1
00:00:00,749 --> 00:00:03,770
It's the last time we let the girls pick
the restaurant. No, the food was

2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:05,170
greasy. The service was terrible.

3
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:08,990
Hey, if you can find another place where
seven people can eat for $130, be my

4
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:09,990
guest.

5
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:14,090
All I know, the maze on the back of the
placemat was impossible.

6
00:00:16,010 --> 00:00:17,010
Show off.

7
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:23,770
Danny Lorraine!

8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,970
Why, you scared the hell out of us.
Good.

9
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,850
Sometimes that's the only way to teach a
lesson.

10
00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:33,250
This house is so easy to break into. You
might as well put up a sign.

11
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:34,650
Murder us in our beds.

12
00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:37,390
Hi, kids.

13
00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:38,770
Hi, little Danny.

14
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:41,310
Did you bring us anything?

15
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:42,630
I sure did.

16
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,590
Crime scene tape.

17
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,670
Secure your bedroom.

18
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,550
Danny, you spoil them all.

19
00:00:51,950 --> 00:00:53,850
You know, they still play with those
evidence bags.

20
00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:57,770
So, people, consider the following
items.

21
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:02,570
Item number one, you need protective
vanadium bars on all of these windows.

22
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:07,110
Item number two, you need to replace all
the batteries in these smoke detectors.

23
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:10,550
Item three, we ate the banana bread in
the fridge.

24
00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:13,390
And we're getting married.

25
00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:16,970
Oh, my God, you ate the banana bread?

26
00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:22,530
Congratulations! I can't believe it.

27
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:25,910
She's getting married before me? Last
year, we all thought she was gay.

28
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,619
he everything?

29
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,620
How did he propose?

30
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:36,619
Was it romantic?

31
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:37,620
You bet.

32
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,960
Well, we were at the gun range.

33
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:46,700
And Officer Michalski emptied an entire
clip of .38 caliber wad cutters across

34
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,100
the torso of a paper target.

35
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,220
When I reeled it back in, it spelled out
marry me. I

36
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:57,120
know it's kind of cliche.

37
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,080
But I was in the mood and I had my speed
loader.

38
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,580
This is great. We got to celebrate.

39
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,140
Oh, wait.

40
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,420
There's no banana bread.

41
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,180
Kim. Yes.

42
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,780
I will be needing a best man.

43
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:18,540
Danny, you did it for me. I would be
honored to do it for you. Thank you.

44
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,360
Andy, go to garage to get the good
champagne.

45
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:21,619
Yes, sir.

46
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,200
Oh, cans or bottles?

47
00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:25,740
Steward's choice.

48
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,000
None for us. We're on duty, but I'll get
some glasses. Let me show you the

49
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,180
glasses. I'm so happy for you. Lorraine,
have you picked out a dress yet?

50
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,800
No. Oh, I love shopping for dresses.

51
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,120
Have you gone cake tasting?

52
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,000
Negative. Oh, that is a fun day.

53
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,240
How about flowers?

54
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,880
I love flowers. I love it all. I love it
a lot.

55
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,720
Don't make her beg, Lorraine.

56
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,260
Oh, Cheryl, will you?

57
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:55,460
Yes, yes.

58
00:02:57,740 --> 00:03:00,340
First thing we need to do is set a date.
A year is customary, but we could

59
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:02,700
probably do it in six months. It's this
Saturday at noon.

60
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:03,940
What? What?

61
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,260
A week?

62
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,400
Okay. Oh.

63
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,640
Oh, please.

64
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:09,140
Okay. Okay. Oh.

65
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,400
You know what? I can do this.

66
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,700
I've been planning Dana's wedding for
years. I'll just use the stuff I saved

67
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:15,700
her.

68
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,220
But that's my wedding stuff. You can't
give her my wedding. What are we going

69
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,220
do when I get married?

70
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:25,200
Well, we'll just jump into our flying
cars and celebrate the Cubs World

71
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:30,390
Danny, what's the rush?

72
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:31,530
We're cops.

73
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:35,490
We live every moment as if it's our last
when we make split -second life -or

74
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:36,329
-death decisions.

75
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:39,650
Plus, we got a great deal on the
Cabernet room with Hotel Whitsitt.

