1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,833 [cheerful music playing] 2 00:00:10,541 --> 00:00:11,625 Am I happy? 3 00:00:11,708 --> 00:00:13,041 [chuckles] 4 00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,916 Yeah. I am, yeah. 5 00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:20,208 A few weeks ago I gave up my dream of becoming a big-time rapper. 6 00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:22,375 [chitters] 7 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:26,333 I moved back to Schitten to focus on my family. 8 00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:29,250 -Best decision of my life. -[both laughing] 9 00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:31,000 What an adventure. 10 00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:34,041 [crashing] 11 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,541 I've been doing some honest work… 12 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:37,291 Ow! 13 00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:38,375 SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL THEATER 14 00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:41,083 …and finally spending some quality time with my son. 15 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,750 Watch out, folks! 16 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:43,791 ASTEROID UP 17 00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:45,416 Asteroid flying. 18 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,208 THE BEST DAD (IN and AROUND SCHITTEN) 19 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,250 -[Tupac cooing] -Schitten for life. 20 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:52,458 FERRES FOR SCHITTEN 21 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,083 -What could be better than that? -[burps] 22 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,625 [laughing] 23 00:00:55,708 --> 00:00:56,875 Everyone smile! 24 00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:59,458 -[all laughing] -Yep, I'm happy. 25 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:01,750 So happy. 26 00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:04,791 -[cheerful music stops] -I meant, happy with the new couch? 27 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:06,750 Oh right. 28 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:07,791 Yeah. 29 00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:09,791 And what you're saying isn't even true. 30 00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:11,916 You're not happy. We can all see that. 31 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,375 [angrily] You were the only one who didn't smile in the family picture. 32 00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:17,000 I'm happy. Really. 33 00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:21,041 Papa, it's so nice that you chose me, but just admit it, will you? 34 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:22,541 Admit what? 35 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:23,833 That you miss rapping. 36 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:25,958 [pensive music playing] 37 00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:29,041 [Tupac] So Toni started thinking about the past few weeks. 38 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,666 [quacks] 39 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,083 [man] You're a piece of shit, Toni Fleischer! 40 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,166 [Tupac] Of course he missed rapping. 41 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,750 Toni missed rapping more than anything else. 42 00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:52,375 But he made a choice. He chose Schitten, he chose Charly. 43 00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,583 And he wanted to think it was all great. 44 00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:55,916 I don't miss anything, okay? 45 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,208 -You-- -Don't miss anything. 46 00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,875 Everything's great. My life's great. Schitten's great. Great, great, great. 47 00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:04,666 [Tupac] He hoped that by saying it often enough, it'd eventually come true. 48 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,500 This is great. I mean, I love it, this is great. 49 00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:09,583 Great. Really great. 50 00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:10,958 Quit hassling me! 51 00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:13,875 [man] Um… 52 00:02:13,958 --> 00:02:15,083 [Toni] I love the couch! 53 00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:16,500 [sighs] 54 00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,833 It's very nice. 55 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,000 Yup. 56 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,250 We need a solution for this. 57 00:02:28,708 --> 00:02:30,541 I wanted my papa to choose me. 58 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,500 But that was wrong. 59 00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,833 He's unhappy and he misses rapping. 60 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,250 And there's only one person who can help him now. 61 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,291 This is Mr. Paule. 62 00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:42,708 Toni's best friend. 63 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:44,333 Please, sir. 64 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:47,375 We're begging you to come to the premiere of our school play 65 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,166 and give my papa one last chance. 66 00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:51,625 [laughs] 67 00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:54,541 No. 68 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,625 [hip-hop playing] 69 00:02:58,583 --> 00:02:59,416 [Paule] Charly… 70 00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:02,125 close your eyes for a sec, please. 71 00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,458 [groaning, brief clinking] 72 00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:06,958 CRAP HAPPENS 73 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,666 -[radio jingle playing] -[woman] ♪ News from Schitten ♪ 74 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:10,791 [man] Advertisement. 75 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,333 -[dramatic music playing] -[student] Veronica Ferres presents… 76 00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:16,208 the children of the Veronica Ferres Comprehensive School. 77 00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,291 [all] Our Shining Sun. 78 00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:20,208 [student] One crew. 79 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,375 One mission. 80 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,333 Tonight. 81 00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:27,416 The event that everyone's been waiting for. 82 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,916 Armageddon. 83 00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,166 [crying] 84 00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:35,250 [student] Adapted and directed by… 85 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,708 -[distorted screaming] -[student] …Mr. Paule. 86 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:42,500 Sponsored by Veronica Ferres. 87 00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:44,875 SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL THEATER 88 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,250 TODAY: ARMAGEDDON TOMORROW: THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW 89 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,916 [Tupac] The day of the premiere was here. 90 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,833 SOLD OUT 91 00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,250 Careful under the asteroid. 92 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,833 One hour until showtime! 93 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,833 Not here, you idiots! 