1 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:05,250 Hey. Hey. 2 00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:06,649 What are you doing? 3 00:00:06,650 --> 00:00:07,650 I came to see Cheryl. 4 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,030 Well, are you going to come in? 5 00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,530 Nah, I'm just not in the mood for you this morning. 6 00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:14,990 I'd rather wait till you're gone. 7 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:16,930 Oh. 8 00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:18,610 Okay. 9 00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,930 Run a little late. It's going to be like an hour or something. 10 00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:23,869 I'm cool. 11 00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:24,870 Okay. 12 00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:27,170 Have a good one. You too. 13 00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:45,760 I am just exhausted. My stupid neighbor's dog started barking at 7 .30 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:46,760 morning. Can you imagine? 15 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,040 7 .30. 16 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:53,800 Yeah, let's see. By 7 .30, I have everybody up and dressed. I've made 17 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,500 lunches and cleaned somebody's vomit off of something. 18 00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:02,220 And I had to lie there for a whole hour before I could go back to sleep. 19 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:06,740 And that's how a male seahorse fertilizes its eggs. 20 00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:15,330 Did you see that the Millers across the street are selling their house? 21 00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:18,470 What? The Millers? Wait, refresh my memory. Did they hate you? 22 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,630 No, but to be fair, they never really knew me. 23 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,750 Oh, I love that house. 24 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:28,850 I would kill to have that kitchen. Can you imagine having granite countertops 25 00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:32,810 and vaulted ceilings with skylight? Oh, come on. That house isn't that great. 26 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,850 I mean, probably no one ever uses that screening room they have. 27 00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:38,930 I'd never leave the house if I had that. 28 00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:41,530 Or a woman. 29 00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:47,480 Do you know their master bedroom has a fireplace and their bathtub is a spa? 30 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,220 Oh, it is perfect. 31 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,520 Oh, come on, perfect. Do they have a wine cellar like we do? 32 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,180 A case of beer under a ping pong table is not a wine cellar. We're talking 33 00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,520 the cool room in the corner of the basement. 34 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:00,880 Yoo -hoo -hoo! 35 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,100 Anybody to home? 36 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,400 Is that... 37 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,660 Wait for me. Save yourself. 38 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,660 What are they doing here? I thought we got rid of them. We're good. 39 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:29,260 I know it. Then I ran into Cindy at the market this morning, and she kind of 40 00:02:29,260 --> 00:02:30,380 said it'd be great to get together. 41 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,418 And you said? 42 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,420 I said no. 43 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:34,780 And in my head. 44 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:41,580 Although out loud, I may have said that'd be great. You were nice to her? 45 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,360 Well, excuse me for being polite. That's how I was brought up. Give me a break. 46 00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,640 We had the same parents, and I... 47 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,980 save yourself, there's usually a little back and forth. 48 00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:30,390 Contact lens. Thank you, everyone, for helping me. Oh, great. 49 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:34,690 They're so expensive, you know. So, Tim, Cindy, everything. 50 00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:38,330 Well, Tim, tell them how the hot tub business is doing. 51 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:39,930 It's bubbling over. 52 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,550 Oh, boy. I think I just peed a little. 53 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:50,510 So, Jim, how's the construction business? Oh. 54 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,620 A high crew cut off his own arm in order to escape. 55 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,840 I get it now. 56 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,320 Okay, enough witty banter. Let's get down to beeswax. 57 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,880 We have some big, important news. 58 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:21,060 Okay, honey, let me tell them. No, I want to tell them. No, me. 59 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:22,420 No, me. 60 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:26,120 Why don't you two just tell each other in the car on the way home? 61 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,420 Pass the sunscreen, honey. We're getting burned. 62 00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:37,520 Okay, all right. On our way over here to see our best friend, we... 63 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,260 read to chat or watch our stories, borrow a cup of sugar? 64 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,499 Uh -oh. 65 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:58,000 Did I just hear someone say they needed some sugar? Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. 66 00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:59,020 Three bags full. 67 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,260 Wow. 68 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,540 And all because Cheryl ran into them at the market. 69 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,780 Isn't life funny? I think I just peed a little. 70 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,680 In 90 seconds exactly, we're going to begin Operation Scare the Hell Out of 71 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,180 Devlin so they don't live across the street. 72 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,360 Everyone, circumcise your watches. 73 00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:34,300 Synchronize. Will you please not get in the way of my technical planning? 74 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,800 Andy, you got a brick to throw through the window? I couldn't find a brick, but 75 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,460 I got something even better. Good. 76 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,580 Oh, for the record, I still think my plan was bad. 77 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,240 I am not getting up at 3 in the morning to make crop circle. 78 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,560 All right, let's go. 79 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,820 And take it up a little higher? 80 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,560 Would the brakes be working in that car? 81 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,520 Hey, we're back. 82 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,800 Oh, hey, Cheryl. 83 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:11,380 I've been studying feng shui, and you and Jim wouldn't fight as much if you 84 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:12,420 rid of that big, awful TV. 85 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:13,960 You want to bet? 86 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,480 Yeah, you know what? We're not really feng shui people. 