1
00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:09,467
Hey, busboy,
where've you been?
2
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,267
If I wanted to cook
and clean and serve,
3
00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:12,734
I'd stay home.
4
00:00:12,734 --> 00:00:14,701
I was talking
with my friends.
5
00:00:14,701 --> 00:00:17,367
Well, I don't want
those hoodlums
hangin' around here.
6
00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:20,000
They're scaring away
the truckers.
7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,567
I hate it here.
Why don't you
just fire me?
8
00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,367
Because you're
a tiny, little man
9
00:00:24,367 --> 00:00:27,000
and we're still hoping
you might be magical.
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,334
You know, Roseanne,
if he doesn't
want to be here,
11
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,868
we should
just let him go.
12
00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:32,968
No way.
13
00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:34,167
I don't want him
hanging out
14
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,300
with those hoodlums
he's made friends with.
15
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,167
I figured if they
see him in the apron
16
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:41,067
they'll go back
to wantin' to beat him up.
17
00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:44,834
Well, that makes
the third bucket of lard
18
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:47,534
that I have cleaned out
of this grease trap.
19
00:00:47,534 --> 00:00:49,467
I swear to God, Roseanne,
it's like cleaning out
20
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,567
one of your arteries.
21
00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:55,934
Bitch, bitch, bitch,
that's all you ever are.
22
00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:00,501
Sorry, I just don't understand
how this thing can collect
23
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:02,667
that much grease so fast.
24
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,968
Would you shut up
about that thing?
25
00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:07,167
We all take our own turn
cleaning it out, you know?
26
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:13,501
I haven't cleaned
that grease trap out
in over a year.
27
00:01:13,501 --> 00:01:15,901
Neither have I.
28
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,868
Excuse me,
that little boy
29
00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:20,200
just left this note
on my napkin.
30
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,067
"The big, scary one
spits in the food."
31
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,300
D.J.!
32
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:28,267
I think you should
apologize to the woman.
33
00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:30,234
You know,
I'm real sorry
34
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,400
my mom does that
to your food.
35
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,901
Nice try, D.J.,
but I'm still not
gonna fire you.
36
00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:40,300
And the joke is on you...
37
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,834
[whispers]
because I do spit
in the food.
38
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,567
Ugh, that grease trap
is unspeakable.
39
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:50,267
I have not felt this filthy
since my last confession.
40
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:55,167
You know,
you're the only one
who cleans that.
41
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:56,234
Hey, D.J.,
break time.
42
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:57,834
What?
43
00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,100
What did the boy say?
44
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,501
I said you're
the only one who--
45
00:02:00,501 --> 00:02:03,734
Don't listen to him.
He's a hopeless alcoholic.
46
00:02:03,734 --> 00:02:05,133
My God, Roseanne.
47
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,968
This is the lowest thing
you've ever done.
48
00:02:06,968 --> 00:02:08,834
No, it's not.
You know the tip jar--
49
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,434
That's it, D.J.,
you're fired.
50
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,901
Thanks, Mom!
51
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,901
[laughing]
52
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:03,067
Your black skirt
53
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,734
with the really
long slit in it?
54
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:07,300
I--I don't think
that's too revealing.
55
00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:10,200
Okay, I'll come
over at 7:00
56
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,000
and we'll walk over
together.
57
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,901
All right.
58
00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,834
Don't forget,
city's got a leash law.
59
00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:20,868
That was no dog.
That was Diana--
60
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,701
What the hell's
she going out
with you for?
61
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:25,133
Because I'm cute.
62
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,767
You are not.
63
00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:28,200
I am so.
64
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,567
Ever since I broke up
with Darlene
65
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,367
and became all miserable,
tons of girls
66
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:32,634
have been flirting
with me.
67
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:35,167
They say I have the sad,
sensitive thing going.
68
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,667
Yeah?
69
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:37,868
They can feel
sorry for you
70
00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:40,400
when they're nailing
real guys.
71
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,601
Actually, I'm jealous
of you, Mark.
72
00:03:43,601 --> 00:03:46,267
I mean, I'll have to sleep
with dozens of women,
73
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,734
sometimes two at a time,
while you have the security
74
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:50,901
of sleeping with the same
woman every night...
75
00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:52,667
till the day you die.
76
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,934
[laughing]
77
00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,634
Well, I'm glad
you're laughing,
78
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,467
'cause I was worried
that you'd be all bummed out
79
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:01,234
about Darlene moving in
with that Jimmy guy
80
00:04:01,234 --> 00:04:02,400
she's been seeing.
