1 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:06,839 >> All right, everybody, 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,610 settle down. 3 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,378 We've got a lot to discuss. 4 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,577 As you guys all know, 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,108 WorldStarHipHop is the global 6 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,783 leader in videos where women and 7 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:14,821 men get viciously punched 8 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:15,545 in the face. 9 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:16,879 >> And as you also know, 10 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,624 no amount of ass-whooping videos 11 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,619 is enough. 12 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,290 What y'all got today? 13 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:22,359 >> I found this video where one 14 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,256 white teenage girl hits another 15 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,358 white teenage girl in the head 16 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,059 with a shovel. 17 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:26,960 >> That is excellent. 18 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,000 What do we title it, though? 19 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,025 >> (chuckles) I got it. 20 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,029 How about we call it, 21 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,700 "Damn, that white girl got hit 22 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,300 in the head with a shovel. 23 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:35,442 Watch this." 24 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:36,566 (laughter) 25 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,110 >> Beautiful, that is beautiful. 26 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:38,766 What's next? 27 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:39,442 What do we got next? 28 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,440 >> Oh, my brother videotaped his 29 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,312 best friend getting attacked 30 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,380 by a pit bull. 31 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,477 >> What happened? 32 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,408 >> Well, the dog bit 33 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:46,283 his face off. 34 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,150 (laughter) 35 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,078 >> Oh, that's great, 36 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:48,752 that's real great. 37 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,149 >> How about we post a video of 38 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,821 a baby eating ice cream for the 39 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,219 first time and he's all like, 40 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:55,191 "Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmmm!" 41 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,729 It's really funny. 42 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,255 >> Hey, Brian, could you just 43 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,230 shut the (bleep) up? 44 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,100 >> Absolutely. 45 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,197 I'm just happy to be here, 46 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,568 y'all. 47 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,166 >> We could start selling 48 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:07,838 T-shirts. 49 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,095 >> Our audience of juvenile 50 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,303 delinquents love T-shirts. 51 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,114 >> This one says "I got my ass 52 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:12,966 whipped on WorldStar." 53 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,483 (laughter) 54 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,535 People would wear 'em. 55 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,613 >> Or this one. 56 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,580 "Can you find my teeth? 57 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,908 They got beaten out of my head 58 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,382 on WorldStar." 59 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,051 >> I gotta get that one for my 60 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:21,948 cousin, hold on, hold on. 61 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:22,949 >> Yeah, yeah, you got cash? 62 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:23,980 Yeah, there you go, hey. 63 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:24,894 >> Hey, how about we post a 64 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,015 video of a Marine coming home 65 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,389 for the first time in 15 years? 66 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,364 >> Can you get the dog that eats 67 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,560 faces to eat Brian's face? 68 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,462 (laughter) 69 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,703 >> I'll call my brother, man, 70 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:37,567 absolutely. 71 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:38,565 >> Brian, WorldStarHipHop 72 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,426 doesn't get more traffic 73 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,573 than "The Wall Street Journal" 74 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,768 by posting (bleep). 75 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,239 >> Yo, let me throw Brian down 76 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,737 the stairs. 77 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,408 >> I got an idea. 78 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,777 >> You rolling? 79 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:48,705 >> Yeah. 80 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,839 (laughing) 81 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,653 >> No, no, no! 82 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:58,288 >> WorldStar! 83 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,546 Yeah! 84 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,693 ** 85 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:23,212 ** 86 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,481 (dog howling in the distance) 87 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,519 >> There's nothing. 88 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,118 I couldn't find any food. 89 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,719 >> Look, I can tell I'm dying. 90 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,262 I'm near the end. 91 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,127 When I die, 92 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,255 I want you two 93 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,861 to eat me. 94 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,033 >> Don't say that, 95 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:44,971 we'll find more food. 96 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:45,825 >> No, he's right. 97 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:46,833 I mean, I'll check the Costco 98 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,174 again, we're gonna be all right. 99 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,538 >> I'm okay with this. 100 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,207 I want you to eat my corpse 101 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:52,005 to survive. 102 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,665 >> Okay, we don't want to 103 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,313 eat you, Steve, okay? 104 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,908 I'm sorry. 105 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:56,579 You're just very-- 106 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,307 You're gross. 