1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:09,447 Ooh. 3 00:01:22,174 --> 00:01:23,574 4 00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:25,275 to face the pooper 5 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,785 I feel like Superman 6 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,966 I'm just recuperating 7 00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:31,579 8 00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,877 Is twisting in its cage 9 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:37,700 feels like a twenty gauge 10 00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:39,333 a passing stage 11 00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:40,762 it's beige 12 00:01:40,861 --> 00:01:43,101 that burn me 13 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,397 and learn me 14 00:01:46,575 --> 00:01:50,455 I think I know 15 00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,702 all that I know 16 00:01:52,831 --> 00:01:54,511 all about it 17 00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:56,265 I doubt it 18 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:59,217 and every day's a funeral 19 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,860 I'm feeling lost 20 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:02,485 I'm Mr. Frost 21 00:02:02,591 --> 00:02:04,151 I'm off the edge 22 00:02:04,259 --> 00:02:05,579 23 00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:07,758 that burn me 24 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:09,810 and learn me 25 00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,813 Hello. Hello 26 00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:14,335 - So... Wait Hey Hey - What? 27 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,160 You're such a rogue. Gimme that. 28 00:02:16,274 --> 00:02:18,314 - No! - Gimme that. 29 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:21,442 Hey... hey! Hey! Hey! 30 00:02:21,612 --> 00:02:23,732 to the bottom of the ocean 31 00:02:23,823 --> 00:02:25,823 - Hey! Hey! - Hey? 32 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,550 33 00:02:28,704 --> 00:02:32,744 of the big blue sea 34 00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:34,918 35 00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:41,843 of the big blue sea 36 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:45,136 Hey, baby. Baby! 37 00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:48,945 Turn it off. Ugh! Turn it off! 38 00:02:49,142 --> 00:02:51,182 - Turn it off! 39 00:02:57,108 --> 00:02:58,508 Do you think this is a joke? 40 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,451 When I come home tonight, we're gonna talk about this... 41 00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:01,651 'cause this is not working. 42 00:03:01,739 --> 00:03:04,379 You want to push it even further? 43 00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,494 Whatever. This is ridiculous. 44 00:03:09,664 --> 00:03:11,744 and learn me 45 00:03:11,874 --> 00:03:16,354 I think I know 46 00:03:16,546 --> 00:03:19,506 I tell you more than I know 47 00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:23,155 I want to be a stone 48 00:03:23,345 --> 00:03:26,305 to the bottom of the ocean 49 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,673 lie there with you 50 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,562 till I'm gone 51 00:03:48,456 --> 00:03:50,776 It happened again... 52 00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:52,436 last night. 53 00:03:52,543 --> 00:03:55,863 - Ohh. - Mmm. 54 00:03:56,046 --> 00:03:57,566 It's hard to explain. 55 00:03:57,673 --> 00:03:59,993 It starts out like an earthquake... 56 00:04:02,011 --> 00:04:04,811 And I look over at the girl next to me... 57 00:04:04,973 --> 00:04:07,493 and whoever she is, she's not Nicole. 58 00:04:09,895 --> 00:04:12,255 And all I feel is emptiness. 59 00:04:13,691 --> 00:04:14,971 And that's when it happens. 60 00:04:16,693 --> 00:04:20,533 This great big black hole... 61 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,780 opens up over my head. 62 00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:24,949 Again with the black hole. 63 00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:28,717 - Yeah. 64 00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:32,476 It's nothing but vast emptiness. 65 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:36,590 - And then what? - I panic. 66 00:04:48,979 --> 00:04:50,099 - Unh! 67 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,963 You gotta help me. You gotta... 68 00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,279 light a candle for me or something. 69 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,490 I'm not lighting a candle... 70 00:05:05,579 --> 00:05:06,939 so you can feel better about getting laid. 71 00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:08,439 That's not what this is about. 72 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:12,311 Look, it's been six months since Nicole dumped you. 73 00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,622 And you're running around feeling sorry for yourself... 74 00:05:14,757 --> 00:05:15,957 screwing every woman in sight. 75 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,049 You want me to tell you it's OK, that God forgives you... 76 00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:20,536 but at some point, it's not OK, and he doesn't forgive you! 77 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,760 What kind of advice is that? 78 00:05:21,846 --> 00:05:23,526 If you don't like my advice, go see a real priest. 79 00:05:23,641 --> 00:05:26,241 How will you be a real priest if you can't follow the rules? 80 00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:32,715 Besides, you're... 81 00:05:32,859 --> 00:05:35,499 you're the only priest I know who happens to be my brother. 82 00:05:35,654 --> 00:05:38,574 And you're only a year away from being a real priest anyway. 83 00:05:38,782 --> 00:05:40,742 Two years. Look, what you need to do... 84 00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:44,187 is deal with your emotions and stop screwing around. 85 00:05:44,371 --> 00:05:47,851 What I don't need is a lecture from you, dick. 86 00:05:50,545 --> 00:05:51,865 You're the dick 87 00:05:53,631 --> 00:05:56,791 No. That sounds great. That sounds incredible. 88 00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:59,769 Uh-huh. We'll probably have to bump a few things... 89 00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,770 from our schedule, but we can make it happen for tonight. 90 00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:04,695 Yeah. Matt and I will definitely be there tonight. 91 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:06,250 We're putting our bells on right now. 92 00:06:06,353 --> 00:06:10,193 OK. All right. Bye-bye. 93 00:06:10,399 --> 00:06:13,639 - I can't go. - What are you talking about? 94 00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,620 I just don't feel like it right now. 95 00:06:15,738 --> 00:06:17,098 You don't fe... Look! 96 00:06:17,198 --> 00:06:19,598 I know you're still trying to work out your Nicole issues... 97 00:06:19,743 --> 00:06:22,223 with the big black hole, but trust me, trust me... 98 00:06:22,371 --> 00:06:23,891 I don't have any Nicole issues. 99 00:06:23,998 --> 00:06:27,598 Hi. I'm one of the many pictures of Nicole... 100 00:06:27,793 --> 00:06:30,353 that infest Ryan and Matt's apartment after six months. 101 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:32,105 And she's hot, Matt. I don't mind looking at her. 102 00:06:32,215 --> 00:06:33,295 I'm just saying you have issues. 103 00:06:33,381 --> 00:06:34,621 These are not issues. 104 00:06:34,717 --> 00:06:36,157 Do you still think about her when you jerk off? 105 00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:39,475 Anyway, I've got something that's gonna make it all better. 106 00:06:39,597 --> 00:06:42,877 Those two girls we met in Tahoe... 107 00:06:43,059 --> 00:06:45,699 in town for one night and one night only. 108 00:06:48,231 --> 00:06:50,551 Don't say no yet. No, don't say no. No, no, no. 109 00:06:50,692 --> 00:06:54,132 "I want to come. They're hot. I want pussy." 110 00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:55,401 Oh, yeah! 111 00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:06,612 - Hi. - Hi. 112 00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:07,831 How are you doing? 113 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,520 - Good. - Good. 114 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,150 - You? - Excellent. 115 00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:13,176 Good. 116 00:07:14,385 --> 00:07:15,745 Mmm. Waiter? 117 00:07:18,597 --> 00:07:21,877 This isn't Absolut Vodka. I ordered Absolut. 118 00:07:22,059 --> 00:07:24,979 - Yes, it is. - Are you calling me a liar? 119 00:07:25,146 --> 00:07:27,386 I'll bring you another one. 120 00:07:29,651 --> 00:07:32,811 Sorry. I hope I didn't come off as mean. 121 00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:36,868 No, no, no. You know what you want. 122 00:07:37,076 --> 00:07:38,556 That's a good thing, right? 123 00:07:38,661 --> 00:07:41,941 Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do. 124 00:07:42,123 --> 00:07:44,683 I know exactly what I want. 125 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,740 Mmm. 126 00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:02,562 Unh! 127 00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:04,686 Oh! 128 00:08:04,814 --> 00:08:05,894 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 129 00:08:05,981 --> 00:08:08,101 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 130 00:08:08,234 --> 00:08:10,274 - I'll be right back, OK? - OK. 131 00:08:12,655 --> 00:08:14,655 - Get it together. 132 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:19,034 Hey. Throw me a magnum for my magnum, big boy? 133 00:08:19,204 --> 00:08:21,324 - Yeah. - Thank you. 134 00:08:21,415 --> 00:08:24,855 Hey, have you ever noticed the crack on my ceiling? 135 00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:28,163 Dude, you're action-packed with issues. 136 00:08:28,339 --> 00:08:31,819 I can't do this anymore. I can't do it. 137 00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,049 What, does Johnny not want to come out and play? 138 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:37,299 No. Johnny... Johnny's fine, OK? 139 00:08:37,432 --> 00:08:40,032 It's... I'm all fucked up. 140 00:08:40,184 --> 00:08:42,864 All right, here's what you're gonna do. 141 00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:44,861 You're gonna strap a helmet on Big John... 142 00:08:44,981 --> 00:08:47,141 put him in the game and he will play his little heart out. 143 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,716 OK? He'll put up big numbers for you. 144 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,259 You're gonna forget about the cracks in the ceiling... 145 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,885 forget about Nicole. 146 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:56,790 Go out and give your star player the support he needs. 147 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,435 - Right? - Right. 148 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,300 Helmet. 149 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,616 Oh, God! Yes! Ohh! 150 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,352 Oh! Oh! 151 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,182 Oh, come with me. Come with me. Are you ready? 152 00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:10,261 - Almost. - Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 153 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,384 Oh, yes! Oh! 154 00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:19,579 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. Nothing. 155 00:09:19,769 --> 00:09:22,249 - I'm... Unh. - Oh! Oh! 156 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:25,236 Oh! Oh, yeah! 157 00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:30,208 Are you with me? I'm close. I'm close. 158 00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:33,605 Unh! Oh! Oh, God! 159 00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,663 - Ready? - Now? 160 00:09:35,787 --> 00:09:37,667 Now! Ohh! 161 00:09:37,789 --> 00:09:39,269 Ohh. 162 00:09:44,545 --> 00:09:48,545 Ohhhh! 163 00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:51,918 Ohhhh! 