81
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,033
You're lying.
82
00:04:05,033 --> 00:04:08,300
Wait, Becky didn't
tell you about that one?
83
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,000
Oops.
84
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,934
They hardly
know each other.
85
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,601
Yeah, well,
seeing each other
naked every day
86
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,901
ought to change that.
87
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,734
You know what?
Those girls are right.
88
00:04:18,734 --> 00:04:20,868
You are cute
when you're miserable.
89
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,968
George, that's Mark.
Mark, scram.
90
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:30,968
All right.
Wow.
91
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:33,868
I still can't believe
you got me tickets
92
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:35,501
to Wrestlemania,
Mrs. Conner.
93
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:36,767
Thank you so much.
94
00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:39,133
I mean, I really don't know
how to thank you enough
95
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:42,367
other than saying "thank you"
like I just did right now.
96
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:43,801
Yeah, okay,
here's the thing.
97
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:46,267
Yours is free,
but for reasons
98
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,133
that you're too young
to understand,
99
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:51,434
you need to sell D.J.
his ticket for 20 bucks.
100
00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:54,467
Well, where's D.J.
gonna get $20?
101
00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:55,968
Well, I don't know.
102
00:04:55,968 --> 00:04:57,634
I guess he'll just
have to get a job.
103
00:04:57,634 --> 00:04:59,367
You should
mention that to him.
104
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,234
Well, what if he doesn't
wanna go with me?
105
00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:04,901
You know, I don't think
D.J. likes me very much.
106
00:05:04,901 --> 00:05:06,601
Well, that's just 'cause
you're really boring,
107
00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,300
but the tickets
will change everything.
108
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:11,667
Hey, D.J.,
look who's here.
109
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:13,901
Get rid of him.
110
00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:15,634
Now, D.J.,
that's not very nice.
111
00:05:15,634 --> 00:05:17,067
George has something
to ask you.
112
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,801
Okay, go ahead,
and keep it short.
113
00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:24,834
Um, D.J., do you wanna go
to Wrestlemania with me?
114
00:05:24,834 --> 00:05:27,601
I got these tickets.
Really?
115
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:30,234
Yeah. Um, now,
the thing of it is,
116
00:05:30,234 --> 00:05:32,267
you gotta pay me $20.
117
00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:36,601
Or if you don't have a twenty,
you could pay me two tens.
Or a ten and two fives.
118
00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:39,133
Or four fives, which I'd
prefer, 'cause you know
I'm collecting them.
119
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:41,033
You know, 'cause
I like Lincoln.
120
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:42,501
Hey, wow, D.J.
121
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:44,200
Tickets to the hottest
event in town.
122
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,534
Too bad you're broke.
123
00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:48,267
I'm not broke.
Come on, I'll get my money.
124
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:51,234
What? You're not supposed
to have any money.
You're unemployed.
125
00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:54,367
Ha. I don't need
your stinkin' job.
126
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:55,667
I get an allowance from Dad.
127
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,067
Freeze.
128
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:08,133
I was just gonna
get you something...
129
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,834
to hit me with.
130
00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:13,000
You can't go just
givin' him money, Dan.
131
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,200
I want him to learn
responsibility by working
at the diner.
132
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,567
Oh, he's 13 years old.
He's got plenty of time
to learn responsibility.
133
00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,267
That is so wrong, Dan.
134
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:22,634
He is at a crossroads
of his life
135
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:24,434
where he can either
become a total loser
136
00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:26,834
or a busboy.
137
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:29,634
Roseanne, none of
his friends have to work.
138
00:06:29,634 --> 00:06:34,100
Well, they will. Them
license plates don't just
make themselves, you know.
139
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:38,133
All right. From now on,
no more allowance.
140
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,067
I'll just tell him
we went broke again.
141
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,534
Yeah, well, you gotta get back
the money you gave him.
142
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,267
I can't do that.
He'll hate me.
143
00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:47,200
Well, Dan, if he
hates you because you
take back your money,
144
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,634
then he wasn't that
good of a friend in
the first place, was he?
145
00:06:50,634 --> 00:06:52,300
See ya.
146
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,334
D.J., wait a minute.
147
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:56,534
I've been thinking,
148
00:06:56,534 --> 00:07:00,901
and I've decided
it's not right for
you to get money
149
00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:03,934
without working for it,
so I want you to give me
your allowance back.
150
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:06,667
Gee, Dan,
that's not fair.