76
00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:42,390
Whitsitt? Man, that is expensive.

77
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:46,610
Not when you raid an illegal cockfight
and find young Master Whitsitt going out

78
00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:47,890
the back door with a dead chicken.

79
00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:09,910
It was a toothed time.

80
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:13,050
It was a toothed time.

81
00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:21,529
Not bad, boys, not bad.

82
00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:23,630
We'll do a little better at the wedding,
right?

83
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:27,250
Yeah, well, I played better with a
hangover.

84
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:31,890
Well, listen, you're going to be playing
like Jimi Hendrix that night because

85
00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:36,690
for the bachelor party, I got the
ultimate limo. It's got a full bar, a

86
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,690
ball.

87
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:38,960
stripper pole.

88
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,420
Wait a minute. Hey, get this.

89
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,820
The limo pulls over and the limo driver,
she's the stripper.

90
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,520
That's class, baby.

91
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,840
They're still never going to top the
bachelor party Danny threw for you. I

92
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:57,100
That was unbelievable. That was it. That
was the bachelor party. Yes, that was

93
00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,540
epic. A high watermark in Midwestern
adult male debauchery.

94
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,700
That was quite a night. I don't think
I'm really up for that again in my life.

95
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,080
What are you talking about?

96
00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:09,170
Well, I was speaking with my betrothed.
Oh!

97
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:12,810
Well,

98
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:17,110
now look, you know, I mean, Lorraine
does not want me participating in

99
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:18,170
of the bachelor variety.

100
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:19,750
Lorraine said that?

101
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,090
And you're going to stand for that?

102
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:22,650
She's going to be my wife.

103
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,090
Gonna be.

104
00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:27,530
On Saturday.

105
00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:30,650
No, fellas.

106
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,580
Not this time. I don't think so.

107
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,500
Look, if you lay down on this one,
Lorraine is going to win every battle

108
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,500
here on out.

109
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,780
Listen, a bachelor party is a man's God
-given right. Yeah.

110
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,620
Like wearing the same underwear all week
long.

111
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,560
For example. Yeah.

112
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,120
I'll talk to Lorraine. I'm the best man.
Come on.

113
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:54,660
Okay, next.

114
00:05:54,980 --> 00:06:00,400
The cake. Now, this one has... Fondant
icing, frosted rosebud, and basket

115
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,660
Very classy.

116
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:05,120
That's a little pearly, isn't it?

117
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,860
A bride is a girl.

118
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,600
I just don't get it. How are you even
qualified to get married?

119
00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:16,680
A man asked me.

120
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,180
I'll be in the other room.

121
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,580
What's this about no bachelor party?

122
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:32,840
Well, I just feel that it's an
opportunity for a man to get drunk and

123
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:37,280
badly and then show up at his wedding
the next day hungover and ruin

124
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:44,200
Well, that sounds just like... Cheryl?

125
00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:46,960
I didn't say he ruined everything.

126
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,260
Just a reception.

127
00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:59,170
put me in a chair, and dance me around.
It was like a Jewish wedding.

128
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:04,810
Look, look. This is not that big a deal.
If Danny wants a bachelor party... No,

129
00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:05,810
no, no, Lorraine.

130
00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:10,650
A wild bachelor party is a bad idea.
Cheryl, no, no, no, no, no. You are

131
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:15,330
Cheryl. A bachelor party is a sacred
right. It's a milestone in a man's life.

132
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:17,790
Come on. It's just an excuse to get
drunk and see boobs.

133
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:21,410
No man needs an excuse to do that.

134
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:25,170
Damn it. If I might... No, no, no.

135
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:35,710
I'm working here, Danny. I'm working
here. No, no, no.

136
00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:37,230
Let the man speak.

137
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:38,450
Fine, fine.

138
00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:39,950
We'll let him speak, Danny. Speak.

139
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,890
Do you want to have a bachelor party?

140
00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:44,790
Yes. Lorraine, do you want him hung over
at your wedding? No.

141
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,570
Danny, do you want to have fun? Yes.
With naked women?

142
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,430
You know, last night, someone took a
shot at me in a crack house.

143
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:55,130
I felt more comfortable then than I do
now.

