1 00:00:01,794 --> 00:00:04,451 Welcome to the quarterly report with yours truly, 2 00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:06,384 me. 3 00:00:06,384 --> 00:00:08,593 All right. So investments by sector... 4 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,595 Things are going really great at work. 5 00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:13,736 I feel like I finally found what I'm meant to do in life. 6 00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:15,669 Jimmy. 7 00:00:15,669 --> 00:00:18,016 - Does anyone ever call you Big Red? - No. 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:22,158 And it feels really great to finally be, you know, appreciated. 9 00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:24,609 Let's go. 10 00:00:25,231 --> 00:00:26,266 - Out. - Out. 11 00:00:27,855 --> 00:00:30,660 - Oh! - Fuck! 12 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,521 I finally feel like I belong somewhere. 13 00:00:33,523 --> 00:00:35,661 Everything is coming up Guillermo. 14 00:00:35,662 --> 00:00:37,284 Fuck you too. 15 00:00:38,286 --> 00:00:40,598 Okay. All my best to Patrice. Bye. 16 00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:43,773 - Dude, that move you made on Salazar. - Mmm. 17 00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:46,017 Holy shit. How did you know that we should short that? 18 00:00:46,018 --> 00:00:47,743 You know someone over there? 19 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,399 Just did my research. Just leave it at that. 20 00:00:49,401 --> 00:00:50,884 You know what I say, 21 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,024 you do whatever you can get away with, right? 22 00:00:53,024 --> 00:00:54,887 And don't use that. 23 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,476 That's the kinda shit that we look for in our full-time analyst. 24 00:00:57,478 --> 00:00:59,686 Mr. Nelson was saying he's very pleased 25 00:00:59,686 --> 00:01:00,963 - with your work. - What? 26 00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:02,653 You could be moving up here real quick, G. 27 00:01:02,655 --> 00:01:04,518 - Oh. - In fact, 28 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:06,313 tomorrow night, we should have a little rager here 29 00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,039 and toast to your badass self. 30 00:01:08,039 --> 00:01:09,489 Think about preppin' a speech 31 00:01:09,489 --> 00:01:10,903 'cause I got something special planned for you 32 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,319 that you are gonna love. 33 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:13,942 Invite some friends, huh? 34 00:01:13,942 --> 00:01:15,667 - Yeah. - You do have friends, don't ya? 35 00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:19,430 - Yeah. Okay. I got tons of friends. - Cool, I wanna meet 'em! 36 00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:21,742 So I'll be making a speech 37 00:01:21,742 --> 00:01:24,884 and you would all be attending as my friends. 38 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,230 Well, friends as in your friends or someone else's? 39 00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:28,921 Someone else's feels better. 40 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:32,891 Ah, I would be attending as a valued Cannon Capital employee, 41 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,652 not your friend. 42 00:01:34,652 --> 00:01:36,722 Okay, you know what? Forget it. Forget I even asked. 43 00:01:36,723 --> 00:01:40,037 Nonsense. I will also be attending as a former employee. 44 00:01:40,037 --> 00:01:42,039 And don't worry, I will not be "triggered" 45 00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:45,973 by returning to the corridors I once kept so very tidy 46 00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:47,906 as chief supreme janitor. 47 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,150 I think you were just a regular janitor. 48 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,981 And I too shall attend, for your soiree shall be the perfect debut 49 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:57,329 - for my completed Cravensworth's Monster. - Oh. 50 00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,090 It's been a rocky road, but as you can see, 51 00:01:59,091 --> 00:02:00,781 he's quite the handsome chap. 52 00:02:00,781 --> 00:02:02,748 And far smarter than Nandor. 53 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,129 - What the fuck? - Yeah. 54 00:02:04,131 --> 00:02:05,545 I don't know, Laszlo. I mean, 55 00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:08,409 the last time we took him around other people, 56 00:02:08,411 --> 00:02:11,170 he popped Jerry's head like a swollen tick. 57 00:02:11,171 --> 00:02:13,518 Jerry did pretty much deserve that. 58 00:02:13,519 --> 00:02:14,933 And he's promised not to do it again. 59 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,590 Stand up. Come round here. 60 00:02:16,591 --> 00:02:18,591 If you're going to insist on bringing him, 61 00:02:18,592 --> 00:02:20,731 he simply must wear trousers. 62 00:02:20,733 --> 00:02:22,908 Not tonight, Josephine. 63 00:02:58,944 --> 00:03:00,876 All right, it's official. 64 00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:02,497 You are swagged out. 65 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,811 - Will Laszlo like? - Do you like? 66 00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:08,021 Laszlo master. What would Laszlo like? 67 00:03:09,195 --> 00:03:13,784 Okay. You know, you and I don't have to go to this party, Monster. 