1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,206 [birds twittering] 2 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,380 [car alarm chirps] 3 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,509 [dog barking] 4 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,806 - Oh...good morning. 5 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,309 [dog barking] 6 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,525 [glass shatters] 7 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,020 - [groans] 8 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,198 [door creaks] 9 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,720 - [exhales sharply] 10 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,852 Oh! 11 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:10,318 - Oh, my brain is [bleep]. 12 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,902 - Look at this dude. 13 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:15,899 - Oh, Blake, how long have you been up, man? 14 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,117 - Blake! Blake! 15 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,081 - I'm up. I'm up. 16 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,792 I'm up. 17 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,910 Good morning. 18 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,960 [hip-hop music] 19 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:32,957 - ♪ I'm fresh ♪ 20 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,584 ♪♪ 21 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,632 - ♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪ 22 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,254 - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 23 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,257 - Ugh... 24 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,101 our house smells like sweaty taint. 25 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,595 Smells exactly like sweaty taint. 26 00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,688 - That might be your upper lip, man. 27 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,024 - Good one. Burn! You're burnin' me. 28 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,142 - Uh-uh. Seriously. 29 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,940 Like, do you not remember 30 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,653 smearing the poo moustache 31 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,317 and calling yourself Adolf Shitler? 32 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,816 - I remember that. That was- 33 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,534 That was weirdly early in the night, actually. 34 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,948 That was-that was fun. 35 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,992 - I mean, what time did everything even end? 36 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,286 - Who said it ended? 37 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,293 Hey, what's up, fellas? 38 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,210 Now, I know your bellies ready for some of this Eggs Tyrone. 39 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,005 It's off the chain, baby! 40 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,173 You ready to fill them stomachs up 41 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,719 with some hot cheese and eggs? 42 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:22,840 - What up? 43 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,183 - Oh, man, this is cold-blooded. 44 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,392 Y'all changed overnight. 45 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,931 - That's what we do. We change. Okay. 46 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:30,853 - Oh, hello. Don't slam it, dude. 47 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,691 - I'm never drinking again. 48 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,481 - We said the same thing last week. 49 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,856 - I want to die. - No, you don't. 50 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,277 That's just the hangover talking. 51 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,526 We should just drink more. It'll make us feel better. 52 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,871 - No, I'm not 16. I can't drink like that anymore. 53 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,910 - Oh, come on, Blakeypoo. 54 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,749 Have a beer for Mama. Have a beer for- 55 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,834 - No, get that away. I'll puke if I smell it. 56 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,045 - Guys, I have a headache, so quiet. 57 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:57,213 - Whoa-ho-ho! Blon-ders in the building! 58 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,835 Oh. [laughs] 59 00:02:58,970 --> 00:02:59,881 - What-ders? 60 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,347 - Take a peeksy. 61 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,842 - Oh, my- Aah! 62 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,388 Oh, my God, is that real? 63 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,682 Did you do this to me? - No. 64 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:09,679 Oh, now I remember. 65 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:10,726 Remember last night, 66 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,395 he kept talking about Jared Leto from Fight Club? 67 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,018 - Oh, yeah! 68 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,394 - And here we are. 69 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,395 - My God, I was. Okay. 70 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,612 All right, all right. That's it. That's it. 71 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,107 I've put my career in jeopardy for the last time. 72 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,779 We've got to stop drinking. 73 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,368 - What? - Yeah. 74 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,907 You know what? You're right. 75 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,905 Let's do it. Let's-let's do it. 76 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,875 Let's make sure we don't have one of those weird problems. 77 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,789 - Yeah. - Quit drinking? 78 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,834 Wha- I-I-I don't- 79 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,127 I can't even- I'm- 80 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,215 - I'm sorry. 81 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,130 If you probably couldn't handle it, then we'll do it. 82 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,218 That's fine. 83 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,258 - No, I could han- I can quit. 84 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,972 I'm not drinking right now. 85 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,717 Fully in control of my addiction, so... 86 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,765 - Cool. How long are we thinking? 