144
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,130
We need a bachelor party.

145
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:05,370
It's a way we send off one of our own.
It's the last opportunity for brothers

146
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:07,610
get together and say, I feel like a man.

147
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,470
Yeah, that's what it's about.

148
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:14,230
Yes. Not alcohol or strippers. No,
absolutely not.

149
00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:15,490
Oh, please.

150
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:21,250
Look, I can throw one kick -ass party
for my best friend here with no booze

151
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,930
no broads, and it's going to be the best
party ever.

152
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:27,210
Do not hang me like a dog.

153
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:39,360
So, how's that Harvest Bran muffin?

154
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:44,200
Quite tasty, actually. And it really
moves things along.

155
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,360
Can it move this party along?

156
00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:51,320
That's really blows.

157
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,420
I'm sorry, Danny. I don't know what I
was thinking.

158
00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:58,990
What are you talking about? You really
tried hard, and I appreciate that. Oh,

159
00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:00,130
thank you, partner.

160
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:02,630
Thanks. Wait a minute, wait a minute,
dude. Where are you going?

161
00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:05,030
I'm getting married tomorrow. I thought
I'd call it a night.

162
00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:08,090
A bachelor can't call it a night. Only
the best man can.

163
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:10,610
And I'm not calling until we do
something crazy.

164
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,150
Are you guys with me on that?

165
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,370
Yeah!

166
00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:15,370
But no booze and no brunch.

167
00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:20,050
I got it. It can't be illegal.

168
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:21,510
Oh.

169
00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:32,410
Check out the old dudes.

170
00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:34,350
They must be on something.

171
00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:39,690
Negative. No impaired motor skills, no
dilated pupils, no elevated breathing.

172
00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,090
They're on a different kind of high.

173
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:43,990
The hardest one to get.

174
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:45,930
Life.

175
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:53,770
Okay, guys. It's time to do something
crazy. Something really crazy. And

176
00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:54,770
crazier than...

177
00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:14,830
and we're jumping into Lake Michigan.
How you feeling, Danny?

178
00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:16,710
I feel like a man!

179
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:21,210
How you

180
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:28,190
feeling,

181
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:31,530
Danny? I can't feel my legs.

182
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:34,790
Tell me he's going to be all right. Just
tell me he's going to be all right.

183
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,950
Got to get his core body temperature
back up. Do it fast.

184
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:41,900
He's going to get married in... the
morning this was his bachelor party why

185
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:47,020
didn't you just get him loaded and take
him to the strip club thank you

186
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:54,680
oh

187
00:10:54,680 --> 00:11:00,720
come on dan you gotta pull through this
for me come on you're getting married in

188
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,920
like 10 minutes ago is that you grandpa

189
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,020
them apples like you want them.

190
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:14,180
Hey, Danny, if you don't pull through
this, would it be cool if I asked

191
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,139
out?

192
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,480
Andy, what are you talking about?

193
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:17,479
I'm lonely.

194
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,660
I don't care if you're lonely. You don't
say that to a man in a bed like that.

195
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:27,660
Can I talk to you for a second? Doc,
come on. Talk to me straight here.

196
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,180
Your friend is fine. His pulse
temperature, everything is normal.

197
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,440
But he's moaning and shivering and
totally out of it.

198
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:37,420
As far as I can tell, he's perfectly
healthy.

199
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,200
But this guy has the highest blood
pressure I've ever seen in any human

200
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,060
Danny's not sick?

201
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,760
I don't get it. Yeah, I do.

202
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:59,120
This specific problem is very common
with a man at this stage in his life.

203
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,460
You think it's his prostate?

204
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:02,800
No.

205
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:07,320
No, he's scared. He's got cold feet.
He's totally scared of getting married.

206
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,900
Hello, guys. Come on. Everybody's
waiting.

207
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,160
Danny.

208
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,900
Hey. Hey. Hi, Jill.

209
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,280
Hi, Dan.

210
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,660
Hi. So, what's up?

211
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,860
Nothing. We're just, you know, waiting
for the groom and watching the bride

212
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:28,860
clean her pistol.

213
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,930
on edge. She just gave the flower girl a
time out.

214
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,630
She has one job!

215
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:41,530
All right, all right, all right, all
right.

