1 00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:10,260 Hey! What the hell? 2 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,040 I'm going to punch your tits in. 3 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:19,100 What? I'm going to punch your tits in. 4 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:24,780 Punch my tits in? That's not a good thread at all. What does that mean? 5 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,980 Punch them in where? There's already a lot in. Like this whole bit is in. 6 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,480 Maybe she means she'll punch him in even further? 7 00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:36,080 So they're poking through my back? Is that it? 8 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:39,480 That threat makes no sense. 9 00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:42,680 Are you not listening? I'm going to punch you dead, though. I need a threat 10 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,100 makes sense. Like, I'm going to smack you so hard you'll wear your snot like a 11 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,100 scarf. 12 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,699 That's good. 13 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,100 Right? Snot like a scarf? You're picturing it. 14 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,860 I'm sorry. I get it. Oh, thank you. I'm really sorry about that. 15 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:57,340 Pick your shit up. I'm sorry. Thanks, mate. You have a good one. 16 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,000 at stuff, but I know I don't like exercise, and that I've baked my last 17 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:26,900 for school. Like, I would still recreationally bake a cupcake, but 18 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:30,920 fundraisers, by March this year, so the school starts in February, by March we 19 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,560 already had three bake sales at our school. I went to the principal, I said, 20 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,620 sorry, what shit is this? 21 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,700 What are we fundraising for? Why do we keep doing bake sales? 22 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:41,780 And she goes, oh, we need a shade net. 23 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,079 for the playground. 24 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,220 I said, how much money are you hoping to make? She goes, $300. 25 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,780 I go, I'll give the money right now. 26 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,120 I said, 27 00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:54,460 I didn't go buy the shade net. I'll come back with a ladder. I've got to try. 28 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,520 I'll just put it up. 29 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,020 And she goes, no, we must work together. 30 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,080 And it's not even the fundraising that I'm against. 31 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,820 When you find out about those cupcakes. 32 00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:12,030 Now, I'll give my kids, my kids pray that, like, normally the night before, 33 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:16,070 about 11 o 'clock, when I've been trying to put that little shithead in bed, so 34 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:20,970 many times I put them, and they come, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I have made a 35 00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:22,370 lasagna at this stage. 36 00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:26,690 And this kid keeps getting out of bed, and by 11 o 'clock comes out with a 37 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,690 of paper. 38 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:32,400 That's all tatty and it's wet. It's always wet. Anything that comes out of 39 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,440 school bag is wet. 40 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,780 This is the instructions for the cupcakes. 41 00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:38,980 Oh, you need 300 cupcakes by morning. This is fantastic. 42 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,260 I don't even mind making the 300 cupcakes, but how do you transport 300 43 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:47,180 cupcakes? Because you can't stack them, can you? No. Now I'm looking for a 44 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:52,380 Tupperware that's 12 metres wide, 8 metres wide, and a car to transport that 45 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,380 kind of shit. 46 00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:58,040 You flip that pamphlet over and on the back, there's roughly 20 things that 47 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,740 you're not allowed to put in the cupcakes. 48 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,080 That's right, because these little shits are allergic to everything now. 49 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,480 There are kids who's allergic to chocolate. 50 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:07,840 Give up. 51 00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,520 That's it. Give up. There's no hope for you. 52 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,580 And it's not these kids' fault that they have all these allergies. It's our 53 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:19,660 fault. Do you remember when you were a kid, who had kids that went to school 54 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,660 with them with allergies? 55 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:25,060 Exactly. Do you know why? Because our parents knew how to fuck. 56 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:33,720 They made decent human beings. It's our fault. We're making substandard people. 57 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:40,740 None of these kids can eat nuts because we've been eating so much crap. When we 58 00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:44,140 were kids, your fingers were always orange. Do you remember the chips we 59 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,760 eat and then for three days you just have orange hands? 60 00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,420 And now we all have fertility issues. 61 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:53,450 So now we all have to go through IVF. That's why these kids are allergic to 62 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,930 because they've never been near a pet. 63 00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:04,310 Nut -free, gluten -free, sugar -free. 64 00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:08,410 Yuck. This isn't sweet at all. I think you'll find it is sweet. 65 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:10,130 Sweet potato, that is. 66 00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:12,070 Okay. 67 00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:13,930 Sorry, do you have anything with... 68 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:20,170 With real sugar in it? No, sugar is poison. No nuts, no gluten, no sugar. 