107 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,412 >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 108 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,013 I'm gross? 109 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,284 >> You eat gross things. 110 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,694 >> Last time I checked, this was 111 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,885 the apocalypse, okay? 112 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,687 Everybody's eating rats. 113 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,259 You eat rats, I eat rats, 114 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,588 we have to eat rats to survive! 115 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,132 >> You ate a rat the day after 116 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:13,926 the apocalypse. 117 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:14,657 I mean, there was bundles 118 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,532 of bananas and you ate a rat. 119 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,170 >> You agree with her, Jesse? 120 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,366 >> I mean, you have been eating 121 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,338 a ton of rats. 122 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,665 >> Seriously, who gains weight 123 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,940 after the apocalypse? 124 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,167 >> Yeah, and I didn't want to 125 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,472 bring this up before, but I do 126 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,644 remember one time, I went to our 127 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,311 apartment and you were eating a 128 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,610 rat and that was in 2008, 129 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,582 way before any of this happened. 130 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,821 You know, I mean, we-- 131 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,286 We still had yogurts. 132 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,045 >> I'm realizing there were no 133 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,521 rats in our neighborhood because 134 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,420 you were eating them all 135 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,661 and then hiding the bones. 136 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,686 You're eating a rat right now. 137 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,693 >> Oh, gee-- 138 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:47,904 Steve, stop it! 139 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,395 We still have jerky, man. 140 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,297 (coughs) 141 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,398 >> Oh, I think that's a bad rat. 142 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,270 (coughing) 143 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,367 >> What-- 144 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,768 >> This might be it, y'all. 145 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,439 >> Whoa, whoa-- 146 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,337 Steve, Steve! 147 00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:58,968 >> I think this is the one 148 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,472 that's gonna take me out. 149 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,584 >> Steve, come on, no, Steve! 150 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,975 >> Listen to me. 151 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,346 I don't want to die in vain. 152 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:05,976 (wheezing) 153 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,619 I just ask that y'all eat me, 154 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:08,975 okay? 155 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,052 >> Okay, Steve, yes, we will-- 156 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,150 we will eat you. 157 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,921 (wheezing) 158 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,590 >> Steve... 159 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,857 >> Steve! 160 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,474 >> So we're not really gonna 161 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,312 eat him though, right? 162 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,706 >> No, we'll burn his body-- 163 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,477 >> I knew you were lying! 164 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:40,607 ** 165 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,754 >> Oh, my God! 166 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:42,849 Miss! 167 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:43,520 Miss, how'd you get 168 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,247 on the ground? 169 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:44,921 Do you need help? 170 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:45,748 Let me help you up! 171 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,963 Come here! 172 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,955 >> Gun it, Betsy! 173 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,087 >> Gun what? 174 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,331 Who's Betsy? 175 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:56,426 (cackling) 176 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,430 >> Yeah! 177 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,871 >> If we leave now, 178 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,896 we'll make the early bird. 179 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,701 (laughing) 180 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,043 >> * Old killers! 181 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,779 ** 182 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:10,837 (keys jingling) 183 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:11,954 >> Hey, uh, 184 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,505 welcome to Springfield. 185 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,524 >> Hey. 186 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,745 You all right? 187 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:21,594 >> It's just that you're 188 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,289 so cool, man. 189 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,261 >> Huh? 190 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:25,988 >> Look at those shoes. 191 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,733 Those shoes are so cool. 192 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,259 Those are awesome. 193 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,533 >> Wait. 194 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:37,174 Am I the only black guy in town? 195 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,040 >> Yeah. 196 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,008 Yeah, actually come to think 197 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,036 of it, you are, yeah. 198 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,341 >> (sighing, chuckling) 199 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,182 I am a god! 200 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,607 ** 201 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,083 (cheering) 202 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,920 >> Oh, my God! 203 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,417 >> Woohoo! 204 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,149 >> Yeah, man! 205 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,559 >> * I'm rapping and you know 206 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,388 * I drop rhymes like an Eskimo 207 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,303 (laughter) 208 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,055 I love this town. 209 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,634 Right now, everyone's dressed 210 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,233 exactly like where I'm from. 211 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,804 You know, the streets. 