1 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,038 >> Welcome back. 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,609 Our couple, Denise and Swanson, 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,177 have already seen two incredible 4 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,236 homes. 5 00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,143 Their first option was a 6 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,414 spacious two-bed with a short 7 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,882 commute to the city followed by 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,550 this Spanish Colonial home with 9 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,648 curb appeal. 10 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,019 Now their final option, 11 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,987 a converted pre-war evil lair, 12 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,216 just steps from historic 13 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,621 Arkham Asylum. 14 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,122 ** 15 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,456 >> Yeah, well, it's certainly 16 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,703 more in our price range. 17 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:31,828 >> I'm just a little worried 18 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:32,732 about the destruction in the 19 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:33,603 neighborhood. 20 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:34,401 >> Okay, well, I tell you what. 21 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,772 If you move here, the one thing 22 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,209 that won't be destroyed 23 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:37,965 is your bank account. 24 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:38,871 >> Oh. 25 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,312 >> Hello, savings. 26 00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,578 Also, there is a super 27 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,835 on the property. 28 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:44,954 >> Is that Robin? 29 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:45,845 >> It sure is. 30 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:46,876 >> Oh, I love him. 31 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,820 >> Suck it. 32 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:48,845 >> Little less friendly now. 33 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,279 And this is the recently 34 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,754 remodeled eat-in kitchen. 35 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:52,652 >> Oh, yum. 36 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,853 Oh. Whoa. 37 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,764 >> Is that the bat signal? 38 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,885 >> Yeah, no, it is. 39 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,159 You know, not everybody gets a 40 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,658 dream view of the bat signal. 41 00:00:58,659 --> 00:00:59,359 >> Mm-hmm. 42 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,160 >> I see. 43 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:00,931 >> Who needs monorail track 44 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:01,558 lighting? 45 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,262 (chuckling) 46 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,163 Not this place. 47 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,804 >> Whoo, uh, well, at least 48 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,468 there's a lot of storage space. 49 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,073 >> Whoa. 50 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,011 Looks like there's some 51 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,835 scarecrow booby traps here. 52 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:15,812 (voice distorted) Plus side is 53 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,249 you get to keep the mask. 54 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,746 (screeching) 55 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,947 I do recommend getting the 56 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,778 Batman-level insurance. 57 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:23,523 It really protects against 58 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,087 explosions, lasers, time bombs, 59 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,085 laughing gas, freezing guns, 60 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,186 cars, planes or trains that come 61 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,288 on through the living room, 62 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,319 sentient plants, men made of 63 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,423 clay... 64 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:36,956 >> Get the insurance. 65 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,167 >> We'll take it. 66 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:44,309 >> All right! 67 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,235 >> Ow. 68 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,210 You'll have to get the clown. 69 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,708 I got a... bad back. 70 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,656 >> * 'Cause I'm saved 71 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,233 * By the bell 72 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,233 >> Zack, we have to go finish 73 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,504 our science project. 74 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:15,702 >> Relax, Screech. 75 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:16,843 Right now I'm working on the 76 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,037 science of this cheeseburger. 77 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,939 (laughter) 78 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:21,881 >> That's the only subject he'll 79 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,475 be getting an A-plus in. 80 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,377 (laughter) 81 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,149 >> Hey, Screech, think fast. 82 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:27,947 >> Aah! 83 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:28,748 >> Nice catch. 84 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,652 >> A.C. Slater needs to chill 85 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,923 the (bleep) out. 86 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,891 ** 87 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:48,641 >> Screech need to quit acting 88 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:49,336 like he's not black, man. 89 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,037 We got the same haircut. 90 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:51,908 >> You both got naturals. 91 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:52,535 >> Yeah. 92 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,640 >> Oh, look at Lisa over there, 93 00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:54,311 right? 