69 00:04:20,589 --> 00:04:22,150 No taste? 70 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:26,290 You want the real sugar treats? 71 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,310 Come on, cook them and cook them. 72 00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:31,770 They didn't reach everyone. 73 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,530 Welcome to the tech shop. 74 00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:38,710 Oh, nice setup. 75 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,460 I've been blackmailing the janitor with photos of him and the home ec teacher. 76 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,700 So I got keys to the kingdom. Thank you, my friend. 77 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,980 Hey, ladies, are we still running at full purity? 78 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:59,360 95 % through, Chris. Love to hear it. Love to hear it. Good stuff. 79 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,360 It's tight, mate. You know, in here, this is where we make the canteen food. 80 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,740 there, they've got carrots, sticks and quinoa slices. Up in here, you see we've 81 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:10,920 got the sours here. We've got some marshmallows, full sugar popcorn. 82 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:15,940 The snakes, jelly beans, rainbow strips, because we're pro -homosexual. We 83 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,580 have... Caramel and vanilla. 84 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,700 Every flavour you can think of, we've got it in there. This is incredible. 85 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,960 Whoa! Hey, hey, rookie, you want to go ahead and pace yourself here. This stuff 86 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:28,639 is pure. 87 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,100 That thing's going to hit you, and before you know it, you're going to be 88 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,700 bouncing off the walls like you're at your year nine camp, getting finger 89 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,880 -banged for the first time. Hey, that happened in year eight. Hold on. 90 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,560 What are these? 91 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,560 Do you inject these? 92 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:46,860 No. 93 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,740 Play a little tune on them. 94 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,060 I'm like the Pied Piper for sugar addicts. 95 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:05,570 How'd you get those in? 96 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:09,950 Actually, Lynn here brought 14 of these boxes over for us in her anal cavity. 97 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:12,810 That takes a bit of gaming till you lick them a few times and they're all good. 98 00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:15,870 Oh, yeah, on the nose. Yeah, I can see a seed on that one, Lynn. 99 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:19,630 She's a trooper. I do actually want to talk to you about something because I 100 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:24,210 see a lot of myself in you and I need someone to run the operation over at Boy 101 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,830 Scout Hall and I think that can be you. 102 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,670 Tell me you can do it. 103 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,150 Yeah. Yeah? You keen? 104 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,350 Yes! 105 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,490 Yes! Yes! 106 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,340 This is a raid. Nobody move. 107 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,420 You sick me. I didn't. You did. 108 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,260 You sick me. I did not. 109 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,040 Lynn, 110 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,960 what have you done? 111 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,140 Oh, my name's not Lynn. 112 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,520 It's Glenn. 113 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,100 How could I have been so blind? 114 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,360 95 % so gross, huh? 115 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,000 Mind if I dip the tip? 116 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,300 I wouldn't. 117 00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:07,070 Is that chemicals? 118 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:10,050 Yeah, it's real drugs. It was a mix -up at the port. 119 00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:11,450 That's disgusting. 120 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:13,970 I've got to pick up Abigail from gymnastics. 121 00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:15,370 Get her out of here! 122 00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,250 Well, you're cooked, sweetie! 123 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:18,990 You're on drugs now! 124 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:21,330 I've got a whole brick of my asshole! 125 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,690 But you shouldn't worry about your nipples. She's got great nipples. 126 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:28,390 I do, yes. Play your cards right and you'll see. 127 00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:30,270 I'm being rude. 128 00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,550 That was fun. 129 00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:33,970 Yeah, so good. Yeah. 130 00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:36,030 Here we are on the boat. 131 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:39,790 Can't believe I'm going out with two women. It's always been a fantasy. 132 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:41,830 We've always wanted a man around here. 133 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:46,370 Question. If you two are into women, what do you need me for? 134 00:07:47,110 --> 00:07:50,510 There is a certain thing that a man can do that no woman can. 135 00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:52,410 You ready to work for us, big boy? 136 00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:54,650 Ladies, I'll do anything you want me to. 137 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,570 Amazing. Oh, come on. 138 00:07:57,330 --> 00:08:00,010 Open up. Yeah. 139 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,230 Just... 140 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:03,060 Open the jar. 141 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:04,520 Oh, yes. 142 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,720 What about this one? It was open, but now I can't get it open again. 143 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,640 Oh, Jan. 144 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:13,940 Is this S andM? 145 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,160 It's pickles. 146 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,400 Pickled onion. 147 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,840 I need a rest. 148 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,380 Come on, you're doing a really good job. Oh, yeah. 149 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,280 I told you. I knew that would get out. 150 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,700 Orange marmalade. 151 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,060 Open, open. 152 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,080 Fill my nipples, but without touching. 153 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,140 Hello. What? 154 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,960 I'm exhausted. 155 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:36,220 You're okay. 156 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,240 Ladies, please. 157 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,980 Do we have some more corn? 158 00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:42,659 I've had enough. I'm exhausted. I need a rest. 159 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,059 This is the last one. 160 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:47,100 Last one. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. 161 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,600 Get it. Get it. This is the one. Yes. 162 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,260 Come on. Yes. 163 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,280 Shoot that hot load. 164 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,140 Oh, my God. Good job. Oh, look at this. 165 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,460 Oh, my God. Was that good for you? No, it was really good. It was something. 166 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,400 I loved it. Baked pasta pomodoro? 167 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,260 Yeah. I'll make a rocket salad. Good. 168 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:16,020 Yum. I can't believe how long that took him. 169 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,160 Oh, look at the little guy. He'll tuck it out. 170 00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,380 Oh, so cute. 171 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,760 So cute. No, 172 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,500 no, no. Leave it. 173 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:26,220 He can take it out when he wakes up. 174 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,100 Look, we're all here. We believe in science, right? 175 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,410 Even if you're one of those people who do your own research, you're a 176 00:09:36,570 --> 00:09:37,549 whatever, fine. 177 00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:43,150 I do believe, though, that science sort of favours men's medicine a little bit 178 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,370 stronger, wouldn't you say? 179 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,350 Yeah, and men aren't too scared to answer. I respect that. 180 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:52,790 Make some noise if you're a woman who has been to the doctor with mastitis. 181 00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:54,770 Yeah. 182 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:58,790 Mastitis, if you don't know, is a condition when you're breastfeeding, 183 00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:03,010 get so hard, harder than dating in your 50s. They are hot. 184 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,540 They're inflamed. It is so painful. 185 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,480 You just walk around naked around the house like this. I don't know why your 186 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,220 balls are sore too, but there you go. 187 00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:16,720 You remove all the curtains in the house just in case a breeze comes and touches 188 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,360 that tit. It is so painful. 189 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,800 And do you know what a doctor will tell you? A medical professional with a 190 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:27,460 certificate on the wall will look you straight in the eye and go, here, just 191 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,720 some cabbage leaves on that. 192 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,280 Sorry, what? 193 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,480 You don't have leeches in a fridge here somewhere you can chuck on a tuxedo and 194 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,480 suck it out? No. 195 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:44,420 I firmly believe that if mastitis were to happen to men's balls, like if your 196 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:50,420 balls got hot and inflamed and enlarged, right, a man will just walk out into 197 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:54,360 the middle of town square and there will be some war cry like... 198 00:10:54,360 --> 00:11:01,240 And all the townsfolk will convene, we'll all stand 199 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,600 around this man and the... 200 00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:07,480 would come and do some seance on your balls and, bam, you're healed. 201 00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:11,400 Meanwhile, all the women are standing around smelling like a cabbage patch. 202 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,360 Yeah, I see. Good afternoon, Mr. 203 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,600 and Mrs. 204 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,660 Heterosexuale. How can I help you two cuties today? 205 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:26,400 You go first. No, you go first. I actually haven't been feeling too good. 206 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,280 a cough and lightheadedness and also chills. 207 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,960 Sounds like you've got that really bad flu that's going around at the moment. 208 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:39,040 I'm going to prescribe some antibiotics for you. Okay. 209 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:40,540 And rest. 210 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:46,000 That's the most important part here. Mm -hmm. No health chores for six months. 211 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,360 Okay. Yeah. 212 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,500 Don't you cry now. 213 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:53,240 I won't, Doctor. Thank you. Thank you. You're a lifesaver. Hi. Hi. Sorry. I 214 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,960 actually have the same symptoms. 215 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,080 Headache, chills, and the work. 216 00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:01,340 Okay. Well. 217 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,980 Shall we have a look at how we can cure you? 218 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:06,640 What? Here we go. 219 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,620 What is that? 220 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:11,420 This is the latest in women's health research. 