months! 186 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,840 - And isn't he jealous? - But he is not Italian! 187 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,640 - I'm not Italian. - And instructive things? 188 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:09,680 Mountaineering, landscapes, plants and flowers, myths and legends... 189 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,120 - Here is the Rock of San Crispino. - We know that legend. 190 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,240 Another of the fibs Of your church. 191 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,760 My wife would like to go there. [in English] Do you want to go there? 192 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,880 [speaks in English] 193 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,840 She says if tomorrow he can accompany her to the Rock. 194 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,040 - Yes. - [in English] He said yes. 195 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,960 [speaking in English]. 196 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,040 Do you have a cigarette? 197 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,040 No, but we can go and buy them. 198 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,440 Good idea, so I will get to know the country. 199 00:18:53,680 --> 00:19:00,000 Wait for me in bed, Don Cimbolano lends us the guest room. 200 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,760 My room. 201 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,800 Thank you, you have been so sweetly hospitable! 202 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,160 - The bed will be narrow. - It's okay! 203 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,360 Diana and I usually sleep on top of each other! 204 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,720 Ah, that's it. 205 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:20,520 - She has a beautiful automobile! - It is very comfortable, a jewel. 206 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,920 - How much will it cost? - In Italy 20-25 million. 207 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,000 - Of course, you are rich! - Not me, my wife. 208 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,280 - What an ass! - My wife? 209 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,560 - No, her. - Like me! 210 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,120 - I can't explain. - This car would suit you. 211 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:45,240 It would give parishioners the image of modern priest that everyone hopes for. 212 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:50,280 If you want it, let's make a deal. I want a bigger one. 213 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,480 I need to do some math. How much would the moped value me? 214 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,600 We shall see. 215 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,880 I confess that a married priest makes an impression on me. 216 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,320 How do you reconcile the two? 217 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,200 It confuses the physical function with the spiritual one. 218 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,680 - I didn't say that. - But Io thinks. 219 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,640 This is common among many Catholic priests. 220 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:21,040 - I bet you have obscene dreams. - I only dream about St. Crispin. 221 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,240 Your alibis Are always saints and martyrs. 222 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:29,880 This house is from the 15th century and that is where Claudia Mori before she got married. 223 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,320 "Away with Don Cimbolano!" They don't like you very much in this country. 224 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:39,000 But no, they dedicated the road to me! They will put a plaque here. 225 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,280 We have already phoned, but with the strikes... 226 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,480 You are always talking bullshit! 227 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,160 Good evening, dear friends! 228 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,600 I am Father John Martini, of the American Protestant Church. 229 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,080 I hope you will like me as I like your country. 230 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,600 Good evening, I am Borsetti, the mayor. 231 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,440 - Very pleased. - I greet you on behalf of the city council. 232 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,480 However, I warn you That we don't like priests too much. 233 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,600 - What do we offer you? - Some Italian wine. 234 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:17,520 Of the head-turning kind, Like the beauty of the hostess. 235 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,120 Finally, a priest good with women, too! 236 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,720 My wife and I are interested in ancient places. 237 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,680 II your country has historical importance. 238 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,920 Borgovaro, "magna civitas"! 239 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,760 Damn, what a force! 240 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,120 This is the power of America, other than this guy! 241 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,400 - Here is a priest we would like here. - Thank you. 242 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,200 Tomorrow my niece is getting married. 243 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,480 Civil ceremony, I will perform it. 244 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,920 Come to the refreshment with your wife. 245 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,120 My wife has to go tomorrow to photograph your ruins, 246 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,320 But I will be happy to participate. 247 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,200 - [in French] You have to enjoy it! - Learn. 248 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:06,000 - But you are a polyglot! - I speak Spanish, Portuguese, French, 249 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,520 German, Italian, Russian, Turkish, Chinese, 250 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:15,360 Japanese, Hebrew, some dialects African, Arabic, Greek and Latin. 251 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:20,240 - How do you remember them all? - Healthy mind in a healthy body! 252 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:25,280 First, wake up early And take a walk. 253 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,200 I do. 254 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,480 [Father John]. Second, large and regular meals. 255 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,720 I make them. 256 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:34,400 Third, but not least, sexual activity. 257 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:39,040 - Intense, frequent and well-planned. - He does not. 258 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,520 II all under the blessing of the Lord, 259 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,160 To whom I would like to raise A hymn of thanksgiving. 260 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,640 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah... ♪ 261 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,120 All together! 262 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:58,480 [All] ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah! Hallelujah, my lord! ♪ 263 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,400 [moans of pleasure] 264 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:45,440 Breathe deeply! One, two, three. 265 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,000 Come on, run! 266 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:53,240 Free body exercises. One, two... 267 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,480 Look at Don Cimbolano. 268 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,680 A typical example of free-range living. 269 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:07,040 By sleeping in the open air Will remain young and healthy. 270 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,400 Do as Cymbolan And you will stay young and healthy! 271 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,200 - You always sleep outside, don't you? - I'm also fine in the house. 272 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,720 I don't have time now, there is the wedding of the mayor's niece. 273 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,640 Too bad you are not coming. See you soon! 274 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,600 [all together, mocking him]. You are not invited! 275 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,040 - Don Cimbolano. - Yes? 276 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,160 You have to confess to me. 277 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,520 It's not possible! I haven't slept. What happened? 278 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,960 Do you know who I met in the woods? 279 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,040 - Who. - Fabio Testi. 280 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,880 I need to make a confession. 281 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,360 So. 282 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,000 - What did you do? - About everything. 283 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,880 With this still I say to you A wise and ancient proverb. 284 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:20,680 "Great money will be pocketed there, best wishes and sons!" 285 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,160 [all] Bravo! 286 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,040 Now the word to the welcome foreign guest. 287 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,440 Thank you for inviting me to this party. 288 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:40,200 I heartily wish the newlyweds a union full of satisfaction 289 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,440 In love and procreation. 290 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,960 To conclude poetically as you Italians do: 291 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,600 "On this fabulous day I raise my cup and kiss the bride." 292 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,920 Now it's time to dance! 293 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,840 [dance music] 294 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,160 Father Martini, I bet he can dance! 295 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,520 - Can you show me around? - Gladly. 296 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,440 Does he know that he dances well? 297 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,600 He dances better than Don Lurio. 298 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,000 - Who is he, a priest? - No, a famous dancer. [laughs] 299 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,880 - Ouch! - What's going on? 300 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,560 My usual rip-off. 301 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,640 Do you want to sit down? 302 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,640 - No, you take me in. - Lean in. 303 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,880 - Lean in. - That hurt. 304 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,080 - Back here? - Yes. 305 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,400 - Should I better take my clothes off? - Sure. 306 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,440 - Can you help me? - If you want, sure. 307 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,000 [she groans] 308 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,960 - Where does it hurt? - There. 309 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,320 Lie down so we can see. 310 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,640 Not like that, turn around. 311 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,800 - What a pig! - Why? 312 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,360 Now I touch you, tell me which vertebrae aches. 313 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,800 - I studied chirotherapy. - [woman shouts] 314 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,760 It must be the coccyx. 