87 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,886 Maybe, like... 88 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,229 - A month? - Like, two days. 89 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,768 - Two days? 90 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,688 - If I wasn't so drunk right now, I'd smack you. 91 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,437 - A week. - A week. 92 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,656 - Totally sober for a week. What do you guys say? 93 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,319 - This is me saying yes. 94 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:04,943 - All right. Deal? - Deal. 95 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,660 - Yeah. - Okay. 96 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:07,778 Let's do it, then. 97 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,906 Let's make a pinkie promise, make this official. 98 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,078 - All right. - Do we have to? 99 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,746 - Come on, now. Get in here, you two. 100 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,960 - Get up in the mix. 101 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,295 - I actually like it. 102 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,962 all: Mmmmmmwah! 103 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,334 - I don't think this is gonna be that hard, right? 104 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,632 We just do what we do... whenever we do what we do 105 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,925 but without drinking. 106 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,298 - ♪ She's my cherry pie ♪ 107 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,925 - Think about it. 108 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,471 That's someone's child, 109 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,687 a father's daughter. 110 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,271 - Judging from the C-section scar, 111 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,640 I'd say she's a mother herself. 112 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,733 Sweetie, have you had lunch today? 113 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:41,104 - $9 for a ginger ale? 114 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:46,196 [jackhammer pounding] 115 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,695 Haven't they heard of night construction? 116 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:52,540 Like, they're being so rude out there. 117 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,499 - No, sir, I'm not a country music fan either. 118 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,539 Just personally... 119 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,002 - [making flatulence noises] 120 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,712 - This is Reba, and these are her hits. 121 00:04:58,840 --> 00:04:59,921 - [making flatulence noises] 122 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,461 - Hello. 123 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,300 Can you stop? I just lost a sale. 124 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,339 What are you even doing? 125 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,507 - I'm making an app 126 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,847 that translates farts into English. 127 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,182 - That's great. So what's your business model? 128 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,551 Are you gonna program it? 129 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,393 Do you even have a target demo that you're thinking of? 130 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,230 - Well, I don't think that Fartsi needs one of those 131 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:20,443 once the blog buzzes gets to it. 132 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,186 [making flatulence noises] 133 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,029 Canoe, or small boat. 134 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,364 - I'm friends with a nine-year-old boy. 135 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,528 This is great. 136 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,526 - And I'm, like, great friends, apparently, 137 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,153 with Ric Flair, so that's cool too. 138 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,529 Whoo! 139 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,156 - Guys, I know that we're all struggling 140 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,498 with our sobriety right now. 141 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,288 I really feel we should go cold turkey. 142 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,036 - I don't think that's what they mean by that. 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,538 - No. - No, what do you mean? 144 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,710 That's exactly what it means. 145 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,378 Dr. Drew said the best way to quit drinking 146 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,796 is by going cold turkey. 147 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:48,512 And he's a doctor, so why would you question...doctors? 148 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,882 - So true. - What's up with your headset? 149 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:55,136 - What's up, uh, with your old face, Anders? 150 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,979 - No... - Or should I say "Blon-ders"? 151 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,723 That's funny. Why don't you go back in your area? 152 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,475 - I just saw you lick your microphone. 153 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,646 - No, you didn't. - What is that? 154 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,064 - This is my office space! - Is that- 155 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,062 - You're intruding my office space right now. 156 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,780 - Oh, my God, that's booze! - Get out of here! 157 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,399 - No, that's booze. - Stop it! 158 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,071 - Oh, lookee here. 159 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,446 Mr. Cold Turkey put a mini booze bottle in his headset? 160 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,416 - I really like your ingenuity, but... 161 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,829 destroy ze prototype. 162 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,247 - Gladly. - No, that's my- 163 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,462 You know how many minutes of tinkering that took me? 164 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,377 It took me, like, seven minutes to make. 165 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,715 - We took an oath, all right? 166 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,254 - Yeah. You're not special. 167 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,342 - I am special. 168 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,631 That's why I took all those special classes 169 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,674 in high school. 170 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,263 Why do you think you can boss me around, huh... 171 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,178 Slim Shady? 