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"The Herdmans
were absolutely the worst kids
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in the history of the world."
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They lied.
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♪ Twinkle little Christmas lights
Shining on the tree ♪
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They stole.
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♪ Never seem to shine so bright ♪
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Come back here!
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♪ Twinkle little Christmas star
Snowy fields and farms ♪
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They smoked cigars.
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♪ Guide me down the icy roads
And back to baby's arms ♪
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Even the girls.
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They hit little kids.
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Even if the little kids
were bigger than them.
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Hey!
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They took the Lord's name in vain.
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♪ Catch a fire in her heart
My favorite time of year ♪
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They cussed teachers.
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They even set fire to Fred Shoemaker's
old, broken-down tool shed.
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To be fair, the shed was ugly
and was about to fall over anyway.
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My father said, "Burning it down was
the only good thing the Herdmans ever did,
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and if they'd known it was a good thing,
they wouldn't have done it at all."
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They were just so all-around awful,
you could hardly believe they were real.
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No one knew why they were that way.
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It seemed they just came
out of the womb mean.
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And speaking of that womb,
us kids have never seen their parents.
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Some thought they'd given up and run away.
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My theory was that they
were the first parents to be kidnapped,
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tied up and robbed by their own kids.
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Ralph.
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Leroy.
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Claude.
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Ollie.
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Gladys.
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And the toughest one of them all, Imogene.
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All the same, except for different sizes...
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...and different black-and-blue marks
where they had clonked each other.
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Okay, everybody, find your seats.
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I hope you're ready for show-and-tell.
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- My first shower-and-teller will be...
- Me.
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Okay. Ollie Herdman is first.
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I'm... Wait.
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It's my cat, Spike.
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♪ Back to baby's arms ♪
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♪ Back to my baby's arms ♪
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- I can't see.
- That's me.
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- Hey!
- Did I mention they stole?
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What do you want?
This necklace or your neck?
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- Hmm?
- I chose my neck.
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I usually avoided trouble, but apparently
my favorite locket got her attention.
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Imogene was their unchallenged leader.
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She struck mortal fear
into anyone in her path, including adults.
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She especially didn't like Alice...
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- Hey, Cooties.
- Ow!
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...probably because Alice
was the exact opposite of Imogene.
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All the way down to her...
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Your hands smell like soap again.
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Hiding your cooties?
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It was head lice,
and it was one time at summer camp.
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But Imogene never forgets.
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- The Herdmans are just...
- I know.
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The Herdmans are absolutely the
worst kids in the history of the world.
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What'd they do now, dear?
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My mom gave me that locket.
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Nothing.
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The usual.
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Set something on fire?
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Dump soapy water down a school hallway?
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Steal your lunch and then punch you
for not havin' any candy?
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Something like that.
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Do your homework tonight.
Big day tomorrow.
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- Gettin' the Christmas tree.
- Great, Dad.
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I'm sure the Herdmans
will find some way to ruin it.
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That's not very jolly.
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God, this is a selfish prayer.
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I know I shouldn't pray it, but...
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can you send the Herdmans
somewhere far away until I grow up?
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Somewhere without many people.
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Maybe an island with no people at all.
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And violent, dangerous creatures.
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Either do that
or make me invisible until college.
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That would fix it.
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Thanks, God.
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Sorry for this awful prayer.
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We figured the Herdmans
were headed straight for hell
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by way of the state penitentiary
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until they got mixed up with my mother,
our church and our big Christmas pageant.
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That's my family.
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My dad, Bob, full-time accountant,
my mom, Grace, full-time mom,
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my brother, Charlie,
full-time smart aleck.
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Every year.
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Okay.
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Honey.
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Little help, please. Sweetheart?
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Normal family in a normal town.
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And this is our town.
It doesn't have much.
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The one thing our town was known for
was our church's annual Christmas pageant.
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It was a big deal.
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Even bigger this year
because of the anniversary.
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I'll tell you everything you need to know
about the Emmanuel Annual.
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This is the very first one,
the year our church and our town opened.
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Legend has it, the pageant
used to mean something,
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and that everyone in town
was excited to see it.
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They wanted to be reminded
of the beauty of the Christmas story.
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But I'm not sure the pageant
was all that beautiful anymore.
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This is us last year.
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That's Alice, you met her earlier,
in her third year playing Mary.
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And that's Mrs. Armstrong,
who's directed the pageant for forever
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and makes sure nothing ever changes, ever.
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In my opinion,
after the 74th same old pageant,
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it had all the depth and joy
of a recycled Christmas card.
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But keeping it the same
is exactly how the town wanted it.
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Because it was the 75th,
there was even more attention than normal.
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People from other towns were coming,
former cast members.
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It was even in the paper.
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And the Ladies Aid was helping with the
costumes to make them nicer than normal.
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- Is that level?
- Tilting to the left.
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- How about... How about now?
- No, that's worse.
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- Finally...
- What?
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...in local news,
'tis the season to remind you
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of the annual Christmas pageant
in the town of Emmanuel,
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which will actually fall
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- on Christmas Day this year.
- Hmm.
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They're advertising on TV now?
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Attendance and giving are down at church.
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The town needs visitors.
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I think they're desperate.
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Okay, just tell me when it's right.
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You don't have to tell me it's wrong.
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I'll just assume that it's wrong,
and you tell me if it stops being wrong.
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That's level.
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These are kind of hot.
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- Hold on.
- What?
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- There.
- Oh! They got...
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So, it's time to tell you
something about my mom.
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It's hard to sum up what she does
in a single sentence.
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Whether it was doing our
annual Christmas decorating together
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or making sure we participated
in the Christmas pageant
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even if we didn't want to,
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she kept our family on track.
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That was her main focus in life,
but that was about to change right now.
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- Careful.
- What's going on?
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Is that a Herdman fire?
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That's the Armstrong house.
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Oh, no. Mrs. Wendelken.
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Alice's mom, the queen bee
of the town supermoms,
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whose single glance... That's the one...
...could make my mom feel small.
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Tuck in your shirt.
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- It's under my coat.
- Oh.
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You're gonna be okay.
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Helen, are you in much pain?
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Yes. Terrible.
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I'm so sorry. What happened?
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I took a spill. Never mind how.
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Broke both of her legs.
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Both of them?
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Yes, both.
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Call Mr. Armstrong at the factory.
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And shut off the stove under my potatoes
or the whole house'll burn down.
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Inform the Ladies Aid
I will not be at the meeting.
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We need to find a replacement
for the bazaar.
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- Okay, that's a lot.
- And the Potluck Committee.
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And the Beautification Committee.
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- Of course.
- And the Christmas pageant.
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I'll need someone who can follow my plan.
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- Rebecca?
- Yes.
166
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You could do that.
Especially because of Alice.
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I can't, obviously.
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I'm too busy with my job
and the other committees.
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00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,734
But don't worry, Helen.
We'll find someone.
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I suppose I could try.
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That's okay, Grace.
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The pageant
is an especially big deal this year.
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You can bring the cookies.
That's your thing.
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I'm sorry, "my thing"?
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Bringing the cookies is "my thing"?
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Well, your store-bought brand
from last year were so tasty.
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You'll be great.
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- We'll find someone, Helen.
- Hmm.
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00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,890
One other thing about my mom,
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she preferred keeping life simple.
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But if one of the judgy town moms
challenged her, she'd try anything.
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Even...
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- Mrs. Armstrong?
- You did what?
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00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,610
Uh...
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00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:56,072
You volunteered
to direct the Christmas pageant?
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00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,240
She needed help.
187
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,658
Mrs. Wendelken was gonna find--
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00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,785
Mrs. Wendelken
doesn't have to do everything
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00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,204
and those ladies need to know
I am perfectly capable--
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00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,791
You realize that Armstrong woman is gonna
be calling this house ten times a day?
191
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,544
You didn't give her
our-our phone number, did you?
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00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,463
You promised she would never have it.
193
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,549
After Mrs. Wendelken said
that I could just bring cookies,
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it was all a blur.
195
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,051
Now I guess I have to attend.
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00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,430
And watch Charlie the shepherd
wearing my bathrobe again.
197
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,057
Oh, no. Did somebody die?
198
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,392
It's worse than that, son.
199
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,148
Your mom is running the Christmas pageant.
200
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:36,237
I bet you all think this is really funny
but the Christmas pageant is a tradition,
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00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,282
and it's important
and I can manage it just fine.
202
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:44,495
In fact, I told Mrs. Armstrong it's going
to be the best Christmas pageant ever.
203
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,999
Oh! I wonder who that is.
204
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,671
This was not good.
205
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,965
The pageant had to be great this year
206
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,967
and as much as I admired her
for stepping up,
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00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,178
Mom had never done
anything like this before
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00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,722
and didn't know what
or who she was up against.
209
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,725
I couldn't stand to see her fail
in front of the whole town.
210
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,435
- But...
- You got this, Mom.
211
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:15,735
God, please make it a good pageant
so Mom doesn't get blamed.
212
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,697
Now, why did I spend so much
time telling you all about the Herdmans
213
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,450
and our town's lather,
rinse, repeat Christmas pageant?
214
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,245
What could one
possibly have to do with the other?
215
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,622
You'll see.
216
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,875
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
217
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:35,505
As you know, once a month,
we ask the Sunday school to be in service
218
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,716
for the first 15 minutes
and do something special.
219
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,596
Sing a song, act out a parable,
or recite some Bible verses.
220
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,682
Before we bring them up,
221
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:51,104
I'm sure you heard about
Mrs. Armstrong's unfortunate accident.
222
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,939
She is recovering.
223
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:58,319
But I want to be sure to give
special mention to Grace,
224
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:02,365
for volunteering to direct
the Christmas pageant.
225
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,579
We are all very grateful,
226
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,624
especially with all the attention
the pageant is getting this year.
227
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:15,461
So good luck. No pressure.
228
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,297
All right, this month,
229
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,841
- Ms. Warren asked the kids to share...
- Mm-hmm.
230
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,426
...what they liked best about church.
231
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,344
Ms. Warren.
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00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,181
Go ahead, sweetie.
So just up there. Yep, big voice.
233
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:31,144
What I like best about Sunday school
is the good feeling I get when I go there.
234
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,815
Aw.
235
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,276
All right, Minnie, you're up. Go ahead.
236
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:39,569
Voice loud.
237
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,822
I love to sing hymns, and I love Jesus.
238
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,034
So cute.
239
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,703
Charlie, how 'bout you?
240
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,460
What I like best about church
241
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,129
is there aren't any Herdmans here.
242
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,434
Charlie'll tell you
some other things he likes next time.
243
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,353
No problem, yeah.
244
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,730
Happy Sunday.
245
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,940
Hmm.
246
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:24,655
What? There are other things I like
but she said, "What you like best."
247
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:28,034
And what I like best is no Herdmans.
248
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:31,788
Hey, that's not
a very Christian sentiment.
249
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,749
It's the truth.
And you say, "Always tell the truth."
250
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:44,926
When your dad says that,
he means not at the expense of kindness.
251
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,720
- Nailed it.
- Pulled that out of your...
252
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,056
The truth was,
the last three days in a row,
253
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:53,059
Leroy Herdman stole the dessert
from Charlie's lunch box.
254
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,229
Give it up, Charlie!
255
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,772
Why Charlie?
256
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,066
I guess it was his turn this month.
257
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,869
Day three of the siege,
Charlie surrendered.
258
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,914
Fine, take it. I don't care.
259
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,959
I get all the snacks I want
from church, anyway.
260
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,752
What kinds of snacks?
261
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:24,298
Chocolate cake, candy bars,
cookies, Kool-Aid,
262
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:28,511
ice cream, doughnuts, popcorn balls.
263
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:32,765
So go ahead.
Church gives me everything I need.
264
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,308
Too bad you'll never know.
265
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,019
You'd melt if you ever
showed up in a church.
266
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:41,607
Charlie's lie couldn't have
backfired more spectacularly.
267
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,444
That Sunday was our food drive.
268
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,821
Good morning.
Thank you for coming. Nice to see you.
269
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,030
Hello.
270
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,283
Good to see you. Thank you for coming.
271
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,955
You sure we got the right place?
272
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,582
They're here.
273
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,042
Oh, my goodness.
274
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,211
We can do this.
275
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,339
Just keep smiling.
276
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,758
- Where do you get the cake?
- Cake?
277
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,928
Yeah. Right over there, that's it.
278
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,639
Good idea, Leroy. We can work with this.
279
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,892
Are you here for Sunday school?
280
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:20,104
Aha! More school, he says.
I knew there'd be a catch.
281
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,481
Come on, let's get outta here.
282
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,650
No, no, no. It's, uh...
It's not like regular school.
283
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,154
You'll learn about Jesus
and you'll sing songs about him.
284
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,239
- Are your parents here?
- Mom's working.
285
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,951
We were told there'd be desserts,
free desserts, to anyone who wants 'em.
286
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:38,414
I'm sure I could rustle you
up something special after service
287
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,665
if you'd like to stay.
288
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,085
I will show you where it is.
289
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,423
Oh, boy.
290
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:52,011
♪ Jesus loves me, this I know ♪
291
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,932
♪ For the Bible tells me so ♪
292
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,478
Uh-oh.
293
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:07,360
Beth, you'd be happy
to have them sit by you, right?
294
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,863
Great. Come now.
295
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,836
Well, we haven't melted yet.
296
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,339
So they stayed.
297
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,341
♪ Jesus loves me ♪
298
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,968
They didn't sing any hymns...
299
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,887
♪ This I know, for the Bible... ♪
300
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,305
Our Father, who art in heaven...
301
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,974
...or say prayers.
302
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,017
Baby Jesus...
303
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,438
But they did
practice their drawing skills.
304
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,614
And made a little money.
305
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,409
All right, kids.
306
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,204
We're going to be starting rehearsals soon
for our Christmas pageant.
307
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,832
So please be sure to let your parents know
308
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,502
they'll need to stay after church
with you next week for all the details.
309
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,963
I do hope you'll be
in the choir again this year.
310
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,674
- Your voice, it's so...
- Grief, Alice.
311
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,136
I'm not gonna try and play Mary
just because my mom's running the pageant.
312
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,763
We want all of you to be there.
313
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,974
Hey, what's a pageant?
314
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,601
- It's a play.
- A play?
315
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,895
You know, like a movie,
but in front of people.
316
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,855
A movie, huh?
317
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,900
The Herdmans were big moviegoers.
318
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,069
Come here, you little...
319
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,946
Though they never paid their own way.
320
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,198
Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop! Stop!
321
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,285
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.
Don't you... Stop, stop. Stop, stop.
322
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,913
Hey! Hey, hey. Okay.
Okay! Hey! Enough! Dude. Dude, hey!
323
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,676
Everyone shows up to watch.
324
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,094
It's about Jesus.
325
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,476
Everything here is.
326
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,644
After that comment,
327
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,979
I figured she didn't care much
about the Christmas pageant.
328
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,272
But I was wrong.
329
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,107
And at summer camp,
they have a super fast boat.
330
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,026
It's way faster than a car.
331
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,527
I've only ever been on a canoe.
332
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,279
And then there's this raft we dive off of.
333
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,781
I can do the swan dive.
334
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,200
- Sounds fun.
- And then you get eaten by a bear.
335
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,039
So Cooties, Wallflower,
you ready for this?
336
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,249
I'm gonna be in your pageant this year.
337
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,628
- You're what?
- Cooties heard me.
338
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,046
I'm gonna be in your Bible play.
339
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,633
What?
You can't be in the pageant.
340
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,802
I'm gonna be baby Jesus's mom.
341
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,971
Ha! You're too dirty
to play Mary, Imogene Herdman.
342
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:42,431
Everyone knows.
343
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,599
Alice!
344
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,935
Who's Mary?
345
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,647
Baby Jesus's mom,
which everyone knows except you.
346
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,526
And I'm always Mary in the pageant
and there's nothing you can do about it.
347
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:58,155
Sweetie, you're gonna tell 'em
you don't wanna do it.
348
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,366
You want me to be Mary.
349
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,909
And why would I do that?
350
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:05,746
'Cause if you don't, then next spring,
when the pussy willows come out,
351
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:10,042
I'm gonna stick a pussy willow
so far down your pretty little ear,
352
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,585
they won't be able to get it out.
353
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,923
It'll sprout there, and grow and grow,
354
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,550
and you'll spend the rest of your life
355
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,886
with a pussy willow bush
growing right out of your head.
356
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,390
Believe it or not, she'd done it before.
357
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,642
- Get off me!
- Okay, hold on one minute, just one sec.
358
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,894
One sec.
359
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,314
What?
360
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,491
What are you lookin' at?
361
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,578
Why would you even want
to be in the pageant?
362
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,787
None of your business.
363
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,049
While the little kids were all tired,
364
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,801
and the big kids were all hungry,
365
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,262
and the mothers all wanted
to go home and cook dinner
366
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,265
and the fathers all wanted to go home
and watch the game on TV,
367
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:10,352
the Herdmans sat quietly,
waiting for my mom to begin.
368
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:14,106
And I was praying for a miracle
that Imogene would stay quiet
369
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:17,318
and the Herdmans wouldn't burn
anything down and ruin my mom's rehearsal
370
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,487
and embarrass us in front of everyone.
371
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,698
Okay, that's three miracles.
372
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:26,994
Well, hello, everyone.
373
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,790
This won't take very long.
374
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:33,417
All right, uh, just a moment.
375
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:38,756
This is from a lot of calls this week.
Okay.
376
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:43,010
First, as Mrs. Armstrong always says,
377
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:46,555
"There are no small parts,
only small actors."
378
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,769
What does that mean?
379
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:53,854
I honestly don't know.
380
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,816
Okay, we don't have many rehearsals,
381
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,985
so you must all try to be present
at every one.
382
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,739
- What if we get sick?
- You won't get sick.
383
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:09,411
Now, you little children over here,
you will be angels.
384
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:12,122
"The older boys
and girls will be shepherds,
385
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,125
and guests at the inn
and members of the choir.
386
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,670
And we need Mary, and Joseph,
387
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,589
the three wise men
and the angel of the Lord.
388
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:24,134
They aren't hard parts
but they're important parts."
389
00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:29,014
Oh. "So those kids must
absolutely come to every rehearsal."
390
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,641
What if they get sick?
391
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:33,018
- They won't get sick either.
- But what if they do?
392
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,520
Nobody is getting sick, David.
393
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,439
"We always start with Mary.
394
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:43,487
We must choose Mary carefully
because Mary is the mother of Jesus.
395
00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:47,491
She should be a sweet,
happy little girl, who"...
396
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,787
Okay, enough of this.
397
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:57,001
I know many of you would like to play Mary
in our pageant, but we only need one.
398
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,295
Imogene, do you have a question?
399
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:03,799
No. I wanna be Mary.
And Ralph wants to be Joe.
400
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:07,678
It was like a detective movie
where a nice little old lady
401
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,180
shoves a gun in the bank window
and says, "Give me all your money, "
402
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,432
and you can't believe it.
403
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,767
My mother couldn't believe it.
404
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:15,936
We have to give everyone a chance.
405
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:19,815
Does anyone else wanna volunteer
for Joseph?
406
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:24,486
Elmer? You usually like playing Joseph.
407
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,614
Elmer hated playing Joseph.
408
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,073
But his dad was the minister,
409
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,909
so he made him
when nobody else volunteered.
410
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,996
Nobody else ever volunteered.
411
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,834
Well, that's very surprising.
Anybody else?
412
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:42,338
All right.
413
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,591
Ralph will be our Joseph.
414
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,344
Would anyone else
like to volunteer for Mary?
415
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,680
Alice, don't you
want to volunteer this year?
416
00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,184
N-No.
417
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,647
Anybody?
418
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:02,691
Mom was in a terrible spot. The worst.
419
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:06,236
The parents, the pageant,
the church, the whole town,
420
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,281
they'd blame Mom if the pageant imploded.
421
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:11,533
Would I step up to help?
422
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:18,123
What I would do next would determine
the fate of the pageant to this very day.
423
00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:27,383
Okay.
424
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:31,136
Imogene will be our Mary.
425
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,268
We have wise men next.
426
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,229
Leroy, Claude and Ollie wanna play them.
427
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,190
Okay, now we have to give
everyone a chance, Imogene.
428
00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:47,736
Everyone's had their chance.
They've had all kinds of chances.
429
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,406
- And the angel of the Lord?
- Gladys.
430
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,241
Me!
431
00:24:53,075 --> 00:24:56,453
Robby! Robby!
432
00:24:57,663 --> 00:25:00,708
Michelle, you raise that hand.
433
00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:04,962
Suppose that's that, then.
434
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:08,257
Uh, we need the shepherds.
435
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,675
Charlie, you're in.
436
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,427
David and Robby?
437
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,763
I just remembered,
we're going to Philadelphia.
438
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,391
- We are not!
- I'll probably be sick.
439
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,601
I'll put you both down for probably.
440
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,854
Mom, Gladys Herdman hits too hard.
441
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:24,815
My goodness,
Gladys isn't going to hit anyone.
442
00:25:24,898 --> 00:25:26,233
What an idea!
443
00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:29,653
The angel of the Lord visits
the shepherds in the field
444
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:31,697
and tells them that Jesus is born.
445
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:33,073
And hits them.
446
00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:35,034
I don't wanna hear another word about it.
447
00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:38,996
No shepherds will quit or get sick.
Or go to Philadelphia.
448
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,831
Ow!
449
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:44,251
I felt terrible for my mom.
450
00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:45,878
And some of it was my fault.
451
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:49,048
Here she was, five minutes
into covering for Mrs. Armstrong
452
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,800
and the Herdmans had hijacked
the entire pageant.
453
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:54,511
I'd been afraid
it'd be the same old thing,
454
00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:57,181
and now I'd do anything
for it to be boring again.
455
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:04,229
Word about what happened spread faster
than a Herdman-set grass fire.
456
00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:06,857
Kids told their parents,
parents called their neighbors
457
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,567
and neighbors called their relatives.
458
00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:20,287
How could you
let this happen? How could...
459
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:22,456
How could...
460
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:24,583
How could...
461
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,586
Does anyone have a paper bag?
462
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:30,172
It's not fair that a whole family
who doesn't even go to our church
463
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,049
just barged in and took over the pageant.
464
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,634
Injustice was done.
465
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,595
- We all agree it was a travesty.
- Mm-hmm.
466
00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:40,099
Because the Herdmans volunteered
for the pageant?
467
00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:42,309
She is referring to the grievous assault
468
00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,311
on the impartial
casting process yesterday.
469
00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:46,355
With all due respect,
470
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:50,943
nothing about the process
has ever been impartial, Mrs. Armstrong.
471
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:53,612
And as for a grievous assault,
472
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:57,241
I literally pleaded
with your children to participate.
473
00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:59,451
We were paralyzed with shock.
474
00:26:59,535 --> 00:27:01,036
But you spoke.
475
00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:03,205
It came in waves.
476
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,459
I'm sorry, but...
477
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:10,212
...we're using really big words
to talk about a pageant
478
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:14,716
where the kids just have to stand
in the same spot they stand in every year.
479
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,176
We take it seriously.
480
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,848
So do I, Mrs. Slocum,
that's why I volunteered.
481
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:24,518
Judging by who you cast
as Mary, you apparently don't.
482
00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:30,232
Rebecca...
...is it possible that as Alice's mom,
483
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,568
you have a personal interest
in who plays Mary?
484
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:34,820
The pageant is sacred.
485
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:38,949
Wait. The pageant is sacred?
486
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:41,076
- Obviously.
- It's about community.
487
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,911
- And fundraising.
- And Mother Mary.
488
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,371
And tradition.
489
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:45,455
What do you all suggest,
490
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:48,208
that I kick the Herdmans
out of the Christmas pageant
491
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,877
and keep them out of the church?
492
00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:52,045
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
493
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:10,272
I mean, I can't just kick 'em out.
494
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:14,067
But they're right.
It might be a disaster with the Herdmans.
495
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,570
Now, that's a pageant
I'd actually like to see.
496
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,906
Mother Mary puffin' on a cigar,
497
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:21,700
the shepherds clobbering each other
with their hooks.
498
00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:23,493
Five bucks say they burn down the manger.
499
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:27,331
Why'd you have to tell 'em
they'd get food at church, dummy?
500
00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:30,417
'Cause I didn't think they'd actually
walk into a church building!
501
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,002
I'm surprised
they didn't burst into flames.
502
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:34,504
Sorry I didn't volunteer.
503
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:37,507
Did I ruin the pageant?
504
00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:41,386
Oh, my goodness, no! Honey...
505
00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:46,725
Beth, I will tell you
what I told those condescending,
506
00:28:46,808 --> 00:28:48,727
hyper-controlling busybodies from church,
507
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:51,980
that while Helen Armstrong might be
surprised the sun rises every morning
508
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:53,607
even though she's not there
to supervise it,
509
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,610
she is not the only woman in the world
who can run a Christmas pageant.
510
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,988
And if they don't think I can do it,
they are in for a big lesson.
511
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,365
You said all that?
512
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,076
Well, not all of it.
513
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,495
- Any of it?
- Never mind.
514
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:09,373
It was the night of the first rehearsal.
515
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:12,292
The big night for Mom
to prove she could make this work.
516
00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:14,253
I was ready to help in any way I could.
517
00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:17,047
But first, as usual,
the kids were sent outside
518
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:19,174
while the parents had
prayer time together.
519
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,134
I think it was less about prayer
520
00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:24,388
than that they wanted us all to get
our energy out so we'd behave later.
521
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:25,555
But then...
522
00:29:39,236 --> 00:29:40,362
Now.
523
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:48,245
- Run, Charlie!
- Go, go!
524
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,794
Help, help, help!
525
00:29:58,005 --> 00:29:59,298
Stop.
526
00:30:00,841 --> 00:30:03,802
Hey, kids.
They'll be ready for you in a minute.
527
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:04,886
Have a good rehearsal.
528
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,826
The first rehearsal was usually
529
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:30,787
about as much fun
as a three-hour ride on the school bus.
530
00:30:30,871 --> 00:30:33,040
And just as noisy and crowded.
531
00:30:33,123 --> 00:30:36,084
But after what we'd just faced,
no one made a sound
532
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:40,714
and we just waited quietly to see what
awful thing the Herdmans might do next.
533
00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,716
This is why they shouldn't have shown up.
534
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,260
Didn't Reverend Hopkins talk
about when Jesus said,
535
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,304
"Suffer the little children,
come unto me"?
536
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,431
Yeah, well, Jesus
wouldn't have suffered Herdmans.
537
00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:52,017
- Okay.
- Mom?
538
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:54,519
Do you need help with anything?
539
00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:57,022
Today we're going to ignore
everything except blood.
540
00:30:57,564 --> 00:30:59,941
I'm gonna start soon.
Now, go sit down next to Imogene.
541
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:02,361
Mom!
542
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:06,031
Your quiet might rub off on her.
543
00:31:10,952 --> 00:31:13,372
Okay, quiet down, everyone.
544
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,626
Good, then.
545
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:20,087
Okay.
546
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:23,965
Welcome, everyone.
We're glad to see all of you.
547
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,967
That might've been the biggest lie
548
00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:27,511
ever said right out loud in the church.
549
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:28,428
First, the easy part.
550
00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:33,266
Uh, let's separate everyone into angels,
and shepherds and guests at the inn.
551
00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:34,768
Who were the shepherds?
552
00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,228
- Where'd they come from?
- What's an inn?
553
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:39,064
It's like a motel where people go
to spend the night.
554
00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:40,607
What people? Jesus?
555
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:43,360
Oh, honestly! Jesus wasn't even born yet!
556
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,278
Mary and Joseph went there.
557
00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:47,155
- Why?
- What happened first?
558
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:49,533
- Begin at the beginning.
- The very beginning?
559
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:51,660
That really scared everyone
560
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:54,246
because the beginning
would be the book of Genesis...
561
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:55,831
...where it says, "In the beginning."
562
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:58,667
And if we started there,
we'd be here for years.
563
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:01,420
Let's start at the beginning
of the Christmas story.
564
00:32:01,503 --> 00:32:05,757
We've all heard it a million times.
565
00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:08,343
I think it's a good idea
for all of us to hear it again.
566
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:11,346
It's a good reminder
of what Christmas is all about.
567
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,891
"And Joseph also went up from Galilee,
568
00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:17,853
out of the city of Nazareth into Judea"...
569
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:21,606
..."unto the city of David,
which is called Bethlehem,
570
00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:24,359
because he was of the house
and lineage of David,
571
00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:30,407
to be taxed with Mary, his espoused wife,
being great with child."
572
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:31,867
"Great with child"?
573
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:34,202
- Pregnant, stupid.
- Ralph, that's enough.
574
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,496
It's not very nice to say
that Mary was pregnant.
575
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:38,373
My mother wouldn't want
us talking about that.
576
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:41,501
It was true. Mrs. Wendelken
didn't like cats having kittens
577
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,627
or birds laying eggs,
578
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:46,089
and she didn't let Alice play
with anyone who had two rabbits.
579
00:32:46,173 --> 00:32:47,924
Will ya shut up?
580
00:32:48,008 --> 00:32:49,301
I wanna hear.
581
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:50,635
I couldn't believe it.
582
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:53,180
The Herdmans were famous
for never sitting still
583
00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:57,851
and never paying attention to anyone:
teachers, parents, police.
584
00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:02,230
Yet something about the Christmas story
had them hanging on every word.
585
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,357
Mary and Joseph had to go in the stable
586
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:08,236
because there was no room
for them at the inn.
587
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,905
My God!
588
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:11,156
Not even for Jesus?
589
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,867
We don't use God's name that way, Imogene.
590
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:17,454
What's a manger?
Is that like a bed for the baby?
591
00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:21,917
- Why would they have a bed in a barn?
- Well, that's the point, actually, Leroy.
592
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,378
They didn't have a bed in a barn.
They had to use whatever was there.
593
00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:29,216
What would you do if you had a new baby
and no bed to put the baby in?
594
00:33:29,299 --> 00:33:30,842
We put Gladys in a bureau drawer.
595
00:33:32,761 --> 00:33:34,262
There you go.
596
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:37,974
Mary put the baby Jesus
in a stone feeding trough for animals.
597
00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,518
What were the wadded up clothes?
598
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:42,729
You said she wrapped him
in wadded-up clothes.
599
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:44,147
Swaddling clothes.
600
00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:48,318
They used to wrap their babies tightly
in a big piece of fabric
601
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:49,569
so they couldn't move around.
602
00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:52,113
They tied him up and put him in a box?
603
00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:53,907
Where was Child Welfare?
604
00:33:57,327 --> 00:33:59,079
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord
605
00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:03,041
came upon them and the glory
of the Lord shone round about them."
606
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,125
Shazam!
607
00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:06,294
Shazam?
608
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:11,258
Out of the black night
with horrible vengeance, the Mighty Marvo!
609
00:34:11,341 --> 00:34:13,802
That's the most she's ever spoke.
610
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:16,221
It's a comic book.
611
00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,305
Oh.
612
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:20,559
Well, then, yes.
613
00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:24,854
I think the angel of the Lord
is kind of like a comic book hero.
614
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:27,941
"Now"...
615
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:30,860
..."when Jesus was born
in Bethlehem of Judea,
616
00:34:30,944 --> 00:34:34,573
in the days of Herod the King, behold,
617
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:38,159
there came wise men
from the east to Jerusalem."
618
00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:40,870
That's you, Leroy, Claude, Ollie.
619
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:44,082
- Pay attention.
- Wise how? They teachers or somethin'?
620
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:47,294
- No, dumbbell, they're like presidents.
- Let's not hit.
621
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:51,673
- But that's close. They were kings.
- Well, it's about time.
622
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:55,343
Maybe someone'll finally tell
that innkeeper where to get off
623
00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:57,846
and get the baby out of the barn.
624
00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:01,975
"And when they were come into the house,
625
00:35:02,058 --> 00:35:05,520
they saw the young child
with Mary, his mother,
626
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,772
and fell down and worshipped him.
627
00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:12,319
And when they had opened their treasures,
they presented unto him gifts,
628
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:14,904
gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
629
00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:16,948
Hold on. What's that stuff?
630
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:18,658
Oils and perfume.
631
00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:22,787
Oil? What sort of cheap king
hands out oil?
632
00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:25,665
You'd get better presents
at the firemen's shelter.
633
00:35:25,749 --> 00:35:28,585
It was King Herod, actually.
634
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:31,630
He sent the wise men
to find the baby Jesus.
635
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:34,257
Was it him that sent the crummy presents?
636
00:35:34,341 --> 00:35:35,967
It was worse than that, actually.
637
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:38,678
Herod planned on putting
the baby Jesus to death.
638
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,388
- My God!
- Imogene.
639
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,806
Who's playing this Herod, anyway?
640
00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:45,060
- We don't show Herod in our pageant.
- Ah, what?
641
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:46,436
No. Come on!
642
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,604
No!
643
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,689
You gotta show him
getting beat up in the end.
644
00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:50,899
Charlie can be Herod.
645
00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:52,651
- I don't wanna be Herod.
- No!
646
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:54,194
Somebody oughta get the innkeeper too.
647
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:55,612
Gladys, use your angel powers.
648
00:35:55,695 --> 00:35:57,447
No, honey, I don't think we...
649
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:03,036
All right, that's enough.
650
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,871
That's enough! Hey!
651
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:06,956
That's enough! Oh!
652
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,292
Okay. Okay. Oh--
653
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:14,089
Please, I need you all to settle down.
654
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:16,257
- Baby Jesus can kill Herod.
- Shazam!
655
00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:28,812
Make sure he doesn't hit him.
656
00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:40,907
- Nice painting, huh?
- I guess.
657
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:46,162
That Mary, she was a tough one.
658
00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,206
Tough?
659
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,625
Yeah. She went through quite a lot
660
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:53,461
and overcame big challenges
to bring a child into the world.
661
00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:57,632
Hmm. Doesn't look tough.
662
00:36:58,299 --> 00:37:00,009
Just looks sweet and pretty.
663
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:03,555
Yeah. In that painting, I guess, yeah.
664
00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:08,810
What do they have the name of our town
above the painting for?
665
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,272
- Do you know what Emmanuel means?
- No.
666
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,775
It means "God with us."
667
00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:18,528
That's what baby Jesus was.
668
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:20,864
And you're...
669
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:26,411
the character you volunteered
to play helped make that happen.
670
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,080
Pretty neat.
671
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:32,292
I guess.
672
00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:39,924
Anyways, look, I ...
673
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:46,347
You all asked a lot
of good questions tonight.
674
00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:50,935
And it made me wonder...
675
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,273
if maybe you might enjoy
watching the Christmas pageant
676
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,357
more than being in it.
677
00:37:57,525 --> 00:38:03,156
You know, you could really absorb it all,
see all the details. You know what I mean?
678
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:08,578
No. I'm gonna do this.
679
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:14,459
I think my character
should've set fire to that inn.
680
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:18,213
Yeah. Maybe in the play, you can
chase the innkeeper to the next country.
681
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:22,801
Imogene...
682
00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:26,930
... I really need them to behave.
If you could help me with that,
683
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:29,557
I can make sure you have all the
dessert you want when the pageant is over.
684
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:32,560
- What do you think?
- Heard that before.
685
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:35,855
Imogene, let's go!
686
00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:38,066
Gotta go.
687
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:53,331
Oh.
688
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,209
- What happened to you?
- Herdmans.
689
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:59,671
- Ah.
- They tried to kill me again.
690
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,673
That's show business, pal.
691
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:10,431
I'm at a loss.
692
00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:13,309
I don't see any bruises. That's a victory.
693
00:39:13,393 --> 00:39:15,228
We didn't even rehearse.
694
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:16,813
She just told the Christmas story.
695
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:18,314
The Herdmans had never heard it.
696
00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:21,401
Just suppose you didn't know anything
about it, and somebody told you.
697
00:39:21,484 --> 00:39:23,903
I'd be more confused
about Santa Claus.
698
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:26,990
What would you think?
699
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:29,826
Well, the whole thing's
a hospitality nightmare.
700
00:39:29,909 --> 00:39:31,995
Pretty pathetic
that a pregnant woman shows up
701
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:33,955
and the only room you can find
for her is in the stable.
702
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:35,832
That's exactly what the Herdmans said.
703
00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:38,209
I never thought
about it before. It is pathetic.
704
00:39:38,293 --> 00:39:42,630
We hear all about this warm stable
with animals and the sweet-smelling hay.
705
00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:45,091
Ugh. My cousins grew up on a farm.
706
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:47,385
Nothing sweet about that smell.
707
00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:52,724
I have to admit, deep down,
those kids might just have good instincts.
708
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:55,018
They wanted to burn Herod alive, Mom.
709
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:57,645
I said, "Deep down."
710
00:39:58,813 --> 00:40:01,566
They picked the right villain.
That's something, right?
711
00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:04,068
What did happen to Herod?
I don't even know.
712
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,031
Who would be calling at this...
713
00:40:09,282 --> 00:40:11,367
- Mrs. Armstrong.
- Mrs. Armstrong.
714
00:40:11,451 --> 00:40:13,453
It's the fifth time this hour.
715
00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:16,372
Wendelken told her
that you haven't axed the Herdmans yet.
716
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:18,249
She needs to know what's taking so long.
717
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:23,755
Sweetheart, the smell of this
just reminds me that you're... you're busy.
718
00:40:25,715 --> 00:40:26,716
God...
719
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:31,971
I just have a feeling this
is gonna be a real disaster.
720
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:35,808
You awake, kiddo?
721
00:40:43,566 --> 00:40:45,068
How you doin' with all this?
722
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:47,654
Are we sure Mom
can't replace the Herdmans?
723
00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:49,948
I think it's a little late for that.
724
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:53,493
And it's all my fault
because I didn't raise my stupid hand.
725
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:57,664
There was a man much wiser
than me that once said,
726
00:40:57,747 --> 00:41:02,335
"You can't add a single hour to your life
by being anxious about anything."
727
00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:05,505
And that includes putting
on a Christmas pageant.
728
00:41:05,588 --> 00:41:06,923
He hadn't met the Herdmans.
729
00:41:08,257 --> 00:41:09,467
Actually...
730
00:41:10,385 --> 00:41:12,095
he knows them better than anyone.
731
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:16,724
Anyway, would you come with me
in the morning to do something?
732
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:18,101
What kinda something?
733
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,396
Sort of, uh, an errand.
734
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,148
I think it'd be good for you to go.
And the whole family.
735
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,942
Somethin' I want you to see.
736
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:28,486
Okay.
737
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,947
Get some sleep.
738
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,157
- Good morning.
- Merry Christmas.
739
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,743
Evan. You got it?
740
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:37,245
Yeah, yeah.
741
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:43,918
- Thanks, Bob.
- Thank you. Merry Christmas.
742
00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:49,465
- What's all this for?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
743
00:41:57,724 --> 00:41:59,434
I never knew you were a Secret Santa.
744
00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:00,852
Well, it's not exactly a secret.
745
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,230
The Church Charitable Works Committee
has been doing this for decades.
746
00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:07,025
It's a good way to get out of
our comfort zone and step up.
747
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:11,529
Plus, I thought you all would be
especially interested in one of my stops.
748
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,874
I think some of your classmates live here.
749
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:25,960
Really? This is one of your stops?
750
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,254
You never told me
you visited the Herdmans.
751
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:30,423
Didn't seem of note until this year.
752
00:42:31,299 --> 00:42:33,551
- Beth, you wanna come?
- That would not be a good idea.
753
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:35,303
Okay.
754
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:38,681
But we all need to remember
Christmas comes for everyone.
755
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,370
- It's the ham man!
- I want some!
756
00:43:01,454 --> 00:43:03,498
- It's ham day!
- Give me some ham!
757
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:04,624
- Give it!
- Ham day!
758
00:43:04,707 --> 00:43:06,125
Hey! Hey! Hey!
759
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:08,544
That ham's for Christmas eatin'
760
00:43:08,628 --> 00:43:13,132
and if any of you touch it before then,
I will invent a torture just for you!
761
00:43:15,885 --> 00:43:18,262
- Is your mom home?
- Not when the sun's up.
762
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:21,933
- I'm sorry about that.
- It's fine.
763
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:24,185
- I know how to cook.
- I'm sure you do.
764
00:43:27,355 --> 00:43:29,857
Well, uh,
please let her know I stopped by.
765
00:43:30,566 --> 00:43:32,652
I got the biggest ham for you guys.
766
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:39,617
Merry Christmas.
767
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,669
Give it to me! I want the first bite!
768
00:43:49,752 --> 00:43:51,754
Back off, Imogene!
769
00:43:51,838 --> 00:43:52,922
Get off me, Ralph!
770
00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:55,550
Back up! Back up!
771
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:02,431
No mom or dad home.
772
00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:05,560
Reverend Hopkins says they don't
know where their mom is half the time.
773
00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:07,562
I heard, when Gladys turned two,
774
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:10,773
Mr. Herdman climbed on a railroad train
and never came back.
775
00:44:11,524 --> 00:44:13,985
- Nobody could blame him.
- All right, Beth, that's enough.
776
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,031
I can't believe I listened to those women.
777
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:21,409
What's on your mind?
778
00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:27,999
What's on my mind
is that Mrs. Armstrong and Mrs. Wendelken
779
00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,459
and everyone else can stuff it.
780
00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:32,962
Whoa.
781
00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:36,924
After all, they raised their hands,
and no one else did.
782
00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,260
And that's that.
783
00:45:05,912 --> 00:45:07,246
Ow. What?
784
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:08,873
How do you get a book out of the library?
785
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,834
Um... Well, you have to have a card.
786
00:45:11,918 --> 00:45:13,544
- Do you have one?
- Yeah.
787
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:14,587
Give it to me.
788
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:18,299
It doesn't really work like that.
789
00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:20,509
I'll be right with you.
790
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,929
Oh, my.
791
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:26,265
I don't keep any money here,
if that's what you're after.
792
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:28,851
This is the library, right?
Where the books are?
793
00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:31,145
We need the one with Jesus in it.
794
00:45:31,812 --> 00:45:33,272
And his mom.
795
00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:35,733
- And the wise men.
- And stupid Herod.
796
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:38,277
It's the one they use in church.
797
00:45:38,361 --> 00:45:39,487
You mean the Bible?
798
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:40,821
Hi, Mrs. Graebner.
799
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,158
Imogene and her brothers
would like to get library cards.
800
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,243
Me too!
801
00:45:46,035 --> 00:45:47,078
And her sister.
802
00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:49,205
Beth! Oh, phew!
803
00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:51,290
- I thought that...
- Calm down, lady.
804
00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:52,792
We just need to look some stuff up.
805
00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:57,171
Imogene and Ralph are playing
Mary and Joseph in the pageant.
806
00:45:57,255 --> 00:45:58,631
Oh, I'm aware.
807
00:45:58,714 --> 00:46:02,260
I bought tickets
before I found out about it.
808
00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:04,679
They haven't offered any refunds.
809
00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:08,432
And now, you want library cards?
810
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:10,559
You?
811
00:46:10,643 --> 00:46:12,603
To check out Bibles?
812
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:17,650
Now I've seen everything.
Herdmans in the library.
813
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,697
There's the Christmas story.
814
00:46:24,156 --> 00:46:26,325
Where's the pictures?
815
00:46:27,326 --> 00:46:28,411
Oy.
816
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:40,006
Some of these words are weird
but this stuff is gold.
817
00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:43,926
- Ralph, go find a Herod book.
- How?
818
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:45,219
I'll show you the card catalog.
819
00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:47,972
Don't buy anything!
820
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,099
It's not that kind of catalog.
821
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:56,188
Beth's mom was right.
This Mary is kind of tough.
822
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:03,070
The Herdmans searched
through book after book,
823
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,448
looking up every question
that came to mind.
824
00:47:05,531 --> 00:47:08,200
My fingers were sliced up
like a turkey sandwich
825
00:47:08,284 --> 00:47:10,703
from all the times I went back
to the card catalog.
826
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:19,628
♪ Joyful and triumphant ♪
827
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,674
- Pictures.
- Pictures in lots of books.
828
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:27,636
I'd had plenty of homework assignments
829
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,472
where I had to go to the library
830
00:47:29,555 --> 00:47:32,475
but I don't think I was ever
as interested in anything
831
00:47:32,558 --> 00:47:35,269
as Imogene was in the Christmas story.
832
00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:36,312
Do you hear me?
833
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:39,565
The shepherds were
just minding their business, and boom!
834
00:47:41,025 --> 00:47:45,696
Yeah, I get it. We're wise men, though.
We just walk up with a box of junk.
835
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,990
Why are you making us do all this?
836
00:47:52,078 --> 00:47:54,246
Ollie, what's that movie you like
with the whale?
837
00:47:54,330 --> 00:47:55,623
Land Ho!
838
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:59,418
You think that captain guy in Land Ho!
just made up how to build a raft?
839
00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:00,711
- No way.
- That's right.
840
00:48:00,795 --> 00:48:02,380
He had to read up.
841
00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:05,883
- I thought we were doing this for cake.
- It's about the cake too.
842
00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:09,136
But it's also, like,
we get to make a movie.
843
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:13,307
In the movies we watch,
the actress gets to...
844
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:18,687
All the actors and actresses
get to be someone else.
845
00:48:18,771 --> 00:48:21,857
They get to change who they are
and live a different life.
846
00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:24,610
They can get away
from their miserable lives
847
00:48:24,693 --> 00:48:26,487
and become someone new.
848
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:28,572
That's what we get to do.
849
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,159
Yeah.
850
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:34,620
So, I get to be a king?
851
00:48:35,287 --> 00:48:37,540
Yeah. On Christmas Eve, you do.
852
00:48:37,623 --> 00:48:41,043
- No way Gladys can be an angel.
- Yes, I can!
853
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,962
You can at least try.
854
00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:47,383
Great. And I just get to be
some poor guy married to you.
855
00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:52,805
He's someone important enough
that they wrote about him in books.
856
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:56,851
And I get to be a sweet, pretty...
857
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:03,274
Then we can get all the food they got.
858
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:06,318
Plus, now I got a book license!
859
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:09,864
You chokin' over there?
860
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,575
I should go home.
861
00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:14,160
Nobody asked you to stay.
862
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:18,831
Claude likes his license.
863
00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:23,419
That was about as close
to a thank you as I'd ever get.
864
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:29,800
Sorry I'm late.
865
00:49:30,551 --> 00:49:33,262
All right, let's get
into our groups. Angels, you are...
866
00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:35,764
Oh...
867
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,726
Okay, good. And everyone else...
868
00:49:39,810 --> 00:49:43,439
Well, thank you for being on time.
869
00:49:44,899 --> 00:49:46,025
Yes, Claude?
870
00:49:46,108 --> 00:49:48,652
- Can we hang Herod?
- No, Claude.
871
00:49:49,862 --> 00:49:52,114
No one's going to die in this pageant.
872
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:57,620
We have a lot of work to do tonight,
so let's get to it.
873
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:59,246
Excuse me.
874
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,584
Why are they still here?
875
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:06,045
Because they're in the pageant, Rebecca.
876
00:50:07,087 --> 00:50:09,256
- And that's how it's going to stay.
- Oh, really?
877
00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:13,469
And what would you like me to tell
Mrs. Armstrong, Mrs. Slocum
878
00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:14,553
and the other mothers?
879
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:18,599
You can tell them it's going to be
the best Christmas pageant ever.
880
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:21,560
- Hmm.
- I'm gonna make it work with the Herdmans.
881
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:24,605
Places, everyone.
882
00:50:26,899 --> 00:50:32,029
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
883
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:38,619
Isn't the angel of the Lord
supposed to say something?
884
00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:39,954
Hey!
885
00:50:41,956 --> 00:50:43,499
Yeah, they were still Herdmans
886
00:50:43,582 --> 00:50:47,002
and some people were not going
to forget that for a minute.
887
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:00,724
Go. Go, go, go.
888
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,061
Get away from the baby!
889
00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:06,730
Imogene, the wise men
are here to honor him,
890
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:08,816
not harm him, for heaven's sake.
891
00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:11,527
What if we didn't go home a different way?
892
00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:13,571
What if we tell the king
where the baby was?
893
00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:16,740
- Old Herod would murder him.
- He would not!
894
00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:18,951
I thought about it later, though,
895
00:51:19,034 --> 00:51:21,328
and I decided that if Herod, a king,
896
00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:24,415
set out to murder Jesus,
a carpenter's baby son,
897
00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:27,251
and he did know where he was,
he would do it.
898
00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:29,461
So, Leroy gave us something
to think about.
899
00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:31,171
- Stop!
- No Jesus. Ever.
900
00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:32,798
Okay. Let's just take it
down a notch, okay?
901
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:36,176
Stand up. Stand up. I can't hear you guys
when you're all talking at once.
902
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,053
Alice clearly didn't think anything
903
00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:40,055
from the Herdmans
was worth thinking about.
904
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:42,349
Is there a way to make her smile?
905
00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:43,684
No, she doesn't do that.
906
00:51:43,767 --> 00:51:45,811
But at least others seemed to be trying...
907
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,564
in unexpected ways.
908
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:50,816
Oh.
909
00:51:58,073 --> 00:51:59,908
Okay. Places, everyone!
910
00:52:02,661 --> 00:52:06,332
Who do I talk to about rewrites?
I heard about rewrites in the movies.
911
00:52:11,420 --> 00:52:12,963
Okay, God.
912
00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,300
Now it's getting even more scary.
913
00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:21,013
So please do something
to help Mom and save the pageant.
914
00:52:22,306 --> 00:52:23,307
That's all.
915
00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:28,145
Amen.
916
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,025
The last rehearsal was
also the night before the potluck supper.
917
00:52:33,108 --> 00:52:35,569
So the whole church
was full of kids, and parents
918
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:37,529
and the members of the Potluck Committee.
919
00:52:37,613 --> 00:52:41,158
Which meant Mrs. Slocum had
a chance to do a little spying
920
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:42,993
to find something to disapprove of.
921
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:48,916
Hello, Mrs. Slocum.
922
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,668
Hi!
923
00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:53,337
Sorry about all this.
924
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:56,340
It's just,
with so much to do this time of year,
925
00:52:56,423 --> 00:53:00,094
the Potluck Committee decided
to come in tonight to get the food ready.
926
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:01,428
I hope we won't bother you.
927
00:53:01,512 --> 00:53:03,722
You won't.
We won't even be near the kitchen.
928
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,057
You won't even know we're here.
929
00:53:05,140 --> 00:53:06,684
Mom was wrong.
930
00:53:06,767 --> 00:53:09,436
Everybody knew we were there
before the evening was over.
931
00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:14,316
Okay, everybody,
this will be a dress rehearsal.
932
00:53:14,983 --> 00:53:15,984
Who knows what that means?
933
00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:17,569
- Costumes.
- Dress-up.
934
00:53:17,653 --> 00:53:19,988
Yes, for some of you.
935
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:22,449
I don't have any kinda costume.
936
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:26,036
Just wear your dad's bathrobe.
That's what I always do.
937
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,621
My dad doesn't have a bathrobe.
938
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:29,331
Then what does he wear around the house?
939
00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:30,374
His underwear.
940
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:33,210
All right. That's okay.
941
00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:37,172
This year, because of the anniversary,
Ladies Aid has helped with nicer costumes.
942
00:53:57,234 --> 00:53:58,569
You can be sweet.
943
00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:03,073
Hello, Imogene.
944
00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:06,160
Aren't you supposed to be in costume?
945
00:54:06,702 --> 00:54:07,703
I will be.
946
00:54:08,412 --> 00:54:09,413
I'm playing Mary.
947
00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:12,166
Oh... I couldn't tell.
948
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:15,419
You don't look
like any Mary I've seen before.
949
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:21,091
Well, gotta go prepare the potluck dinner.
950
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:24,136
It's for 500 people.
951
00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:35,898
It makes my eyes glow in the light.
952
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:40,736
Now, the main point of a dress rehearsal
isn't costumes.
953
00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:44,364
It's about getting through the show
without stopping. Got it?
954
00:54:44,448 --> 00:54:45,449
- Got it.
- Got it.
955
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,826
- Okay.
- I'm gonna sit upstairs in the audience.
956
00:54:50,412 --> 00:54:51,622
Take it away!
957
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:52,706
Yay!
958
00:54:52,790 --> 00:54:53,916
Yes.
959
00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:58,629
Big smiles.
960
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:00,923
Hang on to the railing.
961
00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:03,050
That's good.
962
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:07,054
Oh. Good grief. Everyone, it's showtime!
963
00:55:08,180 --> 00:55:10,432
Imogene, what's wrong?
964
00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:12,059
- Where's your costume?
- Where's the baby?
965
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,562
There is no baby. We're using a doll.
966
00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:17,064
Yeah, I know.
967
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:19,608
'Cause you couldn't get
a real one 'cause of me.
968
00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:21,318
- No.
- It was true.
969
00:55:21,401 --> 00:55:24,279
We had lots of babies
offered in the beginning.
970
00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:27,783
All the way from Eugene Sloper,
who was a promising option,
971
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:34,540
up to Junior Cottle, who was almost four.
His father said he could scrunch up.
972
00:55:34,623 --> 00:55:36,875
Heard we need a baby. I can help.
973
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:38,919
Really? That's great. Who?
974
00:55:39,002 --> 00:55:42,381
They've always got two or three babies
in carriages at the supermarket.
975
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:43,549
I'll just take one.
976
00:55:43,632 --> 00:55:46,969
Imogene, I hope you're kidding.
977
00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:49,179
You know you can't just walk off
with someone's baby.
978
00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:51,723
I doubt Imogene did know that.
979
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,559
She walked off with everything else.
980
00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:57,938
But when all the parents
heard about the Herdmans...
981
00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,857
...they withdrew their babies.
982
00:56:07,531 --> 00:56:09,199
- We had hope.
- Hello?
983
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:11,535
Bernice Toole
was fostering a three-month-old.
984
00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:13,745
No, it doesn't matter that she's Chinese!
985
00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:16,874
- Thank you, Bernice!
- Yes!
986
00:56:16,957 --> 00:56:18,500
But then the baby got adopted
987
00:56:18,584 --> 00:56:21,336
and Bernice said it was too soon
to ask to borrow a kid back.
988
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:22,421
So, that was that.
989
00:56:22,504 --> 00:56:24,923
Where is it?
990
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:27,759
I think Beth brought it in from the car.
Let's go check with her.
991
00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:30,929
Imogene's brothers had hidden the doll
992
00:56:31,013 --> 00:56:33,724
because they didn't think
it looked like Jesus, whatever that meant.
993
00:56:33,807 --> 00:56:36,977
But after a fruitless search,
we had to start.
994
00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:42,316
♪ Away in a manger ♪
995
00:56:45,110 --> 00:56:46,278
Stop. Stop.
996
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:50,240
Back row... "Away in a manger" comes first.
997
00:56:51,033 --> 00:56:55,037
I've got the baby, finally.
No thanks to you jerks.
998
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:56,955
Don't touch him!
999
00:56:57,039 --> 00:56:58,206
It's baby Jesus.
1000
00:56:58,290 --> 00:57:00,542
Now, Imogene,
you're not supposed to say anything.
1001
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:04,296
Then, wise men,
you're supposed to quietly leave!
1002
00:57:04,379 --> 00:57:07,132
This is important, everyone.
Remember what I said?
1003
00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:10,344
Nobody says anything in our pageant
1004
00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:14,556
except for the angel of the Lord
and of course, the singing choir.
1005
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,894
Mary, Joseph and the others
create a lovely picture for us to look at
1006
00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:21,521
while we think about Christmas
and what it means.
1007
00:57:21,605 --> 00:57:22,940
What does it mean?
1008
00:57:23,023 --> 00:57:24,524
I'm starting to forget.
1009
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,526
Okay, let's take it from the to...
1010
00:57:27,569 --> 00:57:30,155
Imogene, you can't wear earrings
during the performance.
1011
00:57:30,238 --> 00:57:31,740
You know Mary didn't wear earrings.
1012
00:57:31,823 --> 00:57:34,117
- I have to wear these.
- Why is that?
1013
00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:36,745
I got my ears pierced
and I don't want 'em to grow together.
1014
00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:38,080
They're not gonna grow together
1015
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:39,998
- in an hour and a half.
- I'd better leave 'em in.
1016
00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:42,167
- The doctor said that?
- What doctor?
1017
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:44,962
- Who pierced your ears?
- Gladys.
1018
00:57:47,255 --> 00:57:48,256
All right.
1019
00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:51,927
We'll find a smaller pair for the pageant.
1020
00:57:52,010 --> 00:57:53,553
Let's take it from the top. Okay, so...
1021
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,514
I think I ought to tell them
what I named him.
1022
00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:57,849
No. Remember, Mary doesn't name the baby.
1023
00:57:57,933 --> 00:57:59,643
I told you. I named him!
1024
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:02,604
- No. No! Joseph doesn't name him either.
- Ow!
1025
00:58:02,688 --> 00:58:06,024
God sends an angel to tell Mary
what his name should be.
1026
00:58:06,108 --> 00:58:07,484
I would've named him Bill.
1027
00:58:07,567 --> 00:58:08,944
Wait,
1028
00:58:09,027 --> 00:58:12,114
Gladys told Mary what to name her baby?
1029
00:58:12,197 --> 00:58:15,117
No, Gladys is the angel
that comes to the shepherds and says,
1030
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,660
"Unto you a child is born."
1031
00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:19,746
Unto me! Not them. Me.
1032
00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:21,665
I'm the one who had the baby.
1033
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:24,376
It just means that Jesus is for the world.
1034
00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:29,756
Unto all of us a child is born,
even the poor people, like...
1035
00:58:33,468 --> 00:58:35,846
you know, the shepherds you're playing.
1036
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,931
Why didn't they let Mary
name her own baby?
1037
00:58:38,473 --> 00:58:42,102
What'd the angel do,
just walk up and say, "Name him Jesus"?
1038
00:58:43,478 --> 00:58:45,272
- Yes.
- That's not right.
1039
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:50,485
The angel says, "His name shall be called
Wonderful, Counselor,
1040
00:58:50,569 --> 00:58:52,946
Mighty God, Everlasting Father,
1041
00:58:53,030 --> 00:58:55,365
- The Prince of Peace."
- My God!
1042
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:58,326
He'd never get out of the first grade
if he had to write all that.
1043
00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:04,166
I'm so sorry.
1044
00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:07,169
I was passing by
and thought I'd take a peek.
1045
00:59:08,211 --> 00:59:10,630
I'd better check on that applesauce cake.
1046
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:17,763
Imogene, I told you
not to take the Lord's name in vain.
1047
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:20,265
How can you be Mary
if you're offending everyone?
1048
00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:24,144
I think we need to take a break.
1049
00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:27,606
Let's meet back here in five minutes
and we'll start over.
1050
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:32,486
I told you it would be a disaster.
1051
00:59:36,948 --> 00:59:40,327
I just want you to know I'm happy to take
over the part of Mary at anytime.
1052
00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:43,205
That's good to know, Alice.
1053
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,250
Imogene, can I--
1054
00:59:47,334 --> 00:59:50,337
I'm going to the john, and I'm changing
out of this silly costume.
1055
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,973
There she is. Need anything?
1056
01:00:02,057 --> 01:00:04,768
It's kind of... all wrong.
1057
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,522
Like, everything's falling apart.
1058
01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:11,441
I'm not sure it was really
together in the first place.
1059
01:00:11,525 --> 01:00:13,443
Can't we just put Alice in as Mary?
1060
01:00:14,069 --> 01:00:17,697
We can't let the Herdmans ruin this
for the church or embarrass you.
1061
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:22,327
I think Imogene's head
is doing a number on her.
1062
01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:23,829
We just need to get
through this rehearsal.
1063
01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:27,124
- We can do this.
- Fire!
1064
01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,459
What now?
1065
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,130
Why? Why?
1066
01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:35,423
Thick smoke coming from the bathroom!
1067
01:00:37,175 --> 01:00:39,678
Okay, okay, okay.
Everyone, grab each other's hands.
1068
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:43,140
Grab your neighbor's hands and...
All right, Beth, lead the chain out.
1069
01:00:43,223 --> 01:00:44,975
Everyone, grab your coats.
1070
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,227
Alice? Alice?
1071
01:00:47,310 --> 01:00:48,687
Beth, honey.
1072
01:00:48,770 --> 01:00:50,647
Everyone, come on. Come on.
1073
01:00:50,730 --> 01:00:51,857
Are you okay, dear?
1074
01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:55,360
I smelled smoke when I walked in.
1075
01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:58,155
- You smelled smoke in the bathroom?
- Mm-hmm.
1076
01:00:58,238 --> 01:00:59,739
Go with your dad.
1077
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:04,661
- Do we know what happened?
- Herdmans happened.
1078
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:06,204
Come on. Come on, angels.
1079
01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:08,081
- Imogene, are you okay?
- Yep.
1080
01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:11,960
Step aside. It's another Herdman fire.
1081
01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:14,921
- I'm scared.
- Oh, I know, dear. I know, I know.
1082
01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:18,842
- Herdmans? In church?
- Yep. All of them.
1083
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,344
Lord have mercy on us all.
1084
01:01:21,428 --> 01:01:23,889
What a train wreck. Nothing but trouble.
1085
01:01:34,274 --> 01:01:36,693
Beth, I want you to go
and find the Herdmans, okay?
1086
01:01:36,776 --> 01:01:38,278
- Okay. All right.
- Okay, go grab 'em.
1087
01:01:38,361 --> 01:01:42,407
Imogene? Imogene?
1088
01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:53,210
And you saw Imogene Herdman
in the bathroom?
1089
01:01:53,293 --> 01:01:54,586
Mm-hmm. She was there.
1090
01:01:54,669 --> 01:01:57,380
And it's well known those kids smoke.
So that's what happened.
1091
01:01:57,464 --> 01:02:00,383
Mom, I can't find the Herdmans.
1092
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,177
Well, they were just here, weren't they?
1093
01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:04,596
I looked everywhere. They're gone.
1094
01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:07,057
And then Dianna sees
Imogene standing there.
1095
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,017
The place is filled with smoke.
1096
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:13,063
Hello? She smokes. She started the fire.
1097
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:17,567
- This needs to be the last straw.
- Let's not jump to conclusions, Rebecca.
1098
01:02:17,651 --> 01:02:19,569
Wouldn't that be refreshing?
1099
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:24,950
Her Mary did this!
And a million other things, Reverend.
1100
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,826
Would you like to hear?
1101
01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:29,996
- What happens now, Mom?
- I honestly don't know.
1102
01:02:30,914 --> 01:02:32,499
Now will they call it off?
1103
01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:35,126
They might try.
1104
01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:39,089
Grace said the angel
of the Lord is like a comic book hero.
1105
01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:40,840
Is this what I think it is?
A Herdman thing?
1106
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:43,051
I heard they talk
about underwear the whole time.
1107
01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:47,597
Excuse me. The Herdman children don't talk
about underwear during rehearsals.
1108
01:02:47,681 --> 01:02:49,808
- That was another boy.
- Alice says they talked
1109
01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:51,977
about Jesus being murdered.
1110
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:55,563
- That is in the Bible.
- Well, they really shouldn't be here.
1111
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:57,065
- No.
- I agree.
1112
01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:59,442
When there's smoke, there's fire.
As in, literally.
1113
01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:02,153
Okay, okay, everyone. Please.
1114
01:03:04,906 --> 01:03:08,118
You're the one
who's been doing all the work, not them.
1115
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:11,496
If you can tell me
this will be fine, I trust you.
1116
01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:15,375
I'm sorry, I can't tell you that.
1117
01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:19,629
- Reverend Hopkins, we found the source.
- Yes, sir?
1118
01:03:21,214 --> 01:03:23,675
My applesauce cake!
1119
01:03:23,758 --> 01:03:28,221
But I saw the smoke coming
from the bathroom. That's why I called.
1120
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,931
There was no fire in the bathroom.
1121
01:03:30,015 --> 01:03:32,434
But while everyone was out here,
the cake burned up.
1122
01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:36,646
Thank you,
gentlemen. Go home, everyone.
1123
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:40,692
We're done here. Okay?
That is a wrap on dress rehearsal.
1124
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:46,114
Did I say that right? "It's a wrap"?
1125
01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:49,492
Yeah, you said it right.
1126
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:53,621
No one even says sorry?
1127
01:03:56,124 --> 01:03:57,125
Let's go home.
1128
01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:10,889
Hmm.
1129
01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:13,183
Hi, sweetheart.
1130
01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:15,435
Hey.
1131
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,278
I think you're doing a great job, Mom.
1132
01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:28,948
Hmm. Thanks, sweetheart.
1133
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:32,786
Although I don't think
anyone else agrees with you.
1134
01:04:37,582 --> 01:04:39,125
Probably not.
1135
01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:44,839
I just thought I could do it somehow.
1136
01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:49,552
And that it could be the best one ever,
even with the Herdmans.
1137
01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:53,431
Is it still too late to replace them?
1138
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:56,184
I don't think that'd be right, honey.
1139
01:04:57,769 --> 01:05:02,065
I also don't think it's right the way
those women talk about the Herdmans.
1140
01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:06,236
Don't forget.
1141
01:05:09,948 --> 01:05:11,991
The whole point of the story...
1142
01:05:13,952 --> 01:05:18,123
is that Jesus was born for the Herdmans
as much as he was for us.
1143
01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:23,711
We'd be missing the point of all of it
if I turned them away.
1144
01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:26,005
But what if they ruin it for you?
1145
01:05:28,425 --> 01:05:29,676
They probably will.
1146
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:34,597
But it's not about me.
1147
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:44,983
You're doing a great job, Mom.
1148
01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:51,781
Let's see what happens
tomorrow night first.
1149
01:05:51,781 --> 01:06:21,781
Subtitle | www.movieddl.me
1150
01:06:28,943 --> 01:06:30,195
What is it, hon?
1151
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:43,750
Mom?
1152
01:06:44,459 --> 01:06:46,836
I prayed about it, and I agree with you.
1153
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:49,672
You have to stick with the Herdmans.
1154
01:06:51,674 --> 01:06:52,675
Thanks, honey.
1155
01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:56,888
But I can't get a call through
to the Herdman house.
1156
01:06:56,971 --> 01:06:58,556
Is it disconnected?
1157
01:06:59,307 --> 01:07:01,309
I don't think so.
1158
01:07:01,392 --> 01:07:04,187
I hope they didn't hear
what people were saying about them.
1159
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:07,106
Wait. Did Imogene quit?
1160
01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:10,026
- I don't know.
- How could she quit?
1161
01:07:10,818 --> 01:07:13,446
- She can't do that to you!
- It'll be all right, Beth.
1162
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:16,366
Alice knows how to play Mary.
It'll be fine.
1163
01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:20,537
Or, well, you know,
it'll be what it's always been.
1164
01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:23,122
It can't be what it's always been!
1165
01:07:24,749 --> 01:07:26,125
Beth, where are you going?
1166
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:28,586
Beth?
1167
01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:30,797
Explain this one to me.
1168
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,592
Before, the only way for the pageant
to work was without the Herdmans.
1169
01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:36,803
Now, the only way for it
to work was with them.
1170
01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:40,223
Maybe my mom didn't lead
committees or run a business
1171
01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:42,433
or wear a power dress while shopping
1172
01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:45,645
but she did the right thing
when no one else would.
1173
01:07:45,728 --> 01:07:47,772
So now, I had to.
1174
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:52,026
And that meant facing
Imogene Herdman alone.
1175
01:08:15,925 --> 01:08:17,427
Hi, Gladys.
1176
01:08:19,554 --> 01:08:21,389
I need to talk to Imogene.
1177
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:28,771
Okay, then.
1178
01:08:32,483 --> 01:08:33,651
What do you want?
1179
01:08:33,735 --> 01:08:35,111
After all that riding,
1180
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:36,946
you'd think I'd have
figured out what to say.
1181
01:08:37,030 --> 01:08:39,157
There were a million things
running through my head.
1182
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:42,035
But when she opened the door,
all I could get out was...
1183
01:08:42,118 --> 01:08:43,369
Hey.
1184
01:08:44,996 --> 01:08:45,997
Wait!
1185
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:49,250
Why'd you leave last night?
1186
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,127
It was cold out.
1187
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,629
They were trying
to figure out what happened.
1188
01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:56,007
Bunch of idiots standin' around,
scratchin' their butts.
1189
01:08:56,090 --> 01:08:58,092
They figured out we did it,
then started lookin'.
1190
01:08:58,176 --> 01:08:59,802
No, no, they burned a cake.
1191
01:08:59,886 --> 01:09:02,263
Doesn't matter what happened.
They knew it was me.
1192
01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:04,849
They think you smoke cigars.
They just assumed--
1193
01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:06,309
Of course they did.
1194
01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:09,854
Well, were you smoking a cigar?
1195
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:11,105
Yes.
1196
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:12,190
Oh.
1197
01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:16,611
Um... Well, you shouldn't smoke.
1198
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:19,364
- Got it. Bye.
- Wait!
1199
01:09:19,447 --> 01:09:22,283
- Are you gonna do the pageant?
- Nope.
1200
01:09:22,367 --> 01:09:24,118
- What?
- I'm not doin' it.
1201
01:09:24,202 --> 01:09:27,580
But I thought you wanted
to be someone else. Like in a movie.
1202
01:09:27,664 --> 01:09:29,999
Things changed. Bye.
1203
01:09:31,084 --> 01:09:35,296
- Do you mind?
- Yes. I mind. I mind a lot!
1204
01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:37,965
My mother stood up for you.
1205
01:09:38,049 --> 01:09:39,676
She fought for you.
1206
01:09:39,759 --> 01:09:42,720
The town practically hates her for it.
1207
01:09:42,804 --> 01:09:46,599
But she did it anyway
because she cares about you.
1208
01:09:46,683 --> 01:09:52,021
What do you care? You didn't want me
in the pageant anyway. Right?
1209
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:55,108
- Things changed.
- Really?
1210
01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:58,945
My mom needs you to be Mary.
1211
01:10:00,738 --> 01:10:01,864
Okay?
1212
01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:08,162
Yes, I told her not to let you do it.
But she gave you a chance.
1213
01:10:09,372 --> 01:10:13,167
People are coming from all over,
and it's too late to change all the parts
1214
01:10:13,251 --> 01:10:15,044
and hope it's just the same old,
boring pageant--
1215
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:16,629
I can't do it!
1216
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:20,800
- I'll never be the girl in the painting.
- But we can't have a painting on stage.
1217
01:10:20,883 --> 01:10:22,009
We need a real person.
1218
01:10:22,093 --> 01:10:25,972
- Alice will do it.
- Right. "Alice'll do it."
1219
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:30,935
Everyone loves Mary
because she's sweet and she's pretty
1220
01:10:31,018 --> 01:10:32,562
and I'll never be...
1221
01:10:36,607 --> 01:10:39,986
You don't think you can be sweet
because you're so tough.
1222
01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:42,697
Toughest kid in the world, right?
1223
01:10:44,449 --> 01:10:48,077
But if you quit the pageant,
you won't be sweet or tough.
1224
01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:56,169
Besides, Mary, the real Mary,
didn't care what anyone thought of her
1225
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,088
and did the hard thing,
even though it was scary.
1226
01:11:02,633 --> 01:11:04,510
You're kinda like that, actually.
1227
01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:12,351
Please show up... for my mom?
1228
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:18,024
Even if it's just to make everyone angry?
1229
01:11:20,234 --> 01:11:23,863
I'm sorry.
I'm a Herdman. I'm just not her.
1230
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:39,712
At least our candles will look perfect.
1231
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:44,425
Well, we're here.
1232
01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:49,597
You made it. Be proud of that.
1233
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,099
Right, Beth?
1234
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:55,353
We've never once run
through the whole thing.
1235
01:11:55,895 --> 01:11:57,897
I don't know what's gonna happen tonight.
1236
01:11:57,980 --> 01:12:01,067
If the Herdmans show up, it might be
the first Christmas pageant in history
1237
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:03,194
where Joseph
and the wise men get in a fight
1238
01:12:03,277 --> 01:12:05,613
and Mary lights a stogie
and hightails it with the baby.
1239
01:12:05,696 --> 01:12:07,323
Do you mind?
1240
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:08,908
No.
1241
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:13,037
- Uh, break a leg.
- Thank you.
1242
01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:16,833
He doesn't mean it.
It's what they say in the theater.
1243
01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:19,210
Mrs. Armstrong wrote
about it in her book of notes.
1244
01:12:19,293 --> 01:12:21,128
Hey, look at you.
1245
01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:22,547
Oh... Too tight.
1246
01:12:24,465 --> 01:12:26,843
You look great. You can go backstage.
1247
01:12:31,013 --> 01:12:32,139
Don't think they're coming.
1248
01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:43,693
I think I need Alice.
1249
01:12:46,904 --> 01:12:47,905
Understood.
1250
01:12:49,156 --> 01:12:50,157
Alice?
1251
01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:55,997
You may need to play Mary tonight.
1252
01:13:17,268 --> 01:13:21,439
- All right, here we go.
- Yeah.
1253
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:22,732
Shirley's wing poked me.
1254
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:24,233
It's okay, sweetheart.
1255
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:25,776
When she turns around, just duck.
1256
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:26,903
Okay.
1257
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:36,537
Mary and Joseph are dressed
and ready to go.
1258
01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:38,873
That's great, Alice.
1259
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,864
Thank you all for coming.
1260
01:14:17,286 --> 01:14:23,793
For 75 years
the pageant has been an opportunity...
1261
01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:29,382
to remind us who Christmas
is supposed to be about.
1262
01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:37,348
This year, uh, it's turned out a little
different than we planned.
1263
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:39,642
Which, I'll admit...
1264
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:41,811
...is a first for this pageant.
1265
01:14:47,608 --> 01:14:48,609
Honestly...
1266
01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:55,950
so much has happened to get us here...
1267
01:14:58,202 --> 01:15:00,871
that I don't quite know
what's gonna happen tonight.
1268
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,876
But maybe that's not a bad thing.
1269
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:10,006
Because Mary
and Joseph weren't so sure either.
1270
01:15:14,218 --> 01:15:15,469
Thank you for coming.
1271
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,223
And Merry Christmas.
1272
01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:38,034
- Are you okay?
- I have no idea.
1273
01:15:38,117 --> 01:15:40,578
Okay.
1274
01:15:59,263 --> 01:16:02,808
♪ Away in a manger ♪
1275
01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:06,562
♪ No crib for a bed ♪
1276
01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:10,483
♪ The little Lord Jesus ♪
1277
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:13,819
♪ Laid down his sweet head ♪
1278
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,155
♪ The stars in the bright sky ♪
1279
01:16:16,238 --> 01:16:17,656
What is she doing?
1280
01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:19,575
♪ Looked down where he lay ♪
1281
01:16:19,658 --> 01:16:21,202
What's wrong?
1282
01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:24,914
♪ The little Lord Jesus ♪
1283
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:28,584
♪ Asleep on the hay ♪
1284
01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:31,212
♪ The cattle are lowing ♪
1285
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:36,425
♪ The baby awakes ♪
1286
01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:39,845
♪ But little Lord Jesus... ♪
1287
01:16:50,147 --> 01:16:51,565
What is she wearing?
1288
01:16:52,691 --> 01:16:54,110
She brought something from home.
1289
01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:57,863
She said if she was going to do this,
she was gonna look like the real Mary.
1290
01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:00,908
They look like refugees. Ugh.
1291
01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:03,619
Yeah.
1292
01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:06,247
They do.
1293
01:17:09,625 --> 01:17:12,169
In the days of Caesar Augustus,
1294
01:17:12,253 --> 01:17:16,340
a decree went out that
all the world should be taxed
1295
01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:19,760
and Joseph went to Bethlehem
with Mary, his wife...
1296
01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:32,982
♪ O little town of Bethlehem ♪
1297
01:17:33,065 --> 01:17:38,070
♪ How still we see thee lie ♪
1298
01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:42,867
♪ Above thy deep and dreamless sleep ♪
1299
01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:47,830
♪ The silent stars go by ♪
1300
01:17:47,913 --> 01:17:51,083
♪ Yet in thy dark streets shineth ♪
1301
01:17:53,544 --> 01:17:56,422
♪ The everlasting light... ♪
1302
01:17:56,505 --> 01:17:58,048
Why are you burpin' the doll?
1303
01:17:58,132 --> 01:18:00,759
It's how I helped Gladys
when she was a baby.
1304
01:18:03,846 --> 01:18:05,431
♪ Are met in thee tonight ♪
1305
01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:07,183
I never!
1306
01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:11,896
Burping the baby Jesus as if he had colic.
That certainly wasn't in the program.
1307
01:18:11,979 --> 01:18:13,272
Well, I like it.
1308
01:18:13,355 --> 01:18:15,816
You think the baby Jesus
didn't need to burp?
1309
01:18:15,900 --> 01:18:17,902
He's...
1310
01:18:17,985 --> 01:18:20,738
And in that region,
there were shepherds in the field,
1311
01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:23,991
keeping watch over their flocks by night.
1312
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:33,292
♪ While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night ♪
1313
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:38,255
♪ All seated on the ground ♪
1314
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:43,344
♪ The angel of the Lord came down ♪
1315
01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:48,265
♪ And glory shone around ♪
1316
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:53,395
And an angel of the Lord appeared to them.
1317
01:19:02,529 --> 01:19:05,699
And an angel of the Lord appeared to them.
1318
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,417
Hey!
1319
01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:20,422
Unto you a child is born!
1320
01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:27,346
What are you waiting for? Go see the baby!
1321
01:19:40,192 --> 01:19:41,485
Aw.
1322
01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,201
Hurry up!
1323
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:15,894
♪ We three kings of orient are ♪
1324
01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:20,190
♪ Bearing gifts we traverse afar ♪
1325
01:20:20,274 --> 01:20:22,776
♪ Field and fountain ♪
1326
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:24,528
♪ Moor and mountain... ♪
1327
01:20:24,611 --> 01:20:26,530
I knew this would happen.
1328
01:20:26,613 --> 01:20:29,533
They don't have the frankincense
or the myrrh or the gold.
1329
01:20:29,616 --> 01:20:31,702
They brought something different
1330
01:20:31,785 --> 01:20:34,204
and I knew right away where it came from.
1331
01:20:35,039 --> 01:20:36,999
They probably don't even like ham.
1332
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,669
Yes, they do. They love ham.
1333
01:20:43,714 --> 01:20:46,508
My ham's in the play.
1334
01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:50,971
And when Jesus was born,
1335
01:20:51,055 --> 01:20:54,808
there came wise men
from the east to worship him,
1336
01:20:54,892 --> 01:20:59,063
bringing gifts of gold
and frankincense and myrrh.
1337
01:21:08,822 --> 01:21:11,909
They're supposed to leave.
They're ruining the whole thing.
1338
01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:15,329
It makes perfect sense
for the wise men to sit down and rest.
1339
01:21:15,412 --> 01:21:17,206
They came a long way.
1340
01:21:17,289 --> 01:21:19,583
You expect them
to hand over the ham and leave?
1341
01:21:19,666 --> 01:21:21,418
They didn't bring ham!
1342
01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:31,512
♪ What Child is this who, laid to rest ♪
1343
01:21:31,595 --> 01:21:36,475
♪ on Mary's lap is sleeping? ♪
1344
01:21:36,558 --> 01:21:38,602
♪ Whom angels... ♪
1345
01:21:38,685 --> 01:21:41,313
As for ruining the whole thing,
1346
01:21:41,397 --> 01:21:45,651
it seemed to me that the Herdmans
had improved the pageant, a lot.
1347
01:21:47,528 --> 01:21:49,905
Just by doing what came naturally.
1348
01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:52,282
Like burping the baby, for instance.
1349
01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:54,785
Or thinking a ham
would make a better present
1350
01:21:54,868 --> 01:21:56,328
than a lot of perfume or oil.
1351
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:10,884
Usually by the time
we got to "Silent Night,"
1352
01:22:10,968 --> 01:22:14,888
I was fed up with the whole thing,
couldn't wait for it to be over.
1353
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,100
But I didn't feel that way this time.
1354
01:22:21,645 --> 01:22:26,066
I almost wished for the pageant
to go on with the Herdmans in charge,
1355
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:28,068
just to see what else they'd do.
1356
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:11,278
I realized I'd never really
seen the Nativity before.
1357
01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:16,617
But Imogene was helping me
see it more clearly than ever.
1358
01:23:28,712 --> 01:23:32,299
♪ Silent night ♪
1359
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:35,469
♪ Holy night ♪
1360
01:23:35,552 --> 01:23:39,056
♪ All is calm ♪
1361
01:23:39,139 --> 01:23:42,267
♪ All is bright ♪
1362
01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:47,814
♪ Round yon virgin mother and child... ♪
1363
01:23:47,898 --> 01:23:49,691
And then it happened.
1364
01:23:50,817 --> 01:23:52,569
Everyone had been waiting all this time
1365
01:23:52,653 --> 01:23:55,864
for the Herdmans to do something
absolutely unexpected.
1366
01:23:56,615 --> 01:23:58,367
And sure enough...
1367
01:23:58,450 --> 01:23:59,451
Look.
1368
01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:05,290
She's crying.
1369
01:24:07,251 --> 01:24:09,086
Mary is crying.
1370
01:24:15,092 --> 01:24:16,552
In that moment
1371
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:21,723
Imogene Herdman experienced the real
Christmas story for the very first time.
1372
01:24:25,852 --> 01:24:27,604
And so we did too.
1373
01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:38,800
♪ Lord at thy birth ♪
1374
01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:44,973
Well...
1375
01:25:45,807 --> 01:25:49,102
it was the best Christmas pageant ever.
1376
01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:14,086
Take a bow.
1377
01:26:16,421 --> 01:26:19,007
Bow. They're clapping for you.
1378
01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:25,031
Everyone agreed it was the best ever
1379
01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:28,201
but nobody seemed to know why exactly.
1380
01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:30,579
One thing I did know,
1381
01:27:30,662 --> 01:27:33,832
because of my mom and her understanding
of the Christmas story,
1382
01:27:33,915 --> 01:27:37,294
the Herdmans finally got
what they needed most all along.
1383
01:27:38,128 --> 01:27:40,005
A community.
1384
01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:42,841
But they gave us
something we needed all along, too.
1385
01:27:44,009 --> 01:27:47,596
For years, I thought about the wonder of
Christmas and the mystery of Jesus's birth
1386
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:49,222
and never really understood it.
1387
01:27:49,306 --> 01:27:53,226
But now, it didn't seem
so mysterious after all.
1388
01:27:54,519 --> 01:27:57,147
When Imogene asked me
what the pageant was about,
1389
01:27:57,230 --> 01:27:59,316
I told her it was about Jesus.
1390
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:01,359
But that was just part of it.
1391
01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:04,112
It was about a new baby
1392
01:28:04,196 --> 01:28:07,741
and his dirt-poor mother and father
who were in a lot of trouble.
1393
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:13,330
No money, no place to go, no doctor,
nobody they knew, no respect.
1394
01:28:14,289 --> 01:28:19,002
But they were the ones God chose
to help change the world.
1395
01:28:23,381 --> 01:28:28,637
As for Imogene, Christmas seemed
to come over her all at once.
1396
01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:57,749
Thanks for coming back.
1397
01:28:58,750 --> 01:28:59,751
You made me.
1398
01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:02,838
I don't think so.
1399
01:29:05,632 --> 01:29:08,218
Here's your ham. Great prop.
1400
01:29:08,969 --> 01:29:12,556
It wasn't a prop.
It was a gift from the boys.
1401
01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:20,355
And I have something else.
1402
01:29:22,524 --> 01:29:24,734
I figured it was time to return this.
1403
01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:35,203
Thanks.
1404
01:29:36,663 --> 01:29:39,833
So... ...now that the pageant is over,
1405
01:29:41,585 --> 01:29:44,212
you probably don't plan
on coming here again.
1406
01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:47,674
But maybe you could come next week?
1407
01:29:50,552 --> 01:29:52,095
As long as there's snacks.
1408
01:29:58,560 --> 01:29:59,769
It's exactly right.
1409
01:30:01,271 --> 01:30:02,272
Right?
1410
01:30:03,189 --> 01:30:04,190
What's that?
1411
01:30:05,108 --> 01:30:06,109
The painting.
1412
01:30:08,028 --> 01:30:10,405
What did she mean, "Exactly right"?
1413
01:30:10,947 --> 01:30:12,282
I don't know.
1414
01:30:15,660 --> 01:30:21,333
I think Imogene liked the idea
of the Mary in the painting.
1415
01:30:23,460 --> 01:30:24,836
All pure-looking.
1416
01:30:25,670 --> 01:30:30,926
As if she never did anything else
except have Jesus on Christmas Eve.
1417
01:30:33,553 --> 01:30:37,682
Imogene once told me...
... I'm not her.
1418
01:30:40,644 --> 01:30:41,645
But to me...
1419
01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:46,566
Mary will always look
like Imogene Herdman.
1420
01:30:49,986 --> 01:30:56,117
That's why we still use this blanket
even after all these years.
1421
01:31:01,456 --> 01:31:05,085
So, everyone...
1422
01:31:05,168 --> 01:31:11,424
...now that you know
why the pageant is so important to us,
1423
01:31:11,508 --> 01:31:15,053
I don't know,
would anybody like to play a part?
1424
01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:19,099
Wow, that is so many hands!
1425
01:31:19,182 --> 01:31:24,604
Thankfully, we have a lot of parts
and there are no small parts.
1426
01:31:25,730 --> 01:31:30,860
Okay, so, um, parents, if you wanna
take everybody down to the sanctuary,
1427
01:31:30,944 --> 01:31:33,989
we'll get everybody sorted,
we'll assign you roles,
1428
01:31:34,072 --> 01:31:36,783
and we will have our very first rehearsal.
1429
01:31:37,575 --> 01:31:41,204
Okay, get out of here.
1430
01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:26,791
Can I try those?
1431
01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:37,260
Uh, hmm...
...well, those were Gladys's wings.
1432
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:39,888
She won't let anyone else wear them.
1433
01:32:39,971 --> 01:32:45,226
But if you run on downstairs,
we'll find you a whole new set.
1434
01:33:02,368 --> 01:33:05,705
Hey. "Unto you a child is born."
1435
01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:30,230
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1436
01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:34,400
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
1437
01:33:34,484 --> 01:33:38,822
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1438
01:33:38,905 --> 01:33:42,158
♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪
1439
01:33:44,577 --> 01:33:49,290
♪ Down in the lowly manger ♪
1440
01:33:49,374 --> 01:33:52,919
♪ Our humble Christ was born ♪
1441
01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:57,799
♪ And God sent us salvation ♪
1442
01:33:57,882 --> 01:34:01,803
♪ That blessed Christmas morn ♪
1443
01:34:01,886 --> 01:34:06,891
♪ And I said go tell it on the mountain ♪
1444
01:34:06,975 --> 01:34:11,396
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
1445
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:15,233
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1446
01:34:15,316 --> 01:34:19,821
♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪
1447
01:34:19,904 --> 01:34:23,992
♪ While shepherds kept their watch ♪
1448
01:34:24,075 --> 01:34:28,663
♪ O'er silent flocks by night ♪
1449
01:34:28,746 --> 01:34:32,750
♪ Behold throughout the heavens ♪
1450
01:34:32,834 --> 01:34:36,754
♪ There shone a holy light ♪
1451
01:34:36,838 --> 01:34:41,926
♪ And I said go tell it on the mountain ♪
1452
01:34:42,010 --> 01:34:46,181
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
1453
01:34:46,264 --> 01:34:50,101
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1454
01:34:50,185 --> 01:34:54,355
♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪
1455
01:35:10,622 --> 01:35:12,457
Now y'all listen to me.
1456
01:35:12,540 --> 01:35:13,666
- ♪ Go ♪
- ♪ Go ♪
1457
01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,668
♪ Tell it on the mountain ♪
1458
01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:16,878
♪ On the mountain ♪
1459
01:35:16,961 --> 01:35:21,216
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
1460
01:35:21,299 --> 01:35:22,383
- ♪ Go ♪
- ♪ Go ♪
1461
01:35:22,467 --> 01:35:25,011
♪ Tell it on the mountain ♪
1462
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:30,058
♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪
1463
01:35:30,141 --> 01:35:34,145
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1464
01:35:34,229 --> 01:35:38,691
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
1465
01:35:38,775 --> 01:35:42,195
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1466
01:35:42,278 --> 01:35:48,451
♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪
1467
01:35:51,120 --> 01:35:52,330
Whoo!
1468
01:35:56,251 --> 01:36:00,129
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
1469
01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:22,527
♪ O come, all ye faithful ♪
1470
01:36:22,610 --> 01:36:26,781
♪ Joyful and triumphant ♪
1471
01:36:26,864 --> 01:36:31,411
♪ O come ye, O come ye ♪
1472
01:36:31,494 --> 01:36:35,581
♪ To Bethlehem ♪
1473
01:36:36,708 --> 01:36:41,087
♪ Come and behold him ♪
1474
01:36:41,170 --> 01:36:45,508
♪ Born the king of angels ♪
1475
01:36:45,591 --> 01:36:50,096
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1476
01:36:50,179 --> 01:36:54,767
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1477
01:36:54,851 --> 01:37:00,064
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1478
01:37:00,148 --> 01:37:03,401
♪ Christ the Lord ♪
1479
01:37:11,617 --> 01:37:15,955
♪ Sing choirs of angels ♪
1480
01:37:16,039 --> 01:37:20,460
♪ Sing in exultation ♪
1481
01:37:20,543 --> 01:37:25,173
♪ O sing all ye citizens ♪
1482
01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:29,552
♪ Of heaven above ♪
1483
01:37:30,511 --> 01:37:35,099
♪ Glory to God ♪
1484
01:37:35,183 --> 01:37:39,103
♪ Glory in the highest ♪
1485
01:37:39,187 --> 01:37:43,691
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1486
01:37:43,775 --> 01:37:48,279
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1487
01:37:48,363 --> 01:37:53,409
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1488
01:37:53,493 --> 01:37:57,372
♪ Christ the Lord ♪
1489
01:38:00,708 --> 01:38:05,463
♪ Come and behold him ♪
1490
01:38:05,546 --> 01:38:09,467
♪ Born the king of angels ♪
1491
01:38:09,550 --> 01:38:14,138
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1492
01:38:14,222 --> 01:38:18,810
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1493
01:38:18,893 --> 01:38:23,898
♪ O come, let us adore him ♪
1494
01:38:23,981 --> 01:38:27,735
♪ Christ the Lord ♪
1495
01:38:30,113 --> 01:38:34,826
♪ Oh, Christ ♪
1496
01:38:35,576 --> 01:38:37,370
♪ The Lord ♪