315 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,880 Now I'm going to give you a massage and it will all pass. 316 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,200 - Father John] Give me your arm. - [woman] What are you doing? How strange you are! 317 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,320 There, like that! 318 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,120 You'll see it all passes after that. 319 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,400 Don Cimbolano? 320 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,560 What's he doing up there? 321 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,560 - I was arranging the landscape. - [Diana] He promised to accompany me. 322 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,400 I'll be right over. 323 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,560 [Diana] I am waiting! 324 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,240 [woman shouts] 325 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,680 - Is that better? - Yes, "golden hands." 326 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,560 - Take your clothes off, too. - Why? 327 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:26,800 - Let's go down, or they will think wrong. - They already think wrong by now anyway. 328 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,480 - Come here! - But no! 329 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,520 - I'm going to eat you! - What are you doing? 330 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:37,360 I am a priest, not a "putane"! I'm going down now. 331 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,680 - Sorry. Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 332 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,680 Was the wedding party beautiful as seen from above? 333 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:52,600 - Gorgeous frame, but vulgar content. - What do you mean? 334 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,560 Some things are better not to know, I also says the parable. 335 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,800 - What is the parable? - The parable, isn't it? 336 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:10,800 Be careful, in these parts in the 1800s a viper was found. 337 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:16,560 Legend has it that Crispin was a very poor shepherd. 338 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,720 In fact, he had no sheep. 339 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,720 One day he was here looking for mushrooms 340 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,800 He saw a strong light, 341 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,560 Like a fire at a gas pump. 342 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,600 Then he took refuge in a cave 343 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,880 And there he saw a sheep all covered with sparks. 344 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,520 He thought it was a fire a sheep, but instead it was the devil. 345 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:48,320 - Is this the cave? - No, that one. And there is the shrine there. 346 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,200 Great!!! Go over there and I'll take a picture of you. 347 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,640 - But I come better in person. - Do it for me! 348 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,400 - Does it make them for me as I open the cave? - Okay. 349 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,680 Turn around! 350 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:16,920 You are beautiful! Be an angel, Like on the church fresco. 351 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,680 Strike a pose. 352 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,320 Here, like this. 353 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,600 A little to the left. 354 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,000 Good. Straight. 355 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,720 Look at the little bird. 356 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,000 Ouch, something bit me! 357 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:41,680 What was that? Help me! Do something, I've been bitten! 358 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,600 You have to suck here! 359 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,680 Look at my thigh! It hurts! It needs to suck! 360 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:54,160 Help me, Don Cimbolano! Please do something! 361 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,440 Oh, it was just a plug. 362 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,960 Look, it's nothing. 363 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,160 [thunder noise] 364 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,480 It's raining! Don Cimbolano, we have to go! 365 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,120 Come, we must take cover! 366 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,920 [Diana screams] 367 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,720 The gate! 368 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:57,080 I can't do it! We are stuck. 369 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,720 I'm worried, why don't they come back? 370 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,920 - The rain must have blocked them. - The fool went on a motorcycle! 371 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,800 - [speaks English] - [together] What? 372 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:14,480 - Let's go after them with the car. - We will get bogged down! 373 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,160 I'm not deaf! I speak Italian better than you, okay? 374 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,040 Calm down, let us at least finish the game. 375 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,560 When it stops, we go with the municipality's jeep. 376 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,400 - [speaking in dialect]. - How? 377 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,800 - But do you speak Italian, or not? - When it doesn't rain anymore. 378 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,720 What if it rains all night? 379 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,360 The other exit is also blocked, dynamite would be needed. 380 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,440 I am so cold! 381 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,880 Of course, she kept her shirt wet. 382 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,400 - Put on my cassock, it's dry. - Thank you. 383 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,640 Tell me, why did you pass out earlier? 384 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,680 Because to tell you the truth I'm not used to being... 385 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,200 Only with a woman? 386 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,520 I live with the perpetual. Isn't that the same thing? 387 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:27,000 In short, in this situation I feel uncomfortable. 388 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,360 - Will they come and get us out of here? - They know where we are. 389 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,000 Not seeing us come back, they will come looking for us. 390 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,040 I wouldn't want your husband, though, 391 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,840 With his mentality, he thought who knows what. 392 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,880 What do you want me to think? He trusts me totally. 393 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,680 Besides, you are a priest, what are you worried about? 394 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:58,000 Yes, I am a Catholic priest, such things I don't do or think! 395 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:03,120 And I don't want to cause a final break between the two churches. 396 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,840 I feel as nervous as a caged lion. 397 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,719 Why does the fire go out? Why is this cave badly maintained? 398 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,239 Come on, don't be angry that you get ugly. 399 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:20,400 Rather, tell me the end of the story of St. Crispin. 400 00:34:20,639 --> 00:34:26,159 That sheep was the devil Because the saint had fallen into temptation. 401 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,920 Once with a cousin, at my aunt's house seven years ago. 402 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:35,040 One more time at the agricultural fair in Verona 403 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,280 Where, dressed in plain clothes, 404 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,239 He entered a house where there were ladies. 405 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,400 But I'd rather not talk about it. And one more time here. 406 00:34:46,639 --> 00:34:50,320 She turned into a woman lying on the straw, 407 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,760 Of above-average stature. 408 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,560 So what? 409 00:34:55,639 --> 00:34:58,640 St. Crispin, who was strong of mind and body, 410 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,640 He was able to endure the temptations that were tormenting him. 411 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:07,960 He asked the Lord for help, Who, to keep him pure, 412 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,280 As if by a miracle... 413 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,440 I put to sleep... 414 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,160 suddenly. 415 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,120 Here's the bike, they went to the shrine. 416 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,720 Let's go that way. 417 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,800 Plan. 418 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:36,320 Here is the sanctuary. 419 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,760 - My wife's stuff! - Stop! 420 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,440 - Diana. - But what happened? 421 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,800 The boulder has fallen. They are here, come! 422 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,720 - [Father John] Diana! - [Romeo] Cymbolan! 423 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,600 - Who is it? - Don Cimbolano, post! 424 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:03,280 Diana. 425 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,920 Bring the jeep here that we move the boulder! 426 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:12,760 - The story of the boulder is incredible. - It almost looks like a "ball." 427 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:18,200 Her husband cares a great deal about her, so he insisted on coming to look for her. 428 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,400 If we didn't go, who knows how long they would stay there. 429 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:27,920 In misfortune she was lucky. Imagine if she had been alone. 430 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,840 Instead, she was not alone. Am I right? 431 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:37,360 - But he was with a priest. - Yes, a priest -- man is man! 432 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,120 He remains a beast even with the black skirt. 433 00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:47,360 Who knows what the malicious tongues will say. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. 434 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:54,120 - [Romeo] I tell you they were naked! - [Borsetti] That's not possible! 435 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,200 And what did he look like? 436 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,200 - I tell you... - Here it is. 437 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,000 Hello. 438 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,840 [murmuring] 439 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,880 Father Martini. 440 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,280 Yes? 441 00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:28,160 Do you want to tell me something? 442 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,960 You have some tremendous burdens on your conscience 443 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,320 That you want to free yourself from? 444 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:41,200 Let's talk man to man. In fact, priest to priest. 