212 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,043 >> Look at that. 213 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,036 So fast. 214 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:17,984 >> (grunts) 215 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,408 Yo, what is your problem, man? 216 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,583 >> I was just saying hey. 217 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,821 Just-- Just saying hey. 218 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:22,575 >> Man. 219 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,253 I'm Dennis. 220 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:23,920 How you doing? 221 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:24,587 >> Dennis? 222 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,345 You visiting, you just passing 223 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,222 through or...? 224 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,119 How soon you leaving? 225 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,290 >> I just moved here. 226 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,258 Signed a four-year lease 227 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:29,886 and everything. 228 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,690 >> Hey, whoa! 229 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,091 Wow, man, you didn't tell me 230 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:32,832 you were bringing a buddy. 231 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:33,786 How you doing? 232 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,764 >> I'm good, man. 233 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,502 What? 234 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,596 >> Wow! 235 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,697 Now, those are the coolest shoes 236 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:39,769 I've ever seen! 237 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:40,397 Wow! 238 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,230 I'm gonna tell everyone up here. 239 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,204 >> Thanks, dog, appreciate you-- 240 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,072 Yo, why you keep pushing me 241 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,000 in the wall, man? 242 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:44,714 >> Listen, all right, please, 243 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,565 you gotta get out of here. 244 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,273 I don't know if you know this, 245 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,113 but I have a real good thing 246 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,007 going here, okay? 247 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:48,978 >> What are you talking-- 248 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:49,636 >> Oh, we're ordering more 249 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,543 potato skins. 250 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,884 Oh, I'm Tina. 251 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,649 >> How you doing? 252 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,746 I'I'm Dennis. 253 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,347 I like potato skins. 254 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,578 A lot. 255 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,794 >> Just kidding about earlier, 256 00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:58,545 man, you know? 257 00:06:58,552 --> 00:06:59,952 I was-- I was just kidding. 258 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,134 >> Oh, my God! 259 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,156 >> Whoa! 260 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:11,904 Woo! 261 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,140 (murmuring) 262 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,349 (sighing) 263 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,475 (sobbing) 264 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,282 >> Hey, what's up, buddy? 265 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,153 >> Hey. 266 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:31,951 >> Are you moving into 267 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,122 this building? 268 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,350 >> Yeah. 269 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,824 Why? 270 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:36,893 >> Oh, no, I'm sorry, I-- 271 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,360 I never lived this close 272 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,788 to a black person before. 273 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,833 ** 274 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,570 >> I'm back. 275 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,637 >> What balloon animal 276 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:48,695 you want me to make for him? 277 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,042 >> Uh, perhaps a dog? 278 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,267 >> Hold on. 279 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,606 (laughing) 280 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,811 Woof, woof! 281 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:08,087 ** 282 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,658 >> Hey, Rel. 283 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:13,760 Sit down, we have to have 284 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,301 a talk. 285 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,965 >> Rel, it's become clear to us 286 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,427 you have a problem. 287 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,904 (snorting) 288 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,812 You take way too many selfies. 289 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:29,739 >> What, y'all crazy? 290 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,383 Look, my selfies are dope, look. 291 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,878 >> What is this pose, man? 292 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,950 Hashtag 293 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,718 >> You aren't. 294 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,076 >> Hashtag 295 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:37,954 ASexSymbol. 296 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:38,921 >> You won't be. 297 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,519 >> Rel... 298 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,120 you have a serious problem, man. 299 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,293 >> Look, I don't even take 300 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,331 that many selfies. 301 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,025 >> Jesus, how did you do that 302 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,157 just now? 303 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,532 >> That's enough, man. 304 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,470 Rel, I'm your friend and 305 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,065 top-notch observational comedian 306 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,997 Hannibal Buress. 307 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,173 You're out of control. 308 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,070 If you don't stop taking these 309 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,611 selfies, I'll walk out of your 310 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,407 life forever. 311 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,008 (whispers) Don't do it. 312 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,550 Don't. 313 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,775 (shutter clicking) 314 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:10,450 ** 315 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,025 >> Think about your son, Rel. 316 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:20,687 >> Don't you dare 317 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,664 bring my son in this. 318 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,562 >> Rel, you've left us 319 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,462 with no choice. 