1
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,141
Would you listen to that?

2
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:13,796
What?

3
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:16,146
It's quiet in this house

4
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:20,194
for the first time
in four years.

5
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,239
We can actually
get some work done

6
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,589
and not be disturbed.

7
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:25,764
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

8
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,517
[MUSIC STOPS]

9
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,605
[LAUGHING]

10
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,477
Hey, cool.

11
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,174
I'm glad I caught you guys
while you were taking a break.

12
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,308
Totally awesome news, man.

13
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,179
The Chamber of Commerce
is holding a contest

14
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,747
to see who can write the best
song about Port Washington.

15
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:54,880
The winner gets 200 bucks.

16
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,970
And let me guess.

17
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:03,106
You've written some sort
of toneless,
mind-numbing drivel.

18
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:04,194
Totally.

19
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,848
[LAUGHING]

20
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,719
It's called "The Port
Washington's Cool Blues."

21
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,591
All right.
You ready for this one?

22
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:10,940
Check it out.

23
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,811
[STRUMMING THE GUITAR]

24
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:18,948
♪ Port Washington's cool
Port Washington's cool

25
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,168
♪ It's got a totally bitchin' hardware store

26
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,083
♪ And all you can eat
fish fry for 3.95

27
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,519
♪ But don't eat the halibut

28
00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:26,173
♪ Cause it'll make you
blow chunks

29
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:27,870
♪ And Uncle Frank and Carol
live here

30
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,350
♪ That's why
Port Washington's cool ♪

31
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,961
[LAUGHING]

32
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,093
So what do you think?

33
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,096
I think I'm
getting a headache.

34
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,532
You know what?

35
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,229
I got a totally killer
remedy for that.

36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,752
Check this one out.

37
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,798
It's called the headache
blues. You ready?

38
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,278
[STRUMMING THE GUITAR]

39
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:52,895
♪ I got the blues
I got the blues

40
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,681
♪ I got the gee
my head is pounding

41
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,205
♪ I feel like
I'm gonna blow chunks

42
00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,641
♪ And my ears are gonna bleed

43
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,556
♪ And my eyes are gonna pop out of my skull

44
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,601
♪ And my head hurts
my head hurts

45
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,168
♪ My head hurts blues ♪

46
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,432
[LAUGHING]

47
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,130
You're feeling better already,
aren't you?

48
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,174
[LAUGHING]

49
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,791
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

50
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,358
♪ The dream wide broken

51
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,143
♪ Seemed like all was lost

52
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,970
♪ What would be the future

53
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,886
♪ Could you pay the cost?
You wonder

54
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:31,542
♪ Will there ever be
a second time around?

55
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,460
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
when the tears are over

56
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,375
♪ And the moment has come

57
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:42,510
♪ Say "My lord I think
I found someone"

58
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:46,253
♪ And no one would be better
To be putting it together

59
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,603
♪ For the second time around

60
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,306
♪ Step by step

61
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,569
♪ Day by day

62
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,136
♪ A fresh start over

63
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,920
♪ A different hand to play

64
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,009
♪ The deeper we fall

65
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,794
♪ The stronger we stay

66
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,492
♪ And we'll make it better

67
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,842
♪ The second time around ♪

68
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,504
[PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING]

69
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:29,992
Hey, guys.

70
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,211
Hey, Al.

71
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,959
Hey, I'm using that to get
rid of the puffiness
around my eyes.

72
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:43,179
Oh, you look fine.

73
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,486
What's that green goo
on your face?

74
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,141
It's home-made facial mask
made out of avocado.

75
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,534
Avocado?

76
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,409
Mmm, yeah.
This is pretty good.

77
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,933
You know, your face
makes a great party platter.

78
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,022
Hey, stop eating my face.

79
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,024
I'm trying to get ready
for a big college party

80
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,418
Dana's taking me to
this weekend.

81
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,897
College party?

82
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,769
That sounds great!

83
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,814
Come on, take me.
Please? Please?
Please? Please?

84
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,295
This party is only
for college students.

85
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:15,429
And very mature high school
seniors like myself.

86
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,216
I can be just as mature
as you.