164 00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:53,776 Unh. 165 00:09:53,889 --> 00:09:56,209 Oh-ho! 166 00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:58,430 Ohh. 167 00:09:58,519 --> 00:10:01,159 Ahh. 168 00:10:01,313 --> 00:10:03,433 What the fuck was that? 169 00:10:04,818 --> 00:10:06,018 W-what? 170 00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:09,350 - Did you come? - Yeah. 171 00:10:09,531 --> 00:10:11,251 No, you didn't. You faked it. 172 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:14,887 No, no, no. Guys don't fake it. I don't even think that we can. 173 00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:16,598 - You faked it. - Hey. 174 00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:21,195 Hey. Hey. 175 00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:25,556 Let go! 176 00:10:25,673 --> 00:10:29,393 - Show me. - Show you what? 177 00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:31,994 You know. The stuff. 178 00:10:32,138 --> 00:10:34,338 This is ridiculous. 179 00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:36,234 What are you hiding? 180 00:10:36,351 --> 00:10:39,791 Nothing. Just give me second, OK? 181 00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:45,179 - Ow! 182 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,797 - Just a sec. 183 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:53,533 Here we go. Use anything. 184 00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:56,343 - What's going on? - I need something. 185 00:10:56,497 --> 00:10:59,257 Anything that looks like semen. OK? 186 00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:00,857 Something that looks like semen? 187 00:11:03,088 --> 00:11:04,728 What is going on out there? 188 00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:10,581 Fuck! 189 00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:15,964 Eww. You are such a bad liar. 190 00:11:21,983 --> 00:11:25,263 - Hey, Duncan. 191 00:11:25,486 --> 00:11:28,246 - Thanks a lot, man. - What's up, Matt? 192 00:11:28,407 --> 00:11:30,487 - What's up, man? - Chris. 193 00:11:30,617 --> 00:11:33,057 Heard you tried to leave one in the chamber last night. 194 00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:35,844 - Where'd you hear that? - internet. 195 00:11:35,998 --> 00:11:38,718 It's all on the internet nowadays, you know. 196 00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:40,397 This is an internet company. 197 00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:42,063 And Ryan has a big mouth, huh? 198 00:11:42,172 --> 00:11:44,972 - Morning, ladies. - Hmm. 199 00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:50,231 So, you in on the basketball pool or what? 200 00:11:50,388 --> 00:11:51,588 What's the line on that game anyway? 201 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,640 I'll talk to the bagel guy when he gets here. 202 00:11:54,809 --> 00:11:57,049 What does the bagel guy have to do with this? 203 00:11:57,187 --> 00:11:59,907 The bagel guy knows everything. The dude's incredible. 204 00:12:00,066 --> 00:12:02,066 Then how come can't he get here on time with the bagels? 205 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:06,967 - Appreciate it. - Is that what I think it is? 206 00:12:07,115 --> 00:12:09,235 - Don't worry. - Can I see it? 207 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:13,687 Hey. Dude, it's just been one of those days, you know? 208 00:12:13,913 --> 00:12:15,433 Yes, I do. 209 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:18,300 I got held up at this import- export place in Chinatown. 210 00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:20,340 Some party. 211 00:12:20,462 --> 00:12:22,582 - Golden Spear? - That's the one. 212 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:25,194 Their mimosas they make there are strong. 213 00:12:25,343 --> 00:12:27,143 Go straight to your head. Blbbh. 214 00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:31,129 I used to know someone who worked there. 215 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:33,146 You know Tatiana? 216 00:12:33,268 --> 00:12:34,908 Yeah, I know Tatiana. She's nice. 217 00:12:35,019 --> 00:12:36,259 No, she's not nice. She's hot. 218 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,315 I'd hit that. And how about Merj? 219 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,920 Yeah, I know Merj. 220 00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:42,385 And what about that really hot chick that got engaged? 221 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,208 That was funny. 222 00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:45,642 What really hot chick got engaged? 223 00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:49,780 The expediter chick. You know, real slinky. 224 00:12:49,994 --> 00:12:52,114 - What's her name? - Nicole? 225 00:12:52,247 --> 00:12:53,447 Nicole. That's it. 226 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,420 Man, she knows the guy, like, two weeks. 227 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,822 She goes to France, she comes back, she's engaged. 228 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,240 Now, she is spontaneous combustion hot. 229 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:03,380 - I would definitely hit that. 230 00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:06,991 How do you know it's Nicole... N-Nicole that got engaged? 231 00:13:07,179 --> 00:13:09,499 Dude, that's what the banner said at the party. 232 00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:11,641 "Congratulations Nicole." 233 00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:13,488 Whew. I can't believe it... 234 00:13:13,603 --> 00:13:15,363 because that girl, you can't even look right at her. 235 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,840 She's so hot you need one of those eclipse-watching things... 236 00:13:19,025 --> 00:13:21,665 just to look directly at her, she's so radiantly hot! 237 00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:24,380 It makes me want to just throw her down, you know... 238 00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:26,892 and just- You know what I mean? 239 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,793 Yeah. 240 00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:30,671 I'm glad we can connect on that. 241 00:13:33,582 --> 00:13:34,742 Later, pimp. 242 00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,234 - Later. - Rrr! 243 00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:49,456 Hey, Matt... 244 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,520 Matt? 245 00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:53,603 You... you all right? 246 00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:47,910 - Unh! - Oh! Oh! 247 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:51,157 - Oh, God. I am so sorry. - it�s OK. it�s OK. 248 00:14:51,332 --> 00:14:53,212 - Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. 249 00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:56,534 Is there anything I can do to make it better? 250 00:14:56,714 --> 00:14:58,994 Um... 251 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,653 anything? 252 00:15:00,926 --> 00:15:04,766 Again? Another girl already? 253 00:15:04,973 --> 00:15:09,013 - It�s not even the weekend. - I know, I know. 254 00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:12,985 She met someone. Nicole's getting married. 255 00:15:14,691 --> 00:15:17,011 I'm sorry. 256 00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:19,472 I mean, what can I do? 257 00:15:19,613 --> 00:15:23,053 - Tell me what I can do. - I don't know what to tell you. 258 00:15:23,242 --> 00:15:26,042 This isn't really a problem I know much about. 259 00:15:28,289 --> 00:15:29,849 Listen, isn't part of the priestly thing... 260 00:15:29,957 --> 00:15:32,077 giving relationship advice? 261 00:15:32,209 --> 00:15:34,569 Relationship advice, yes. 262 00:15:34,713 --> 00:15:36,753 Sex advice, no. 263 00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:39,442 Part of the priestly thing, and stop calling it that... 264 00:15:39,592 --> 00:15:40,952 is not to have sex, remember? 265 00:15:41,053 --> 00:15:43,373 It�s funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. 266 00:15:43,514 --> 00:15:45,634 - Sure you did. - No, I didn't. 267 00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,526 I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing. 268 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:49,766 At least for some. 269 00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:52,734 - Get out. - Fine. 270 00:15:58,071 --> 00:16:02,351 - Good morning, Matt. - Morning, father. 271 00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:04,215 What's with the purple banners? 272 00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:07,008 Lent. Starts today. 273 00:16:07,164 --> 00:16:09,604 Going to be a long forty days this year. 274 00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,950 I'm giving up my one vice... 275 00:16:12,086 --> 00:16:14,686 those precious little Madeleine cookies... 276 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,280 dipped in a starbucks mocha. 277 00:16:17,424 --> 00:16:21,424 It's so hard giving up what you love the most. 278 00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:28,816 I've got it! Jesus Christ, John, I've got an answer! 279 00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,219 And the question is? 280 00:16:30,313 --> 00:16:31,593 - Nicole. - Again? 281 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:34,491 No sex for Lent... for forty days. 282 00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:36,572 If I can do that, then everything will be OK. 283 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:37,895 That isn't what Lent is. 284 00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:41,027 Lent is about sacrifice and growth through self-denial. 285 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,320 Lent is to remember... 286 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:45,210 How Christ felt during the fast in the desert. 287 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,051 I grew up in the same house as you, moron. 288 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:49,445 But when it comes down to it, that's exactly what this is. 289 00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:51,664 This is growth, this is self-denial... 290 00:16:51,795 --> 00:16:54,835 and this is sacrifice. 291 00:16:55,007 --> 00:16:58,047 Dude! 292 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,898 It's not that simple, Matt. Trust me. 293 00:17:00,013 --> 00:17:01,133 It is that... 294 00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:06,234 You're right. 295 00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:09,594 You're totally right. 296 00:17:09,773 --> 00:17:12,373 Sex alone is not enough. 297 00:17:12,525 --> 00:17:14,885 It has to be sex and all things sex-like. 298 00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:16,949 You'll never be able to do that. 299 00:17:17,072 --> 00:17:18,712 Just listen, here's the plan. 300 00:17:18,824 --> 00:17:21,424 One... no sex. 301 00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:24,257 Two... no sexual intimacy of any kind. 302 00:17:24,414 --> 00:17:26,734 No nibbling, no biting, no scratching. 303 00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:30,474 No sucking, no fondling. None of that. 304 00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:33,270 And three... 305 00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:35,863 no masturbation. 306 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,850 You won't last a week. 307 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,730 Oh, you're wrong, brother. 308 00:17:39,846 --> 00:17:42,086 I'm gonna go the distance. 309 00:17:43,808 --> 00:17:50,808 Mmm 310 00:17:51,151 --> 00:17:52,951 to be a man 311 00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:54,627 312 00:17:54,737 --> 00:17:56,337 would call my name 313 00:17:56,447 --> 00:17:58,207 314 00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,604 315 00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:03,184 you're foolin'?" 316 00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:04,811 317 00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:07,835 a little purity 318 00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:10,282 319 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,982 320 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,650 and hugged me 321 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,682 like a rock 322 00:18:17,845 --> 00:18:19,165 323 00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:23,543 of ages and loved me 324 00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:26,008 loved me 325 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,667 326 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,693 327 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,697 328 00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:33,778 Your brother looks happy. 329 00:18:33,945 --> 00:18:36,585 He's just taken a vow of celibacy. 