151
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,701
Well, I don't
have it anymore.
I gave it to George.
152
00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:16,100
Well then, you just have
to give me your ticket. Now.
153
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:20,267
Sorry, D.J. You know,
if it was up to me, I'd
let you go in a second.
154
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:26,000
Fine. Now it is up to you.
155
00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:31,234
Uh, no, Dan. Remember?
Love, honor and obey?
156
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,367
I'm forced to go
along with you.
157
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:37,200
Oh, honey, just this once
I think we'll let
you be in charge.
158
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:42,534
All right, here you go.
Have a good time.
159
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:45,567
Your dad and I'll just
be here waiting for you,
160
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:48,734
alone together...
with no witnesses.
161
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:49,834
Guys, wait up!
162
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,801
Hey, Jimmy, here's
an interesting thing
from psyche class.
163
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:01,567
Just answer honestly.
There's no right or wrong.
164
00:08:01,567 --> 00:08:04,067
Name three things that
you like about yourself.
165
00:08:05,467 --> 00:08:09,000
Well, let's see, um...
I'd say I'm open-minded,
166
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,501
I've got a good body,
167
00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:13,167
and, uh...
I'm a pretty nice guy.
168
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:16,033
[scoffs]
Fine, if you're not
gonna take it seriously.
169
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:21,200
Well, it's almost 2:00.
I gotta run.
170
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,601
Oh, I got it Darlene.
Coffee's on me.
171
00:08:23,601 --> 00:08:26,467
Oh, I know.
I was just getting
a piece of gum.
172
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,968
See you later.
173
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:43,100
Hey, can I bum a stick?
174
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,000
Uh, sure.
175
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:49,901
Thanks.
176
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,367
Is this seat taken?
177
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,901
It's all yours.
178
00:08:55,901 --> 00:08:59,167
You're Jimmy Gartner, right?
179
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:00,467
Yeah. Have we met?
180
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:02,934
No, I'm...Craig.
181
00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:06,267
Shapiro.
182
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:08,934
You go out with that
Darlene Conner, right?
183
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,367
Yeah. You know Darlene?
184
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,701
Yeah, yeah.
She's great.
185
00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:14,767
Did you guys meet
in her writing class
or something?
186
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:17,033
No, actually, we met
at my dance recital.
187
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,934
Really?
188
00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,834
So, you're, like, a dancer?
189
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:25,734
Like a ballet dancer?
190
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:29,033
Yeah. Ballet, jazz, tap.
191
00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,901
Tap? Tap's cool.
192
00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:33,801
Are you, like,
the only guy in the class
193
00:09:33,801 --> 00:09:37,734
or are there other...guys
like you in the class?
194
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:40,234
Actually, my boxing coach
had me take ballet
195
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,267
to help me with my footwork.
196
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,968
Boxing.
197
00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:49,334
You mean like...hitting?
198
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,868
How do you know Darlene?
199
00:09:50,868 --> 00:09:53,434
I've--I've known her
for a while.
200
00:09:53,434 --> 00:09:56,167
She's a very,
very special girl.
201
00:09:56,167 --> 00:10:00,801
Just happy to know
that she's...better.
202
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,467
Better?
What do you mean?
203
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:05,033
Nothing.
204
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,767
Nothing.
I can't talk about it.
205
00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:09,701
You know, it would break
a confidence and...
206
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:11,267
What confidence?
207
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:14,200
Well, see, uh,
I'm a peer counselor
208
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,934
and, uh...
209
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,667
Never mind.
210
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,701
Darlene went
to a peer counselor?
211
00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:21,834
Why?
212
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,634
I can't divulge
that information.
213
00:10:24,634 --> 00:10:28,934
There's a little thing
called confidential--esness?
214
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,300
So, are you guys serious?
215
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,234
Yeah, we're thinking
about moving in together.
216
00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:38,534
Wow.
217
00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:41,667
What? Bad idea?
218
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:45,300
No, no, I just...
219
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,667
I never thought
she'd try that again.
220
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:48,701
Wow.
221
00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,934
Listen, I'm sorry
I can't talk to you
about Darlene,
222
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:55,767
but, you know,
if you wanna talk
about your feelings...
223
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:02,167
Actually, this moving in
thing together,
224
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,567
it's a little scary,
you know?
225
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:07,367
Yeah. Yes, it can be.
226
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,067
You don't think
it's a good idea, do you?
227
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,701
Oh, quite the opposite.
228
00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:13,734
I think it'll be
a great test for Darlene.