87
00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:21,478
Can not.
Can too.

88
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,045
Nuh-huh.
Yeah-huh.

89
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,307
Oh, shut up, pee-wee.
You shut up, dip-face.

90
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:25,352
[BOTH BICKERING]

91
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,050
Hello!

92
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,834
Maybe I should go
to this party by myself.

93
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,663
This isn't fair!

94
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,710
You know, the three of us have
been hanging out a lot lately,

95
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,886
and now that you guys
are doing something cool,

96
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,279
you're cutting me out.

97
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,632
Fine. You can come.

98
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:47,156
Yes! All right!
Party! Party!

99
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,114
Hey, but you better not act

100
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,682
like a little 15-year-old
teenybopper and embarrass us.

101
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,555
Don't worry.

102
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:58,036
No one at the party
will know I'm 15.

103
00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,777
They will too.
They will not.

104
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:00,996
Will too.
Will not.

105
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,302
Yes-huh.
Nuh-huh.

106
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,390
Oh, shut up.
Oh, you shut up.

107
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,478
BOTH:
Make me!

108
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:05,827
BOTH:
Jinx!

109
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,916
[BOTH COUNTING]

110
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,700
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

111
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,323
Man, dad has a big head.

112
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,719
Yeah, and a bunch of stupid
hats to cover it up.

113
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,592
Man, you're a genius
if you can sell all
this stuff.

114
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,028
Oh, just put the boxes
anywhere.

115
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,986
Oh, no problem.

116
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,684
We'll go
get the rest of the stuff.

117
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,121
Thanks, guys.

118
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,777
Whoa!

119
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,256
What's going on here?

120
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,258
Well, I just got sick
of all the clutter

121
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651
so we're gonna
have a yard sale

122
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,044
and get rid
of all this useless junk.

123
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,395
Junk?

124
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:58,009
Oh, no, honey.
This isn't junk.

125
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:01,056
Look, this is a perfectly
good moose head.

126
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:05,539
It has not been perfectly good
since it came off the moose.

127
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:08,585
I bagged this moose myself.
You hit it on the interstate.

128
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,068
It was hunting season.

129
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,200
Frank, it is going.

130
00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:18,378
Oh, come on, honey. This is
all priceless Americana here.

131
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,727
Like look at this.

132
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,772
This "Beer on Tap" sign.

133
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,687
I mean, this
is from the 50s.

134
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,689
Gee, you'd have to go
all the way to a bar

135
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:27,996
to see one of those.

136
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,998
Oh, no, you see,
this one's great.

137
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:33,958
Because, when you turn it on,

138
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:37,179
the little bear,
he takes a drink...

139
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,530
and then he--

140
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,750
He pees in the stream.

141
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,408
Okay. This can go.

142
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,629
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL ROCK
MUSIC PLAYING]

143
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,719
[CHATTERING]

144
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,332
Are not.
Are too.

145
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,551
Yes-huh.
Uh-huh.

146
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:02,639
Oh, shut up.
You shut up.

147
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,293
Would you two idiots shut up?

148
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,865
Wow. There are a lot
of really hot guys here.

149
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,257
Brace yourself, boys.

150
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,781
Karen Foster
is in the house.

151
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,524
Yeah, like they couldn't tell
from the two gallons

152
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:18,829
of perfume you've got on.

153
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:27,708
Where did those come from?

154
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,320
It's a miracle bra.
I'll say.

155
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,456
Yup. It works great,
doesn't it?

156
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,850
[LAUGHING]

157
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,592
Oh, no, no, no, no.

158
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,899
There will be
no miracles today.

159
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:50,513
But, I thought you wanted me
to look like an 18-year-old.

160
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,601
Yeah.

161
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,994
An 18-year-old student.

162
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,996
Not an 18-year-old stripper.

163
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,999
Stripper?

164
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,001
Well, I had no idea
they looked that good.

165
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,701
Excuse me, but while you two
are gabbing,

166
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,487
some of the best guys
are being snapped up.

167
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,011
Now, let's cut the chatter

168
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,317
and see if we can find
a few good men.

169
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,553
AL: We have a winner.