330 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,621 Oh. 331 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,103 Oh, dear. 332 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,091 333 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,420 334 00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:01,823 335 00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:06,467 336 00:19:06,649 --> 00:19:11,569 337 00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:19,201 338 00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:22,130 339 00:19:23,917 --> 00:19:27,557 like a God 340 00:19:27,755 --> 00:19:30,075 341 00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,415 Whoo. Dude. 342 00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:35,473 and prom... 343 00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:38,052 Dude. 344 00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:39,540 What the fuck is that? 345 00:19:39,642 --> 00:19:43,162 This is a 1966 Karmann Ghia cuts. 346 00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:44,433 When I'm finished with that, I'm gonna do... 347 00:19:44,522 --> 00:19:47,442 the Caterham super seven cycle-fender special. 348 00:19:49,694 --> 00:19:52,534 We're going out tonight. There's this club... 349 00:19:52,656 --> 00:19:54,216 Remember that Australian chick... Jennifer Moss? 350 00:19:54,324 --> 00:19:56,084 She's got friends visiting from Sydney. 351 00:19:56,159 --> 00:19:57,599 Can't. I have laundry. 352 00:19:57,703 --> 00:20:01,303 Do you know why they call it down under, Matt? 353 00:20:01,498 --> 00:20:03,138 I still can't. 354 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:06,330 Do you realize how much time we waste thinking about girls? 355 00:20:08,047 --> 00:20:11,567 You want some alone time in the apartment for jerking off. 356 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,720 That's cool. I can do that. That's cool. 357 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:16,765 I'll tell 'em you said hi. 358 00:20:56,224 --> 00:20:58,144 Ohh. 359 00:21:03,398 --> 00:21:06,438 Do you have change for two dollars? 360 00:21:26,673 --> 00:21:28,473 Excuse me. I forgot something to read. 361 00:21:28,592 --> 00:21:30,272 Do you mind if I borrow this? 362 00:21:30,385 --> 00:21:32,505 Thanks. 363 00:21:39,312 --> 00:21:40,672 A lovers' rendezvous. 364 00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:46,220 You... you underline words that you don't know... 365 00:21:46,403 --> 00:21:47,443 and then look them up later? 366 00:21:47,529 --> 00:21:50,849 Right? And you underlined "tryst"... 367 00:21:51,033 --> 00:21:53,673 which is a meeting of lovers. 368 00:21:56,413 --> 00:21:58,973 I do that, too, so... 369 00:22:09,219 --> 00:22:12,019 Matt? 370 00:22:12,181 --> 00:22:14,581 It was on the cover of the magazine. 371 00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:18,519 Can I borrow a sheet of fabric softener? 372 00:22:22,483 --> 00:22:23,763 Thanks. 373 00:22:37,207 --> 00:22:40,167 It's been really fun almost chatting with you. 374 00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,368 Same time next week? 375 00:22:45,174 --> 00:22:47,534 OK. Bye. 376 00:22:56,395 --> 00:22:58,235 You are way ahead of schedule. 377 00:22:58,355 --> 00:23:01,155 If I were you, I'd give me something else to do quick. 378 00:23:01,316 --> 00:23:02,596 What about the Willow and Smart account? 379 00:23:02,693 --> 00:23:03,853 Think you can handle that? 380 00:23:03,944 --> 00:23:05,344 I know window treatments aren't the sexiest... 381 00:23:05,446 --> 00:23:08,086 Oh, no, no. Doesn't bother me at all. 382 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,960 Good. You'll be designing the entire webpage. 383 00:23:13,413 --> 00:23:14,533 OK. 384 00:23:26,635 --> 00:23:28,995 Hey, Ryan. What's happening? 385 00:23:29,138 --> 00:23:32,298 386 00:23:33,893 --> 00:23:35,813 Do you know how many hours I spent... 387 00:23:35,938 --> 00:23:37,458 Iooking for my Temple of Poon tape? 388 00:23:37,564 --> 00:23:40,124 One. That's a long time to be looking for porn, Matt. 389 00:23:40,275 --> 00:23:41,755 What the fuck is going on here? 390 00:23:44,071 --> 00:23:46,471 One... you can't do it. 391 00:23:46,615 --> 00:23:49,255 You can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you. 392 00:23:49,409 --> 00:23:51,729 No man can do it. It goes against nature. 393 00:23:51,870 --> 00:23:54,670 The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. 394 00:23:54,832 --> 00:23:56,432 You're gonna piss off the seeds, man! 395 00:23:56,542 --> 00:23:58,702 You're gonna... It goes against science! 396 00:23:58,837 --> 00:24:00,077 You want to be the guy who goes against science? 397 00:24:02,006 --> 00:24:03,326 And two? 398 00:24:03,424 --> 00:24:05,144 Two... are you out of your fucking mind? 399 00:24:05,260 --> 00:24:06,860 You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich! 400 00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:08,490 You think you can go forty days? 401 00:24:08,597 --> 00:24:11,517 Four... You... This isn't normal! 402 00:24:14,227 --> 00:24:18,147 - She got engaged, Ryan. 403 00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:21,478 Nicole got engaged. 404 00:24:21,611 --> 00:24:22,891 Well... 405 00:24:25,073 --> 00:24:28,673 I knew that. I knew that. l... I didn't tell you... 406 00:24:28,869 --> 00:24:29,989 just because I thought you'd get pissed off. 407 00:24:30,078 --> 00:24:31,158 I'm sorry. I should have told you. 408 00:24:31,246 --> 00:24:32,486 I had to hear it from the bagel guy! 409 00:24:32,581 --> 00:24:34,861 - Does that guy know everything? - You should have told me! 410 00:24:35,001 --> 00:24:36,721 I know that. I completely should have told you. 411 00:24:36,836 --> 00:24:39,996 I'm sorry. Just explain this to me, though, all right? 412 00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:44,690 Nicole gets engaged, you decide to take a vow of abstinence. 413 00:24:44,927 --> 00:24:47,247 Haven't you gotten to the point where you need to take a break? 414 00:24:47,389 --> 00:24:52,109 Yes! Look, Matt, I swear off girls once a week. 415 00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:54,230 Then, before you know it, it's morning. 416 00:24:54,354 --> 00:24:55,554 That's part of the game. 417 00:24:55,648 --> 00:24:57,928 Did your brother put you up to this or something? 418 00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:00,267 You know what? He's about as supportive as you are. 419 00:25:00,403 --> 00:25:03,123 What do you care anyway? This doesn't affect you in any way. 420 00:25:05,450 --> 00:25:07,930 You... 421 00:25:08,077 --> 00:25:10,357 This affects everyone. 422 00:25:10,497 --> 00:25:12,177 Right now, the pot is at two hundred. 423 00:25:12,290 --> 00:25:14,770 It's a minimum bet of $50 a day, which goes into the pot. 424 00:25:14,919 --> 00:25:17,159 If your day's the day, you win the pot, less expenses... 425 00:25:17,295 --> 00:25:19,535 and a bottle of champagne. 426 00:25:19,672 --> 00:25:22,032 If more than one person bets on the winning day... 427 00:25:22,175 --> 00:25:23,815 they split the pot according to the percentage... 428 00:25:23,927 --> 00:25:26,687 of the day's total bets that have been placed. 429 00:25:26,848 --> 00:25:29,568 I go forty days without sex all the time. 430 00:25:29,726 --> 00:25:31,686 But, dude, you spank it. 431 00:25:31,811 --> 00:25:32,891 - No jerkin' off? - True. 432 00:25:32,979 --> 00:25:35,139 Yeah. That's why my money's on today. 433 00:25:35,273 --> 00:25:37,233 There are two things to bet on... 434 00:25:37,358 --> 00:25:41,118 one... will it be with some girl? 435 00:25:41,321 --> 00:25:47,521 Two... will it be some lonely night down the stretch? Pbbt. 436 00:25:49,830 --> 00:25:53,230 How will we know that, exactly? 437 00:25:53,417 --> 00:25:56,377 Well, I can't tell you everything... 438 00:25:56,546 --> 00:25:59,466 but I can tell you that there is somebody on the inside. 439 00:25:59,632 --> 00:26:01,112 Yep. Like Ryan. 440 00:26:01,218 --> 00:26:02,498 OK, so Matt doesn't know anything? 441 00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:05,034 No, no, no, no. 442 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:08,620 That is very important... key. 443 00:26:08,976 --> 00:26:12,176 This is great. I mean, this is crazy great. 444 00:26:12,354 --> 00:26:15,914 Everything is so much simpler when there's no sex involved. 445 00:26:16,108 --> 00:26:18,908 I think this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 446 00:26:19,070 --> 00:26:21,070 You're starting to feel it, aren't you? 447 00:26:21,197 --> 00:26:22,957 What? 448 00:26:23,075 --> 00:26:26,355 The abstinence... it's starting to get under your skin. 449 00:26:26,537 --> 00:26:29,937 No. Not at all. I'm fine. 450 00:26:31,292 --> 00:26:34,852 You know what I gave up for Lent? 451 00:26:35,045 --> 00:26:38,845 Meat. Why don't you try something like that? 452 00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:41,170 Trust me. Celibacy takes years... 453 00:26:41,302 --> 00:26:43,382 of commitment, character, and discipline... 454 00:26:43,512 --> 00:26:45,872 which, quite frankly, are not your best traits. 455 00:26:46,016 --> 00:26:48,376 You think you're the only one with a little willpower? 456 00:26:48,518 --> 00:26:50,358 A little willpower? 457 00:26:50,478 --> 00:26:52,438 If you can do this, I can do this. 458 00:26:52,564 --> 00:26:54,844 You have no idea. 459 00:26:54,983 --> 00:26:56,383 What is so hard about forty days? 460 00:26:56,443 --> 00:26:57,563 They're guys. 461 00:26:57,653 --> 00:27:00,413 To them, forty minutes is like an eternity. 462 00:27:00,573 --> 00:27:01,653 They're like animals. 463 00:27:01,741 --> 00:27:04,741 Their entire lives revolve around their penises. 464 00:27:04,910 --> 00:27:07,030 How many days do you think he'll last? 465 00:27:07,122 --> 00:27:10,882 Days? Mm-mmm, girl. Watch this. 466 00:27:11,084 --> 00:27:15,044 Uh-oh. 467 00:27:15,255 --> 00:27:16,375 You are so bad. 468 00:27:28,645 --> 00:27:30,925 - Hi. - Hi. 469 00:27:32,648 --> 00:27:35,848 Did you, um, do these layouts? 470 00:27:36,027 --> 00:27:38,387 I helped on them, kind of. 471 00:27:41,575 --> 00:27:43,335 These are amazing. 472 00:27:43,452 --> 00:27:46,732 Thanks. 473 00:27:46,914 --> 00:27:51,314 You're like this totally amazing layout guy. 474 00:27:51,544 --> 00:27:54,664 Something's happening. Behind me. 475 00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:00,279 - OK, come here. - Oh, no. 476 00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:05,423 Hey, I have a big layout problem. 477 00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,929 You do? 478 00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:11,743 Can you keep a secret? 479 00:28:11,858 --> 00:28:13,818 Yeah. 480 00:28:17,072 --> 00:28:18,592 Oh, goodness. 481 00:28:20,034 --> 00:28:23,914 I have this tattoo of a butterfly... 482 00:28:24,121 --> 00:28:26,081 on the inside of my thigh. 483 00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:28,086 Yes, you do. 484 00:28:28,209 --> 00:28:30,449 And I want to get something on the other side... 485 00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:33,425 but, um, I don't know what to get. 486 00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:36,509 Any ideas? 487 00:28:36,676 --> 00:28:38,076 I don't know. 488 00:28:38,178 --> 00:28:40,178 I was thinking about... 489 00:28:40,305 --> 00:28:42,025 like a cute little pussycat or something. 490 00:28:42,140 --> 00:28:44,780 Do you like pussy... cats, Matt? 491 00:28:44,935 --> 00:28:46,455 Yeah. 492 00:28:46,562 --> 00:28:48,522 'Cause if you're not doing anything later... 493 00:28:48,647 --> 00:28:50,927 you should come over and help me pick one out. 494 00:28:52,234 --> 00:28:54,314 I can't. I mean, we can't... 495 00:28:54,445 --> 00:28:57,325 because pussycats are mean to butterflies. 496 00:28:57,490 --> 00:28:59,290 They don't like them. They dislike them very much... 497 00:28:59,409 --> 00:29:01,009 and hit them with their paws... 498 00:29:01,119 --> 00:29:02,519 and it hurts the little butterfly. 499 00:29:02,620 --> 00:29:06,620 - Right. - Yeah. 500 00:29:06,832 --> 00:29:10,232 Well, OK, if you change your mind... 501 00:29:13,173 --> 00:29:15,533 Did she just Xerox her ass? 502 00:29:15,676 --> 00:29:18,196 - What? - Get off me! 503 00:29:18,346 --> 00:29:21,626 Give me a call, OK? 504 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,000 This is a photocopy of Candy's ass? 505 00:29:36,740 --> 00:29:38,020 Yep. 506 00:29:38,117 --> 00:29:39,957 You're gonna call her, right? 507 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,280 Obviously, you're gonna call her. 508 00:29:44,415 --> 00:29:47,695 No. I'm not gonna call her. 509 00:29:50,297 --> 00:29:54,017 Ha ha! As soon as you don't want it, they can smell it. 510 00:29:54,218 --> 00:29:57,578 She photocopied her ass. She photocopied her own ass. 511 00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:58,883 You're doing a lot of laundry lately. 512 00:29:58,972 --> 00:30:00,252 Didn't you just do it last week? 513 00:30:00,307 --> 00:30:02,147 Just keeping it clean. 