94 00:03:56,916 --> 00:03:58,791 [Tupac] Preparations were in full swing. 95 00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:01,166 Check this out. This one moves the asteroid. 96 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:03,958 [tweets] 97 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:04,916 This one? 98 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,833 This makes it crash onto stage. 99 00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:09,833 But we're not doing that, because of Kevin's "accident." 100 00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:13,958 Mr. Toni? Soundcheck time, okay? 101 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,500 Yeah. 102 00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:19,333 [Tupac] And Toni did what people in his family always did 103 00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:21,208 whenever things got hard. 104 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:26,583 [crowd chanting] Toni! Toni! Toni! 105 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:30,541 [chanting continues] 106 00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:31,916 [chanting fades] 107 00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,541 Test, test. 108 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,750 -[Tupac] He buried his feelings. -Microphone's ready. 109 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,083 [Tupac] But Charly was ready to force him into happiness tonight. 110 00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:42,791 [quietly] All according to plan? 111 00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:44,250 The elk is taking a leak. 112 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,541 What? 113 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,416 Well, yeah. All good, all good. 114 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,166 Okay, folks, gather round. [claps] 115 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,916 Listen up, everyone. 116 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,791 We're finally premiering. 117 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,416 -[sentimental music playing] -Armageddon. 118 00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:01,208 Adapted and directed by me. 119 00:05:01,791 --> 00:05:02,791 Paule. 120 00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,916 And it fills me with joy, 121 00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:07,708 -[music swells] -And with pride-- 122 00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:09,750 -[music stops] -Can you not pick your nose, Claudi? 123 00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,125 Sorry, Mr. Paule. 124 00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:12,125 It's no big deal. 125 00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:14,291 In the Middle Ages… 126 00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:16,416 -[music restarts] -…actors who failed on stage 127 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,000 were tied up to horses and ripped into pieces. 128 00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,291 What I'm trying to say is… 129 00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,583 not everything was bad back then. 130 00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:28,208 Okay. 131 00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:31,208 Let's open the doors. 132 00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:33,916 Toni, head over to the control console. 133 00:05:34,916 --> 00:05:36,041 And you… 134 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:38,625 [inhales shakily] 135 00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,500 have fun. 136 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,291 [laughs awkwardly] Oh… 137 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,208 I'm so proud. 138 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:46,833 Of me. 139 00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:47,833 [sobs] 140 00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:49,083 Break a leg, champ. 141 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,791 Where's Grandpa Johnny? 142 00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:53,875 I mean, he said he wanted to come by before the show starts. 143 00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,333 [mysterious music playing] 144 00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:57,750 [Tupac] Charly had good reason to worry. 145 00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,583 The asparagus season was over, 146 00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:04,000 but a person like Veronica Ferres would never let a harvest cycle hold her back. 147 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,666 They've already harvested it all. 148 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,208 Not a single blue asparagus left? 149 00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,208 So what's the Mayor's next move, then? 150 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:13,791 That's what I'm wondering too. 151 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,833 [Nancy sighs] 152 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,208 Okay. Nancy-Pants, can you wonder a bit faster, 153 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,833 'cause we're running late for the play, 154 00:06:20,916 --> 00:06:23,750 and Charly has a tip-top plan for Toni actually, y'know? 155 00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:25,833 I don't believe it. 156 00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,583 Get outta here! Get lost! 157 00:06:28,666 --> 00:06:30,125 Argh! 158 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,375 Those bastards. 159 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,041 [Nancy whimpers] 160 00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:40,583 [gasps] 161 00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:41,958 Hello there. 162 00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:44,041 Oh! 163 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:48,125 [front of the house call ringing] 164 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,000 [Tupac] Apart from Johnny and Nancy, all of Schitten was there. 165 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:52,833 Nance-mouse, it's me again. 166 00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:54,208 Do you still love me? 167 00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,166 Please call me back, I'm worried. 168 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,291 [Tupac] Everyone was there. 169 00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,291 [in stupid voice] I say, with Dr. Snuts, what you see is what you get. 170 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,291 [woman] Oh, sure. 171 00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:03,833 I gave him 20 marks! Can you believe that? 172 00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:06,791 What? That's almost 15 francs! That's unbelievable. 173 00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:08,041 [man] Oh, Tropical Island? 174 00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:09,083 -[woman] No. -[man] Here? 175 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,208 [woman] Well, Tropical Island changed my life. 176 00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,208 [man] Oh. 177 00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:13,833 [woman] I have Tropical athlete's foot. 178 00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:15,958 Have you seen Nancy? I can't reach her. 179 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:16,958 -Mm-mm. -I'm Doris. 180 00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:17,875 Hi, Doris. 181 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,333 [Tupac] As with every school play, 182 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:23,458 the audience expected nothing less than groundbreaking entertainment. 183 00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:24,791 Theater just sucks [bleep]. 184 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,416 Yeah, man. Actors yammering about feelings. 