229
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:16,834
And for you, well...
230
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:20,100
what doesn't kill us
only makes us stronger.
231
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:36,000
Hey, David, where were you
for dinner last night?
232
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,467
Everybody picked
the cauliflower
233
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:38,567
out of their
mixed vegetables,
234
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:41,601
but you weren't here
to eat it.
235
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:46,734
Um...I was--
I joined a team at school.
236
00:11:46,734 --> 00:11:51,067
A debate team.
And, uh, we had a game.
237
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:56,234
Don't try to lie
to me, David.
238
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:57,467
Sorry.
239
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,067
You've got a new
girlfriend, don't ya?
240
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,000
Yes.
241
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,067
How come she's such
a huge secret?
242
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:09,834
Uh, she's very--
She's ugly.
243
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,300
How ugly?
[door closes]
244
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,634
Circus ugly?
245
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,601
Hey, David,
where've you been?
246
00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:19,934
Dating a really
ugly girl.
247
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,968
Good for him.
[door closes]
248
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,934
Hey, D.J.,
do you have
enough room
249
00:12:25,934 --> 00:12:27,400
in those pants there?
250
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,934
Don't tell me,
you're the back
of the horse.
251
00:12:29,934 --> 00:12:32,934
They're mine.
Dad bought 'em for me.
252
00:12:32,934 --> 00:12:34,234
Well, isn't that sweet?
253
00:12:34,234 --> 00:12:36,567
Today my little boy
is a Crypt.
254
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,901
No, he just wants
to look good
255
00:12:37,901 --> 00:12:40,133
for his first day
on the job.
Really?
256
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:41,834
You mean he's ready
to come back to work?
257
00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:45,400
Oh, Dan, tonight
no foreplay.
258
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,300
Well...
259
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,767
he's gonna be learnin'
all about responsibility.
260
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:53,701
Yep, just like you wanted.
261
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:56,000
He's coming to work
with me at the garage.
Isn't that great?
262
00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,601
You're so delighted,
you could barely speak.
263
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,434
[clang]
264
00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:08,901
You're rewarding me
by making sloppy joes.
265
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,400
And then now
you're gonna put on
266
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,567
something frilly
for dinner.
267
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,234
What's wrong?
268
00:13:25,234 --> 00:13:27,534
He won't be hanging out
with those thugs.
269
00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:29,567
Why are getting
so bent out of shape?
270
00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:31,767
Let's just drop it, Dan.
271
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,667
He's working for you
and that is that.
272
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,133
And I hope
the two of you have
273
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,267
a very happy time together.
274
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,467
Wait a minute,
are you jealous?
275
00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:42,067
Don't be ridiculous.
276
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,467
You're upset because
he's spending time with me?
277
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,167
No!
278
00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:51,334
I'm upset because he's not
spending any time with me.
279
00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:54,467
Oh. Oh, honey...
280
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,133
I thought you were
worried about him
becoming a delinquent.
281
00:13:57,133 --> 00:14:00,367
Oh, please, Dan.
I think you know me
better than that.
282
00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:02,801
He can mug old ladies
for all I care,
283
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,000
as long as he comes home
at the end of the day
284
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,367
and tells me
how it went.
285
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:08,901
He loves you, honey.
286
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:12,934
Everybody loves me, Dan.
We're not talking about love.
287
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,667
We're talking about time.
288
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,067
[sniffles]
289
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,400
We used to do things
together, you know?
290
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,701
I'd cut his hair
291
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:23,634
and we'd bake
MandM cookies and...
292
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:26,100
we'd send pizzas
over to the convent.
293
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,300
You know, mother-son
type things.
294
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:31,868
A 13-year-old boy
doesn't have
295
00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:35,133
much in common
with a 42-year-old woman.
296
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:38,400
Actually, if he did,
we'd be worried.
297
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,634
Yeah, but he still
likes you.
298
00:14:40,634 --> 00:14:41,801
You get to be
the buddy
299
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:43,434
and I'm stuck
being the mom.
300
00:14:43,434 --> 00:14:44,734
Oh, it's just a phase.
301
00:14:44,734 --> 00:14:47,067
You'll have him back
in a few years.
302
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:50,000
Oh, yeah, well,
after a few years with you,
303
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,534
I ain't gonna
want him back.
304
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,634
Hey, Jimmy.
Funny runnin'
into you here.
305
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:06,400
Yeah, just like
the library yesterday.
306
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,300
And the cafeteria
and the bowling alley.
