1
00:00:00,950 --> 00:00:02,330
How long do we have to keep him here?

2
00:00:02,690 --> 00:00:04,090
The Cubs win the World Series.

3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:05,910
It could be a while.

4
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:07,590
All right.

5
00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:09,570
Everything's going to be all right.

6
00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:14,150
First of all, we're going to get you a
new place to live.

7
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,190
We're going to get you a new job.

8
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,830
We're going to even give you a new name.

9
00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:19,770
Your name now is Ed.

10
00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:23,010
Ed's Game Blower.

11
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:25,750
I'm sorry. I'm still a little wrong.

12
00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:27,170
How about Ed?

13
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:28,850
Dream wrecker.

14
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,810
Wait, Jim, your keys.

15
00:00:37,310 --> 00:00:38,630
Don't you ever learn?

16
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,350
Oh, baby.

17
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,360
Okay, Ruby.

18
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:05,060
Four times nine is?

19
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:07,800
Uh, 49?

20
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:11,920
42.

21
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:13,780
36.

22
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,200
38?

23
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,840
What? You had it.

24
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,640
Ruby, I gave you the thumbs up.

25
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,320
I thought you meant go higher.

26
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:29,440
Dana, you can't help her with the
answers. No, I can't help. but it's so

27
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,320
to watch, like Jim trying to pick which
fork to use at a fancy restaurant.

28
00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,840
Mommy, I don't want to do this anymore.

29
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,180
Can we stop?

30
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:42,140
No, honey, you have to learn this. The
SATs are less than ten years away.

31
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:48,720
Cheryl, my love, I'm in the coupon
section here, and I don't see anything

32
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:49,720
out.

33
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:54,540
I mean, we got mac and cheese, party
mix, generic pop. You missed everything.

34
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,080
I'm trying to do homework in here.

35
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,220
Oh, come on, you've been at it for an
hour. How long can a second grader's

36
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:05,720
homework take? I mean, Columbus seal,
the ocean blue, something, something,

37
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:06,720
my shoe.

38
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,420
Look, this is second grade math. If she
doesn't get this now, she's going to

39
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:14,340
fall behind. I know, and then she's
going to end up living in a bus station

40
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:15,340
behind a candy machine.

41
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:17,480
Come on!

42
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,560
Would you let me handle this?

43
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:20,320
Educating the girls should be my
department.

44
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:21,740
What?

45
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:23,900
Why?

46
00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:27,060
Well... Why, why, why, why?

47
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:29,570
Why? Because you think you're smarter
than me?

48
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:31,870
Is that what you're saying? That's what
everybody's saying.

49
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,770
What? You were in the National Honor
Society.

50
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:40,770
Well, it's not something I like to go on
and on about. I mean, it was automatic

51
00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:42,210
if you got straight A's.

52
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:43,950
Every year.

53
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:46,690
Four years in a row.

54
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,610
Wow. What'd you get, Jim?

55
00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:50,910
I got a career.

56
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:52,870
I got a house.

57
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,510
And I got an honors student who brings
me beer.

58
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,200
All right, Ruby, sweetie, we've got to
get back to these flashcards. We still

59
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,760
have to do our five and six times table.

60
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:06,300
I hate math.

61
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,500
I wish math would die.

62
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,920
Ruby, don't say that.

63
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,880
Math can be an incredible adventure.

64
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,700
Not when you're teaching it.

65
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,980
Come on, she's like me. She's not a
flashcard person. Maybe she likes to

66
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:24,980
little fun with it.

67
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:26,200
Yeah, I don't think so.

68
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:29,930
You know what the problem with you hoity
-toity honor society people is? You

69
00:03:29,930 --> 00:03:31,450
always think your way is the best way.

70
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,330
Daddy, he's a toity.

71
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,590
Yes, I did. See, I already have her
interest.

72
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,850
All right, you think you can do better
than I can? Yes, I can.

73
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,090
Oh, sure, I'll let him do it. This will
be a hoot.

74
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:48,010
Fine, you do it. I will.

75
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:49,970
And I'll make it fun.

76
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:52,690
Because nobody learns anything without
entertainment.

