1 00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,966 [Pigeon cooing] 2 00:00:15,666 --> 00:00:18,166 Ohh! Ohh! Aah! 3 00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:19,600 Mike: What is it? What's going on? 4 00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:20,966 The pigeon's back! It's alive! 5 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:23,600 - Where? - Up there. 6 00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:26,733 I can't see anything. 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,433 Alison: Oh, great. 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,400 - Oh, it must be a ghost. - How many times, Kitty? 9 00:00:30,466 --> 00:00:31,700 Sleep in your own room. 10 00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,666 I prefer it here. 11 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:34,933 Aren't you late for work? 12 00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:36,833 Ohh. 13 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,100 Mike, we're late for work! 14 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:39,700 [Mike groans] 15 00:00:39,766 --> 00:00:41,900 Alison: Ohh! Get out! 16 00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:05,000 Bum. 17 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,166 Right. 18 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,766 Uh, bum or neck or leg, 19 00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:10,966 but first choice, bum. 20 00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:12,266 Is it cooked? 21 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,066 Of course, I'm not animal. 22 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:15,600 - Could've fooled me. - Hey, you want some?! 23 00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:18,733 Pat: All right, all right. Robin: Well. 24 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:24,300 So Robin misses eating bum of... 25 00:01:24,366 --> 00:01:25,833 Robin: Oh, any bum. 26 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,700 Rump steak, why not? 27 00:01:27,766 --> 00:01:29,400 If I may, Patrick-- 28 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,366 Pat: Well, we haven't actually finished yet. 29 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:33,366 Good. Now, I can't be the only one who is sick of the noise 30 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:34,666 night after night. 31 00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:36,400 Fanny: Oh, not this again. 32 00:01:36,466 --> 00:01:37,766 Captain: No, I am not talking about you, Fanny. 33 00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:39,666 I am talking about Alison and Michael 34 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,533 banging all evening! 35 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,566 Banging, hammering, drilling. 36 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,333 It's intolerable! 37 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,066 They've been forced to get jobs in the day. 38 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,966 Now it's time to force them out in the night. 39 00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:51,200 But then they'd be gone. 40 00:01:51,266 --> 00:01:52,633 Exactly. 41 00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:57,900 Mike: Bye, guys! Have one for me. 42 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,500 All right. 43 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,433 We've got some more free gooseberries. 44 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,700 Alison: Mmm. 45 00:02:11,766 --> 00:02:15,133 They're all going to the pub. 46 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,966 They're going to sit in a nice pub 47 00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:19,366 and drink 4 pints probably. 48 00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:22,333 Oh, my God. That sounds nice. 49 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,766 Mike: And we've got to go home and strip 26 doors. 50 00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:27,133 Alison: 27 and the skirting boards. 51 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,333 Ah! 52 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,333 - I miss pints. - I miss pints. 53 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,466 Captain: They're broken, in retreat, out of their depth! 54 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,833 I believe it's time for one last push. 55 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:43,600 Strike while they're weak. Get them out forever. 56 00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:44,800 I don't want to! 57 00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:46,600 - What?! - I like them! 58 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,033 I like Alison, and I miss her 59 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,500 when she's not here. 60 00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:50,666 Thomas: So much. Captain: You're too soft. 61 00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:52,033 You like everyone. 62 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,500 Kitty: Well, I don't like you! 63 00:02:53,566 --> 00:02:55,466 Bossing everyone around all the long day! 64 00:02:55,533 --> 00:02:57,100 Since they've arrived, you've become worse and worse, 65 00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:58,600 and I've had enough, to be actually honest! 66 00:02:58,666 --> 00:03:00,566 Mary: Amen! 67 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:01,966 Captain: Well, I haven't heard anybody else complain 68 00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,733 about my leadership. 69 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,133 Thomas: Leadership? You're not the leader! 70 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,100 Yes, I am! I'm ranking officer. 71 00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,666 Fanny: Well, we're not soldiers. 72 00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:12,833 Pat: Yeah, this isn't the army...sir. 73 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,233 Captain: Oh, I see what this is. 74 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,166 It's a coup, isn't it? A bloodless coup! 75 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:19,400 What, is it you, Julian, taking over? 76 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,866 Julian: Well, if one were called upon to govern 77 00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:23,833 by the will of the people, uh, you know, 78 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:24,966 one would be honored. 79 00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:26,566 Pat: No one has to be in charge. 80 00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,366 Kitty: I agree. Pat should be in charge. 81 00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,066 Pat: No, that wasn't what I was saying. 82 00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:33,400 No, it's fine. I'll leave, 83 00:03:33,466 --> 00:03:36,000 but you'll see, hmm? 84 00:03:36,066 --> 00:03:38,166 When there's a crisis, you'll need me 85 00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,600 when the chips are down. 86 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:41,900 Robin: Chips! 