172 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,643 - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - I'm a big boy, Slim Shady. 173 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,806 - I'm not Slim Shady. - That's a trigger word. 174 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,145 That's a trigger. 175 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,263 - I'm Marshall Mathers or something even cooler. 176 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,890 - You know what? I don't give a shoot. 177 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,609 I'm gonna go back to work, eat my cold turkey, 178 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,902 and beat this addiction like the boss that I am. 179 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,449 Psych! 180 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,193 Oh! What? 181 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,319 There's a boss move! 182 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,912 - That's it! - Hey, hey! 183 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,247 - I'm the boss! - Okay, look. 184 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,331 All right, I know this is really tough for us- 185 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,167 like, bizarrely tough for us- 186 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,582 but I know something that can cool us out. 187 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,206 Check it out. I got some Dank William Juniors. 188 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,298 Got it from Karl. 189 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,463 Two nugs for my two best buds. Let's- 190 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,631 - Sober means sober, okay? 191 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,720 No weed, no booze, no nothing. 192 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,805 - Yeah, if I can't drink, you can't smoke weed. 193 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,095 - Right. - What? 194 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,467 - Unless we want to smoke weed. 195 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,060 We should smoke weed, I feel. 196 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,349 - No! - Let's smoke some weed. 197 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,474 - I'm so sorry, but we're not doing this! 198 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,066 We took an oath! Just go back to work. 199 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,401 - You destroy something of mine, 200 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,144 I destroy something of yours. 201 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,148 - Oh-ho! Guess what. I also destroy your stuff. 202 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,320 - Yep. That's right. - I'm gonna destroy- 203 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,988 Oh, that's my stuff. - I'm gonna take this. 204 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,201 And I'm gonna just... 205 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,289 get rid of your stuff, you stupid dummy! 206 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,795 - Hi. 207 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,501 - Before you can say anything, you should know 208 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,673 that we're in the process of going sober right now, 209 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,764 so that's why we're, "Aah." 210 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,757 - I didn't realize that. 211 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,509 How long has it been since your last drink? 212 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,355 - Um, it's going on, like, 20 hours. 213 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,189 - Good job. - Well, I can, um... 214 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,354 I can understand what you guys are going through. 215 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,979 I'm actually two years sober myself. 216 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,823 - Whoa. - Whoa! Ugh! Wow. 217 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,988 Wow, sounds like you had a real problem. 218 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,486 - We're not trying to go sober sober. 219 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,702 We're just trying to- 220 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,288 - We're just kind of pumping the brakes, 221 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,873 you know, doing the Hollywood cleanse. 222 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:21,991 - Yeah. Yeah, we are. 223 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,334 - We drank, like, a weird amount, 224 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,702 but, like, it'd be weirder to stop. 225 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:25,874 - Yeah, that would be weird. 226 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,588 - Straight-edge people are weird. 227 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,082 - Okay, here's the deal. 228 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,298 You're gonna clock out, 229 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,259 and you're gonna go see Eric in HR. 230 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,219 Then you're gonna take a substance-abuse course 231 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,883 before you can start working again. 232 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,257 - I don't know if we necessarily need 233 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,473 to take a substance-abuse course- 234 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,933 - Or I can fire you. 235 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,802 - Wow, we just dodged a bullet. 236 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,056 - She definitely could have axed the Brothers McMuffins. 237 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,898 That's us. - Oh, cool. 238 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,643 - We don't have a substance-abuse problem. 239 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,440 If anything, we have a Subway abuse problem. 240 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,939 We destroy $5 foot-longs. - Yeah, we do. 241 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,064 - I don't know, man. 242 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,907 Maybe we do have a substance-abuse problem. 243 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,743 - Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe we do. 244 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,237 Maybe we don't. I don't know. 245 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,115 You know? I'm not the king of substance abuse. 246 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,412 All I do know is, I got to go pinch out a growler, 247 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,955 and it's a furious beast. 248 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,498 So I'm gonna go do that... - Okay. 249 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,166 - And I'll see you guys at the headshrinker's office. 250 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,586 - Dude, hurry up. We're supposed to be there now. 251 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,710 - Yeah, I'm gonna go hurry up my bowel movement 252 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,053 so I'm not two minutes late for some fake-ass class. 