77
00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,210
That's why Vegas is so popular.

78
00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:03,840
Okay. Now, I've got two handfuls of
marshmallows

79
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,880
in Uncle Andy's mouth.

80
00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:09,980
Nine in each handful.

81
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:18,279
Two times nine is... Eighteen. Okay,

82
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:21,659
okay, okay, okay.

83
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,460
So if I put another nine...

84
00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:30,580
doing?

85
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,300
Alright, listen.

86
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:38,680
So, if 2 times 9 is 18, 3 times 9

87
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,200
is... 14?

88
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,500
No.

89
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,440
Not less, Ruby.

90
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:51,440
27. 3 times 9 is 27.

91
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,140
So, what's 3 times 9?

92
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,500
And I ate two times five hot dogs, eight
times ten french fries, and two -thirds

93
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,860
of a pie. We didn't do fractions.

94
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,680
I know, I like pie.

95
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,560
All right, come on, honey, honey, I love
you so much, I really do, but we've got

96
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,540
to get going here. No, no, no, no, no.

97
00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:26,200
Just let Cheryl do it. No, I'm not going
to let Cheryl do it. We've still got

98
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,780
five more of these stupid worksheets.
Five?

99
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,820
Oh, I hate math, I wish I would die.

100
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:36,430
remember getting this much homework in
the second grade? Please, second grade

101
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:37,770
was all about boogers and paste.

102
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:42,470
Ruby, how come you have so many
worksheets?

103
00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:45,390
Nick Taylor makes us bring home what we
can't finish in class.

104
00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:48,110
I try to go fast, but that makes it even
harder.

105
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,710
Oh, God, you sound just like me when I
was in school.

106
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:53,470
Did the numbers spin around in your head
and swear at you?

107
00:05:55,130 --> 00:05:56,130
No.

108
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:58,890
Oh.

109
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:04,970
No, no, no, honey. We got to keep going.
We got to keep going. You know what

110
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:06,490
used to help me with numbers and stuff?

111
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:10,830
It's like a rhyme or a song or something
like that. Give me a beat. Give me a

112
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:11,830
beat. Give me a beat.

113
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:19,270
My name is 18 and I'm two times nine.

114
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,870
Man, I'm doing fine.

115
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,650
Really want to get up to heaven.

116
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:26,710
Three times nine is 20.

117
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,680
Uh, Mrs. Steeler?

118
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:39,540
Hi, I'm Jim.

119
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,740
I'm Ruby's father.

120
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,600
Well, hi there, Dad.

121
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:49,280
Your Ruby is such a joy. Oh, thank you,
thank you. Can we talk about her

122
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,640
homework? Dad likes to get right to the
point.

123
00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:56,580
Uh, could you not call me Dad? It's kind
of freaking me out a little bit.

124
00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:59,140
Listen, uh...

125
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,140
Mr. Taylor, I don't want to tell you how
to do your job, okay? But what you're

126
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,240
doing is totally wrong.

127
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,480
I mean, you know, these kids talk.

128
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,620
And the word on the playground is that
you're kind of a hard -ass.

129
00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:14,680
Yes, I've read that on some of the
bathroom walls.

130
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:19,140
I think you're giving Ruby way too much
homework. Can you cut back a little bit?

131
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,800
I'm sorry my hands are tied. I have to
follow the state's curriculum.

132
00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:26,940
Maybe Ruby needs a little more help with
her homework. No, no, no, no, no, but I

133
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:30,000
am helping her. I'm up all night. I
can't do that anymore.

134
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,580
Well, what about your wife? Can't she
help? No, no, no, no, she can't do that.

135
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,640
No, no, no, she can't help.

136
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,940
Is there a problem with your wife?

137
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:44,270
Yes.

138
00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:47,310
Would you like to talk about it?

139
00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:52,330
No, it's kind of personal.

140
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:57,550
Well, that's why we're here. If there's
a situation at home, I can make an

141
00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:59,350
exception and lighten Ruby's workload.

142
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:05,030
Oh, that's great. Thank you so much. But
I would need to know exactly why your

143
00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:09,650
wife is unable to help your daughter.
Oh, I just don't know if I can talk

144
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,810
it. It would be our secret.