320 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:25,904 >> Read the hashtags, Rel. 321 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,169 >> I-- I don't want to. 322 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:27,897 >> Read the (bleep) 323 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,341 hashtags, Rel! 324 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,043 >> Hashtag 325 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,652 326 00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:40,105 Hashtag 327 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,483 >> Come on. 328 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,821 >> Hashtag 329 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,887 Alone... JustLikeMyDaddy. 330 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,018 Just like my daddy? 331 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,133 Help me, please! 332 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:52,985 Help... 333 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:53,933 >> You need to destroy the 334 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:54,857 camera on your phone. 335 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:55,902 >> But if I do, who gonna 336 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,296 take pictures of me, huh? 337 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,528 >> I will. 338 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,604 >> I will. 339 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,113 >> I will. 340 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,036 >> I won't. 341 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,080 You lost your chance with me 342 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,105 when I walked out backwards. 343 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,339 That moment was too awesome 344 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,513 to have done for nothing. 345 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,611 I don't waste moments. 346 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,312 Watch what the door does. 347 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,420 >> I cannot believe we are 348 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,361 waiting in line to take a 349 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,655 picture with Santa right now. 350 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:24,827 >> What? It's gonna be fun. 351 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,325 Adults love Santa. 352 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,356 >> It's mostly kids. 353 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,530 >> And an adult. 354 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,798 I'll go first. 355 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:31,898 >> Ho, ho, ho! 356 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,699 Have you been good this year? 357 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:34,571 >> Yes, Santa, I've been 358 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,797 a very good girl. 359 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,273 Unlike my best friend Becca 360 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,310 over there. 361 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,365 She doesn't like-- 362 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,372 (gagging) 363 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,214 No! 364 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,179 (muffled screaming) 365 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,677 >> Merry Christmas. 366 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,620 >> * Old killers! 367 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,917 >> All righty. 368 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,149 Dara, Shelby and Kelsey are up 369 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,664 next with their presentation. 370 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,155 I ask that you give them your 371 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,927 undivided attention and respect. 372 00:10:58,926 --> 00:10:59,956 Take the floor, ladies. 373 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,000 >> Um, for our human biology 374 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,295 project, it was on sex 375 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,656 and sexuality. 376 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,374 So we made a video about the 377 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,596 importance of sexual education. 378 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,441 >> What... 379 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,807 do you... 380 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,236 know about sex, nerd? 381 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,312 (class laughing) 382 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,379 >> Hey, hey! 383 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,507 Okay, these are three of my 384 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,611 best students. 385 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,852 I can guarantee you this is 386 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,248 gonna be a clever, great 387 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,079 presentation, so have some 388 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:28,064 respect and enjoy. 389 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:32,085 ** 390 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,798 >> Hey, West Orange. 391 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,927 Sex ed class is mad important. 392 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,572 So pay attention. 393 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,197 You might learn something. 394 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,143 >> * Now listen up, y'all 395 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,838 * You gotta keep it real 396 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,910 * Just listen to your partner 397 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,239 * And tell them how you feel 398 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,914 >> * Always use a condom 399 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,953 * Unless you're standing up 400 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,648 * Never let your butts touch 401 00:11:56,649 --> 00:12:00,419 * Or else they both blow up 402 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,660 >> What the? 403 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,585 >> * Sex ed, sex ed 404 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,431 * Get this through your head 405 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,056 * Wanna play it safe? 406 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,831 * Just remember what we said 407 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:10,600 >> Sex ed. 408 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,967 >> * Get yourself tested 409 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,995 * For every STD 410 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,241 * Like butt rot and weird vag 411 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,906 * And mutant wang disease 412 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,665 >> What if I ran out of condoms, 413 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,142 Kelsey, because I have 414 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,441 so much sex? 415 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,552 >> (chuckling) 416 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,705 >> * Just wrap it in a towel 417 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,354 * Or a plastic bag 418 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,479 * If you can't find either 419 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,394 * A filthy oily rag 420 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,286 * Name some good places 421 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,188 * To learn about sex 422 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,460 >> * Oh, Instagram 423 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,688 >> * My cousin Merle 424 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:40,432 >> * Gum wrappers 425 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,157 >> * Jail 426 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:41,861 >> No! 427 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,832 Do not do that! 428 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:44,561 (groans) 429 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,874 (glass shatters) 430 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,168 I quit. 431 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,071 >> Excuse me, would you take 432 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:52,972 a selfie with me? 433 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:53,743 >> No. 434 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:54,570 >> * Walking 435 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,314 * Rocking to my music 436 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,849 * Sunglasses 437 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,445 Excuse me, real quick. 