185 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,166 [bleep] theater, [bleep] feelings. 186 00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:32,958 [Tupac] And the icing on the cake, if things went according to Charly's plan, 187 00:07:33,041 --> 00:07:34,750 would be Toni's performance. 188 00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:37,791 But Toni himself didn't know anything about that yet. 189 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,458 [front of house call bell ringing] 190 00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:41,666 [low growl] 191 00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:44,333 [boy] Woo… 192 00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:45,250 [low growl] 193 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,500 [girl] Bang. 194 00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,416 -[dino growling] -[girl] Baaang. 195 00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,958 I am the Earth. 196 00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:53,125 [audience] Aw. 197 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:57,333 Long ago, back when dinosaurs still roamed 198 00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:59,583 -the forests of this fertile planet… -[growling] 199 00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:01,791 -Stupid. -So dumb. 200 00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:02,875 [Claudi] …a chunk of rock… 201 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:08,208 almost ten kilometers in diameter brought everything to an end. 202 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,208 Ouch! 203 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:16,500 Upon impact, it unleashed the energy of 10,000 atomic bombs. 204 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,958 [audience gasps] 205 00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:19,541 [whispering] So many wonderful bombs. 206 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:25,750 [Claudi] It happened once, and it will happen again. 207 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,166 [audience gasps] 208 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,875 [student in dino suit crying] 209 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:31,625 There's just one question: when? 210 00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:33,958 -When? -[Claudi] The answer is… 211 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,625 now. 212 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:40,708 [playing dramatic music] 213 00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:43,375 A massive asteroid is barreling toward Earth. 214 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:46,291 -[mechanism whirring] -[creaking and rumbling] 215 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:51,208 Wow. 216 00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:55,416 [Claudi] And once again, only a team of American heroes can save the world. 217 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:59,583 ["America the Beautiful" playing on organ] 218 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,083 [Paule] All right, Mr. President. 219 00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:09,041 So in short, you want me and my boys to fly up to the asteroid, 220 00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:10,458 drill a hole in it, 221 00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:13,250 blow it up, and save the whole goddamn planet? 222 00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:18,625 Yeah. 223 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:19,958 [Paule] Great. 224 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,208 So let's get to work. We have a lot to do. 225 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:23,916 [laughing] 226 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,375 [hushed] Nancy, where are you? Things are heating up here. 227 00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:27,625 TOWN HALL 228 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:29,750 -[Johnny crying] -[blade rings] 229 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:32,250 [whimpering] 230 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,333 [sinister music playing] 231 00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,583 [whimpers] 232 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:50,375 [laughs] 233 00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:51,625 -That home-baked? -Mm-hmm. 234 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,500 -[chuckles] -Way to go, Stefan. 235 00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:54,416 -Yeah. -[laughs] 236 00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:04,041 -You first. -[screams] 237 00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:05,625 Come here! 238 00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,166 No, no! 239 00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:09,083 [muffled yelling] 240 00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:11,166 [Johnny screaming] 241 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,375 [gasping] 242 00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,625 [glass clinks] 243 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,416 Whiskey? 244 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,583 Looks like it. 245 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:22,166 Do you want a glass? 246 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:23,791 Uh… Oh, no, thank you. 247 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,166 When I drink, I turn into a different person. 248 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,166 A really annoying person, don't ask. 249 00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,625 Really, really annoying. 250 00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,666 Let's cut to the chase, Johnny Carrera. 251 00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,583 -Oh, okay. -Those piss-drinking Berliners 252 00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:38,666 are buying up all our asparagus. We can't keep up with the orders. 253 00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:41,291 I'm gonna have to start planting on a large scale right away. 254 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,208 Uh-huh. 255 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,041 We tried growing it in the lab. It didn't work, unfortunately. 256 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:48,625 Why does it make your urine odorless? 257 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,750 What's the secret behind this asparagus? 258 00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:52,708 What do you do to it?! 259 00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:54,958 Uh… I really don't know. 260 00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:55,875 [scoffs] 261 00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:57,916 [exhales] Goddammit. 262 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,458 I've tried everything. 263 00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:02,291 [crying] I'm… 264 00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:04,916 I'm a nervous wreck. 265 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000 I'm… I'm terribly sorry. 266 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,583 -[sniffles] -But please don't cry, Mrs. Mayor. 267 00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:13,791 Maybe this special asparagus only grows on our special land. 268 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:22,583 And will you sell me your special land, darling? 269 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,333 I feel honored… 270 00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:30,000 erect, and really confused, but sadly, I can't. [awkward laugh] 271 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,375 Fine. 272 00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:37,958 So, kill him, and we'll kick the family out. 273 00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,708 Wow, that escalated quickly. 274 00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:42,791 The whole town is at the theater anyway. No one will hear him scream. 