1 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,300 So he'll be here at eleven. 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,250 That's great. Am I excited? 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,060 Of course I'm excited. 4 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:13,520 When I get off the phone, I may even click my heels. 5 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,380 God, I hate that I saw that. 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,380 Yeah, that's just something I can't do. All right, listen up, everybody. 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,180 Everybody big announcement. Listen up. 8 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:26,820 Chuck Ferguson is coming here today. Chuck Ferguson. 9 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:27,920 Everybody, 10 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,500 can you all hear me? 11 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:36,420 Hockey legend Chuck Ferguson six times scoring leader, 1980 MVP. 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,460 And my personal hero is coming here today 13 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,500 to talk about joining the Sunshine Centers. 14 00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:45,600 Very own San Diego Destroyers as head coach and co owner. 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:52,620 How many of you actually know that we own a hockey team? 16 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,740 You know what this place is? 17 00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,260 It's a well oiled machine. 18 00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:57,900 Don't you have another announcement you have to make? 19 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:58,380 Oh, yes. 20 00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:01,920 For those of you who don't know, Gerard Depardieu passed away. 21 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,260 I'm talking, of course, of Crystal's Dog, 22 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,660 not the French actor who everyone thought was sexy. 23 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:09,540 In 1991. I fell for it myself briefly. 24 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,900 But in retrospect, that's just a fat French man. 25 00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:14,460 Anyway, Crystal is very upset. 26 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,380 So do yourself a favor and avoid her more than you usually do. 27 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:20,740 But don't you have even another announcement you have to make? 28 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,740 Oh, yes. Commercial will be shooting 29 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,140 at the Sunshine Center for the next two days meeting insurance. 30 00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,490 It's Alonzo. 31 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,900 He's starring in his own commercial. 32 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:33,540 You are looking at the new face of Ocean City Auto Mall. 33 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,620 Come on. They do not want to hear me say: 34 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:39,334 Where you'll think you're in heaven, but you're actually in El Cajon. 35 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,340 I love your voice. 36 00:01:41,370 --> 00:01:44,100 It's like warm milk in my ears. 37 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,520 Alonzo. 38 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,320 A word of caution. 39 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,820 People get confused when they see a person on TV, they feel close to them. 40 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,820 Write them letters, knit dolls. 41 00:01:53,850 --> 00:01:55,900 And they're like this with human hair. 42 00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:58,480 If those feelings are reciprocated, 43 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,360 they can get angry. 44 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,440 Thank you again for bringing her into the workplace. 45 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,820 I have a question about Alonso getting a commercial. 46 00:02:09,850 --> 00:02:12,020 Why did Alonso get a commercial? 47 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,820 He missed a shot that lost the playoffs and then cost San Diego or NBA franchise. 48 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:16,450 Oh, I don't know. 49 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,610 Maybe because he's a former basketball star. 50 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,020 He's a pillar of the community. 51 00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:22,060 He's handsome, he's charismatic. 52 00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:25,780 And look at that Tushy. No, I just looked at it. 53 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,280 I just looked at it. Hello, everyone. 54 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,610 Glad to see we're all moving back into the light after shutting ourselves 55 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,060 in our rooms and screaming at God in the darkness. 56 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,890 Yes, we were all just saying that I'm still a little fragile. 