145
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,760
Well, I just...

146
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,000
interested or is it just a commercial?

147
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,440
Hold that thought. The show's back on.

148
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,500
Oh, why aren't you guys doing homework?

149
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,520
We finished an hour ago. And here's a
golfing toddler who really taught dad

150
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,460
meaning of the word back swing.

151
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,520
Right in the cross.

152
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,520
Hey, give a kid a golf club stand back,
juniors.

153
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:26,340
So, Ruby, you finished all your
homework?

154
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,800
Yeah. Every bit of it.

155
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,400
Wow. And a lot.

156
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:33,310
Faster than she did with the honors
student. You might have to give up those

157
00:09:33,310 --> 00:09:34,310
flashcards.

158
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,130
Oh, look out for the rake.

159
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:40,470
Oh!

160
00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:42,430
Rake the frog!

161
00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:45,810
All right, all right, all right. Enough
frog stuff.

162
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:50,910
Hey, hey, hey! Come on, come on! That
ain't cool, man. That is not cool.

163
00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:51,910
girl, bummer girl.

164
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,950
Girls, go to bed.

165
00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:56,050
Andy, Dana, go home.

166
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,400
for art class.

167
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,000
Please tell Ruby's mother she needs a
smock for art class.

168
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:20,339
What I said.

169
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,440
Why don't you send a note from me to
you?

170
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:23,960
I don't know, Cheryl.

171
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:26,380
It's a crazy world out there.

172
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,720
I once saw a dog with a bird writing on
his back.

173
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,000
Explain that, not explain the note.

174
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,320
Hey, has anybody seen my cell phone?

175
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,560
Oh, yeah. Right here. Here it is.

176
00:10:49,390 --> 00:10:50,209
Ruby's mom.

177
00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:51,790
Well, hi there, Mom.

178
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,290
Yeah, we met at back -to -school night,
remember?

179
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:56,610
Of course.

180
00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:59,110
You're the one who had trouble finding
the classroom.

181
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:04,090
Yeah, well, those signs can be pretty
hard to figure out. Of course they can.

182
00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:09,870
Well, here's the smock you wanted for
Ruby that you asked for in the note you

183
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,870
sent to my husband.

184
00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:13,710
You know, I was wondering, why didn't
you send the note to me?

185
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:17,970
Well, I just thought it would be easier.

186
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,700
Well, actually, no.

187
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,040
No, you can send the notes to me. I
promise I'll let Jim read them.

188
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:29,580
Sit with me, Mom.

189
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,900
Yeah, could you not call me Mom?

190
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:33,980
It's kind of freaking me out.

191
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,880
This is Clara by A Hat.

192
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,540
Oh, please. I'd know that book anywhere
just by the colors.

193
00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,870
Yeah, Jim reads that to the kids every
night.

194
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:50,550
But you don't.

195
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:54,310
No, I am thrilled to have him read to
the kids. If that's the one thing he

196
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,110
that I don't, that's fine with me.

197
00:11:57,530 --> 00:12:01,130
But it's not fine when Dad isn't around,
is it, Mom?

198
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,550
What?

199
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,110
It's all right, Cheryl. This is a safe
place.

200
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:08,490
I know.

201
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:09,890
Know what?

202
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:15,490
When Dad was here asking for less
homework for Ruby, he opened up to me.

203
00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:17,730
Jim was here?

204
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:21,210
Yes. And he told me you can't read.

205
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,370
Did he?

206
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:38,870
So what time are the other PTA moms
getting here? Any second.

207
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:43,030
This is going to be great. This is the
first time the PTA has ever sanctioned a

208
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,030
hit.

209
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:48,160
Here's Jim Wright telling people you
can't read.

210
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,780
Yeah, read this, fucko.

211
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,680
You know, you're supposed to grab
yourself when you say that.

212
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:56,800
Ew.

213
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,580
Just saying, grab something.

214
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:03,380
You know what I like, Andy?

215
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,180
What? Television.

216
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:10,600
Me too. It's like they've taken all the
interesting people in the world and put

217
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,600
them in a box. Yeah.