275 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:44,083 Where are you going, Mom? 276 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,125 I have to work. 277 00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:46,958 Show my face, y'know. 278 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,708 Always work. 279 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:49,833 Never Sergej. 280 00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:53,958 Aw, that breaks my heart. Don't you wanna stay a little longer, please, for Sergej? 281 00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:55,125 Please stay a little longer. 282 00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:56,333 No. 283 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,833 I'm really sorry, Sergej. 284 00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,291 [grunting] 285 00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,750 [Johnny laughing nervously] 286 00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:14,416 Thank you, Melanie. 287 00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:18,458 I'm so dead. 288 00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:19,625 That was neat. 289 00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:22,041 [Johnny screams and cries] 290 00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,833 Please, please, please! 291 00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,833 [Johnny screaming] 292 00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,333 [soft music playing] 293 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:29,500 [Tupac] Back in the theater, 294 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,416 the wise words of Michael Bay echoed from the stage. 295 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,125 [Sascha] Baby, do you think anybody else in the world 296 00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,666 is doing the exact same thing as us, right this moment? 297 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,875 [Köbi] Yeah. Well, I hope so. 298 00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:44,083 Otherwise what the hell are we trying to save? 299 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,541 Dude, that's brilliant. 300 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,166 [Tupac] Seeing Sascha like that, 301 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:52,000 Charly felt happy for her and Köbi for the first time. 302 00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:57,791 And also a little embarrassed that he had a thing for his cousin. 303 00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,750 Who doesn't know the feeling? 304 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,375 Play for me, Ben Affleck. 305 00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:05,166 Uh, yeah, okay. 306 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:09,916 [playing sick riff] 307 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000 [playing "Star-Spangled Banner" à la Jimi Hendrix] 308 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,125 [Tupac quacking] 309 00:13:14,666 --> 00:13:16,083 I think they really like it. 310 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,583 [electric guitar continues] 311 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:20,791 Hello, it's me. 312 00:13:21,541 --> 00:13:22,458 I'm here. 313 00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:26,333 [guitar continues] 314 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:27,833 [Toni] Dalia Müller-Müller? 315 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,250 Dr. Drehws? What the fuck? 316 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,583 Hey, you all set? 317 00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:35,916 Dr. Drehws in the audience right now, bro. 318 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,333 -What? -Yeah! 319 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,875 Why? What's he doing here? 320 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:40,125 -What a coincidence. -Yeah. 321 00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:41,833 [continues playing] 322 00:13:41,916 --> 00:13:44,083 -Go out there and rap for him. -What? 323 00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,625 Well, since he's here, might as well go on stage and rap. 324 00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:47,541 Are you nuts? 325 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:48,708 -Hey, stop! -What? 326 00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,208 Wait, this isn't a coincidence. You did this, didn't you? 327 00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:55,500 What? Nah. Nah. 328 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,291 Yeah, okay. Hear me out, Toni. 329 00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,875 -I'm your friend. -We haven't really-- 330 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:00,166 Your very best friend. Shh. 331 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,375 I know you. You have a gift, man. 332 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:04,666 You belong on stage. 333 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,166 How'd you even make that happen? 334 00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:09,416 Well, Charly and I went to the label and asked him nicely. That's all. 335 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,791 -Really? -Yuh-huh. 336 00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:14,041 [guitar continues] 337 00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:16,416 [Drehws grunting] 338 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,083 Wait… is he tied up? 339 00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:22,041 What did you do, Paule? Are you completely insane? 340 00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,583 Things got out of control, Toni. 341 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,250 -[Drehws] Stop! [groans] -[aluminum thudding] 342 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:29,291 -[grunting and groaning] -[blow landing] 343 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,750 Then we carried him, me and Dalia. Uh… 344 00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,666 We rolled him up in a carpet, 345 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:37,375 held him hostage in my garage for a while, then brought him here to the theater. 346 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,916 [plays final note] 347 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,208 [audience clapping, cheering] 348 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:45,875 I laid into him pretty hard, man. 349 00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:48,458 [Paule whimpering and sobbing] 350 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,458 Paule? 351 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:51,625 -Not now! -Paule! 352 00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,000 [cheering and applause continue] 353 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:55,958 How am I supposed to go on stage and rap now? He hates my guts! 354 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:59,208 [cheering, applause, whistling] 355 00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:01,708 [Dalia] Toni! 356 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:07,625 Listen to me. You're gonna get out there and rap like your life depends on it. 357 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,166 But I don't even want to do this! 358 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,458 I vouched for you, man. 359 00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:12,833 I left my family in the lurch. 360 00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:15,291 -I took a whole lot of debts for you. -What? 361 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,125 -That was edited out. Forget it. -[tudum] 362 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,166 The point is, 363 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,333 we believe in you. 364 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,333 I believe in you. 365 00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:23,666 Toni, 366 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,791 your son did all this for you. 367 00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:29,500 [applause die down] 368 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:32,208 I wish I had a lovable son like Charly. 