94 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,208 I'm the star tailback on the 95 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,039 football team and she still 96 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:56,913 don't see me. 97 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,410 Lisa! Lisa! 98 00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,282 >> She can't hear you, man. 99 00:02:59,280 --> 00:02:59,980 She can't hear you. 100 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:00,810 >> You know she can't hear you. 101 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:01,554 Once you start talking to white 102 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,319 people, you can't hear black 103 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:02,976 people no more. 104 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:03,753 >> That's true, man, good point. 105 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:04,451 >> It's like a vortex. 106 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,122 >> Come on, man, that ain't 107 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,018 true-- Lisa! 108 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,189 Lisa Turtle! 109 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,157 >> Go over there, Richie. 110 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,515 Tell it like it is, Richie. 111 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,193 >> Get 'em, Richie. 112 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,190 >> Black Bayside is about to 113 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,361 take this mother-- 114 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,558 ** 115 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,271 >> How'd you like dinner? 116 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:26,270 (indistinct chatter) 117 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,344 >> Oh, this is a really nice-- 118 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,481 This is a really nice place. 119 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,880 >> Come on up here. 120 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:38,352 >> Okey-dokey. 121 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,122 This is incredible. 122 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,891 Wow. 123 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,231 >> Man, this dude has no 124 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,425 technique. 125 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,502 >> I... 126 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:51,568 I don't know how to say this, 127 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,565 but that... 128 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,997 That was my virginity. 129 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,113 >> Oh, uh, wow. 130 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,235 Why didn't you say 131 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,309 something or... 132 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,209 >> Well, I'm 26, so I-- 133 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,310 I didn't wanna make it weird, 134 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:07,322 you know, but... 135 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,845 I'm glad it was you. 136 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,090 Oh, man, I am... 137 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,332 I'm just a little overwhelmed. 138 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:21,598 Do you mind if I go to the 139 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,195 bathroom, do people do that? 140 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,226 >> Sure. 141 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,571 >> Okay, well... 142 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,897 See you in a second. 143 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,412 >> (yawning) 144 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,565 >> Actually, um... I just wanted 145 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:38,054 to ask you... how was it? 146 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:40,975 >> It was fine. 147 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,381 >> Okay. 148 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,383 I'll take that. 149 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,554 (chuckling) 150 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:45,422 I was worried I'd be the worst 151 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:46,449 of all time. 152 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,994 (chuckling) Anyway... 153 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,797 (water running) 154 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:00,800 >> (shrieking) 155 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,471 >> Shh, hey, oh, you-- 156 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,939 Calm down! 157 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:04,637 Come here, I ain't gonna hurt 158 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,268 you. 159 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,012 (crashing) Oh, oh! 160 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:06,766 Oh, she... 161 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:10,044 (scream fading, distant thud) 162 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,583 >> Hello, Mr. Not a Virgin 163 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:12,909 Anymore. 164 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,749 >> (muttering) 165 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,421 >> (breathes and sniffs) 166 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,923 Howdy! 167 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,264 (siren approaching) 168 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,771 (siren blaring) 169 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,866 >> Okay, so after you lost your 170 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,837 virginity, what's the last 171 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,795 thing you said to her? 172 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,744 >> I asked how the sex was. 173 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,039 >> Okay, and what'd she say? 174 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,080 >> Uh, she said it was fine. 175 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,247 >> Sir, can you shed some light 176 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,905 on this letter we discovered? 177 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,684 >> Uh, sure, wh-what letter? 178 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,923 >> "Dear World, good-bye. 179 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,189 I'm gonna jump out this window 180 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,486 because I had such horrible sex 181 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,918 tonight, I can never love 182 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,393 anything ever again." 183 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,164 "I lost my faith in humanity 184 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,062 when I looked in his virgin 185 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,503 eyes. 186 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,928 Sincerely, me." 187 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:09,143 (siren blaring) 188 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,836 >> Mmm, uh, nothing to add to 189 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,139 that currently, but, you know, I 190 00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,841 just-- I-I just feel like 191 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,483 something's not right, you know? 192 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,578 It's like-- 'cause she said-- 193 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,679 she said it was fine. 194 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,710 >> Okay, you know, either she 195 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,754 killed herself because the sex 196 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,079 was so bad or you killed her and 197 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,794 made it look like a suicide. 