1 00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,618 Hi, guys. 2 00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,236 Well, haven't we been a busy little bee. 3 00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:26,069 Karen, honey, is there something you'd like to tell Mommy? 4 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:29,029 This is a pregnancy empathy belly I got from my health teacher. 5 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,943 I have to wear it for a class project. 6 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,468 I've heard about those empathy pads. 7 00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,948 It helps you to know what it's like to feel pregnant, right? 8 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,863 You know, weight gain, breast enlargement, 9 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,084 even presses against your bladder so you have to pee all the time. 10 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,826 Sounds like fun for the whole family 11 00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,959 Yeah well, it is not fun. I mean, this thing weighs a ton. 12 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,874 No wonder Mom's so tired all the time. 13 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:51,486 I've only had it on for an hour and it's killing me. 14 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,923 Man, chicks are such wimps. 15 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,664 JT... 16 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:03,759 Honestly, JT, "chicks are wimps?" 17 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:06,718 I mean, that's probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. 18 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:09,678 That's cause you're not around him that much. 19 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:13,029 Come on, Carol. Being pregnant is no big deal, all right. 20 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,727 Women just milk it for sympathy. 21 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,295 I think I'll just step way over here. 22 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,082 Listen, cave boy, 23 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,694 men wouldn't last 48 hours if they had to be pregnant. 24 00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:27,435 Wanna bet? 25 00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,351 Yeah. 26 00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,962 I'll take a piece of that action. 27 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:36,270 All right, fine, fine. Name your stakes. 28 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,099 All right, let's see. 29 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,057 How about this? All right... 30 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:45,148 The loser has to kneel in front of the winner 31 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:48,717 and say, "I am the weaker sex. 32 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,198 "You are far superior. 33 00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:54,201 I bow down before you and kiss your feet." 34 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,205 Fine, you're on. 35 00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,337 I'll wear the pad this weekend. And so will Dad. 36 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:03,471 Hey, hey, 37 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:06,387 What is this "Dad" stuff? You don't have to drag me into this? 38 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,911 What's the matter, Frank? Don't you think 39 00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:12,697 a big, strong, man like you could handle being pregnant for one little weekend? 40 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,569 Well, I-- I could handle it. 41 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:15,961 - Then it's a bet? - Yeah... 42 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,966 No. Okay, it's a bet. 43 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:24,013 All right, it's on! 44 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:28,322 By this Sunday night, you guys will be kissing our feet. 45 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,324 We'll see about that. 46 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,587 Yeah, I'll get two pads from school tomorrow. 47 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,981 Fine, fine, but make sure mine has big boobs. 48 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,114 If I'm gonna be a chick, I want to be stacked. 49 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:04,156 Wow. I sure hope there's a 58 inch baby in there. 50 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,119 - Hey, Carol. Hey... - Hi. 51 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:17,561 Have you seen Brendan? 52 00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,259 I think he's up in his room. 53 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783 Cool. Hey, I've got a mondo surprise for him. 54 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,350 -Yeah? -Yeah. 55 00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:25,482 His favorite baseball player, Kenny Barton, 56 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,223 he's playing an exhibition game today in Milwaukee. 57 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,921 And I got two primo tickets. 58 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,706 Is it okay if I take him? 59 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:33,534 Well, sure, that's really nice of you. Cool. 60 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,537 I just, you know, I wish that Brendan had a better role model 61 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,365 than Kenny Barton though. 62 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:41,063 Every time I see him on TV, he's spitting tobacco juice 63 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,196 or calling some female reporter, "babe." 64 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,329 Don't worry about that, Carol. 65 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,418 You know, Brendan doesn't pay any attention to that stuff. 66 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:51,813 He just likes Kenny Barton because he's an awesome ballplayer. 67 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,728 -Hey, guys, check this out. -Hey. 68 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:57,079 "Kenny Barton Juicy Chew." Look what I can do. 69 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,869 Now, I can spit just like the pros. 70 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,219 Gee, whatta gift. 71 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,310 Hey, dude. Check it out. I got two tickets to today's game. 72 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,442 -With Kenny Barton? -You betcha'. 73 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,923 Man, hustle it out to the van, maybe we can make batting practice. 