445 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:46,800 In the sense that everything we say Will not leave this room. 446 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,000 Know that I am not jealous, 447 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:55,680 I am capable of understanding and forgive, as a civilized person. 448 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,160 What was it between you and my wife? 449 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,280 But no, I... 450 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,200 Can you not stand my accusing gaze? 451 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:09,000 All right, I won't look at you. What did you do with Diana? 452 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:13,680 We were taking pictures, it started to rain and we took cover. 453 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,840 The boulder fell. Perhaps a lightning strike. 454 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,520 - What did you say? - Thunderstorm. 455 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,280 You didn't say "storm." 456 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,200 Like no, it's my whole life I've been saying "storm." 457 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,560 I once said "flash." 458 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:34,720 You did not say "thunderstorm." but "lightning strike"! 459 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,200 Yes, it is true. 460 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:41,160 I knew it That no one could be trusted! 461 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,680 [Father John] Least of all from someone like you! 462 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:50,040 Now swear by Saint Crispin That you will tell the whole truth, 463 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:54,040 Nothing but the truth. Swear, dog! 464 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:59,200 - You don't swear by such things. - It's true, you're right. 465 00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:03,080 So tell me. 466 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:07,320 Were there any effusions, caresses, touching? 467 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,520 Macché touches and caresses! 468 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,840 [shouts] Then there was something more! 469 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:18,240 [shouts] Speak, you sack of shit, or I'll break your face! 470 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,840 - [shouts] It will destroy your house! - Not the radio! 471 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,880 - [shouts] You're scared, huh? - Yes. 472 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,600 [shouts] Coward! 473 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:32,760 [Father John] Pig, have the courage Of your dirty deeds! 474 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,880 - Leave me alone! - Come out! 475 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,440 I don't do anything to you, I just want to destroy you. 476 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,760 - [shouts] - Like this! 477 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,560 - Defend yourself, if you are a man! - [shouts] 478 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,360 Clown! Worm! 479 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:54,560 You wretch, you didn't have to do that. You ruined my life, my love. 480 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:59,480 - Don't be like that! - [cries] But why? 481 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:06,360 Father Martini, don't be like that. 482 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,280 All right. 483 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,120 - I am calm now. - [shouts] 484 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:19,160 How bad it is! Suddenly it's even worse! 485 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:24,400 And this is only the beginning! Squeal your guilt, you worm! 486 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:29,080 - I will also inform "your" Holiness. - No, not the pope! 487 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,760 You will burn in hell. 488 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:37,400 When you go through the country you will get your ass kicked! 489 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,000 [speaks in English] 490 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,960 I felt sick, I got cold. 491 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,680 I wanted to say hello and thank you. 492 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,960 I will never forget our meeting. 493 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,880 [shouts] No! 494 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:03,280 - [in English] What did you do to him? - And what did you do with that pig? 495 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,640 [shouts] 496 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:13,400 - [in English] Idiot! - [in English] Diana, wait for me! 497 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,640 - I'm not comfortable with that. - Oh, no! 498 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,560 My life is destroyed. 499 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,040 [John cries] 500 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,280 So much despair! 501 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:38,440 Forgive me for all the evil I have done. 502 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,760 - Give me a punch! - No. 503 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,720 - Spit in my face! - No. 504 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:45,960 - Humiliate me! - No. 505 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,960 Then give me a hug, dear brother. 506 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:58,040 And now you have to tell me what you did In that cave and how many times! 507 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:03,240 - [screams can be heard]. - Listen to that! It's a beast! 508 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,040 Here it is! 509 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,120 Away, away. 510 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:15,520 - Levati. - Borgovaro "magna civitas"! 511 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,240 - But go away! - Go away! 512 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,760 - Gun. - Look at that. 513 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,640 - Did he leave? - Yes. 514 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:33,120 I had a busy morning, I didn't get to say goodbye to him. 515 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,480 My bike. 516 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,280 Don't worry about the bike. 517 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,680 Let's take up a collection and buy a new one. 518 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,280 - So much for the American pain in the ass! - [all together] Good! 519 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:57,280 You have to give us a special sermon today, who knows what you have to tell us! 520 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,800 Comrades, everyone to the church! Go! 521 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:23,400 Thank you. 522 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,560 What do I tell them now, another lie? 523 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,440 All right. 524 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,040 [playing a tango] 525 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:05,120 [screeching brakes] 526 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,240 [thinks] Look at that girl! 527 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,320 [thinks] What curves! How hot she is! 528 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:26,240 [thinks] Oh my God, the thighs! 529 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,080 [thinks] What would you do to her, Oscar? 530 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,880 [thinks] This is the fairy From the "Thousand and One Nights"! 531 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,680 [thinks] I would need only one, at night! 532 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:43,800 [thinks] I'm backing off. If I didn't, I would be just.... 533 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,000 Asshole! 534 00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:50,560 [thinks] Hear that, Oscar? He would be right, if you didn't do. 535 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,520 [thinks] But because you do, he's not right. You are a straight man! 536 00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:58,000 - Good morning, young lady. - Good morning. 537 00:45:58,240 --> 00:46:01,320 - Is it serious? - I don't know, I melted the engine. 538 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,080 Then it is serious. 539 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,480 Indeed. I've been standing here for two hours. 540 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:11,960 - Would you give me a ride? - Sure, get in. 541 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:16,440 I couldn't take it anymore. I've been to such a boring party! 542 00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,920 I can't wait to go home. 543 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,240 - Arrange in all things. - She is an angel. 544 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,520 [thinks] Hear that? He called you "angel." 545 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,040 [thinks] Now he will see what the hell you are! 546 00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:33,440 - Bertoletti Oscar. - Lucrezia Marini. 547 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,760 [clears throat]. 548 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:45,160 Engine failures happen just when one least expects them. 549 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,800 - Don't tell me. - I know something about it, I shoot a lot. 550 00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,840 I go up and down Italy. 551 00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:56,160 I am a representative in the clothing business. 552 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,720 You see, I walk around with the goods. IMEC. 553 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,760 - Interested? - No thanks, I don't use it. 554 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:11,640 - But he's going to use some other leader, right? - Maybe. 555 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,760 [thinks] But what is he without underwear? 556 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,760 - Do you smoke? - Yes, that's the only vice I have. 557 00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:24,880 - I, on the other hand, have all the vices. - Thinks] What does he do, does he provoke? 558 00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:29,680 [Thinks] Careful, you play with fire. 559 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,960 Ouch, it burns! 560 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:39,280 What's he doing, has he gone crazy? 561 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:44,040 Sorry, I was swerving in a moment. Forgive me. 562 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,040 [thinks] What's the matter with you? Have your legs confused you? 563 00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,840 [thinks] Of course that this blonde is crazy! 564 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,560 [Thinks] It is time for the first approach. 565 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:59,840 - [thinks] If you don't eat it, you're just... - Asshole! 566 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,440 That word got out? 567 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,600 - How? - Nothing, just talking to myself. 568 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:19,200 As soon as I saw her, I knew immediately that she was a good girl, 569 00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,640 I could trust. 570 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:26,000 Because with all the thugs that are around... 