438 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,106 Oh, I'm in a big rush, 439 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:01,924 real quick. 440 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:02,645 Hey, guy. 441 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,849 Would you take a selfie with me? 442 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:04,921 Would you take a selfie 443 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:05,788 with me? 444 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,815 >> Sure. 445 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:08,691 >> Selfie! 446 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:09,758 (shutter clicks) 447 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,325 >> Really? 448 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,029 Yes! 449 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,530 You think red onions-- red-- 450 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,772 are better than yellow onions? 451 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:21,967 >> Red onions are better. 452 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,369 >> Chicago has the best 453 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,500 pizza, Jan. 454 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,044 >> New York pizza has flavor. 455 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,109 >> Hey, "Home Alone 2" is 456 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,337 better than "Home Alone 1". 457 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,881 Look, it's the same premise, 458 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,807 and sequels are always worse. 459 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,311 >> Not always, "Godfather II." 460 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,453 "Dark Knight." 461 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,617 >> Red onions are way better 462 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,715 than yellow onions, man. 463 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,716 >> Explain to me how. 464 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:39,618 >> Lox! 465 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,589 >> I don't eat lox! 466 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,917 >> Ceviche. 467 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:42,892 >> New York pizza's better 468 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,120 than Chicago pizza. 469 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,434 >> It is not good! 470 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,285 >> It's very good! 471 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,293 >> I hate it, Jan. 472 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,904 >> Well, then, don't eat it. 473 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:49,696 >> I won't! 474 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,465 >> Oh! 475 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,896 >> Right in your head, dude. 476 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:55,542 It's so exciting. 477 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,195 >> Oh, this is so exciting! 478 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:56,843 >> I can't even believe 479 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,496 this is happening. 480 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,244 >> So exciting, yeah. 481 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,238 >> I can't even breathe. 482 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,269 I can't breathe out of this hole 483 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,213 in the mask, it's too small. 484 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,578 >> Gotta make a hole, dude. 485 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,235 >> Hey, uh, excuse me. 486 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,514 Is this the line for "Star Wars: 487 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,382 Episode VII"? 488 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,779 >> Uh, yeah. 489 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,580 >> This guy's the coolest, man. 490 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,382 Dude, I'm so pumped J.J. Abrams 491 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,154 is directing this. 492 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:12,922 >> Dude, I heard in the first 493 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,220 ten seconds, Jar Jar Binks 494 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,791 gets his face sliced off! 495 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:16,918 >> No! 496 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,194 Oh, man, this is gonna be 497 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,361 so great! 498 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,560 Just two more days left in line. 499 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,033 >> Is that the line for that 500 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,244 Star Trek smoothie? 501 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,835 >> Ugh, yes. 502 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,466 >> Nerds will line up 503 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,400 for anything. 504 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,274 >> I know. 505 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,043 I'm so excited for these 506 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:35,782 cronuts. 507 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,605 >> I know. 508 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,709 I'm just so glad that Chef 509 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,050 Dominique Ansel only makes 50 510 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,606 each day so that only the real 511 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,083 cronut fans get 'em, you know? 512 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:42,722 >> Yeah. You know, 513 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,645 I read in US Weekly 514 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,390 that Leah Remini got the recipe 515 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,115 for, like, $700,000. 516 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,020 >> Yeah, but then she didn't 517 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:48,791 even have the right oven! 518 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:49,658 >> The right oven! 519 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,416 And I was like, well, how you 520 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,363 gonna cook the cronut? 521 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,388 >> You can have all the ovens, 522 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,062 Leah. 523 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,300 You're rich. 524 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,195 >> Only four more hours 525 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:56,856 'til cronuts. 526 00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:57,833 >> That's not very long. 527 00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:58,870 >> Let's take a selfie. 528 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,625 >> Okay. 529 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,073 >> Standing in line for a movie 530 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,069 and some donuts? 531 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:03,970 >> Yep. 532 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:04,741 >> Nerds. 533 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,567 >> For real, yo. 534 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,983 >> Let's go spend $700 on some 535 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:08,905 basketball sneakers. 