87 00:03:41,966 --> 00:03:43,333 Others: Hmm? 88 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,933 Bum and chips. 89 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,066 Pat: OK, which brings us back to food club. 90 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:51,600 Now, Julian would like to talk a bit about fondue. 91 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,133 Julian: Fondue. Well, it's Swiss, I think. 92 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,266 Very interesting, very fun. 93 00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:58,700 In fact, sometimes I call it fundue. 94 00:03:58,766 --> 00:04:00,066 [Car approaching] 95 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,300 They're home! 96 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,333 Essentially, it's melted cheese 97 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,600 with, you know, little bits of bread. 98 00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:09,100 What? Bread and cheese? 99 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,800 Humphrey: Ow! 100 00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,366 Kitty: Sorry, Humphrey! 101 00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:13,966 No, no, it happens. 102 00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,533 Don't worry about it. 103 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,133 Kitty: Alison! Alison! 104 00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:23,266 Oh. 105 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:24,733 You're not Alison. 106 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,000 [Doorbell rings] 107 00:04:28,066 --> 00:04:29,533 Alison: We concentrate on the windows this week, 108 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,533 and then we can start on the sandblasting. 109 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,366 Who's that? 110 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:36,100 Mike? Mike! 111 00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:38,866 Lager top, please. 112 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:41,933 Who is that? 113 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,633 Alison: Sorry. Can we help you? 114 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,500 No, thank you. You get on. 115 00:04:46,566 --> 00:04:48,000 Um... 116 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,566 [Doorbell rings] 117 00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:50,766 We're not in at the moment. 118 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,366 Excuse me? 119 00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:53,600 You don't need to ring the doorbell. 120 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:55,700 We're here. 121 00:04:55,766 --> 00:04:58,200 Oh! Oh, I'm such a silly pillock! 122 00:04:58,266 --> 00:04:59,666 I thought you were the groundsmen! 123 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,266 Alison: Oh. Well. 124 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,333 We're everything. We're the everything men. 125 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,833 Yes, it doesn't look like a lot of gardening's 126 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,100 gone on around here. 127 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:08,633 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! 128 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,300 I'm Fiona, Harrington Hotels. 129 00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:12,100 - Alison. - Mike. 130 00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:13,866 Now, I'm not going to beat about the proverbial. 131 00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:16,200 We have been looking at this property for a long time, 132 00:05:16,266 --> 00:05:19,433 and when we heard that the owner had finally passed away, sadly, 133 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,200 we had thought it would hit the market, 134 00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:24,200 but rumor has it that you two are a couple 135 00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:26,833 of budding hoteliers yourselves. 136 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,100 So you can tell me to get the hell off of your property 137 00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:32,000 if you'd like, but would it interest you 138 00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,300 to talk about selling the place? 139 00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:35,766 Mike: Oh. Uh... 140 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,033 Alison: Well, I mean, it couldn't hurt 141 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,933 to talk, could it? 142 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,466 Couldn't hurt at all. What's the opposite of hurt? 143 00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:41,933 Pleasure. It would pleasure me to talk about it. 144 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,100 Yeah. 145 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:47,400 [Gasps] 146 00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:49,900 No, no. You're missing the point. 147 00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,633 Thomas; It's perfectly absurd to dip individual pieces 148 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,500 of bread when one can hold a full slice in one's hand! 149 00:05:55,566 --> 00:05:57,200 It's not about the cheese! 150 00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:58,733 It's about the fun! 151 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,633 Right. So if you drop a piece of bread, 152 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,666 you have to do a saucy forfeit. 153 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,500 That's when it gets very interesting. 154 00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:07,433 There's the lucky dip. That's a good one, 155 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,800 and then there's the Swiss roll. 156 00:06:08,866 --> 00:06:10,333 First you remove your-- 157 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,633 Kitty: Everyone, everyone, everyone! 158 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,266 Come quick! 159 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:14,300 There's a lady downstairs with red hair, 160 00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:16,266 and she wants to buy the house! 161 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,166 - Are you selling? - Are you selling? 162 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:22,933 Alison: Shh. Guys, I don't know. 163 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:23,966 Mike: And here's the kitchen. Take a seat. 164 00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,200 I'll just, uh-- 165 00:06:25,266 --> 00:06:27,500 [Fiona coughing] 166 00:06:27,566 --> 00:06:28,933 Sorry. 167 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,733 [Ghosts chattering] 168 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,966 - Gooseberry? - Oh. Uh, no, thank you. 169 00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:34,533 Maybe later. 170 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,433 So when is the work going to start? 