216
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,730
Just relax, Cheryl, all right?

217
00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,830
You know, Danny's gonna be out here in a
few minutes. He's just very particular

218
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:50,130
about the way he looks. He's just trying
to get his bow tie perfect.

219
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:51,710
Kill me! Kill me now!

220
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,990
I told him to wear a clip -on, but you
know.

221
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:57,930
Oh, my God.

222
00:12:58,530 --> 00:12:59,570
You did it, didn't you?

223
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:02,690
You mean fall in love with you? Yes, I
did.

224
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:08,010
Jim's acting far too natural for
anything to be wrong.

225
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:11,770
You took him out last night and got
drunk. Now he's in there sick as a dog.

226
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,710
There was absolutely no alcohol or
nudity.

227
00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:18,350
Unless, of course, you include 75 -year
-old man boobs.

228
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,250
What?

229
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:27,530
We went swimming last night in Lake
Michigan.

230
00:13:28,150 --> 00:13:31,710
It was 20 degrees last night. Tell me
about it. My boys are still hiding

231
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:32,710
my lungs.

232
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:38,990
Jim, what are you saying? Is Danny too
sick to get married? No, he's faking it.

233
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:40,350
He's got cold feet. He's scared to
death.

234
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:41,870
Oh, this is typical.

235
00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:45,330
It's just another dumb man afraid to
make a commitment. You see, this is why

236
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,690
still alone. It's just not fair. I'm a
size two.

237
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,830
You know what, Dana? Time out.

238
00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:55,070
All right, Jim. What?

239
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:58,330
I've got a church full of people out
there waiting to watch them get married,

240
00:13:58,350 --> 00:13:59,750
and many of them are armed.

241
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:03,450
So what do you suppose I tell them?
Well, Cheryl.

242
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,140
Why don't you tell them the truth?

243
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,820
Why don't you tell them it's your fault?

244
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:10,960
What? Yes, because I listened to you.
Because I didn't give them a normal

245
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,840
bachelor party. If you had a bachelor
party, then we could have got them

246
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,340
you could have seen a bunch of boobs,
you could have woke up in the morning,

247
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,860
mesmerized and hungover, weak, and I
could have got them down the aisle.

248
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:24,220
I'm just being half -gay planning this
wedding.

249
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:28,420
Okay, okay, just calm down. I'll get
them out. I'll get them out. Keep them

250
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:29,840
alive down there. Keep it going.

251
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:37,910
Oh, my... What is that on your face?

252
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,050
Is that wedding cake?

253
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:46,910
This is beautiful.

254
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:55,750
A large man in a tux sitting on a hotel
room bed next to a sick cop watching

255
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:56,750
porn.

256
00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:01,670
Ironically, that's exactly how this
movie started.

257
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:11,150
Listen, the doctor said that we have to
turn Danny over so he doesn't get bed

258
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,150
sores.

259
00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:16,990
Okay, Danny, we're just going to turn
you over a little bit, okay? Here we go.

260
00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:23,950
Get up. I'm sick. I'm sick, I tell you.
You're not sick at all. The doctor said

261
00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:27,590
you were fine. There's nothing wrong
with you. Andy, you go downstairs and

262
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:30,070
him we'll be down in ten minutes. Right.

263
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,330
Hey, Jim, how long do you have the room?

264
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:37,070
I sure would love to get back up here
and finish genital hospital.

265
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:39,810
Go downstairs!

266
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:47,110
All right, pal, you got me. Yeah, I got
you good.

267
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:49,450
What's going on with you?

268
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:53,870
You got a beautiful woman and an entire
SWAT team waiting down there for you.

269
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:59,010
Look, I've just been doing some
thinking. This isn't the right move for

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00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:01,990
What? I'm just contemplating what I
might be giving up.

271
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:06,120
Giving up? Like what? What are you
giving up? Well, there are other women

272
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,120
there, Jim.

273
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,700
After slinging perps around for 20
years, I'm in the best physical shape of

274
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:11,700
life. Oh, okay.

275
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,200
You should see some of the hotties I
pull over. I'm only human.

276
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:17,900
Okay, honestly, Danny, honestly.

277
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,300
Have you ever hooked up with any one of
them?

278
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,700
Not one.

279
00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:26,860
But I know that as soon as they say I
do, I'm going to pull over a busload of

280
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,520
playmates in a school zone doing 55.

281
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,160
And where would they be going? To boob
school?

282
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,620
What about my nights in the town?

283
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,260
Danny, come on.

284
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,860
You barely drink. Cigarette smoke makes
you wheeze. And the only time you're up

285
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:45,220
after midnight is to take a pee.

286
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:47,720
About four times.

287
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,360
Maybe I'm just scared. Well, sure you're
scared, Danny. Sure you are.

288
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,380
Come on. Men are always scared to get
married.

289
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:59,540
It's not a natural thing for men to get
married.

290
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:01,590
It just isn't.

291
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,730
I mean, you know, it's the cave women
that came up with that.

292
00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:09,069
Because they didn't know how to start
fires, you see.

293
00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:11,069
That's the truth.

294
00:17:11,069 --> 00:17:13,530
And then man created the wheel to get
away.

295
00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:17,430
What a ridiculous theory.

296
00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:19,290
Oh, you think so, huh?

297
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:22,630
Because that's exactly what you told me
on my wedding day to get me down the

298
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:23,630
aisle.

299
00:17:23,890 --> 00:17:27,950
Of course, I had a half a bottle of
whiskey in me and it made more sense

300
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,240
Well, do you ever regret it?

301
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:32,880
Getting married?

302
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,180
No, never.

303
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,500
It bugs me a lot of the time, but never.

304
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:38,780
I mean, you know.

305
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,140
Danny, you know what? I got to tell you.

306
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,860
I love being married to Cheryl.

307
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:49,980
I really do. I mean, she's created a
life for me that I would have never had.

308
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,420
Danny, I didn't even know it existed.

309
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:54,620
And you know what?

310
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:56,800
She lets me be me.

311
00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:59,610
And no one's ever done that for me.

312
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,670
And she is hot.

313
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,830
That Lorraine is one hell of a public
servant. Yes.

314
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:12,930
There you go. You're getting there.

315
00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,290
All right. Yeah.

316
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:18,810
I'm ready.

317
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:19,849
Are you?

318
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,910
It's about time I start my new life with
the woman I love.

319
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:25,430
Thank you, buddy.

320
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:26,690
Ah, Danny.

321
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:28,370
You did it for me.

322
00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:32,010
All right, let's do it. Okay, wait a
minute.

323
00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:33,850
You sure you don't want a little
whiskey?

324
00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:36,090
Let's check out that minibar.

325
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,650
I apologize for the delay in approaching
the altar. I encountered a possible

326
00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:57,450
signal 351 on the way over.

327
00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:01,530
A 351 is an escaped non -domestic
animal.

328
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:04,250
Well, that would be me.

329
00:19:05,890 --> 00:19:08,090
A lone wolf with cold paws.

330
00:19:09,910 --> 00:19:12,270
I'm glad you made it, Officer Michalski.

331
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:16,190
I love you, Officer Elkin Michalski.

332
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,150
Copy.

333
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,070
There's a woman over there giving me the
eye.

334
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,210
Be a good sister and break up with me.

335
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:30,350
All right, but this time you have to
yell, no, baby, no, you were the best

336
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:31,350
that ever happened to me.

337
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:32,430
Deal.

338
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,630
It's over.

339
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,330
Hey, baby, I was the best thing that
ever happened to you.

340
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:40,250
That's not the line.

341
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:46,390
Well, looks like they broke up again.

342
00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:48,990
They'll get it right eventually.

343
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,200
And we have the best man up here on
stage for the toast.

344
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,400
Yes,

345
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,480
hello.

346
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:02,760
You know, I could probably dazzle you
with one of my brilliant toasts, but I'm

347
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,080
afraid you'll pull your guns out and
shoot it to the ceiling and then I won't

348
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,080
get my deposit back.

349
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:12,820
So I'd like to invite Mr. Danny
Machowski up here to sing a lovely song

350
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:13,820
new bride, Lorraine.

351
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:29,810
Yeah.

352
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:32,350
Yeah.

353
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,030
Yeah.

354
00:20:58,830 --> 00:20:59,830
This is...