536 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,538 >> I dig it, man. 537 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,342 I'm gonna spend a thousand, 538 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,143 dude. 539 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,054 >> Get the red ones, yo. 540 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:12,975 Get the red ones. 541 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:13,710 Nah, get the blue ones, 542 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:14,383 get the blue ones. 543 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,681 They ain't open it yet? 544 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:16,582 Damn, yo. 545 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,953 (clamoring) 546 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:20,953 (bleep) 547 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,124 >> Hey, man, is this the line 548 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,192 to buy Jordans? 549 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:23,820 >> No, this is the line 550 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,263 to steal Jordans. 551 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,458 >> Okay, well, in that case, 552 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,129 can I give you money, 553 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,257 you can just steal me some? 554 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,161 >> Wait right there. 555 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,172 >> Okay. 556 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,365 >> What? 557 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,996 Nerd! 558 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:35,772 Here you go. 559 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,438 >> Sweet, thank you. 560 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,096 How much would that be? 561 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,769 >> Oh! 562 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,343 >> Not funny at all, man. 563 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,842 >> No, we can't put that out, 564 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:44,743 man, that's messed up. 565 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:45,814 >> Look, man, y'all just being 566 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:46,752 too sensitive, okay? 567 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,376 This video is hysterical. 568 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,421 >> That could be the funniest 569 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,617 (bleep) video I have seen 570 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,818 in my entire life. 571 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,249 >> Yo, a dude kicking a baby 572 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,294 is not funny. 573 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,558 >> Actually, he punted the baby. 574 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:57,516 >> Punting does not make 575 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,164 a difference. 576 00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:58,928 >> You see how high the baby 577 00:15:58,925 --> 00:15:59,685 went, though? 578 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,062 >> This is classic WorldStar, 579 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:01,731 guys. 580 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:02,398 >> No. 581 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,025 This video crosses the line, 582 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,001 man. 583 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,128 You know, like, what-- 584 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,003 What's this website become? 585 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:08,741 >> You know, I'm being honest. 586 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,835 I'm on-- I'm on the fence 587 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:10,836 with this one. 588 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,637 >> At the end of the day, 589 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,968 everybody, this is what we do, 590 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:13,612 okay? 591 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,036 This is our art. 592 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,542 >> I mean, some people paint 593 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,683 and some people create 594 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,107 beautiful music. 595 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,512 >> We post (bleep) up videos. 596 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,653 >> But think about that baby, 597 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,848 man, think about the injuries 598 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,119 that baby sustained, okay? 599 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,587 We put this video on WorldStar, 600 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:26,245 they're gonna call him 601 00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,253 "Football Baby" for the rest of 602 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:27,994 his life, man. 603 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:28,757 You want that? 604 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,315 >> You might have a point there. 605 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,623 But, yo, let me see it again. 606 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,231 >> Oh, my baby, my baby! 607 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,130 >> Nah, that's hysterical! 608 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,872 That is hysterical. 609 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:41,827 Yeah, I'm over here. 610 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,244 I'm over here, this is 611 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,536 WorldStar, woo! 612 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,637 >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. 613 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,079 It's five versus five now, yo. 614 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,376 >> So what we gonna do 615 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,307 about this, man? 616 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,252 >> We gonna post this video. 617 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,177 >> Can't let you do that, Frank. 618 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:56,923 >> (sighs) 619 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,646 I make the decision. 620 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,952 >> Oh, my God, 621 00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,823 it's Jaleel White. 622 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:03,562 >> You don't even work at 623 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,216 WorldStarHipHop. 624 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,634 >> No, I don't. 625 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:06,825 But I did kick that baby. 626 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:07,756 >> (gasps) 627 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,530 >> I kicked that baby like a 628 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,758 football so you would all post 629 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,102 the video to WorldStar. 630 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,298 >> Yes! 631 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,129 (laughter) 632 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,074 >> No. 633 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,468 I want that video to destroy 634 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,409 the Internet and WorldStar. 635 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,905 Post it, Frank. 636 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,378 >> My baby, my baby! 637 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,980 Oh! 638 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,722 >> You just got Jaleel'd. 639 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,558 >> So then they said 640 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,516 I might have corns. 641 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,464 I've never had corns before. 642 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,459 >> You should go see my friend 643 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,490 Peter the podiatrist. 