68 00:03:13,786 --> 00:03:18,617 I mean, we could stay home and binge watch a season of USOT. 69 00:03:18,618 --> 00:03:20,102 United States of Tara. 70 00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:23,002 No. Laszlo say we go party. 71 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,450 But is that what you want? 72 00:03:24,451 --> 00:03:26,108 Want make Laszlo proud. 73 00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:27,902 Do you want to make me proud? 74 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,181 Laszlo master. 75 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,045 Yeah, all right. 76 00:03:33,081 --> 00:03:35,772 - Hey you, guys. - Oh! 77 00:03:35,774 --> 00:03:37,877 Today everyone is talking about the man of the hour. 78 00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:40,639 Whatever you heard, don't believe it. None of it's true. 79 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,883 Come on! We heard the Salazar short was all you. 80 00:03:42,884 --> 00:03:45,402 Uh... Yeah, that part is true. You can believe it. 81 00:03:45,403 --> 00:03:47,474 - I believe 'em. I'm a believer. - Oh, yep! 82 00:03:48,235 --> 00:03:50,477 Oh. Excuse me for a moment. You made it! 83 00:03:50,478 --> 00:03:52,478 - Look at this! It's the friends! - Yeah. 84 00:03:52,479 --> 00:03:54,033 - They're real. Pinch me. - Pinch. 85 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,481 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 86 00:03:55,483 --> 00:03:57,691 - Sorry. - Don't mind the cameras here. 87 00:03:57,692 --> 00:03:59,521 We're making a little promotional documentary 88 00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:03,075 about Cannon Capital in, what we like to call, the Cannon way. 89 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,078 - So you'll get used to 'em. - Jordan. 90 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,804 Ah. Yes, Nan... Nancy? 91 00:04:06,805 --> 00:04:08,908 - Yeah. - Leave it with me. 92 00:04:08,909 --> 00:04:13,223 I say my perfectly normal friend here needs to take a piss. 93 00:04:13,224 --> 00:04:15,399 - Ah. - Where would he do that? 94 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,228 Toilet now. 95 00:04:17,228 --> 00:04:19,920 - Uh, just down the hall on the left. - Thanking you. Come on. 96 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,026 Come on. It's to the left. 97 00:04:22,026 --> 00:04:23,889 Maybe I'm trippin' out here, 98 00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:26,134 but isn't that the guy that beat the fuckin' shit out of you? Bald guy? 99 00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:28,307 - What? I don't think so. - Looks like him. 100 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,896 - Mmm. Mm-hmm. - And... Hey, you. 101 00:04:30,898 --> 00:04:32,278 Weren't you a janitor here? 102 00:04:32,278 --> 00:04:36,076 Ha. I get that a lot. No, that was, um, uh... 103 00:04:36,869 --> 00:04:40,286 my slow-witted brother who looks a lot like me, 104 00:04:40,286 --> 00:04:42,425 but he's a completely different guy. 105 00:04:42,427 --> 00:04:43,909 - Well, small world, huh? - Yeah. 106 00:04:43,911 --> 00:04:45,497 But, listen. Sorry we had to let your brother go. 107 00:04:45,499 --> 00:04:47,569 It just wasn't a good culture fit, you know? 108 00:04:47,569 --> 00:04:49,259 Sure, sure. 109 00:04:49,261 --> 00:04:52,608 I guess he just didn't make the grade, so... 110 00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:54,231 I'm glad I'm not that guy. 111 00:04:55,404 --> 00:04:57,923 You tellin' me. So, what do you do? 112 00:04:57,925 --> 00:05:00,339 I used to command armies in the Middle East. 113 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,514 - Top secret stuff. - Sure. Yes. 114 00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:03,136 Like Mossad? 115 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:06,208 - Gesundheit. - Guillermo, shots! Come on. 116 00:05:06,209 --> 00:05:07,658 - Oh, no. - You're taking two shots! 117 00:05:07,658 --> 00:05:09,555 - He's taking some shots! - Set him up, Jimmy. 118 00:05:09,557 --> 00:05:12,249 Okay. But I'll be right back. I'll be right back though. 119 00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,766 So how do you know Guillermo? 120 00:05:13,768 --> 00:05:18,634 Oh, he used to be my right-hand man for many years. 121 00:05:18,634 --> 00:05:20,497 Man, I wish I had four Guillermos, right? 122 00:05:20,499 --> 00:05:22,603 Really lightened my load around here. 123 00:05:22,605 --> 00:05:24,399 I wish I had two Guillermos. 124 00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:27,091 Then you could have one. I would have one. 125 00:05:27,091 --> 00:05:31,577 And then the two Guillermos could become friends or even lovers. 126 00:05:31,579 --> 00:05:34,581 And I could say like, "Hey, Guillermo, go fuck yourself." 127 00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:36,548 And then he could do that. 128 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:37,584 Okay, well... 129 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:40,552 - Cut that. - Nice meeting you. 130 00:05:40,553 --> 00:05:42,211 - There he is. - Oh, yeah. 131 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,598 No. I cannot wait to start working with you. 132 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,288 All right. Take care. 133 00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:53,944 No, you take care. 134 00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:56,189 How about we both take care? Stop it. Okay. Bye. 135 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,228 What? 136 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:05,093 I have just been offered an incredible new job. 137 00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:08,201 But is Guillermo gonna be okay without you watching over him the whole time? 138 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,168 - Doing what? - Remember? 