514 00:30:05,688 --> 00:30:06,808 Who is she? 515 00:30:09,192 --> 00:30:10,792 Look, I'm not gonna sit in my room... 516 00:30:10,902 --> 00:30:12,462 and build models for the next forty days. 517 00:30:12,570 --> 00:30:15,850 - Oh, you like her! - It's... it's not that. 518 00:30:16,032 --> 00:30:17,712 No, no, no! Have a nice time. 519 00:30:18,076 --> 00:30:21,636 520 00:30:21,831 --> 00:30:25,111 gonna start with me 521 00:30:25,293 --> 00:30:27,613 522 00:30:27,753 --> 00:30:30,273 523 00:30:33,426 --> 00:30:38,266 I don't know its destination 524 00:30:40,142 --> 00:30:45,822 to a bad, bad situation 525 00:30:46,107 --> 00:30:47,747 Busted. 526 00:30:47,858 --> 00:30:50,738 I don't know... 527 00:30:50,904 --> 00:30:52,264 - Yeah. 528 00:30:54,532 --> 00:30:56,772 I thought I should tell you I can speak just fine. 529 00:31:02,207 --> 00:31:03,567 They were all out of flowers. 530 00:31:03,667 --> 00:31:06,067 Yeah. That's cute. 531 00:31:06,211 --> 00:31:08,891 I'm Matt. Officially. 532 00:31:09,048 --> 00:31:10,488 Officially Matt. 533 00:31:10,591 --> 00:31:13,471 Officially Erica. 534 00:31:13,636 --> 00:31:15,036 Officially. 535 00:31:15,138 --> 00:31:17,378 So, you normally do your laundry on Friday nights? 536 00:31:17,515 --> 00:31:19,475 - Yeah. It's my new thing. - New thing? 537 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,360 Well, there was a party... 538 00:31:26,024 --> 00:31:27,824 Don't you ever feel like you just keep meeting... 539 00:31:27,901 --> 00:31:30,581 the same exact people over and over? 540 00:31:30,738 --> 00:31:32,938 Like people that went to this kind of college... 541 00:31:33,074 --> 00:31:34,834 And now work that kind of job, right? 542 00:31:34,951 --> 00:31:36,071 Yeah. 543 00:31:38,371 --> 00:31:40,651 I want to have a party with a list at the door... 544 00:31:40,748 --> 00:31:42,628 of all my friends and friends of friends... 545 00:31:42,751 --> 00:31:44,631 and if you're on that list... 546 00:31:44,753 --> 00:31:46,193 or you know somebody on that list... 547 00:31:46,296 --> 00:31:47,976 then you cannot come in. 548 00:31:49,717 --> 00:31:53,237 How do you know I'm not on that list? 549 00:31:53,428 --> 00:31:55,428 Nobody on that list would have talked to me... 550 00:31:55,555 --> 00:31:57,115 like you did last week. 551 00:31:57,224 --> 00:31:58,864 Or not talked to me. 552 00:31:58,976 --> 00:32:00,856 Fair enough, fair enough. 553 00:32:04,482 --> 00:32:07,602 So, what do you do for laundry money? 554 00:32:07,777 --> 00:32:10,177 I'm a cyber nanny. 555 00:32:10,322 --> 00:32:12,802 What... what's that? 556 00:32:12,950 --> 00:32:15,470 I spend all day looking for pornography on the web. 557 00:32:15,619 --> 00:32:18,019 All right, say you have a ten-year-old kid... 558 00:32:18,163 --> 00:32:20,883 with an iMac and a browser, and she searches "Girlfriends"... 559 00:32:21,041 --> 00:32:23,361 and then gets lesbian mud wrestling. 560 00:32:23,503 --> 00:32:26,543 - Probably not the best thing. - But you can't avoid it. 561 00:32:26,714 --> 00:32:28,514 Like today, I ran a search for "sandbox"... 562 00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:30,793 and got "eat my box"... 563 00:32:30,927 --> 00:32:33,047 "Sandy's hot box"... 564 00:32:33,180 --> 00:32:35,820 and my favorite, "vagina beach." 565 00:32:35,974 --> 00:32:41,374 My job is to find the site and block it out. 566 00:32:41,647 --> 00:32:44,727 So, you have to look at these sex sites all day long? 567 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,860 Yeah. All day. 568 00:32:48,863 --> 00:32:50,063 Drive you crazy after a while? 569 00:32:50,156 --> 00:32:51,596 Yeah. Some days I think... 570 00:32:51,699 --> 00:32:53,619 that if I have to look at another blowjob I'll scream. 571 00:32:53,743 --> 00:32:57,543 God, yes. Same thing happens to me. 572 00:33:02,001 --> 00:33:02,241 What, you're going on a date with her? 573 00:33:02,252 --> 00:33:03,732 What, you're going on a date with her? 574 00:33:03,837 --> 00:33:06,477 Isn't that kind of getting in the way of your thing? 575 00:33:06,632 --> 00:33:09,712 - No, not at all. - So you're not into her? 576 00:33:09,886 --> 00:33:11,286 Oh, I'm totally into her. 577 00:33:11,345 --> 00:33:12,665 So how can you not want to fuck her? 578 00:33:12,763 --> 00:33:14,483 Listen, you haven't heard a word I said. 579 00:33:14,598 --> 00:33:18,318 It's perfect the way it is, and she's amazing... 580 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,680 and we are totally connecting... 581 00:33:19,771 --> 00:33:22,691 and it's not a sexual thing, not for either of us. 582 00:33:22,857 --> 00:33:25,377 Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. 583 00:33:25,527 --> 00:33:27,807 You can pass off two dates without a kiss as old-fashioned. 584 00:33:27,946 --> 00:33:29,186 You go three, and you're a homo. 585 00:33:30,825 --> 00:33:33,305 Yeah, yeah, I can see that. 586 00:33:33,452 --> 00:33:35,852 Just got off the phone with the guy. 587 00:33:35,996 --> 00:33:38,756 There's a preliminary report... a date happening on Thursday. 588 00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:41,637 - What? Different girl? - Same girl. Different date. 589 00:33:41,794 --> 00:33:46,114 He is taking her on... the bus. 590 00:33:47,884 --> 00:33:49,444 On the bus where? 591 00:33:50,888 --> 00:33:54,608 Nowhere. That's the point. 592 00:33:54,808 --> 00:33:58,008 He just gets on the bus and goes around. 593 00:33:58,188 --> 00:34:00,428 Mmm. 594 00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:03,980 If you want to get laid... 595 00:34:04,069 --> 00:34:06,109 you take a chick to a fancy restaurant. 596 00:34:06,238 --> 00:34:07,678 But if you really like her... 597 00:34:07,781 --> 00:34:09,301 you take her to your secret place. 598 00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:10,927 That's the bus for Matt. 599 00:34:11,034 --> 00:34:13,234 Yeah. Mine's the post office. 600 00:34:13,369 --> 00:34:15,329 I don't understand. So he's gonna get laid? 601 00:34:15,456 --> 00:34:17,056 - Why ask me questions? - I'll take Thursday. 602 00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:19,447 I like to take girls there, and I say, "Let's go postal." 603 00:34:19,585 --> 00:34:21,225 - Shut up! - Shut up! 604 00:34:26,342 --> 00:34:28,062 Are you gonna be OK with this guy? 605 00:34:28,177 --> 00:34:29,657 Yeah. He's great. 606 00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:33,163 - I'll be waiting up for you. - No, you won't. 607 00:34:33,350 --> 00:34:34,470 Oh, really? 608 00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:36,319 If I bring this guy home tonight... 609 00:34:36,437 --> 00:34:38,677 you better make yourself scarce, and I'm not joking, Sam. 610 00:34:38,772 --> 00:34:41,572 - OK. Bye. - Bye. 611 00:34:48,116 --> 00:34:51,796 about chemistry 612 00:34:51,953 --> 00:34:54,913 from here 613 00:34:55,082 --> 00:34:57,242 to want it 614 00:34:57,375 --> 00:34:59,895 than I wanted to be 615 00:35:00,045 --> 00:35:03,405 my mission was clear 616 00:35:03,590 --> 00:35:07,470 I conducted experiments 617 00:35:07,679 --> 00:35:10,839 by the things I learned 618 00:35:10,974 --> 00:35:13,614 619 00:35:13,769 --> 00:35:15,449 good intentions 620 00:35:15,562 --> 00:35:19,922 to get burned 621 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:23,951 622 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:27,755 everything you know? 623 00:35:27,950 --> 00:35:31,270 wonder what you'd do to me 624 00:35:31,453 --> 00:35:33,773 - There you go! - Ha! All right! 625 00:35:33,915 --> 00:35:35,835 Hmm. Told you. 626 00:35:35,958 --> 00:35:37,798 So, did any other guys ever take you on a bus? 627 00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:40,238 Well, there... 628 00:35:40,338 --> 00:35:43,778 there was a guy who got us kicked off a bus... 629 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:46,207 and another guy who tried to steal a bus... 630 00:35:46,345 --> 00:35:49,145 and then the most recent guy I dated... 631 00:35:49,306 --> 00:35:53,266 went through a phase where he actually thought he was a bus. 632 00:35:56,105 --> 00:35:58,465 Where do you find guys like that? 633 00:35:58,607 --> 00:36:02,167 I don't. I don't. They just... 634 00:36:02,362 --> 00:36:03,682 They always find me. 635 00:36:03,780 --> 00:36:05,460 They always find me. 636 00:36:06,824 --> 00:36:09,424 What about you? Any criminal records, addictions... 637 00:36:09,578 --> 00:36:11,458 or weird little secrets I should know about right now? 638 00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:13,820 No. 639 00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:17,438 Yeah. I didn't think so. 640 00:36:29,724 --> 00:36:31,684 You're pretty up-front about yourself. 641 00:36:31,810 --> 00:36:35,010 I have no reason not to be honest, I guess. 642 00:36:35,189 --> 00:36:38,029 Yeah. It always catches up to you if you're not. 643 00:36:38,192 --> 00:36:40,152 Yeah. That's the way it is with me. 644 00:36:40,277 --> 00:36:42,037 I mean, was with me. 645 00:36:42,155 --> 00:36:46,555 Back in my more youthful, wasted, younger days. 646 00:36:46,784 --> 00:36:48,624 This is me. 647 00:36:51,290 --> 00:36:54,050 I've never had so much fun on a bus before. 648 00:36:55,627 --> 00:36:56,747 Me, too. 649 00:37:12,270 --> 00:37:14,310 Good night. 650 00:37:16,566 --> 00:37:18,686 Good night. 651 00:37:18,819 --> 00:37:21,819 I'll... Unh! Whoa! Aah! 652 00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:25,990 - Ow. - W-watch that. 653 00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:29,562 - I'll talk to you soon, OK? - OK. 654 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,787 Very soon. Like tomorrow. I'll give you a call. 655 00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:34,277 - Great. - Bye! 656 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,219 Bye. 657 00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:43,700 - Like, a high five? - No. More like a "Gimme five." 658 00:37:43,971 --> 00:37:46,011 He's got a girlfriend. 659 00:37:46,139 --> 00:37:48,659 Some guys are just different about this stuff, you know. 660 00:37:48,809 --> 00:37:52,969 Mm-hmm. Gay is different to some people. 661 00:37:53,148 --> 00:37:56,188 Well, I trust him. That means a lot. 662 00:37:56,359 --> 00:37:58,559 Is this anything like the last guy you trusted... 663 00:37:58,653 --> 00:38:01,653 who stole half your jewelry and sold it on eBay? 664 00:38:01,824 --> 00:38:04,824 Apparently, speed is a very expensive drug, Sam. 665 00:38:04,993 --> 00:38:06,793 Dude, you are so gone. 666 00:38:06,912 --> 00:38:08,992 No, I love hanging out with him. He's amazing. 667 00:38:09,123 --> 00:38:11,483 I'm treated like an equal, and we're connecting... 668 00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:13,665 - It sucks, doesn't it? - Yeah, it does. 669 00:38:13,795 --> 00:38:15,595 It totally sucks. 670 00:38:15,672 --> 00:38:17,232 Why doesn't he just want to have sex with me? 671 00:38:17,757 --> 00:38:19,637 So, how did it go last night, champ? 672 00:38:19,759 --> 00:38:21,359 What? 673 00:38:21,469 --> 00:38:23,629 With your date. Did you hit that or what? 674 00:38:23,764 --> 00:38:25,044 What... what... 675 00:38:26,391 --> 00:38:28,511 - What are you talking about? 676 00:38:28,644 --> 00:38:31,524 Nothing. Whoo. That was weird. 677 00:38:31,689 --> 00:38:33,649 No more drugs pour moi. 678 00:38:35,984 --> 00:38:37,784 What the fuck is going on? 679 00:38:42,241 --> 00:38:44,161 You guys put up a web page about me? 680 00:38:44,285 --> 00:38:46,765 Web page? Please. Be more insulting, man. 681 00:38:46,913 --> 00:38:49,633 This is a complicated betting pool. 682 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,080 You guys can't make this public. 683 00:38:52,169 --> 00:38:56,409 This is not something that I want everyone to know about. 684 00:38:56,633 --> 00:38:58,553 It's a little too late, dude. 685 00:38:58,676 --> 00:39:03,236 Today's bets. Originally, the spread favored day 26... 686 00:39:03,472 --> 00:39:05,912 but with all the dating action in Mattland these days... 687 00:39:06,059 --> 00:39:08,019 I'm gonna recommend day 23. 688 00:39:09,396 --> 00:39:10,676 Someone just placed another bet. 689 00:39:10,773 --> 00:39:13,613 I had one come in all the way from Bangladesh. 690 00:39:13,776 --> 00:39:17,136 Little Haji just loves to roll the dice. 691 00:39:17,322 --> 00:39:19,122 You guys have advertisers? 692 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,720 A friend of mine started up a business... 693 00:39:22,910 --> 00:39:24,670 and I gave him a good price. 694 00:39:24,787 --> 00:39:26,307 A porn site! 695 00:39:29,084 --> 00:39:30,604 Oh, shit! 696 00:39:39,261 --> 00:39:41,661 697 00:39:41,764 --> 00:39:45,564 698 00:39:45,768 --> 00:39:48,128 Hey! You know where Erica Sutton is? 699 00:39:48,271 --> 00:39:50,151 - Yeah. She's... - Where? 700 00:39:50,273 --> 00:39:52,873 You're that guy. The abstinence guy. 701 00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,787 Hey, it's the abstinence guy! 702 00:40:02,787 --> 00:40:04,667 What is this, some kind of a bet not to sleep with me? 703 00:40:04,788 --> 00:40:06,548 No, this isn't a bet. Let me explain. 704 00:40:06,624 --> 00:40:08,304 Don't explain. You don't have to. 705 00:40:08,417 --> 00:40:11,817 I just read about it over the fucking internet. 