1 00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:04,078 ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,167 --> 00:00:05,787 Brice: Coming this Friday to Earth, 3 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,125 it's [Echoing] Blood Barn, 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,788 the annual intergalactic cockfighting tournament. 5 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,495 [ Chicken clucks ] That's right. 6 00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:13,833 See the galaxy's top chickens duel to the [Echoing] death 7 00:00:13,917 --> 00:00:17,287 for intergalactic glory, hosted by me, Brett Brice. 8 00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:20,415 [ Soft music plays ] I'm actually against the whole thing, 9 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,790 but my baby was born with a serious heart condition 10 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:25,035 and if I don't pay the bills, she'll surely [Echoing] die. 11 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,915 Blood Barn is sponsored by Intergalactic FDA. 12 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,210 Earth is finally hosting Blood Barn, 13 00:00:30,292 --> 00:00:32,792 and after years of humiliation, Earth must win. 14 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,915 We'll finally have the respect of the League of Planets. 15 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,580 This could be big for Hot Streets and for me -- 16 00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,577 finally, a seat at the big-boy table. 17 00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:41,747 But Earth's chickens are just food pillows 18 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,463 that poop tasty circles. 19 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,792 They can't fight. 20 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,075 That's why you'll be fighting in their place 21 00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:49,457 disguised as chickens. 22 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:50,632 Your mission -- win Blood Barn. 23 00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:52,458 I presume you made us beaks. 24 00:00:52,542 --> 00:00:54,422 Only the finest. 25 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,285 Beaks on, ready to peck. 26 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,288 Where's Jen? I have an extremely important question for her. 27 00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:05,325 I sent her and Chubbie on vacation to Fort Lauderdale. 28 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,077 Fort Lauderdale is heaven. 29 00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,247 Ah. 30 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,293 Incoming call from Jet Junior. 31 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:14,125 Jet Junior? Wow. This must be important. 32 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,578 Jen, I know you're on vacation, 33 00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,957 but I have an important question only you can answer. 34 00:01:18,042 --> 00:01:19,502 It's unrelated to Hot Streets. 35 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:20,423 Shoot. 36 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,330 Warning -- this question is pretty deep. 37 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:24,327 You'll have to put on your mental scuba gear. 38 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,917 Got it. I'm ready. 39 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,540 Fair warning -- Your very brain is about to embark 40 00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,535 on a perilous journey far from the soft sands 41 00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,825 of Fort Lauderdale. 42 00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:31,827 Okay. 43 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:35,997 Jen, why are things the way they are?! 44 00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:37,083 Excuse me? 45 00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:40,667 Why are things the way they are? 46 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,250 That is a question. 47 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,293 I mean, I'd -- I'd have to think about it. 48 00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:46,995 Get me that answer. 49 00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:49,883 [ Cellphone beeps ] Why are things the way they are? 50 00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:50,538 I can do this. 51 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,325 [ Panting ] Hey! 52 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:56,037 Wuh, wuh. 53 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,245 [ Chatter ] 54 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,173 Chicken check-in is right over there. 55 00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,540 Do Earth proud and murder those chickens. 56 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:01,665 Don't worry, Jet. 57 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,790 Just leave the fighting to me. 58 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,825 I'm checking in on behalf of Earth. 59 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,667 We only have one qualifying question. 60 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,710 Are you a chicken? No. 61 00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:13,882 I'm sorry. You can't enter this competition. 62 00:02:13,958 --> 00:02:14,578 Damn. They got me. 63 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,747 Are you a chicken? 64 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,003 Yes? 65 00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:19,883 Welcome to the competition. 66 00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:22,288 Well, Branski, you tried your best. 67 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,075 I blew it. [ Sighs ] 68 00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:25,877 Why are things the way they are? 69 00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,878 Believe me, I don't know. 70 00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:31,328 I just don't know. 71 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,707 Well, better get to our seats. 72 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,382 Don't want to miss that first drop of blood. 73 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,168 Uh...Aah! 74 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:38,750 [ Clanking ] 75 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,292 Time to get processed. 76 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:46,787 Aah! 77 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,325 [ Whimpering ] 78 00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:51,497 Antibiotics -- beaks open. 79 00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,382 [ Groaning ] 80 00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,132 Is this normal? 81 00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:00,418 You must be new. 82 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,250 This is the way all chickens are treated. 83 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,383 They call me Boraxis the Bludgeoner. 84 00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:05,538 Donald French. 85 00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,785 I've only ever known this life of blood, 86 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:08,785 so if I win, 87 00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:11,575 I'll devote the rest of my new life caring for him. 88 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:12,747 A tasty circle? 89 00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:16,133 This tasty circle is my child. 90 00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:17,328 [ Clanking ] 91 00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:18,747 You're up, Bludgeoner. 92 00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:22,963 [ Cheers and applause ] 93 00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:24,542 [ Bones crack ] 94 00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:25,915 Aah! 95 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,500 [ Grunting ] 96 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,463 The Bludgeoner is the chicken to beat. 97 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,172 I hope French can do this for Hot Street. 