171 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,800 It has. 172 00:06:37,866 --> 00:06:39,400 Oh, of course it has. 173 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,233 So when do you expect to open? 174 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,966 Julian: Oh, she's a spunky one! 175 00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:44,633 Straight down to business! 176 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,333 Well, we've had a few setbacks, to be honest. 177 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,133 Fanny: Just a few? 178 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,000 We spent all our loans on drainage and the roof. 179 00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:51,500 Alison: But we've been doing the renovations ourselves, 180 00:06:51,566 --> 00:06:53,333 so that's free. 181 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,166 - Apart from materials. - Apart from materials. 182 00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,533 Well, you must be exhausted, you poor little dumplings. 183 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,033 Alison: So we thought when we get the first couple 184 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,300 of rooms finished, then we'll open it like that 185 00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:01,533 while we do the rest. 186 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,966 I see. How many staff? 187 00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:05,433 Two. 188 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,433 Oh, like a BandB. 189 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,666 At first. 190 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:13,200 Aww. Well, it sounds like you really are doing your best. 191 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:17,033 Of course, Harrington Hotels has the finance to use a vast team 192 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,766 of contractors, get the renovations done 193 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:19,866 within the year. 194 00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,366 Pat: Within the year? 195 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:22,933 Fiona: And of course, as you know, 196 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:23,966 there's the start-up costs, the staff, 197 00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,466 the services, the marketing, 198 00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:27,133 a big opening event, blah, blah, blah. 199 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,933 We can afford the short-term loss 200 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,433 for the long-term gain. 201 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,333 - Of course. - Yeah. 202 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,400 And we'd be willing to make you a generous offer. 203 00:07:36,466 --> 00:07:38,533 Fanny: Now, this ought to be a large sum. 204 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:43,900 This house is worth at least £1,000. 205 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,466 Ohh! 206 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,966 Thomas: Heavens above! 207 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,533 Julian: Oh, the big boys are in town! 208 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,100 Mary: So many shillings! 209 00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:52,166 Alison: Heh heh heh. 210 00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:53,533 Is that the sort of amount you were thinking of? 211 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,366 Yeah. Ahem. Um, yes, please. 212 00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:58,133 It does look like a lot when it's written down, doesn't it? 213 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,333 Fiona: Subject to survey of course. 214 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,166 Shall we take a look around the rest of the house? 215 00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:04,633 Alison: Yeah, please, yeah, follow us. 216 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,000 My God! 217 00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:07,700 Does this mean they're leaving? 218 00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:09,733 Julian: Yep. Taking the money and running. 219 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,266 And worse. You heard the lady, this place will be a hotel 220 00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,666 before you can say hotel! 221 00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:16,300 Hotel. Oh, no, I said it! 222 00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:18,833 Common room now! 223 00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,100 If everyone can make it and wants to. 224 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:24,100 [All talking at once] 225 00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:25,933 Fiona: Beautiful original features. 226 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,866 Oh, just look at that cornice. 227 00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:30,400 Humphrey: Uh, excuse me. 228 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,133 Yeah? No. 229 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,200 I don't suppose you could move me away 230 00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:34,900 from his large hole? 231 00:08:34,966 --> 00:08:36,566 Captain: Who's that lady with Michael and Alison? 232 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:38,433 - Didn't the others tell you? - No. 233 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,333 We are having a little break from each other actually. 234 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,666 Humphrey: Oh, yeah? Got sick of you being 235 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,466 a bit of a prat, did they? 236 00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:46,366 No. Absolutely not! 237 00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:47,800 It was the other way around if anything. 238 00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:49,300 Now, come along. Who is she? 239 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,266 Well, apparently, she's, uh, buying the house. 240 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:54,266 So are you going to move me away from the, uh-- 241 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,233 You're not there anymore, are you? 242 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,000 Yeah, he's gone. 243 00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:05,866 [Ghosts all talking at once] 244 00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:12,200 Pat, high-pitched: Guys, guys! Listen up! 245 00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:14,900 Ahem. We need to think of a plan! 246 00:09:14,966 --> 00:09:17,900 Oh, he sounds like the Captain! 247 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,533 Julian: He does sound like him. 248 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,466 Robin: No, Captain be more like, 249 00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:24,966 "Fall in! Take charge!" 