706 00:40:12,005 --> 00:40:14,965 Erica! Erica, I should have told you about this. 707 00:40:15,132 --> 00:40:17,292 I thought you'd think I was a freak. I'm sorry. 708 00:40:17,427 --> 00:40:19,627 I can't believe the load of bullshit that you fed to me... 709 00:40:19,763 --> 00:40:20,843 about telling the damn truth. 710 00:40:20,931 --> 00:40:23,571 l... I did this for myself. 711 00:40:23,726 --> 00:40:26,366 I didn't think anybody else knew about it. I swear to God. 712 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,160 Plus, if I told you, you'd think I was a sex addict. 713 00:40:29,314 --> 00:40:30,434 - Are you? - No! 714 00:40:30,525 --> 00:40:31,965 Then what is the point? 715 00:40:32,068 --> 00:40:34,028 What is the point of this whole thing? 716 00:40:34,153 --> 00:40:37,233 I just wanted to see what it would be like... 717 00:40:37,407 --> 00:40:39,407 without all the shit that sex brings to the picture. 718 00:40:39,534 --> 00:40:41,734 Oh, so I'm like some science experiment? 719 00:40:41,828 --> 00:40:44,988 No! l... Look, I was going through a really rough time... 720 00:40:45,165 --> 00:40:46,765 and I just wanted to stop. 721 00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:48,795 I wanted to stop thinking about sex. 722 00:40:48,919 --> 00:40:50,399 Not that I was thinking about sex all the time... 723 00:40:50,504 --> 00:40:53,824 I just wanted to stop. 724 00:40:54,008 --> 00:40:57,688 And the thing is, it's working. It's really working. 725 00:40:57,846 --> 00:40:59,846 I'm glad it's working for one of us. 726 00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:10,037 You stupid, stupid, silly little person! 727 00:41:10,192 --> 00:41:12,392 Why did you have to go and tell everyone? 728 00:41:12,528 --> 00:41:15,248 Look, if you're so ashamed, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. 729 00:41:15,406 --> 00:41:18,406 I'm not ashamed! I'm embarrassed! 730 00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:21,056 Then quit, Matt. Just quit. 731 00:41:21,204 --> 00:41:23,044 Nobody thinks you'll finish this thing. 732 00:41:23,164 --> 00:41:24,604 I'm not fucking quitting. 733 00:41:24,707 --> 00:41:29,507 Everything was going great until you had to... 734 00:41:29,755 --> 00:41:31,915 I stopped having sex... 735 00:41:32,049 --> 00:41:33,849 I'm totally falling for Erica... 736 00:41:33,968 --> 00:41:36,248 and I'm finally over Nicole. 737 00:41:36,387 --> 00:41:37,467 You really think you're over her? 738 00:41:37,555 --> 00:41:40,155 Fuck, yeah! Bitch. 739 00:41:40,308 --> 00:41:44,668 Hmm. I ran into her and her fianc� last night. 740 00:41:50,819 --> 00:41:52,979 What was he like? 741 00:41:54,824 --> 00:41:57,464 He... he parties with a friend of mine. 742 00:41:57,575 --> 00:41:59,375 Apparently, the dude works late every night. 743 00:41:59,496 --> 00:42:00,536 That's what I heard. 744 00:42:02,707 --> 00:42:03,787 So? 745 00:42:03,874 --> 00:42:07,074 He works late every night... a different girl every night. 746 00:42:07,253 --> 00:42:08,973 Not that it should matter to you. 747 00:42:09,089 --> 00:42:11,089 No. Why would it matter to me? 748 00:42:11,216 --> 00:42:12,856 Yeah. 749 00:42:17,556 --> 00:42:19,956 My wife and I have been married for eight years. 750 00:42:20,100 --> 00:42:22,860 I love her very much. 751 00:42:23,020 --> 00:42:27,260 I... consider myself a lucky person. 752 00:42:27,483 --> 00:42:29,803 That being said... 753 00:42:29,944 --> 00:42:31,704 this woman... 754 00:42:31,821 --> 00:42:35,941 does not put out at all. 755 00:42:36,117 --> 00:42:38,037 I mean, at all. 756 00:42:38,161 --> 00:42:40,481 I mean, we used to have sex everywhere. 757 00:42:40,622 --> 00:42:43,182 We used to have sex in this office. 758 00:42:43,334 --> 00:42:47,374 We had sex on this floor. We had sex on this desk. 759 00:42:47,588 --> 00:42:50,788 - On that chair. - OK. I get it, I get it. 760 00:42:50,966 --> 00:42:53,086 But now, I have to practically beg for it. 761 00:42:53,219 --> 00:42:56,899 I mean, it was kind of hot for the first eight months. 762 00:42:57,098 --> 00:42:59,058 The chasing after her... 763 00:42:59,183 --> 00:43:03,143 surprising her with my sexy new underwear. 764 00:43:03,355 --> 00:43:08,035 But now, I feel a little like a... 765 00:43:08,277 --> 00:43:10,517 like I'm a pervert. 766 00:43:12,866 --> 00:43:15,346 I heard about the vow... 767 00:43:15,492 --> 00:43:17,372 and I think it's genius. 768 00:43:17,495 --> 00:43:19,375 Thanks. 769 00:43:19,497 --> 00:43:20,937 I mean, this is the perfect way for me... 770 00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:23,681 to regain the power in my relationship. 771 00:43:23,835 --> 00:43:25,235 See, I take the vow. 772 00:43:25,338 --> 00:43:28,898 I tell her I'm gonna do without for a few months. 773 00:43:29,091 --> 00:43:32,451 I bet in half the time she's going to be begging for it. 774 00:43:32,636 --> 00:43:33,836 Don't you think? What do you think? 775 00:43:33,930 --> 00:43:37,730 I think you don't know what you're getting yourself into. 776 00:43:42,855 --> 00:43:46,175 Hey, put that away. Books get you in trouble around here. 777 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,000 - I can't work right now. - So go home. 778 00:43:49,154 --> 00:43:52,434 - I need the money. - So work. 779 00:43:52,616 --> 00:43:54,776 It all reminds me of Matt. 780 00:43:54,911 --> 00:43:58,631 Even "donkey lovers"? 781 00:44:01,542 --> 00:44:04,022 Call him or leave. You're bugging me. 782 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,120 783 00:44:09,301 --> 00:44:12,901 784 00:44:13,055 --> 00:44:15,455 out of my head 785 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:20,160 what I came for 786 00:44:22,731 --> 00:44:25,811 787 00:44:25,985 --> 00:44:29,705 788 00:44:29,906 --> 00:44:33,106 you're the best thing 789 00:44:33,242 --> 00:44:36,122 of this place 790 00:44:36,288 --> 00:44:39,928 791 00:44:40,126 --> 00:44:42,726 - How's the chicken? - Good. 792 00:44:46,006 --> 00:44:50,246 793 00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:52,390 Why is this so weird? 794 00:44:54,933 --> 00:44:56,933 If I told you, "Don't think about the color red..." 795 00:44:57,060 --> 00:44:58,180 what would you think about? 796 00:45:00,106 --> 00:45:01,186 Sex. 797 00:45:02,900 --> 00:45:04,820 OK, so we're both sitting here thinking about sex... 798 00:45:04,943 --> 00:45:06,383 because we can't think about sex... 799 00:45:06,488 --> 00:45:07,928 because we can't talk about sex... 800 00:45:08,031 --> 00:45:10,911 and we certainly cannot have sex. 801 00:45:11,075 --> 00:45:14,435 It's like, so what are we doing here? 802 00:45:14,621 --> 00:45:17,141 You know, if I didn't have this vow thing... 803 00:45:17,290 --> 00:45:19,050 I'd kiss you right now. 804 00:45:27,010 --> 00:45:29,690 - Thanks. - Thanks. 805 00:45:40,815 --> 00:45:42,175 You OK? 806 00:45:42,276 --> 00:45:44,396 I'm fine. 807 00:45:44,527 --> 00:45:46,967 - Are you sure? - I'll be right back. 808 00:45:47,114 --> 00:45:49,874 - Are you... - Yeah. 809 00:46:01,171 --> 00:46:02,531 Sir! Sir! 810 00:46:03,881 --> 00:46:06,681 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 811 00:46:06,843 --> 00:46:08,603 Aah! 812 00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:12,520 - Aah! Aah! 813 00:46:12,683 --> 00:46:16,723 Oh! Aah! I'm OK. 814 00:46:19,023 --> 00:46:21,423 Thank you. Thank you. I'm OK. Thank you. 815 00:46:21,568 --> 00:46:22,688 - Matt. - I'm OK. 816 00:46:24,946 --> 00:46:26,546 Hi. 817 00:46:26,656 --> 00:46:28,976 Nicole. How are you? 818 00:46:29,117 --> 00:46:32,597 Well, better than you at the moment. 819 00:46:32,787 --> 00:46:36,227 - Yeah. Yeah. 820 00:46:38,001 --> 00:46:41,361 This is, um, this is... 821 00:46:41,546 --> 00:46:42,946 This is Erica. 822 00:46:43,049 --> 00:46:44,689 Nicole. 823 00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,600 David Brokaw. Hi. 824 00:46:48,805 --> 00:46:51,405 I'm Matt. I'm Matt. 825 00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:54,559 Oh, yes. Yes, of course. 826 00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:58,128 Matt, you work at one of those dot coms, don't you? 827 00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:00,275 Yes. Yes, I do. 828 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,520 David's the youngest executive vice president... 829 00:47:04,739 --> 00:47:06,579 at Morgan Stanley. 830 00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:08,579 Yeah, well, I'm the youngest... 831 00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:09,781 Yeah, hey, It's all good, Matt. 832 00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:13,590 Listen, honey, you want to give it one more try? 833 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:14,910 It's good to see you. 834 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:16,719 Yeah, you, too. 835 00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:21,502 Bye. 836 00:47:27,638 --> 00:47:29,878 She's the real reason you took that vow. 837 00:47:32,102 --> 00:47:34,542 No. She's just an ex. 838 00:47:36,481 --> 00:47:38,761 The vow is something completely separate from her. 839 00:47:38,901 --> 00:47:41,381 You're a really bad liar. 840 00:47:41,528 --> 00:47:43,248 I get that a lot. 841 00:47:45,533 --> 00:47:46,733 Look, I know I should've told you about her. 842 00:47:46,826 --> 00:47:47,946 Yeah, you should've. 843 00:47:48,035 --> 00:47:49,835 But I guess it's hard for you to get the truth out. 844 00:47:55,460 --> 00:47:56,740 Shit. 845 00:47:59,756 --> 00:48:02,036 Hey, how about I quit the vow? 846 00:48:02,175 --> 00:48:04,135 I mean, honestly, I don't care about the vow. 847 00:48:04,261 --> 00:48:05,861 Oh, sure, now St. Matt wants a piece. 848 00:48:05,970 --> 00:48:08,410 - No, that's not it at all. - You don't want me? 849 00:48:08,557 --> 00:48:11,197 No, of course I want you. It's just... 850 00:48:14,062 --> 00:48:16,422 I care about the vow, and... 851 00:48:16,566 --> 00:48:19,126 - You do? - Yeah, I do. 852 00:48:19,278 --> 00:48:21,878 And her? 853 00:48:24,282 --> 00:48:25,402 I don't know. 854 00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:35,806 I'll tell you what. You want me? 855 00:48:35,962 --> 00:48:37,402 Yeah. 856 00:48:37,505 --> 00:48:39,465 Then finish your stupid vow. 857 00:48:39,590 --> 00:48:40,670 And if you finish it... 858 00:48:40,759 --> 00:48:43,359 then maybe we can talk about being together. Maybe. 859 00:48:57,944 --> 00:49:01,224 I've given up sex, because I just... 860 00:49:01,364 --> 00:49:04,084 I just want to connect with people on a deeper level. 861 00:49:04,241 --> 00:49:05,481 - Really? - Yeah. 862 00:49:05,577 --> 00:49:06,657 Is it working? 863 00:49:06,744 --> 00:49:09,104 Working? Of course it's working! 864 00:49:09,205 --> 00:49:13,205 It's like this incredible high. Can you not feel that? 865 00:49:13,418 --> 00:49:15,858 Just sitting here talking with you... 866 00:49:16,005 --> 00:49:18,525 I'm mind orgasmic right now. 867 00:49:18,674 --> 00:49:21,074 Mind orgasmic. 868 00:49:21,218 --> 00:49:23,618 Yeah. 869 00:49:23,762 --> 00:49:26,042 Hmm. 870 00:49:34,399 --> 00:49:35,799 Oh, God Ohh 871 00:49:59,677 --> 00:50:00,797 We need to talk. 872 00:50:00,885 --> 00:50:02,085 I can't. I gotta go. 873 00:50:02,179 --> 00:50:04,859 l... I understand what you're doing, Matt. 874 00:50:05,015 --> 00:50:06,615 - You do? - Mm-hmm. 875 00:50:06,726 --> 00:50:09,926 Women have been doing this since, well, forever... 876 00:50:10,104 --> 00:50:12,064 so we know all about the power. 877 00:50:12,189 --> 00:50:14,389 See, us having the power, that's part of the system... 878 00:50:14,526 --> 00:50:17,086 and by you taking the power, you're fucking with the system. 879 00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:20,637 And I think you see why we can't let that happen. 880 00:50:20,824 --> 00:50:23,304 You bet on today. This is about money. 881 00:50:23,452 --> 00:50:26,292 Ah-ah. Signed and notarized commitment... 882 00:50:26,455 --> 00:50:28,415 to donate all proceeds to charity. 883 00:50:28,540 --> 00:50:32,580 So you want to have sex with me to regain "the power"? 884 00:50:32,795 --> 00:50:35,955 We're willing to do whatever is necessary... 885 00:50:36,132 --> 00:50:37,572 to get the job done. 886 00:50:37,675 --> 00:50:40,315 Why do you keep saying "we"? 887 00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:45,327 Oh, fuck. 888 00:50:45,434 --> 00:50:49,114 Now, we think that this offer is more than fair. 889 00:50:49,312 --> 00:50:52,112 Can I talk to you for a second? 890 00:50:52,274 --> 00:50:55,194 - Excuse me. What? - I don't think I can do this. 891 00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:57,242 Andie, we talked about this already, OK? 892 00:50:57,363 --> 00:50:58,883 I know, but just look at him. 893 00:50:58,990 --> 00:51:00,350 I mean, he used to be kind of cute... 894 00:51:00,450 --> 00:51:02,930 but now he's just twitchy. 895 00:51:03,078 --> 00:51:06,638 Shh. It'll be over in, like, two seconds, OK? 896 00:51:06,832 --> 00:51:09,192 Would you care to join us, hmm? 897 00:51:10,502 --> 00:51:12,782 Mmm. 898 00:51:12,922 --> 00:51:15,202 Oh, God. Not the tongues. 