307
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,534
It's amazing how we just keep
bumping into each other.
308
00:15:12,534 --> 00:15:15,000
Yeah, well, listen,
uh, I hope we can
talk about something
309
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,234
other than Darlene
this time,
310
00:15:16,234 --> 00:15:19,334
because last time
I was pretty uncomfortable.
311
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,033
Don't worry about it.
312
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:24,868
So how's that
whole thing goin'?
313
00:15:24,868 --> 00:15:26,601
Stop it.
What?
314
00:15:26,601 --> 00:15:28,200
Look, I went to that
peer counseling office.
315
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,701
They've never
heard of you.
316
00:15:29,701 --> 00:15:35,000
Well, that's 'cause I do
a lot of work...undercover.
317
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,200
Cut the crap.
318
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,434
Look, I know you wanna
break me and Darlene up.
319
00:15:39,434 --> 00:15:40,534
I do not.
320
00:15:40,534 --> 00:15:42,467
Yes, you do,
and I know why.
321
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,934
I know your
whole story, man.
322
00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:48,300
I'm sorry.
323
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,267
I was just desperate.
324
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:51,767
Why'd you have
to come on to me
325
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,167
if you knew I was straight?
326
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:02,167
What?
327
00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:03,300
You think I'm gay?
328
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,901
What would make you
think I'm gay?
329
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:06,767
Come on, Craig,
it was pretty obvious
330
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:07,934
the first time I met you.
331
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,767
What made it obvious?
332
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:11,767
A lot of things.
333
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,501
A lot of things
like what?
334
00:16:14,501 --> 00:16:15,667
[sighs]
335
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,501
Well, for one,
you told me
you were an artist.
336
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:20,834
Well, you're
a ballet dancer,
for God's sakes!
337
00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:24,267
You ever had
your butt kicked
by a ballet dancer?
338
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,334
What are you doing here?
339
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:28,567
Wait a minute,
you do know Craig?
340
00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:30,000
This is Craig?
341
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,567
The gay guy that's
been hitting on you?
342
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:34,334
I am not gay!
343
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:36,000
I want some answers!
344
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,868
No, me first.
Come here.
345
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:39,267
Wait a minute,
I wanna hear this.
346
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:40,634
Sit down!
347
00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:42,634
Not you.
Come here!
348
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,701
What the hell
are you doing here?
I don't know.
349
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:46,701
When I heard that
you guys might
move in together,
350
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,234
I felt like I had
to do something.
351
00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:49,534
So you told
my boyfriend
352
00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:52,167
you were a gay guy
named Craig?
353
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,901
No, I didn't
tell him I was gay,
he could just tell.
354
00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:56,934
I mean, no.
355
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,300
You know what I mean.
356
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,167
David, why are you
messing with my life?
357
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,334
I just didn't want you
to move in with him.
358
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:03,467
I wanted to stop it.
359
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,701
I can't even look at you.
360
00:17:05,701 --> 00:17:07,100
This is, like,
the most pathetic thing
361
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,434
you've ever done.
362
00:17:08,434 --> 00:17:10,501
Is not.
363
00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,200
Wait a minute, pal.
364
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,601
If you weren't after me,
why were you trying
365
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,567
to break me
and my girlfriend up?
366
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,734
Well...
367
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,334
see...
368
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,734
Wow, who's he?
369
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:39,167
Mm, I'm kinda nervous.
370
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,100
I've never had
a job interview before.
371
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,667
I got all my other jobs
when I was just walking by.
372
00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:48,601
So, tell us,
Ms. Flagler,
373
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:53,000
why The Lunchbox,
why a busperson?
374
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,100
Well, until
my boyfriend's band
375
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,300
gets a record deal,
he thought I should work,
376
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,834
'cause, you know,
he's never had
a job before.
377
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:03,033
And they say all
the good ones
are taken.
378
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:05,767
I know.
I'm really lucky.
379
00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:08,334
He says when he gets famous,
he's gonna take care of me.
380
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:10,667
Well, that is the good thing
about rock stars:
381
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:13,300
they're so loyal.
382
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,801
Uh, Ms. Flagler,
this position
383
00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:20,567
requires someone
with experience.
384
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,434
Have you done anything
prior to this
385
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,300
in the bussing field?
386
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:30,200
I think I can handle it.
387
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,834
Okay, Stacey,
uh, Mrs. Conner and I
388
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,434
always like to discuss
the applicant
389
00:18:34,434 --> 00:18:36,667
before we reach
a decision.