253 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,797 Yeah! 254 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,096 Yeah, Blon-ders, that's a good idea. 255 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,594 That's a good- That's a good idea. 256 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,096 [hip-hop music] 257 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,267 - ♪ You gotta ♪ - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 258 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,308 - ♪ He's insane ♪ 259 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,064 - [making flatulence noises] 260 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,655 [recorded sound plays] 261 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,115 - Dude, Adam better hurry up. 262 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,656 It's like, the guy never listens to me. 263 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,825 - [making flatulence noises] ChapStick. 264 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,993 - Okay, I'm going to sock you in the mouth 265 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,616 if you don't cut it out with that crap! 266 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,961 - It's not crap. It's farts. - Whoa! TMI. 267 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,705 That stands for too much information. 268 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,627 - Oh, we weren't even-that's- - Oh, I don't care. 269 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,295 Come on, have a seat. Not this one. 270 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,963 [chuckles] - Okay. 271 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,214 - A little BG on me: I do HR- 272 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:02,183 means human resources- here at TAC. 273 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,472 My name is Eric Rossdale. 274 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,266 Some people call me "Cool Eric." 275 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,104 They called me that once. Some young people too. 276 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,475 Some young-some- One young person did that. 277 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,817 I love people. 278 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,186 To say that another way, 279 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,688 I love people! 280 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,611 That one's got a little more fun to it, doesn't it? 281 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,325 Okay, we are here today... 282 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,661 - Uh... - Why are you pointing at him? 283 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,246 - Help out with substance abuse- 284 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,660 Well, I'm just trying to bring everybody into it. 285 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,499 Help out with substance abuse. 286 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,243 Okay? And how do I do that? 287 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,995 Well, one way is to work through this workbook, 288 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,087 start to finish. 289 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,298 We do every single drill in this thing. 290 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,838 I sign a piece of paper saying you've cleaned up your act, 291 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,802 but more importantly, we have dug out 292 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,671 the roots of your addiction. 293 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,844 And you're looking at me like, "What happened to that guy 294 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,638 we called cool two seconds ago?" 295 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,852 He's right here. How 'bout this instead? 296 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,269 How 'bout we fire up some Step Brothers on the Blu-ray, 297 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,356 We chill out a little bit- 298 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,520 How does that sound to you? 299 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,985 - Yeah, that sounds...awesome. - Yeah. 300 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,445 - Okay, great. 301 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:59,065 Before we start, let me do some attendance, if that's okay. 302 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,566 Uh, Black Anderson. 303 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,864 - Uh, I-I think that's me. 304 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,986 - Oh, terrific. 305 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,533 Oh, 'cause of the curly hair, like a black man. 306 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,906 That's fun. 307 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,157 Anders Holmvik. 308 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,909 - Yeah, right here. - Yeah, Norwegian. 309 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,831 - Yeah. - Yeah. Hvordan går det? 310 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,750 - Oh, is that- No, I don't speak... 311 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,215 - Hvordan går det? - Much of the language. 312 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,208 - Oh. Oh, you should. 313 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,801 Oh, no, it's a beautiful country. 314 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,261 And Adam Demamp. 315 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,506 - Actually, Adam's running a little- 316 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,007 - Uh, I am Adam. 317 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,064 - Well, I hope you like sandwiches, Adam, 318 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,854 'cause I got a backpack full of 'em. 319 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,398 Well, they're kind of hot 'cause they were in my backpack. 320 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,148 This is a tuna. That's made out of tuna. 321 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,650 This is a slightly hotter tuna. 322 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:43,901 - What is that? Oh. 323 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,700 - And I've got a hot, hot tuna coming through. 324 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:50,495 Okay. And I'll turn off the lights. 325 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,084 - Dude, where's Adam? 326 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,703 - I don't know, but he's gonna be pissed. 327 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:54,749 He loves this movie. 328 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,464 [men shouting] 329 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,504 - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 330 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,502 Oh, oh! 331 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,300 all: Oh! 332 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:07,721 - Goooooal! 333 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,220 - [laughing] 334 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,188 Pendejos. 