899 00:51:16,717 --> 00:51:18,917 Oh, my God. I gotta go. 900 00:51:25,351 --> 00:51:27,031 Yesterday was fine. 901 00:51:27,144 --> 00:51:29,944 I mean, physically speaking, I was fine. 902 00:51:30,106 --> 00:51:33,706 But today... I'm not fine. 903 00:51:33,902 --> 00:51:35,262 This morning at the coffee shop... 904 00:51:35,362 --> 00:51:37,802 they were sponsoring hot women wearing no bras day. 905 00:51:41,743 --> 00:51:42,823 Whoo. 906 00:51:42,912 --> 00:51:44,272 Hot, hot women wearing no bras? 907 00:51:44,372 --> 00:51:46,212 I mean, like hot, hot women. 908 00:51:46,332 --> 00:51:48,932 There were 48 breasts at the Cafe Trieste this morning. 909 00:52:07,939 --> 00:52:10,299 910 00:52:10,442 --> 00:52:13,522 I know this phase. It passes. 911 00:52:13,695 --> 00:52:15,655 But why does this have to happen now? 912 00:52:15,780 --> 00:52:19,020 I mean, yesterday Erica tells me I have to finish the vow... 913 00:52:19,202 --> 00:52:21,162 and today I'm slammed by sex. Why? 914 00:52:21,287 --> 00:52:22,767 - Look, you've gone 26 days? - Mm-hmm. 915 00:52:22,872 --> 00:52:25,152 - That's very admirable. - Yeah, thanks. 916 00:52:25,249 --> 00:52:26,769 But you can't come to mom and dad's tonight. 917 00:52:26,876 --> 00:52:29,076 If I don't go, they'll kill me. 918 00:52:29,212 --> 00:52:30,412 You don't want them to see you like this. 919 00:52:30,505 --> 00:52:32,345 I don't want me to see me like this... 920 00:52:32,423 --> 00:52:35,023 but if there's one place I'm safe it's at home, right? 921 00:52:35,176 --> 00:52:37,536 - Mmm. - Right? 922 00:52:37,846 --> 00:52:40,766 From thy bounty, through Christ, our lord. Amen. 923 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,320 So, dad, when your hip heals, will it be like normal? 924 00:52:47,439 --> 00:52:50,399 Yeah, pretty much. I can golf, ride a bike. 925 00:52:50,568 --> 00:52:51,848 He just has to be careful. 926 00:52:51,945 --> 00:52:54,425 It's amazing the things you can do now. 927 00:52:54,572 --> 00:52:56,412 You know, I'm part of a pilot program... 928 00:52:56,533 --> 00:52:57,933 that's tracking my range of motion. 929 00:52:58,034 --> 00:52:59,114 Really? 930 00:52:59,202 --> 00:53:01,522 Oh, they don't want to hear about that. 931 00:53:01,663 --> 00:53:03,383 No, no. They want to see what effect... 932 00:53:03,457 --> 00:53:04,937 the operation's had on my sex life. 933 00:53:05,042 --> 00:53:06,682 Sorry. 934 00:53:06,794 --> 00:53:08,954 Do we have to talk about this at dinner? 935 00:53:09,088 --> 00:53:11,368 Bev, we're all adults here, aren't we? 936 00:53:11,466 --> 00:53:13,506 Isn't sex a God-given natural part of life? 937 00:53:13,634 --> 00:53:15,154 Don't start, dad. 938 00:53:15,261 --> 00:53:18,581 Why not talk about it? I think a good sexual appetite... 939 00:53:18,764 --> 00:53:22,484 is a real, normal, healthy part of being a man. 940 00:53:22,686 --> 00:53:24,966 And a woman. 941 00:53:25,104 --> 00:53:27,224 Who wants more beans? I do. 942 00:53:27,358 --> 00:53:29,958 They're grown men. They're old enough to know... 943 00:53:30,110 --> 00:53:32,230 that their mother's machine is still running hot. 944 00:53:33,447 --> 00:53:35,687 Walter, this isn't the moment. 945 00:53:35,825 --> 00:53:38,345 Oh, no. Let me show you people. 946 00:53:39,954 --> 00:53:41,874 See... 947 00:53:43,083 --> 00:53:45,003 they sent me this sheet. 948 00:53:47,546 --> 00:53:50,266 A whole bunch of different positions on it. 949 00:53:50,424 --> 00:53:51,904 I just check off the ones I can do... 950 00:53:52,009 --> 00:53:53,089 like this one here. 951 00:53:53,176 --> 00:53:56,096 I can do that, so I check the box. 952 00:53:58,057 --> 00:54:01,177 Hey, here's an old standby. 953 00:54:01,353 --> 00:54:04,353 But, see, I can't do that because of my hip... 954 00:54:04,522 --> 00:54:06,762 so, you know, I don't check the box. 955 00:54:06,899 --> 00:54:11,059 Bev, have we ever tried this before? 956 00:54:11,279 --> 00:54:15,759 Walter, how could you forget the Maui Hilton? 957 00:54:15,993 --> 00:54:20,353 In the shower. I nearly killed myself. 958 00:54:20,581 --> 00:54:22,941 Yes. 959 00:54:30,466 --> 00:54:31,746 Damn it. 960 00:54:36,723 --> 00:54:37,883 Surprise inspection. 961 00:54:44,982 --> 00:54:46,382 What the hell is that thing? 962 00:54:48,445 --> 00:54:50,605 It's a special light that allows me to see... 963 00:54:50,739 --> 00:54:53,579 if any fluids have been liberated. 964 00:55:15,515 --> 00:55:17,075 Keep up the good work. 965 00:55:43,754 --> 00:55:44,874 Hmm. 966 00:55:47,091 --> 00:55:48,531 Mmm. 967 00:55:50,928 --> 00:55:53,688 Ohh. These are good. 968 00:55:58,311 --> 00:55:59,431 Is... 969 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,200 Is he twisting her nipple? 970 00:56:05,652 --> 00:56:09,012 Jeez, that's an oversight. I'll fix that. 971 00:56:09,197 --> 00:56:12,397 I know what you mean. I've been surfing for porn all week. 972 00:56:12,576 --> 00:56:14,736 - What am I doing wrong? - Huh? 973 00:56:14,870 --> 00:56:17,070 I mean, not only is my wife not begging for it... 974 00:56:17,205 --> 00:56:19,205 she's not... 975 00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:20,933 I've never seen her so happy. 976 00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:23,764 And today. Did you see it's the warmest day of the year? 977 00:56:23,921 --> 00:56:25,721 Yeah, it's spring. 978 00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:27,240 It's spring, Goddamn it... 979 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,222 and they're... look at 'em. They're all wearing... 980 00:56:29,345 --> 00:56:32,065 their little summer dresses. Just... 981 00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:35,260 Hmm? 982 00:56:35,434 --> 00:56:38,274 What am I supposed to do now, vow boy, huh? 983 00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:41,337 Fix this. 984 00:56:48,198 --> 00:56:49,278 Damn it! 985 00:56:56,873 --> 00:56:57,993 Come on. 986 00:56:59,209 --> 00:57:02,409 - What's up, dog? - Hey, what's up, dog? 987 00:57:02,588 --> 00:57:06,108 - What are you doing? - Just, uh, freshenin' up. 988 00:57:12,348 --> 00:57:15,108 I'm tired of waiting for things to happen. 989 00:57:15,269 --> 00:57:16,709 And my money's on today. 990 00:57:16,812 --> 00:57:18,612 Yeah, that's great. So what the fuck is that? 991 00:57:18,730 --> 00:57:21,930 This is what the American Medical Association... 992 00:57:22,067 --> 00:57:24,787 refers to as... Viagra. 993 00:57:24,945 --> 00:57:27,585 Well, I'm not gonna let you do that, bro. 994 00:57:27,740 --> 00:57:30,660 Well, you can be bought... bro. 995 00:57:32,620 --> 00:57:33,740 - Yeah. - Yeah. 996 00:57:42,256 --> 00:57:44,136 Ohh. 997 00:57:44,258 --> 00:57:46,818 Who's that? What's that? 998 00:57:46,970 --> 00:57:50,850 Oh, God, that's that new girl in tech support. 999 00:57:51,057 --> 00:57:52,937 Did you know that regular ejaculation... 1000 00:57:53,059 --> 00:57:55,899 is a preventative against prostate cancer? 1001 00:57:57,355 --> 00:58:01,075 So, is it that you hate your penis? 1002 00:58:01,276 --> 00:58:04,236 Because, I mean, I personally feel like that's... 1003 00:58:04,404 --> 00:58:06,204 God, that's one of the best relationships I have. 1004 00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:09,160 Why do you think they call it the little head? 1005 00:58:09,284 --> 00:58:10,844 I'll tell you why. 1006 00:58:10,952 --> 00:58:12,832 Because he has ideas. 1007 00:58:19,838 --> 00:58:20,958 l... 1008 00:58:24,092 --> 00:58:26,092 - Nice going, dumb ass. - What? 1009 00:58:26,220 --> 00:58:27,420 Hey, Jerry. 1010 00:58:28,972 --> 00:58:31,812 Chow mein. New girl in tech. Very hot. 1011 00:58:31,975 --> 00:58:34,855 Ah... ah... ah. Mmm. 1012 00:58:36,230 --> 00:58:39,030 Ahh. This tastes funny. 1013 00:58:39,150 --> 00:58:42,150 Not bad, just, you know, funny. 1014 00:58:44,030 --> 00:58:46,990 Ohh. Mmm. 1015 00:58:58,338 --> 00:58:59,418 Hey, Jerry. 1016 00:59:06,345 --> 00:59:08,225 Oh. 1017 00:59:08,348 --> 00:59:09,468 Ohh. 1018 00:59:12,143 --> 00:59:14,703 l... Excuse me. I have to get... 1019 00:59:16,398 --> 00:59:18,918 - Uh... - Do you need this? 1020 00:59:19,068 --> 00:59:21,428 - No. 1021 00:59:24,866 --> 00:59:26,786 l... I'm so thirsty. 1022 00:59:26,867 --> 00:59:28,627 - Are you OK? - Mm-hmm. 1023 00:59:38,881 --> 00:59:40,281 Captain Blueballs. 1024 00:59:40,382 --> 00:59:42,742 Been looking for you since lunch. 1025 00:59:42,884 --> 00:59:45,764 I was just, uh- maintaining these... 1026 00:59:45,888 --> 00:59:48,248 Yeah. Matt, look at yourself. 1027 00:59:48,391 --> 00:59:49,671 Your life is shit. 1028 00:59:50,894 --> 00:59:54,094 You're hiding out In a fuckin' storage room. 1029 00:59:54,230 --> 00:59:56,230 OK, here's how it's gonna go. 1030 01:00:02,781 --> 01:00:04,661 You've already won. 1031 01:00:04,784 --> 01:00:07,904 You've already proven everyone wrong. 1032 01:00:08,079 --> 01:00:09,839 Now it's serious. 1033 01:00:09,915 --> 01:00:11,235 The pot's up to eighteen thousand. 1034 01:00:11,333 --> 01:00:13,013 That's a lot of money, isn't it? 1035 01:00:13,126 --> 01:00:14,686 - It's your vow. 1036 01:00:14,794 --> 01:00:16,554 It should be your money. 1037 01:00:18,340 --> 01:00:19,860 So I'm gonna split it with you. 1038 01:00:19,967 --> 01:00:22,447 That's right. 1039 01:00:22,594 --> 01:00:25,314 And all you have to do is take the dive. 1040 01:00:26,932 --> 01:00:29,612 Think about it... nine thousand dollars. 1041 01:00:29,768 --> 01:00:31,208 Nine large. 1042 01:00:32,564 --> 01:00:34,324 Just take this. 1043 01:00:35,942 --> 01:00:39,262 Uh-oh. You like her. Now we're talkin'. 1044 01:00:39,446 --> 01:00:41,926 - She's something, isn't she? 1045 01:00:42,073 --> 01:00:45,793 Take her into the bathroom and get on with your life. 1046 01:01:00,344 --> 01:01:02,544 Yes. Yes. 1047 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:07,680 1048 01:01:07,767 --> 01:01:09,687 No, no, no. No no. He can't do this. 1049 01:01:09,812 --> 01:01:11,972 I want to talk to him. 1050 01:01:12,106 --> 01:01:13,586 Matt, don't do it! 1051 01:01:14,859 --> 01:01:16,379 We need you, Matt 1052 01:01:16,486 --> 01:01:19,766 Matt, don't do it 1053 01:01:19,947 --> 01:01:21,267 Think about the little guy, Matt 1054 01:01:21,366 --> 01:01:22,766 Don't think about that Think about me 1055 01:01:22,868 --> 01:01:25,188 - Huh? Think about me! - Matt! 1056 01:01:25,328 --> 01:01:27,448 No, no, no, no. 1057 01:01:27,581 --> 01:01:29,901 Get out of here! Get out of here! 1058 01:01:30,041 --> 01:01:32,521 Matt, this is important! I'm going to go in there. 1059 01:01:32,669 --> 01:01:34,309 - I will throw down. - Come on! 1060 01:01:34,421 --> 01:01:35,781 Yeah. Fire in the hole. 1061 01:01:35,882 --> 01:01:37,002 I'm going to give you until the count of three. 1062 01:01:37,090 --> 01:01:39,370 Let's rock and roll. Aah! 1063 01:01:39,510 --> 01:01:40,950 You understand why I had to do that? 1064 01:02:05,538 --> 01:02:11,378 Aah. Ahh... 1065 01:02:11,670 --> 01:02:13,990 - Jerry? 1066 01:02:14,131 --> 01:02:18,971 Uh, Jerry's not here right now. May I take a message? 1067 01:02:22,139 --> 01:02:25,739 What about the vow, Jerry? 1068 01:02:25,934 --> 01:02:31,214 I tried. l... I didn't... I tried. I really... 1069 01:02:38,239 --> 01:02:40,919 It just... it just hit me all at once. 1070 01:02:41,076 --> 01:02:42,996 I mean, I've jerked off three times since lunch. 1071 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:44,880 I still have this fucking hard-on. 1072 01:02:48,125 --> 01:02:49,965 Way to go, Mr. Anderson. 1073 01:02:50,085 --> 01:02:52,725 Two more, and you break the company record. 1074 01:02:58,970 --> 01:03:00,330 - Oh. - Aw. 1075 01:03:00,430 --> 01:03:02,230 Boo. 1076 01:03:04,101 --> 01:03:05,741 What? 1077 01:03:17,489 --> 01:03:19,009 All right. This is ridiculous. 1078 01:03:19,117 --> 01:03:21,517 - I am going in. 1079 01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:28,715 Ahh. Uhh. 1080 01:03:33,132 --> 01:03:34,292 Where is Matt? 1081 01:03:34,383 --> 01:03:36,503 Um... 1082 01:03:38,512 --> 01:03:39,952 Heh. 1083 01:03:40,056 --> 01:03:42,976 Well, I don't know. 1084 01:03:51,818 --> 01:03:52,898 He didn't do it. 1085 01:03:52,986 --> 01:03:55,226 - Yeah! 1086 01:04:11,172 --> 01:04:12,252 Hi. 1087 01:04:12,340 --> 01:04:14,860 I know I shouldn't be here... 1088 01:04:15,010 --> 01:04:17,010 but I've been thinking about you a lot... 1089 01:04:17,137 --> 01:04:18,777 and I had to see you. 1090 01:04:22,018 --> 01:04:24,898 What are those, like some kind of a bribe? 1091 01:04:25,062 --> 01:04:30,302 More like... gentle persuasion. 1092 01:04:35,073 --> 01:04:37,553 Is this going to get worse before it gets better? 1093 01:04:37,701 --> 01:04:39,381 Probably, but I got to get this out... 1094 01:04:39,494 --> 01:04:41,014 before I lose my train of thought. 1095 01:04:41,122 --> 01:04:43,482 See... 1096 01:04:43,623 --> 01:04:47,663 Nicole had this... 1097 01:04:47,878 --> 01:04:50,918 special status. 1098 01:04:51,091 --> 01:04:53,211 More like a special power. 1099 01:04:53,343 --> 01:04:55,623 And I couldn't match it... 1100 01:04:55,721 --> 01:04:57,641 and I couldn't find anybody to replace it. 1101 01:04:57,764 --> 01:05:00,604 - I think I get it. - You do? 1102 01:05:02,061 --> 01:05:06,061 It's very easy to confuse a physical attraction... 