571 00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:30,120 - Instead you inspire confidence. - Thank you. 572 00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:35,680 [thinks] Bravo, Oscar, with prudence and elegance, 573 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,160 Without pointing it out. 574 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,400 Why don't you make it clear that you want to sleep with me? 575 00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,200 - What did he say? - That you want to sleep with me. 576 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,520 - Didn't you help me because of that? - What do you take me for? 577 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:55,760 Do you want to make love to me or not? I'm in. 578 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:59,120 - Are you in? - I'm in. 579 00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,400 Then I'm in, too. 580 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:06,840 I am not like you bourgeois who make a thousand turns of phrase. 581 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:12,280 We can go to my house, better there than here in the car. 582 00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,480 [thinks] Oh my God, she's a whore! 583 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:20,600 [thinks] She's a high-class whore. She was going to rip me off! 584 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:25,400 [thinks] The Jaguar, I'm going to rock, "let's go to my house"... 585 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,800 - [thinks] And then it costs you a million! - Well? 586 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:30,640 How? 587 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:35,000 Are you in a hurry? Have you gotten The urge to finish? 588 00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:39,000 Let me do the math, I don't have a lot of money. 589 00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:41,360 - Shall we make it 10,000? - What? 590 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,760 - How about 11,000? - What do you take me for? 591 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,160 I do it because I feel like it and then I like you. 592 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:52,960 [thinks] The blonde likes me with I rock! 593 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,440 [thinks] Oscar... 594 00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,440 What an ass you have! 595 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:27,600 Why did you bring me here? Weren't we supposed to go to your house? 596 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:33,000 - This is my house. - [thinks] Understand? It's his house! 597 00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:50,440 - But who is that? - Luigino. Don't worry, he's trustworthy. 598 00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,560 [thinks] He looks pissed off to me. 599 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,200 - Welcome back, countess. - Hello, Luigino. 600 00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:01,320 The car is broken down near the Brandolini mansion. 601 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,960 I forgot. 602 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:09,240 I remind you that you must telephone to His Eminence Cardinal. 603 00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,520 - Thank you. - [thinks] Cardinal? 604 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,560 [thinks] You're going to see That this one with the cardinal... 605 00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,920 [thinks] Not dumb! 606 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,120 Aren't you going in? 607 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,400 Come on, that I have to make an important phone call! 608 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,520 Oh, yeah? 609 00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:54,800 But does Io know that you are naughty, Your Eminence? 610 00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,440 I will have to pull her ears next time! 611 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:03,680 - Do you want to make me blush? - [sotto voce] Where should I go? 612 00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,440 - Eminence. - [sotto voce] That way? Good. 613 00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,440 Yes, of course. 614 00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,000 No! No... 615 00:52:12,240 --> 00:52:17,840 - No, absolutely. - [sotto voce] Where? Ah, over there. 616 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,440 [sotto voce] I settle in. 617 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,360 [thinks] See, statue in erotic pose, 618 00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:30,120 erotic furniture, 619 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,400 painting depicting a pile-up... 620 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:40,320 [thinks] Here I am being provoked. Soon it's my turn! 621 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,320 [thinks] What a day! 622 00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:47,400 [thinks] What day is today? Ah, the newspaper. 623 00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:52,640 [think] Today is April 7. Date to remember. 624 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,880 [thinks] What does it matter If she's a countess? Oscar, jump in! 625 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,800 [thinks] With permission. 626 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:11,560 All right, let's do it here. The atmosphere is more right. 627 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:22,040 So we're going to stick with that? All right. 628 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:30,760 [thinks] Damn, look where I've ended up -- I'm leaving. 629 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:35,640 - [thinks] I'm going to leave. - Oh! What time is it? 630 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,400 - Are you saying to me? - Yes. 631 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,360 7:00, 7:30, I think. 632 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,200 And what did you wake me up to do? It's nighttime! 633 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,200 Me? 634 00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:47,960 I had nothing to do with it, I was sent there by the countess. Don't send me there yourself! 635 00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:52,840 Rodolfo, how many times do I have to tell you that your apartment is that way? 636 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,960 Every day Myself! 637 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,960 Let's not make it a bed issue. 638 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,720 - Don't disturb him. - Come and help me! 639 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,680 - He is a heavy sleeper. - Damn! 640 00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:09,400 - Rodolfo, wake up. - Come on! Rodolfo! 641 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:14,440 - But who is this Rodolfo? - My husband. 642 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:18,000 Rodolfo. 643 00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:21,240 Rodolfo, wake up! 644 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:26,160 Don't do that, or it's going to end up Rodolfo getting pissed off. 645 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:32,120 You have annoyed me with this! If you try it again, I'll divorce you. 646 00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:34,680 [countess] Bloody hell! 647 00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:52,080 [whistles and clears his throat]. 648 00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,600 Countess. 649 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:11,920 Countess. 650 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:16,560 Count Marini of Lampenusa, husband of Mrs. 651 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,160 Bertoletti Oscar, on a courtesy visit. 652 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:24,760 Remember that this is my apartment and I'm sleeping in it! 653 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:29,680 You forgot the other night That I came back with that nigger 654 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,160 And found you in my bed? 655 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:36,320 - You made me look bad! - He's right. 656 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,560 May it not be repeated! You know me! 657 00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:47,000 Countess, we are sure that her husband says nothing 658 00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:50,960 - We are going to "cosare." - Duh! 659 00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:56,080 We are a modern, open couple. He doesn't pay attention to this nonsense. 660 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,400 He has overcome the retrograde block of jealousy. 661 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,200 Because from the accent he sounded Sicilian to me. 662 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,880 Now racism comes out too! 663 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:10,320 Do not conceive that there is such a thing as a modern Sicilian. 664 00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:15,520 - Oscar, are you following me? - I follow you, countess. 665 00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:16,800 He said? 666 00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,600 That for you there are no modern, progressive Sicilians. 667 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:25,440 Her husband seemed modern, evolved. 668 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,560 I would not want him to then have a return to basics. 669 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,680 - [imitates thought-provoker]. - You know, the honor killing. 670 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,120 Two lupara shots, one bullet... 671 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,960 Enough talk, right? 672 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,760 Come here. 673 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:17,520 [in English] Yes. 674 00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:24,440 Countess, alone at last! Away from prying eyes. 675 00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,080 [window noises] 676 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:31,400 But does Frankenstein have to put himself right there? 677 00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:35,760 Who, Luigino? It's not like we bother him. 678 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:40,520 - If we don't bother him. - He is used to these things. 679 00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:42,920 - What do you care? - Of course. 680 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,680 If he is used to it, what do we care? 681 00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,880 [countess] How I like you! 682 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:52,040 [the countess groans] 683 00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:54,840 What a man! 684 00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,120 What a male! 685 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,960 How beautiful! 686 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:02,960 Indeed! 687 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:09,000 - But who are you? - Bertoletti Oscar, countess. It was Achilles. 688 00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:12,040 I am yours, countess! 689 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:16,120 - How I like you! You are so good! - I'm going strong! 690 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:17,840 [inaudible] 691 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,760 [countess] You drive me crazy! 692 00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:26,240 Come on! Come on, squeeze me! 693 00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:32,480 - Squeeze me! - Lady countess! 694 00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:36,520 - What are you doing? - What have I done? 695 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:41,160 No kissing. We conclude, mica we don't have to be romantic. 696 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:45,320 Excuse me, but the kiss Is like ham and melon. 697 00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:46,680 How? 698 00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:49,800 It is the appetizer; it is needed to get going. 699 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,120 - Permission? - What's going on? 700 00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,440 Madam Countess! 701 00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:58,320 Gianluca cries, he wants her to go to him. 702 00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,400 - Did you tell him I was busy? - Yes. 703 00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:06,480 - I told him that mother is busy. - He could have turned on the TV. 704 00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:11,160 I tried everything: radio, ball, skittles, train, backgammon. 