87 00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:22,200 Oh, I'm a narrow -minded westerner. I don't believe in something that's been 88 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,840 around for thousands of years. Yeah, whoops, my mind was open a crack. Better 89 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:26,840 shut it. 90 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaking of crack, um... You know, this neighborhood's got a little bit of a 91 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800 crime problem. 92 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:36,820 What? 93 00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,220 Oh, my God! It's gang activity! 94 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,620 Gang? 95 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,620 Look! An omelet pan! 96 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:50,160 Well, that's not just any omelet pan. This is the calling card for the Maple 97 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,059 Street Gang. 98 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:54,160 That is so scary. 99 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,820 And it might be someone's wedding present. 100 00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:04,480 Well, I guess it's better that you know about this neighborhood's ugly secret 101 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,400 before you put an offer on that house across the street. Oh, those ruffians 102 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:13,040 don't scare us. No, the Timinator understands the gang mentality. 103 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,000 He played Riff in West Side Story. 104 00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,960 So you still want to put an offer in on that house? 105 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,160 Oh, absolutely. 106 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,020 As long as you two are here, it's still a desirable neighborhood. 107 00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:33,840 What do you think of crop circles? 108 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,060 They scare you out of it. Look what they did to me. 109 00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:41,340 This is the work of the Maple Street Gang. 110 00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:45,100 And they spray painted their name on the Devlin's van. 111 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,120 We don't have a van. 112 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:50,800 We do. 113 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,120 And I'm sure they're very sorry about it. 114 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,740 Feel free to look around, but just know that I counted every beer in that 115 00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,740 refrigerator. 116 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,200 Well, my dear, we're having an open house. That's what you do when you put 117 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,200 house on the market. 118 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:29,240 What? Just relax. 119 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:33,200 We're not really selling the house. But if we get the devils to think that we're 120 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,600 moving, then maybe they won't buy the house across the street. 121 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,740 What if somebody makes an offer? 122 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,919 It is so overpriced. Who's going to pay that? 123 00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,539 Whoa. Yeah. 124 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:43,860 Who's the sexy genius? 125 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,100 Russell Crowe, but that is a good plan. It is, isn't it? 126 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,560 Say it ain't so, Jim. 127 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,900 You're moving? 128 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:56,790 Aw. I'm afraid so. You know, I got a sudden job opportunity that I just 129 00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:57,810 pass on. Where? 130 00:08:58,530 --> 00:08:59,530 Alaska. 131 00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:01,610 Right, Cheryl? 132 00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:09,510 Right, yes, yes. We bought a cannery and we're turning it into a B andB. 133 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:15,130 Without you, this neighborhood's just a gang -infested hellhole. 134 00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:17,350 I know. 135 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:20,730 Well, you know what? We'll be sure to send you a postcard from... 136 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:22,070 A town in Alaska. 137 00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:26,850 Yeah. We better go withdraw our offer before it's too late. I need my man 138 00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,730 sweater first. Hope it still fits. 139 00:09:29,350 --> 00:09:32,050 It always fits. One size fits Cindy. 140 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,870 Are we willing to carry back a second mortgage? 141 00:09:37,670 --> 00:09:40,510 Yeah, you know, I gotta go. She has a little bit of trouble with compound 142 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,930 interest. Excuse me. 143 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:48,640 Look, I'm sorry about this, but, you know, if you're ever up in Alaskan 144 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:52,560 territory passing through, be sure to give us a jingle, all right? I can't 145 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,240 believe we're not going to have you in our lives. 146 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,320 I know. But we can have a part of them. 147 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,080 Oh, my God. 148 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,500 I know what you're thinking. 149 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,320 We should buy this place! 150 00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:03,940 Yes! 151 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,300 Yes! Every inch of this house will remind us of you. 152 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,880 No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. Why not? It's for sale. 153 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:20,680 I know, but nobody in their right mind would pay this price. 154 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:22,540 We would. 155 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,800 Well, then certainly no one in their right mind would pay $10 ,000 more than 156 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:28,800 that. 157 00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,040 Or $20 ,000. 158 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,020 $25 ,000. 159 00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:37,620 Then lock us up because we're nuts. 160 00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:14,390 waxing lady. 161 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:24,270 Cindy, I didn't expect to see you here on a ladder outside my bedroom. 162 00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,250 Your bedroom? 163 00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:29,430 Well, I guess it is for a few more days. 164 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,690 What are you talking about? 165 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:35,510 Didn't Jim tell you? He sold us your house. 166 00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:41,590 What? Oh, I ruined the surprise, didn't I? 167 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:21,270 to surprise you. 168 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:23,230 Surprise me with jewelry? 169 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,250 Not by selling my house? 170 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:29,410 Oh, but Sarah, you know how much money we made. I really soaked them. Now we 171 00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,870 buy any house we want. You want another house? 172 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:33,710 Well, yes, you do. 173 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:38,590 I heard you. No, you said so. You want another house. 174 00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:42,470 When? Well, you're always going to open houses and talking about the big new 175 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:46,410 kitchens and the walk -in closets and the skylights. You even wanted to move 176 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:47,810 into the millers across the street. 