139 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,894 The reason you started working here in the first place? 140 00:06:11,894 --> 00:06:15,622 Oh, right! I guess I completely forgot about that. 141 00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:17,072 Oh, well. Fuck it. 142 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,108 He's doing fine, isn't he? 143 00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:21,663 I certainly am. 144 00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:24,769 I must admit, I am sad to be leaving Cannon Capital. 145 00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:28,531 I never quite figured out what it is we actually do here. 146 00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:29,774 Lamps? 147 00:06:30,569 --> 00:06:34,226 Making and/or selling really enormous lamps? 148 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,125 But... ...there's a lot more work 149 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,266 to be done before I can truly celebrate. 150 00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:41,475 Unfortunately, when you are quitting your job in human world, 151 00:06:41,476 --> 00:06:44,581 you have to burn all of your bridges at your workplace. 152 00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:47,653 It is a very mysterious human custom. 153 00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:49,656 I think that they do it so that their coworkers 154 00:06:49,656 --> 00:06:52,211 that they leave behind will not miss them so much. 155 00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:53,625 It's sort of sweet. 156 00:06:54,869 --> 00:06:57,250 I do not fully understand this tradition, 157 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,562 but as they say in ancient Callipraxos... 158 00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:05,983 Which means "fuck up as much shit as possible." 159 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:11,403 Yeah, they were a really destructive society. 160 00:07:15,821 --> 00:07:17,062 What's he saying? 161 00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:19,307 - It's Latin, you pricks. - I knew that. 162 00:07:19,894 --> 00:07:21,894 Hey, why don't we take a break 163 00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:24,173 and see how many pizza rolls we can get in your mouth? 164 00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:26,002 Laszlo happy? 165 00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:28,074 No. Recite pi to the fiftieth point. 166 00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:32,699 3.1416? 167 00:07:32,699 --> 00:07:34,805 Five! Five! 168 00:07:36,082 --> 00:07:38,704 What are you doing? He's not having any fun. 169 00:07:38,706 --> 00:07:40,396 Of course he is. He's having a great time. 170 00:07:40,398 --> 00:07:41,742 He's the life of the party. 171 00:07:41,744 --> 00:07:43,606 No, he's not. 172 00:07:43,608 --> 00:07:46,057 And I don't appreciate you trotting him out like some dancing bear. 173 00:07:46,057 --> 00:07:48,439 Well, I don't give a monkey's what you appreciate. 174 00:07:48,439 --> 00:07:50,060 He's as happy as a horse. 175 00:07:50,062 --> 00:07:52,374 I suggest you go and get yourself a cocktail. 176 00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:54,548 You get yourself a cocktail. 177 00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:56,308 - Seven. - Did he get it? 178 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,689 - Yes. - Of course he did. 179 00:07:57,691 --> 00:07:59,656 He's the best, that's why. Come out here. 180 00:07:59,658 --> 00:08:02,038 Gather around, everyone. I want you to watch this. 181 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,178 That's it. Out you come. Fast as you can. 182 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:05,766 Turn the music on. 183 00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:06,838 He likes this one. 184 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:11,324 I mean, he's no Patrick Swayze, but he can dance. 185 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,911 Pretty good, right? That's it. 186 00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:14,326 I stop now? 187 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,295 No, no. You stop when I damn well tell you. 188 00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,125 He never gets tired. He can do that all night. 189 00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:22,230 Oh, Cathy. I've been meaning to tell you, 190 00:08:22,231 --> 00:08:25,372 your spreadsheets are absolute hogshit, girlie. 191 00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:28,444 It's, like, are you numerically demented or something? 192 00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:30,274 And Brock, 193 00:08:30,274 --> 00:08:33,898 your fiancée has been cheating on you with your brother for ages. 194 00:08:33,899 --> 00:08:36,004 I'm gonna miss you both so much. 195 00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:37,730 Shit. 196 00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:39,938 Oh, hi. Have you seen Jordan? 197 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:41,664 Someone broke the glass in conference room B. 198 00:08:41,665 --> 00:08:44,322 - Lisa, my favorite. - Oh, come on. 199 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,807 - Your voice is incredibly deep... - Yes. 200 00:08:46,808 --> 00:08:48,672 ...and nasal and grating. 