250 00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,833 Thomas: "Right, pipe down, everyone! 251 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,500 Quite enough of me being a smelly old walrus!" 252 00:09:29,566 --> 00:09:32,733 [Laughter and chatter] 253 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,933 Kitty: "I'm going to boss everybody about 254 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,866 and never think of anything myself!" 255 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:41,100 Ha ha ha! 256 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,400 Pat: OK, guys, OK. Let's get to it. 257 00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:46,533 Ahem. If that's all right with everyone? 258 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:52,166 We just need to give them clear, calm reasons not to sell. 259 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:55,800 Robin: Uh... 260 00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:58,200 [All talking at once] 261 00:09:58,266 --> 00:09:59,900 Mary: She's a witch, and I should know! 262 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,466 Fiona: Well, it's a big decision, 263 00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:03,033 and you'll need time to think about it. 264 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,500 So any questions, just give me a tinkle. 265 00:10:04,566 --> 00:10:07,033 I mean, I think, yes. 266 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,300 Robin: No! Mike: Yes! Done. 267 00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:12,333 Alison: Yeah. Robin: Ugh! 268 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,800 Great! So I'll set the wheels in motion, 269 00:10:14,866 --> 00:10:16,333 get surveyors booked in, 270 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,600 and we'll take it from there, OK? 271 00:10:18,666 --> 00:10:20,100 Sorry. I'm going to have to get this. 272 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:21,600 Speak soon. 273 00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:22,766 Mike: Don't forget your gooseberries. 274 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:25,633 Oh. 275 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:28,566 Thank you. 276 00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,433 [Car starts] 277 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,200 Fiona: It's in the bag. 278 00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:33,433 They haven't got a clue what they're doing. 279 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,933 They practically ripped my arm off. 280 00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,700 Yeah, yeah, we can get this for a steal. 281 00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,866 [Ghosts all talking at once] 282 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,866 Alison: Enough, enough, enough, OK?! 283 00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:47,266 We tried, we really did, but we can't afford 284 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,666 to do this anymore. 285 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:49,800 You need money? 286 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,733 - Mm-hmm. - Right. 287 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:56,766 Powwow upstairs now-wow. 288 00:10:56,833 --> 00:11:01,266 I will find you means if it's the last thing I do. 289 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,400 OK. They're gone. 290 00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:05,066 So they want us to stay now? 291 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,800 Yeah. 292 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,800 No, I know, I don't understand them either, 293 00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:11,033 but they're not going to be our problem soon. 294 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:13,033 We can find an unhaunted house to live in. 295 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,566 Let's not get ahead of ourselves, yeah? 296 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,100 Yeah, no, we should wait till it's official 297 00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:19,133 before we start looking at houses. 298 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,666 Man: Sorry. I'm late. 299 00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:23,133 - Oh, I remember you guys. - Yeah. 300 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,966 Wow. Your budget's changed. 301 00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,566 Oh. Well, my great auntie died. 302 00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:27,833 I'm really sorry to hear that. 303 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:30,200 No, it's fine. I never met her. 304 00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,400 Right. 305 00:11:32,466 --> 00:11:34,366 I mean, the front terrace really sells this place. 306 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,200 So impressive. 307 00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:37,400 It was renovated by an architect who lived here first, 308 00:11:37,466 --> 00:11:38,966 I believe, in the sixties. 309 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:42,466 Let's take a look inside, shall we? 310 00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:44,533 - No. - Sorry? 311 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,933 No. 312 00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:53,166 I'm just not really feeling this one. 313 00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:54,266 Sure you don't want to see inside? 314 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,300 Alison: No. 315 00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:58,433 She's very instinctive. Goes with her gut. 316 00:12:10,266 --> 00:12:13,200 Mary: I knows. Put the house on wheels or a cart, 317 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,233 move it to pastures new. 318 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:18,266 Then the hair lady can build the hotel in its place, 319 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:21,866 and ours the house forever will be. 320 00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:24,566 Pat: OK. Fanny: Well, it's not OK, is it? 321 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,533 You can't put a house on wheels. 322 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,033 No, it all comes down to money, right? 323 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,966 So if they can find their own investors-- 324 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,100 Robin: Me no want hotel. 325 00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,500 Julian: But--but--but--but-- Robin: But--but--but--but-- 326 00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:36,533 Julian: with respect, Robin, hear me out. 327 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,733 It doesn't have to be a hotel if there are investors. 328 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,966 It's very clever, you see. 329 00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,400 You tell them they've invested 330 00:12:42,466 --> 00:12:44,600 in offshore high-yields, all right, 331 00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:47,000 and then the profits they receive are just funds 332 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,833 from other investors and so on and so forth. 