170
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,598
[BEEPING]

171
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,211
Ooh, baby, cut me
a slice of that.

172
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,350
Forget it, junior.
You are way
out of your league.

173
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,396
You don't know the first thing
about getting a guy like that

174
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,789
to dance with you.

175
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,269
I know as much as you do.

176
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,619
Yeah, right.

177
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,664
Now, watch an expert

178
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,492
and prepare to be amazed.

179
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,242
[EXCLAIMS]
Excuse me.

180
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,592
Hi. My name is Karen.

181
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:10,680
Hi, Karen.

182
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,639
[LAUGHING]

183
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,902
Would you mind moving?
You're blocking
the punch bowl.

184
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,439
Back so soon?

185
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,792
He's studying
to be a priest.

186
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,491
Yeah, right.

187
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,711
I'll show you how to get a guy
to dance with you.

188
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,761
Hi. Wanna dance?

189
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:48,979
Sure.

190
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,075
He dances pretty well
for a priest.

191
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,602
What's your name?
Al.

192
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:03,994
I'm Jeremy.

193
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,561
I haven't seen you
around campus.

194
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:06,954
Are you a freshman here?

195
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,304
No. I go to school
somewhere else.

196
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,740
In another state.

197
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,307
Where?
Canada.

198
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,138
Canada State College?

199
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,836
I'm visiting my cousins.

200
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,058
[EXHALES]

201
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,668
Well, thanks.
That was fun.

202
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,844
Yeah. I thought so too.

203
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,585
You know,
it's a little hot in here.

204
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:30,978
Would you like
to go for a walk?

205
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,588
I could show you
around our campus.

206
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,895
Okay, cool.
All right. Come on.

207
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,469
Goodbye, girls.

208
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,384
I'm going on a tour
of the campus

209
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,951
with Father Jeremy.

210
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,607
[AMUSING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING]

211
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:56,307
[PLAYING OFF TUNE]

212
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,358
Oh, hey, Carol.
Check it out.

213
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,795
I wrote an all-new Port
Washington song.

214
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,710
It's even more knarly
than the first one.

215
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:10,017
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.

216
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,497
Oh, wait, come here,
come here, come here,
you gotta give it a listen.

217
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,456
Come on,
you'll love it.

218
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,502
Ready, okay?

219
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:21,942
♪ Come listen to my story about a town that I love

220
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:25,119
♪ It's called Port Washington and it fits me like a glove

221
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:29,123
♪ If you come and visit you can stay right in my van

222
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,648
♪ Parked in the driveway Of the Foster-Lambert clan

223
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,129
♪ 'Cause you know that is... ♪

224
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:39,524
Frank's kids, Carol's too.

225
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:42,049
Well, Cody, you know
of all songs you've ever
written,

226
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,791
that one has the most,
um, words.

227
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,229
[LAUGHS]

228
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,927
Y'all come back now, hear?

229
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,930
[LAUGHS] She loved it.

230
00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:00,110
Sold anything yet?
Nope. Not yet, honey.

231
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,246
$50?

232
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,509
Who's gonna buy a moose head
for $50?

233
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,468
Animal lovers.

234
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,560
You know, Frank, we have been
married for four years now

235
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,388
and I've been meaning
to tell you this
for some time.

236
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:20,217
What's that?
You are a raving lunatic.

237
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,613
Well, I just say, people
will recognize quality

238
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,310
when they see it.

239
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:29,357
Here comes a live one.
Just stand there and watch.

240
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:35,363
Well, hey, buddy. I see
you really know your stuff.

241
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,844
You went right to the man's
lamp there, didn't you?

242
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,671
Solid brassy base,

243
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,152
all new wiring, energy saver
three-way bulb.

244
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,719
How much?

245
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:47,592
Well, I'll let you
have that baby for $15.

246
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,334
I'll give you a quarter.

247
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:55,905
The bulb costs
more than a quarter.

248
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,647
Hey, I'm hauling away
your garbage.
You should pay me.

249
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,781
How much
to haul away that moose?

250
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:03,652
Quarter.

251
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,263
If you throw in the lamp.

252
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,309
Oh, now, wait a minute.
Frank, Frank.