369 00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,750 I'm standing right here, Papa. 370 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,833 I wanted you to hear that. 371 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:39,500 [grunts] 372 00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,958 The kid's gonna be really tough. [whimpers] 373 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:45,750 [organ playing somber music] 374 00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:47,458 You're in the way, you losers! 375 00:15:47,541 --> 00:15:48,500 Sorry. 376 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,541 [Paule] Lisa, crank up the lights, goddammit! 377 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,041 Shit, shit, shit. 378 00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,875 [Tupac] A battle of emotions raged in Toni's head. 379 00:15:56,958 --> 00:16:02,416 Confusion, stress, a touch of hunger, worry about his son's criminal tendencies… 380 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,791 He was completely overwhelmed. 381 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,291 But that wasn't the only battle going on right now. 382 00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:09,000 -[blade whips] -[Johnny] Ahh! 383 00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,208 [sobbing] Sergej, listen. 384 00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:13,541 You don't have to kill me just because your mom wants it. 385 00:16:13,625 --> 00:16:15,500 You're your own person. 386 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,041 You are Sergej Ferres. 387 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,166 Mama doesn't let me use her name. 388 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,625 Okay, what is it then? 389 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:25,875 Sergej? 390 00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:27,166 Yes, but I mean your last name. 391 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:29,583 Licious. 392 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,125 Sergej Licious? 393 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,125 Yeah. 394 00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,125 Sergej Licious? Really? 395 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,416 Wow. 396 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,791 I admire her three-decade, two-continent spanning film career, 397 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,500 but Veronica Ferres is freaking insane. 398 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:44,500 [blade rings] 399 00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,291 Ahh! No, no, no! 400 00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:48,375 [Tupac] The evening was spiraling out of control. 401 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:49,375 Thank you. 402 00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,208 -[screaming] -[Tupac] Completely. 403 00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,250 Nearly missed the crown jewels, buddy! 404 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,083 -[taser clicking] -[Tupac] Toni was at his wit's end, 405 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,916 thinking things couldn't possibly get any weirder. 406 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,333 Until… 407 00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:10,000 ♪ I could stay awake Just to hear you breathing ♪ 408 00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:11,333 [Tupac] …Paule showed up. 409 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,166 ♪ Watch you smile while you are sleepin' ♪ 410 00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:19,083 ♪ While you're far away and dreamin' ♪ 411 00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:25,166 ♪ I could spend my life In this sweet surrender ♪ 412 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:32,791 ♪ I could stay lost In this moment… forever ♪ 413 00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:36,875 ♪ Where every moment spent with you ♪ 414 00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:41,750 ♪ Is a moment I treasure ♪ 415 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:46,125 ♪ I don't wanna close my eyes ♪ 416 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,416 ♪ I don't wanna fall asleep ♪ 417 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,625 ♪ 'Cause I'd miss you, babe ♪ 418 00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:53,708 ♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪ 419 00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:56,708 ♪ 'Cause even when I dream of you ♪ 420 00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:59,666 ♪ The sweetest dreams would never do ♪ 421 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,666 ♪ I'd still miss you, baby ♪ 422 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:05,041 ♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪ 423 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,083 -[groaning] -[crashing] 424 00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,791 [wheezing cough] 425 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,583 So… much… [coughs] pain. 426 00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:19,083 [groaning] 427 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,708 ♪ I don't wanna miss a thing… ♪ 428 00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:24,458 -[celestial harp playing] -Huh… 429 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,625 Am I dead? 430 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,500 [Wera] Not yet. 431 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,125 Wera! 432 00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:33,541 You cannot give up yet, Johnny Carrera. 433 00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,833 Why not? I want to join you, honey. 434 00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:38,083 Drink, Johnny. Drink! 435 00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,500 [gasps] 436 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:40,416 [Wera] Drink. 437 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:45,791 I guess I drew the shortest straw, so I'm staying behind. To save the world! 438 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,708 -[grunting] -[yelling] 439 00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:50,458 [gasping and panting] 440 00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:51,916 Take care of my little Grace. 441 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,583 -[grunts] -Go marry her! 442 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,666 -Okay! -[both groaning] 443 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,125 Ow! 444 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,083 [Paule grunts] 445 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,166 [grunts] 446 00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:07,375 -[applause] -Toni, do you hear me? On my signal, 447 00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:09,500 you come out and start rapping. Okay? 448 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:12,833 [groaning] 449 00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:13,916 Ugh! 450 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,875 [panting] 451 00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:16,041 [Wera echoing] Drink. 452 00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,541 Ooh, whiskey. 453 00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:20,875 [strains] 454 00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:25,166 -[slurping] -[supernatural rumbling effect] 455 00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:33,000 -[grunting and groaning] -[bones and joints cracking] 456 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,958 [Tupac] The reason Johnny Carrera doesn't drink 457 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:39,083 is because alcohol actually turns him into a different person. 