333 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,700 Pat: Sounds a bit like fraud, mate. 334 00:12:50,766 --> 00:12:52,500 Julian: Well, yes, sure, Pat, 335 00:12:52,566 --> 00:12:54,533 but sometimes you have to bend the rules in order 336 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,733 to make them, uh, make you some money, so--hmm. 337 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,100 We sell cakes! 338 00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:01,866 We can't make cakes. 339 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:03,733 - Buns, then! - That's not the issue, Kitty. 340 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,933 Ohh! 341 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,633 Thomas: I have it! 342 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:10,200 I shall ghost-write a novel in Alison's name, 343 00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:14,400 a modern bestseller, the most erotic fiction of the year. 344 00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:15,966 - Ohh. - Oh, no. 345 00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:17,833 Michelle was driving a car. 346 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,566 Julian: Oh, good Lord. 347 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,266 Nathaniel was sitting handsomely in the adjoining seat. 348 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:26,333 He leans over and kisses her nape. 349 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,300 "Be careful," she warns breathlessly. 350 00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:30,400 "I'm trying to drive a car!" 351 00:13:30,466 --> 00:13:31,800 - Yes. - Someone take this down! 352 00:13:31,866 --> 00:13:33,100 Quick, quick, quick! 353 00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:34,566 Robin: Michelle drive car. 354 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:37,133 Nathaniel look nice in next chair, 355 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,100 uh, and then they do it. 356 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,766 I'd buy that. 357 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:43,966 Thomas: Where was I? 358 00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:45,433 Nathaniel caresses her... 359 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,666 OK, so, here we are, the penthouse. 360 00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:51,466 Nice to be up high away from it all. 361 00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:54,566 Man: Indeed. OK, then. 362 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,433 The first thing I'm going to show you-- 363 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,300 because let's face it, that's why we're up here-- 364 00:13:58,366 --> 00:14:01,666 the view. 365 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,200 You've got to be joking. 366 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:06,600 Man: I know. Stunning, isn't it? 367 00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:08,700 And a balcony there if you're into gardening, 368 00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:10,633 and, you know, even if you don't, 369 00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:12,333 you could barbecue there, 370 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,433 and it's south facing, so, you know... 371 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,300 Ghosts: Hallo! Alison: Hallo. 372 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:21,966 - Oh! Hallo! Hallo! - Sie winkt! Sie Winkt! 373 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:25,100 I just remembered. I don't like heights. 374 00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:26,966 - What? - I thought you... 375 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,866 It's not for me, thanks. 376 00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:32,566 Ghosts: Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein! 377 00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:35,066 Komm zuruck, komm zuruck. 378 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:36,933 Ohh. 379 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000 Thomas: Harbingers of doom. 380 00:14:39,066 --> 00:14:41,666 Kitty: We're running out of time. 381 00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:46,300 We'll think of something. We have to. 382 00:14:46,366 --> 00:14:48,700 Now then, you might not like it, 383 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:52,766 but we must have order, direction, leadership. 384 00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:54,200 Yes, what is it? 385 00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:55,600 - Nigel. - Nigel. 386 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:57,633 Um, why are you here? 387 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,900 - Good question. - My question. 388 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,433 I'm here to help. You clearly need leadership. 389 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,900 Ramshackle bunch, moping about down here all day, 390 00:15:06,966 --> 00:15:08,833 feeling sorry for yourselves. 391 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:12,133 Now look. I can lead you upstairs, get you new quarters. 392 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,966 There is no reason why we shouldn't be enjoying 393 00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:15,633 the whole house together. 394 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,133 We'll show them. 395 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,733 I don't think we'll be doing that. 396 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,533 [Ghosts murmuring] 397 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,100 What is it? Are you stuck down here or something? 398 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,200 Woman: No, we just don't really like going up there. 399 00:15:25,266 --> 00:15:27,000 - Not bothered. - The smell. 400 00:15:27,066 --> 00:15:28,666 Do you not get tired of one another? 401 00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:31,466 - Well, we do. - We do. 402 00:15:31,533 --> 00:15:33,066 Different woman: I mean, sure, we do fall out 403 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,900 from time to time, 404 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,300 but it's never lasted longer than 20, 25 years. 405 00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,500 [All talking at once] 406 00:15:39,566 --> 00:15:41,666 Woman: The thing is, Captain, this is our home. 407 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,566 You know, we were thrown in here together, 408 00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:46,100 and I suppose we belong together at the end of the day. 409 00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:48,566 Man: Yeah, it might be a plague pit, 410 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:50,800 but it's our plague pit, isn't it? 411 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,300 Captain: I see. 412 00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:54,900 Yes. 413 00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:59,800 Oh! Ah. Carry on. 414 00:15:59,866 --> 00:16:01,666 Mike: And we've seen some amazing places. 