705 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:17,600 - No way, he cries. - Give him the drops, you'll see he'll calm down. 706 00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,640 [speaks in German]. 707 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:26,160 - Fatty, where are you? - I'm here. 708 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:27,240 Come. 709 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,640 One moment, I make sure that the Gestapo has withdrawn. 710 00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:32,480 Here every now and then there is an invasion! 711 00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,680 - Here! - Ah, you're here... 712 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,200 [he hears whistling] 713 00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:42,520 - [whistles] - Nice male of mine! 714 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,000 You are terrible! 715 00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,920 [countess] Come on! What are you doing? 716 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,000 I am crazy about you! 717 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,640 Madam Countess, I think I saw your husband. 718 01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:03,000 [countess] But in short, you make all the excuses! 719 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,480 I told you, he is not jealous. He doesn't pay any attention to it. 720 01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,880 But I pay attention to it! I don't concentrate. 721 01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:14,920 You Italians are all the same. Either timid, or depraved! 722 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:22,360 - Where are you going? Are you leaving me here with your husband? - Wait for me, I'll take care of it. 723 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,520 - Dr. Loy? - Shut up! 724 01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:39,640 Where is the doctor? 725 01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:43,640 - They're here. What is it? - I need to tell you something. Come. 726 01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:45,240 You guys keep rolling. 727 01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,880 - Listen to me, Dr. Nanni Loy. - Hurry up. 728 01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:54,080 I'm leaving. That one is a dirty one! 729 01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,440 - But if you're great at it. - Of course! 730 01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:01,800 - I am an actress. - But what does that have to do with anything? 731 01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,440 - It does! - [crewman] You can hear everything. 732 01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,760 - Easy. - As long as there is acting, it is fine. 733 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:11,840 But other things I don't want to do, I am ashamed. 734 01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,160 Don't be ashamed, you act very well. 735 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:20,520 Do you think you are succeeding to prove that the average Italian 736 01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:25,000 In order to achieve that goal Is willing to do anything. 737 01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:29,040 Don't worry, I am here. Now go and follow the script. 738 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:31,360 But if that wants to do "le robe," I'll leave. 739 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:34,120 [director] You are wonderful! 740 01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:38,080 - Let's see if this cretin wakes up! - She gets her clothes back on! 741 01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,680 Turn, Io will make Peppino stay. 742 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,840 - What are you doing, getting dressed? - Yes, I have an urgent engagement. 743 01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:51,160 Since I represent intimate goods 744 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:55,240 And she only wears them in the family, I would have nice underwear. 745 01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,800 - I have to go now. - But you are crazy! 746 01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:03,880 She doesn't know what she's missing! My wife is a force of nature! 747 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:08,280 - Unheard of things happen in bed with her. - Do they? 748 01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:11,480 It makes numbers, numbers... 749 01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:15,640 - But I... - Listen to me, stay. 750 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,000 Remains. 751 01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:20,080 Remains. 752 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,880 - It is a sexual machine! - Sexual... 753 01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:36,520 Can you believe it, Oscar? This one is doing the numbers! 754 01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:38,920 Not bad! 755 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:43,560 Give him a close-up, as big as possible. 756 01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,080 Give him the big head. 757 01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,960 Fatty! 758 01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:07,200 Fatty, come and ride your jaguar! 759 01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,880 Come. 760 01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:16,320 "Fatty" hunter! 761 01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,360 - Come! - [roaring] 762 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:36,280 Countess, I do as Marquis De Sadico! 763 01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:39,320 - Countess! - Again! 764 01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:43,040 I can't take it anymore! I'm leaving. 765 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:46,600 - Packing. - Is Gianluca still crying? 766 01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:51,600 He is pestiferous, he keeps crying. You keep him! 767 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,960 Gianluca, go to mom! 768 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,240 Love! 769 01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:05,960 Love, come to mother. Come! 770 01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,160 What did they do to you? 771 01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:12,280 Baby, come here! 772 01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:16,000 Do they make you cry? 773 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:21,360 I cannot, Madam Countess. I'm leaving! 774 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,680 You can't! 775 01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:28,600 With the urge I have, I would make love With her even at the Wax Museum. 776 01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:34,880 But this is the Museum of Horrors! First Frankenstein, then her husband, 777 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:39,400 then the SS disguised as a nun and now the monkey as well! 778 01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:44,240 But Gianluca is so cute! He's just standing there looking good. 779 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:48,600 Exactly. The monkeys remake what they see them doing. 780 01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:53,120 It's not that while I'm on the bed With her, I find myself ... 781 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:57,880 No, never mind. So sorry, friends like before. 782 01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:03,640 I don't know how to tell him, but ... I'm sick and tired of it! 783 01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:10,720 - This time he's really leaving. - Turn, turn. 784 01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:15,360 Now he tells them a joke that stops all Italians. 785 01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:19,800 Then you know what I say to you, Bertoletti? You're a faggot! 786 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:29,760 How? I didn't understand the last word. 787 01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,640 - Fennel. - Fennel? 788 01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:36,040 - Me? - Yes. 789 01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:45,000 [in English] Danger, Madam Countess! 790 01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:49,000 He who touches the wires, dies. This he did not have to say. 791 01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:53,080 Is that so? Then first: Gianluca, bugger off! 792 01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:55,280 Come on! 793 01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,000 - No! - Go away! 794 01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:02,480 Don't let me see you again, or I'll kick your ass twice! 795 01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:04,840 Second: 796 01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:11,080 close, which looks like the courtyard Of an asylum in the recreation hour. 797 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,680 Third, you know Chief Kennedy, 798 01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:15,040 the rocket launch? 799 01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:22,240 [in English] Six, five, four, three, two... 800 01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:27,000 You told me faggot And now I'm going to show you... 801 01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:29,920 - if I'm a fag! - Help, doctor! 802 01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:34,360 - The doctor will serve you later! - Help, doctor! 803 01:06:35,240 --> 01:06:38,720 [megaphone from outside]. Bertoletti, Commissioner Castelli speaks. 804 01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:42,400 The mansion is surrounded, come out with your hands up. 805 01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:46,320 Nice one about the commissioner! 806 01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:49,000 But who had it? 807 01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:51,200 [megaphone from outside]. We know you're there... 808 01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:53,200 [director] He is a real commissioner! 809 01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:58,040 Bertoletti, you'd better surrender yourself without resisting. 810 01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:03,280 - No harm will come to you. - We got him, commissioner! 811 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,520 But what did you take? 812 01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,040 It is not him, leave him! Take a position. 813 01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:12,240 I am an actor, I am working with Nanni Loy. 814 01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,400 - Nanni Loy? - Yes, we shoot Secret Mirror. 815 01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:18,760 Don't be reckless, you have a woman on your hands. 816 01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,240 But why do you seek Him? 817 01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:25,920 He escaped from the La Spezia prison with six dangerous extremists. 818 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,120 And he stole my car and my pants! I am the representative! 819 01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:33,520 Shut up, we know. Go away, they are shooting here! 820 01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:38,600 He is armed and dangerous. Oscar Bertoletti! 821 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,920 I said that one had an ugly face. 822 01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:47,600 I am fake. I told you, we are working. 823 01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:50,560 Commissioner, come. 824 01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:52,480 Look, here it is. 825 01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:54,920 How many are they! 826 01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:58,760 Hands up! We know That you ran away with the Gang of Three! 827 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,720 What, commissioner, are you freaking out? 828 01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:06,280 Extremist revolutionary terrorists. You arranged the escape. 829 01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:08,440 [sotto voce] There is a setback. 830 01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,760 Our man could be dangerous. 