458 00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,416 "Johnny Liquor." 459 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,041 Bunga-Bunga, chubby cheeks. 460 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,500 [Tupac] A corny one-liner machine. 461 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,833 Choo-Choo! All aboard the Amtrak Beer Shits. Next stop, Boozeville! 462 00:19:47,916 --> 00:19:49,500 -[laughing] -[Tupac] An antiquated bully. 463 00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:52,541 So, I'm about to rearrange your teeth, sucka. 464 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,333 -[chuckles] -[Tupac] And a brutal fighter. 465 00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:58,416 Time to die, fucker. 466 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,333 [grunting] 467 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,625 [yells, laughs] 468 00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:07,125 [exclaims, laughs] 469 00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,458 Melanie! 470 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,041 [laughing] 471 00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:13,083 Oh yeah! Thanks, honey. 472 00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:14,750 [yelling] 473 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,375 [laughing] 474 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,500 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Ahh! 475 00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:22,291 [grunts] 476 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:23,208 YOU, VOTE FOR FERRES 477 00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:24,708 [laughing] 478 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,000 [grunts, laughs] 479 00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:28,833 [Sergej whimpers] 480 00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:35,291 All the fighting has reduced the alcohol in my blood. 481 00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:39,791 I need to keep drinking or I won't be able to fight! 482 00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:43,458 I need whiskey to survive. 483 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,458 Oh… Oh no! 484 00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:47,416 [Johnny whimpering] 485 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,125 -Ow! -[grunting] 486 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,291 I was the one who called about the duck in the tree. 487 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,000 [phone ringing] 488 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,208 [sighs] 489 00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,958 24-hour towing service, Fleischer. 490 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,416 [Sergej] A duck is stuck in a tree. 491 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,583 [tree branch breaking, Wera screaming, thunder cracking] 492 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,083 You monster. 493 00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,708 [straining] 494 00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:11,458 [Johnny] No, no, no, no, no! 495 00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:13,833 Not the middle finger of death. 496 00:21:13,916 --> 00:21:15,583 My sensei says it's forbidden. 497 00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:17,833 [Tupac] As Johnny's life flashed before his eyes… 498 00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:19,541 [both yelling] 499 00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:23,791 …Toni thought about what the rest of his life should look like. 500 00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:25,333 [Paule] This is Harry Stamper. 501 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:29,541 A certain person's gotta come on stage before I complete my mission. 502 00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:33,083 A person who hasn't always been nice to their son. 503 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:35,541 But this person has learned their lesson tonight. 504 00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:39,250 I've been an awful mother! [sobs] 505 00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:40,458 [Paule] No. 506 00:21:40,541 --> 00:21:42,291 Uh, nope, no, no. 507 00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,541 I knew you loved me deep down, Papa. 508 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,666 Shut it, Kevin! 509 00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:47,166 [sighs] 510 00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:48,375 I actually mean… 511 00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:52,041 -Toni. -[Tupac] Toni's mind was racing. 512 00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:54,333 If he goes out there now and raps, and it works, 513 00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:57,166 he'll lose Charly because Charly and rap can't work. 514 00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,333 But if he doesn't go out, 515 00:21:58,416 --> 00:22:00,916 he'll never be happy because Toni without rap doesn't work either. 516 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,833 Shh! 517 00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,375 What are you supposed to rap for a tied-up record label boss? 518 00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:05,541 Come on, what are you doing? 519 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,958 -[Tupac] Ugh, it's too much pressure! -Just keep acting. 520 00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,458 [Paule groaning] 521 00:22:10,541 --> 00:22:13,125 [Paule] Ah, Toni has to come on stage and rap. 522 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,333 [Toni, hushed] Cut that out! 523 00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,750 [groaning] 524 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:18,625 [Paule] Or Harry Stamper will be done for good. [groans] 525 00:22:18,708 --> 00:22:20,166 [Johnny screaming and crying] 526 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,166 [humming from finger] 527 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,166 [woman] Hey! 528 00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:28,833 Get your hands off my Papa. 529 00:22:28,916 --> 00:22:30,291 Aww! 530 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:37,916 [distorted yelling] 531 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:38,916 [distorted] Whoa! 532 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,791 [Nancy continues yelling] 533 00:22:40,875 --> 00:22:42,083 [distorted screaming] 534 00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:43,583 [distorted yelling] 535 00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:44,666 [distorted screaming] 536 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,333 SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL 537 00:22:46,416 --> 00:22:47,625 [distorted yelling] 538 00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250 Ahh! 539 00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:54,375 [exhales] 540 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,375 Well, guess you could say he got stamped out. 541 00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,208 -Shut it, Johnny. -Okay. 542 00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:05,375 Wait, you were tied up, right? How did you free yourself? 543 00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:07,875 I've been married 20 years. I'm an expert in bondage. 544 00:23:07,958 --> 00:23:09,916 Sergej, you're right. 545 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,791 Your mother should be with you when you… 546 00:23:12,416 --> 00:23:13,791 Goddammit. 547 00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:15,458 [exhales] 548 00:23:17,708 --> 00:23:20,000 You'll never take me alive. 549 00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:22,750 -Huh! -[smoke hissing] 550 00:23:22,833 --> 00:23:25,250 [Johnny] What a graceful way to make an exit. 551 00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:27,791 -We have to follow her. -Can't we do that later? 