74 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,577 - Awesome! - Yeah. 75 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,405 - Brendan, get-- No, stop-- 76 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,971 Brendan-- ... 77 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:21,799 Later, babe. 78 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:27,936 Yeah, we'll work on the "babe" thing on the way to the game, you know. 79 00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,633 Yeah, and the spitting, too. 80 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,767 The spitting, too. No loogies in the kitchen. 81 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,986 Yeah, you got it. Thank you, Carol. 82 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:44,431 Let's go, boys. Get your pregnant butts down here. 83 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:48,783 All right, ladies, it's my pleasure to present that all-singing, all-dancing, 84 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:53,788 all-pregnant entertainment duo, "Francine and Tootie Lambert." 85 00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:36,744 Well, all I can say is, I have never seen a bigger pair of boobs in my life. 86 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:39,616 Yeah, I've got quite a rack on me, don't I? 87 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:43,359 If I wasn't such a gentleman, I'd be all over myself. 88 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:47,537 All right, come on. Honey, I'm tellin' ya, I love being pregnant. 89 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,148 Come and check this out. I can watch TV and just set my beer nuts right there. 90 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,716 This guy kills me. 91 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,372 This is great. 92 00:06:56,459 --> 00:07:00,028 My father and my brother enjoy dressing up like pregnant women. 93 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,160 As if I wasn't screwed up enough already. 94 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,034 Yeah. She thinks she's got problems? 95 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:09,472 These guys are my male role models. 96 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:13,389 Hey, Tootie, what do you say we just sit back and watch the ballgame all day? 97 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,782 Sounds great, Francine. 98 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:20,701 -Not so fast, tubbies. -What? 99 00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:24,356 I have a bunch of errands for the two of you to run. 100 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,229 Supermarket, hardware store, dry cleaners. 101 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,231 Hey, no problem. 102 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,538 Will have these done and be back before the game starts. 103 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,062 Let's go. Here we go. 104 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,543 All right. Just get me out of this whale suit and we'll be on our way. 105 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:40,590 You got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 106 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,941 Mom doesn't get to take off her "whale suit," so neither do you. 107 00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,600 You don't expect us to go out in public like this? 108 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,734 Why not? I do. 109 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,432 Yeah, but you're a chick. 110 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,783 So are you for the next 48 hours. 111 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,832 Could one of you ladies get that? 112 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:07,965 I'll take care of it. 113 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,799 Well hello, cutie, what can I do for you? 114 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,975 Mommy, Mommy! Scary man! 115 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:24,852 Well, well, no, no, no, no, it's -- 116 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:29,509 I don't always look like a woman. It's just for the weekend. 117 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,989 Stay away from my kid, you pervert. 118 00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,214 Bye, girls. 119 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,146 Man, that was the coolest game ever. 120 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:01,453 Kenny Barton hit a home run and you actually caught it for me. 121 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,934 Yeah, I only wish I hadn't caught it with my head. 122 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:10,332 Okay, dude, this is it: the players' locker room. 123 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:14,075 Now just remember, little cuz, just because these guys are professional ballplayers, 124 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,381 you know, they're ordinary "Joes" like you and me. 125 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,862 Right on. 126 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,821 Dude, you're the shortstop-- 127 00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:24,302 Wow, way to turn that double play! 128 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,783 Hey, man, you're the center fielder, all right-- 129 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,003 Way to throw that guy out at home! 130 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:32,963 Cool! Dude, you're the groundskeeper, all right-- 131 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,574 Way to mow that grass! 132 00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:37,838 Hey. 133 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:41,972 I didn't see Kenny. 134 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,713 Yeah, me neither. 135 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,628 Hey, dude, is Kenny Barton coming out? 136 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,151 No. He's got an interview in a few minutes, 137 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,718 then he's probably gonna slip out the back. 138 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:53,027 Great. Now I can't get him to sign my ball. 139 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,856 Well, why not, dude? All we got to do is go inside the locker room. 140 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,640 Well, and how are we gonna do that? 141 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,424 There's a guard. 142 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,383 Dude, you just kick it right there in the chair, all right. 