253
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,398
Could I see you over
at the Sporting
goods department

254
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:11,486
for a minute, please?

255
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,577
The nerve of that guy!

256
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,579
He's offering you good money
to haul away your trash.

257
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,276
Don't let him get away!

258
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,191
Carol, I'm not gonna
give away this stuff for free.

259
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:24,107
I had to throw a frozen turkey
20 yards to win that lamp.

260
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,155
You just leave it to me. Okay?

261
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:35,684
Listen, Pal,
sorry we kinda got off

262
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,904
on the wrong foot here.

263
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,644
I can see you're no dummy.

264
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:42,778
You went to the crown jewel
of the whole sale here.

265
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,433
Man, this bad boy's a classic,
isn't it?

266
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,132
Stainless steel blades,
vulcanized rubber grips,

267
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,874
made right here
in the good old US of A.

268
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,747
How much?

269
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,880
I'll let you have it
for 20 bucks.

270
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,274
I'll give you a quarter.

271
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,410
You're starting
to get on my nerves.

272
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,413
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

273
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,332
[CHATTERING]

274
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,516
Grazie, Antonio.

275
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:28,476
Arrivederci.
Arrivederci.

276
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,000
[CHUCKLING]

277
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:38,399
He did not speak
a word of English.

278
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:39,791
I like that in a man.

279
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,578
This party stinks.

280
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,754
I never should've let you
drag me along.

281
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:49,540
Karen. What is your problem?

282
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,542
Twelve guys have asked you
to dance

283
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,327
and one guy asked you
to marry him.

284
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,940
Yeah.
But, Al got the one
I wanted.

285
00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:00,551
Jeremy should be giving me
a tour of the campus
right now.

286
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:03,119
Karen, let it go.

287
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:06,427
You lost one guy
in 18 years.

288
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,561
You see, that's how it starts.

289
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:14,914
First you lose one guy,

290
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,568
next thing you know,
you're Zsa Zsa Gabor

291
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,919
slapping around a policeman
just to get some attention.

292
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,271
Excuse me.
Would you mind moving?

293
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,794
You're blocking
the punch bowl.

294
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,145
See what I mean?
Zsa Zsa.

295
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,192
-Hey, Doug.
-Hey, where's Jeremy?

296
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,628
I thought he was going
to the game with us.

297
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,673
Not likely.

298
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,067
He's giving some girl
one of his infamous
campus tours.

299
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,765
You know, the ones that always
end up in room 302?

300
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,116
Or as he likes to call it,
"The Petting Zoo."

301
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,639
Man, how does he do it?

302
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:45,988
He's got it down to a science.

303
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,251
He puts on
his Luther Vandross CD,

304
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,862
he sits next to her
on the bed and he says,

305
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,690
"I can't believe
I just met you.

306
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,431
"You're so easy to talk to.

307
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,303
"I feel like I've
known you for months."

308
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,521
DOUG:
And that works?

309
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,262
Are you kidding me?

310
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:00,263
He's been to the Promise Land
more times than Moses.

311
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,102
I can't believe
I left my jacket here.

312
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,365
Come on in.

313
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,542
Cool room, Jeremy.

314
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,457
Thanks.

315
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,285
You know, we don't
have to rush back
to the party.

316
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,896
Why don't we just
hang around here and relax?

317
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,724
Okay.
Have a seat.

318
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:36,734
[DOOR CLOSES]

319
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,868
Hey, I just got
a new CD.

320
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,261
Do you like Luther Vandross?

321
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,479
Yeah. He's great.

322
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:46,744
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

323
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,622
You know, I can't believe
I just met you.

324
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,972
You're so easy to talk to.

325
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,626
I feel like I've
known you for months.

326
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,020
Thanks.

327
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,459
Your eyes.

328
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,377
They have
the most incredible color.

329
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,684
Really?

330
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:17,906
Yeah, they have
just the smallest amount
of gold fleck in it.

331
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,605
Thanks.

332
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,129
Yours are kind of nice, too.

333
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,587
Look.

334
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,415
Can we just slow down?

335
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,112
Sure. No problem.

336
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,681
No.