415 00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,233 Not a bull's-eye yet, but we'll get there. 416 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,833 Yeah. Now, your business plan indicated 417 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:06,500 18 guest rooms, didn't it? 418 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,900 Mm-hmm. 419 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,666 Mike: Oh, yeah, the business plan, yeah. 420 00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,300 Fiona: Ah, well, I'm immediately realizing we can't 421 00:16:11,366 --> 00:16:12,666 accommodate that many rooms. 422 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:14,333 I'm such a silly duck. 423 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,100 A lot of space needed for facilities, spa, 424 00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:17,800 swimming pool, et cetera, 425 00:16:17,866 --> 00:16:20,400 so I think my valuation might have been 426 00:16:20,466 --> 00:16:22,433 a teensy bit premature. 427 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,500 - My fault entirely. - Right. 428 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,200 We'll see what it comes to once we get 429 00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:27,333 a clear picture from these chaps, shall we? 430 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,633 - Great. - Sorry, does that mean-- 431 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,000 Ciao. Oh, hello, Gerald. 432 00:16:30,066 --> 00:16:31,900 Yeah. Yeah. 433 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,533 Yes. She's wily one. 434 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,700 Fiona: Oh, great! 435 00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:41,433 So it's a way of listening to music on the go. 436 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,700 Only instead of just one album, the multi-deck, 437 00:16:44,766 --> 00:16:48,866 housed in a knapsack, can play a selection from 4 albums. 438 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:51,900 It's almost 50 songs. I mean, imagine that. 439 00:16:51,966 --> 00:16:53,400 Julian: It already exists. 440 00:16:53,466 --> 00:16:55,800 As if! 441 00:16:55,866 --> 00:16:56,966 Does it? 442 00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:58,633 Robin: Icoeic. 443 00:16:58,700 --> 00:16:59,933 Thomas: Why have we abandoned my novel? 444 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,700 Robin: Icoeic. 445 00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,466 Fanny: What are you saying, you smelly ape? 446 00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:07,800 ICOEIC. International Centre Of Excellence In Chess. 447 00:17:07,866 --> 00:17:09,800 A lot of money in chess. Lot of money. 448 00:17:09,866 --> 00:17:11,800 Yeah. That may take some time, Robin. 449 00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,900 We need dough now. 450 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,266 Oh, let's find some buried treasure. 451 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,533 First, we need to know where to look. 452 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,666 Oh, let's find a treasure map! 453 00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:25,800 Of course. 454 00:17:25,866 --> 00:17:27,866 I know just the thing. 455 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,766 Alison: Hmm. 456 00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:39,633 She's got a thing about storage. 457 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:44,600 And there's no other nooks and crannies, 458 00:17:44,666 --> 00:17:46,300 hiding places? 459 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,100 No, this is it. 460 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,500 I've got places with more character, 461 00:17:49,566 --> 00:17:50,733 but you said you only wanted new build. 462 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:51,866 Alison: Can we have a moment? 463 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,233 Sure. 464 00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:57,400 Nothing? 465 00:17:57,466 --> 00:18:01,266 All clear. Not a ghost in sight. 466 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:03,033 - It's a really nice house. - Yeah. 467 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:06,166 - Nice garden. - Yeah. 468 00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:08,200 It's the sort we wanted in the first place, wasn't it? 469 00:18:08,266 --> 00:18:09,466 Mm-hmm. 470 00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:11,866 Nice, normal house. 471 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,600 It's quiet, isn't it? 472 00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:19,366 Mm-hmm. 473 00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:28,533 [Ghosts chattering] 474 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,700 Fanny: Pull over. Come on. 475 00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:32,600 They're all waiting for me. 476 00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:34,566 Well, you won't have to put up with it for much longer. 477 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,133 All right, all right, all right. 478 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,233 - Are they with you? - Yeah. 479 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:45,400 Mike: Right. Well, I'm going to have a bath. 480 00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:54,566 Fanny: Now if I remember rightly, 481 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:58,900 it is behind that chest under the last board. 482 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,966 What, you want me to lift up the floorboard? 483 00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:16,866 Before you do, I would like to say something. 484 00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:21,600 OK. 485 00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:26,433 When you first came here, I thought you were a prostitute. 486 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,533 I did. I can admit that now, 487 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,666 and whilst I still find it utterly impossible to believe 488 00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,100 I'm related to such a-- 489 00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:35,433 Pat: Ahem. 490 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:39,666 The fact is, you are a Button of sorts. 491 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:42,400 Half a Button, and this house, 492 00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:47,333 our beautiful house, should belong to a Button, 493 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,200 should be cared for by a Button. 494 00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:57,266 Underneath that board is a box, and in that box is a jewel, 495 00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:00,066 an Araby jewel given to my husband 496 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:03,700 by Queen Empress Alexandra herself. 497 00:20:03,766 --> 00:20:06,500 I am quite sure it is priceless. 498 00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:25,000 If that jewel can keep this house a home, 499 00:20:25,066 --> 00:20:30,566 a family home, then it is yours. 500 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:32,633 Thank you. 501 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,233 That's--I don't know what to say. 502 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,033 Well, I mean, it is yours now anyway. 503 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,666 I can't physically stop you. 504 00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:40,033 Kitty: Open it! 505 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,566 [Ghosts all talking at once] 506 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,833 "Sorry, darling. Pawned it." 507 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:58,333 Fanny: You thieving dick! 508 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,433 Alison: Look, guys. No offense, 509 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,133 but it wasn't just about the money. 510 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,000 This isn't how normal people live. 511 00:21:04,066 --> 00:21:06,366 - We can change. - Please, just stay. 512 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,700 I promise I won't come into your bedroom every morning. 513 00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:10,733 Julian: We'll be on our best behavior. 514 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,733 Fanny: And I will try to stop judging your awful manners, 515 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,433 terrible posture, and-- 516 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:15,900 Thomas: I shall cease my wooing, should you like. 517 00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:17,733 Robin: I stop make you jump. 518 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,066 Mary: I shall peek no more on your husband at privy. 519 00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:21,200 Hmm? 520 00:21:21,266 --> 00:21:22,933 Pat: And I'll-- 521 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,100 actually, I don't do anything wrong, do I? 522 00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,633 Alison: Guys, please. 523 00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,400 This is sweet of you, but I'm sorry. 524 00:21:28,466 --> 00:21:30,833 This place felt like a dream. 525 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:32,666 It really did, but it's turned 526 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:35,333 into a nightmare, 527 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,566 and now we have a chance to get out. 528 00:21:37,633 --> 00:21:40,233 Can you honestly say you wouldn't leave if you could? 529 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,066 [Kitty sobbing] 530 00:22:00,766 --> 00:22:04,066 Ah, Catherine. There you are. 531 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:05,966 You've come to gloat, have you? 532 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,166 Well, you've won. She's leaving. 533 00:22:08,233 --> 00:22:10,266 Captain: No, no. I have some information 534 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:11,666 for you, Catherine. 535 00:22:11,733 --> 00:22:13,100 For your ears only. 536 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,333 Why me? What about the others? 537 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,833 Ah, they don't want to listen to this old walrus. 538 00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:21,500 - You heard? - Yes, I'm afraid so. 539 00:22:21,566 --> 00:22:24,066 Even about your ear hair. 540 00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,400 What? No, not that bit. No. 541 00:22:26,466 --> 00:22:29,833 Oh. 542 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,966 Ahh. 543 00:22:33,033 --> 00:22:35,133 You love Alison, don't you? 544 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,200 - You want her to stay? - Yes. 545 00:22:37,266 --> 00:22:39,166 And you want her to be happy of course. 546 00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:41,666 Of course. 547 00:22:41,733 --> 00:22:45,500 I happen to know that woman is trying to swindle them 548 00:22:45,566 --> 00:22:47,966 by a considerable amount if I'm right. 549 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,266 Now, there is something you can do. 550 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:54,066 She'd listen to you, her friend, 551 00:22:54,133 --> 00:22:56,500 should you choose to help her. 552 00:22:56,566 --> 00:23:00,100 The question is, what do you care about more, 553 00:23:00,166 --> 00:23:04,033 keeping Alison here or letting her be happy? 554 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,466 Sorry. I've got to stand. 555 00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:11,600 Ahh! 556 00:23:11,666 --> 00:23:12,933 Alison: The basement? Kitty: There's plenty of room 557 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,933 down there for swimming baths. 558 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,500 Well, I'm sure she'd have thought of that, wouldn't she? 559 00:23:16,566 --> 00:23:18,900 Exactly. Unless she didn't tell you on purpose, 560 00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:22,100 so she could pay you less. 561 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:26,500 That crafty-- thank you, Kitty! 562 00:23:26,566 --> 00:23:27,766 I'd hug you if I could. 563 00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:29,133 I'd love that. 564 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,100 I am going to miss you in a way. 565 00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:32,333 Maybe I can come back and stay in the hotel sometimes. 566 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,566 Oh, yes. You could stay in my room. 567 00:23:34,633 --> 00:23:38,033 We'll stay up all night talking about balls and eligible men. 568 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:44,833 Yeah. Right. I'd better tell them to check out the basement. 569 00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,933 Hi, Fiona? It's Alison. 570 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,166 I've got some tremendous news, 571 00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:52,133 so if you could just call me back when you get this. 572 00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,100 Thomas: Have they started already? 573 00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:00,633 Pat: It looks like it. 574 00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:01,866 Captain: This way. 575 00:24:01,933 --> 00:24:03,800 Robin: If it make it better, 576 00:24:03,866 --> 00:24:06,766 I seen many house come and go here. 577 00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,833 No, that makes it worse. 578 00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:10,900 Oh, yeah. 579 00:24:10,966 --> 00:24:13,633 Is he smiling? 580 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,233 Robin: Villain! 581 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,000 Hey, you! Uh, me. 582 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:22,833 Just wait there. I'm coming. 