201 00:08:48,673 --> 00:08:50,432 And your whole vibe, 202 00:08:50,432 --> 00:08:53,400 it's like you crave love 'cause you never had it as a child, 203 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,677 like, where were your parents? 204 00:08:54,678 --> 00:08:56,265 You're really hard to be around. 205 00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:00,235 I said I wouldn't cry! 206 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,340 That's not your desk. 207 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,032 Not anymore. It's not. 208 00:09:03,721 --> 00:09:05,344 Very cool. 209 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,414 A water closet in your office? 210 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,278 - Oh, yeah. - You ever get tempted to, you know, 211 00:09:09,278 --> 00:09:11,245 just sit at your desk 212 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,903 and whip it out and see if you can piss right into the toilet? 213 00:09:13,904 --> 00:09:15,732 No, but I'll have to give that a try. 214 00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:17,701 We don't need to be talking about piss in front of my boss. 215 00:09:17,701 --> 00:09:19,219 Ease up, G. 216 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:21,014 I'm always telling Guillermo that he works too hard. 217 00:09:21,014 --> 00:09:23,051 He's always here. I gotta watch out for this guy. 218 00:09:23,052 --> 00:09:25,364 Otherwise, one day, it'll be him behind this desk, 219 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,881 - right? - No. No. 220 00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:29,850 My mini me. My mentee. My right-hand man. 221 00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:31,783 He used to do a similar thing for me. 222 00:09:31,784 --> 00:09:33,475 - We called it shit work. - Ah. 223 00:09:33,475 --> 00:09:35,443 - Same, same. - No, not the same. 224 00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:38,376 For one, I actually get something from working here. 225 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,759 Well... ...why don't we take a little breath here? 226 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,038 - Yeah. - How about you go get me a beer? 227 00:09:45,038 --> 00:09:46,384 - Get yourself some too. - Got it, boss. 228 00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:47,592 And one for me. 229 00:09:47,594 --> 00:09:50,043 Really? You want a beer too? 230 00:09:50,043 --> 00:09:52,392 Yes, Guillermo. I would like a beer 231 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,875 on the rocks. 232 00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:57,049 - Just go get the beers. - Yeah. 233 00:09:57,051 --> 00:09:59,327 It's always a fucking discussion with this guy. 234 00:09:59,328 --> 00:10:02,815 It was the same when he worked for me, you know? So argumentative. 235 00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:04,298 - Mm-hmm. - Always talking back 236 00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,438 like some kind of needy child. 237 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,993 Exactly. Just, like, do what I fucking say. 238 00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:10,581 Yes, like a servant. 239 00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:12,445 Those were your words, not mine. 240 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,895 Sure. Sure. 241 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:19,590 But you do value Guillermo as a part of the team, right? 242 00:10:19,591 --> 00:10:22,799 Let me tell you something. You gotta have at least one guy 243 00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:25,147 who would do anything to make you happy. 244 00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,217 Neediness is a great motivator. 245 00:10:27,219 --> 00:10:28,909 He was always needing something. 246 00:10:28,911 --> 00:10:30,876 - Food. Water. - Yeah. 247 00:10:30,878 --> 00:10:32,465 A new brush for my hair. 248 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,915 Classic beta shit, right? 249 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,850 So, how do you deal with the beta shits? 250 00:10:38,851 --> 00:10:40,645 Well, probably the same way you do. 251 00:10:40,647 --> 00:10:42,682 Smile, and a little speck of hope, 252 00:10:42,682 --> 00:10:45,788 and they will do anything you need them to do. 253 00:10:45,789 --> 00:10:47,032 I mean anything. 254 00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:52,001 But, I mean, you wouldn't take advantage of Guillermo like that, right? 255 00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:53,798 No. Officially, no. 256 00:10:56,110 --> 00:11:00,493 I have grown suspicious of Guillermo's beloved Jordan. 257 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:04,048 I'm not sure that he has Guillermo's best interests at heart. 258 00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:06,879 But surely, a true leader would never dream 259 00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:10,433 of treating a loyal underling with such contempt. 260 00:11:10,434 --> 00:11:11,711 That's point. 261 00:11:11,711 --> 00:11:13,885 It's simply not done. 262 00:11:13,886 --> 00:11:16,716 Would you excuse me for a moment, Jordan? I just... 263 00:11:16,716 --> 00:11:20,755 I gotta make sure that Guillermo isn't putting too many rocks in my beer. 264 00:11:24,104 --> 00:11:27,037 No, seriously, man, I feel like everyone's having kids now. 265 00:11:27,038 --> 00:11:28,520 It's, like, gross. 266 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,868 Sorry, I don't wanna hang out with babies all the time. 267 00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:32,938 Yeah. What about you, man? You want kids? 268 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,840 Uh... kids? What am I made of? Money? 269 00:11:38,289 --> 00:11:40,567 - Give me that. That's my man. - Nice. 270 00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:42,948 - That's what I'm talking about. - Fight! Danger! 271 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,572 - Oh! - Sorry! 272 00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:48,298 No sweat, man. 273 00:11:48,299 --> 00:11:50,923 We're just gonna go get this cleaned up, like, away from here. 274 00:11:50,923 --> 00:11:52,269 What the fuck happened there? 275 00:11:52,269 --> 00:11:53,926 You were doing well with the wankers. 276 00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:56,100 - Mistake. - I should damn well say so. 277 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,860 Chill your tits, Laszlo. 278 00:11:57,861 --> 00:12:00,552 You chill your tits. My monster, my rules. 279 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,726 But he has feelings. 280 00:12:01,727 --> 00:12:03,556 Feelings? He's a monster. 281 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,833 He'll have feelings when I tell him to have feelings. 282 00:12:05,835 --> 00:12:07,386 Toilet. 283 00:12:07,388 --> 00:12:09,217 - What a surprise. - Now, see what you've done? 284 00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:13,289 "I feel like I finally found a place where I belong. 285 00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:15,394 And I wanna specially thank Jordan 286 00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:17,536 for seeing something in me that perhaps I didn't see"... 287 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,158 Guillermo, I must speak with you urgently. 288 00:12:19,158 --> 00:12:20,952 No, not right now. I'm practicing my speech. 289 00:12:20,953 --> 00:12:23,543 Guillermo, I do not trust this man Jordan nor his intentions for you. 290 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,405 Of course. 291 00:12:26,407 --> 00:12:28,201 - Of course what? - Things are finally looking up for me. 292 00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:30,100 I have a purpose, a future. 293 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,240 And here you are, trying to ruin it all, 'cause why? 294 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,241 - 'Cause you're jealous? - I'm trying to help you. 295 00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:35,899 You've never believed in me, never encouraged me. 296 00:12:35,899 --> 00:12:38,177 You just let me sit and stew 297 00:12:38,177 --> 00:12:40,385 and wonder endlessly why I wasn't good enough. 298 00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:42,181 That does not sound like something I would do. 299 00:12:42,182 --> 00:12:43,802 And Jordan is not like you. 300 00:12:43,803 --> 00:12:46,495 I'm about to get promoted to full-time analyst, 301 00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:48,876 and here you are trying to tear it all down like you always do 302 00:12:48,878 --> 00:12:50,395 when I have something special in front of me. 303 00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:53,294 All right, everybody, circle up. Come on, bring it in. 304 00:12:53,296 --> 00:12:55,780 Now, you know how much I hate public speaking, but you guys... 305 00:12:55,782 --> 00:12:57,126 - Guillermo... - No. 306 00:12:57,128 --> 00:12:58,610 This is how it's supposed to be. 307 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,613 You work hard and you get rewarded. 308 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,995 And if you don't like that, you don't have to be a part of my life. 309 00:13:03,686 --> 00:13:07,136 We just made a sizable chunk of change shorting Salazar. 310 00:13:07,138 --> 00:13:08,759 - Let's hear it. Yeah! - Yeah! 311 00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:11,865 But there is one person that I really gotta shout out. 312 00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:14,212 He's the reason why we're all here tonight. 313 00:13:14,214 --> 00:13:18,423 Cannon's visionary founder, Mr. Gene Nelson! 314 00:13:18,424 --> 00:13:20,668 A legend in our midst! Yeah. 315 00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,048 Don't let me interrupt you, Jordan. 316 00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:24,672 Tonight's about you and your stellar team. 317 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,225 Well, you know what, sir? It is a team. 318 00:13:26,225 --> 00:13:28,433 I'm always saying to the people here 319 00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:31,368 that we are like the Avengers of Wall Street, right? 320 00:13:31,369 --> 00:13:34,302 We got the, of course, Captain America back there. 321 00:13:34,302 --> 00:13:37,822 And Black Widow with Spider-man right there. 322 00:13:37,823 --> 00:13:41,585 And Raj, you know you are my Thor, baby, dropping that hammer. 323 00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:43,000 And who else? 324 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,520 I guess Groot. So solid. And... Huh! 325 00:13:46,522 --> 00:13:48,730 Well, what does that make me? Who brings everybody together? 326 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:50,697 - Tony Stark. - Tony Stark. I'll take it. 327 00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:53,493 Let's raise a glass to Mr. Nelson. 328 00:13:53,494 --> 00:13:55,323 Let's keep this rager raging. 329 00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,395 - Hey, Jordan. I thought you were... - Thanks, buddy. 330 00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:01,052 - What about my... - Hey, Mr. Nelson. VIP area... 331 00:14:01,053 --> 00:14:03,226 Thank you so much for that, Jordan. 332 00:14:03,227 --> 00:14:06,057 But I will make a real announcement. 333 00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:10,682 Sadly, my time here at Cannon Capital Strategies 334 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,028 is coming to an end. 335 00:14:12,029 --> 00:14:14,687 I know. Let your tears out, it's okay. 336 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,000 But I got an offer I couldn't refuse 337 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,001 from a very exciting new company, 338 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,176 and I think they really wanted me 339 00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:23,109 because all I had to do to get the job 340 00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,456 was send them ten thousand dollars in cash 341 00:14:25,456 --> 00:14:27,250 along with some photographs of my feet. 342 00:14:27,251 --> 00:14:28,769 Wait, what? 343 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,634 - Headhunted! - Yeah! 344 00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:35,432 So, now all I need to do is convince 15 more people to join me. 345 00:14:35,432 --> 00:14:38,365 - Who's in? - Uh, you just got scammed. 346 00:14:38,366 --> 00:14:41,230 Yeah, enjoy your totally real, new job, bitch. 347 00:14:41,231 --> 00:14:42,888 - What? - And if they're not hiring, 348 00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:44,578 - I'm sure the Ren Faire is. Great outfit. - Oh, yeah. 349 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:46,995 - I've got a new job... - Leave Nadja alone! 350 00:14:47,755 --> 00:14:49,514 - Relax. - Oh, I don't want another head. 351 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,481 - I swear to fuck. - Calm down. 352 00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:53,519 Dick. 353 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:54,969 Thanks a lot, asshole. 354 00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,556 You behave like an animal. 355 00:14:56,557 --> 00:14:59,179 Come on. Stop beating yourself up. 356 00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:01,113 Laszlo mad at me. 357 00:15:01,114 --> 00:15:03,770 No, he's not mad at you. 358 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,705 You were just exhibiting classic party behavior. 359 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,499 Who cares if you get loose as a goose? 360 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,121 I monster. 361 00:15:10,123 --> 00:15:12,054 You are not a monster. 362 00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:14,714 You are a cool dude. 363 00:15:15,299 --> 00:15:18,062 Shit. Your staple's leaking. 364 00:15:20,097 --> 00:15:22,996 All right. I'm gonna call you next week. Thanks for coming by. 365 00:15:22,998 --> 00:15:24,342 Hey, Jordan. Can I talk to you? 366 00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:26,345 Sorry. Old man Nelson was going on and on, 367 00:15:26,346 --> 00:15:28,587 but his nurse/wife got him out of here, 368 00:15:28,588 --> 00:15:30,038 - so, what's up? - Uh... 369 00:15:30,038 --> 00:15:32,557 I was just wondering why you didn't let me go up there 370 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,145 and give my speech? 371 00:15:34,147 --> 00:15:36,355 I'm so... I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. 372 00:15:36,355 --> 00:15:39,220 With Mr. Nelson being here, it was crazy. 373 00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:41,532 I just didn't want things to get too confusing for everybody. 374 00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:43,706 It's just that you asked me to prepare a speech 375 00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:45,915 and I thought you were happy with the work that I've been doing. 376 00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,780 I am happy. I'm thrilled. 377 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,506 In fact, I got you something 378 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:53,234 that's way better than a stupid shout-out and a speech. 379 00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:54,615 Something that you've earned. 380 00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:56,894 Wait right here. 381 00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:00,447 It's happening. 382 00:16:00,448 --> 00:16:01,898 Close your eyes. 383 00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:03,727 Here we go. Ta-da! Open 'em up. 384 00:16:05,211 --> 00:16:08,421 Just a little thank you for all the hard work that you do around here. 385 00:16:08,422 --> 00:16:09,769 We make a hell of a team, don't we? 386 00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:13,392 Wow. Thank you. 387 00:16:13,393 --> 00:16:15,359 - Hmm. - Um... 388 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,741 Just put it right there on your desk. It'll look nice. 389 00:16:18,985 --> 00:16:20,365 It's just a... 390 00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:25,783 I just thought that maybe you were going to give me a promotion? 391 00:16:28,510 --> 00:16:31,996 No, no, I... I can't promote you until you're ready. 392 00:16:31,998 --> 00:16:33,619 It'll happen when the time is right. 393 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,207 How much time would that be, just, hypothetically? 394 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:38,831 Oh, I don't know. Ballpark a couple of years. 395 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,419 You can't rush paying your dues, Guillermo. 396 00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:43,802 No. 397 00:16:45,149 --> 00:16:45,976 No. 398 00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:49,186 - No! - Whoa! 399 00:16:49,187 --> 00:16:51,326 When the time is right? I already wasted so much time! 400 00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:53,397 What's your fucking damage, bro? 401 00:16:53,398 --> 00:16:55,745 My damage is, I'm tired of being strung along and I'm not doing it anymore! 402 00:16:56,538 --> 00:16:58,125 Really? 403 00:16:58,126 --> 00:17:01,095 Well, maybe you should check your attitude and remember 404 00:17:01,096 --> 00:17:03,269 that you're talking to your fucking boss. 405 00:17:03,269 --> 00:17:06,202 You're the person that helps actually important people 406 00:17:06,203 --> 00:17:07,963 get their shit done. 407 00:17:07,964 --> 00:17:10,413 You're not a killer. You gotta know your fucking place. 408 00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:11,830 Excuse me? 409 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,866 Dude, that's company property. 410 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,111 - You know who you're fucking with? - I'm sorry. 411 00:17:17,112 --> 00:17:19,044 I don'’t think you know who you'’re fucking with. 412 00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:20,596 - Oh, no, no. Nandor. - No. 413 00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:22,324 Nandor, put him down. Nandor, no. 414 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:27,604 You're maybe more successful and rich and smart and better looking 415 00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:29,986 and have a generally cooler vibe than him. 416 00:17:29,987 --> 00:17:32,435 But you do not get to speak to him like that. 417 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,507 - Okay, just-just put him down please. - Put me down. 418 00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:37,682 I cannot have you speaking to Guillermo this way. 419 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,858 Drop him! Now. 420 00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:42,307 Fine. 421 00:17:48,315 --> 00:17:49,936 You know what? You're right. 422 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:52,973 I'm not a killer. But I know a way to hurt you even worse. 423 00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:55,528 I think I'll give a call to the Securities and Exchange Commission. 424 00:17:56,082 --> 00:17:56,875 Yes! 425 00:17:58,186 --> 00:18:00,222 - What is that? - Don't worry about it. 426 00:18:00,223 --> 00:18:02,051 Bullshit. What? You're gonna come at me? 427 00:18:02,053 --> 00:18:04,916 You openly talk about insider trading constantly. 428 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,747 Oh, yeah? Well, how are you gonna prove it? 429 00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:09,714 Yeah, bro, it's my documentary. 430 00:18:11,028 --> 00:18:12,442 It's his documentary. 431 00:18:13,064 --> 00:18:15,894 Yeah. Over the years, I've learned that you gotta protect yourself. 432 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,240 Hey, take a look at this. 433 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,724 And information is a great way of doing that. 434 00:18:19,726 --> 00:18:21,140 - All right, you got all that? - Yes. 435 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,244 Now delete it. 436 00:18:22,246 --> 00:18:24,971 - Why? - Dude, no paper trail. 437 00:18:24,972 --> 00:18:27,768 It's cool. The SEC guy is a total pussy. He's not gonna do shit. 438 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,287 People love telling me things. 439 00:18:30,288 --> 00:18:33,912 Maybe it's my face or that they don't know I'm in the room. 440 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,292 Either way, I keep receipts. 441 00:18:36,294 --> 00:18:39,884 And I'm not talking just about the CVS ones. 442 00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:42,748 It's his documentary. 443 00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:46,165 Cut. Cut. Cut! 444 00:18:49,548 --> 00:18:51,688 Well, that was a bust. 445 00:18:51,689 --> 00:18:53,207 It looks like I'm back to the drawing board 446 00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:55,036 with Cravensworth's Monster. 447 00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:57,625 - I'm not Cravensworth's Monster. - What are you then? 448 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,940 - Robinson's Monster. - Huh. 449 00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:03,355 Don't be so preposterous. 450 00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:05,978 Well, you were really hard on the poor guy in there. 451 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,807 And what was he doing? He was just cutting it up with the guys. 452 00:19:08,808 --> 00:19:10,603 He cried in the bathroom. 453 00:19:10,604 --> 00:19:13,605 He even had Nadja's back without popping that guy's head. 454 00:19:13,606 --> 00:19:17,403 Face it, we created a monster with real emotions. 455 00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:18,440 I, for one, am jazzed. 456 00:19:19,164 --> 00:19:20,819 - Jazz. - Yeah. 457 00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:23,996 I suppose you have a point. And between us, Colin Robinson, 458 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:28,551 we will force the entire scientific community to eat shit. 459 00:19:28,553 --> 00:19:29,656 - Well, we've gotta. - Yeah. 460 00:19:29,657 --> 00:19:32,176 I love both my fathers. 461 00:19:32,177 --> 00:19:33,730 - Of course you do. - Sure you do. 462 00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:34,765 Now kiss. 463 00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,559 I'm, uh... 464 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,977 - What-What was that? - Kiss, Daddies, now. 465 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,667 No, I don't think that's gonna happen. 466 00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:42,566 I don't know. I mean, we could. 467 00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:44,222 We still have 7 floors to go. 468 00:19:44,223 --> 00:19:45,913 He really takes after his daddy. 469 00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:46,986 Horny little freak. 470 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,643 All right. Let's get out of this shithole. 471 00:19:50,644 --> 00:19:51,781 - Yes. - Absolutely. 472 00:19:51,782 --> 00:19:53,025 Fair enough. 473 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:56,477 Well, usually, it's kind of a one-person thing. 474 00:19:56,478 --> 00:19:59,066 Give me your hand. Careful. 475 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,170 After you. 476 00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:02,621 Wow. What a night! 477 00:20:02,622 --> 00:20:05,002 Yeah. I feel like it could've gone better for me. 478 00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:08,626 The way the two of us just took down that evil guy like that. 479 00:20:08,627 --> 00:20:11,042 This must be what it feels like to do a good deed. 480 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,942 I feel so... so... charged up! 481 00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:17,186 Fuck these guys! 482 00:20:17,188 --> 00:20:18,395 Oh, shit! 483 00:20:20,191 --> 00:20:22,779 Yeah! Suck it. 484 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,920 - Go, Nandor! - This feels incredible. 485 00:20:25,921 --> 00:20:28,474 You know, it also make me wonder 486 00:20:29,476 --> 00:20:31,132 what else we could accomplish together. 487 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,065 I'm not going back to being your familiar. 488 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,618 I'm not talking about you being my familiar, Guillermo. 489 00:20:35,619 --> 00:20:38,656 Look, I will always be killing people because I'm a vampire. 490 00:20:38,657 --> 00:20:41,557 It's what we do. But what if I was more picky? 491 00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:44,249 If I use my powers for good. 492 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:48,597 - To bring justice to this unjust world. - Oh. 493 00:20:48,598 --> 00:20:49,806 You mean like Batman. 494 00:20:49,807 --> 00:20:51,739 I don't know who that is. 495 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:57,157 But also, I was thinking, why not create a secret underground lair. 496 00:20:57,159 --> 00:21:01,852 And, I would have my very own young sidekick. 497 00:21:01,853 --> 00:21:03,474 Like Robin. 498 00:21:03,476 --> 00:21:05,234 I don't think robbing people is a good idea. 499 00:21:05,236 --> 00:21:07,306 - I don't know. - You don't know. 500 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,722 You do know! This is why we've been brought together. 501 00:21:10,723 --> 00:21:13,000 It's not for me to make you a fucking vampire. 502 00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:14,313 Fuck all that shit. 503 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:18,144 But for us to create an unbreakable alliance. 504 00:21:18,145 --> 00:21:21,078 To help people in this broken society. 505 00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:22,494 Some shit like that. 506 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:27,118 Face it, Guillermo. You're never gonna be just a normal human guy. 507 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,949 You don't belong with them. 508 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,365 You belong with us. 509 00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:32,987 But I'm not a vampire. 510 00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:35,369 No, you're not. You're something even cooler. 511 00:21:37,164 --> 00:21:38,373 You are a warrior. 512 00:21:46,726 --> 00:21:48,313 Okay. Let go of my hand now. 513 00:21:48,314 --> 00:21:50,522 - It's a bit clammy. - Sorry. 514 00:21:51,317 --> 00:21:52,938 What else can I throw at that building? 515 00:22:01,948 --> 00:22:05,433 I'm done with that pinstripe pit of corporate despair. 516 00:22:06,055 --> 00:22:08,574 - You were only there for an hour, Laszlo. - That was enough. 517 00:22:08,575 --> 00:22:10,921 I had a great time. Got myself a souvenir. 518 00:22:10,922 --> 00:22:12,059 So did I. 519 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:13,165 Oh, no. Is that Lisa? 520 00:22:13,924 --> 00:22:16,755 She really was my favorite. 521 00:22:16,756 --> 00:22:18,376 Well, good night. 522 00:22:18,377 --> 00:22:19,137 I'll be in the shed if you guys... 523 00:22:20,897 --> 00:22:23,174 Guillermo? Where are you going? 524 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,728 Get back here. 525 00:22:24,729 --> 00:22:26,695 We've got things to discuss. 526 00:22:26,696 --> 00:22:29,526 First on the agenda, let's talk capes. 527 00:22:29,527 --> 00:22:32,288 What if we wear them on our fronts?