57 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,260 So I'd appreciate everyone refraining from using the term hair of the dog. 58 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,800 Wag the dog. Or don't leave your dog in a hot car. 59 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,860 Is one of those dead? 60 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:50,660 Yes, this one is stuffed. 61 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:52,280 No, this one 62 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,660 know this one. 63 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,520 Well, it's one of them. 64 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,340 Today I'm holding an optional, 65 00:02:57,370 --> 00:03:00,940 totally optional Memorial service for Gerrard dip are due. 66 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:03,820 And tomorrow, in the spirit of moving on, 67 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,180 I'm taking a new family photo because after all. 68 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:09,100 I have a new member of my family. 69 00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:13,320 Everyone, please meet Javier Bardem. 70 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,180 Oh, I'm sorry, son. 71 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:19,460 I met my dog family, right? Of course. 72 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,380 Your dog family. That one's on me. 73 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,960 What was I thinking? 74 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,760 I'm a presumptuous little boy. 75 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,860 I don't want to embarrass you, Mr. Ferguson. 76 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,980 But the only thing that will embarrass me is if you call me Mr. 77 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:36,980 Ferguson, call me Chuck Ferguson. The whole thing. 78 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,540 Chuck Ferguson. That'd be great. 79 00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:40,740 Okay, well, Chuck Ferguson. 80 00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,740 I was in Chicago and 77 the night you 81 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:45,900 scored the hat trick against the Blackhawks heck of a night. 82 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,140 We were on the road. I had just found out my wife had been 83 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,100 rushed to the hospital back home to give birth. 84 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,380 Scored three goals, one for each of my new baby. 85 00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:53,820 Triplets Chaz, Chuck Jr. 86 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:54,860 And Charlene. 87 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,340 That was a very big night for me, too. 88 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,220 One of your slap shots went into the crowd. 89 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,340 Hit a little boy in the head. 90 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:01,380 That little boy was me. 91 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,580 It never really healed, right? 92 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,560 I'd like you to feel it. 93 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,420 Oh, got a nice hole in your noggin. Here. 94 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:10,040 Feel this one here. 95 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,380 Don't be shy. Get on in there. 96 00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,500 Hey, look at me. I got my finger in Chuck Ferguson's head. 97 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,980 Ever since Crystal Cohen brought 98 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:21,020 the Destroyers to the Sunshine Center, they've been near and dear to my heart. 99 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,820 Here's why I think you'd be perfect for the team. 100 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,900 You're a winner. 101 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,340 And they're winners. 102 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,020 You lost 56 games last year. 103 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,060 Yes, but we won four, so technically, I'm not lying. 104 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:32,460 Look, Ben, I like you. I like you, too. 105 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,020 Chuck Ferguson. Here's the thing. 106 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,780 The name Chuck Ferguson means something to people. 107 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,220 It's a brand brand. 108 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,460 That means honesty, hard work. 109 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,860 Saving a little baby in a well with some duct tape and a hockey stick. 110 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,420 Good story. I'll tell it to you sometime. 111 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,220 I think you just did. But you could tell me again. 112 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,680 My point is, 113 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,140 Chuck Ferguson is synonymous with family values. 114 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,460 Why kids want my autograph and why my Jersey still sells. 115 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,140 Not to mention the signature line of barbecue myths. 