198 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,089 >> Coming up, how this man's bad 199 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,560 sex made a woman want to die. 200 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,460 That and our Eye in the Sky, 201 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,062 Pete Greg, in the traffic copter 202 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,333 after the break. 203 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,300 ** (news theme playing) 204 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,569 >> I murdered her. 205 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,041 >> I got a witness. 206 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,239 >> Oh, how you doing? 207 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,280 Look, I saw everything. 208 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,475 I looked up, right? 209 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,307 And the lady was in the window. 210 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,051 And she just started 211 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:52,705 yelling out. 212 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:53,813 "Oh, man, I don't wanna live no 213 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,454 more because this is the worst-- 214 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,579 this is the worst sex I've ever 215 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,394 had in my life!" 216 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,685 And then she jumped. 217 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,363 >> Again, she said it was fine. 218 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,540 >> What? 219 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,209 What's straight ahead? 220 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,138 >> So I can't do this? 221 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:22,882 >> Mm-mmm. 222 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:23,506 >> But that's the move 223 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,851 I wanna make. 224 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,406 I don't wanna do this no more. 225 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,386 >> * Two business guys 226 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,218 * Too little time 227 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,864 * On their way to lunch 228 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,829 * Trying to eat 229 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,697 * Some good old food, yeah 230 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,056 >> Hi. 231 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,974 >> All right, quiet on the set. 232 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,036 Quiet on the set. 233 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,035 Action. 234 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,207 Hands. 235 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,565 There we go. 236 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,414 The cocoa butter is your friend. 237 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,038 So let those hands flow freely. 238 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,714 Let me see that. 239 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,982 All right, cut, perfect. 240 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,281 We're gonna do it again. 241 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,682 >> Um, hey, Mr. Jackson? 242 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,824 >> My man, what's up? 243 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,748 >> I'm good, I just wanted to 244 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,523 tell you that I am so happy to 245 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,561 be working on this commercial 246 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,356 for Soul King Cocoa Butter, man. 247 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,287 And thanks for taking a chance 248 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,031 on me. 249 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,055 >> And were here at Soul King 250 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,660 take special pride in how we 251 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,132 treat our brothers and sisters. 252 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:16,999 >> I just-- it's so refreshing 253 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,297 to work for a pro-black company, 254 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,068 you know? 255 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:19,896 >> Okay, well, look, check 256 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:20,900 this out, speaking of black, 257 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:21,701 why don't you go get me some 258 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,772 coffee and stop yapping so damn 259 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,500 much. 260 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,444 We're about to go. 261 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,338 Quiet on the set. 262 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,469 Quiet on the set. 263 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,044 (bell ringing) 264 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,212 Action! 265 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,610 Now caress that cocoa butter. 266 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,482 Caress it like it's a woman. 267 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,580 Cut, cut, Rick, come on out 268 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,883 here, come on out here. 269 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:37,894 Come on. 270 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,015 Makeup, come on, what are you 271 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,019 doing? 272 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:40,650 Look at his hands. 273 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,164 They're too shiny. 274 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,255 >> What the hell is this? 275 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,257 >> What's the matter? 276 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,088 >> The matter is he-- he-- 277 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,504 He's white, he's a white-- 278 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,195 This is like blackface! 279 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,027 >> It's black hands, stupid. 280 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,872 >> Yeah, it's totally different. 281 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,137 Who-- who-- who is this guy? 282 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,965 >> It's wrong and it's rude 283 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,140 and it's insensitive. 284 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,038 I'm getting to the bottom 285 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,339 of this. 286 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,910 ** (news theme) 287 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:02,979 >> It's been quite the scene 288 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,736 here today. 