143 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,124 And I distract the guard, get him away from you, 144 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,778 and then you sneak into the locker room. 145 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:05,866 Yeah. That will totally work. 146 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,042 Cool! 147 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,229 Help! Help! Dude! 148 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,013 Hey man, what's going on? 149 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,406 Dude, I'm being mugged! 150 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,669 - Where'd he go? - Man. 151 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:30,107 Really big, mean dude. Hairy. Ugly, wow. Went that way. 152 00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,501 Yeah, yeah. 153 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,375 Okay, yeah, sure. That sounds great. 154 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,204 Book me on Letterman, then call Leno up and see what he pays. 155 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:43,512 Right. And, Sid, listen, let's get cracking on that shoe deal, okay. 156 00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,688 If those jerks want Kenny Barton to be their spokesman, 157 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:48,125 they can pay through the nose. Yeah. Ciao. 158 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,606 Kenny? 159 00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:51,999 You're looking at him, kid. 160 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,131 Wow, you're my favorite player 161 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,568 and I was wondering if you could sign my baseball. 162 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,266 It's the one you hit a home run with. 163 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,007 Sure, kid. 164 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,314 You got fifty bucks? 165 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,926 -For what? -My autograph. 166 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,450 It costs fifty bucks for your autograph? 167 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:12,584 Hey, Kenny Barton's signature is worth a lot of money. I don't just give it away. 168 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,891 Well, I don't have any money, 169 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,546 but I do think you're the greatest baseball player in the whole world. 170 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,417 Yeah, so do I. 171 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,506 That's why I get fifty bucks for my autograph. 172 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,772 Talk to me. 173 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,644 Hey, babe. How ya' doin'? 174 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,428 Nah, nah, no, I'm not busy. 175 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,343 Just some kid here trying to get a freebie... 176 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,912 Yeah, well, what can I say, 177 00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:41,004 it'd all part of being a star. Yeah. 178 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:03,505 Mom, I can't believe you're watching "Three's Company." 179 00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,333 Why? I thought it was a good show. 180 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:08,205 That Chrissy, she really cracks me up. 181 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,779 Let me guess what this one is about. 182 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,563 The girls are wearing short-shorts 183 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,610 and there's some sort of wacky misunderstanding. 184 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,395 All right. 185 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,180 Come on. 186 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:30,401 Okay... There... 187 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:33,491 Well, could somebody help us here? We're pregnant, you know. 188 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,758 Well, lookie here, Maw... 189 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,890 Looks like these big ol' pregnant men are plum tuckered out. 190 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,370 My, my. 191 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:45,503 Okay. 192 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:48,898 Man, these pregnancy pads are torture machines. 193 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,726 My feet are swollen, my back hurts, 194 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,815 and I had to stop and pee every ten minutes. 195 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:57,341 Gee, girls, ready to throw in the towel, yet? 196 00:12:57,428 --> 00:13:00,040 No, no we're not, but I think you cheated, honey. 197 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,737 This thing has to weigh more-than a baby. 198 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,827 And look, my feet are starting to spread. 199 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:08,091 Well, rest up, cause I got some more errands for you to do. 200 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,658 I want you to-stop by the Home Center 201 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,225 and pick up the wallpaper for the baby's room. 202 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,705 And stop by the fruit stand on Route 32. 203 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,317 I need some watermelons for Brendan's class party. 204 00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,927 Watermelons? 205 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:20,408 Those are heavy. Can't they just have raisins? 206 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:26,066 Nope, watermelons. Big ones. 207 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,416 So, we'll take these, groceries into the kitchen, 208 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,722 and you girls let us know when you're ready to admit defeat... 209 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,941 or kiss them. 210 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,815 I got something for you to kiss. 211 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,122 They're so cranky. 212 00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,515 They must be retaining water. 213 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,477 Come on, speed-bumps, we got a melon run to make. 214 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,961 Man, these double D's are back breakers. 215 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,876 I got to get a new bra with some support. 216 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,487 Don't touch them. 217 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,317 I can't believe I used to like these things. 