644 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,334 >> Who? 645 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,259 >> He said she should go see 646 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,403 Peter the podiatrist. 647 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,027 >> Psychiatrist? 648 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:45,731 What's wrong with you, Gene? 649 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,202 >> No, a podiatrist, 650 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,270 it's a foot doctor. 651 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,038 >> Foot doctor. 652 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,335 >> Foot doctor? Say what? 653 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,337 >> What the hell are y'all 654 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,138 talking about? 655 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:56,109 ** 656 00:17:56,109 --> 00:18:00,679 (cackling) 657 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,480 >> Gentlemen, 658 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,281 it's crossbow time! 659 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,115 >> * Old killers! 660 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:17,756 >> Would you guys mind showing 661 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,034 me dances and stuff like that? 662 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,381 >> You did good. 663 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,576 >> Did good, man. 664 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,515 >> Whoa, McFly! (chuckling) 665 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,915 Anyone home, McFly? 666 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:37,976 Look, do me a favor. 667 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,454 Tell your mom I said hi, 668 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,222 butthead! 669 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,690 (chuckling) 670 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,118 >> Thanks, Biff. 671 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,093 (whooshing) 672 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:51,897 >> Marty! 673 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,298 >> Doc, what's going on? 674 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,130 >> It's complete, Marty. 675 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,543 The DeLorean is a time machine. 676 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:56,735 >> You made a time machine 677 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,666 out of a DeLorean ? 678 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,340 >> We have to go back 679 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,168 to the past. 680 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,372 >> Why, Doc? 681 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,073 >> I was in 1955 and... 682 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,514 Well, I banged your mom. 683 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:05,411 >> Doc! 684 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,652 How could you do that? 685 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,346 >> There's no time to explain, 686 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,047 Marty! 687 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:08,817 We gotta get in that car, but 688 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,015 once we hit 88 miles per hour, 689 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,076 we can get back to the past, 690 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,083 unsex your mom 691 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,054 and save your family! 692 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,293 >> All right, I guess we should, 693 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,158 but I mean, Doc, 694 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,185 I mean, that's... 695 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,333 Are you sure this is 696 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,198 gonna work, Doc? 697 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,295 >> Don't worry, Marty. 698 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,096 Once we hit 88, you're gonna 699 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,497 see some serious sh-- 700 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:31,867 Great Scott! 701 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:32,971 >> Oh, my God! 702 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,412 Were you speeding? 703 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,007 >> Of course we were 704 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:35,877 (bleep) speeding. 705 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:36,705 >> What do you mean "we"? 706 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:37,409 You're the driver, 707 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,210 I'm the passenger. 708 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,281 >> Shut up, Marty, shut up! 709 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,279 We'll just go back a few seconds 710 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,550 and we'll save him! 711 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,890 >> Damn it, Doc! 712 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,918 Why didn't you just set it for, 713 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,162 like, three minutes ago? 714 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,227 >> I was just trying to be 715 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,255 precise, Marty. 716 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,190 >> Uh, Doc? 717 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,634 >> Great Scott! 718 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,029 Marty, your mother must be 719 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:58,830 pregnant with my child, 720 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,831 so you were never born! 721 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,044 >> (bleep) you, Doc! 722 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,880 >> All right, so throughout the 723 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,208 season, Kevin has raced two 724 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,912 times and lost incredibly. 725 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:18,854 >> That should have been 726 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,051 discounted, man. 727 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,323 >> No win. 728 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,294 0 for two. 729 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:25,962 >> They're gonna do one more 730 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,158 race since we know he's slower 731 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,129 than so many people, we're just 732 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,157 gonna find out if he's at least 733 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,731 the fastest in the cast. 734 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,030 We're gonna race them and give 735 00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,001 them a real chance. 736 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,399 >> I don't want to do this. 737 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,201 >> Okay, so I'm gonna say, uh, 738 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,442 "on your mark get set, go." 739 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,237 On "go" we run, okay? 740 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:38,907 >> Just say it! 741 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,065 >> All right. 742 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,442 On your mark, get set, go! 743 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,854 >> What? 744 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,245 Really? 745 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:47,906 Come on, man! 746 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,724 I need this! 747 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,216 I need this, man. 748 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,317 (laughing) 749 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,590 >> Kevin won!