289 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,784 Now, ma'am, tell me, how are you 290 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,978 feeling about all this? 291 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:06,879 >> You know what, this country 292 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,850 was built on the backs of black 293 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,249 hands. 294 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,250 And white men don't even get 295 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,251 ashy, so that's bull(bleep). 296 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,793 >> This is an abomination. 297 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,858 At the end of the day, black 298 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,286 hands are more than cool 299 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,730 handshakes. 300 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:19,986 Something must be done. 301 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,493 >> Okay, now Reverend Sharpe, 302 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,064 do you foresee a boycott? 303 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,833 >> Well, not exactly, uh, uh, 304 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,672 well, you know, our beautiful 305 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,596 black skin does need cocoa 306 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,600 butter, uh, but there will be 307 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,672 a lawsuit. 308 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,540 Best believe that. 309 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:31,167 (TV clicking off) 310 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,211 >> I'm just trying to feed 311 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,335 my family. 312 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,470 >> You just don't understand 313 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,584 the struggle, man. 314 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,377 >> Oh, I understand 315 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,608 the struggle, my brother. 316 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,753 >> That's right. 317 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,148 I saw one picture and I knew 318 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,520 those were the hands 319 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,017 of a Soul King. 320 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,619 >> Look, I can't help it that my 321 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,461 white hands have black features. 322 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,457 >> Son, do you know what it's 323 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,358 called when a man qualifies for 324 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,860 a job but still doesn't get it 325 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,033 because of the color of his 326 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,200 skin? 327 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,498 That's racism. 328 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:02,269 Now, Rick here has the hands of 329 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,569 a ballplayer and the face 330 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,411 of an owner. 331 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,405 (chuckling) 332 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,106 How long have you had that afro? 333 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,438 >> All my life, I guess. 334 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,052 >> Does the fist on that afro 335 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:16,245 pick look familiar? 336 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,749 >> (laughing) 337 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,722 Get over here, dude. 338 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,390 (chuckling) 339 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,619 (both laughing) 340 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,963 I'm gonna (bleep) you up. 341 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,934 >> I'm excited today because the 342 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,399 church is taking a step toward 343 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,468 the future, um, and we're 344 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,766 getting rid of all those paper 345 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,468 Bibles and then we're upgrading 346 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,770 to 200 tablets. 347 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,313 Can I get an amen? 348 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,408 >> (all) Amen! 349 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,109 >> Yes, yes, amen. 350 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,681 Open your Bible app to the book 351 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,620 of "Leviticus." 352 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,275 Say amen once you got it. 353 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,094 Um, I guess just be a little 354 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,686 patient... 355 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:55,418 Looks like we're having a 356 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,722 problem with the "wee-fee." 357 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,994 >> Oh, pastor, 358 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,191 it's pronounced "Wi-Fi." 359 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,532 >> Excuse me? 360 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,727 >> It's pronounced "Wi-Fi." 361 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,559 >> Are you sure about that? 362 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,463 >> Yeah. 363 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,534 >> Now shut up! 364 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,172 Unfortunately, your answer is 365 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,337 incorrect. 366 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,195 It's pronounced whatever God 367 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,342 wants me to say it is. 368 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,937 ** (dramatic organ notes) 369 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,269 Look here, okay? 370 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,713 Everything is gonna be okay. 371 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,678 We're just having a little bit 372 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:20,275 of a... "wifey" problem. 373 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,520 Uh, now maybe I can find God's 374 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,575 signal over here. 375 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,893 >> Go from the heart, pastor. 376 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,285 >> Yeah, from the heart. 377 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:26,946 >> You want me to do it from 378 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:27,624 the heart? 379 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,520 >> Yeah! 380 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,191 >> Is that what y'all want? 381 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,689 >> You! You need it! 382 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,260 >> Okay, well, um... 383 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:36,429 Moses went to the Red Sea 384 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,429 with some animals, right? 