335 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,773 - Adam gets it. 336 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,018 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! 337 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,485 [all cheering] 338 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,229 Thank you, thank you. 339 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,572 You guys deserve some of the credit. 340 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,907 I deserve a little bit more, but thank you very much. 341 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,617 - Hey, nice shot, buddy. Have a beer. 342 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,156 Hello. No. I'm good. 343 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,621 I'm in a sober pact with my buddies. 344 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,116 It's pretty dumb. I hate it. But I can't. 345 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,993 However you say no in Spanish, 346 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,337 that is what I'm saying to you, my Mexican friend. 347 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,206 - What, you one of them straight-edge weirdos? 348 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,800 - No. 349 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,966 Maybe just a little sip, right? 350 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:45,963 Maybe. 351 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,089 - [laughing] - Go! 352 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,557 - Well, we all have- Whoa. Everything- 353 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,267 What's happening? Should I pause it? 354 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,557 Ooh, must have been the bad tuna. 355 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,146 - I am Adam. 356 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,482 - You hold it right there, bud. 357 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,942 - Well, well, look who's too good for his friends. 358 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,527 Buddy, if you want to ditch on the class, 359 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,897 I get that, but we took an oath! 360 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,739 - Yeah, we did our secret pinkie promise. 361 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,824 You had your finger in my mouth. 362 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,660 - No, I know that. Slow your mouth down, okay? 363 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,699 I didn't break any oath. 364 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,197 So don't even go there, okay? 365 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,573 - No, you're the one who's going there. 366 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:13,825 We're here. You're there. 367 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,667 - No, I'm here. You're there. 368 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,161 You've been up there the whole time. 369 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,458 You don't know what's going on out here. 370 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:19,625 I didn't drink anything. - Well, we're here now! 371 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,248 - Oh, you didn't drink anything? - No! He handed- 372 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:22,340 He passed me the beer. I didn't drink- 373 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,425 - What about that little thing you had on your head, huh? 374 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,170 I feel like I'm at the doors of the labyrinth 375 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,922 and everything he's saying is a lie. 376 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,173 - Yeah. - Is that how we're gonna do? 377 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,016 Guess what. I'm gonna do this right now. 378 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,430 - No, you put it down. Adam, give me that beer. 379 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,678 - I'm just gonna shoot him with this nail gun. 380 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,896 Is there a safety on this? - Hey, put it down. 381 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,686 - I'm not gonna kill him, just in the knee. 382 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,104 - Oh, and it's gonna be so good too. 383 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,772 This is such a dumb plan! 384 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,361 - Get down right now! 385 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,071 - Hey, you put that beer down. - I'm drinking it now. 386 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,406 - Drop the beer, man! - Don't- 387 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,696 - We're doing this for you, you moron! 388 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,694 I'm doing this for your- 389 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,366 - Oh, we got it. - I'm trying to help you. 390 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,206 - You see, Adam, the thing about this stuff is... 391 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,291 it's poison. 392 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,284 It really is. 393 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,331 - No. What are you doing? 394 00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,874 God, don't you guys have any restraint? 395 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,998 You should see yourselves. It's pathetic. 396 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:05,342 Okay? We're done with this beer. Let's go back to work. 397 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,721 - Drop that. 398 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,056 - Agh! 399 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,894 - Oh, great. 400 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,264 You guys want it, you got it. 401 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,476 - Oh, funky butt-lovin'! 402 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,399 - Did he just say, "Funky butt-lovin'"? 403 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,566 - Yeah. 404 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,452 - I've gotta be honest with you guys. 405 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,116 I'm a little confused right now, okay? 406 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,580 'Cause one minute, we're having fun, 407 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,745 and the next minute I got a cerveza in the face. 408 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,209 Do you not like Step Brothers? 409 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,124 - No, it's great. Funny movie. - It's awesome. 410 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,121 - You guys and Diego got to watch Step Brothers? 411 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,373 - Yeah. But guess what. It's off. 412 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,341 And you can forget about the deleted scenes too, 413 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,755 because we're going back to the workbook. 414 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,924 - Oh. - Come on, don't be bogus. 