1103 01:05:06,273 --> 01:05:07,953 with a real connection. 1104 01:05:08,067 --> 01:05:10,107 Yeah. Sometimes you just can't tell. 1105 01:05:10,236 --> 01:05:11,996 Well, you can tell. 1106 01:05:12,113 --> 01:05:14,113 You can tell by the kiss. 1107 01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:17,440 You know, the other stuff... the sex, "Is he hot?" 1108 01:05:17,618 --> 01:05:20,098 It doesn't matter. 1109 01:05:20,247 --> 01:05:22,887 All that matters is the kiss. 1110 01:05:25,002 --> 01:05:26,842 How do you know about me? 1111 01:05:26,962 --> 01:05:28,602 I don't. 1112 01:05:38,599 --> 01:05:41,559 I don't even know If you can feel that. 1113 01:05:43,271 --> 01:05:45,111 I can feel that. 1114 01:05:47,108 --> 01:05:48,508 Is this against the rules? 1115 01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:53,876 I'll let you be the judge of that. 1116 01:05:55,743 --> 01:05:59,263 - I'm thinking now. - I'm thinking now, too. 1117 01:05:59,455 --> 01:06:01,615 Come here. 1118 01:06:40,082 --> 01:06:45,802 1119 01:06:46,089 --> 01:06:53,409 that I have ever been 1120 01:06:53,764 --> 01:06:59,164 inside you 1121 01:06:59,436 --> 01:07:05,276 you have not seen 1122 01:07:05,568 --> 01:07:12,128 1123 01:07:12,451 --> 01:07:15,771 1124 01:07:15,954 --> 01:07:19,354 1125 01:07:19,541 --> 01:07:26,021 1126 01:07:27,925 --> 01:07:29,125 1127 01:07:33,390 --> 01:07:38,150 affect me 1128 01:07:38,394 --> 01:07:39,474 Ooh. 1129 01:07:39,563 --> 01:07:42,363 1130 01:07:42,524 --> 01:07:47,204 1131 01:07:47,447 --> 01:07:50,807 I made you set free 1132 01:07:53,118 --> 01:07:59,998 was the sound 1133 01:08:00,336 --> 01:08:05,336 1134 01:08:05,590 --> 01:08:08,910 1135 01:08:09,095 --> 01:08:11,335 1136 01:08:11,471 --> 01:08:13,151 Ohh. 1137 01:08:13,266 --> 01:08:15,506 1138 01:08:15,642 --> 01:08:20,602 1139 01:08:28,448 --> 01:08:31,848 I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? 1140 01:08:32,036 --> 01:08:34,716 Huh? Huh? 1141 01:08:36,665 --> 01:08:38,585 Mmm. 1142 01:08:44,091 --> 01:08:45,931 Good night, sweetie. 1143 01:08:46,051 --> 01:08:49,571 Oh, no. Don't go to sleep yet, because... 1144 01:08:49,763 --> 01:08:50,963 we should talk about something. 1145 01:08:51,056 --> 01:08:53,856 - Mm-hmm. - We could talk about anything. 1146 01:08:54,018 --> 01:08:55,578 We could talk about... 1147 01:08:55,686 --> 01:08:57,726 we could talk about stickers. 1148 01:08:57,854 --> 01:09:00,094 Do you like stickers? 1149 01:09:01,943 --> 01:09:03,023 Erica? 1150 01:09:34,143 --> 01:09:35,943 Matt, what are you doing? 1151 01:09:36,021 --> 01:09:38,141 The Willow and Smart people are here. 1152 01:09:38,273 --> 01:09:40,113 We're late for the presentation. Come on. 1153 01:09:49,786 --> 01:09:51,426 - Oh, my... - What the... 1154 01:09:56,876 --> 01:09:59,116 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 1155 01:09:59,212 --> 01:10:02,372 - Miss Willow. - Ohh. 1156 01:10:02,550 --> 01:10:04,110 Uhh. 1157 01:10:04,218 --> 01:10:06,818 Come on over here for a second. Um... 1158 01:10:06,971 --> 01:10:09,571 Want some camomile tea? 1159 01:10:09,723 --> 01:10:13,283 I think little Mattie is trying to say hello. 1160 01:10:13,478 --> 01:10:14,558 Oh, Jesus. 1161 01:10:14,645 --> 01:10:16,885 You might want to try some tightly-whiteys, jeans. 1162 01:10:17,024 --> 01:10:18,624 - You, go home. Now. - OK. 1163 01:10:22,404 --> 01:10:24,924 So, shall we get it on? 1164 01:10:25,074 --> 01:10:26,354 Start? 1165 01:10:28,285 --> 01:10:30,205 From a flower? 1166 01:10:34,876 --> 01:10:36,796 Like, a vibrating flower? 1167 01:10:36,919 --> 01:10:39,759 No. No, just a flower. 1168 01:10:39,923 --> 01:10:43,243 And he didn't touch you once? 1169 01:10:43,426 --> 01:10:44,866 He didn't even try to touch you? 1170 01:10:44,969 --> 01:10:46,369 No, and I so wanted him to... 1171 01:10:46,472 --> 01:10:48,312 but what we were doing was so perfect. 1172 01:10:48,432 --> 01:10:50,672 Oh, yeah, perfect... 1173 01:10:50,810 --> 01:10:52,850 the immaculate orgasm. 1174 01:10:52,979 --> 01:10:56,659 - Yes. - You are unbelievable. 1175 01:10:56,857 --> 01:11:00,577 1176 01:11:00,779 --> 01:11:05,539 1177 01:11:08,787 --> 01:11:10,067 Erica. 1178 01:11:10,163 --> 01:11:12,003 with today 1179 01:11:12,124 --> 01:11:13,404 Coming. 1180 01:11:13,459 --> 01:11:14,899 Hey, baby. 1181 01:11:15,002 --> 01:11:18,282 Oh, that's sweet. I really needed to hear that. 1182 01:11:21,634 --> 01:11:25,314 Oh, God, I must look awful. 1183 01:11:25,471 --> 01:11:26,591 Yeah. 1184 01:11:27,891 --> 01:11:30,971 Well, you don't look so great. 1185 01:11:31,144 --> 01:11:35,144 It's a long story. What are you doing here, Nicole? 1186 01:11:35,357 --> 01:11:38,157 I just... 1187 01:11:38,319 --> 01:11:40,839 needed to talk to someone. 1188 01:11:40,989 --> 01:11:42,709 Where's David? 1189 01:11:42,824 --> 01:11:45,264 I don't know. At the office, probably. 1190 01:11:45,410 --> 01:11:47,450 Working late? 1191 01:11:54,336 --> 01:11:57,816 We broke it off. It's over. 1192 01:11:58,007 --> 01:12:01,007 Or he broke it off, I don't know. 1193 01:12:01,176 --> 01:12:03,776 I made the commitment... 1194 01:12:03,930 --> 01:12:06,370 but I guess he wasn't too committed to it. 1195 01:12:06,516 --> 01:12:08,876 I'm sorry. 1196 01:12:12,606 --> 01:12:14,126 How's... 1197 01:12:16,192 --> 01:12:17,312 Emily? 1198 01:12:17,402 --> 01:12:19,762 Her name's Erica. 1199 01:12:19,863 --> 01:12:21,263 Good. 1200 01:12:21,365 --> 01:12:26,285 You never think about me anymore? 1201 01:12:26,537 --> 01:12:29,057 Not even just a little? 1202 01:12:31,125 --> 01:12:33,925 Let me put it this way. 1203 01:12:34,044 --> 01:12:35,964 I have thought about you... 1204 01:12:36,090 --> 01:12:39,730 about us... a lot. 1205 01:12:39,927 --> 01:12:42,127 But tonight, when you came in... 1206 01:12:42,262 --> 01:12:46,062 was the first time I didn't get all fucked up about it. 1207 01:12:47,893 --> 01:12:50,613 I think we could get you fucked up about it again. 1208 01:12:50,730 --> 01:12:54,410 Hey. Maybe you should go, hmm? 1209 01:12:54,567 --> 01:12:57,887 Mmm, I think your little friend here wants me to stay. 1210 01:12:58,071 --> 01:12:59,351 Yeah, well, my little friend's not in charge anymore... 1211 01:12:59,405 --> 01:13:00,485 so maybe you should go. 1212 01:13:00,574 --> 01:13:02,974 You're saying no to me? 1213 01:13:03,076 --> 01:13:05,036 You always do this to me... 1214 01:13:05,162 --> 01:13:06,802 and I'm the idiot because I keep coming back... 1215 01:13:06,914 --> 01:13:08,554 but I'm not coming back anymore. 1216 01:13:08,666 --> 01:13:11,506 You take everything from me. 1217 01:13:11,669 --> 01:13:13,069 That is so not true. 1218 01:13:13,170 --> 01:13:15,130 Oh, yeah? Name me one thing that you ever gave me. 1219 01:13:18,259 --> 01:13:21,019 l... I gave you The Bridges of Madison County... 1220 01:13:21,178 --> 01:13:22,258 you ungrateful asshole. 1221 01:13:22,347 --> 01:13:23,827 I never told you this. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 1222 01:13:23,932 --> 01:13:26,812 That was the biggest piece of trash I ever tried to read. 1223 01:13:26,977 --> 01:13:28,257 You pig. 1224 01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:34,520 Matt, I am so... so mad that I have... 1225 01:13:34,694 --> 01:13:36,214 I have to tell you. 1226 01:13:36,321 --> 01:13:38,681 Watching you standing up for yourself like this... 1227 01:13:38,781 --> 01:13:41,661 has never made me so... 1228 01:13:41,826 --> 01:13:42,946 so... 1229 01:13:46,414 --> 01:13:47,614 hot. 1230 01:13:47,707 --> 01:13:50,027 I like this. 1231 01:13:50,168 --> 01:13:51,768 Where have you been? 1232 01:13:54,464 --> 01:13:56,464 You can slam that door in my face if you want... 1233 01:13:56,591 --> 01:13:59,471 but I'll just be on the other side, even hotter. 1234 01:13:59,637 --> 01:14:03,317 Holy hell. 1235 01:14:03,516 --> 01:14:08,156 Slam that door in my dirty, bad, bad face. 1236 01:14:08,396 --> 01:14:11,316 Oh, God, Matt, slam it! 1237 01:14:25,165 --> 01:14:27,085 Aah! 1238 01:14:30,503 --> 01:14:32,103 Will you just think about it, OK? 1239 01:14:32,213 --> 01:14:34,173 The dude was in the john with a dirty mag. 1240 01:14:34,298 --> 01:14:36,138 If that's me, I'm painting the ceiling. 1241 01:14:36,259 --> 01:14:38,179 Who does this Matt guy think he is, anyways? 1242 01:14:38,303 --> 01:14:41,103 He's jerking us around. How do we know this is real? 1243 01:14:41,265 --> 01:14:44,225 If you just go to Big Window, look at the dude's face. 1244 01:14:44,393 --> 01:14:46,753 You would know. It's for real. 1245 01:14:46,895 --> 01:14:48,815 Merj, how many times have I been wrong? 1246 01:14:48,939 --> 01:14:51,299 Pfft. Stupid monkey-ass moron. 1247 01:14:51,442 --> 01:14:53,402 Why don't you quit wasting my time over here? 1248 01:14:54,696 --> 01:14:56,256 Hey, bagel guy. 1249 01:14:59,659 --> 01:15:02,379 You know my name? 1250 01:15:02,538 --> 01:15:05,378 She says to me, "You look like Lionel Richie." 1251 01:15:05,541 --> 01:15:07,301 Well, that's great, isn't it? 1252 01:15:07,377 --> 01:15:09,057 No, that's not great. That's not good. 1253 01:15:09,170 --> 01:15:10,290 Are you Chris? 1254 01:15:10,380 --> 01:15:13,060 - No, but I can be. - Chris would be me. 1255 01:15:13,216 --> 01:15:15,336 Excuse me. 1256 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:18,309 I need to place a bet. 1257 01:15:19,723 --> 01:15:20,723 Can you deal with this? 1258 01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:28,120 - Yeah, sure. - Good. 1259 01:15:28,316 --> 01:15:30,036 The thing is, it's a sucker bet. 1260 01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:31,751 It's going to be over in twenty four hours. 1261 01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:35,101 32 hours, 12 minutes, and 26 seconds. 1262 01:15:35,239 --> 01:15:36,359 Thanks. 1263 01:15:37,993 --> 01:15:39,873 Plus, Matt has this whole, uh... 1264 01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:43,594 you know, midnight madness thing mapped out and... 1265 01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:46,590 His friend is coming over at the stroke of midnight. 1266 01:15:46,752 --> 01:15:48,952 You get it? The stroke of midnight? 1267 01:15:50,965 --> 01:15:52,725 Thanks, buddy. 1268 01:15:54,427 --> 01:15:55,827 So, you'll take it? 1269 01:15:55,928 --> 01:15:58,488 Sure. 1270 01:15:58,639 --> 01:16:00,319 Thank you. 1271 01:16:00,432 --> 01:16:03,312 - Aw... 1272 01:16:03,478 --> 01:16:05,398 - Uhh. 1273 01:16:10,110 --> 01:16:12,830 when I get too sad 1274 01:16:12,988 --> 01:16:15,188 that I know are bad 1275 01:16:15,282 --> 01:16:17,962 and I count to ten 1276 01:16:18,118 --> 01:16:20,358 when I open them 1277 01:16:20,455 --> 01:16:22,775 that I had before 1278 01:16:22,915 --> 01:16:25,675 on the bedroom door 1279 01:16:25,793 --> 01:16:27,313 count to ten 1280 01:16:27,420 --> 01:16:28,780 Ooh! Ooh! 1281 01:16:28,880 --> 01:16:30,320 be wonderful again 1282 01:16:30,423 --> 01:16:33,183 Ooh! Ooh! Ah! 1283 01:16:33,344 --> 01:16:35,824 while they get some air 1284 01:16:35,970 --> 01:16:38,490 I hear them fight 1285 01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:41,360 that make me want to cry 1286 01:16:41,519 --> 01:16:42,799 when I go to bed 1287 01:16:42,895 --> 01:16:45,975 She's filled with heavenly sweetness. 1288 01:16:46,149 --> 01:16:48,189 when I hear them say 1289 01:16:48,317 --> 01:16:49,717 I somehow don't think Mr. Butterworth... 1290 01:16:49,820 --> 01:16:51,780 would appreciate that very much. 1291 01:16:51,905 --> 01:16:54,705 everything 1292 01:16:54,824 --> 01:16:59,304 and the world's so big 1293 01:16:59,538 --> 01:17:02,258 understand how 1294 01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:05,977 all those tears in your eyes 1295 01:17:06,170 --> 01:17:10,330 everything is wonderful now 1296 01:17:10,550 --> 01:17:12,710 1297 01:17:12,844 --> 01:17:14,444 1298 01:17:14,554 --> 01:17:18,194 tell me 1299 01:17:18,392 --> 01:17:20,392 Excuse me, is this taken? 1300 01:17:20,519 --> 01:17:22,239 No. 1301 01:17:22,354 --> 01:17:25,674 some day 1302 01:17:25,858 --> 01:17:27,578 1303 01:17:27,693 --> 01:17:30,213 1304 01:17:30,362 --> 01:17:33,362 If I hate everything 1305 01:17:33,533 --> 01:17:35,133 1306 01:17:35,243 --> 01:17:37,963 Is wonderful now 1307 01:17:38,122 --> 01:17:40,722 1308 01:17:40,873 --> 01:17:41,953 1309 01:17:42,042 --> 01:17:43,762 1310 01:17:43,877 --> 01:17:45,757 Aah! 1311 01:17:45,879 --> 01:17:49,199 Is wonderful now 1312 01:17:50,426 --> 01:17:52,466 - You got to help me. - You got to knock. 1313 01:17:56,808 --> 01:17:57,968 I'm seeing things. 1314 01:17:58,059 --> 01:18:00,139 I swear to God, everywhere I look... 1315 01:18:00,269 --> 01:18:02,349 I'm seeing tits and ass. 1316 01:18:02,481 --> 01:18:06,361 When I came in here, I swear to God, I saw you kissing a nun. 1317 01:18:13,576 --> 01:18:16,176 Oh, my God! You were kissing a nun! 1318 01:18:16,329 --> 01:18:19,049 I'm slipping, Matt. I've already slipped. 1319 01:18:19,206 --> 01:18:21,926 - It's your stories. - This is my fault? 