385 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,031 And then God said, "Let me tell 386 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,333 you some commandments." 387 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,244 >> Pastor, that's not in the 388 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:42,995 Bible. 389 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:43,743 >> Not at all. 390 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:44,367 >> It's not in the Bible? 391 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,811 Guess what, God was testing us! 392 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:46,766 (laughing) 393 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:47,784 You got it, you was getting 394 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:48,535 tested. 395 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,041 You know your Bible, don't you? 396 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,313 Don't you know your Bible. 397 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,211 You are-- you are smart. 398 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,083 So I got another story for you. 399 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,282 Here we go, it was a story 400 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,553 of, um, David. 401 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,251 He had to fight a giant 402 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,964 by the name of, um... 403 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,087 Shrek! 404 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,292 And Shrek was fixin' to get 405 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,064 married! 406 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,661 >> I'm sorry, uh, David fought 407 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,002 Goliath, Shrek is... 408 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:11,968 >> Because at the end of the 409 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,995 day, I'm just trying to get 410 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,942 a signal from Him! 411 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,068 And this is, uh... 412 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,473 Oh, this is getting frustrating. 413 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,344 >> Pastor, you can total-- 414 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,482 you can just reset the router 415 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,236 right there. 416 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,114 >> Yeah, you can do it. 417 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,312 >> What? 418 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,413 >> Push the button. 419 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,254 >> What button? 420 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:28,978 >> On the router. 421 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,082 >> Oh, oh, so, wait a minute, 422 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:30,983 let me ask y'all something. 423 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:31,854 You think the power 424 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,652 of electricity... 425 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,023 is bigger than the power of 426 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:35,862 Jesus? 427 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:36,956 Did I hear that right? 428 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:37,757 >> No. 429 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,457 >> You know what God just 430 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,688 told me? 431 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:40,862 He said we need to bow our head 432 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,461 in prayer. 433 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,002 Oh, yeah, bow your heads. 434 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,027 You... everybody. 435 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:50,443 As we sit here in church... 436 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,307 Oh, God is good. 437 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,065 Pull those iPads out now. 438 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,344 Give me an amen if it look like 439 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,642 you got a little signal. 440 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,413 >> Ahh... 441 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,110 >> Can I get an amen? 442 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:58,951 You got a signal? 443 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,246 Y'all got a signal? 444 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,377 Oh, God is good! 445 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,281 (piano playing) 446 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,722 (all cheering) 447 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,117 ** 448 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,220 >> Oh, yeah! 449 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,121 >> Stop! 450 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:09,822 (music stops) 451 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:10,923 (video game music playing) 452 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:11,794 >> Now, who in here playing 453 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,731 Candy Crush? 454 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,425 >> Hey, how's it going? 455 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,126 I'm Josh. 456 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,257 >> Hi, Josh, I'm Anna. 457 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:15,932 >> Anna? 458 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:16,559 >> I'm Jermaine. 459 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,363 Nice meeting you. 460 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,674 Now, would you be willing to 461 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,865 paint your hands black to model 462 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,169 this here Soul King Cocoa 463 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,570 Butter? 464 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,611 >> Okay, okay. 465 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,835 Um... I'm gonna say yes. 466 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:28,711 >> Okay, cool. 467 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,378 >> Oh, that's so nice. 468 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,036 All right. 469 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:30,713 >> Let's do it. 470 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,510 >> Now, the only complexion we 471 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,611 have is Michael Jordan brown. 472 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:33,282 >> Well, actually, I mean, 473 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,550 if you're... I was thinking, 474 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,447 like, if you were gonna do the 475 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,418 hands, maybe would you be... 476 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,187 >> Would you be cool doing the 477 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,145 entire face? 478 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:39,822 >> Yeah, if you could do the 479 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,449 whole face? 480 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:41,253 >> The rest of your face? 481 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,464 >> Uh... 482 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,658 >> (panicked panting) 483 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,599 (distant shouts and explosions) 484 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,627 Incoming! 