218
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,620
Sure, what's going on? Oh, honey, the
PTA meeting is going to be here tonight.

219
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:23,280
I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you.

220
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,080
Make yourselves at home. I'll be right
back.

221
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,420
PTA?

222
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:30,220
Hey, Thandie, Sarah, Dixie.

223
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,100
Oh, I wish I was in a land of cotton.

224
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,840
So, your husband, is he still in a coma?

225
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:45,680
I'm divorced.

226
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,410
Oh. Yeah, that's right. How you doing
with that?

227
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:49,990
It's been rough.

228
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:51,350
Yeah.

229
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,390
Well, you're holding up well.

230
00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:58,930
It's never going to happen.

231
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,930
This one's sending me mixed signals
here, Jim, so I'm out of here.

232
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:08,670
All right, ladies, I'm going to get out
of here here.

233
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:12,290
But if you could try to wrap it up by
nine, because that's when the pants come

234
00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:13,290
off.

235
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:19,310
I want to let you know, if you need help
with anything, just call.

236
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,830
Yeah, sure. What would I need help with?

237
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:25,250
Mrs. Taylor told us about Cheryl's
reading problem.

238
00:14:27,690 --> 00:14:28,910
No, no, no, no, no, no.

239
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:30,690
That's not a problem.

240
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,050
Oh, Jim.

241
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:36,070
Ignoring it is not the answer. We need
to bring it out in the open.

242
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:38,370
That is the worst thing you can do with
a problem.

243
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,310
You need to sit on it and forget about
it until it fixes itself.

244
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:43,509
All right.

245
00:14:43,510 --> 00:14:44,510
Let's get going.

246
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,560
Sure, do you mind if I join you?

247
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:53,040
Really? Yeah, I mean, I'm a P, here's
the T -A, we're together now.

248
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:00,800
Okay, let's get started.

249
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,180
Here are the agendas.

250
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,480
Jim, you may want to hold Cheryl's for
her.

251
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,520
Hold my own agenda?

252
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,820
Oh, sure you can, sweetie.

253
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:12,940
You've got that upside down, baby.

254
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,900
Okay, what do you say we whip through
this meeting really quick, all right?

255
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,980
Let's see, first item here is a bake
sale.

256
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:28,660
Okay, signs, a setup, and snacks. I'm
thinking you, you, and you. Okay, what's

257
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,320
next? Hey, I want to do the signs.

258
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,240
Is that such a good idea?

259
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,420
Of course, why?

260
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:38,140
Cheryl, because you can't. What?

261
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,380
Well, you got all these commitments, and
you're too busy. You're really too

262
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,060
busy. Well, maybe you can make the
signs.

263
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,580
We need 200 signs by Monday. Are you
sure?

264
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,440
Takes a village, Cheryl.

265
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,580
Okay, next up, library committee.

266
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:02,100
Me! Oh, Cheryl, I'm not sure that's
really the right job for you.

267
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,420
Why not?

268
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,880
Well... It's because someone has taken
it already, honey.

269
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,200
Who?

270
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,620
Me!

271
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,280
Terrific. We meet every Monday night at
the library from 8 to 10.

272
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,459
Monday night?

273
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,500
That's Monday night football.

274
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,640
Okay, what do you say we meet at a
sports bar?

275
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,220
Everybody know where Cleavage's is? Show
of hands.

276
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,900
Jim, Jim, come on. It's fine.

277
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:30,999
I'll do it.

278
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,960
No, Cheryl, you can't. I'll handle it.
Okay. I'll do it.

279
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,480
Can I get everybody drinks, or do you
want to do that, too? That'd be great.

280
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,500
drinks. Okay. That's great. Thank you,
honey. Okay, so, Jim, we got you down

281
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:47,300
the bake sale and the library committee.
Okay. Okay, now let's talk about the

282
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,380
holiday pageant.

283
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:50,460
Santa.

284
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,080
Uh,

285
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,000
Cheryl, you want to grab me a six -pack
while you're in there?

286
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,240
Maybe two?

287
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,780
Oh, how's it going? Like a charm. It
couldn't be better.