98 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,540 I don't know. 99 00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:34,625 I'm kind of rooting for Bludgeoner at this point. 100 00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:35,918 He's my kind of chicken. 101 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,130 What about the League of Planets? 102 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,788 Let's heat it up, Bludgeoner! 103 00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:42,075 Ooh, only the Bludgeoner is left. 104 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:43,707 Good luck, pal. 105 00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:44,632 Whoa! All: [ Chanting ] Blood! Blood! 106 00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,668 Blood! Blood! [ Camera shutters clicking ] 107 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,210 Blood! Blood! Blood! 108 00:03:50,292 --> 00:03:51,332 It's down to these two chickens. 109 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:54,127 By the way, I'm not into this reprehensible blood sport. 110 00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:57,958 News flash -- All animals have the capacity to love, 111 00:03:58,042 --> 00:03:58,792 and some even get married. 112 00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:01,075 It's true! [ Grunts ] 113 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:05,287 I'm sorry, my friend, but I must kill you now. 114 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,375 [ Grunts ] Ah! 115 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:09,288 [ Cheers and applause ] 116 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,825 [ Grunts ] 117 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,287 [ Grunts ] 118 00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:16,625 ♪♪ 119 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,667 [ Grunts ] Boraxis. 120 00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,500 What a grisly spectacle. 121 00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:25,833 Nonetheless, congrats to Earth and to Hot Streets. 122 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,327 [ Coughs ] 123 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:32,207 French, take care of, uh, my son. 124 00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:34,632 All: [ Chanting ] Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! 125 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,248 You took a tip to the lip, case closed. 126 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:40,253 Earth will finally have respect throughout the galaxy 127 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,963 thanks to you. Yeah. 128 00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,002 [ Chirping ] 129 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:46,173 Oh, my God. 130 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,670 Don't worry, little Bludgeoner. 131 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,460 I'm going to take you to a farm full of Earth chickens. 132 00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,882 [ Chirps ] 133 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,170 [ Brakes squeal ] 134 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,080 Looks like a pretty nice place. 135 00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:57,877 [ Chirping ] Hello there. 136 00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:00,288 This is going to be your new home. 137 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,075 [ Chirps ] 138 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:08,290 Aah! Nothing but gizzard in here, no meat. 139 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,915 Worthless. 140 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,540 My God. 141 00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:17,495 [ Chickens clucking ] 142 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,543 This is how you treat chickens? 143 00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:22,075 You're a monster. 144 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:22,747 But who eats them? 145 00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:23,923 Oh, that's right. 146 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,380 We farmers do the dirty work 147 00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:27,458 so all you chicken eaters don't have to. 148 00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:32,132 You think I like killing defenseless chickens, huh? 149 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:33,705 [ Deep voice ] I do! 150 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,582 I love it! 151 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:37,917 Aah! 152 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,330 [ Dramatic music playing ] 153 00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:41,707 All farmers are like this! 154 00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:43,632 [ Tires screech ] 155 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,998 [ Dialing ] 156 00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,923 Someone is asking too many questions. 157 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,830 Why are things the way they are? 158 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:50,957 Hmm. Why?! 159 00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:53,502 I have to figure this out! 160 00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:54,253 Hey! [ Whimpers ] 161 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:57,213 Why are things the way they are? 162 00:05:57,292 --> 00:06:00,962 Leave me alone, Chubbie, you fucking asshole! 163 00:06:01,042 --> 00:06:04,712 I don't know why things are the way they are! 164 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:05,752 Yet. 165 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:09,423 [ Chanting ] Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! 166 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,710 Aah! 167 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:13,132 You've been having chicken nightmares all night. 168 00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:16,458 French, do animals like you have feelings? 169 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:17,672 Of course they do. 170 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,960 I love you just as much as you love me. 171 00:06:20,042 --> 00:06:22,752 People don't understand this about critters. 172 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,633 It's our cross to bear. 173 00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,328 The world must know, 174 00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,997 and I'm going to tell them. 175 00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,672 Ah. Ah. 176 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:34,710 Both: Why are things the way they are? 177 00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:36,132 All: [ Chanting ] Love! Love! 178 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:39,078 Chickens feel human love in their hearts -- love! 179 00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:41,167 French, what's all this hooey? 180 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,290 We all eat food. Chicken is food. 181 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:45,245 I happen to prefer mine very dry. 182 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:48,383 Now let's get back to Hot Streets. But -- 183 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:49,668 But nothing. 184 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:50,750 Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind 185 00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:52,003 about eating chicken. 186 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,793 Chickens are tender, Branski, 187 00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:55,575 and not how you think. 188 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,327 They're tender in their hearts! 189 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,627 Okay. I'm onboard. We shouldn't kill chickens. 190 00:07:01,708 --> 00:07:02,878 Chickens are tender. 