415 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,422 - And you don't clock back in to work 416 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,968 until you've gone through every exercise. 417 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,091 And that means you're not gonna get paid 418 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,138 until you do this right. 419 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,682 Okay, so exercise one. 420 00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,555 Oh, art therapy. This'll be fun. 421 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,736 All right, I want you to draw a picture of your addiction. 422 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,604 Okay, so what does addiction look like to you? 423 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,948 - Addiction. Get it? 424 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,113 A dick shin. 425 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,407 Next-level Far Side stuff, dude. 426 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,615 - Keep it up, funny guys. 427 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,582 But I'm not going anywhere! 428 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,954 Next exercise is to write a letter to yourself 429 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,580 five years from today. 430 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,298 - And once all 25 of the Demamp spawn 431 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,419 have grown up and graduated from sculpture school... 432 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,840 - Not a real thing. - It is. 433 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,635 We'll pick the best one to make a statue of our body, 434 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,973 and then Nike will probably buy it... 435 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,091 - Probably not. 436 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,093 - And make all their mannequins exact replicas of it, 437 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,765 because our body is the perfect human form- 438 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,308 - You're fat. 439 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,683 - Yeah, you guys are as funny as the step brothers, aren't you? 440 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,025 Except guess what. 441 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,611 The step brothers don't have a drinking problem. 442 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:51,573 Okay, so next exercise, number 11, 443 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,987 finish my sentences. 444 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,781 This one is pretty... - Self-explanatory. 445 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,823 - Yes, but I haven't actually- 446 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,821 - You haven't actually had sex with an animal? Okay. 447 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:58,947 - Yeah, but we got to stick- 448 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,040 - Our butt cheeks together and clap our hands? 449 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,831 - All right, you know what? I don't want to- 450 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:03,873 - Do this exercise? 451 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:04,995 - Yeah, neither do I. Let's not do it. 452 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,088 - Okay. You're welcome. 453 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,582 - And the last one is sock puppets. 454 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,209 I know. I know it sounds ridiculous. 455 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,051 But you're not getting paid until you do it. 456 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,421 Plus, it says it's a lot of fun. 457 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,639 On the other hand, it is a sock puppet saying that. 458 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,598 I don't know if you can really take his word for it. 459 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,595 [ethereal music] 460 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:24,019 ♪♪ 461 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,188 Okay, those are... great, actually. 462 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,813 So let's use 'em. - This is so dumb. 463 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,280 I'm not gonna do this. 464 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,570 - Dude, it's not about you. Okay? Sock up. 465 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,692 - Use the puppet. 466 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,117 - Fine. This is dumb. 467 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,535 Almost as dumb as not drinking for an entire week. 468 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,455 - Everything you don't want to do is dumb. 469 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,954 - And Fartsi's a genius idea! 470 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,832 - Yeah. For once, Adam's right, Blake. 471 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,799 It's time you grew up and put your time towards 472 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,965 something that's worth something to somebody 473 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,177 anywhere on this planet. 474 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,422 - Get him! 475 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,347 - Don't tell me what to do. 476 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:05,439 You're not the boss of me, you fake-ass grown-up. 477 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,727 - Ooh! 478 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,725 - Oh, I'm sorry, maybe if you weren't so immature, 479 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,068 I wouldn't have to hold your hand 480 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,312 and wipe your ass for you. 481 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,359 - Okay, that was one time. 482 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,108 And I told you, I've never been camping before. 483 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,282 - Hey, guys, why don't we talk about me now? 484 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,075 - Oh, of course. Who could forget you? 485 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,743 I love how it takes us to quit drinking 486 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,116 to remember how selfish 487 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,995 Adam "The Main Attraction" Demamp really is. 488 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,587 - Oh, I like how you're using that nickname 489 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,502 to hurt my feelings, but guess what, Anders. 490 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,125 - Yeah? - I love it. 491 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,924 And I'm gonna use it all the time now. 492 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,217 - Do you ever stop talking? 493 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,760 - Yeah, Blake, I'll agree. 494 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,882 But at least he knows 495 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,351 how to write a rent check on time, like an adult. 