218 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,851 Man. 219 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,765 Well, Edgar, I tell you, with all due respect, 220 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,855 I beg to differ with you, you know. 221 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:19,641 It's tarragon vinegar not balsamic vinegar like everybody says, 222 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,469 if you want to make a good bordelaise, you know. 223 00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:23,514 - I didn't know that, man. - Yeah. 224 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,212 What's the secret to a good meringue? 225 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:28,215 Dude. Cream of tartar, all the way. 226 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,739 -Solid, my brother. -Totally, man. 227 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:33,655 Hey, the "B" man's out. Hey "B" man what's happening? 228 00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,657 I want you to meet a friend of mine, Edgar. 229 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,441 -Edgar, this is my little cousin, Brendan. -Hi, Brendan. 230 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,790 Hi, Edgar. 231 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,923 -Hey? -Come on, Cody, let's go. 232 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,534 -What's wrong with that? -Hey, what's up there, Droopy? 233 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:47,364 Where's the baseball, man? I want to check out the big man's signature. 234 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,018 I threw it in the trash. 235 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,498 You did? Why? 236 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,198 Kenny said he wouldn't sign it unless I gave him fifty bucks. 237 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,071 What a dill weed! 238 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,944 Come on, Cody, let's go home now? 239 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,468 No, no, no, no, no, no. 240 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:06,296 We are not going home. 241 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,342 Fifty bucks! 242 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,431 Dude, we are going in there and having a little chat 243 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,694 with Mr. Kenny "Butt-scratch" Barton. 244 00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,611 Hey, Edgar, dude, man. 245 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,396 I hate to impose on our newly formed friendship and everything, you know, 246 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,878 but, hey, me and my little cuz got to get in there and talk to Kenny Barton. 247 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,706 I'm not supposed to let people in, Cody. 248 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,838 I know that, Edgar. 249 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,884 But, he hurt my little pal here, and I gotta go in there 250 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,104 and give him a little verbal thrashing, if you know what I mean. 251 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,977 In that case, my brother, go right in. 252 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,197 -I hate that punk. -Yeah. 253 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,373 You really tagged the ball in the bottom of the ninth. 254 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,462 What were you thinking about when you went up to homeplate? 255 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,812 Well, Harmon, I'll tell you, I was just trying to stay focused, 256 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:48,034 you know, wait for my pitch. But most of all, I was thinking about my fans. 257 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:51,124 Yeah, what a crock of bat guano. 258 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:56,912 Dude, you don't give a flying "Fig Newton" about your fans. 259 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,436 Pal, we're... we're on the air. 260 00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:03,310 Good, then all those folks at home will know what a lying saccow chips you are. 261 00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:07,140 Hey, who let this guy in here? 262 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,403 I did. You got a problem with that? 263 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,407 Yeah, well, like I was saying-- 264 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,017 Listen, jerkwater... 265 00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,324 My little cuz, Brendan, came down here today 266 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,761 'cause he thought you were the coolest guy in the world. 267 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,676 Dude, you broke his little heart trying to charge him 268 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,895 fifty bucks for your stinking autograph. 269 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,941 Fifty bucks? 270 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,595 Hey, I don't run a charity. 271 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:30,424 My signature's worth big money. I'm a superstar. 272 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:33,644 Yeah, 'cause of little dudes like Brendan. 273 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,559 Man, you should be falling all over yourself 274 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,431 trying to sign baseballs for dudes like him. 275 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,475 Back to you, Kenny. 276 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,785 Look, baseball is business. 277 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:46,570 You want to send a message, call Western Union. 278 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,182 I'm out of here. I got a card show to get to. 279 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,357 Yeah. 280 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,580 What a butt-face! 281 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,453 Well, there you have it. One man's opinion of Kenny Barton. 282 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,109 Now, back to you in the studio, Marv. 283 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,719 Well, that's it. Thanks, guys. 284 00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,507 Listen, I'm real sorry about that. I hope we didn't mess up your broadcast. 285 00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:13,032 No. Actually, I think you made it a little bit better. 286 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,164 Yeah? That Barton guy's a real dill weed, isn't he? 287 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,688 -Yeah. -What's your name, son? 288 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,473 Dude, I'm Cody Lambert. 289 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,431 This is my little cuz, Brendan. 