485 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,231 (panting) 486 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,638 >> As I held my friend's 487 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,140 entrails, I realized there was 488 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,054 no hope. 489 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:10,146 Hope for him or for any of us. 490 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,920 (sniffling) 491 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,249 I'm sitting here before you 492 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,923 alive, but it feels like my soul 493 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,392 died all those years ago. 494 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:20,030 (sniffling) 495 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,927 >> Powerful stuff. 496 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,660 Does anybody else have something 497 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,004 they'd like to share? 498 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,269 ** 499 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:31,398 >> I've seen countless battles. 500 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,344 Things no man should see. 501 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:38,211 In 1961, I was assigned to 502 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,711 assassinate Fidel Castro. 503 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,053 And after that, I joined a black 504 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,819 ops team where we were deployed 505 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,916 to destroy the Soyuz spacecraft. 506 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,019 >> Wait, isn't that from 507 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,391 "Call of Duty: Black Ops"? 508 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,489 >> After we were flanked and 509 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,791 pinned down for hours, 510 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:59,234 it was wave after wave 511 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,872 of Nazi zombies. 512 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,097 >> Okay, see he's referencing 513 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:02,842 gamertags. 514 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:03,935 He's talking about a video game. 515 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:04,667 Just a second ago, he was saying 516 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:05,711 Nazi zombies and that's 100%-- 517 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,365 >> Jeremy, the man's been 518 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:08,544 through hell. 519 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,611 Stop interrupting. 520 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,639 >> I had to sit there and watch 521 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,453 my friends die. 522 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,676 And respond. 523 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,722 Just to watch 'em die again. 524 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,347 (crying) The absolute worst part 525 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,493 is they'll call you after 526 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,458 they die. 527 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,655 They'll say stuff like, 528 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,626 "Dude, quit camping." 529 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:30,856 Or, "BRB, got to take a dump." 530 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,803 >> Gotta take a dump? 531 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,069 Son, did you come here to talk 532 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,637 about video games? 533 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,495 >> Video games?! 534 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,743 (chair clanking to floor) 535 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,167 You judge me? 536 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,672 I knew every time I go in the 537 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,343 battlefield, I could die at any 538 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,482 moment. 539 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,736 Or worse, my Wi-Fi would 540 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,054 go down. 541 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,406 And I'd be gone forever. 542 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,284 Or until it came back on. 543 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,852 But it would still suck. 544 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,120 'Cause all my experience points 545 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,349 would be gone. 546 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,593 Yes, you've lost soldiers. 547 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,089 You have, and I won't discredit 548 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,531 that, not for a second. 549 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,397 But have you ever, 550 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,995 ever lost points? 551 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,067 >> Okay, get the (bleep) 552 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:05,895 out of here. 553 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:06,828 >> Can you believe this dude? 554 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,073 I really-- honestly, I lost an 555 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:08,798 eye-- hey! 556 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,701 I'm a hero! 557 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,342 I'm a decorated hero! 558 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:14,568 >> PS3, TSD is real. 559 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,684 You are not alone. 560 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,446 >> They don't know my struggle. 561 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,675 They ain't seen the things I-- 562 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,009 (giggling) 563 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,954 Oh, my Go... 564 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,119 (screaming) 565 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:27,547 (bird screeches) 566 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,724 >> Yo,ou ever hear any songs 567 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,891 from the death metal band 568 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:30,789 Cannibal Corpse? 569 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:31,660 >> No, what songs? 570 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,158 >> Uh... we got "Scattered 571 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,760 Remains, Splattered Brains"? 572 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:35,561 >> No. 573 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,132 >> "Blowtorch Slaughter"? 