831 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:12,840 What do I do? 832 01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:17,359 Always say yes to him, humor him and don't make him angry. 833 01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:21,800 He reads too many mystery novels. There is a misunderstanding. 834 01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:25,880 Come. 835 01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:31,399 I want to make it clear, I don't want to be misconstrued. 836 01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:35,600 I was in the bathrooms of the prison infirmary, 837 01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:38,439 When six individuals popped up. 838 01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,840 They blew up the bar and ran away. 839 01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:46,000 I was done. What was I going to do, stay and shit? 840 01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:50,080 I escaped as well, everyone in Italy evades anyway! 841 01:08:50,399 --> 01:08:54,080 Enough. I'll give you one minute to surrender. 842 01:08:54,319 --> 01:08:59,279 At the very least, I need half an hour. Excuse me for a moment. 843 01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:03,640 - [countess shouts] - Mortacci vostri! 844 01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:05,920 Ready to fire! 845 01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:10,800 I have to defend myself. Come, countess, don't be afraid. 846 01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:12,279 So? 847 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,080 - Watch out, he's armed! - Of course. 848 01:09:15,319 --> 01:09:18,520 I found it in the car I stole. 849 01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:22,319 - Everyone in Italy is armed except me. - You have 15 seconds. 850 01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:26,240 That's enough now! You put me in jail for a trifle, 851 01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:30,560 I have been awaiting trial for two years and after two years of abstinence 852 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:35,200 I am about to conclude with a beautiful, compliant countess. 853 01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:41,000 What do I do with 15 seconds? It's not enough for me even if you wall us in alive. 854 01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:45,600 Let's be calm! If I get angry, I make a carnage. 855 01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:47,800 End of statement. 856 01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,720 - What do we do? - We shoot. 857 01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:54,080 - [Oscar] Alone at last! - Don't make a sound. 858 01:09:54,720 --> 01:09:58,640 - For goodness sake! I didn't do anything! - Neither did I. 859 01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:03,080 - I am a poor thing! - What are you doing, Madam Countess? 860 01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:07,520 - There's television in there! - We'll see the TV later. 861 01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:13,600 There is television back there! There's Secret Mirror! 862 01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:17,400 - Secret mirror? - Yes, that way. 863 01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:20,840 - That way. - Let's not play games. 864 01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:32,880 [sotto voce] Let's be casual. 865 01:10:35,480 --> 01:10:38,120 So many people! Hands in the air! 866 01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:42,160 Mr. Bertoletti, take it easy with that thing there. 867 01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:46,280 But what are you doing? Have you taken it all back? 868 01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:50,800 We are doing some filming for Secret Mirror. 869 01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:53,400 Do you want to have fun behind my back? 870 01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:56,640 Did you also film When he said I was a fag? 871 01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:59,800 He jumped on her with an admirable rapture. 872 01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:04,320 - Does it mean that I am a fag? - On the contrary, that you are a real man. 873 01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:09,000 Then it also showed When I threw it on the bed! 874 01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:13,080 - Yes. - Ah, you can tell! 875 01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:18,120 Did you take me to be a puppet to you? 876 01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:22,760 If you don't agree, let's burn it down, 877 01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,960 we don't air anything. 878 01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:36,320 Nanni Loy in the flesh! Beautiful! 879 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:41,440 But what's burning? You air everything, what do I care? 880 01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:45,920 - I have met Nanni Loy! - I, too, am pleased to meet her. 881 01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:49,000 - He is sympathetic. - No, you are nice! 882 01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:53,320 He remembers when he used to do: "Can I dunk?" 883 01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:56,600 No one ever notices. They all turn around like puppets. 884 01:11:56,840 --> 01:12:02,560 - And how did I come? - Good. Now I'll show you. 885 01:12:03,040 --> 01:12:05,160 - Can it be seen in color? - Yes. 886 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,200 Good! 887 01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:09,240 - Go with the monitor. - Nanni Loy shows me everything. 888 01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:10,960 - What is this? - A monitor. 889 01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:12,040 Can you see yourself there? 890 01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:14,880 - No, it is there. - Ah, you can see it there! 891 01:12:19,440 --> 01:12:23,040 Beautiful! I look good though, I'm photogenic! 892 01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:26,960 - How did he end up in prison? - For a leave of absence. 893 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:30,960 - What license? - As a peddler of various seeds. 894 01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:36,200 I had been waiting for two years and wrote to the President of the Republic. 895 01:12:36,440 --> 01:12:38,040 What's wrong with that? 896 01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:41,640 I wanted to give it to him during the June 2 parade. 897 01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:45,720 When the bersaglieri passed by, I queued up. 898 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:49,320 I didn't make it in time to climb over the stage 899 01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:52,920 That an armorer slapped me on the teeth. 900 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:56,560 - What did you do? - Now I'm going to show you. Hold it. 901 01:12:56,800 --> 01:13:01,160 I stared at him with evil eyes, I made a feint with my left 902 01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:04,160 And I punched him with my right hand. 903 01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,080 I fractured my hand. He was wearing body armor! 904 01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:12,160 What's going on? One cannot be distracted for a moment! 905 01:13:12,400 --> 01:13:15,200 Dr. Loy, tell him I am innocent. 906 01:13:15,440 --> 01:13:18,000 [Nanni Loy] He is a good boy. Try to help him. 907 01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,600 - When do I see myself on TV? - Wednesday. 908 01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:24,960 How nice, everyone can see me! Thank you, Dr. Loy! 909 01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:28,480 Hear that, commissioner? Let's get on the air. 910 01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:31,160 I'm on TV with Nanni Loy! 911 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:34,720 He called me by my name! What an ass I have! 912 01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:46,160 [playing a mazurka] 913 01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:20,400 - Counselor, do you want a ride? - No, I will never take the car. 914 01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,280 Look where you are going! 915 01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,920 [indistinct hubbub] 916 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:34,200 And be careful! You're even late! Look what time it is! 917 01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:38,360 Come, let's take the shortcut. 918 01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:42,960 Excuse me. Sorry... 919 01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,400 Excuse me. 920 01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:48,240 Permit? 921 01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:50,720 Corrected coffee. 922 01:14:58,800 --> 01:14:59,960 Here is your coffee. 923 01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:12,200 I'm sorry -- look, it's not like I've... 924 01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:15,360 Let's go, it's late! 925 01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:16,880 It is late. 926 01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:23,120 - I hope the boss hasn't arrived. - But he is only a minute late! 927 01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:28,080 You no elevator? 928 01:15:28,160 --> 01:15:31,240 - I'm not crazy! - Best wishes for the five stories! 929 01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:33,520 It is scientifically proven 930 01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:36,560 that the elevator Is a dangerous means of transportation. 931 01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:39,600 And I will never take it! 932 01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:09,520 - I gave the practice to lawyer Scorza. - But that one is never there! 933 01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:15,000 - Attorney Scorza, good morning. - One moment. 934 01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:18,760 Let go of me! Every morning a fight! 935 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,440 Today two extra minutes to take the stairs. 936 01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:23,040 I am untrained. 937 01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:26,960 - He has the file of SNIA Viscosa. - Let me at least have a coffee. 938 01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,200 - Good morning, counselor. - Good morning. 939 01:16:34,440 --> 01:16:37,440 Forni, get the Cambogi file. 940 01:16:37,680 --> 01:16:40,040 - Signature. - What's new? 941 01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:43,680 Notary Lucifer is in his room. 942 01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:45,120 Have you booked me for London? 943 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:49,040 - Yes, he has a 6:45 p.m. flight. - Perfect. 944 01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:51,400 - [From the Pine] Good morning, counselor. - Hello, dear. 945 01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:58,880 - It's yours, counselor. - Thank you, Scorza. 946 01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,680 Scorza, right away from me with the SNIA file. 947 01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:03,840 Now! 948 01:17:09,240 --> 01:17:13,880 - Do you know where the SNIA file is? - Up there, folders one through eight. 949 01:17:23,320 --> 01:17:26,320 - From the -- from the -- from the pine tree. - Yes? 950 01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,680 - A courtesy, for pity's sake. - What is it? 951 01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:32,960 - Does he take them from me? - It's getting worse! 952 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:38,800 - I am slightly dizzy. - Just because I like him. 953 01:17:39,040 --> 01:17:41,000 I'm dizzy. 954 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:53,720 - Sorry. - Counselor, be careful! 955 01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:10,760 The technical assessment for SNIA is set for 3:45 p.m. today in Milan. 956 01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:13,800 - Milan? - Milan. 957 01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:18,480 - Hurry up, at 12:30 you have the plane. - The plane? 958 01:18:18,720 --> 01:18:19,920 But what does he do? 959 01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:22,680 - The plane? - Sure. 960 01:18:22,920 --> 01:18:25,080 - Hello, Mrs. Nardi. - Attorney Berchielli. 