116 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,220 People love me bad. 117 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,340 What can I say. 118 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,180 I want to partner with an organization 119 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:07,060 that values family as much as I do. 120 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:10,540 Well, this is just spooky because we're all about family. 121 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:16,440 Crystal Cohen just recently brought in her son to work at the arena in an undefined. 122 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,180 I did say I just said it. 123 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,260 You know what? 124 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,540 I think my family could be very happy. 125 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:23,140 That is so great. 126 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,700 But before we get the lawyers involved, I want to meet the cones first. 127 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,620 They are lovely people. 128 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,120 Look at that. 129 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,900 That's one of the many garbage cans we have here at the Sunshine Center. 130 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,660 We keep them around so the garbage doesn't pile up on the floor. 131 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:38,820 Are the cows here? 132 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,500 No, they are not. 133 00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:43,600 And that is certainly not them having a dog funeral. 134 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,460 Crystal, I need to bring you up to speed on the Chuck Ferguson deal. 135 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,180 Not now. 136 00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:04,700 I'm consumed with guilt about Gerard, although I don't know why. 137 00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:07,120 He's the one that rolled out the window. 138 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,020 He's ready to come aboard. 139 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,660 He just wants to make sure we're the kind of people he approves of. 140 00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:14,660 He wants to meet the family behind the Sunshine Center. 141 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,220 Those people in that creepy van. 142 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,100 I was wrong to not be clear. My fault. 143 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:20,740 I'm talking about you and Roman. 144 00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:23,860 He wants to see you and Roman together as a family. 145 00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:25,540 Oh, I don't know. 146 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,820 You saw what happened with Roman and me this morning. 147 00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:29,780 It was very uncomfortable. 148 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,140 It's been like that since he was a boy. 149 00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:34,100 I got preoccupied running this place. 150 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:36,280 And then he went off to school. 151 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,940 At least I think it was school. 152 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,580 He didn't come back any smarter. 153 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,260 Maybe it was just a building. 154 00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,420 The point is, we barely know each other. 155 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,820 Chuck Ferguson is my friend. 156 00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,340 This finger has been inside his head, 157 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,220 and he is willing to put up a lot of money to be a part of your hockey team. 158 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:55,180 A team that's won 14 games in five years. 159 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,020 And all you have to do to make that happen 160 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,220 is to get to know your son really quickly, though. 161 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,900 Like, now you'd have to get to know him right now. 162 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,700 Well, how much money are we talking about? 163 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,000 This much? 164 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,540 This much? That much? 165 00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,560 That's very impressive. 166 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,600 Give me my son. 167 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,160 My human son. 168 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,140 I wonder what it would have been like if we dated when you were in the NBA. 169 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,180 No, it was actually kind of boring for the ladies. 170 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,540 You'd find me lots of bling. 171 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,540 And I'd sit in the stands with the other girlfriends, like astronaut wife. 172 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,580 But prettier. 173 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,620 And every time you'd make a three, you'd make a little sign like you'd point 174 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,900 to your heart and then up at the sky like you're pointing to God. 175 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,660 But I know it's me, right? 