574 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:37,960 >> No. 575 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,034 >> "Frantic Disembowelment"? 576 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:39,732 >> No. 577 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:40,602 >> "Devoured by Vermin"? 578 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,270 >> Negative. 579 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:41,898 >> "Gutted." 580 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,441 >> Sounds a little familiar, no. 581 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,596 >> "From Skin to Liquid"? 582 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,244 >> No. 583 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,008 >> "Vomit the Soul"? 584 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:46,835 >> Never. 585 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:47,609 >> How about "Rotted Body 586 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:48,477 Landslide"? 587 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,305 >> Nah. 588 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:49,939 >> "Pounded into Dust"? 589 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:50,642 >> Mm-mmm. 590 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:51,383 >> "The Spine Splitter"? 591 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,048 >> Nah. 592 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,145 >> How about 593 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,146 "Encased in Concrete"? 594 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,177 >> I've never heard that song. 595 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,752 >> "I Will Kill You"? 596 00:16:58,818 --> 00:16:59,448 >> No. 597 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,152 >> No? 598 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,553 Uh, "Hammer Smashed Face"? 599 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,364 >> Oh, that's the one 600 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,015 from "Ace Ventura." 601 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:03,662 >> That is the one from 602 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:04,286 "Ace Ventura." 603 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:04,891 >> Never heard it. 604 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,561 >> Never heard it? 605 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,188 >> No. 606 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:06,893 >> Let's just give it 607 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:07,793 a listen then. 608 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,704 Let's just listen to it. 609 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:14,667 ** (death metal music playing) 610 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,837 >> This is really helping me tap 611 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,195 into my murderous rage. 612 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,974 >> Me, too. 613 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,812 >> Did you just ride the subway? 614 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:22,838 I've never been on it before. 615 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:23,682 I was just wondering is it 616 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,776 like-- is it scary or is it-- 617 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:26,578 No. 618 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,549 'Cause it sounds like hell down 619 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,477 there, it sounds so loud, 620 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,581 I was just-- 621 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,222 >> Are there any, like, 622 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,290 loop-the-loops or anything like 623 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,087 that, would you-- no? 624 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,290 It sounds like a coaster, 625 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,061 though. 626 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,728 How often do people just barf 627 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,887 in it? 628 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:45,974 Yeah, if I barfed, would 629 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,125 people-- would I get-- do they 630 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,644 throw me off the ride or... 631 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,836 Would you ride with me or no? 632 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:52,808 Oh, you have to go. 633 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:53,835 You just got off, right. 634 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:58,847 >> I just wanna know if you've 635 00:17:58,845 --> 00:17:59,875 heard any of these Cannibal 636 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:00,809 Corpse songs. 637 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,283 "Covered with Sores"? 638 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,222 >> No. 639 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,316 >> How about, uh... 640 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,717 "A Skull Full of Maggots"? 641 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:06,818 >> Sounds charming. 642 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,719 (all chuckling) 643 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,990 "Hatchet to the Head"? 644 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,819 >> I never heard of this music. 645 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,064 >> Never played it, like, before 646 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:13,929 a date or anything like that? 647 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:14,586 >> No. 648 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,304 >> That's a good song to play 649 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,025 before a date. 650 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,568 >> How about "Vomit the Soul"? 651 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,325 >> Yeah, I heard of that one 652 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,372 before. 653 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,467 >> That's a popular one. 654 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,268 That was a popular one. 655 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,469 It was all over Twitter. 656 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,370 >> * 'Cause I'm saved 657 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,271 * By the bell 658 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,513 (laughing) 659 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,737 >> Look, this test will be 660 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,981 a breeze 'cause I already have 661 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,077 the answers. 662 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,619 >> Gee, Zack, that's cheating. 663 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,746 >> Screech, it's only cheating 664 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,591 if you get caught. 665 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,817 >> That's absolutely right, 666 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:42,821 Zack. 667 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,592 >> Uh-oh, that's our principal, 668 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,791 Mr. Belding. 669 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,133 >> You know, Zack, those answers 670 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,657 won't help you very much 671 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,832 if you're in detention. 