1320 01:18:22,085 --> 01:18:23,725 No, it's mine. 1321 01:18:23,837 --> 01:18:25,397 It's been bubbling under the surface... 1322 01:18:25,505 --> 01:18:27,825 for a long time now. 1323 01:18:27,966 --> 01:18:29,566 I'm leaving the seminary for a little while. 1324 01:18:29,676 --> 01:18:31,396 What? 1325 01:18:31,512 --> 01:18:34,232 It's just a sabbatical. If I come back... 1326 01:18:34,389 --> 01:18:36,789 When I come back, it'll be for good. 1327 01:18:36,934 --> 01:18:39,054 So, you can't help me? 1328 01:18:39,186 --> 01:18:42,026 You're on your own, little man. 1329 01:19:01,961 --> 01:19:03,041 Ahh. 1330 01:19:07,508 --> 01:19:10,348 Well, welcome to the cathedral of ill repute. 1331 01:19:10,471 --> 01:19:11,551 Merci, monsieur. 1332 01:19:11,637 --> 01:19:13,917 Um, make yourself comfortable. 1333 01:19:14,057 --> 01:19:15,697 Bien sur. 1334 01:19:16,978 --> 01:19:19,258 I almost fucked an outlet today. 1335 01:19:21,273 --> 01:19:22,993 You, uh... 1336 01:19:23,108 --> 01:19:25,108 Since when do you smoke, Matt? 1337 01:19:25,236 --> 01:19:27,436 - Since today. - Jesus. 1338 01:19:27,572 --> 01:19:29,492 Is this him? 1339 01:19:29,615 --> 01:19:31,335 Yep. That's our boy. 1340 01:19:31,451 --> 01:19:33,771 You've started a whole new movement. 1341 01:19:33,912 --> 01:19:37,992 Megatonchism... sex without orgasms ever. 1342 01:19:39,835 --> 01:19:42,515 You like to party? 1343 01:19:42,671 --> 01:19:44,951 Can I borrow your handcuffs? 1344 01:19:47,050 --> 01:19:49,530 If my hand is free, I'm bound to do anything with it. 1345 01:19:49,679 --> 01:19:50,759 Anything. 1346 01:19:50,847 --> 01:19:52,607 How much did you drink, Matt? 1347 01:19:52,683 --> 01:19:54,923 God's spirit made Jesus go to the desert. 1348 01:19:55,018 --> 01:19:57,698 He was there for forty days while Satan tested him. 1349 01:19:57,854 --> 01:20:00,454 He was living with the wild animals... 1350 01:20:00,607 --> 01:20:03,487 but angels took care of him. 1351 01:20:03,652 --> 01:20:06,252 Mark 1:12. 1352 01:20:13,537 --> 01:20:15,177 I look like Jesus on the cross. 1353 01:20:15,290 --> 01:20:18,330 - Yes, you do. - Yep. 1354 01:20:18,501 --> 01:20:19,901 You do. 1355 01:20:20,003 --> 01:20:22,123 So, what about your late night visitor? 1356 01:20:22,256 --> 01:20:25,216 Leave the front door open a little bit... 1357 01:20:25,384 --> 01:20:29,344 and put that key right there. 1358 01:20:31,891 --> 01:20:33,051 When she comes, I'll tell her... 1359 01:20:33,142 --> 01:20:34,782 I was accosted by home invaders... 1360 01:20:34,895 --> 01:20:36,615 and they tied me up. 1361 01:20:36,730 --> 01:20:39,410 OK, champ. Anastasia and I are going to leave now... 1362 01:20:39,566 --> 01:20:42,926 so... you should sleep. 1363 01:20:43,112 --> 01:20:44,512 Think about the angels. 1364 01:20:44,613 --> 01:20:46,773 Peace be with you. 1365 01:20:48,408 --> 01:20:52,568 He is a little weird, but it is Easter. 1366 01:21:00,296 --> 01:21:01,936 I feel like it's my first time. 1367 01:21:02,048 --> 01:21:03,968 It is, isn't it? 1368 01:21:04,092 --> 01:21:07,372 You are going to be great. 1369 01:21:07,554 --> 01:21:08,874 It's going to be great. 1370 01:21:26,950 --> 01:21:28,390 Ha! 1371 01:21:31,497 --> 01:21:35,417 Haah! 1372 01:21:56,148 --> 01:21:57,468 Whoal 1373 01:21:57,566 --> 01:22:00,966 Aahl 1374 01:22:14,667 --> 01:22:16,387 Uhh 1375 01:22:19,589 --> 01:22:20,829 Show me you can do it. 1376 01:22:23,928 --> 01:22:26,248 You can do it, Matt. 1377 01:22:26,388 --> 01:22:28,588 Show me you can do it. 1378 01:22:28,724 --> 01:22:30,244 Ohh. 1379 01:22:33,103 --> 01:22:35,423 You can do it, Matt. You can do it. 1380 01:22:35,565 --> 01:22:37,445 You can... 1381 01:22:37,567 --> 01:22:39,007 Ohh! 1382 01:22:41,404 --> 01:22:43,204 Oh, there we go. 1383 01:22:43,324 --> 01:22:47,044 - Doesn't that feel better? - Ohh. Uhh. 1384 01:22:47,244 --> 01:22:49,284 Relax, baby. 1385 01:22:49,414 --> 01:22:51,254 It's over. 1386 01:22:58,964 --> 01:23:02,044 What? Why? Why would you do this? 1387 01:23:02,218 --> 01:23:04,818 Well, this all started because of me. 1388 01:23:04,971 --> 01:23:07,771 It only seems natural that I should end it, huh? 1389 01:23:11,728 --> 01:23:15,208 Oh, here's your key. 1390 01:23:15,399 --> 01:23:17,439 I kept meaning to return it. 1391 01:23:17,568 --> 01:23:19,448 It turns out the front door was open. 1392 01:23:21,906 --> 01:23:22,986 Are you expecting someone? 1393 01:23:23,074 --> 01:23:26,074 Oh, fuck. 1394 01:23:53,440 --> 01:23:54,760 - Uhh! 1395 01:24:02,784 --> 01:24:05,544 Oh, my... 1396 01:24:05,703 --> 01:24:08,783 I was asleep. I thought she was you. 1397 01:24:08,957 --> 01:24:11,677 Ohh. Was it worth it? 1398 01:24:14,296 --> 01:24:16,336 Oh, come on, Erica, please. 1399 01:24:16,464 --> 01:24:17,944 Erica! 1400 01:24:19,635 --> 01:24:20,715 Erica! 1401 01:24:20,803 --> 01:24:22,523 Oh, shit. 1402 01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:47,848 1403 01:24:47,999 --> 01:24:53,239 1404 01:24:53,505 --> 01:24:55,585 I'll say it was me. I'll say I set the whole thing up. 1405 01:24:55,715 --> 01:24:58,355 I'll say that I handcuffed you to the bed... which is true... 1406 01:24:58,509 --> 01:25:01,189 that I sent her over here. 1407 01:25:01,346 --> 01:25:02,906 She was here to see me. 1408 01:25:04,725 --> 01:25:06,365 No. 1409 01:25:06,476 --> 01:25:10,676 No? I'll tell her something less idiotic, obviously, but... 1410 01:25:12,192 --> 01:25:14,792 No. 1411 01:25:14,943 --> 01:25:17,463 No more lies. 1412 01:25:17,614 --> 01:25:19,094 This doesn't seem like one of those... 1413 01:25:19,198 --> 01:25:22,078 "truth will set you free" situations. 1414 01:25:23,912 --> 01:25:25,512 No, it doesn't. 1415 01:25:33,797 --> 01:25:36,237 Hey. 1416 01:25:36,383 --> 01:25:38,663 Guess who dropped by. 1417 01:25:40,179 --> 01:25:42,459 He left hours ago. 1418 01:25:42,557 --> 01:25:44,757 He brought you this. 1419 01:25:44,893 --> 01:25:47,573 Personally, I prefer the telegram... 1420 01:25:47,729 --> 01:25:49,649 but I did get to talk to him for a little bit. 1421 01:25:49,774 --> 01:25:51,654 So? I don't want to hear about it. 1422 01:25:51,775 --> 01:25:54,615 - OK. - But now you're on his side? 1423 01:25:54,778 --> 01:25:57,618 Yeah, Erica. He melted my heart. 1424 01:25:57,740 --> 01:26:01,140 He's a real mess about you. It was a little pathetic. 1425 01:26:01,327 --> 01:26:03,447 That's not good enough. 1426 01:26:03,579 --> 01:26:04,859 Don't be stupid, Erica. 1427 01:26:04,915 --> 01:26:07,355 He's crazy about you. What else do you want? 1428 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:14,140 and I love her for that 1429 01:26:15,926 --> 01:26:19,566 1430 01:26:21,766 --> 01:26:24,446 1431 01:26:24,602 --> 01:26:27,602 1432 01:26:27,772 --> 01:26:32,892 and deceive her 1433 01:26:33,111 --> 01:26:38,111 1434 01:26:38,368 --> 01:26:41,208 1435 01:26:41,369 --> 01:26:47,329 1436 01:27:05,521 --> 01:27:07,281 1437 01:27:07,399 --> 01:27:09,519 Helps with static cling. 1438 01:27:09,651 --> 01:27:15,931 1439 01:27:20,287 --> 01:27:22,047 Where's your laundry? 1440 01:27:24,667 --> 01:27:26,907 I've been here every day this week. 1441 01:27:27,045 --> 01:27:29,085 All my laundry's clean. 1442 01:27:34,218 --> 01:27:36,778 I know I screwed up with you... 1443 01:27:36,930 --> 01:27:39,330 over and over and over. 1444 01:27:39,474 --> 01:27:42,274 It just took me a long time to realize what I was doing. 1445 01:27:42,435 --> 01:27:43,995 Yes, it did. 1446 01:27:46,147 --> 01:27:51,427 I was trying to take a part of me and make it go away. 1447 01:27:51,696 --> 01:27:57,736 And I closed my world off, and I put myself in a little box. 1448 01:27:58,036 --> 01:28:00,396 And for a while, everything seemed clear. 1449 01:28:03,958 --> 01:28:05,678 But then you came along... 1450 01:28:05,794 --> 01:28:09,554 and that didn't help anything. 1451 01:28:11,217 --> 01:28:13,497 Remember when you said that you could never tell... 1452 01:28:13,635 --> 01:28:14,875 about someone until you kiss them? 1453 01:28:18,098 --> 01:28:20,338 Well... 1454 01:28:20,477 --> 01:28:24,517 I screwed up. l... I should've just done this. 1455 01:28:35,910 --> 01:28:38,430 Are you done talking now? 1456 01:29:00,310 --> 01:29:02,310 Thirty eight hours exactly. 1457 01:29:02,437 --> 01:29:04,637 - Son of a bitch. - Damn it. 1458 01:29:04,774 --> 01:29:07,974 The pot's up to 140. Anybody else want in on hour 39? 1459 01:29:08,110 --> 01:29:09,830 Hey, hey. 1460 01:29:09,946 --> 01:29:13,266 How do we even know that they're still even in there? 1461 01:29:13,450 --> 01:29:17,090 They could've put the CD player on repeat or shuffle. 1462 01:29:17,288 --> 01:29:19,928 - That's a good point. - It is a good point... 1463 01:29:20,082 --> 01:29:21,522 because they could've snuck out the back window... 1464 01:29:21,625 --> 01:29:23,545 and we're still sitting around here like a bunch of chimps. 1465 01:29:23,670 --> 01:29:25,950 - Chimps. - You know what? Look at me. 1466 01:29:26,088 --> 01:29:28,728 I've been here the whole time. Believe it. 1467 01:29:40,771 --> 01:29:43,651 Oh, put me in for a tenner. 1468 01:29:43,815 --> 01:29:48,415 He'll keep going. Two dollars, please. 1469 01:29:49,823 --> 01:29:52,223 - Uhh. 1470 01:30:03,045 --> 01:30:04,765 - Hey, Matt. - What's up, Matt? 1471 01:30:04,880 --> 01:30:05,960 Hey, Matt. 1472 01:30:06,048 --> 01:30:08,928 All right, you guys. Come on, get out. Get out of my house. 1473 01:30:10,594 --> 01:30:12,274 No, no. You know what? 1474 01:30:12,389 --> 01:30:13,789 Come on, come on. Get out of my house. 1475 01:30:13,847 --> 01:30:15,167 I'll just take this. 1476 01:30:15,265 --> 01:30:16,945 Bye. 1477 01:30:17,060 --> 01:30:18,580 - Later, stud. - See you later. 1478 01:30:18,686 --> 01:30:21,206 Thanks for the fish, Matt. 1479 01:30:21,356 --> 01:30:23,396 Looking good. How long are you going to be in there? 1480 01:30:23,525 --> 01:30:24,845 - Let's go. - Hey, I'm going. 1481 01:30:24,943 --> 01:30:26,783 Chris, I'm going to call you tomorrow, all right? 1482 01:30:26,861 --> 01:30:27,981 - What are you doing? - You, too. 1483 01:30:28,071 --> 01:30:29,951 - I don't have my keys on me. - Good. 1484 01:30:30,073 --> 01:30:31,473 Wait, this is my house, dude. 1485 01:30:31,533 --> 01:30:34,333 Not for the next twenty four hours, it's not. 1486 01:30:34,495 --> 01:30:37,375 And you all should be ashamed of yourselves. 1487 01:30:37,540 --> 01:30:39,340 You're kidding. Don't have sex on my bed. 1488 01:30:39,458 --> 01:30:42,538 He can't last in there another 24 hours. He'll die. 1489 01:30:42,712 --> 01:30:44,752 How much you want to bet? 1490 01:30:44,881 --> 01:30:48,521 How much do I want to bet that he'll actually die? 1491 01:30:48,719 --> 01:30:51,279 - I'll put ten bucks on it. - Another ten. 1492 01:30:51,430 --> 01:30:52,710 I don't have a life. 1493 01:30:53,016 --> 01:30:55,456 sexual frustration 1494 01:30:55,601 --> 01:30:58,681 lack of motivation 1495 01:30:58,855 --> 01:31:01,615 of concentration 1496 01:31:01,774 --> 01:31:05,374 1497 01:31:05,570 --> 01:31:07,290 1498 01:31:07,405 --> 01:31:10,565 you'd never leave me 1499 01:31:10,743 --> 01:31:13,063 1500 01:31:13,203 --> 01:31:16,683 of reckless happenstance 1501 01:31:16,873 --> 01:31:19,753 have to go away 1502 01:31:19,919 --> 01:31:22,479 1503 01:31:22,630 --> 01:31:24,710 you left me with nothing 1504 01:31:24,840 --> 01:31:27,840 1505 01:31:28,011 --> 01:31:29,931 1506 01:31:30,054 --> 01:31:32,614 1507 01:31:32,766 --> 01:31:35,646 1508 01:31:35,811 --> 01:31:38,851 1509 01:31:39,023 --> 01:31:41,623 1510 01:31:41,776 --> 01:31:44,776 1511 01:31:44,946 --> 01:31:47,826 television stations 1512 01:31:47,990 --> 01:31:51,070 by locations 1513 01:31:51,244 --> 01:31:54,244 1514 01:31:54,413 --> 01:31:57,253 to get to sleep 1515 01:31:57,417 --> 01:32:00,417 nothing to eat 1516 01:32:00,587 --> 01:32:03,267 your street 1517 01:32:03,424 --> 01:32:06,864 1518 01:32:07,052 --> 01:32:09,252 1519 01:32:09,389 --> 01:32:12,309 so much pressure on me? 1520 01:32:12,476 --> 01:32:14,876 1521 01:32:15,019 --> 01:32:18,379 little one 1522 01:32:18,565 --> 01:32:21,485 I can say? 1523 01:32:21,651 --> 01:32:24,251 with nothing 1524 01:32:24,405 --> 01:32:26,445 with nothing 1525 01:32:26,573 --> 01:32:29,533 1526 01:32:29,701 --> 01:32:31,581 1527 01:32:31,662 --> 01:32:34,262 1528 01:32:34,415 --> 01:32:37,335 1529 01:32:37,502 --> 01:32:40,502 1530 01:32:40,672 --> 01:32:43,192 1531 01:32:56,231 --> 01:32:59,071 in the rain 1532 01:32:59,191 --> 01:33:02,111 through my brain 1533 01:33:02,278 --> 01:33:05,158 speaks your name 1534 01:33:05,324 --> 01:33:08,444 1535 01:33:08,618 --> 01:33:11,738 my libido's gone berserk 1536 01:33:11,913 --> 01:33:13,233 nothing to eat 1537 01:33:13,332 --> 01:33:14,692 your street 1538 01:33:14,792 --> 01:33:16,872 1539 01:33:17,002 --> 01:33:20,122 you'd never leave me 1540 01:33:20,297 --> 01:33:22,737 1541 01:33:22,884 --> 01:33:26,244 of reckless happenstance 1542 01:33:26,429 --> 01:33:29,389 have to go away 1543 01:33:29,558 --> 01:33:31,998 with nothing 1544 01:33:32,144 --> 01:33:34,344 you left me with nothing 1545 01:33:34,480 --> 01:33:37,400 1546 01:33:37,566 --> 01:33:39,526 1547 01:33:39,651 --> 01:33:42,291 1548 01:33:42,447 --> 01:33:45,327