176 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:43,740 You start cheating 177 00:07:43,770 --> 00:07:48,220 and I leave you for a rock star and we live on the bus and have a kick ass life. 178 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,553 But then, after all the drugs, booze and casual sex... 179 00:07:51,658 --> 00:07:52,536 ready, though? 180 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,160 Thank God. Yes. 181 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,580 Have you seen Roman Shh. 182 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,100 The director is talking to his star. 183 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:02,940 I mean, the guy in the fishing desk is talking to Alonso. 184 00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:05,580 So here's my vision. 185 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,240 You got the ball. 186 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,960 You shoot the ball, you miss the shot. 187 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,460 You talk, boy talks. You talk. 188 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,060 Wait. Lance is going to miss the shot. 189 00:08:18,090 --> 00:08:19,840 That's so humiliating. 190 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,340 I probably shouldn't say this, 191 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,080 but this may be the happiest I've been since we stopped sleeping together. 192 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:29,960 Okay, 193 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,020 let's use this as an opportunity 194 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:35,380 to show Chuck that we have a real family business. 195 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,980 Now, I know there hasn't been a lot 196 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,180 of communication between the two of you for these past ten years. 197 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,500 I lost my phone. I moved. 198 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,580 I lost my phone again. 199 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,260 I moved back to the place I moved from. 200 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,300 All very strong excuses. 201 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,500 But Chuck Ferguson needs to know that we have a loving and connected family. 202 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,540 So let's talk about a happier time 203 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:56,160 when you actually used to be in each other's lives. 204 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,720 I'm frightened, 205 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,720 but I'm ready. 206 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,480 Roman likes 207 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,600 television. 208 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,000 I do like television. 209 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,580 Fantastic. 210 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,260 Maybe there's something more specific, though, to the two of you. 211 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,220 Perhaps a memory you both shared. 212 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,420 I remember one Christmas. 213 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,520 Perfect. 214 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:24,960 Andno, that's it. 215 00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:27,460 I remember one Christmas. 216 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:30,220 Okay, why don't I thank you. Get the ball rolling. 217 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,460 And I'll tell you a story about my childhood as an example of the kind 218 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,376 of thing I'm talking about, maybe it'll spark something. 219 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,060 When I was twelve, my dad took me camping, and I caught my first fish. 220 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,360 That's scary. 221 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,005 We cooked it up over a fire, and we ate it. 222 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,820 Oh, yeah. 223 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,460 And then after dinner, he told me that he and my mom were getting a divorce. 224 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:54,421 And then he went into my tent and drank all my allergy medicine. 225 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,517 What a sad night. 226 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:59,293 So your father's single. -my turn. 227 00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:04,069 When I was little, I had a huge mole on my shoulder. 228 00:10:04,099 --> 00:10:07,969 Turns out, I was initially twins, and it was an underdeveloped head. 229 00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:10,489 My body ate my twin's body. 230 00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:16,409 So far, the mole sister is the one to beat. 231 00:10:16,529 --> 00:10:19,089 Where can we find a normal person? 232 00:10:19,169 --> 00:10:20,789 And just like Papa promised. 233 00:10:20,819 --> 00:10:24,269 When I woke up, the snowstorm was over, my fever was gone. 234 00:10:24,299 --> 00:10:25,469 The pond was frozen. 235 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,389 And we were able to skate again. 