1
00:00:10,481 --> 00:00:12,481
I KNOW.

2
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,453
WELL, HANG IN THERE,
HONEY, OKAY?

3
00:00:14,445 --> 00:00:15,715
OKAY, BYE-BYE.

4
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,546
( phone beeps )

5
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,050
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE GOING TO SHAVE.

6
00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:23,523
WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?

7
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,404
I WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE
FOR MUTTON CHOPS TO COME BACK.

8
00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:30,157
THESE BAD BOYS
AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE.

9
00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:32,301
I JUST GOT OFF
THE PHONE WITH GABE.

10
00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:35,043
APPARENTLY GABE JUNIOR
IS QUITE A CHALLENGE.

11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,265
HE EVEN REFERRED TO HIM
AS "THE DEVIL CHILD."

12
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,039
WHAT GOES AROUND
COMES AROUND, HUH?

13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,710
- WHOO! UP TOP.
- ( laughs )

14
00:00:41,712 --> 00:00:43,742
MOM, TOBY'S NOT
TALKING TO ME.

15
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,254
TOBY, TALK TO CHARLIE.

16
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,776
- NO WAY.
- TOBY...

17
00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:49,577
HEY, DAD,
CHOPS ARE LOOKING GOOD.

18
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:51,320
OH, THANKS, PAL.

19
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,552
YOU KNOW,
IT TOOK FIVE TRIES,

20
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,533
BUT I FINALLY GOT A KID
TO BE NICE TO ME.

21
00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,686
TOBY'S BEEN GIVING ME
THE SILENT TREATMENT

22
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,428
FOR TWO DAYS.

23
00:00:59,430 --> 00:01:02,660
- WHAT'D YOU DO?
- NOTHING!

24
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,573
WELL, OKAY.
( sighs )

25
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,665
I TOLD SOME GIRL
THAT HE LIKED HER.

26
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,597
IT'S FUNNY HOW,
WHENEVER YOU SAY "NOTHING,"

27
00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:10,169
IT'S ALWAYS FOLLOWED
BY SOMETHING.

28
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,641
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

29
00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:14,153
NOTHING.

30
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,775
WELL, WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO ABOUT TOBY?

31
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,407
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT
TEDDY WENT THROUGH SOMETHING

32
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:20,680
LIKE THIS
WITH GABE ONCE.

33
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,211
DO YOU THINK SHE DID
A VIDEO DIARY ABOUT IT?

34
00:01:23,214 --> 00:01:26,424
I THINK SHE DID A VIDEO DIARY
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

35
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,488
( phone rings )

36
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,173
HEY, GABE.

37
00:01:34,165 --> 00:01:37,265
HI.
GABE JUNIOR.

38
00:01:37,268 --> 00:01:38,598
YOU DID WHAT?

39
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:42,169
YOU TIED YOUR DADDY
TO A CHAIR?

40
00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:45,483
HONEY, LISTEN TO ME
VERY CAREFULLY, OKAY?

41
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:48,606
DO YOU KNOW HOW
TO WORK A CAMERA PHONE?

42
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,640
GREAT.

43
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,212
( rock music playing )

44
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,624
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪

45
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,545
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪

46
00:01:56,547 --> 00:01:59,417
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪

47
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,320
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪

48
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,722
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪

49
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,803
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪

50
00:02:06,397 --> 00:02:09,497
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪

51
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,660
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪

52
00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:14,673
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪

53
00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:16,365
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪

54
00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:19,237
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪

55
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,870
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪

56
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:22,671
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪

57
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:25,623
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪

58
00:02:25,616 --> 00:02:27,646
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪

59
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,678
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪

60
00:02:31,682 --> 00:02:35,632
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪

61
00:02:36,627 --> 00:02:39,557
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪

62
00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,706
COMPUTER, BRING UP
TEDDY'S VIDEO DIARIES.

63
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,679
- ( beeping )
- Female Voice:
Accessing files.

64
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,751
CROSS REFERENCE
"SILENT TREATMENT."

65
00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,264
Hey, Charlie.

66
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:08,356
Well, crazy week
for the Duncan family.