221 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:17,780 Oh, I see here. You can boil cabbage leaves and put those on your tartars and 222 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,980 that'll make them feel great. 223 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,240 Oh, okay. 224 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,300 All right. 225 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,220 You can take... 226 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:29,210 Use coffee grinds and just slowly shove it up your anal cavity. 227 00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:34,230 Okay. Maybe not that one. How about this one? You can shove a jade egg right up 228 00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:35,470 your... How's that going to help? 229 00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:40,530 Oh. Oh, I can see we're going to be fussy today. You're a bit of a fusspot. 230 00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,130 Maybe I should make you a special brew. 231 00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,430 A what? I've heard about this. 232 00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:51,550 Is that a witch's hat? 233 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,740 Dr. Rabbit, respect. 234 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,880 Fresh pot for the pot. 235 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,840 Some rat tail. 236 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,040 Say this, I plucked this myself. 237 00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:03,760 That chicken never thought of coming. 238 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,300 Oh, eyeballs. 239 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,680 Yes, all the eyeballs. 240 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:12,460 Have you got anything else? Maybe your titties are sore. You've got sore 241 00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:16,060 titties. Maybe you've got some anxiety. I've actually been getting anxiety when 242 00:13:16,060 --> 00:13:17,060 I go out playing. 243 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,880 Have you? I have. Hey, I want you to know that's completely normal. 244 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,390 It is? Yes, I'm going to give you the strongest valium that I can. 245 00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,170 It's just so good to be seen. 246 00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:31,150 Drake! No! 247 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,430 Drake! No! 248 00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:37,530 I don't want this queer women's treatment. Just treat me like a normal 249 00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:43,810 Okay. Well, from what I can see, you carry a lot of extra weight. 250 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,040 You want to lose some of that. 251 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,180 It's going to make you feel lighter. 252 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,900 Also, if you try smiling. 253 00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:51,320 It's an attitude thing. 254 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:58,900 Don't you feel better? 255 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,160 I feel better. 256 00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:07,860 All right, husband. 257 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:10,220 Eyes front. 258 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,340 Welcome to a lesbian's guide to being a husband. 259 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:19,340 You know how they say you give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Love fish. 260 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:24,700 Teach a man to lesbian and he'll be drowning in wife pussy for the rest of 261 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:25,700 days. 262 00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:31,380 That's weird. 263 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,480 Okay. 264 00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:34,940 Lesson one. 265 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,560 Attention to detail. 266 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,660 Husband number one, I'm going to be your wife in your dreams. 267 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:45,510 And I'm wearing my straight lady cardigan. Oh, I'm feeling it now. I 268 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,510 just broke a nail. 269 00:14:47,290 --> 00:14:50,170 I made Spambo again. 270 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,050 What is wrong with my outfit? 271 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:54,490 Oh, I know. 272 00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:55,690 There's nothing wrong. 273 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,170 You look great, honey. 274 00:14:57,890 --> 00:14:58,890 Wrong. 275 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:01,650 The tag was sticking out the whole time. 276 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,570 Boys! 277 00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:10,410 Cannot let your wife walk around the mall with a 4XL sticking out of a 278 00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:12,150 That is a divorceable offence. 279 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:13,570 Listen to. 280 00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:16,190 Argue like a girl. 281 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,810 Husband number two. I am your wife. 282 00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:21,030 I'm coming to you with a situation. 283 00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:22,470 You ready? 284 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:27,270 Put your toilet seat down. How many times do I need to tell you that, Toby? 285 00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:28,270 sick of your shit. 286 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:30,450 Now, how are you going to win that argument? 287 00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:35,310 Honey, I just realised it's your period tomorrow and that is why you're upset. 288 00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:39,350 I'm going to give you four marks for courage. 289 00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:42,270 Thank you. And double marks for stupidity. 290 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:46,390 You play the period card, your marriage is over. 291 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,030 Lesson three. 292 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:53,090 How to make your woman scream but not in fear or disgust. Okay? 293 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,050 Husband number three. 