236 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,989 And five minutes later, the pony just stood up. 237 00:10:31,019 --> 00:10:35,309 Her breath was steaming out her sticky little adorable nose. 238 00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:37,269 Right then I knew my brother Buck was 239 00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:40,229 a hero, and I didn't even want to be prom Queen. 240 00:10:40,259 --> 00:10:44,529 And the next thing I knew, Duran Duran was singing to me. 241 00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:48,989 I think we have our heartwarming stories, people, 242 00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:52,449 you are a beautiful flower. 243 00:10:54,969 --> 00:10:58,069 Pond, Buck Duran. 244 00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:00,349 I got it. Okay. 245 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:03,069 One more time. Who made the best Apple pie in the family? 246 00:11:03,099 --> 00:11:04,869 Grandma fella. And where was she from? 247 00:11:04,889 --> 00:11:05,589 Beaver Dam. 248 00:11:05,619 --> 00:11:08,029 And how did she die in her sleep with no regrets. 249 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:08,989 Very nice. 250 00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:11,509 And Congratulations to both of you for not laughing at Beaver. 251 00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:12,849 That time, 252 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,549 I thought our presentation could use a visual aid. 253 00:11:23,579 --> 00:11:27,689 So I had Heather Photoshop, a picture of you and Roman at the Grand Canyon. 254 00:11:28,489 --> 00:11:30,459 I remember this trip. 255 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,949 No, you don't. 256 00:11:31,979 --> 00:11:33,739 Benjamin, I want to thank you. 257 00:11:33,769 --> 00:11:35,509 I haven't wanted to delve into my past 258 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,549 with Roman because it was too uncomfortable. 259 00:11:37,579 --> 00:11:39,459 But now we don't have to. 260 00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:43,069 So much easier to forget everything and make new stuff up. 261 00:11:43,089 --> 00:11:44,149 You're welcome. 262 00:11:44,179 --> 00:11:46,549 This was quite an adventure. 263 00:11:46,579 --> 00:11:49,099 I wrote a borough named El Diablo. 264 00:11:49,129 --> 00:11:50,969 No, you didn't. 265 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,269 I don't see you in this picture. Hey, Ben. 266 00:11:54,299 --> 00:11:56,499 We should get a beer sometime. Shock. 267 00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:57,339 I would love it. 268 00:11:57,369 --> 00:11:59,909 You know, beer was originally fermented by monks. 269 00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:00,989 Hang out. 270 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:03,989 Do you have a SEC? Yeah. What's going on? 271 00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:07,589 Well, I have had a lot of fun pretending to be myself. 272 00:12:07,619 --> 00:12:09,499 Well, only someone else. 273 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,269 But listen, Roman, for the last time. 274 00:12:11,289 --> 00:12:13,669 I don't think Chuck's going to make you do the bird calls. 275 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,589 No, I've discovered I'm extraordinary bird calls. 276 00:12:16,609 --> 00:12:18,339 Well, then what could possibly be the problem? 277 00:12:18,369 --> 00:12:19,409 Well, 278 00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:24,809 isn't that weird that none of the memories were using ours? 279 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,029 Yes, a little. 280 00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:32,069 But you wanted to get closer to your mom, and you are sure none of it's real. 281 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,629 But that's part of the fun. 282 00:12:33,649 --> 00:12:34,889 I guess. 283 00:12:36,169 --> 00:12:41,409 I've been trying to find my own memory, and I can't think of one. 284 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,749 Well, look, Roman, if this makes you uncomfortable, we can. 285 00:12:45,769 --> 00:12:48,009 Chuck Ferguson. I see Chuck Ferguson. 286 00:12:49,609 --> 00:12:50,649 Chuck, 287 00:12:50,689 --> 00:12:52,149 what are you doing here? 288 00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:53,549 I thought of that story you told me 289 00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:56,909 earlier today, and I couldn't wait to give this to you. 290 00:12:56,929 --> 00:12:59,229 You didn't have to come all the way down here for that. 291 00:12:59,249 --> 00:13:02,589 I didn't. But that's what Chuck Ferguson does. 292 00:13:02,619 --> 00:13:04,109 You know what it is? 293 00:13:04,139 --> 00:13:05,949 I think it's a hockey stick. 294 00:13:05,969 --> 00:13:07,049 Yes, 295 00:13:07,249 --> 00:13:08,969 but there's more. 296 00:13:09,449 --> 00:13:11,669 Is that the stick that slapped the puck that hit my head? 297 00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:14,469 The one and only straight from my garage. 298 00:13:14,499 --> 00:13:17,049 I was using it to kill Weasels. 299 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,089 So much history. 300 00:13:19,489 --> 00:13:22,749 It's nice that Ben likes the big old hockey man. 301 00:13:22,779 --> 00:13:26,609 He does, doesn't he? I'm not going to let him down. 302 00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,629 I love you, Chuck Ferguson. 303 00:13:28,659 --> 00:13:30,149 I just fell in love with you. 304 00:13:30,169 --> 00:13:31,499 You don't have to say it back. 305 00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:33,129 I'm not going through. 306 00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,749 This is so exciting. 