67
00:03:08,359 --> 00:03:10,289
This is going
to be a long one,

68
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,521
so you might want
to get comfortable.

69
00:03:12,523 --> 00:03:15,833
Anyway, it all started
a few days ago.

70
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:17,426
( chuckling ) OH!

71
00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:20,398
CHARLIE, IT'S SO SWEET
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH TOBY.

72
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,801
YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD
BIG SISTER.

73
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,242
NO, I'M NOT.

74
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,405
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

75
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:29,336
I GOT IN TROUBLE.
THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT.

76
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:31,510
WELL...

77
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,682
YOU'RE STILL A SISTER.

78
00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:35,254
( doorbell rings )

79
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,518
HI, LAUREN.

80
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,990
HI, TEDDY. IS GABE HERE?

81
00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:43,891
UH, NO. DO YOU WANT ME
TO GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?

82
00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:45,904
YEAH, COULD YOU TELL HIM
I NEED TO TALK TO HIM?

83
00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:47,356
IT'S ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

84
00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:49,398
OH. OKAY.

85
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,530
UM, I'LL HAVE HIM CALL YOU.

86
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,602
NO, I REALLY NEED
TO DO THIS IN PERSON.

87
00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:55,274
ALL RIGHT.

88
00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:56,436
THANKS.

89
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,371
UH-OH.

90
00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:03,443
WHAT'S WRONG?

91
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,354
WELL, USUALLY
WHEN A GIRL

92
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,476
SAYS SHE NEEDS TO TALK
ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP,

93
00:04:07,478 --> 00:04:09,878
IT MEANS SHE DOESN'T LIKE
THE BOY ANYMORE.

94
00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:15,893
WE NEED TO TALK
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

95
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,559
Meanwhile, there was
some trouble brewing

96
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,832
in the neighborhood.

97
00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:26,765
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

98
00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:31,499
WELL, COME ON IN, DEBBIE.

99
00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,672
I CAME OUTSIDE
THIS MORNING

100
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,554
TO FIND
THAT SOME HOOLIGAN

101
00:04:35,546 --> 00:04:38,946
HAD RUBBED SOAP
ALL OVER MY CAR WINDOWS.

102
00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:41,009
SO I GUESS WHAT
I'M ASKING IS:

103
00:04:41,011 --> 00:04:43,811
WHERE WAS GABE LAST NIGHT?

104
00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:46,494
ALL RIGHT,
IT WASN'T GABE.

105
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,717
HE'S TOO OLD
FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF.

106
00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:49,618
NO, BESIDES, SOAP
WAS NEVER HIS THING.

107
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,360
EGGS, WATER BALLOONS,
TOILET PAPER--

108
00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:53,723
THAT'S REALLY WHERE
HE EXCELLED.

109
00:04:53,724 --> 00:04:55,404
WELL, WHOEVER IT WAS,

110
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,826
WE NEED TO CATCH HIM.

111
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,497
ALMOST EVERYONE
ON THE BLOCK'S

112
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,469
BEEN HIT BY
THE MAD SOAPER.

113
00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:02,832
YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

114
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,413
WE NEED
A NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.

115
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,005
OKAY, SO WHY DON'T WE GET
EVERYBODY TOGETHER TONIGHT?

116
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,777
- WE CAN DO IT HERE.
- OOH, COULD I CATER IT?

117
00:05:08,779 --> 00:05:10,409
I'VE GOT SOME NEW
IDEAS FOR APPETIZERS.

118
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,811
I COULD WRAP BACON AROUND--

119
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,742
OOH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

120
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,415
I'LL GO SPREAD THE WORD.

121
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:20,450
OH!

122
00:05:20,451 --> 00:05:22,321
MY CAR GOT SOAPED.

123
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,532
WHERE WAS ABE LAST NIGHT?

124
00:05:25,596 --> 00:05:27,626
IT'S GABE.

125
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,728
SO... HE'S GOT
A PARTNER NOW, HUH?

126
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,006
( door opens )

127
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,438
- HEY.
- HEY.

128
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,970
OH, GABE,
LAUREN STOPPED BY.

129
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:42,471
SHE WANTS YOU
TO COME OVER.

130
00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:44,423
- OH, OKAY.
- WAIT, HOLD ON.

131
00:05:44,415 --> 00:05:47,045
UM, SHE SAID THAT
SHE WANTS

132
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,617
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

133
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,620
( quietly murmurs )
OKAY.

134
00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,982
HOLD ON.

135
00:05:53,984 --> 00:05:55,594
COME SIT WITH YOUR SISTER.

136
00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:56,586
WE NEED TO TALK.

137
00:05:56,587 --> 00:05:58,087
- ALL RIGHT...
- ( sighs )

138
00:05:58,088 --> 00:06:01,088
HE SAID,
SLIGHTLY CREEPED OUT.

139
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:03,433
LOOK...

140
00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:05,004
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
WHEN A GIRL SAYS

141
00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:08,395
THAT SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP?

142
00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:12,439
THAT... SHE WANTS TO TALK
ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP?

143
00:06:12,443 --> 00:06:15,683
NO! GIRLS NEVER
SAY WHAT THEY MEAN.

144
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,446
SO...

145
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,709
ARE YOU SAYING WHAT
YOU MEAN RIGHT NOW?

146
00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:21,410
GABE-- JUST--

147
00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,882
LISTEN TO ME, OKAY?

148
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,463
MOST OF THE TIME
WHEN A GIRL SAYS

149
00:06:26,457 --> 00:06:29,487
THAT SHE WANTS TO TALK
ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP,

150
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,890
IT MEANS...

151
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,002
WELL, THAT SHE DOESN'T
WANT IT TO CONTINUE.

152
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,765
YOU MEAN,
SHE'S GOING TO DUMP ME?

153
00:06:37,768 --> 00:06:40,528
I KIND OF THINK SO.

154
00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:43,531
OH, MAN.

155
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:45,544
I THOUGHT EVERYTHING
WAS GOING GREAT.

156
00:06:45,536 --> 00:06:48,136
GUYS ALWAYS THINK THAT.

157
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,540
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I FINALLY GET A GIRLFRIEND,

158
00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:52,582
AND NOW SHE'S GOING
TO DUMP ME.

159
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,453
I MEAN,
I COULD BE WRONG.

160
00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:55,945
NO, SOMEBODY
WHO'S BEEN DUMPED

161
00:06:55,946 --> 00:06:58,416
AS MANY TIMES AS YOU
KNOWS THE DRILL.

162
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,522
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

163
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,634
LOOK, I KNOW IT'S HARD.

164
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,995
BUT WHAT DOES HAVING
A GIRLFRIEND

165
00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:07,526
EVEN MEAN AT YOUR AGE?

166
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,828
ALL YOU GUYS DO
IS GO TO THE MOVIES

167
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,429
AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

168
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,860
GREAT, SO I'M DEVASTATED

169
00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:14,742
AND MY RELATIONSHIP
WAS MEANINGLESS.

170
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,106
COME HERE.

171
00:07:20,971 --> 00:07:22,971
I KNOW IT HURTS.

172
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:25,584
DO YOU WANT TO CRY?

173
00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:28,816
I DIDN'T UNTIL YOU
STARTED HUGGING ME.

174
00:07:33,524 --> 00:07:36,564
WELCOME, EVERYBODY,
TO THE FIRST-EVER MEETING

175
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,087
OF THE EDGEWOOD DRIVE
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.

176
00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,559
OBJECTION!

177
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,061
I THINK
IT SHOULD BE CALLED

178
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:45,072
THE "EDGEWOOD DRIVE
NEIGHBORHOOD PATROL."

179
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,665
SOUNDS MORE OFFICIAL.

180
00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:49,868
ARE WE GOING
TO GET T-SHIRTS?

181
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,600
AND WE'RE OFF
TO A GREAT START.

182
00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:54,613
CAR'S ALL CLEAN,
MR. DOOGAN.

183
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:55,975
AH, THANKS, TOMMY.

184
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,106
WE'VE GOT TO CATCH
WHOEVER'S SOAPING OUR CARS.

185
00:07:58,108 --> 00:08:00,478
YEP, BUT FIRST,
WE SHOULD GIVE 'EM A NICKNAME.

186
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,680
OH, I KNOW--

187
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,982
HOW ABOUT
"THE MAD SOAPER"?

188
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,724
WONDER WHERE
SHE GOT THAT ONE.

189
00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,588
IS THAT ALL
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?

190
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,690
'CAUSE I PARK
IN MY GARAGE.

191
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,262
OKAY, BUT YOU CARE ABOUT
THE REST OF US, RIGHT?

192
00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:17,874
( laughs )
YOU PEOPLE CRACK ME UP.

193
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:19,268
I'M OUT OF HERE.

194
00:08:19,269 --> 00:08:20,899
OH-- UH...

195
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,171
BEFORE YOU GO,
MRS. DABNEY,

196
00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,213
CRAB PUFF?

197
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,175
DON'T MIND IF I DO.

198
00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:30,138
OH! UH...

199
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,212
I'VE GOT CATS.

200
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,046
WELL, HOPE THOSE
KITTY CATS

201
00:08:38,048 --> 00:08:40,788
ENJOY THE CRAB
AT $14 A POUND.

202
00:08:42,152 --> 00:08:43,192
I HAVE AN IDEA.

203
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:44,733
GO AHEAD, MRS. DOBBS.

204
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,295
I SAY WE BREAK
INTO TEAMS OF TWO

205
00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:50,597
AND PATROL
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AFTER DARK.

206
00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,131
WHAT DO YOU THINK, BERT?

207
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,642
WELL, I THINK
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

208
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,865
I'D LIKE SOMEONE YOUNG
WHO CAN STAY UP LATE.

209
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:58,207
I'LL TAKE HIM.

210
00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,768
I'M JUST HERE CATERING.

211
00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:03,270
YOU'RE EITHER WITH US
OR YOU'RE AGAINST US.

212
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,233
OH! HI, GABE.
YOU WANT TO COME IN?

213
00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:17,625
UH, NO.
I WANT TO DO THIS OUT HERE.

214
00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:20,228
DO WHAT?

215
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:22,090
I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU.

216
00:09:22,092 --> 00:09:23,262
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

217
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,343
BAD.

218
00:09:25,335 --> 00:09:28,335
GOOD, THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GOING FOR.

219
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:31,598
BUT I THOUGHT THINGS
WERE GOING SO WELL.

220
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:33,872
REALLY? ALL WE DO
IS PLAY VIDEO GAMES

221
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,284
AND GO TO MOVIES.

222
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,245
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED
DOING THAT STUFF WITH ME.

223
00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:39,648
OH, PLEASE.

224
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,810
"HEY, WAIT TILL YOU
GET TO LEVEL TWO."

225
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,752
I WAS FAKING IT.

226
00:09:45,616 --> 00:09:47,356
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.

227
00:09:47,357 --> 00:09:48,587
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

228
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,318
YOU WERE GOING
TO BREAK UP WITH ME.

229
00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:50,889
WHERE DID YOU
GET THAT IDEA?

230
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,991
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TALK
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

231
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,263
I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

232
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:55,874
I WANTED
TO UPDATE MY STATUS

233
00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,326
TO "IN A RELATIONSHIP."

234
00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:59,797
I WAS JUST GOING TO ASK
IF YOU WERE OKAY WITH THAT.

235
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,830
BUT NOW I DON'T
HAVE TO BOTHER.

236
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,376
TEDDY!

237
00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:12,611
YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

238
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,312
YEAH YEAH,
WHAT'D I DO NOW?

239
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,654
NO, NOT YOU.

240
00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:17,787
I MEANT TEDDY.

241
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:19,788
OH! PROCEED.

242
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,891
YOU DESTROYED
MY RELATIONSHIP.

243
00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:24,623
I AM NEVER TALKING
TO YOU AGAIN.

244
00:10:27,097 --> 00:10:29,327
GET INVOLVED
IN A 14-YEAR-OLD'S ROMANCE?

245
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,299
YEP.

246
00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:33,701
WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA?

247
00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:35,714
NOPE.

248
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:45,884
( Teddy sighs )

249
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,146
Well, Charlie,
I thought I'd given Gabe

250
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,377
some good advice.

251
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:51,118
But boy, was I ever wrong.

252
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,922
Gabe was really mad.

253
00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:56,934
And he was serious
about not talking to me.

254
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,759
HEY, GABE.

255
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,231
HE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU.

256
00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,704
GABE, I'VE APOLOGIZED
LIKE FIVE TIMES.

257
00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,037
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO DO.

258
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,800
( stammers )
COME ON!

259
00:11:11,802 --> 00:11:14,672
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
CURL UP IN A HOLE AND DIE?

260
00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:19,177
HE SAYS, "THAT'S FINE."

261
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,180
MAN, JUST SAY SOMETHING.

262
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,793
AT LEAST MAKE FUN
OF MY OUTFIT. COME ON.

263
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,116
I WORE THIS JUST
TO GET A RISE OUT OF YOU.

264
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,233
I CAN'T SAY THAT.

265
00:11:38,268 --> 00:11:40,968
AH, THAT'S FUNNY.

266
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:43,932
WHAT DID HE SAY?

267
00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:45,914
I FORGOT.

268
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,112
WELL, HERE I AM.

269
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,794
OH, HEY, MRS. DOBBS.

270
00:11:55,786 --> 00:11:57,786
WELCOME TO
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

271
00:11:57,788 --> 00:12:00,118
COMMAND CENTRAL.

272
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,250
YOU MEAN YOUR PORCH?

273
00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,802
YEAH.

274
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:06,125
OKAY.

275
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,796
LET'S GET SOME
EYES ON THE STREET.

276
00:12:09,259 --> 00:12:10,799
WOW.

277
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:12,401
SURE IS DARK
TONIGHT.

278
00:12:12,402 --> 00:12:15,212
MIGHT HELP IF YOU TAKE
THE LENS CAPS OFF.

279
00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:18,466
OH! HEY.
( laughs )

280
00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:19,768
THANKS, PARTNER.

281
00:12:21,111 --> 00:12:22,871
OKAY.

282
00:12:22,873 --> 00:12:24,473
OKAY.

283
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:28,146
YEAH, HE'S OUT THERE.

284
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:32,078
I CAN FEEL IT
IN MY BONES.

285
00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:34,892
WATCH A LOT OF
COP SHOWS, DO YOU?

286
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:37,755
10-4.

287
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,790
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
MRS. DOBBS?

288
00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:46,865
YOU AND I HAVE NEVER
REALLY HAD A CHANCE TO

289
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,137
SIT DOWN AND GET
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

290
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:50,939
- ( chuckles )
- TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

291
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:53,471
WELL, I'M A WIDOW.

292
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,483
I DON'T LIKE
TO STAY UP LATE.

293
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,475
AND THIS BENCH
IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

294
00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:00,149
GOOD NIGHT.

295
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:10,488
( jazz music playing )

296
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,160
IT'S A NICE CAR,
BERT.

297
00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:14,162
I ESPECIALLY LIKE
THE SEAT WARMERS.

298
00:13:14,164 --> 00:13:15,804
OH.

299
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,465
THOSE ARE ON?

300
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:20,867
GOOD. I THOUGHT I WAS
HAVING A HOT FLASH.

301
00:13:22,272 --> 00:13:24,472
NOPE. YOUR BUNS
ARE JUST LIKE MINE.

302
00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,984
WARM AND TOASTY.

303
00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,478
AND NOW LET'S TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.

304
00:13:34,144 --> 00:13:37,094
YOU KNOW, BEING OUT
ON PATROL LIKE THIS

305
00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:39,347
REMINDS ME OF MY DAYS
IN THE SERVICE.

306
00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:40,419
YOU WERE IN THE ARMY?

307
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,490
NO!
THE POSTAL SERVICE.

308
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,834
You're listening to KDOZ.

309
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,825
KDOZ, mellow music
for mellow people.

310
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,158
We put the Zs in
easy listening.

311
00:13:52,502 --> 00:13:53,962
YOU MIND IF I
CHANGE THE STATION?

312
00:13:53,964 --> 00:13:56,914
ONLY IF YOU CAN FIND
A BETTER ONE.

313
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,608
THERE IS NO
BETTER ONE.

314
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,084
THINK WE SHOULD
DRIVE AROUND A BIT?

315
00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:08,476
SEEMS LIKE
A LOT OF TROUBLE.

316
00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,148
YOU'RE RIGHT.

317
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,920
LET'S LET THE CRIME
COME TO US.

318
00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:16,164
MMM.

319
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,503
SO, DEPUTY DOUG

320
00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:27,195
LETS YOU USE
HIS PATROL CAR?

321
00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:30,637
DEPUTY DOUG DOESN'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

322
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,640
HE'S AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND.

323
00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:34,372
WHAT IF HE FINDS OUT?

324
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,254
JUST MORE MONEY
FOR THE SWEAR JAR.

325
00:14:37,247 --> 00:14:39,477
I GOTTA SAY,
IT'S KIND OF EXCITING

326
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,049
RIDING AROUND
IN A POLICE CAR.

327
00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:42,151
OHH.

328
00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:43,552
MUST BE FUN FOR YOU

329
00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:45,563
TO SIT UP FRONT
FOR A CHANGE.

330
00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:50,258
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

331
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:53,620
I'M JUST GUESSING YOU'VE
BEEN ARRESTED BEFORE.

332
00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:56,403
BECAUSE OF YOUR ATTITUDE.

333
00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:59,027
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

334
00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,629
THAT IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE,
DEBBIE.

335
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:03,670
I HAVE NOT BEEN ARRESTED.

336
00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:07,513
I WAS SIMPLY ASKED IF I'D LIKE
TO TAKE A RIDE DOWNTOWN.

337
00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:17,185
( doorbell rings )

338
00:15:18,648 --> 00:15:21,618
- HI.
- HELLO, NEIGHBOR.

339
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,421
WELL, YOU'RE IN
A GOOD MOOD.

340
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,623
OF COURSE I AM.

341
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,634
GABE AND LAUREN
ARE BROKEN UP.

342
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,496
THE DEVIL CHILD
IS GONE.

343
00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:30,158
THIS HOUSE IS CLEAN.

344
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:34,162
UH, LOOK.
THE THING IS,

345
00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,144
GABE AND LAUREN
BROKE UP BECAUSE OF ME.

346
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,236
GIVE MAMA A HUG!

347
00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:41,169
CAN I TALK TO LAUREN?

348
00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:42,441
LAUREN?

349
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,642
MY FAVORITE NEIGHBOR
WANTS TO SEE YOU.

350
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,324
( squeals )

351
00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,646
♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN ♪

352
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,378
♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN. ♪

353
00:15:51,381 --> 00:15:53,421
HEY, LAUREN.
CAN WE TALK?

354
00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:54,423
SURE.

355
00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:56,655
UM...

356
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,186
LISTEN,

357
00:15:59,189 --> 00:16:00,429
GABE BREAKING UP
WITH YOU

358
00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,190
WAS ALL MY FAULT.

359
00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:04,632
I TOLD HIM THAT YOU
WERE GONNA DUMP HIM,

360
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,304
AND SO TO AVOID
GETTING HURT,

361
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,196
HE DUMPED YOU FIRST.

362
00:16:08,198 --> 00:16:10,138
WHY WOULD YOU
TELL HIM THAT?

363
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,470
I WAS HELPING.

364
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,641
WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA?

365
00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,102
NO.

366
00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:18,706
AND SO EVER SINCE
YOU BROKE UP,

367
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,248
GABE'S BEEN DEVASTATED.

368
00:16:21,351 --> 00:16:23,751
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE?

369
00:16:23,753 --> 00:16:25,223
WILL YOU
STAY OUT OF IT?

370
00:16:25,215 --> 00:16:26,655
ABSOLUTELY.

371
00:16:26,656 --> 00:16:29,386
THEN... YES.

372
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,319
♪ OH, WHEN THE SAINTS,
OH, WHEN THE SAINTS ♪

373
00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:33,061
♪ GO MARCHING IN,
GO MARCHING IN ♪

374
00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:36,203
♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN ♪

375
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,666
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T TELL HER
UNTIL TOMORROW.

376
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:41,028
LET HER HAVE TONIGHT.

377
00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:43,171
♪ WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN. ♪

378
00:16:49,639 --> 00:16:51,639
MAN.
SOMEBODY GOT SOAPED.

379
00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:53,511
WHOSE CAR IS THIS?

380
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,783
( gasps )

381
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,647
MOM?

382
00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:00,188
MRS. DOOLEY?

383
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,020
YOU'RE THE ONES THAT HAVE
BEEN SOAPING THE WINDOWS?

384
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,521
HEY, BERT, WAKE UP.
WE CAUGHT THEM.

385
00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:06,804
YOU DIDN'T CATCH ANYTHING.

386
00:17:06,796 --> 00:17:08,326
YOU FELL ASLEEP
IN YOUR CAR,

387
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,158
AND THAT HOOLIGAN
STRUCK AGAIN.

388
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,730
IT'S MJ'S FAULT.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY UP.

389
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,812
IN THIS THING?
MAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU
STAY UP WHEN YOU DRIVE.

390
00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:16,665
WHO SAYS I DO?

391
00:17:18,668 --> 00:17:20,668
YOU TWO SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

392
00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:23,310
COMPLETELY
IRRESPONSIBLE.

393
00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:25,623
HEY, CHECK IT OUT.
A POLICE CAR ROLLING
BACKWARD DOWN THE STREET.

394
00:17:25,615 --> 00:17:27,645
( gasps )
SMOKING BISCUITS!

395
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,447
I FORGOT
TO SET THE BRAKE!

396
00:17:37,187 --> 00:17:38,527
HEY.

397
00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,088
YOU GUYS ARE
BACK TOGETHER.

398
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,390
OH, HAPPY ENDING.

399
00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,537
OH, COME ON.

400
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,370
YOU'RE STILL NOT
TALKING TO ME?

401
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,753
GUYS, EVERYTHING IS FIXED.

402
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,750
ACTUALLY, WE DECIDED
IT WOULD BE BETTER
FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP

403
00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:03,782
TO NOT TALK TO YOU.

404
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,555
BESIDES, YOU'VE GOT
BIGGER PROBLEMS.

405
00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:10,659
YOU!

406
00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:20,197
OKAY.

407
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,700
SO, LAST NIGHT'S
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH
DIDN'T GO SO WELL.

408
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,684
MY CAR GOT SOAPED.

409
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:29,806
MY ROSE BUSHES GOT
RUN OVER BY A POLICE CAR.

410
00:18:31,641 --> 00:18:36,521
WELL, THAT WILL FOREVER
REMAIN A MYSTERY, I GUESS.

411
00:18:38,348 --> 00:18:39,688
HERE ARE YOUR KEYS,
MR. DOOGAN.

412
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,289
OH, THANKS, TOMMY.

413
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,651
YOU'RE THE ONLY GOOD THING
ABOUT THIS WHOLE DISASTER.

414
00:18:44,894 --> 00:18:46,264
SEE YOU, EVERYBODY.

415
00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:48,256
NOT SO FAST, TOMMY.

416
00:18:48,258 --> 00:18:49,728
NEIGHBORS, I THINK I JUST
CRACKED THIS CASE.

417
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,129
( all gasp )

418
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,660
IT'S SO SIMPLE
A FOOL COULD SOLVE IT.

419
00:18:53,663 --> 00:18:55,213
AND I DID.

420
00:18:57,207 --> 00:18:58,667
WHO IS THE ONE PERSON

421
00:18:58,668 --> 00:19:00,238
WHO'S BENEFITED
FROM ALL THIS?

422
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,540
THE ONE WHO GETS PAID

423
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,672
EVERY TIME
THE CARS GET SOAPED.

424
00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:06,554
THAT'S RIGHT.

425
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,676
THE MAD SOAPER IS...

426
00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:10,548
LITTLE TOMMY DIXON!

427
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,920
( all gasp )

428
00:19:11,921 --> 00:19:14,581
ACTUALLY, IT WAS ME.

429
00:19:14,584 --> 00:19:16,234
THAT WAS MY NEXT GUESS.

430
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,227
MRS. DOBBS?

431
00:19:19,229 --> 00:19:22,829
MY STAKEOUT PARTNER?
DID NOT SEE THIS COMING.

432
00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:25,702
I CAME UP WITH
THE WHOLE SCHEME BECAUSE

433
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,835
I WANTED TO SPEND TIME
WITH BERT DOOGAN.

434
00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,567
( all gasp )

435
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,699
I WAS HOPING I COULD
GO ON PATROL WITH HIM.

436
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:34,401
IT WOULD HAVE WORKED TOO
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR PJ.

437
00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:36,814
NO NO, IT'S DJ.

438
00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,708
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME
NAPPING IN THE CAR WITH BERT.

439
00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:43,682
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK,
BERT?

440
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,563
YOU AND MRS. DOBBS?

441
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:49,758
CAN YOU COOK?

442
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:51,760
YES.

443
00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:53,221
OKAY.
WE'RE TOGETHER.

444
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,825
WELL.
THAT'S IT THEN.

445
00:19:57,827 --> 00:19:59,427
CRIME'S BEEN SOLVED.

446
00:19:59,429 --> 00:20:03,569
I GUESS THERE'S REALLY
ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO SAY.

447
00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:05,583
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: ONE,

448
00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:08,235
CRIMINAL SCUM: ZERO.

449
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,240
HOW LONG YOU BEEN
SITTING ON THAT ONE?

450
00:20:12,242 --> 00:20:13,782
TWO DAYS.

451
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,463
Anyway, Charlie,

452
00:20:25,455 --> 00:20:28,225
I'm really glad that
Gabe and Lauren are
back together.

453
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,227
But he's still not
talking to me.

454
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,831
Wait a minute.
I just remembered,

455
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,374
there's one thing that always
works on Gabe Duncan.

456
00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,707
Ever since he was
a little kid.

457
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,439
Tickling.

458
00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,572
TICKLING.

459
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,254
WHY DIDN'T I
THINK OF THAT?

460
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,715
OH, TOBY?

461
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,533
So...

462
00:20:55,525 --> 00:20:56,855
I guess now that he's 14,

463
00:20:56,856 --> 00:21:00,326
tickling game
is a bad idea.

464
00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:06,572
I REALLY HAVE TO WATCH
THESE THINGS TO THE VERY END.

465
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:09,968
IT'S NOT OVER
UNTIL SHE SAYS--

466
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,499
Good luck, Charlie.

467
00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,450
- HI.
- WHO ARE YOU?

468
00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,612
I'M YOU IN THE FUTURE.

469
00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:26,494
I'VE COME BACK
IN A TIME MACHINE.

470
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,886
OKAY.

471
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:30,519
SO,

472
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,520
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

473
00:21:31,521 --> 00:21:32,791
YOU'RE PRETTY.

474
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,992
AREN'T WE?

475
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,303
ANYTHING YOU
WANT TO ASK ME?

476
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,525
DID TOBY MOVE IN
WITH GRANDMA?

477
00:21:38,528 --> 00:21:41,728
STILL WORKING ON IT.

478
00:21:41,731 --> 00:21:43,471
WHAT'S GABE DOING?

479
00:21:43,473 --> 00:21:45,683
EIGHT TO 10.

480
00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:48,006
WHAT ABOUT MOM?

481
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,337
WHAT ABOUT MOM?

482
00:21:49,339 --> 00:21:51,079
DOES IT GET ANY EASIER?

483
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,840
( sighs )

484
00:21:52,842 --> 00:21:54,682
I COULD LIE
AND GIVE YOU HOPE.

485
00:21:54,684 --> 00:21:56,654
BUT NO.

486
00:21:56,646 --> 00:21:57,816
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?

487
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,887
NOTHING.

488
00:21:58,888 --> 00:22:00,788
I JUST WANTED TO TRY OUT
MY NEW TIME MACHINE.

489
00:22:00,790 --> 00:22:02,520
I'M OFF TO GO SEE
SOME DINOSAURS.

490
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,622
- WANT TO COME?
- OKAY.