177 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,220 I don't want another house. I want this house, my house. And I want a husband 178 00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:03,840 who asks me before he sells my house. 179 00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:07,060 Hey, you get me my house back. 180 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,000 My house, my house, sure. 181 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:15,520 Let's see you pay the mortgage with the tips the kids give you for making that 182 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,520 lot. 183 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:36,510 Excessive moisture penetration so we don't pass the inspection. 184 00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:40,170 Jim, why don't you tell the Devlins you don't want to sell the house? The deal's 185 00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:43,570 already closed, and by state law, the only way out of this thing is by doing 186 00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,750 something sneaky and underhanded. Come on, more, more. 187 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:49,250 I don't know, Jim. I'd like to try on the truce sometime, see how it fits. 188 00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,570 Yeah? Well, if it's anything like those pants do, it's going to be tight in the 189 00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:54,570 seat. 190 00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:56,990 All right, because you're Audrey Hepburn. 191 00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:01,230 Excuse me, can I see that for a second? Just for a second. 192 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,560 Audrey Hepburn! We'll be right back. 193 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:52,130 Someone needs to be cited for a smile that collapsed. 194 00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,530 Can you just wrap this up? Yeah, thanks. 195 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,349 Come on, Cheryl. 196 00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:58,370 Let's take a last look at all the memories you're leaving behind. 197 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,090 Yeah, can we not hold hands all the time? 198 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:15,860 load this money pit. 199 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:21,220 But you know what? It wouldn't feel right to sell this place to a friend. 200 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,720 Yeah. I just hope there's no hard feelings. 201 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,780 Oh, come on, guys. 202 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,240 This is just a setback. It's not a deal breaker. 203 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,720 Look at this place. 204 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,940 Spiffy and a jiffy. 205 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,100 I kind of like having a project I can tackle with my pants off. 206 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,259 Sell our home. 207 00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:51,840 We love our home. We never wanted to sell it. 208 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,300 The only reason we were doing this was because we didn't want you anywhere near 209 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,300 us. 210 00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,089 I'm just glad we're not losing you to Alaska. 211 00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:23,349 Come on, hugs? 212 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,310 Not until you put your pants back on. 213 00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:28,210 And then no. 214 00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:33,490 Come on, Timberwolf. We have a house to buy across the street. 215 00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:34,710 Yeah! 216 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:35,750 Well, 217 00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:39,610 I better go get some paper towels. 218 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,400 I'm guessing this wasn't the original plan. 219 00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:57,920 Yeah, it was, except for the water. 220 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,120 Come on, come sit with me on my dock. 221 00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:05,940 Oh, my God. 222 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:12,420 Well, 223 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:17,200 look, it's not your dream house, but at least you got a couple thousand dollars 224 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,200 worth of water damage. 225 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:24,100 You know, Cheryl, I just wanted to do the right thing by you. That's all. 226 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,580 Honey, when have you not done the right thing by me? 227 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,680 You know, eventually. 228 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,220 I just think you deserve better. 229 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,260 You do. 230 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,960 And, you know, I'd get you a castle if I could. You know that. Hey, this is my 231 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:39,960 castle. 232 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,500 Now I even have a moat. 233 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,940 Yeah, but you don't have a walk -in closet or a bigger kitchen or skylights. 234 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,860 And the kids? 235 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,180 And no backyard. 236 00:18:50,990 --> 00:18:51,990 Freaky floorboards. 237 00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,970 Lots of great memories. 238 00:18:56,950 --> 00:19:01,790 Jim, I walk to this house and I feel our family and our life. 239 00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:03,590 I love that. 240 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,170 That's what makes this a home to me. 241 00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:09,290 Yeah. 242 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,150 Me too. 243 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:28,180 perfect time to play swamp thing come on you be heather locklear i'll be swamp 244 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,420 thing i'm heather locklear 245 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,720 Some of the kids' toys and Jim's tools. 246 00:19:55,060 --> 00:20:01,060 Right here on the insurance farm, I got one rare stamp collection, one Picasso, 247 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,680 two Rolls Royces. 248 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,800 Greetings, all. 249 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,480 Got some house party invites for across the street. 250 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:11,740 Oh, great. 251 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,640 Now I have to buy these psychos a present. 252 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,240 The Devlins didn't buy the house. 253 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,260 What? Some eligible bachelor did. 254 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,380 Yeah, has family in the neighborhood. 255 00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:23,660 Oh, my God. Is he cute? 256 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,220 Gorgeous. 257 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,440 But he's out of your league. 258 00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:29,400 Oh, and he's your brother. 259 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:30,660 What? 260 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:31,679 It's me. 261 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,920 What? You brought the house across the street? 262 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,900 I outbid the Devlins. Hello, neighbor. 263 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:45,040 The best news, man. I cannot believe you people. 264 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,360 You knew? 265 00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:53,420 If I was anything less than a gentleman, I'd whip you within an inch of your 266 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,420 life. 267 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,980 Come on, cat on a hot tin roof. Let's go. 268 00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,220 With pleasure. 269 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,120 We never want to see any of you again. Ever!