307 00:13:40,769 --> 00:13:42,309 I haven't had a boyfriend who wore makeup 308 00:13:42,339 --> 00:13:45,229 since that poetry major I dated in College. 309 00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,909 He was into the cure. 310 00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,909 And ultimately, guys, baby. 311 00:13:48,939 --> 00:13:53,269 Sometimes a little mystery is nice in the relationship. 312 00:13:53,289 --> 00:13:54,549 Maybe we can go over my life. 313 00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:56,229 I can run lines with you. 314 00:13:56,259 --> 00:13:57,829 What's my motivation? 315 00:13:57,859 --> 00:13:59,709 I'd like to play it sexy. 316 00:13:59,729 --> 00:14:01,549 He's a twelve year old boy named Timmy. 317 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,669 I'm a sexy twelve year old boy named Timmy Goo. 318 00:14:04,689 --> 00:14:07,549 Okay, so I take the court, shoot the ball. I miss. 319 00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:09,529 And you say boo. 320 00:14:09,609 --> 00:14:14,409 I may have missed a shot, but don't you miss a shot at savings? 321 00:14:14,649 --> 00:14:18,169 Buying a car anywhere else would be a career killer. 322 00:14:19,649 --> 00:14:21,709 Wait, you really have to say that. 323 00:14:21,729 --> 00:14:23,709 Well, after a couple of takes, if Timmy and I are groove. 324 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,149 I'll probably try a little improv. 325 00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,509 But that's the gist. 326 00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:29,629 You have an amazing career. Honey, don't you think this is a little demeaning? 327 00:14:29,649 --> 00:14:31,309 No. They want to make fun of me. 328 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,109 I can take it. I know who I am. 329 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,629 And it'll be fun to be on TV again. 330 00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:38,229 Besides that guest spot I did on Silk Stockings. 331 00:14:38,249 --> 00:14:42,289 I guess it would be nice to have something to show my family 332 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,409 that's not sexy. 333 00:14:47,249 --> 00:14:50,109 And I don't know the fact that Roman and I 334 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:55,549 milked those cows ourselves or that there was a rainbow in the sky that day. 335 00:14:55,579 --> 00:14:59,809 But we had never churned such sweet butter 336 00:15:00,249 --> 00:15:01,309 that really happened. 337 00:15:01,339 --> 00:15:02,509 See, right there. 338 00:15:02,539 --> 00:15:05,389 That's what's important to Chuck Ferguson. 339 00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:07,989 Butter and rainbows. I like rainbows. 340 00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,429 I like butter. 341 00:15:09,449 --> 00:15:11,989 Ben, I think we're going to have a winning season this year. 342 00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:13,149 That is so great. 343 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,309 I love you so much. 344 00:15:15,339 --> 00:15:19,309 Okay, well, I'll send the paperwork over tomorrow. 345 00:15:19,329 --> 00:15:20,369 Wait, 346 00:15:21,009 --> 00:15:23,409 this just reminded me of something. 347 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,049 A memory, like a real memory. 348 00:15:26,089 --> 00:15:28,709 Bob, do you remember that night in Omaha? 349 00:15:28,739 --> 00:15:33,829 So many nights in Omaha? How can you pick just one? Let's stop talking now. 350 00:15:33,859 --> 00:15:38,149 No, there was a straw thing just like this at a diner. 351 00:15:38,179 --> 00:15:41,189 It was when we were hitchhiking across the country 352 00:15:41,219 --> 00:15:44,749 and you had just divorced your third husband. 353 00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:47,389 Remember that we couldn't pay because we 354 00:15:47,419 --> 00:15:51,229 had spent the last of our money at the motel on sodas 355 00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:55,069 and that Bert Reynolds movie with him and that kid. 356 00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:56,669 And they were big city detectives. 357 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,249 Cop and a half. 358 00:15:58,449 --> 00:15:59,669 That's right. 359 00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:03,169 He was half a cop because he was a child. 360 00:16:03,409 --> 00:16:04,829 Third husband. 361 00:16:04,849 --> 00:16:06,709 I thought you married your high school sweetheart. 362 00:16:06,729 --> 00:16:08,549 Yes, she did. Three times. 363 00:16:08,579 --> 00:16:12,029 They love love and family and little cops. 364 00:16:12,049 --> 00:16:13,069 Let's go. 365 00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:15,029 And we let all those napkins on fire 366 00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:18,469 at that diner. Did you strap that top heavy waitress with a cheap highlight? 367 00:16:18,489 --> 00:16:20,069 Hey, we ran out without paying. 368 00:16:20,099 --> 00:16:23,449 It's called dining and dashing, sweetheart. 369 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:28,589 Then somehow she got us a free ride with a trucker. 370 00:16:28,619 --> 00:16:31,149 Clarence, listen to this. 371 00:16:31,179 --> 00:16:32,789 These two guys, 372 00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:36,789 they disappear into the gas station bathroom for, like, 20 minutes. 373 00:16:36,809 --> 00:16:40,269 They come out free ride to California. Never stop once. 374 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,549 That was our deal time. 375 00:16:41,579 --> 00:16:43,709 And it all began to unravel. 