496 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,017 - Mm-hmm. - Oh. You want me to grow up? 497 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,606 Yeah, I'm immature. I'm real immature. 498 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:53,479 But I'm immature because I know, when I grow up, 499 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,321 it means I'm gonna be that much closer 500 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,985 to moving away from you guys 501 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,201 and marrying girls and stuff. 502 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,196 - Come on, man, don't say that. 503 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,744 - No. 504 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,867 He's right. 505 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,336 [voice breaking] I'm sorry too. 506 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:13,798 I know I can be self-centered sometimes, but... 507 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,542 I never heard "no" growing up. 508 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:18,967 Now that I've logged 10,000 hours of being a brat, 509 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,431 I'm just a total self-serving outlier, 510 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,427 and that's not how Adam "The Main Attraction" Demamp 511 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,723 wants to live! 512 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,721 - Oh, man. Adam, look. [sniffles] 513 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,519 It's hard to say no to that face. 514 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,936 It's a cute one. - It is. 515 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,229 - Thank you. 516 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,273 - I know I can be controlling sometimes, 517 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,943 but it's just because I care about you, 518 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,191 and I want the best for you. 519 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,159 But sometimes I don't know what's best. 520 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,825 And that- that scares me. 521 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,199 - Life...is...scary. 522 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,372 - I know that I can tell you guys this 523 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,667 and you won't judge me. 524 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:57,589 I...like...you guys! 525 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,006 - [crying] I like you too, man! 526 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,551 I like you. Let's stop fighting. 527 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,969 - Let's stop fighting. I like you guys! 528 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,434 I like you guys! 529 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,100 - Wow. That was intense. 530 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,268 This book works. 531 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,063 I mean, you guys made actual progress today. 532 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,606 And it was because of... 533 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,320 - Us. - Me! 534 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,191 I got to- Congratulations. You pass. 535 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,612 - Really? - Cool. Thank you so much. 536 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,734 - Thanks, Cool Eric. 537 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,236 - Yeah, just leave your puppets at the door, 538 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,488 and here's your release form. 539 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,704 - You are cool. - Thanks. 540 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,370 Um, actually, is it cool if I keep mine? 541 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,538 - Yeah, me too. - Yeah. 542 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,662 - I keep all puppets. 543 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,592 - That was, uh...weird. 544 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,555 - Yeah. 545 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,550 Being sober makes you really see things 546 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,722 the way they really are. 547 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,597 - So...what now? 548 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,854 - Whoo! - Whoa! 549 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,521 Drinks for my buddies! 550 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,190 - All right. - Send 'em down. 551 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,904 - Sendin' 'em down. 552 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,568 - [making flatulence noises] 553 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,488 That means "thank you"! 554 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,906 I'm making an app that translates farts. 555 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,451 - Oh, baby, that sounds amazing. 556 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,323 Now, give big mama some money. 557 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,075 - All right, now, you got to do it right, okay? 558 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,703 Let's graze the skin. 559 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,831 Then put it under the strap. 560 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:17,922 See the goose bumps? 561 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,916 - Oh, she's feeling you, dude. 562 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,884 I don't even mind the pregnancy scars. 563 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,674 - Hell, I like 'em. - Those are cool! 564 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,549 - These chicks get it! - Yeah! 565 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,768 - Let's hear it for Eunice. 566 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,761 And coming to the stage now, 567 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,604 the seductive Karen. 568 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,565 Get at it, boys. 569 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,104 - That guy is awesome! - Yeah. 570 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,274 - Take my money. - What's he doing? 571 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,945 - Oh, dude! Aah! You are awesome! 572 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,612 You should come to our house and party, 573 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,407 and bring Eunice and all these awesome chicks. 574 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,581 - [laughs] Heil, Shitler! 575 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,120 - Cool, cool. Definitely. 576 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,120 - Shitler party, both: Shitler party, yeah. 577 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,293 - Wow, I don't know what that means! 578 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,291 - Nice. 579 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,419 [dog snorting, noisemaker toots] 580 00:21:04,419 --> 00:21:06,419 Retail subrip by jeem.