961 01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:28,160 - He is busy. - Busy for me? You announce me. 962 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:30,840 Counselor, Mrs. Nardi is here. 963 01:18:31,680 --> 01:18:34,680 - Good morning, Ms. Nardi. - Comfortable. 964 01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:38,400 - Great news! - I don't give a damn! 965 01:18:38,640 --> 01:18:42,720 - Follow me. Lawyer. - I'm with you, ma'am. 966 01:18:43,680 --> 01:18:45,800 Away. Can't you see that Nardi is there? 967 01:18:48,440 --> 01:18:50,520 - From the Pine. - What's more? 968 01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:52,360 I need help. 969 01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:58,960 I am here for a personal matter. I want to frame the pig. 970 01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:03,320 It will be done. But I don't have quite clear what the practice is. 971 01:19:03,560 --> 01:19:05,600 He is my husband. 972 01:19:05,840 --> 01:19:08,720 - Tell me all about it. - The pig... 973 01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:10,760 - Yes? - Because Io is! 974 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,800 - Yes. - He's still with that hooker. 975 01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:17,440 - But this time I know where it is. - This can be useful for us. 976 01:19:17,680 --> 01:19:23,600 I need her to surprise him on the fact, photograph it and ruin it. 977 01:19:23,840 --> 01:19:27,960 - Come, you are my eyewitness. - One moment. 978 01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:31,160 I have to leave for London for his company. 979 01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:33,080 Drop everything and come! 980 01:19:33,320 --> 01:19:37,240 - I leave it to my best substitute. - Substitute? 981 01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:40,760 It is as if I am personally in charge of it. 982 01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:42,320 - Miss? - Yes? 983 01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:44,080 Lawyer Dal Pino here to me. 984 01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:47,720 - He just left for Milan. - Milan? 985 01:19:47,960 --> 01:19:50,800 - In Scorza's place. - So? 986 01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:54,840 - May I have a minute? - All right, but be quick! 987 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:56,640 Peel. 988 01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,360 He again transgressed one of my orders. 989 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:04,440 This is the tenth time he has sent Dal Pino to Milan in his place. 990 01:20:05,400 --> 01:20:07,560 He asked. 991 01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:12,320 I have to remind you that if you are in this study... 992 01:20:12,560 --> 01:20:15,320 - Do you want Io to write? - Don't make him funny! 993 01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:19,040 - No. - He is here for his mother's prayers. 994 01:20:19,280 --> 01:20:22,120 - Mother - Widowed and infirm. 995 01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:25,960 In memory of the place his father occupied here. 996 01:20:26,320 --> 01:20:30,160 - II knot is tight. - I caution you against taking action. 997 01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:32,640 - Berchielli! - Ma'am. 998 01:20:32,880 --> 01:20:36,840 - I have no time to lose. - You won't waste it, ma'am. 999 01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:40,960 I entrust it to my best substitute, attorney Scorza. 1000 01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:44,160 - Ah! I feel sick! - Madam! 1001 01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:47,360 - Miss. - Bring me something to drink. 1002 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,800 - A cordial! - I'll go. 1003 01:20:50,040 --> 01:20:52,800 - But where do you go? - I'm going down to the bar. 1004 01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:55,760 Quick! Ma'am, what's wrong with you? 1005 01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:08,400 - Elevator no, right? - Elevator? 1006 01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:12,400 Rest assured, we will assist you as always. 1007 01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:15,320 But time passes and goodbye surprise. 1008 01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:17,800 - Where is this Scorza? - The bag! 1009 01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:35,520 I lead the way. She is here! 1010 01:21:35,760 --> 01:21:40,200 - Could it have taken him so long? - No! No! 1011 01:21:40,440 --> 01:21:43,120 The elevator is not! 1012 01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:52,680 I'll take the car. 1013 01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:54,400 - Do I accompany her? - No need. 1014 01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:57,480 Counselor. 1015 01:21:58,800 --> 01:22:01,680 [lawyer Berchielli] Lawyer, in short! 1016 01:22:02,360 --> 01:22:05,520 He has to leave with Mrs. Nardi. 1017 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:12,080 - But I don't even know what to do. - I don't really know that either. 1018 01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:16,280 The important thing is that it goes along with Nardi in everything. Clear? 1019 01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:17,200 Clear. 1020 01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,320 - I'll give you one more chance. - The ear! 1021 01:22:20,560 --> 01:22:22,840 I entrust Nardi to you, but watch out! 1022 01:22:23,080 --> 01:22:27,200 The lady is a labor knight, president of Edilconsorti 1023 01:22:27,440 --> 01:22:29,520 And she is our best customer. 1024 01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:33,920 We owe her 75% of our firm's turnover. 1025 01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:36,160 - Of his study. - Ergo. 1026 01:22:36,400 --> 01:22:41,960 Indulge her in everything, obey her, otherwise I will kick her out 1027 01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:46,560 And he will no longer even enter as an usher in a law firm. 1028 01:22:46,800 --> 01:22:48,640 - Clear? - Me write it down? 1029 01:22:48,880 --> 01:22:52,320 - Full disposal! - Counselor, hurry up. 1030 01:22:53,560 --> 01:22:54,600 At your command. 1031 01:23:47,200 --> 01:23:50,600 Counselor, hurry! The Yankee is waiting for us! 1032 01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:53,800 - The Yankee? - [Mrs. Nardi] Lamberto! 1033 01:23:54,040 --> 01:23:58,240 - Is everything all right? - Yes, ma'am. You can leave whenever you want. 1034 01:23:58,480 --> 01:24:01,360 The plane? Well... 1035 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:06,720 Counselor, shall we go? Get out of the car! 1036 01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:13,040 - Is it a single-engine engine? - [Mrs. Nardi] Of course! 1037 01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:15,640 Well, it is safer. 1038 01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:25,000 - But have you ever flown? - I - yes. 1039 01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:28,600 - Won't he be afraid of the plane? - No, no... 1040 01:24:29,880 --> 01:24:32,720 - What do you do? - I had to make a phone call. 1041 01:24:32,960 --> 01:24:35,840 - I would catch up with her later. - Don't talk bullshit! 1042 01:24:40,480 --> 01:24:44,360 Tango beta 23 to control tower. Takeoff. 1043 01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:47,080 - Who takes off? - We do! 1044 01:24:47,160 --> 01:24:48,160 Good. 1045 01:24:48,400 --> 01:24:51,360 - Destination Palmarossa. - Palmarossa? 1046 01:24:56,040 --> 01:25:01,920 - You know Palmarossa, don't you? - The well-known feminist... The president... 1047 01:25:02,160 --> 01:25:04,720 I don't know who he is. 1048 01:25:04,960 --> 01:25:09,440 - But what does that have to do with me? - Didn't Berchielli say anything to you? 1049 01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,960 Of the plane, no. 1050 01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:13,760 - No, about what he has to do! - He told me everything. 1051 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:15,320 He knows what he has to do, doesn't he? 1052 01:25:15,400 --> 01:25:18,160 - Yes. Do you want me to jump? - Why? 1053 01:25:18,400 --> 01:25:20,120 Out of servility. 1054 01:25:20,360 --> 01:25:22,960 Palmarossa control tower in Tango beta 23. 1055 01:25:23,040 --> 01:25:24,720 Tango beta 23. 1056 01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:28,920 - We hear you loud and clear. - This is control tower. 1057 01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:32,480 ZAB 41 flight plans, you can begin Ia crossing. 1058 01:25:32,720 --> 01:25:35,120 - Copy. - Crossing? 1059 01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:39,200 - Of course. - Atlantica? Like Lindbergh? 1060 01:25:39,440 --> 01:25:42,160 What does it say. Palmarossa is in Sardinia. 1061 01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:46,200 Well, it's off to Sardinia! Sardinia? 1062 01:25:49,880 --> 01:25:53,720 - How high will we be? - Two thousand feet. 1063 01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:57,680 Couldn't one fly a little lower? 1064 01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:02,000 What he says. I am a very good pilot. I have 1,600 hours of flying time. 1065 01:26:02,080 --> 01:26:03,440 Again? 1066 01:26:03,680 --> 01:26:08,240 At the Barcelona-Ajaccio raid. my husband and I finished second. 1067 01:26:08,480 --> 01:26:12,840 [crying] How happy we were! He called me "his flying angel." 1068 01:26:13,080 --> 01:26:18,160 He said, "Jade, you for me you are the most beautiful woman in the world!" 1069 01:26:18,640 --> 01:26:21,080 But... was he almost blind? 1070 01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:26,440 Then he would hug me and tear my clothes wherever we were! 1071 01:26:26,680 --> 01:26:28,400 [Mrs. Nardi cries] 1072 01:26:32,240 --> 01:26:34,280 Ma'am, sorry, 1073 01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:38,880 assure me that this down here is the Mediterranean? 1074 01:26:39,120 --> 01:26:42,760 - [crying] Of course. - Thank goodness... 1075 01:26:43,640 --> 01:26:48,920 We once made love On the train tracks. Fantastic! 1076 01:26:49,160 --> 01:26:51,440 Have you ever made love On the train tracks? 1077 01:26:51,520 --> 01:26:54,640 Yeah, yeah. I mean, never. 1078 01:26:54,880 --> 01:26:59,440 You have to try! The idea that the direttissimo is coming... 1079 01:26:59,680 --> 01:27:02,000 hundredfold the pleasure! 1080 01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:05,360 I leave Ia coast and begin Ia crossing. 1081 01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:10,240 - I anticipate arrival in 50 minutes. - Copy. 1082 01:27:16,640 --> 01:27:19,160 - Counsel. Lawyer. - Yes? 1083 01:27:19,240 --> 01:27:21,520 Tell me honestly. 1084 01:27:21,760 --> 01:27:24,440 My husband's mistress Will she be more beautiful than me? 1085 01:27:26,480 --> 01:27:30,280 - Pig! - But what did I do wrong to her? 1086 01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:32,560 Porco is Lorenzo! 1087 01:27:32,800 --> 01:27:37,440 I loved him madly. For him I fought with my family. 1088 01:27:37,680 --> 01:27:39,320 [roars] 1089 01:27:39,560 --> 01:27:42,920 They would say to me: "He is a good-for-nothing, a playboy." 1090 01:27:43,160 --> 01:27:47,640 But I loved him and married him. My father was so pissed off! 1091 01:27:47,880 --> 01:27:51,920 I even made him CEO advisor, at five million a month! 1092 01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:56,640 And because I loved you, I filled you with watches, mansions and boats. 1093 01:27:56,880 --> 01:28:01,160 And you went to my mansion And with my boat, with your whore! 1094 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:04,560 Ma'am, don't let go of the steering wheel! 1095 01:28:05,120 --> 01:28:08,360 I hate this plane! I hate everything I have! 1096 01:28:08,560 --> 01:28:11,320 Are we plummeting or is it just my feeling? 1097 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:16,320 You'll cry on my grave, you pig! I want to die! 1098 01:28:16,560 --> 01:28:20,160 Wouldn't it be appropriate to deny him this opportunity? 1099 01:28:24,440 --> 01:28:27,160 No I'm not going to kill myself! 1100 01:28:27,400 --> 01:28:31,880 Although this is not my concern, I am pleased about it. 1101 01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:35,480 If I die, he celebrates with his whore. 1102 01:28:35,720 --> 01:28:39,760 No, dear! I will be the one to celebrate your downfall! 1103 01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:42,160 [Nardi makes a sound and Scorza repeats]. 1104 01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:47,080 Doesn't he know what passionate letters That rascal wrote to me! 1105 01:28:47,320 --> 01:28:52,000 - In fact, I'll show you one. - Madam, this is not the time! 1106 01:28:52,800 --> 01:28:57,920 - We are turning upside down! - If you are so afraid, come down. 1107 01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:00,520 I prefer to stay on board. 