294 00:15:56,130 --> 00:16:01,450 Let's pretend I'm attracted to you to introduce me. 295 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,450 Hey, you want to... 296 00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:07,810 Get with him. 297 00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:13,390 Now, who wants to tell me what he did wrong, apart from everything? 298 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:18,510 Wrong? Oh, I know. He undone his shirt buttons. 299 00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:19,829 He did? 300 00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,930 When he should have undone his pants. 301 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:24,530 Oh, yeah. Let the dick out. 302 00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:28,030 Can I just say, straight women are extremely brave. 303 00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:31,410 Honestly, boys, you want to fold your wife over? 304 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,150 I do. You've got to fold the towel. 305 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,670 Boo. Boo. 306 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:37,689 Boom. Done. 307 00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:38,690 You try it. 308 00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:42,810 What is this wizardry? Fold it. Okay, sorry. Sorry. Can I help you? I'm just 309 00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:44,190 here to pick up my husband. Darren, we're late. 310 00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:47,670 Wait, wait, wait. Why don't you show your wife what you learned? Here. 311 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:50,470 You got it. Go on. 312 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:52,630 Go on. Uh, Dylan. 313 00:16:54,050 --> 00:16:55,050 Hey, honey. 314 00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:58,410 Your tag is hanging out. 315 00:16:58,970 --> 00:16:59,970 Is it? 316 00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:01,990 No. No, it's not. Darren. 317 00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:04,310 Oh, you must be on your period. 318 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,060 Behind the walls. Darren. 319 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:07,700 Check this out. 320 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,220 What am I supposed to do with that, Darren? 321 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,940 I'm afraid Darren's a lost cause. 322 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,380 What? I, however, am fully house trained. 323 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,000 I've got a van out the front. 324 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,280 Do you want to get out of here? 325 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,160 Yeah, I do. 326 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,400 Oh, wow. Bye, Darren. 327 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,760 She's good. 328 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:42,320 You know, when I was young, I just assumed that drugs, rock and roll, and 329 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,440 sex would ruin my life. But it wasn't that at all. 330 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,940 It's TikTok. 331 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,960 TikTok is busy ruining my life. 332 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,800 Simple things that you think you know how to do, like how to get the avocado 333 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:59,820 separated from its skin. It's easy. You cut it open, take a spoon, swap it on a 334 00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:01,040 plate, and you're done. But no. 335 00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,460 On TikTok, they do it different. 336 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,760 They peel the outside off, and then they cut it in half, and they slice it in 337 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:12,340 slices, and they put it on a board like, have you seen that? It looks sexy. 338 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,200 I was like, I'm going to do that. 339 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,100 I didn't do that. 340 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,760 Because I go, and I get my avocado, and I get home, and I peel it, and then 341 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:28,240 there's all these black dots all over it, and I was like, oh, no, my avocado 342 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240 diseased. 343 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,280 But it was not disease, was it? No. 344 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:37,220 It's people in my community who would go and squeeze the shit out of that 345 00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:41,340 avocado. All those black dots are people in my community's fingers. 346 00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:46,680 It just drove me nuts. Like, who would do that? Like, why are you squeezing 347 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,120 anything? You're not a farmer. 348 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,300 This may come as no big surprise, but I do have a therapist. 349 00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:58,490 I know, it's like when I meet someone who goes, I've never been to therapy. I 350 00:18:58,490 --> 00:18:59,870 go, red flag, get a red flag. 351 00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:06,710 But I think my therapist might be a red flag because she bought me, for 352 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,630 Christmas, a reflective vest. 353 00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:12,370 She bought me this. 354 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,960 vest because she says oh you want to police what other people do with their 355 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:21,420 lives so here while i'm away for seven weeks in europe why don't you wear your 356 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:25,240 little reflective vest and go police what other people are doing i'm like 357 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:32,060 first of all fuck you secondly she's real cheap 358 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:37,700 so i have to take some shit i have to go see her so frequently you got to get a 359 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,040 budget friendly one you see 360 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:45,180 Secondly, I don't want to police what other people do. I don't. I want you to 361 00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,300 just be able to do your shit, do your part. 362 00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:52,240 But you don't. So now I do have to police what you do. 363 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,640 We've got one. 364 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,920 Tomato section. 365 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,120 Suspect is male. 366 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,520 Quite tall. 367 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,220 Extremely unattractive to me. 368 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,840 Strike one. 369 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,640 Strike two. 370 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:33,760 I'm terrible. 