191 00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:04,578 Chickens are sweet. Chickens can love. 192 00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,378 French, look out! [ Gunshot ] 193 00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:08,708 [ All screaming ] 194 00:07:08,792 --> 00:07:12,212 ♪♪ 195 00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:13,832 Aah! Who do you work for? 196 00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:17,287 [ Gunshot ] 197 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:19,825 Dang. Harsh. They kill their own. 198 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,707 He has a business card. 199 00:07:20,792 --> 00:07:22,332 The FDA? 200 00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:26,497 Jet Junior, we have a Hot Streets for you. 201 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,293 That's not how things work here. 202 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:31,325 The FDA has been condoning chicken brutality for years. 203 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,497 We have to take them down. 204 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:33,883 Take down the FDA? 205 00:07:33,958 --> 00:07:36,168 French is right. 206 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,670 Earth is only as strong as our weakest chicken. 207 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,880 You had me at, "French is right," 208 00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:42,578 even though I have zero to personally gain from this. 209 00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:45,915 We'll head out soon, but first, 210 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,500 I have an extremely pressing matter to check on. 211 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,293 [ Cellphone chimes ] 212 00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,535 Jen, where's my answer? 213 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:55,075 I -- I don't think I can do this. 214 00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:56,327 You have to. 215 00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:59,917 In summation, we found food is better going in than coming out. 216 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,830 Who's in charge here?! 217 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:03,957 Me. 218 00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,882 Chickens! What about them? 219 00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:07,748 Did you know chickens are pumped full of hormones 220 00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:10,043 to accelerate their growth rate by 65%? 221 00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:11,165 Many can't even use their legs! 222 00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,580 They're overpacked into coops 223 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,417 and forced into so-called kill cones 224 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,210 or even gas chambers. 225 00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,752 And they love. 226 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,923 Chickens love like us humans. 227 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,290 I never... You sent an assassin to shoot French. 228 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:27,285 Believe me, I don't know anything about that. 229 00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,705 There are a lot of things you don't know, Commissioner. 230 00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:33,002 Sometimes, you have to bury the truth to pay the bills. 231 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,833 We did this in the name of profit?! 232 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,287 You are fired! From this day forward, 233 00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:41,575 Earth will treat chickens with respect. 234 00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:45,457 Thanks, Commissioner. Looks like we got our justice. 235 00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:47,212 No, this goes higher. 236 00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:49,212 Chickens from every planet must be saved. 237 00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:51,582 The horrors I saw in Blood Barn. 238 00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:55,247 We'll have to take it all the way to the top. 239 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:56,793 The Intergalactic FDA? 240 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,665 Yes. 241 00:08:58,750 --> 00:08:59,960 We'll take my shuttle. 242 00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,212 ♪♪ 243 00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:05,582 All in favor of humans as the galaxy's next major food source? 244 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,575 Don't you think the major food source has a say? 245 00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,037 Don't shoot! 246 00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,165 Ha! 247 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:11,830 Aah! Commish! 248 00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:14,247 [ Gunshots ] 249 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,793 Oh! 250 00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:18,285 [ Gunshots ] Aye! 251 00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,535 [ Gunshot ] Oh! 252 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,495 [ Gunshots, screaming ] 253 00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:25,753 The Commissioner and the Intergalactic FDA are dead. 254 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,633 Who will lead them now? 255 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:29,628 I will, and as long as I'm in charge, 256 00:09:29,708 --> 00:09:32,458 chickens of all planets will never be abused, 257 00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:34,132 maimed, or eaten again. 258 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,128 Now help me get these bodies into a dumpster. 259 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,998 Hey, French, where you going? 260 00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,383 These things are heavy. 261 00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:44,168 There's still one loose thread in this yarn ball. 262 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:50,583 [ Door slams open, chickens clucking ] 263 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,747 [ Buzzer ] 264 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:55,083 This just in -- The surgery worked! 265 00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,127 My daughter is going to be fine! 266 00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,998 Just what do you think you're doing? 267 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,333 ♪♪ 268 00:10:02,417 --> 00:10:05,577 [ Deep voice ] Do it! Fucking do it! 269 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,327 Be a man. 270 00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,537 I'm not a man. 271 00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,375 I'm not like you. 272 00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:16,165 I'm a chicken. [ Chickens clucking ] 273 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:20,080 Ca-ca craw, ca-ca craw! 274 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,627 Now that I run the Intergalactic FDA, 275 00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,418 I can finally flood the galactic market with my sauce. 276 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,210 It's dirt cheap, and I've had 100 crates of it 277 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:30,712 in my basement for 50 years. 278 00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:34,882 This filthy sauce is going to make this jet filthy rich. 279 00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:35,498 [ Cellphone rings ] 280 00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:37,543 I did it, Jet Junior. 281 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,915 I figured out the answer. 282 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,250 You mean, why are things the way they are? 283 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,713 That's right. 284 00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:43,042 Well? 285 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,665 They aren't. 286 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,830 They aren't?! 287 00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:51,288 [ Glass shatters ] 288 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:52,785 They aren't. 289 00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:58,712 ♪♪