583 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:25,833 Oh! 584 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:27,400 Mike: How long did they say they'll take? 585 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,100 Oh, it's not too long. 586 00:24:29,166 --> 00:24:30,833 They just need to dig some exploratory holes. 587 00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:32,966 It's quite common now to use the basement to expand. 588 00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:35,966 Oh, so you've done this before? 589 00:24:36,033 --> 00:24:39,566 I think maybe we might have on one of our other properties. 590 00:24:39,633 --> 00:24:41,666 It was silly of me not to have thought of it here. 591 00:24:41,733 --> 00:24:43,300 I really am a first-class booby. 592 00:24:43,366 --> 00:24:44,633 Mike: Never mind. We got there in the end. 593 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,633 And we don't have to lower the price. 594 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,166 Hmm. 595 00:24:47,233 --> 00:24:51,666 Humphrey: Left a bit, right a bit. 596 00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,933 Man: Sorry to interrupt. Fiona: All done, love? 597 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,500 Not strictly speaking, no. 598 00:24:56,566 --> 00:24:59,466 There's something, um-- perhaps you should come 599 00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:01,166 and take a look for yourselves. 600 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:18,500 Fiona: Oh, it's dusty. 601 00:25:18,566 --> 00:25:20,166 Oh, dear. 602 00:25:20,233 --> 00:25:23,933 - Oh, it's gone all dark. - Hang on. 603 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,533 Fiona: Oh, dear. 604 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,766 Man: Right, so, um... 605 00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:32,500 Fiona: Spit it out, and then we can get back 606 00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:34,500 up into the light. 607 00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:37,533 We took up a couple of stone slabs and started digging, 608 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:42,700 and we had to stop because we found something. 609 00:25:42,766 --> 00:25:44,166 What did you find? 610 00:25:44,233 --> 00:25:46,800 There's a grave. 611 00:25:46,866 --> 00:25:48,800 - Oh, God. - Where? 612 00:25:48,866 --> 00:25:50,900 We're standing on it. 613 00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:53,366 Alison: Ohh! 614 00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:55,433 Fiona: Aah! Aah! Aah! 615 00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:59,133 [Screaming] 616 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,200 Man: Fiona, get up. Give me your hand. 617 00:26:01,266 --> 00:26:03,700 Woman: Oh, gosh, look. Nick, it's you. 618 00:26:03,766 --> 00:26:06,300 How do you know? 619 00:26:06,366 --> 00:26:08,366 Get me out! 620 00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:09,933 Oh, get me out of here! 621 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,566 [Screaming] 622 00:26:13,633 --> 00:26:15,233 Alison: Fiona, please, this wasn't us. 623 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:16,600 It's a plague pit. 624 00:26:16,666 --> 00:26:18,333 Mike: We didn't kill anyone. 625 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,866 Man: Well, we've had to alert the authorities. 626 00:26:19,933 --> 00:26:21,266 Mike: You can just dig up the bones, can't you? 627 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,133 Alison: Yeah, this doesn't affect the sale. 628 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,433 They don't let just anyone exhume human remains. 629 00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,233 If this is a plague pit, it's a site of historical interest. 630 00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:30,133 They'll be at it for ages. 631 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:31,766 I think we'll find a property that isn't a mass grave. 632 00:26:31,833 --> 00:26:33,266 [Ghosts all talking at once] 633 00:26:33,333 --> 00:26:34,533 I have to get out of here immediately. 634 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,900 Mike: Fiona! Fiona, please. 635 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:39,766 Julian: Watch it, Humphrey! 636 00:26:39,833 --> 00:26:43,300 Humphrey: Bingo! 637 00:26:43,366 --> 00:26:48,366 Ah, hello. Ahh. Did you miss me? 638 00:26:48,433 --> 00:26:51,566 Alison: Fiona, please, don't! Wait. Please! 639 00:26:51,633 --> 00:26:53,933 Mike: Fiona. 640 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,200 Ohh! 641 00:26:57,266 --> 00:26:58,933 Kitty, did you know this would happen? 642 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,133 I didn't honestly. 643 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,666 The Captain said that the basement would-- 644 00:27:03,733 --> 00:27:05,966 Ghosts: Ohh! 645 00:27:06,033 --> 00:27:07,733 Robin: Very good! 646 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,433 Captain: It was nothing really. 647 00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:11,100 I'll give you a full debrief at 1900 hours. 648 00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:12,666 Oh, good. 649 00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:15,100 Mary: He'll never hush about this. 650 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:17,933 Hang on. You made me do something horrible. 651 00:27:18,133 --> 00:27:19,833 Captain: Yes, but they're staying. 652 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:20,933 Kitty: Oh, that's good. 653 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,766 [Alison sighs] 654 00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:26,300 - Did they do this? - Yep, yes, yes, they did. 655 00:27:26,366 --> 00:27:29,400 If I could catch you lot, I'd kill you if I could see you! 656 00:27:29,466 --> 00:27:30,766 If you weren't already dead! 657 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:32,833 Pat: Steady on, mate! 658 00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:35,100 Ohh. I feel like we're going to be stuck here forever. 659 00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:38,766 Robin: Join the club! Heh heh heh. 660 00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,133 Kitty: Can I sleep in your room tonight? 661 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,833 Alison: No. Kitty: Tomorrow? 662 00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:43,266 Thomas: You are beautiful when you're sad. 663 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:44,633 Fanny: Have you brushed your hair today? 664 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,366 It looks like a bird's nest. 665 00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:47,433 Alison: Please, guys, you said you'd change. 666 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,633 - Boo! - Ohh! 667 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,266 Humphrey: Guys, I'm back, and I feel amazing. 668 00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,766 - Oh, wow! - So did I miss anything, 669 00:27:53,833 --> 00:27:57,566 or was--oh! 670 00:27:57,633 --> 00:28:00,000 Oh, come off it. 671 00:28:00,066 --> 00:28:03,166 Left a bit. Left a bit. 672 00:28:03,233 --> 00:28:04,866 Left a bit!