552 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:31,666 If we hurry, we might make it in time to catch the finale at the theater. 553 00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:33,833 -Sounds good. -[excited grunts] 554 00:23:33,916 --> 00:23:36,791 Ahh! Ugh! 555 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,916 -Come on, Toni. -You're scaring the children! 556 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,583 [groaning] 557 00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:42,291 -Shit. -[Tupac] In that moment, 558 00:23:42,375 --> 00:23:45,583 Charly and Toni operated like father and son for the first time. 559 00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:46,875 [Charly] Papa? 560 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:47,916 [Tupac] Telepathically. 561 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:48,833 [Charly] Papa? 562 00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:50,291 [Toni] Huso? That you? 563 00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:51,375 What? 564 00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:53,958 No, it's Charly. Who's Huso? 565 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,375 Uh… Never mind. How can I hear your thoughts? 566 00:23:57,458 --> 00:23:58,791 Communicating telepathically. 567 00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:00,666 -Wow, really? Cool. -Mm-hmm. 568 00:24:01,208 --> 00:24:02,291 [screaming] 569 00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:06,458 [Toni] Okay, first of all, you're grounded for kidnapping a record label boss. 570 00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:08,625 [Charly sighs] Yeah, okay. Okay. 571 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:09,958 Now get out there and rap. 572 00:24:10,041 --> 00:24:13,208 But what do we do if I make it and my career takes off? 573 00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,208 What about us? 574 00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:16,625 -I won't have any time. -I know. 575 00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:18,333 [Toni] It'll be fucking exhausting. 576 00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:21,000 Papa, we'll figure it out together. 577 00:24:22,625 --> 00:24:23,791 Grandma likes the idea too. 578 00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:30,625 [Wera] Do something right for once, kid. Go out there and rap. 579 00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,250 [exhales] 580 00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:42,208 [keyboard playing touching music] 581 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:00,666 Uh… 582 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,541 Hello. 583 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:05,833 [Toni clears throat] 584 00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:11,125 ♪ Uh, aw yeah, straight outta Schitten ♪ 585 00:25:11,208 --> 00:25:13,708 ♪ They said I'd never make it With the rhymes that I've written ♪ 586 00:25:13,791 --> 00:25:16,208 ♪ On the microphone Escaping where I'm from ♪ 587 00:25:16,291 --> 00:25:18,791 ♪ And then that's when The fame and money would come ♪ 588 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:21,583 ♪ And yet I thought My life was much harder ♪ 589 00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:24,208 ♪ But nothing could prepare me For being a father ♪ 590 00:25:24,916 --> 00:25:29,125 ♪ Can you understand the plight Of becoming a parent overnight? ♪ 591 00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:31,541 ♪ Without a game plan How could I do this? ♪ 592 00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:34,083 ♪ My stepfather is younger than me I insist ♪ 593 00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:36,791 ♪ A real kooky dude Sick motherfucker ♪ 594 00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:39,458 ♪ You might call him a schmuck But me, I call him Papa ♪ 595 00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:42,083 ♪ Take care of others Is what you gotta do ♪ 596 00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,250 ♪ But living for myself Was all that I knew ♪ 597 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:47,166 ♪ It's like, on this planet Is where I landed ♪ 598 00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:49,416 ♪ Orbiting around myself, goddammit ♪ 599 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:53,958 ♪ All I wanted was to fend for myself ♪ 600 00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:59,208 ♪ I wouldn't listen to no one else ♪ 601 00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:04,416 ♪ We're all alone together The human race ♪ 602 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,708 ♪ On this lonely trip Through outer space ♪ 603 00:26:07,791 --> 00:26:09,750 FENCE PAINT 5 LITERS 604 00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:13,166 ♪ On this lonely trip Through outer space ♪ 605 00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,583 ♪ I used to think Schitten was really a dump ♪ 606 00:26:17,666 --> 00:26:20,083 ♪ Until I realized it's the people That makes my heart pump ♪ 607 00:26:20,166 --> 00:26:22,333 ♪ Paule, you're the biggest Clown in town ♪ 608 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:25,125 ♪ But truth is You're the best friend that I've found ♪ 609 00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:28,000 ♪ Karo, your next wedding I'll be rapping a song ♪ 610 00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:30,541 ♪ And Kaia, soon we'll be Blowing shit up with your bombs ♪ 611 00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:32,916 ♪ We got it covered The policeman's my sis ♪ 612 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,666 ♪ Nancy's the best Fleischers never snitch ♪ 613 00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,875 ♪ And Jörg, my brother-in-law I'm now admitting ♪ 614 00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:40,625 ♪ You're the number one Best dentist in Schitten ♪ 615 00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:41,750 ♪ And I miss her ♪ 616 00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,083 ♪ Although Mama is gone ♪ 617 00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:45,750 ♪ But her nagging and bitching ghost Still carries on ♪ 618 00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:48,000 ♪ Gyeah, from Schitten I tried to flee ♪ 619 00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:50,833 ♪ 'Cause I left Schitten Schitten never left me ♪ 620 00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:53,041 ♪ Who'd have thought That I could ever be a dad ♪ 621 00:26:53,125 --> 00:26:56,041 ♪ So on your feet, Schitten Let's give Charly a hand ♪ 622 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:56,958 [all cheering] 623 00:26:57,041 --> 00:27:00,333 ♪ All I wanted was to fend for myself ♪ 624 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:05,416 ♪ I wouldn't listen to no one else ♪ 625 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:10,750 ♪ We're all alone together The human race ♪ 626 00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:14,166 ♪ On this lonely trip Through outer space ♪ 627 00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:19,958 ♪ On this lonely trip Through outer space ♪ 628 00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:21,416 [music ends] 629 00:27:24,416 --> 00:27:25,250 Wow. 630 00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:30,458 [gag pops] 631 00:27:34,166 --> 00:27:35,791 Bravo! 632 00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,875 -Yeah! -[all cheering and applauding] 633 00:27:39,541 --> 00:27:40,583 Yeah, man! 634 00:27:40,666 --> 00:27:42,875 Woo-hoo! Hell yeah! 635 00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:44,916 [Tupac] Everyone cheered for Toni. 636 00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:48,875 The entire town, and his family. 637 00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:55,166 [all chanting] Toni! Toni! Toni! 638 00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,333 [Tupac, emotionally] Family. 639 00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,291 My family. 640 00:27:59,291 --> 00:28:01,208 My family is dead. 641 00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:02,500 Because of Toni! 642 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,375 Toni! [quacks] 643 00:28:06,208 --> 00:28:07,541 Time for revenge. 