288
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,640
Jim is going to be mother of the year.

289
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:08,720
Good, a great idea. How about I run out
there and I say, Cheryl, you put

290
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,780
cleanser in the cake mix. Can't you
read?

291
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,520
Yeah, that's terrible.

292
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,500
Jim, I have to tell you, I'm a little
uncomfortable with Cheryl carpooling our

293
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,180
kids. I mean, she can't read road signs.

294
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,000
What if a bridge washes out?

295
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,520
How would she know?

296
00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:30,660
I don't recall a bridge between here and
school.

297
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,020
I mean, there's a railroad crossing.

298
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,420
it you just have to pick up the kids at
seven all next week and no quick turns

299
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:47,340
my justin gets car sick listen maybe i
didn't make

300
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:53,560
myself clear when i said cheryl couldn't
read i meant to say she can read jim

301
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:59,500
don't be an enabler i i am not an
enabler she can read i know it okay

302
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,760
get her to read one of these agendas

303
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:08,450
Nothing. We'd like you to read this
agenda.

304
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:09,269
Here you go.

305
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:10,249
There you go.

306
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:12,910
Well, usually we just read these to
ourselves.

307
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:18,250
Yeah, well, I'm the chairman of the
library committee, and I'm in charge,

308
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:19,250
now you read.

309
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:23,650
I can't read this.

310
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:25,050
Why not?

311
00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:27,470
I don't have my contacts in.

312
00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:29,090
You don't have your contacts in.

313
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,140
These letters look weird.

314
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,360
What?

315
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,620
Is this even English? Of course it's
English. What are you talking about?

316
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,940
It says here, never try to pull one over
on your honor student wife.

317
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,180
pulled a sting on me in my own house.

318
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:17,040
Well, you deserved it. You went to
Ruby's school without me and asked for

319
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,040
homework.

320
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,560
Yes, I did.

321
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,100
Why did you do that?

322
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,500
Because I was trying to help Ruby. No,
no, no, Jim.

323
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,140
You were trying to help yourself because
you didn't want to admit that you had

324
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,900
just as much trouble teaching Ruby as I
did.

325
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,240
Why would I want to admit that?

326
00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:32,680
You're always saying, Jim, leave the
kids' education to me.

327
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,400
You're just going to push me aside like
I'm not smart enough.

328
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,840
Oh, hey, I never said that. No, no, no,
no, but you think it. Why don't you just

329
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,759
say it? No.

330
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,020
I'm going to give you a freebie here.

331
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:48,060
Really. Just say it. Say, Jim, I'm
smarter than you. No. Go on, say it.

332
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,260
I'm smarter than you.

333
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:50,700
How dare you?

334
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,660
You told me to say it. I know, but I
didn't think you'd be so convincing.

335
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,800
Daddy? Yes, honey? Come downstairs. I
want to do math with you.

336
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,480
What?

337
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:04,110
You want to do math?

338
00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:06,210
Yeah, it's fun when Daddy does it.

339
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:09,390
Oh, thank you, baby.

340
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:15,070
Go downstairs and get Daddy's math candy
out.

341
00:20:20,570 --> 00:20:21,570
See?

342
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:26,090
This is what I'm trying to tell you.
We're not all flashcard people. Some of

343
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,290
are marshmallow -in -the -mouth people.

344
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:31,490
You know...

345
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:36,390
It's a well -known fact that flashcard
people are sexier than marshmallow

346
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:37,390
people.

347
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:41,530
You got that right.

348
00:20:43,770 --> 00:20:45,130
Oh, honey.

349
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:51,430
Well, is there any room for a hoity
-toity honor student to help with the

350
00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:52,430
homework?

351
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:54,890
Cheryl, you said toity.

352
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:02,900
Seriously, I really do want to help, but
if I can't get my flashcards, what do I

353
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:06,160
do? Well, give me a beat.

354
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,040
What? Give me a beat.

355
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880
Oh!

356
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:18,360
How many marshmallows can you fit in
your mouth?

357
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,800
That's funny. You know, you're going to
want to bring that sense of humor to

358
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,540
your library committee meeting. Great.
I'll meet you at cleavages.