672 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,871 >> Uh-oh. 673 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,536 Time-out. 674 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,066 Man, this is what I get 675 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,370 for not studying. 676 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,513 >> What the (bleep)? 677 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,938 ** 678 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,078 >> What's happening right now, 679 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:06,708 Richie? 680 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:07,483 >> Hey, Richie, why is Zack 681 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,320 talking to the camera? 682 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,315 >> Everybody frozen, man. 683 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,116 I don't know what the hell is 684 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:10,776 going on, man. 685 00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:11,953 >> Now, don't be late for class. 686 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,451 >> Oh, no. 687 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,823 Oh, no, they got my baby. 688 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,062 Lisa! 689 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:17,786 Lisa! 690 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:18,760 >> Uh, boys, we're supposed to 691 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:19,688 be frozen. 692 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:20,492 >> Let me tell you something. 693 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,063 Richie freezes for nobody. 694 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,101 (laughing) 695 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:23,825 >> Guys, you're breaking the 696 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,270 cardinal rule of all sitcoms. 697 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,295 If the coolest kid in school 698 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,469 calls for a time-out, 699 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,297 we all freeze. 700 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,571 And Zack is the coolest kid 701 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,599 in school. 702 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,503 Though I kind of like 703 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,474 Screech too. 704 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,372 Look at him. 705 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,073 >> I get it. 706 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:34,943 You don't think I'm cool because 707 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,911 I'm black, that's why, huh? 708 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,009 I'm African American. 709 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,680 >> You know I don't see color. 710 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,909 Or can't, rather. 711 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:41,683 Seriously, my eyeballs 712 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:42,451 don't work. 713 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,519 >> Say what? 714 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,376 >> (sighs) I'm sorry, 715 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,324 I can't let this go. 716 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,218 I have to write you up for 717 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:46,819 not freezing. 718 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,759 >> Aww... come on, Belding. 719 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:49,615 You're tripping, man. 720 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,362 Look, what you writing us 721 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,057 up for? 722 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,757 >> Summer's coming my way. 723 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,329 Time in. 724 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,627 >> Who is he talking to? 725 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,458 >> What are you talking about? 726 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,133 Summer's coming my way? 727 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:58,800 Where y'all going? 728 00:19:58,798 --> 00:19:59,568 Lisa! 729 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,666 Come on, y'all, that's it. 730 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,437 And summer's coming my way. 731 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,965 Time-out! 732 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:04,800 Time-out! 733 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,174 >> You're still not frozen. 734 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,072 >> Hey, what's up? 735 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,613 Um, so this is the shoe removal 736 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,178 challenge where, uh, the 737 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,776 champion, Josh Rabinowitz, 738 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,848 claims to be the best at 739 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,475 taking off his shoes with just 740 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:15,981 his feet, which is the stupidest 741 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:16,782 thing to claim you're 742 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,483 the best at. 743 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,754 And he's gonna be facing Evan, 744 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,592 who is the challenger. 745 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,118 >> (chanting "Evan, Evan...") 746 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,322 >> All right, on three. 747 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,694 I got a dollar on Evan! 748 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,162 I got a dollar on Evan! 749 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,829 All right, one, two, three! 750 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,129 >> (chanting "Evan...") 751 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:34,970 (cheering) 752 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,497 Give Evan his dollar! 753 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,943 Evan! 754 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:38,937 Evan got a dollar! 755 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:39,668 >> Thank you. 756 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,572 >> Josh, you're fired. 757 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,914 >> Oh, man, we got a new Josh. 758 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,139 >> We got a new Josh. 759 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:44,983 >> A new Josh. 760 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,477 >> All right, this is FOTP 761 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,479 with a new cast member, Evan! 762 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,451 >> Evan! 763 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,119 (cheering) 764 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,847 >> Go back to your Keebler tree, 765 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:53,592 Josh! 766 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,816 (all laughing) 767 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:55,961 >> Look at Josh's sock.