644 00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:08,458 [quacks] 645 00:28:08,541 --> 00:28:09,958 [creaking and rumbling] 646 00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:10,958 Shit. 647 00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:14,083 [all gasping] 648 00:28:16,791 --> 00:28:18,458 Whoa, what? 649 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,125 [all] Shit! 650 00:28:23,166 --> 00:28:24,125 [Charly] Papa? 651 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:27,333 [groans softly] 652 00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:30,208 -[wry country note playing] -[distant dog barking] 653 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,208 -[grunts] -Papa. 654 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:37,916 Papa. 655 00:28:39,916 --> 00:28:40,916 [laughs softly] 656 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,083 [Johnny] Teddy Bear! 657 00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:43,250 Huh… 658 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,375 [Jana] What a perfect evening. 659 00:28:46,416 --> 00:28:48,791 And we owe all of it to only one person. 660 00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:52,708 -Paule. -[Toni] What? 661 00:28:52,791 --> 00:28:55,000 Paule. That play was [bleep] wonderful. 662 00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:58,333 Uh… [stammers] Thank you? 663 00:28:58,416 --> 00:29:00,583 I mean, you directed it, acted in it, you sang. 664 00:29:00,666 --> 00:29:01,916 The genius of Schitten. 665 00:29:03,166 --> 00:29:04,041 Paule. 666 00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:10,791 [all joining in chanting] Paule, Paule, Paule! 667 00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:12,125 -Paule! -[Toni] Hello… 668 00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:13,833 -[chanting continues] -Hello… 669 00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:15,875 -Hello, guys, can I just… -[chanting stops] 670 00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,458 -[Toni exhales] -Oh yes, of course. 671 00:29:18,041 --> 00:29:19,833 Best friend. [giggles] 672 00:29:21,291 --> 00:29:22,208 [sighs] 673 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,708 -Dr. Drehws… -Mm-hmm? 674 00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:26,750 Did I pull it off? 675 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,416 Of course. [laughs] 676 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,958 -[people chuckling] -[sighs in relief] 677 00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:34,708 I'll see you Monday in the studio. 678 00:29:34,791 --> 00:29:36,041 [all laughing] 679 00:29:36,125 --> 00:29:41,541 Okay. Let's go to the junkyard, y'all. Let's find [bleep] to blow up! 680 00:29:41,625 --> 00:29:45,791 [all cheering] 681 00:29:45,875 --> 00:29:46,708 [woman] All right! 682 00:29:49,541 --> 00:29:50,750 Well, you did it. 683 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,375 I'm proud of you, Dad. 684 00:29:58,291 --> 00:29:59,291 Thank you. 685 00:30:00,041 --> 00:30:00,958 For everything. 686 00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,166 [groaning] 687 00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:05,583 Sorry. 688 00:30:05,666 --> 00:30:06,791 -It's okay. -Sorry, sorry. 689 00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:08,083 It's good, it's good. 690 00:30:09,291 --> 00:30:10,625 Let's get you home now, champ. 691 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:12,041 Don't call me that. 692 00:30:12,125 --> 00:30:15,916 [Instrumental version of "What Is Love" by Haddaway playing on organ] 693 00:30:22,541 --> 00:30:23,666 That should do it. 694 00:30:26,083 --> 00:30:28,333 [Tupac] Yep, that's how the story ended. 695 00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:29,416 [happy sigh] 696 00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:31,583 After that, it was your typical "ever after." 697 00:30:31,666 --> 00:30:33,708 Toni was successful, had a great time with Charly, 698 00:30:33,791 --> 00:30:35,833 lived a long life, had 30 or so grandkids, 699 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,375 did a lot for the duck population in Brandenburg. 700 00:30:38,458 --> 00:30:40,541 You know, just good stuff all around. 701 00:30:40,625 --> 00:30:43,458 As president of the Toni Fleischer Foundation for Waterbirds 702 00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:47,041 and the German Rap Monuments, I'd like to thank you for your attention. 703 00:30:47,125 --> 00:30:49,000 -[quacking] -Take care of yourselves. 704 00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:51,625 Call your parents. Be kind. 705 00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:52,916 Tupac out. 706 00:30:57,875 --> 00:30:59,041 [Toni] Um… 707 00:30:59,541 --> 00:31:03,041 Oh shit. [exclaiming shakily] 708 00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:07,041 [yelling weakly] 709 00:31:07,916 --> 00:31:10,833 Shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit! 710 00:31:10,916 --> 00:31:12,791 Oh… 711 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,500 ["What Is Love" continues] 712 00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:34,291 ["What Is Love" ends] 713 00:32:34,375 --> 00:32:36,375 [hip-hop playing] 714 00:32:45,666 --> 00:32:48,250 [Toni] ♪ Giving my mom some dick? Well, truth be told ♪ 715 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:51,208 ♪ You're too late, my mom's dead Her freaking body is cold ♪ 716 00:32:51,291 --> 00:32:53,416 ♪ So maybe find someone else To ride your dick ♪ 717 00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:56,500 ♪ I just got the call With strikes of lightning she was hit ♪ 718 00:32:57,333 --> 00:32:58,875 ♪ That's why them jokes ain't rich ♪ 719 00:32:58,958 --> 00:33:01,958 ♪ But Svenni's right I'm a fat, useless bitch ♪ 720 00:33:02,041 --> 00:33:04,625 ♪ I always thought that One day I'd be Tupac ♪ 721 00:33:04,708 --> 00:33:07,250 ♪ But nowadays Everyone's encouraging me to stop ♪ 722 00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,916 ♪ I left my small town To prove that I'm an innovator ♪ 723 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,791 ♪ It turns out I'm just A corny, phony imitator ♪ 724 00:33:12,875 --> 00:33:15,500 ♪ When I was young and fresh I used to spit the nicest ♪ 725 00:33:15,583 --> 00:33:18,333 ♪ I guess I paid the prices Going through midlife crisis ♪ 726 00:33:18,416 --> 00:33:20,666 ♪ Now we're here again Rapping at some world-weary kid ♪ 727 00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:23,291 ♪ Myriad of raps Although he's never had his period ♪ 728 00:33:23,375 --> 00:33:26,166 ♪ My whole life I just knew That I was gonna blow ♪ 729 00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,791 ♪ But when you watch your life go by That ain't the way it goes ♪ 730 00:33:28,875 --> 00:33:31,166 ♪ All my life I knew I'd be a master rapper ♪ 731 00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:34,208 ♪ But my resume just says that I make pizza faster ♪ 732 00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:36,583 ♪ Believe in me? Not even my moms ♪ 733 00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:39,291 ♪ Ashamed for 10 years I never went home ♪ 734 00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,375 ♪ Shit, man Mom gave it to me straight ♪ 735 00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:44,708 ♪ There was no way I would ever make it With the rhymes that I create ♪ 736 00:33:44,791 --> 00:33:47,375 ♪ But I'm still on it Realizing that I'm a pawn ♪ 737 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:50,250 ♪ Dime a dozen, chasing a bullshit dream Until time is gone ♪ 738 00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:53,000 ♪ Fuck it 'Cause it's too late for that, y'all ♪ 739 00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,541 ♪ I think I should just leave it all ♪ 740 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:57,333 [duck quacking] 741 00:33:57,416 --> 00:34:00,208 [water flowing] 742 00:34:00,291 --> 00:34:01,250 [duck quacks] 743 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:08,541 [multiple ducks quacking] 744 00:34:12,541 --> 00:34:14,541 -[duck quacks] -[truck door opens and closes]