376 00:16:43,729 --> 00:16:45,149 What's going on? 377 00:16:45,179 --> 00:16:47,409 You've been lying to me the whole time. 378 00:16:47,849 --> 00:16:49,029 I like rainbows. 379 00:16:49,059 --> 00:16:50,709 And I did milk a cow. 380 00:16:50,739 --> 00:16:52,869 Well, I thought it was a cow. 381 00:16:52,899 --> 00:16:54,569 How was I milking? 382 00:16:58,169 --> 00:16:59,689 Sorry, Ben. 383 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,749 I don't think this is going to work out, okay? 384 00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:03,849 Yes, 385 00:17:04,329 --> 00:17:05,389 we lied. 386 00:17:05,419 --> 00:17:07,629 And it was my idea. 387 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:11,269 But they came together in this moment to help me. 388 00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:13,629 They are loyal and real. 389 00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:15,829 And what more can you ask for in a partner? 390 00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:17,469 Ben, let's cut through all this. 391 00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,989 I've gotten to know you, and I like you. I like you. 392 00:17:20,009 --> 00:17:21,709 Let me finish. You want real? 393 00:17:21,729 --> 00:17:23,589 I'll tell you real. The triplets. 394 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,149 They hate me. I haven't seen them in ten years. 395 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,909 And I love hookers like a lot. 396 00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:31,309 And that hockey stick I gave you just a weasel stick. 397 00:17:31,339 --> 00:17:32,349 Weasel stick. 398 00:17:32,369 --> 00:17:34,629 This isn't about real. It's about image. 399 00:17:34,649 --> 00:17:35,749 These people are not good 400 00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:39,189 for the Chuck Ferguson brand, so they're not good for Chuck Ferguson. 401 00:17:39,209 --> 00:17:40,629 Well, let me tell you something. 402 00:17:40,649 --> 00:17:43,549 The day that puck hit me was not the greatest day in my life. 403 00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:47,569 I can't see Green, and I laugh out of context. 404 00:17:47,769 --> 00:17:49,749 I'll see you, Ben. Ever want to go? 405 00:17:49,779 --> 00:17:51,649 Horring, give me a call. 406 00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:57,149 You see that's puck damage right there? 407 00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:59,309 I'm sorry we couldn't show my boyhood hero. 408 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,409 Ben, it's okay. 409 00:18:02,329 --> 00:18:05,149 I was being a selfish moron. I'm sorry. 410 00:18:05,179 --> 00:18:06,689 I'm sorry, 411 00:18:07,009 --> 00:18:12,689 but the good news is, you guys have a real memory now, and that is just great. 412 00:18:14,889 --> 00:18:16,249 Damn it. 413 00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:17,649 All right. 414 00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:22,909 Before we do this. I had a brilliant idea. 415 00:18:22,939 --> 00:18:24,349 After you missed the shot. 416 00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:26,549 Timmy here is going to say it's so easy. 417 00:18:26,579 --> 00:18:28,229 Even a kid can do it. 418 00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:31,229 Then Timmy's going to make the shot. That fantastic. 419 00:18:31,249 --> 00:18:33,929 Or what? You're a man with a headphone 420 00:18:34,569 --> 00:18:35,629 now it's one done. 421 00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:36,709 We're back in our cars. 422 00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:37,769 Okay, 423 00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:40,849 let's roll. 424 00:18:41,769 --> 00:18:43,369 All right. Ready? 425 00:18:49,969 --> 00:18:51,309 Wait. Sorry. 426 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:52,589 Got lucky on that one. 427 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:53,909 Not a problem. 428 00:18:53,939 --> 00:18:56,329 And action 429 00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:00,309 again. I'm Rusty. 430 00:19:00,329 --> 00:19:02,049 I guess I got this. 431 00:19:12,529 --> 00:19:14,169 What's the deal, though? 432 00:19:16,129 --> 00:19:17,949 Went too late. Did I miss the miss? 433 00:19:17,969 --> 00:19:19,289 Not yet. 434 00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:22,249 He's making it. Why is he making it? 435 00:19:22,389 --> 00:19:25,239 Because he's awesome and he can't miss. 436 00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:41,853 Ho, that was for me. 437 00:19:41,936 --> 00:19:45,699 that was for me, or he suddenly weigh into gods. 438 00:19:48,859 --> 00:19:51,559 Okay, so he's really good at basketball. 439 00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:54,619 But other than that, what does he have that I don't have 440 00:19:54,979 --> 00:19:57,539 me. You're killing me, though. 441 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,619 Close your mouth. 442 00:20:01,859 --> 00:20:03,579 Unbelievable. 443 00:20:06,059 --> 00:20:08,359 I hear you are taking a new family photo. 444 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,359 I think things are going better with Roman. 445 00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:12,159 Roman and I have entered a new phase. 446 00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:16,159 I'll do my best to spend a little more time with him and treat him like my son. 447 00:20:16,189 --> 00:20:17,439 I am happy to hear that. 448 00:20:17,459 --> 00:20:19,389 I'm actually very proud of you. You should be. 449 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,979 I'm a special lady. 450 00:20:27,099 --> 00:20:29,875 There's peanut butter in here. How do I get it?