337
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,683
I want to stop.

338
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,467
We're having a great time!

339
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,121
No! Just stop it!

340
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,427
Come on, don't get
all freaked out.

341
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:01,776
Just let me go!

342
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:02,994
It's okay.
Just let me go!

343
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,083
Freeze, slime ball!

344
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,303
Get out of my room!

345
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,088
She's our sister.
So what?

346
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,393
She's 15.

347
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,829
I'm out of here.

348
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,274
[MUSIC STOPS]

349
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,625
Al, are you okay?

350
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,107
Yeah.

351
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,065
I'm okay.

352
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,558
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]

353
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,126
You know...

354
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,607
I don't get it.

355
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,787
I thought he was
a really nice guy.

356
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,143
And...

357
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,450
I thought we were
just gonna kiss.

358
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,062
And the next thing I know...

359
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:17,025
he's trying to make me
lie down on the bed.

360
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,247
Well, Al,
you kind of put yourself

361
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,639
in a bad position.

362
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:25,207
I mean, you're alone
in the guy's room

363
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,774
and no one else
is around.

364
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,558
Karen.

365
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,908
We're supposed to be
making her feel better,
not worse.

366
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,129
She's right.

367
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,697
I was really stupid.

368
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:39,961
No, Al.
This is not your fault.

369
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:43,399
I mean, this guy
is like a professional.

370
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,968
And from what we heard,
you're not the first girl
he brought up here.

371
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,362
Well, thanks,
that makes me
feel real special.

372
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:51,929
Al.

373
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,020
This is why I wasn't sure
you should come

374
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,458
to a college party
in the first place.

375
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,024
I mean, I don't know
that you're ready

376
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,201
to handle guys this age.

377
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,641
Yeah, you're right.

378
00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,776
I guess I'm not as grown up
as I thought I was.

379
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,521
Look.

380
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:19,914
Thanks for looking out for me.

381
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:25,224
Well, you know,

382
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,269
that's what sisters are for,
right?

383
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,193
What are you doing?

384
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,630
One of my favorite things.

385
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,066
It's called revenge.

386
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:50,074
Hey, any of you guys
down there like Luther
Vandross?

387
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:51,815
MAN: I do!

388
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,253
Here he comes!

389
00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,910
You know...

390
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,738
He might need something
to play that on.

391
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,616
All right. Heads up.

392
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:12,358
All right!

393
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:13,620
That felt good.

394
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:14,751
[BOTH LAUGHING]

395
00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:20,453
Yeah, come on, now.

396
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,411
25 bucks is a great price
for a talking scale.

397
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,500
Hey, this is a great
anniversary gift.

398
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,241
Women love to hear
what they weigh
first thing in the morning.

399
00:21:29,157 --> 00:21:30,376
[SIGHS]

400
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:32,552
What a jerk.

401
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:35,337
That guy doesn't know
a real bargain
when he sees one.

402
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:38,253
Frank?
Yeah.

403
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,516
It's almost 5 o'clock.

404
00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:43,693
All we have sold
is a partial deck of cards

405
00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:47,175
and a back-scratcher
for a nickel.

406
00:21:47,262 --> 00:21:49,525
If you count the pizza
we had for lunch,

407
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:51,832
we're $7.95 in the hole.

408
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,575
Hey.

409
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:58,142
That guy's back.
That cigar guy
from this morning?

410
00:21:58,229 --> 00:22:00,319
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Just like I planned.

411
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,582
Let me tell you, this works.
You just sit there
and watch me sell.

412
00:22:02,669 --> 00:22:03,931
[MAN SIGHS]

413
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,717
I see you haven't
sold the lamp yet.

414
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:10,241
In fact,
you haven't sold anything.

415
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,331
How much for me
to buy the whole shebang?

416
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,030
Well...

417
00:22:16,117 --> 00:22:17,814
this is your lucky day.

418
00:22:17,901 --> 00:22:20,077
Because I'm gonna let you
have everything here

419
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:21,601
for 50 bucks.

420
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:24,821
I'll give you a quarter.

421
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:28,738
Sold!

422
00:22:30,131 --> 00:22:31,393
Will you take a check?