371 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,600 Stand by. We're going to take the sucker down. 372 00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:45,510 Not to thumbing it. 373 00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:49,210 Come on, mate, you're inside it. 374 00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:50,650 I could. 375 00:20:51,690 --> 00:20:52,689 Hold your fire. 376 00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:55,150 We need a clean put -back before we can arrest them. 377 00:20:57,650 --> 00:20:59,630 We've got him! Move, move, move! 378 00:21:01,330 --> 00:21:02,970 What the hell? What are you doing? 379 00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:05,350 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Ow, ow! 380 00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,390 I'm being attacked by the Dally boys! 381 00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:09,710 Ow, ow! Get your toes away from my face, sir! 382 00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:12,950 Come on, get these Dally boys off me! 383 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,560 What are you doing? 384 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,540 Oh, you thought you could come in here in broad daylight and fondle fruit? 385 00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:23,720 My name is Ursula, special troops unit. 386 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,880 We are charging you with fiddling in the third degree. 387 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,960 It's not illegal to inspect fresh produce. 388 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,200 Inspect? You've been to this one so much, if it was a human being, I 389 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:33,859 marry it. 390 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:34,980 I just want to find a ripe avocado. 391 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,860 Well, we all would love a ripe avocado, but now someone has to go home with your 392 00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,860 sloppy thicken. You can't arrest me. 393 00:21:41,140 --> 00:21:42,580 You don't know what I can do. 394 00:21:43,590 --> 00:21:44,590 What are you going to do? 395 00:21:47,090 --> 00:21:49,630 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 396 00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:51,630 Yeah, yeah. 397 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:53,650 Oh, oh, oh. 398 00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:57,290 Why? Oh, God, you monster. 399 00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:00,390 Oh, God, she's figuring the ice cream. 400 00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:03,390 Yeah. God, I feel sick. 401 00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:06,670 You watch. Grab his face. You're going to watch this. 402 00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:08,010 Yeah. 403 00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:11,830 Oh, God. How do you like that? How do you like that? There you go. 404 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,160 He's thanking her. 405 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:19,680 Excuse me. Hang on. What is going on here? We found this jerk squishing 406 00:22:19,940 --> 00:22:21,100 We've contained the problem. 407 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,960 Don't thank me. You're welcome. 408 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,860 I wasn't going to thank you. You don't work here. 409 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,440 And I'm pretty upset by all this mess. Look at this mess. 410 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,280 Get in there. Scatter. 411 00:22:32,180 --> 00:22:33,180 What are you doing? 412 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,060 Door's the other way. Get back in there. 413 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,360 You can definitely get her. I'm going to have to reduce this now. 414 00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:42,380 All right. 415 00:22:43,050 --> 00:22:48,390 That is the episode. Can I just say a word of warning? If you have a friend 416 00:22:48,390 --> 00:22:51,930 recently had a baby, don't have cabbage salad at their house. 417 00:22:53,050 --> 00:22:57,990 Also, as you exit the building, there's some cupcakes for sale in the foyer. My 418 00:22:57,990 --> 00:23:03,910 kids' school has a fundraiser, so we need a new cover for the sandpit. So if 419 00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:07,350 guys can donate, that'll be excellent. Thank you. I made that myself. 420 00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:08,670 It is nut -free. 421 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,150 I didn't drop my nuts in the batter once. 422 00:23:20,879 --> 00:23:22,000 Listen. Does it work? 423 00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:24,780 Hi. 424 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,940 I can see a lot of myself in you, okay? 425 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:29,000 And I need some... Why? 426 00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:31,100 I'm doing nothing. 427 00:23:31,820 --> 00:23:34,760 Come on. No, no, no. Hold yourself together. Stop talking. 428 00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:36,860 Because I'm not strong enough, okay? 429 00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:39,120 I can see a lot of myself in you. 430 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,080 And I need some... That's enough, please. 431 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,280 Be professional. 432 00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,640 Oh, that actually did that. Sorry. 433 00:23:46,030 --> 00:23:47,670 I actually want to talk to you about something. 434 00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:51,290 No, I've got it. I'll carry it. 435 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:52,510 I'll carry you. 436 00:23:53,110 --> 00:23:54,110 I'm alone. 437 00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:57,890 Here you go. Good afternoon, Mr and Mrs Sexuale. 438 00:23:58,410 --> 00:24:00,710 Oh, that's heterosexuale. Yeah, fuck that up. 439 00:24:01,270 --> 00:24:02,270 Hello. 440 00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:03,430 You can't arrest me. 441 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,530 You don't know what I cannot do. 442 00:24:05,810 --> 00:24:06,810 What I cannot do. 443 00:24:07,170 --> 00:24:08,350 What I cannot all do. 444 00:24:08,810 --> 00:24:10,350 Sorry. Who are you people? 445 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:11,469 That's right. 446 00:24:11,470 --> 00:24:12,470 Fucko. 447 00:24:13,130 --> 00:24:15,210 Should we keep it? We've never had one. 448 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,080 No, I don't know what to do with that. 449 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:21,180 You have to walk her twice a day, there's shit in the bathroom, on the 450 00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:24,500 Open it, you weakling! 451 00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:26,040 Use your whole hand! 452 00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:29,120 Oh, my God, let me do it! For fuck's sake!