390
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,701
If you will excuse us
for one minute,
391
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:43,467
we will retire to the...
area that we--
392
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:44,934
[snickers]
393
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:48,901
like to call--
Those cannot be real.
394
00:18:48,901 --> 00:18:50,133
Think about it,
Jackie,
395
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,167
she'd be really great
for business.
396
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:54,100
How do you figure?
397
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,567
Wake up, Jackie.
Even I'm gettin' a woody.
398
00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:04,334
Hey.
399
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,234
What do you want?
400
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:08,734
Mom, I want
my job back.
Please.
401
00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:11,300
I mean, I just hated
working at the garage.
402
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,033
All I did was move
heavy boxes, so I quit.
403
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:19,033
Well, D.J., um,
I don't know
404
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,667
if I can take you back
because we've already
405
00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:22,734
filled the position.
406
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,534
Congratulations, Stacey,
you got the job.
407
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:27,901
Cool. Hey, when does
my insurance start?
408
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:29,634
'Cause I need some shots.
409
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:35,267
That's not fair;
I just quit the garage!
410
00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,400
Well, I don't know.
411
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,334
Maybe we could use
two buspersons around here,
412
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:42,567
but I really don't know
if I should hire you back
413
00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:43,701
after the way
you were acting
414
00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:45,367
around here, D.J.
415
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:49,067
I think, at least,
you owe me an apology.
416
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:50,634
I'm sorry.
417
00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,000
Tell me you love me.
418
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,334
What?
419
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,968
Tell me you love me
or no job.
420
00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:03,734
All right,
I love you.
Jeez.
421
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:06,467
Great, that's wonderful.
422
00:20:06,467 --> 00:20:08,767
Okay, welcome back.
423
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:12,100
Well, do you think
tonight you could go
to a movie with me?
424
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,934
Yeah, sure.
425
00:20:13,934 --> 00:20:16,133
But, you know, D.J.,
I don't approve of movies
426
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,567
with sex
and violence in 'em,
427
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:21,868
so you'll just have to
pick one or the other.
428
00:20:21,868 --> 00:20:24,334
Okay.
Okay.
429
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,734
You get your job back?
430
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,767
Yeah.
431
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,601
You ask your mom
to take you to the movies?
432
00:20:32,601 --> 00:20:35,100
Yeah.
Good work.
433
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,601
Well, how 'bout
at the movie
434
00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:39,067
I have to buy
some popcorn?
435
00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:42,968
Nice touch.
436
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:46,767
You know, D.J.,
you're really doing
437
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,701
a good thing
for your mom here.
438
00:20:48,701 --> 00:20:50,701
One day, you're gonna be
really glad you came back.
439
00:20:50,701 --> 00:20:52,334
I'm already glad.
440
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,567
Did you see
the new busboy?
441
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:07,601
** ['80s porn]
442
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,767
You know, Stacey,
things have sure
changed around here
443
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:22,033
ever since you started
workin' at The Box.
444
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:24,400
Have they ever!
445
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,868
What do you mean?
446
00:21:28,501 --> 00:21:29,968
Hello.
447
00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,334
Some sailors told me
this was the place to come
448
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:33,801
for a loose meat sandwich.
449
00:21:35,434 --> 00:21:38,734
My, you're certainly
an attractive man.
450
00:21:38,734 --> 00:21:39,868
Too bad I'm married.
451
00:21:39,868 --> 00:21:43,767
Oh, wait, I forgot.
I'm a huge slut.
452
00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:46,033
I've always been a nice girl.
453
00:21:46,033 --> 00:21:50,467
I wish someone could
teach me to be bad.
454
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:55,334
Oops...
455
00:21:55,334 --> 00:21:58,934
I got whipped cream
on your shirt.
456
00:21:58,934 --> 00:22:02,367
Let me clean
that up for you.
457
00:22:02,367 --> 00:22:05,567
Yeah. And, you know,
this belt doesn't really
458
00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:09,467
go with these pants.
459
00:22:09,467 --> 00:22:10,968
Would you like
to hear about
460
00:22:10,968 --> 00:22:14,767
our three-for-one special?
461
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,734
How would you like
to get all hot
462
00:22:16,734 --> 00:22:19,734
and sweaty and gooey
and slippery?
463
00:22:19,734 --> 00:22:20,667
[snap]
[gasps]
464
00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:38,067
Man, don't you guys
ever clean this thing?
465
00:22:53,334 --> 00:22:56,234
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA