1 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,700 You're due out in one minute. Where's your driver? Oh, he's getting ready. 2 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,280 Getting ready? 3 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,000 Oh, blimey, it's a two -hour journey, mate. 4 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:57,760 Got to take precautions in this freezing weather. We had a bright basin pool 5 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,580 yesterday, right out in a perishing country. 6 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,200 Oh, here he is now. 7 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,580 Lord almighty. 8 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,000 What you made up for, Eskimo now? 9 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,750 I say, what you made up for, Eskimo now? 10 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,350 What you made up for? I can't hear. I can't hear a word you say. 11 00:01:18,550 --> 00:01:21,850 Well, take them earmuffs off. You can't drive a bus with earmuffs on. You can't 12 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,990 hear. You can't drive, can you? You must be joking, mate. I wear what I like. 13 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:28,170 Two hours there, two hours back in that freezing countryside. 14 00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:31,970 I'm telling you something. That Gibber Hill run is the worst run in the depot. 15 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:33,190 I know. 16 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:35,270 That's why I put you two on it. 17 00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:39,890 Well, how long are we going to stay on it, then? Until I can find the worst 18 00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:43,250 The worst one? You must be joking. It's not the worst one. 19 00:01:43,610 --> 00:01:45,330 I'll tell you what, that's the worst run there is. 20 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,470 It's potholes that big, I'm telling you. 21 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,130 You want to come out there and try it? All right, I will. 22 00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:53,270 I'll come out this afternoon. I'll do it with a drop of fresh air. 23 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,650 Help to blow me cobwebs away. 24 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:57,110 Oh, is that what it is? I thought it was your moustache. 25 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:03,970 Puppy. Getting that bus out of it. I've got other buses beside yours to worry 26 00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:04,829 about, you know. 27 00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:06,150 Come on, Chalky, get out of it. 28 00:02:06,570 --> 00:02:09,870 All right, Anson, let's take it away. Well, give us a few minutes, will you? 29 00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:12,550 family said they're going to catch this bus. God knows where they've got to. 30 00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:15,170 What's your family want to get on this one for? Well, they're going to visit 31 00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:17,010 Ardmore, do you see? She lives at Hickley Green. 32 00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:20,170 It's cheaper by bus than it is by train, isn't it? Look, mate, old Hickler will 33 00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:21,690 be back any minute. We've got to go. 34 00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:24,450 Don't worry, here they are, here they are, here they are. 35 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,010 Come on, of course. 36 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,650 We nearly got the set waiting for you. 37 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:32,550 It was Ollie's fault. She couldn't find her travelling pills. 38 00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:36,340 And when she found her travelling pills, she couldn't find her Chilblain 39 00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:39,880 ointment. Well, it seems we're all set for a very happy day. 40 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:45,260 Now, Arthur, you know Olive always gets car sick when she takes a long bus ride. 41 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,100 Well, it's all right. We've got plenty of those little bags. 42 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,040 Oh, do you keep them under the seat? 43 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,580 Like they do in the aeroplanes? No, I have to keep me loose changing. 44 00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:56,040 The old, uh, Empire Bob's with on me. 45 00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,940 It's a very bumpy journey. 46 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,360 Yeah. 47 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,060 Two hours, I like that all the way. 48 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:04,839 Get on. 49 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,020 Oh, Stan, don't take any notice of him, love. 50 00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:12,320 Of course, in the old days, it was all right, you see. I used to sit her on my 51 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,260 lap and let her look out of the window at the little moo cows and the little 52 00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,040 piggy wigs. She was only 17. 53 00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:20,440 Yes. I was so rude. 54 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,660 I wasn't 17, I was only 7. 55 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,340 He was referring to your weight. 56 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:30,500 I'm not supposed to take Gelliford otherwise, am I? I'll keep moving then. 57 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:31,970 Hey, do you want returns? 58 00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,330 I don't know, mate. Well, you're coming back, aren't you? 59 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,590 Judging by the look of Ollie's face, I wouldn't count on it. 60 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:40,190 I'll wait and see. 61 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,120 Good luck to our board. Yes. Now, look, I'll tell you what. I'll pick you up 62 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,840 tonight at that shelter across the road here. 63 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:08,839 Oh, yes. 64 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,840 What time, Jack? 65 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,540 19 .35. 66 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,800 Yeah, yeah. OK, 19 .35. 67 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,020 Right, we'll wait for you. 68 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:17,620 Oh, no, we won't. We've got the inspector on board. 69 00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:19,079 Oh, blimey, yeah. 70 00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,399 You'd better see you on time, then. 71 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:24,120 All right, love. OK, tell him. I'll give you luck tomorrow. Yeah, OK. 72 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:27,660 Hey! 73 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:44,720 I mean, where's that perishing bus? 74 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:48,360 We've been waiting here over half an hour. 75 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,160 Are you sure it'll be Stan's bus? 76 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,260 If it's half an hour late, it's better be his. 77 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:57,720 What a day we've had. Oh, stop moaning. We had a lovely day. 78 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,740 Look at that lovely lunch Aunt Maud gave us. 79 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:04,100 Nobody cooks a rabbit parlor, my sister Maud. 80 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,380 For that, we must all be truly thankful. 81 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,440 My toes are frozen. 82 00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:09,940 Oh, stop moaning. 83 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:11,209 But it's so... 84 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,930 Cold, Arthur, and with this fog, every time I take a breath, my throat feels as 85 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:15,930 though it's on fire. 86 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:19,150 Well, if your throat's on fire and your toes are frozen, shove your feet in your 87 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:20,150 mouth. 88 00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:25,390 She used to do that when she was little. She used to lie on the rug with nothing 89 00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:27,490 on, with her little feet in her mouth. 90 00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:30,230 Do you mind? Not after that rabbit stew. 91 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:34,550 The tables were always damp. I suppose that's how she got chilled blinds. You 92 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,790 must have given them to yourself, love. 93 00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:38,250 Here. Is that Dan's bag? 94 00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:07,720 What do you mean? 95 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,040 We've been waiting here over half an hour. 96 00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:13,129 Don't say nothing. 97 00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:15,790 Here. Are you the one they call it now? 98 00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:20,630 Here, get set in there. Go on, then. 99 00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,390 Oh, blimey. 100 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,490 God, it's freezing in my cab. 101 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,550 Here, my heater's gone up the spout. 102 00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,190 Hello, Mum, how are you? Have a nice day. Lovely. 103 00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:32,340 Here. Aunt Maud said when I saw you, I must give you some special kisses. 104 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,720 Now, love, look. Did you put that vest I bought you, the string one, for 105 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,420 Christmas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sure got it 106 00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:43,280 on? Yes, yes. Well, let your mother have a little look. Look, don't undo it. 107 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,720 Whatever you want, because I just want... Oh. 108 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,750 Tan, you naughty boy, you're lying to your mum. Don't say it in front of him. 109 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:51,629 feel a fool. 110 00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:54,630 I couldn't find it. Olive's wearing it. Well, 111 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,350 it would never fit her. 112 00:06:57,690 --> 00:06:59,130 It was a bit tricky getting it on. 113 00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:04,650 String festies and kisses for my Aunt Maud. You're supposed to be running a 114 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:07,550 but they're not playing at me families. Come on, get in the cab out of here. All 115 00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:10,010 right, all right. Try and make up for lost time, eh? 116 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:12,970 Don't talk soppy. He's been driving through thick fog. 117 00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:14,910 It was only over the hill there. 118 00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:18,290 I was a driver. I used to drive this route many a time. It'll be a clear run 119 00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:19,290 from now on. 120 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:46,020 Oh, blimey, what a journey. 121 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,300 We've been going half an hour. He hasn't got out of bottom gear yet. 122 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,800 Oh, what's happened? 123 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,260 Have we stopped? 124 00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,960 I hope so. The driver's got out. 125 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,100 Is anything wrong, Inspector? 126 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,940 No, it's perfectly all right, madam. It's just a routine stop. Our drivers 127 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,120 very highly trained. They know this route like the back of their hands. 128 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,600 Right, that's it. I'm lost. 129 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,180 What do you mean, lost? 130 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,740 Well, I can't see where I've been. I can't see where I'm going. 131 00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,020 No, it's no good. 132 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,900 We'll have to wait till it lifts, this fog. 133 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,200 Don't talk wet. 134 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,360 Someone can walk in front of the bus with a lightning torch, can't they? The 135 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,940 road's probably clearer further on. Yeah, Arthur's quite right. That's the 136 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,600 inspector's job. Oh, is it? No, he can't do that. 137 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,000 No, I can't do that. 138 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:34,520 That's an extremely dangerous thing to do. 139 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,600 A couple of years ago, one of the inspectors got run over doing that. Did 140 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,820 Well, I second thought it wouldn't be a bad idea. 141 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:42,200 Don't talk ridiculous. 142 00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:45,220 With my black coat on, you'd never see me in front of there. Well, I tell you 143 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,840 what, you're wearing a white shirt. How do you feel about walking in front of 144 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,320 the bus with your shirt tail dangling out? 145 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,780 You puppy, you. 146 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:55,680 You know that's a dangerous thing to do. It can only be done by somebody wearing 147 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,960 a special light -coloured garment. 148 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,340 Hey, only if you're wearing a light coat. 149 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:03,420 Oh, don't be so horrible. The bus might bump into me. 150 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:06,460 Well, we've got a good maintenance department, darling. They can knock out 151 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:08,940 bump. Boy, Jane, I find it a bit of a job with you. 152 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:11,960 No, no, nobody's going to walk in front of the bus. 153 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,880 Here, there's a newsflash on the radio. 154 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,079 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 155 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,720 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now, 156 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:29,680 ladies 157 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:35,340 and gentlemen, coming up next, the great theme song from Frankenstein meets The 158 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,189 Ape Woman. 159 00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:37,630 Hey, Arthur, they're going to play your tune. 160 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:42,850 Stan, is it so thick? Can't you see to drive? 161 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:44,270 Let's have a look. 162 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:49,390 Ah, it's worse than ever. Thick? It's so thick you can show a button on it. No! 163 00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:52,170 Well, I'm afraid we'll be up tomorrow. 164 00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:56,630 Oh, Arthur, it'll be the first time we haven't got back to our bed for a night. 165 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,410 Oh, I suppose we must have gone to Brightside. 166 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,010 Oh, blimey, look at them all. 167 00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,050 It's like spending the night in a chamber of horrors. 168 00:10:30,650 --> 00:10:32,970 I wish we could cart him away and have him melted down. 169 00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:35,430 And what do you make this time? 170 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,750 Oh, blimey, it's nearly one o 'clock in the morning. 171 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,090 God, think of the devil, mate. 172 00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:45,850 Hey, does Arthur always go to sleep holding a newspaper like that? 173 00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,070 Well, what would you do if he was married to Olive? 174 00:10:51,849 --> 00:10:54,030 I'm going to bed with the Encyclopedia Britannica. 175 00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,150 Yeah, why does Olive keep her glasses on? 176 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,330 Because when she wakes up in the morning, she can't find them. 177 00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,810 Blimey, I'm starving and hungry. You got anything to eat? Nah, I'll bet old 178 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:06,370 Blackie has in that tin box. That's why he's touching it like that. 179 00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,850 Here, I'll tell you what. I've got a few peanuts here. 180 00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:10,910 Sorry, I got a bit mixed up with me change. 181 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,130 You fancy one? 182 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:13,690 I'm in your cupboard in fluff. 183 00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:14,950 No, all right. 184 00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:19,910 Here. What? Here, Jack. 185 00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:23,630 I bet you, Tanner, you can't get one of them peanuts in his mouth. 186 00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,250 Right, mate, you're on. 187 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:27,450 Go on. 188 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,050 Oh, blimey, he's a moving target. 189 00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:31,229 All right, then. 190 00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:32,230 All right, then. 191 00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,050 A bob if you get one in his ear off. 192 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:35,850 Two bobs if you get it up his nose. 193 00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:39,790 Don't be daft, mate. His moustache will get in the way. 194 00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,370 Need a hammer -piercing bullet to get through that hook. 195 00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:46,150 Hey, look, his gob's wide open. Get right between his tonsils, go on. No, I 196 00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:47,350 might swallow it and choke to death. 197 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:48,670 Only if we're lucky. 198 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:50,330 LAUGHTER 199 00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,470 Oh, I've got a tanner. That's a tanner. That's a tanner. 200 00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:55,589 Underarm knob. 201 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,410 Oh, no. No, mate. Tanner. You're in a tanner. 202 00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:01,710 I'll give him a little salvo. Yeah. 203 00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:03,210 One more. 204 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:04,510 There. 205 00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,070 That's a ghost door. 206 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,010 I've swallowed a tooth. 207 00:12:22,670 --> 00:12:23,670 Come out and find out. 208 00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:25,990 Oh, they're all there, aren't they? 209 00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:27,730 That's funny. 210 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:29,930 I could have sworn I had something to hold in my mouth. 211 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:33,850 Oh, 212 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,850 Arthur, do you want to snuggle up to me? 213 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:50,470 No, I just wanted to finish a rather interesting article I was reading on the 214 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,510 mating habits of pygmies. 215 00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:54,610 Good. You might learn something. 216 00:12:56,650 --> 00:13:00,990 Oh, I dropped a stitch. 217 00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:04,990 Hello, my old darling. You all right, love? Yes, love. My back hurts a bit. 218 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:07,550 Here, I'm making a jumper for Olive. 219 00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:09,030 Are you? Yeah. 220 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,750 Blimey, you'd never get that round her waist. 221 00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:12,670 No, this is only the sleeve. 222 00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:16,770 Arthur. 223 00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:19,050 Certainly not. 224 00:13:22,079 --> 00:13:23,200 No, you'll have to wait. 225 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,380 Mum! 226 00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,620 Oh, wait a minute, love. Here. What? 227 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:29,180 Are there any bushes outside? 228 00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:31,160 Bushes? What do you want bushes for? 229 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,520 That was her. 230 00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:34,740 Oh, yes, yes. 231 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,300 Any... Yeah, there's plenty there. 232 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,500 Well, yes, there are some. 233 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,740 Outside, but you'll have to get off the back. 234 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,740 Are you sure there are bushes outside, Sam? 235 00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:45,340 What do you want bushes for? You get outside there, you'll disappear. 236 00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:48,300 In fact, you'll find it a bit of a job finding your way back to the bus. 237 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,380 Oh, Arthur, did you hear that? 238 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,170 Stan says I might not be able to find my way back to the bus. 239 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:55,190 Really? 240 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,690 Yes, she might fall in a big hole or down in a pond. 241 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,810 You're always trying to raise my hopes. 242 00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:05,190 Well, she's only trying to cheer you up. 243 00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:09,990 Stan, here, love, I'll tell you what. Look, I've got some wool here. Take the 244 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,530 end of that and hang on to it and that'll guide you back to the bus. 245 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:14,189 There you are. 246 00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,190 Off you go. There you go, love. 247 00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:16,870 Gents to the right, ladies to the left. 248 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:20,490 Oh, right. 249 00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:21,930 She's in a hurry. Yeah. 250 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:26,370 It's like DC fishing, isn't it? Like playing out of shot. 251 00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:28,550 Or like Moby Dick. 252 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:31,570 Ah, it's stopped. 253 00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,290 She must have found a bush. 254 00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:38,350 Perhaps the bush wasn't big enough. 255 00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:44,730 Yeah, I saw a film about a fisherman once. He had to hold on to the line for 256 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,070 nine hours. Was he really? 257 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:49,250 Yeah. Well, if I'd have told him to go by, it could have happened to her. 258 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,120 What's she doing? 259 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,940 What's she doing? She must be hopping from bush to bush. 260 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,379 Stopped, innit? 261 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,380 Stopped. 262 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,040 I think she's settled. 263 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,020 It's a fair check. Could be it for a long time, mate. 264 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,200 Oh, 265 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,020 is that Olive? 266 00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:17,760 No, that was Olive. 267 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,500 Oh, guess it's as good as mine, isn't it? Hang on, I'll go and find it. 268 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,220 I suppose she took one look at your choppers and thought you was a farmer's 269 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:40,220 horse. 270 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,060 They are meant to be, as you will. 271 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:43,840 Oh, what do you know? 272 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:46,520 She must have had this round at all. Yeah. 273 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,580 Well, she's a Jersey cow, most probably knitting herself a pullover. 274 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:53,220 Jibbering jackass. 275 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,480 We can well do without your moronic jokes. 276 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,940 Don't you talk to my son like that. What have you done about it? He's been 277 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:04,339 driving in the fog. What have you done? I don't care. Go and do something. 278 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,680 What can I do? 279 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,359 Well, you a great beanpole. 280 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,859 There must be plenty of phone booths along the road. You'd get out there and 281 00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:13,619 phone a depot for a start, couldn't you? I don't know about that. I don't think 282 00:17:13,619 --> 00:17:15,220 the other passengers would like me to leave the bus. 283 00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:19,800 Very well, then. I will, then. 284 00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:21,180 Yes. 285 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:24,740 Well, go on. Make up your mind. You're going or coming or what you're doing. 286 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,500 Go on. 287 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,920 Watch it. 288 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,660 I may be gone for some considerable time, ladies and gentlemen. Good. 289 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:36,760 Yes, I do. 290 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:40,920 And don't worry. I'll get through, all right. I'll get through. Don't worry. 291 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:45,760 Don't worry. Go on, then. There he goes. The Luxor District Bus Company's John 292 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,760 Wayne. 293 00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,800 100 % true grit. Yeah. 294 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,300 Oh, well, I don't think we shall see him for a bit, then. 295 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,840 What's the matter? 296 00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,500 I've forgotten the telephone number of my office. 297 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:01,780 It's on my clipboard down there. 298 00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:03,020 Oh, there you are. 299 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,280 There you are. Thank you. 300 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,220 Don't worry, I'll get through to the depot, ladies and gentlemen. 301 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200 Don't hurry back. 302 00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:10,300 Oh, well, I think we've got rid of him now. 303 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,100 Oh, God. 304 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,520 What's the matter? Lost your clipboard? No, I haven't got sixpence, actually. 305 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,239 Here you are. 306 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,240 Everyone on the company. 307 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,920 I'll get through, all right? Don't worry, ladies. 308 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,860 Well, shut the door. Shut the door, Jack. 309 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:28,460 Here, Sam, while he's gone, look at his snack box. I bet he's got some grub in 310 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,240 there. Yeah, well, the way he was clasping it. 311 00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:34,830 God damn it, the cheeky son. He's got two packets of crisp. I knew he had a 312 00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:38,470 secret voice. Hey, hey, hey. I think those should be distributed equally 313 00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:41,390 the passengers. Yes, I'll wake Olive up. No, no, let her sleep. 314 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,990 She must have her share. 315 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,950 Come on, love, wake up. 316 00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:48,230 Wake up, love. 317 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:49,970 There's food. 318 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,570 What flavour are they, Stan? 319 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,170 I don't know yet. 320 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:03,510 Bacon, I think. 321 00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:06,730 Yeah, I'm sure they're bacon. 322 00:19:08,510 --> 00:19:09,510 No, no. 323 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,810 Cheese and onion. 324 00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:17,830 No, I'm not a liar. 325 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:22,910 They're plain. 326 00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:26,430 Yeah, we'll share them out equally. 327 00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:30,050 Well, when you do it, you might remember you've had half a packet yourself. 328 00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:35,190 One for you. 329 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:36,550 One for you. 330 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:38,850 One for you. 331 00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:40,650 One for you. 332 00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:42,530 One for you. 333 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,090 Hey. One for you. 334 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:45,309 Hey, hey. What? 335 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,070 Do you mind telling me why it is I seem to be getting all the small ones? 336 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,650 Well, if you like, I'll shuffle them up like a pack of cards, you know. 337 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:55,030 Yeah, well, you might tell me one off the bottom. Oh, sorry, mate. 338 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:07,510 I lost me sixpence. 339 00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:11,370 I walked right into a ditch. 340 00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:12,750 You know me some hero. 341 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,970 Oh, look at his feet! 342 00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:17,390 Yeah, you better take your boots off. 343 00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,290 I've got them off. 344 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:23,890 These are me socks. 345 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:29,650 What was you doing walking in a ditch with your boots off? I didn't walk in a 346 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:31,910 ditch with my boots off. They came off when I went to get out. 347 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,470 You left your boots in the ditch? 348 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:34,409 No, no. 349 00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,830 I fished them out, all right. Don't leave them outside. They weigh a ton. 350 00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:38,690 Oh, go on, Gim. Stop where you are. 351 00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:39,890 Oh, God! 352 00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:42,430 Don't be funny, mate. 353 00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,710 Don't be big funny. Mate, mate, mate. 354 00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:47,230 You're making a very nasty mess of my bus. 355 00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:49,870 I'm not having you on like that. You'll have to wash your feet. 356 00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,470 Oh, don't all have a berk. 357 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:54,730 How can I wash my feet? Don't have running water on the bus, you know. 358 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,610 Well, we do now, mate. Here. 359 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,490 Oh, God! 360 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:02,430 Oh, I hate you, Butler. 361 00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:05,130 Do I, too, mate? I do. 362 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,850 Look at me. Look, I'm smothered in mud now. 363 00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:11,890 Listen, some people pay a lot of money to be covered in mud. Yeah, I'll tell 364 00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,910 what, Blakey, your feet will have a lovely complexion. 365 00:21:14,630 --> 00:21:15,349 Come here. 366 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:17,930 I don't know what you did out there, but the fog's getting thicker. 367 00:21:18,550 --> 00:21:20,930 You don't have to tell me, mate. I'll just come from out there, ladies and 368 00:21:20,930 --> 00:21:22,450 gentlemen. I'm very tired of the cellar up there. 369 00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:27,350 Well, we'll be here till it gets light. Oh, sorry. Sam, when will that be, lad? 370 00:21:27,670 --> 00:21:28,670 Oh, 371 00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:30,670 good seven hours yet. 372 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,010 Seven hours? 373 00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:33,540 Oh, my good God. 374 00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,440 Seven hours like this, look, without a clean pair of socks on. 375 00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:39,280 Well, you don't have to worry, Blakey. We'll get you another pair of socks. 376 00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:40,739 Will you? Where? 377 00:21:40,740 --> 00:21:42,620 Well, Mum's got seven hours. She'll knit you a pair. 378 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,580 Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at our destination after travelling for 12 379 00:22:02,580 --> 00:22:05,700 hours and 6 minutes at an average speed of half a mile an hour. 380 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:10,820 Local time is 7 .32, and I'll be off with Captain Stan Butler and his crew. 381 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,020 Thank you for travelling with us. 382 00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,540 Oh, God. Hello, Mark. How are you? Oh, lovely. Back. 383 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,140 Here, there's only one good thing about it, Stan. Yeah, what's that, Mum? Look, 384 00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:20,160 I've finished my jumper. 385 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,380 Oh, lovely. 386 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,780 Well, I shall not forget it in a hurry. 387 00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:29,490 I think it's quite disgusting being charged 76 each for suffering all night. 388 00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:31,550 you don't shut your face, we'll give you another ticket. 389 00:22:31,790 --> 00:22:32,649 Aye. 390 00:22:32,650 --> 00:22:34,210 Your ticket run out at midnight. 391 00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:35,449 Give him one. 392 00:22:35,450 --> 00:22:36,450 Oh, shut up. 393 00:22:37,470 --> 00:22:39,230 Oh, Arthur, don't look at me. 394 00:22:39,530 --> 00:22:42,310 Seven hours without sleep, what must I look like? 395 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:43,570 Better than usual. 396 00:22:45,930 --> 00:22:46,930 Hello, Blakey. 397 00:22:50,790 --> 00:22:53,090 Oi, you going for a quick paddle, are you? 398 00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:55,730 Anyone about? 399 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:58,790 I wouldn't like any of the Clippers to see me in this deplorable condition. 400 00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:02,690 Well, I don't think your bare feet are going to send the Clippers sex mad. 401 00:23:05,290 --> 00:23:06,650 Oh, look, that's freezing! 402 00:23:08,390 --> 00:23:09,390 Here's Stan. 403 00:23:09,490 --> 00:23:12,610 When's the next bus for? How long do we have to wait? 404 00:23:13,490 --> 00:23:14,490 Two hours, Mum. 405 00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:17,390 Why? Well, it's Sunday service, isn't it? Oh. 406 00:23:17,850 --> 00:23:20,910 Well, I'm not waiting in this freezing cold demo two hours. 407 00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:24,330 All right, then. There's only one thing. We'll get back on the bus then. Oh, 408 00:23:24,330 --> 00:23:25,330 Stan!