1108 01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:02,160 - Why? - For education. 1109 01:29:18,280 --> 01:29:20,800 - Look at what's there. - I saw. 1110 01:29:21,040 --> 01:29:23,320 - Do you know what it is? - A mountain. 1111 01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:25,080 But no, take a good look! 1112 01:29:25,320 --> 01:29:27,880 - Do you see it? - A camera. 1113 01:29:28,120 --> 01:29:29,760 - Can you use it? - Very well. 1114 01:29:29,840 --> 01:29:30,840 Then watch out. 1115 01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:34,360 When we arrive On my mansion, be ready. 1116 01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:38,520 - Photographic evidence is important. - Control tower here. 1117 01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:44,680 - Fly off course and too low. - That's my business! Over and out. 1118 01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:50,120 Did you hear that? Even the admiral thinks he should... 1119 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:55,400 Advocate, be prepared. We will fly lower and lower. 1120 01:29:55,640 --> 01:29:59,040 Lower? [prays aloud]. 1121 01:30:03,880 --> 01:30:08,720 Put on the belt! Oh, yeah, she's not afraid. 1122 01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:12,320 I like brave men. 1123 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:20,880 - The mansion is around here, get ready. - To die? 1124 01:30:21,120 --> 01:30:24,360 But no, to take pictures! I want them perfect. 1125 01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,960 - Good! - I'll punish him, the pig! 1126 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:32,200 - Lorenzo, are you going to answer me? - Micetta, I answered you. 1127 01:30:32,440 --> 01:30:36,160 I'm tired of always seeing you on the sly. 1128 01:30:36,400 --> 01:30:40,280 Now I'm going back to Rome and fix everything with my wife. 1129 01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:46,200 - I have heard this story before. - Honey, things have to mature. 1130 01:30:46,440 --> 01:30:49,640 Antonio, must we die of thirst? 1131 01:30:49,720 --> 01:30:51,000 - Right away, sir. - Come on! 1132 01:30:53,200 --> 01:30:55,520 This is the area. 1133 01:30:56,040 --> 01:31:00,360 Here is the mansion! Ready with the camera? 1134 01:31:00,480 --> 01:31:02,160 - Lean out! - How? 1135 01:31:02,240 --> 01:31:04,280 Lean in, don't be afraid! 1136 01:31:04,520 --> 01:31:08,040 - And who is afraid? - Stand by. Do you see them? 1137 01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:11,080 - Yes. - Photographers, up! 1138 01:31:20,840 --> 01:31:23,360 Why does he fly so low? Is he crazy? 1139 01:31:23,880 --> 01:31:26,920 I saw them! I knew he was with the whore! 1140 01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:30,400 - Did he photograph them? Did he center them? - Yes, in full. 1141 01:31:30,640 --> 01:31:34,840 - Make another one just in case. - No, no... 1142 01:31:35,320 --> 01:31:38,400 - I'm going back to the place, I'm going. - Go. 1143 01:31:47,040 --> 01:31:50,080 - It's my wife's plane! - Your wife's? 1144 01:31:50,320 --> 01:31:53,080 (Yes!) Let's pretend that nothing happened. 1145 01:31:59,120 --> 01:32:01,880 Oh my God. Let's hide. 1146 01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:04,120 In the water! 1147 01:32:07,480 --> 01:32:11,720 He said for business, huh? Did he snap? 1148 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:15,680 - Yes, I snapped. - I'm going further down! 1149 01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:19,800 If I catch it... 1150 01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:24,240 Hide! 1151 01:32:29,520 --> 01:32:32,280 Darling- Ow! 1152 01:32:32,560 --> 01:32:36,840 Ah! I saw them! They were both there! 1153 01:32:37,080 --> 01:32:39,120 I saw them! Ah! 1154 01:32:42,720 --> 01:32:46,320 Ma'am! She has fainted! 1155 01:32:47,720 --> 01:32:49,000 No! 1156 01:32:55,560 --> 01:32:57,600 But what does he do? 1157 01:33:00,440 --> 01:33:03,000 But he kills himself! 1158 01:33:05,320 --> 01:33:11,200 - But then you care about your wife! - Of course, the company is my father-in-law's. 1159 01:33:11,440 --> 01:33:14,320 I of mine don't have a penny! 1160 01:33:14,720 --> 01:33:15,880 Where are you going? 1161 01:33:15,960 --> 01:33:20,600 At the airport control tower, doing something. 1162 01:33:30,920 --> 01:33:32,680 Radio. 1163 01:33:32,920 --> 01:33:36,200 Mom! Help! I'm a lawyer! 1164 01:33:36,640 --> 01:33:41,240 I'm in trouble! Come and get me, I want to get off! 1165 01:33:41,480 --> 01:33:44,560 Try tuning to 42. 1166 01:33:46,400 --> 01:33:49,800 Palmarossa control tower here. 1167 01:33:50,040 --> 01:33:53,600 What's going on? What failure do you have? Qualify. 1168 01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:57,920 I graduated from the University of Perugia in 1964, 1169 01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:02,000 With a thesis on international law. Do I have a chance? 1170 01:34:02,240 --> 01:34:05,880 Palmarossa here. Tango beta, get me the lady. 1171 01:34:07,520 --> 01:34:11,800 Ma'am. Would you like me to make you a coffee Hag? 1172 01:34:12,200 --> 01:34:15,720 - What breakdowns do you have? - All of them! Nardi fainted. 1173 01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:19,520 I am a lawyer And I crapped my pants! 1174 01:34:19,760 --> 01:34:21,520 Give the emergency! 1175 01:34:21,760 --> 01:34:25,440 Don't worry! Do what we tell you to do. 1176 01:34:25,680 --> 01:34:31,280 - Pull the stick in front of you. - I don't have my overshoes on! 1177 01:34:31,520 --> 01:34:34,600 But no. The crescent In front of the driver's seat. 1178 01:34:34,840 --> 01:34:38,320 - You grab her and pull her toward you. - Which one? 1179 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:41,240 You pull it all toward her! 1180 01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:48,320 Tango beta can't hear you anymore! 1181 01:34:59,560 --> 01:35:02,520 Tango beta, did it stabilize the plane? 1182 01:35:02,760 --> 01:35:04,720 What do you mean by stabilized? 1183 01:35:10,640 --> 01:35:12,760 Tango beta, can you hear me? 1184 01:35:20,800 --> 01:35:24,640 Tango beta, something must have happened something to your microphone! 1185 01:35:30,960 --> 01:35:32,520 We have lost contact! 1186 01:35:35,440 --> 01:35:38,000 Don't you want to help me? 1187 01:35:38,240 --> 01:35:40,200 Reinstate the microphone! 1188 01:35:42,520 --> 01:35:47,120 - Get me the control tower, ma'am. - What had happened to you? 1189 01:35:48,640 --> 01:35:51,360 Tango beta, can you hear me? 1190 01:35:51,600 --> 01:35:54,600 Now put it on autopilot. 1191 01:35:54,840 --> 01:35:58,120 Look there is no one here. 1192 01:35:58,360 --> 01:36:00,640 The pilot is one of the buttons in front of her. 1193 01:36:02,280 --> 01:36:04,440 This? 1194 01:36:04,680 --> 01:36:10,200 It is near the control of the automatic tipper, in the center. 1195 01:36:12,280 --> 01:36:14,080 - Found. - How is the plane doing? 1196 01:36:14,720 --> 01:36:18,240 It goes, it goes! Yes -- but where does it go? 1197 01:36:30,720 --> 01:36:33,880 [ambulance siren] 1198 01:36:38,760 --> 01:36:43,000 - What's happening to my wife's plane? - Your wife has fainted. 1199 01:36:43,240 --> 01:36:46,080 There is a gentleman with her, But he can't pilot. 1200 01:36:46,320 --> 01:36:48,200 - Who is he? - An imbecile! 1201 01:36:48,440 --> 01:36:50,520 - We are in contact. - Let's see! 1202 01:36:50,760 --> 01:36:53,200 Is it my wife's plane? 1203 01:36:53,440 --> 01:36:57,040 Emergency teams on standby! 1204 01:36:57,280 --> 01:36:59,480 [control tower operator] It is in sight! 1205 01:36:59,720 --> 01:37:05,040 Move over! Tango beta, this is it. Take it easy! 1206 01:37:05,280 --> 01:37:09,720 Proceed in this direction By lowering yourself. Now straighten up. 1207 01:37:09,960 --> 01:37:13,680 Very good, counselor. Now stay calm. 1208 01:37:13,920 --> 01:37:17,400 You pull it up, though! You pull it up! 1209 01:37:18,320 --> 01:37:20,800 It's coming at us! 1210 01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:23,320 Pull the stick! 1211 01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:34,680 - I'll talk to him. What is he, a lawyer? - I think so. 1212 01:37:34,920 --> 01:37:38,000 Take it easy, I am Mr. Nardi. 1213 01:37:38,240 --> 01:37:42,360 I know--I'm--I'm very calm. 1214 01:37:42,600 --> 01:37:46,280 - Observe my wife. - Yes, just a moment. 1215 01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:49,080 - Nardi] Is it stiff and cold? - Yes. 1216 01:37:49,320 --> 01:37:51,680 - Nardi] Foaming at the mouth? - Yes. 1217 01:37:51,920 --> 01:37:57,360 - It's a little fainting, isn't it? - Nardi] Catatonic hysterical attack. 1218 01:37:57,600 --> 01:38:00,360 Well, I'm lucky! 1219 01:38:00,600 --> 01:38:04,640 - There is only one way to get it back. - Peel] Is this a radio riddle? 1220 01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:07,920 Must have sexual solicitations. 1221 01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:12,040 Excuse me, engineer ... doctor ... 1222 01:38:12,280 --> 01:38:17,400 With a turn of phrase he wants me to understand that I should ... 1223 01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:19,640 He understood very well. 1224 01:38:19,880 --> 01:38:23,720 In order to revive my wife she must have sexual intercourse. 1225 01:38:23,960 --> 01:38:27,480 - Complete with everything? - Of everything. 1226 01:38:30,240 --> 01:38:33,960 - But with whom, sorry? - With her! 1227 01:38:38,040 --> 01:38:44,320 Excuse me, surveyor. Are you physically aware of the lady? 1228 01:38:45,960 --> 01:38:49,920 Yes, but it doesn't matter. Close your eyes, concentrate. 1229 01:38:50,160 --> 01:38:53,240 - Think about Laura Antonelli. - Yes. 1230 01:38:53,480 --> 01:38:58,120 I concentrate, close my eyes And I think about Antonelli. 1231 01:38:58,360 --> 01:38:59,680 So? 1232 01:38:59,760 --> 01:39:03,040 I can think of only the Honorable La Malfa! 1233 01:39:04,120 --> 01:39:07,720 What does it say? Look there is no choice! 1234 01:39:07,960 --> 01:39:12,480 "Eat this soup, or jump out the window!" 1235 01:39:12,720 --> 01:39:14,480 Make up your mind! 1236 01:39:17,400 --> 01:39:21,280 I, almost, would do the window! 1237 01:39:21,520 --> 01:39:23,760 I make my own soup! 1238 01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:25,840 Here, bravo. 1239 01:39:26,080 --> 01:39:31,160 Follow my instructions. With a surprise attack 1240 01:39:31,400 --> 01:39:35,000 Solicit all her erogenous zones. 1241 01:39:37,240 --> 01:39:39,200 From the boobs 1242 01:39:39,440 --> 01:39:44,520 Get down on your thighs And stand by for instructions. 1243 01:39:45,680 --> 01:39:46,720 Is he performing? 1244 01:39:50,560 --> 01:39:55,680 Hello, Mr. Doctor? I'm in trouble. 1245 01:39:55,920 --> 01:40:00,960 - How, in difficulty? - Troubled in the sense of. 1246 01:40:01,840 --> 01:40:04,040 I can no longer find him. 1247 01:40:04,640 --> 01:40:09,400 - What don't you find? - I can't find "the deal" anymore.... 1248 01:40:09,640 --> 01:40:12,480 - But what does it say? - It's not there. 1249 01:40:12,720 --> 01:40:18,680 It will be the pressurization of the cabin and also the lady. 1250 01:40:19,080 --> 01:40:20,640 Sorry. 1251 01:40:22,520 --> 01:40:27,000 Nothing. You know a doll? Flat! 1252 01:40:29,280 --> 01:40:33,960 Start undressing it and you will see that the rest comes by itself. 1253 01:40:34,200 --> 01:40:39,360 - Do you guarantee it? - Sure. Don't underestimate yourself. 1254 01:40:39,760 --> 01:40:41,920 Rivado. 1255 01:41:49,040 --> 01:41:53,080 [he clears his throat and she cries out in joy] 1256 01:41:55,400 --> 01:41:57,360 Tango beta 23! 1257 01:41:57,600 --> 01:42:01,520 Congratulations!!! We have heard Madam's voice. 1258 01:42:01,760 --> 01:42:06,320 - We give you instructions to land. - They call. 1259 01:42:06,560 --> 01:42:10,240 - Can you hear me, ma'am? - [Mrs. Nardi turns off the on-board radio]. 1260 01:42:10,600 --> 01:42:13,360 - But. - [roars]. 1261 01:42:13,600 --> 01:42:17,120 Excuse me, what are you doing? Aren't we landing? 1262 01:42:19,960 --> 01:42:25,520 - Do you like the Balearic Islands? - The Balearic Islands? Why? 1263 01:42:26,200 --> 01:42:30,960 It is a delightful place. A dreamy week. 1264 01:42:31,200 --> 01:42:35,040 - You and me alone. - Alone? 1265 01:42:36,160 --> 01:42:40,120 Look there is a big misunderstanding. 1266 01:42:40,360 --> 01:42:45,000 The task of our study is finished, so we land. 1267 01:42:45,240 --> 01:42:48,880 - I feel sick! - She fainted! 1268 01:42:52,440 --> 01:42:55,520 Window or soup? 1269 01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:02,520 Window. 1270 01:43:14,520 --> 01:43:16,840 Banzai! 1271 01:43:30,280 --> 01:43:32,120 Counselor. 1272 01:43:32,360 --> 01:43:36,240 But where is he? Fatty. 1273 01:43:37,720 --> 01:43:41,480 Counselor, I am your Jade! 1274 01:43:42,600 --> 01:43:45,880 Where is he? Fatty. 1275 01:43:46,440 --> 01:43:48,360 Fatty. 1276 01:43:49,760 --> 01:43:53,600 Among poppies is better than on rails! 1277 01:43:55,360 --> 01:43:58,080 [Mrs. Nardi] But where will he be? 1278 01:44:04,920 --> 01:44:07,440 [makes a C in the chest]. 1279 01:44:08,440 --> 01:44:11,520 [makes another C in the chest]. 1280 01:44:15,480 --> 01:44:18,360 [sings]