290 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,303 Well, Hi. I'm Harmon Killebrew. Nice to meet you guys. 291 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,001 -Wow, you're Harmon Killebrew? -Yeah. 292 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,308 -I've got your baseball card. -You do? 293 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:32,225 Dude, you hit more home runs than Mickey Mantle and Reggie Jackson-- 294 00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,879 And they gave that dude a candy bar. 295 00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,316 -Go figure. -Yeah. 296 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:43,149 Hey, you know, we really didn't mean to hose your TV interview and everything, man. 297 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,891 You know that guy Kenny Barton, he really just cheesed me off. 298 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,155 Cody, don't apologize. I agree with you. 299 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,244 You do? Dude, ha, hey. 300 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,421 Did you hear that? My man Harmon agreed with me. 301 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,423 You know, in my day, ballplayers knew that 302 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,860 the fans were the most important people in baseball. 303 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,731 Especially kids like you. 304 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,951 But today, they seem to forget that the fans 305 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,127 are the ones that buy the tickets and sit in the seats. 306 00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:08,783 They should remember that it's the fans that make baseball. 307 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,133 And if it weren't for the fans, we'd all be out of a job. 308 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,962 Yeah. Amen to that, "Your Baseballness." 309 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:17,139 Yeah. Hey, Brendan, 310 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,837 I'm not a Kenny Barton, but I am in the Hall of Fame. 311 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,448 I'll sign a baseball for you. 312 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:22,971 -Really? -Sure. 313 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,103 Wow! 314 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,762 There you go, sport. 315 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,852 Wow, this is the greatest day of my whole life. 316 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,421 Isn't that beautiful? 317 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,513 Monster move, bro'. Cool. 318 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,864 Hey, is ol' Pete still making those killer chili dogs down the hall? 319 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,475 Yeah, he sure is. Man, can I buy you one? 320 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,520 Sure, let's go for it. 321 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:54,350 Dude. Putting on the feed bag with old number three. 322 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,570 Is this a Hall of Fame day, or what? 323 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,659 -C'mon, Edgar. Let's go get a hot dog. -Okay. 324 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,714 Push. Just push me. God! Okay... 325 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,543 God! 326 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,241 These things weigh a ton. 327 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,636 I've lost the will to live. 328 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,640 Me too, Dad. 329 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,686 I can't handle being pregnant. 330 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,167 -Think I wanna quit. -No, no, no, we can't quit. 331 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,473 They'll, they'll laugh at us. 332 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,133 They laugh at us now, Dad. 333 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,311 -Yeah. -Ahoy. 334 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:45,619 Thar she blows. 335 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:50,101 Aye, you're right, Captain. There's a fortune in blubber here. 336 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,929 Make all the jokes you want, Carol. 337 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:55,933 Just please get me out of this stupid whale suit. 338 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,980 JT, does that mean what I think it means? 339 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,330 Yes, Dana- It does. 340 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:02,810 I quit. You win, okay? 341 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,296 Okay, how about you, Shamu? 342 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,646 Ready to go belly up? 343 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,953 Anything. As long as I can get this bowling ball off my bladder. 344 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,172 Hey! Hey! Hey! No. 345 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,699 God! 346 00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,749 I think my water broke. 347 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,625 I don't believe we have heard the magic words. 348 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:38,237 Okay, okay, fine. 349 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,673 We are the weaker -- 350 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,806 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 351 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,679 The agreement was, on your knees, 352 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,811 in front of us, then kiss our feet. 353 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,688 - Okay. - Come on. 354 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:59,170 I am really looking forward to this. 355 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,870 Okay, boys, let's hear it. 356 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,916 Come on. 357 00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:07,440 "We are the weaker sex." 358 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:10,269 We are the weaker sex. 359 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,752 "Women are superior to men." 360 00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:19,539 Women are superior to men. 361 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:25,327 "We bow down before you and kiss your feet." 362 00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:33,814 We bow down before you and kiss your feet. 363 00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:35,119 Okay. 364 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:44,346 No, no. 365 00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:46,566 Lips on leather.